Middle Man

What happens when the life you worked so hard to build suddenly stops feeling like your own? Why do so many men in their forties and fifties quietly drift through life feeling disconnected, exhausted or emotionally flat without ever talking about it? And when careers change, relationships end, children leave home, or grief hits, how do you rebuild your identity and rediscover purpose in the second half of life? This week Paul talks to Jonathan Flynn, founder of The Hades Effect, about the emotional awakening that followed his 50th birthday. After losing his father, being made redundant, seeing his children leave home,and experiencing the breakdown of a long-term relationship, Jonathan found himself questioning everything about the life he had built. Rather than simply 'getting on with it', he began a deep process of self-reflection through journaling, shadow work, meditation and rebuilding his sense of identity from the ground up. Jonathan explains why midlife should not be seen as a crisis, but as an opportunity for transformation and self-awareness. He shares the thinking behind his Hades Effect framework, the importance of understanding subconscious beliefs, and why so many men lose sight of who they really are beneath careers, responsibilities and expectations. We explore vulnerability, purpose, male identity, fear, relationships and the possibility of creating a more meaningful and joyful second half of life. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Unresolved trauma can be incredibly tough to deal with when it shows up. Mental health issues, including serious depression and debilitating anxiety, can be part and parcel of a life filled with traumatic events. But it's not impossible to move past, and with resilience and determination, the second half of life can be rebuilt and reframed as something hugely positive. This week Paul talks to Jase Rowe about a relentless sequence of events that would profoundly impact his mental health for more than a decade. These included witnessing his father survive a devastating drink-driving accident, through major heart surgery and a cancer diagnosis, to eventually losing both parents and a lifelong best friend, all before he was 50. Jase opens up about emotional numbness, panic attacks, grief, counselling and the physical reality of anxiety, including nocturnal panic attacks that left him convinced he was having heart problems. But the conversation is ultimately about hope and recovery. Jase explains how counselling, creativity and many small changes to his lifestyle that slowly reconnected him with the things that once brought him joy, gradually transformed his wellbeing. He speaks candidly about learning to identify triggers, letting go of negative influences and rebuilding a life that felt manageable again. This is an honest, emotional and ultimately uplifting conversation about surviving grief, facing mental health struggles head on and discovering that small changes can slowly lead to profound transformation. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Many men feel pressure to become the father they wish they'd had. Others find connecting with their children increasingly challenging as both they and their kids grow older. But in all cases, men can be deeply self-critical as parents. Fatherhood is often both the most beautiful and the most challenging role in a man’s life, and to expect to be the perfect dad is unrealistic. This week Paul talks to life and relationship coach Bernadett Nagy, who argues that children do not need perfect fathers. Instead they need fathers who are present, self-aware, willing to grow and brave enough to be human. She says that becoming a good dad is not something that happens the moment a child is born, but something created daily through presence, self-awareness and emotional growth. There is a tension many fathers feel between being strong, authoritative and in control, while also being vulnerable, playful and emotionally available, and we explore why children often need fathers to stop fixing problems and simply sit with them, listen and hold space. We also talk about disconnection between dads and children, especially as children grow older, become more independent and spend more time online, and how we can tackle this in a way that creates the connections that most dads want and need. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

This special episode of Middle Man marks Mental Health Awareness Week. It covers the story of father and son Steve and Dan Shrigley, who share the deeply personal story of Steve’s severe depression, paranoia and suicidal ideation, which led to him being sectioned and spending six months in hospital. Speaking with remarkable honesty, Steve describes the slow erosion of purpose that came from feeling trapped in corporate life, losing meaning in his work, stepping away from football coaching and adjusting to his children leaving home. Dan reflects on what it was like to watch his dad disappear emotionally, without fully understanding the severity of what was happening at the time. Paul talks to Steve and Dan about why men often struggle not because they cannot talk, but because they lack the right environments for honest conversation. Steve shares how rebuilding his life through self-employment, practical work, vulnerability and helping others has given him a new sense of freedom and energy, while Dan explains how small moments of connection can lead to deeper belonging and renewed purpose. This is an incredibly powerful conversation about depression, fatherhood, retirement, work, friendship and the vital importance of purpose, community and connection in midlife. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Lack of self-esteem, low self-worth and lack of confidence quietly plague many men as they transit through midlife. And this can show up in many different ways, impacting beliefs, behaviours, relationships and more. Often there is no obvious reason for these feelings, making it even harder to deal with. But through self-awareness and a commitment to change, radical transformation is possible. This week Paul talks to Tom Jenkins, the author of the book The Drunk Gambler, about a life shaped by low self-worth, addiction, and ultimately a very personal decision to confront his long-standing feelings and beliefs head on. Tom’s story begins in his early teens, where alcohol and gambling quickly became coping mechanisms for a deeper, unspoken struggle with self-confidence. What followed was a spiral that included drugs, destructive behaviour and profound shame, culminating in a pivotal moment in a Brazilian favela that forced him to confront the reality of his life. Tom opens up about the often-overlooked issues men face, including sexual dysfunction, emotional suppression and the quiet weight of societal expectations around masculinity. His honesty cuts through the usual narratives of resilience, focusing instead on the uncomfortable but necessary work of understanding oneself. We explore the turning point that led Tom to commit to change, the role of environment in shaping behaviour, the long, non-linear journey of rebuilding a life with intention, and what truly drives lasting personal transformation. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Many men hit a stage in midlife when, despite outwardly successful and comfortable lives, they feel a persistent sense of emptiness, drift and disconnection. This deeply familiar yet often unspoken experience of feeling 'stuck' is pervasive and existential, as though life is slipping away without clear direction or meaning. This week Paul talks to Andrew Waddell, a coach for midlife men who says that 'stuckness' is rarely about one single problem. Instead, he says that it is a cyclical emotional pattern, moving from numbness and low energy into frustration, anger and self-doubt, before retreating back into avoidance. Over time, this cycle erodes the very qualities needed to break free, including confidence, creativity and rational thinking. Andrew explains that many men reach a tipping point, either gradually or through a sudden realisation, where their usual coping mechanisms no longer work.  Crucially, recognising the feeling of being 'stuck' is only the beginning; change requires deliberate effort, self-exploration and a willingness to confront underlying beliefs about success, identity and fulfilment. Rather than rushing into solutions, the emphasis is on the importance of slowing down to understand the root causes, whether they stem from societal expectations, lack of validation, compromised values or energy imbalance. From there, progress comes through small, intentional actions, experimentation and reconnecting with personal agency. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Financial planning can be a source of major anxiety among midlife men as they start to turn their attention towards retirement and wondering if they have enough saved. The realities of retirement planning in the UK, including what constitutes a minimal, moderate or comfortable lifestyle and the financial benchmarks associated with each, can be complex and daunting, but with discipline they are often more achievable than people assume. This week Paul talks to financial adviser Lewis Cope, who seeks to reframe how men in midlife should think about financial planning, shifting the focus away from spreadsheets and towards something far more fundamental - the life they actually want to live. Lewis believes that for most people, financial decisions are driven less by mathematics and more by psychology, habits and communication. A simple but often avoided question drives much of this thinking: what do you want your life to look like? Feeding into this come honest discussions about values, priorities and trade-offs. And beyond the numbers, conversations around delayed decisions, lifestyle creep, lack of communication, over-reliance on pensions or property, and major life disruptions such as divorce or redundancy are necessary to plan effectively. Ultimately, this episode is less about money itself and more about control, clarity and intention, and helping people move from vague anxiety about the future to a deliberate, personalised plan for the life they want. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

There's a lot of pressure to hit the gym on a regular basis. And there's no doubt that physical exercise and movement are incredibly important in leading a fit and healthy life. But many men in their 40s and 50s struggle not because they lack knowledge, but because life has shifted. Careers, families and responsibilities push their own wellbeing to the bottom of the list, and the result is weight gain, low energy, declining health markers and a loss of confidence. This week Paul talks to fitness coach and former bodybuilder Andrew Jax, known online as 6 Pack Dad, who specialises in helping midlife men regain control of their health, energy and confidence. Drawing on his own experience as a father of three and decades in the fitness industry, Andrew challenges the conventional belief that diet and exercise alone are the keys to getting in shape. He advocates a holistic approach, one that prioritises sleep, stress management, mindset and sustainable lifestyle habits over rigid training regimes. Paul and Andrew explore the deeper motivations driving men to seek change, from wanting to feel more present with their families to addressing serious health risks. And they look at the importance of identifying a strong personal “why” and making small, practical adjustments rather than completely overhauling life. Andrew argues that consistent exercise, while beneficial, is not essential for fat loss, and that fitness should be reframed as a lifestyle rooted in simplicity, consistency and self-awareness - one that not only improves physical health, but also unlocks greater energy, clarity and purpose in midlife. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Many men struggle to understand, express, or even recognise what they are feeling. They often communicate distress not through words but through behaviour, and sometimes in ways that are self-destructive. Excessive drinking, withdrawing from friendships, over-investing time in work or reckless risk-taking can act as signals that something is wrong internally, and are far from uncommon. This week Paul speaks to acclaimed clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal about the hidden emotional lives of men. He talks about how many men express emotional conflict through action rather than language, and about how these behaviours are often rooted in what he calls 'trauma patterns' - adaptive responses formed in childhood or early life that help individuals cope with difficult environments but may later interfere with intimacy and emotional connection. Stephen explores how social expectations of masculinity shape men’s emotional lives, and how there can be a disconnect between what men feel and what they are able to articulate. And he highlights the importance of self-awareness and reflection. But rather than simply encouraging men to 'express their feelings, he argues that the real work lies in developing a language for inner experience and understanding the emotional signals beneath behaviours, and that a willingness to examine one’s inner life is among the most powerful foundations for long-term wellbeing. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Childhood adversity can have a lasting impact. When trauma, instability or loss are experienced at a young age, they can shape how a person sees themselves and the world for decades, resulting in emotional suppression, hyper-independence, people-pleasing or self-sabotage. But adversity does not have to become destiny. This week Paul talks to Leon Smith about his long journey from a traumatic childhood to redemption in midlife. At 11 years old, Leon watched his mother undergo life-threatening surgery for a tumour wrapped around her spinal cord. While he was still trying to process that trauma, his absent father was murdered. The combined weight of grief, shock and emotional suppression left him shattered. He describes years of “blackness”, drifting through adolescence and adulthood alike in survival mode, numbing himself through nightlife, work and distraction. But many years later, after some NHS counselling, Leon experienced what he calls a “therapeutic epiphany” - a moment of clarity in which he recognised his patterns and realised he could choose differently. That insight sparked dramatic change. He returned to university, built a successful decade-long career in television, and eventually felt called to retrain as a counsellor and psychotherapist. Leon's truly inspirational story is a testament to the fact that no matter how broken you feel, change is possible and hope is real. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

On 4th February, my mum died. She was 80 years old and had lived with Alzheimer's dementia for seven years. Her passing follows the death of my dad less than three years ago after a long battle with a degenerative condition related to Parkinson's. The grief and sadness I have felt have been intertwined with relief, guilt and shame, and so this week I talk to psychotherapist Bill Sullivan to try and make sense of the grief of parental loss. This is not a polished conversation about grief, but a raw and honest exploration of what loss actually feels like in midlife. I talk openly about the complexity of the emotions I have been feeling now that years of caregiving responsibility have come to an end, and I ask questions about whether my grief response is 'normal'. We unpack anticipatory grief, caregiver fatigue, the dual process of loss and restoration and how we oscillate between practical functioning and emotional overwhelm. We explore what it means to lose not just a parent, but the sense of safety and structure that having living parents provides, even in adulthood. And we challenge cultural expectations around how men 'should' grieve. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

There's a lot of misunderstanding around sex in midlife. The commonly held belief is that libido wanes due largely to hormonal changes, but this narrative is not only simplistic but also damaging. Coupled with the media focus on young people when it comes to sex, it creates an impression that people in midlife don't somehow deserve to feel vibrant and to have sexual desire. And that in turn can lead to a lack of intimacy and unhappiness, and can damage otherwise healthy relationships. This week Paul is joined by sex educator and coach Ruth Ramsay for an open and deeply honest conversation about what really happens to desire, intimacy and connection in midlife. Ruth shares her unconventional journey from journalist and striptease artist to sex coach, and speaks candidly about the emotional meaning of sex for men - that of not just physical release, but feeling wanted, seen and connected. Ruth discusses now desire is far more closely linked to how we feel about our bodies, our right to be sexual, and the quality of communication within our relationships than simply hormones, and explores how stress, shame, body image, exhaustion and resentment can quietly shut down desire. She also talks about why long-term couples often drift into sexless patterns, and how misunderstanding can create painful distance. Ruth reframes midlife not as sexual decline but as potential transformation and, at its heart, this episode is about vulnerability, communication and rediscovering intimacy. And proving that midlife can be the beginning of the most connected sex of your life. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Comparison can be a paralysing trap that it's very hard to break free from. Clouded in a mindset of self-doubt, nothing ever feels enough, no matter what you achieve or how outwardly successful you appear. Comparison slowly erodes self-worth and leads to a life full of unsatisfaction that comes to a head in midlife. This week Paul is joined by Graham Wood for a remarkably candid and open conversation about a lifetime of anxiety, self-doubt and relentless comparison. Graham reflects on how an experience in childhood shaped his sense of self-worth, planting patterns of insecurity that followed him into adulthood. Despite a strong career, a long marriage, financial stability and raising twin teenagers, he describes living with persistent anxiety, low mood and insomnia due to deeply ingrained patterns of thinking. The episode explores how midlife can intensify long-standing mental health challenges, and Graham talks openly about job loss, career uncertainty in his 50s, worries about retirement, and the mental toll of constant rumination about past decisions and future fears. He also shares his experiences with therapy, antidepressants, self-help books, mindfulness, gratitude practices and the ongoing search for a “magic bullet” that never quite arrives. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Some of the most common feelings that men report experiencing during midlife are being stuck and lost, or being overwhelmed and 'running on empty'. Having spent decades putting others first, they run into problems when life switches up and they find they are low on energy and drive, without any idea how to address this This week Paul is joined by transformation coach and psychologist Fiona Maguire for a wide-ranging, candid and spiritual conversation about burnout, identity, intuition and what it really means to feel stuck in midlife. Fiona explores why so many people, particularly men, feel drained, disconnected and trapped in repetitive routines. She argues that burnout is often less about external pressures and more about losing touch with our inner guidance, or what she calls the “higher self”. When we live on autopilot, identified solely with our roles, responsibilities and circumstances, we disconnect from the deeper intelligence that fuels energy, purpose and joy. Drawing on her own near-death experience and a period of profound physical and emotional collapse, Fiona shares how losing her sense of identity forced her to confront the stories she had unconsciously built about herself. That breakdown, she explains, became a gateway to a deeper understanding of self-limitation, trauma responses and emotional regulation. This episode is a personal, thoughtful and compassionate exploration of why midlife can feel so heavy, and how reconnecting inwardly can help us reclaim calm, motivation and a more fulfilled way of living.

Goal setting as a motivational strategy is very en vogue. Especially at the start of a new year. But the problem with goals is that they encourage you to seek a specific and defined destination, and that it's very easy to be knocked off course by setbacks. Progress is rarely linear. So instead of setting goals, what about defining clear intentions as a compass for how we want to live, show up, and feel? This week Paul is joined by men's coach Daniel Glyde to discuss intentions, resilience and navigating the inevitable setbacks of midlife. Dan challenges the idea of rigid goal-setting, and encourages men to focus on direction, values and energy rather than chasing destinations. He believes in setting intentions without expectations, and allowing clarity to emerge through action, and he also pushes the idea that what we are really chasing is not money, status or achievement, but ways of feeling: freedom, connection, contentment and purpose. The conversation explores how intentions differ from goals and why flexibility matters, and also dives into the reality of setbacks - from personal loss to long periods of feeling stuck - and why resilience is not about 'pushing through', but about learning how to respond rather than react. If you're someone who is struggling with direction in midlife, takes setbacks hard or who is looking for a more intentional way to approach the next chapter, this is a thoughtful and grounded episode for you. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast

Have you ever uttered the words "I’m fine" in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do. This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and explores why so many men default to the phrase “I’m fine" even when they’re anything but. I'm joined by a panel of men working across male mental health, coaching and therapy: founder of ReachUs Jamie Humphrey; wellbeing coach and keynote speaker Andrew Pain; men's coach Dan Glyde; Dr Ed Rainbow; and therapist Olumide Ajulo. Across the discussion, the group dismantles the long-held cultural scripts that keep men silent: the Man Code, fear of shame, rigid expectations to be providers and protectors, and generations of conditioning that equate vulnerability with weakness. We talk openly about false bravado, emotional suppression, and the psychological strain of performing versions of ourselves that don’t match who we really are. We also examine the subtle ways men distance themselves from support, and explore the power of community, reciprocity, and shoulder-to-shoulder conversation, as well as the importance of therapy, self-reflection and learning emotional language. Ultimately, the episode is an invitation for men to start talking differently - with friends, partners and themselves. It’s a reminder that opening up doesn’t diminish masculinity; it broadens it. And that the simple act of not saying “I’m fine” could be the first step toward real connection and healing. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I've had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act? In today's episode, I talk honestly about what has been happening behind the scenes. I explain how what started as a planned summer break turned into something more serious: a relapse in mindset. And I reflect on how months of business decline, disrupted family life, financial pressure and health concerns slowly accumulated to pull me back into the feelings that first triggered Middle Man - overwhelm, self-doubt, loss of joy, and the sense of failing the people I love. I'm joined by fellow midlife podcaster Simon Burgess for an extremely frank and unfiltered exploration of the emotional realities many men experience but seldom articulate. We discuss the exhaustion of waking each day feeling empty, the constant mental noise, the fear of an uncertain future, and the guilt of feeling like you’re not enough for your family. The episode features a deeply personal, raw, bluntly honest and hopefully compassionate conversation for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or simply human. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I've learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health and self-worth, retirement, and building a more intentional life. During the conversation I share how far I've come, from feeling lost and apathetic to having a renewed sense of direction and purpose, thanks in part to the podcast itself and to coaching, and in part to simple daily habits like cold water immersion and journaling. We discuss the surprising emotional impact the podcast has had, listener feedback, and how talking openly has deepened our relationship. But I also open up about setbacks, especially around self-doubt and the challenge of building Middle Man into something bigger - an essential resource hub for men in midlife. The episode is honest, vulnerable and full of insight not just for men navigating their own midlife reset, but also for their partners. If you’ve ever questioned what’s next or how to regain your spark, this conversation is packed with reflections and tools to help. --------------- If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of joy. This week Paul is joined by Darren Lawrence, a coach and consultant to men who recently conducted a study called Understanding Men in Midlife that looks at what challenges midlife men face and what the hidden realities of male midlife are. They discuss the key findings from Darren’s research, including that 78% of men believe more support is needed, while over a quarter are either just surviving or feeling completely overwhelmed. Friendship loss and low energy top the list of concerns, yet many don’t know where to turn. Reflecting on his own experiences with redundancy, divorce and career reinvention, Darren opens up about how these events sparked his passion for helping other men navigate similar transitions. He also challenges the myth that ‘men don’t talk’, and calls for better awareness of how we support midlife wellbeing in families, workplaces, and communities. --------------- You can connect with Darren on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly losing touch with their identity. This week Paul is joined by Paul Marsh who, after 30 years of suffering a profound sense of purposelessness, is determined to make changes. Feeling trapped and isolated, he battled poor mental health for years, eventually leaving a relationship that wasn’t working and following a lifelong passion to try and establish himself as an artist. In a deeply personal conversation, Paul tells the story of how what began as a small, private escape became a vital source of self-expression, mental healing, and ultimately, professional ambition. He speaks candidly about the financial and emotional challenges of midlife change, the gender dynamics of the art world, and why he believes creativity is a vital outlet for men who struggle to articulate their emotions. Paul’s journey offers insight, inspiration and hope for anyone ready to rewrite their own story. --------------- You can connect with Paul on Instagram at @pfmarsh. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

There has been a huge rise in the number of autism and ADHD diagnoses over the last two decades. And while many midlife men have spent years being treated for anxiety or depression without ever understanding the root cause, there could be a link between their mental health struggles and undiagnosed neurodiversity. This week Paul is joined by Dr Martin Brunet, author of the book Your Worry Makes Sense, to explore the hidden mental health struggles faced by midlife men and how neurodivergent conditions like autism and ADHD often go unrecognised in men in their 40s and 50s. Cultural and generational factors have led to underdiagnosis, but greater awareness today is helping men make sense of lifelong challenges. Martin discusses how understanding your own mental health and potential neurodiversity can lead to more compassionate self-management and a more sustainable lifestyle. The conversation also highlights the unique pressures midlife men face: career responsibility, caregiving roles, and the tendency to ‘push on’ rather than ask for help. And Martin’s message is clear: education is empowerment, and understanding your own mental landscape could be the first step to a more balanced, fulfilling life. --------------- You can follow Martin on Instagram and buy Your Worry Makes Sense on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Menopause exploded into the public consciousness a few years ago thanks largely to the book Menopausing by Davina McCall and Dr Naomi Potter. While a woman’s experience of menopause is deeply personal, it also touches the men around them - partners, colleagues, friends, and family. This week Paul is joined by co-author of Menopausing and founder of the UK’s leading menopause clinic, Dr Potter. Through the lens of the people who love the women going through it, they explore the realities of menopause and perimenopause in an attempt to gain a better understanding of their impact. Naomi explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, highlighting the chaotic hormone fluctuations, the 70+ symptoms women may face, and the mental toll it can take, including loss of identity, confidence, and energy.  The conversation delves into the stigma and misdiagnosis still surrounding menopause, and Naomi discusses how awareness is growing and encourages men to educate themselves, listen with empathy, and avoid personalising the emotional and behavioural changes they might witness. This episode is a must-listen for any man wanting to better support the women in his life and for anyone curious about the emotional, physical, and relational impacts of menopause. --------------- You can follow Naomi on Instagram and buy Menopausing on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Coping mechanisms can take many forms for midlife men, from drinking a bit too much to isolating oneself to overworking to emotional eating. Self harm can be at the more extreme end of the scale, but it is not uncommon for a man experiencing burnout, anxiety or depression to use this as a way of getting through life. This week Paul is joined by David Salmon for a deeply personal and raw conversation. David has been though a number of traumatic life events in recent years, and opens up about confronting in midlife a deep-rooted coping mechanism that no longer served him. He describes the challenges that have shadowed him since his teenage years and culminated in a crisis during the pandemic. Through therapy, self-reflection, and supportive relationships, David has gradually learned to understand his mental health, identifying patterns of self-criticism, stress responses, and the shame that often keeps men suffering in silence. He speaks candidly about the emotional toll of being a people pleaser in high-pressure work environments, the loneliness of modern male life, and the importance of creating space for meaning and connection beyond career achievements. If you or anyone around you is affected by this episode, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'SHOUT' to 85258. --------------- You can connect with David on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

The divorce rate among men in their 40s is the highest of any age group, remaining stubbornly high at a time when the overall rate of divorce is falling. At a time when several other areas of life can be challenging, the failure of a marriage in midlife can have a devastating impact.  This week Paul talks to Sara Davison, AKA The Divorce Coach, about why so many midlife marriages falter and how to regain momentum when they do. She describes the emotional paralysis many feel post-divorce, and explains how divorce in midlife isn’t just a legal process; it’s an emotional, financial, and identity-shattering event. Sara also shares her very personal journey from the trauma of a blindsiding breakup to becoming one of the UK’s most respected breakup and divorce coaches. Drawing on her own devastating experience and years of coaching, she explores factors such as unspoken resentments, poor communication, and simply growing apart. Sara also explains how men and women experience and process divorce differently, why midlife can be a period of profound self-reassessment, and how rebuilding a sense of purpose is essential. If you’re facing the end of a relationship or navigating the emotional aftermath, this episode is filled with compassionate insight, practical advice on regaining momentum, and the power of clarity to help you take back control of your life. --------------- You can find out more about Sara's work at saradavison.com or follow her on Instagram at @saradavisondivorcecoach If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Losing your job in midlife can be take a significant emotional and psychological toll. From guilt, shame and loss of identity, redundancy is often accompanied by a messy and non-linear form of grief. Making space for that pain is a vital part of recovery, but once you have acknowledged that it is time to start to embrace possibility. This week Paul talks to career change coach and the author of the book Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, Eleanor Twedell. She believes that in your darkest hour, you can begin to shape a life that’s more aligned, meaningful, and entirely your own. As such, she says that job loss can actually lead to empowerment and growth. Eleanor shares her deeply personal story of being made redundant at 40 during a time of immense personal upheaval. She also shares practical models to help others move forward. These range from identifying immediate needs v long-term wants, to choosing whether to stick, twist, or completely reinvent. For some, redundancy is a gateway to freedom, courage, and purpose. For others, it’s a route back into their careers - wiser, clearer, and on their own terms. --------------- You can find buy Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You on Amazon, and connect with Eleanor on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Many people fall into careers that are not necessarily of their own design, only to wake up two decades later feeling unfulfilled, stressed and miserable. And yet a career change in midlife seems daunting and impractical, and surrounded by potential problems that can seem insurmountable. This week Paul talks to Guido Regazzoni who, after finding himself struggling with stress, insomnia, antidepressants, and an overwhelming sense of dread about work, was made redundant. But after a period of reflection, rather than diving back into the high-pressure office politics that had been taking such a toll on his mental health and family life, he chose to reinvent himself. Guido shares the story of how this new chapter has not only improved his wellbeing, but also given him a renewed sense of purpose. He offers candid insight into the emotional and psychological shifts needed to break free from the ‘zombie state’ of an unfulfilling career and take a leap into something new, even at 49. His story is a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to reclaim your future and design a more joyful, meaningful life. --------------- You can find out about Guido's fitness studio at emsfitness.io If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

The concept of purpose can be confusing and overplayed in some quarters, with much of the talk around this implying life missions that few can identify. But with questions like “is this it?” and “why am I here?” plaguing many midlife men, there can be little doubt that a sense of purpose is important if we want to thrive in the second half of life. This week Paul talks to keynote speaker and bestselling author David McNally to explore purpose not as a grand, elusive mission but as a series of meaningful contributions to family, community, and workplace. David believes that contributing to those around you can be just as meaningful as trying to tap into a passion that you may not understand or have, and that purpose should be reframed. He also draws a vital distinction between merely surviving and flourishing, arguing that true fulfilment comes from aligning your talents and values with how you serve others. The discussion delves into comparison culture, self-acceptance, shifting perspectives in midlife, and the importance of avoiding cynicism, and David also shares his personal journey, from early entrepreneurial success and sudden burnout in his 30s, to discovering a deeper sense of meaning. This episode is rich with practical insights for anyone questioning their direction in midlife. Whether you’re feeling stuck or simply seeking more joy, this conversation offers encouragement to pause, reflect, and reimagine your next chapter. --------------- You can find out about 'Mark of an Eagle - How Your Life Changes the World' and David's other books on his website. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Testosterone levels in men typically decrease by 1% to 2% annually from age 30, and in midlife can fall below optimum. In fact, the average 22 year old today has lower testosterone than the average 70 year old had just 50 years ago. In an estimated 40% of men, this can lead to symptoms including low energy, brain fog, loss of motivation, emotional flatness and reduced libido. This week Paul talks to James Davis, the author of The Midlife Male Handbook, which takes a holistic view of transitioning through andropause. Drawing from his background in psychology and personal experience, James discusses how he naturally boosted his testosterone without turning to testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), and talks about the impact of elements such as diet, exercise, stress management, sleep, and the often-overlooked psychological tools that can restore vitality and self-worth during midlife. James also unpacks the societal stigma around male hormones, the lack of medical awareness about andropause, and how men often suffer in silence due to outdated ideas of masculinity. The conversation highlights why midlife is a critical turning point - not a crisis - and how embracing this phase can lead to a more fulfilling second act. This episode is a must-listen for any man in his 40s or 50s questioning his energy, purpose or direction and dismissing these questions as ‘just ageing’. It provides a better understanding of hormones, mindset, and how small, sustainable changes can have a huge impact on wellbeing. --------------- You can buy The Midlife Male Handbook on Amazon and follow @midlifementors on Instagram If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

The gradual ageing and then passing away of our parents is inevitable during midlife. But navigating the grief and the emotional turmoil that comes with the death of our fathers is incredibly complex. It can be the catalyst for many profound male midlife experiences, including both reflection and transformation. This week’s show features a deeply personal, raw and honest conversation between Paul and Ben Veal about grief, burnout, fatherhood and midlife identity. Bonded by the shared experience of losing their fathers in 2023, Ben and Paul talk about loss, resilience and rediscovery. Ben opens up about the impact of losing his dad, the emotional weight of stepping into the role of “the oldest male” in his family, and how this life-altering loss has shifted his perspective from chasing professional accolades to focusing on purpose, health, and legacy. He discusses the toll of running a small business during an economic downturn, raising two neurodivergent children, and juggling multiple creative ventures, and reflects on using creativity as a coping mechanism. This moving episode is about the emotional realities of middle age and what it really means to grow into the next phase of life with intention. --------------- You can connect with Ben on LinkedIn and buy "From Badd to Good: The Inspiring Story of a Wrestling Wildman" on Amazon If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

It is often repeated that ‘men don’t talk’ and that, if they did, there would not be a mental health crisis among midlife men. Luke Ambler established ANDYSMANCLUB in 2016 following the tragic loss of his brother-in-law to suicide. Recognising the urgent need for safe spaces where men could open up without judgment, he started a small support group that has since grown into a network of hundreds of clubs across the UK, helping thousands of men each week. In this powerful and raw episode of Middle Man, Paul talks to Luke about his deeply personal journey, from experiencing his own mental health struggles to creating a national movement that encourages men to open up and seek support. Together they challenge the myth that men don’t talk, arguing that they just need the right environment to feel safe and supported, and discuss why the phrase "it's OK not to be OK" is dangerous. Luke explores the stigma around male vulnerability and discusses the importance of accountability. His no-nonsense approach cuts through the social media noise on this topic, and he offers practical advice on resilience, self-care, and taking ownership of your mental wellbeing. If you or someone you know is struggling, this is a must-listen. This episode is also part of Podcastathon, a global charitable initiative where podcasters around the world dedicate one episode of their show to a charity of their choice. Over 1500 shows are releasing special episodes simultaneously to raise awareness for those causes. --------------- You can find your local group at www.andysmanclub.co.uk. If you have been affected by the themes discussed in this show, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'shout' to 85258. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy ourselves. Not realising that that impact of doing something that doesn’t fulfil you for two decades is incredibly detrimental to your health and wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Ken Valledy, who works with midlife men to explore the possibilities of entrepreneurship and to help them break free of the constraints of lifelong careers that they don’t enjoy. Ken believes that if you’re someone who’s reached a stage in your life where you want more from the time you spend at work, it’s within your power to do something about that, no matter whether you’re a corporate high flyer or a painter and decorator. While there’s an awful lot to be said for pivoting career in midlife, there are also practical implications, mostly around money. But Ken challenges the notion that people must endure careers they no longer enjoy because of finances, and argues that alternative paths, such as side hustles or starting a business, are within reach for many to find fulfillment. He debunks some of the myths surrounding entrepreneurship, and introduces a practical approach designed to help individuals take small, manageable steps toward career independence. If you’re fed up in your job but feel powerless to do anything about it, this episode will prove to you that there’s more to life than waiting for retirement. --------------- You can contact Ken on LinkedIn and buy The Startup Lexicon on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant in some men. Ross Tomkins is the co-founder of Alphagenix, which offers medically supervised testosterone replacement therapy. He founded the company to help men following his own experiences within both the NHS and private practice. He believes that not only are many men misdiagnosed with depression rather than low testosterone, but that most GPs have not even heard of the andropause.  This week Paul talks to Ross about how low testosterone typically manifests and what the impact can be on men’s mental and physical health. Ross shares his personal journey of struggling with low testosterone, being dismissed by multiple doctors, and ultimately finding answers through testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He discusses why men are often prescribed antidepressants instead of addressing underlying hormonal imbalances. The conversation explores the stigma around low testosterone, the reluctance of men to seek help, and how lifestyle factors like diet, sleep, and exercise can naturally boost hormone levels before considering TRT. Ross also highlights the potential long-term implications of declining testosterone levels, including its links to midlife crises and even male suicide rates. If you feel like you’ve lost your drive, energy or motivation, this episode provides crucial insights into why that might be, and what you can do about it. --------------- You can find out more about testosterone replacement therapy at www.alphagenix.co.uk and contact Ross on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to fine yourself feeling overwhelmed, disconnected and lost. This week Paul talks to Paul Flynn who, after a number of big life changes in his late 30s and early 40s, found himself feeling isolated, unfulfilled and longing for his former lifestyle. But then he discovered outdoor swimming and the trajectory of his life changed radically. What started as a solo pursuit led to the creation of a new wild swimming club and a community offering midlife men the opportunity to reconnect with themselves, nature, and each other. Paul shares how swimming in icy waters became a game-changer for his mental wellbeing, reigniting his sense of adventure, forging new friendships and creating a new career path. And he talks about the importance of saying “yes” to new experiences and the small but powerful steps that can shift midlife from a crisis to a new beginning. --------------- You can find out more about the Blue Bloods Wild Swim Club on Facebook. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

Cold water immersion has gained a reputation over the last few years as a bit of a cure-all for both physical and mental wellbeing, whether that’s wild swimming or a plunge pool or cold showers. But what does the science actually say?  This week Paul talks to Dr Heather Massey, an environmental physiology researcher at the University of Portsmouth and a passionate outdoor swimmer. Heather brings both academic expertise and personal experience to the topic, exploring how exposure to cold water affects the body and the mind. She explains the cold shock response and what this does to the body physiologically, and talks about the limited studies that have been done to investigate the potential link between cold exposure and mental health. She also shares insights from her current clinical trials investigating such effects and discusses whether the benefits are likely to come from the water itself or the sense of accomplishment that follows immersion. Whether you're a sceptic, a seasoned cold water swimmer, or just curious about the trend, this episode provides an informed and balanced perspective on the potential benefits and risks of cold water immersion. --------------- You can find out more about The OUTdoor Swimming as a nature-based Intervention for DEpression (OUTSIDE) study at outside2.co.uk If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

When it comes to therapy, men are reluctant to seek help. Most will only turn to psychotherapy when they hit crisis point, and even many of those who do seek out help will only do so because they’ve been given an ultimatum by their partner.  This week Paul talks to Bill Sullivan, a psychotherapist who does a lot of work with middle aged men, about how therapy could and should support people navigating the challenges of midlife. Bill explains the emotional avoidance that has shaped generations and, within that context, why societal expectations means that many men hesitate to seek help when they need it. He shares insights into how therapy helps men identify and process emotions, break patterns of low self-esteem, and develop healthier coping strategies. And we dive into the challenges of perceived success, where men who seem to have it all (careers, families, financial stability) still feel lost or unfulfilled.  We also discuss the differences between therapy and coaching, and how therapy focuses on emotions and uncovering the root causes of struggles. If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy could benefit you, this show will give you the answer. --------------- Connect with Bill on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-therapy-last-resort

Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical effects. David Robson is the author of the book Laws of Connection, which explores why social connection matters even more than we thought, and how to build better relationships and improve our lives. This week, Paul talks to David about the science of human connection, why so many people, men in particular, struggle to form deep friendships, and how societal norms contribute to this. David explains key psychological concepts from his book including creating shared realities and the liking gap, which causes people to underestimate how much others like them. He also discusses prioritising honesty over kindness to form deeper, more meaningful relationships. For anyone feeling disconnected or unsure how to deepen their social bonds, David offers actionable insights and practical strategies grounded in psychology to overcome social anxiety, build confidence in social situations and foster stronger relationships. --------------- Buy the book Laws of Connection on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-loneliness

Sleep is something that it’s incredibly important we pay close attention to for our physical health and mental wellbeing. Or so we are led to believe by the media. But acclaimed sleep physiologist Stephanie Romiszewski has a different take on this. She says that we have to stop worrying about sleep, as this is doing more harm than good. Stephanie is the founder of Sleepy Head Clinic and has a course on the BBC called Better Sleep, and this week Paul talks to her about sleep in midlife. We discuss how it changes as we age, and what we should be doing - and not doing - to ensure our sleep patterns are natural and restorative without becoming a focus for our lives. We talk about why consistent wake-up times are more important than rigid bedtimes, how to manage poor sleep without spiraling into frustration, and the science behind light exposure in regulating our body clocks. Stephanie also explains why popular sleep aids and strict ‘sleep hygiene’ routines might not be as effective as they seem. She also highlights the importance of understanding sleep systems, like your sleep drive and circadian rhythm, and offers strategies to rest better without creating unhealthy habits. Whether you’re a lifelong insomniac or someone looking to optimise your overall wellbeing, Stephanie’s practical, science-back advice will bust some common myths, improve your sleep habits and change the way you think about sleep forever. --------------- Find out more about Stephanie’s personalised sleep support at www.sleepyheadclinic.co.uk or check out her online course at www.re-sleep.com If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-sleep

There is an overwhelming amount of content out there about what we should eat and how we should eat it. A lot of it is confusing and contradictory, and most of us simply want down-to-earth, practical advice that we can use every day to help us live healthier and longer lives. Dr Federica Amati is a medical scientist and nutritionist, and the author of the book Every Body Should Know This. The book approaches nutrition and diet from a life-stage perspective, outlining how our body's requirements change as we age. And it provides an easy to follow blueprint on how and what to eat in midlife and beyond. Fede believes that making even small, sustainable changes can drastically transform both quality and length of life. In today’s show, she talks to Paul about how critical nutrition is in preventing an early death from chronic diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and colorectal cancer, and she also debunks common misconceptions about specific dietary plans. Fede shares practical tips on adopting healthier food habits into your lifestyle, and talks about the foods that we really need to eat and to avoid for longevity and vitality.  If you’re looking to improve your energy levels, manage midlife health risks, or simply learn how to make better food choices, Fede’s down-to-earth advice is exactly what you need. --------------- Follow Fede on Instagram at @dr.fede.amati If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-nutrition

Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. They enjoy the perceived social benefits and the escapism it offers, but are also very aware that what they’re doing is little more than masking stress or anxiety. This week Paul talks to William Porter, author of the book Alcohol Explained, to explore the profound effects that alcohol has on our bodies, minds, and lives. William believes in self-knowledge and his approach is very much one of education, offering a fresh perspective on why alcohol often exacerbates the very issues people use it to address. He talks about the physical and psychological dependencies associated with drinking, the significant impact of alcohol on sleep, and how even moderate drinking can affect energy levels, anxiety, and overall mental health. And he explains how shifting your mindset and analysing your habits can lead to lasting change. William also candidly shares his personal journey of giving up alcohol over a decade ago, delving into the challenges, insights, and life changes that followed. For anyone considering reducing their alcohol intake, whether as a casual drinker taking part in Dry January or someone looking to quit for good, this episode provides non-judgemental and thoughtful insights, practical advice, and encouragement. --------------- Read the first five chapters of Alcohol Explained for free at www.alcoholexplained.com If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-alcohol-dependence

Wellbeing, both physical and mental, comes into sharp focus in midlife. We want to know more and we want do more. But the sheer volume and variety of advice out there can be overwhelming. Sally Gunnell, former Olympic gold medallist turned health and wellbeing advocate knows more than most about physical and mental fitness. And in this week’s show, she shares her insights and practical advice into how to enhance physical and mental wellbeing in midlife, and maintain it as we age. Sally believes in small but consistent habits that create lasting impact, and is a big advocate of building activities into your everyday life and incorporating movement into daily routines. We talk about the impact of a variety of physical and mental practices, including the importance of building muscle strength, the significance of cardio for cardiovascular health, the role of nutrition, breathwork and sleep We explore some common misconceptions around exercise, while Sally shares per personal experiences with stress management and moving from being a top class athlete into the challenges of midlife.  If you’re a midlifer with a busy work and/or family life, Sally’s practical and down-to-earth advice is exactly what you’ve been waiting for to take control of your wellbeing journey. --------------- Find out more about Sally's corporate wellbeing services at www.sallygunnell.com If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-wellbeing-sally-gunnell

When Middle Man was conceived earlier this year it was with a hunch that if I felt the way I did in midlife, then other men must be feeling the same way. Little did I know that quite so many men were feeling quite so disconnected, frustrated and alone. This week’s episode provides some tips on using the holiday season to put yourself in the best possible place for positive change in 2025, and it also revisits those first couple of episodes to look at how things have progressed since then, both for me and for Middle Man’s listeners. I’m sharing a little more about the ups and downs of my own journey out of the midlife funk I talked about back in the summer. And I’m re-introducing three guests who have featured on the show before: Andrew Waddell, Daniel Glyde and Nick Edgar. Each offers advice for using the holiday period to set positive goals for next year, providing valuable strategies, from writing a future self letter to engaging in physical activity and having meaningful conversations. If you’ve found Middle Man insightful or interesting or helpful, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-reflection-rest-rediscovery I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Shifting dynamics around masculinity have meant that it has come under fire in recent years, largely due to the unrepresentative viewpoints of an extremely vocal minority of outspoken public figures. But there are also those out there seeking to redefine modern masculinity in positive terms and to help men to navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and accountability. Tom Stroud appeared on the Netflix show ‘Love is Blind UK’ in the summer, and has since chosen to use the platform he’s been given to challenge perceptions of modern masculinity rather than pursuing brand deals. This week Paul talks candidly to Tom about his personal journey, including the impact of his childhood and recent spells of introspection, and about why he feels a passion for helping men to improve their relationships and their mental health. Tom shares insights into the challenges men face in embracing vulnerability and self-awareness, highlighting the importance of redefining traditional gender roles and expectations. And he emphasises the importance of men understanding themselves and their roles, advocating for a balanced approach to gender equality. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-tom-stroud I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com If you enjoy this episode you can support the podcast by buying me a coffee at Ko-Fi

Many men report feeling ‘stuck’ in midlife. Trapped in their lives, no matter how ‘successful’ they may be, with no idea how to change their circumstances and lead lives that are more rewarding and fulfilling. But by exploring emotions, behaviours and values with curiosity rather than judgement, things can change fast. This week Paul talks to Nick Edgar about self leadership, and about the value of self awareness and emotional agility. While the path to self-leadership may seem at first to be a somewhat alien concept and therefore, feel daunting, meaningful change begins with small, consistent steps toward curiosity and compassion, rather than huge life changes. Offering a roadmap for men seeking to reclaim their identity, purpose, and fulfilment, Nick also introduces the concept of self-soothing behaviours, and discusses how to identify these patterns and understand their root causes. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-self-leadership I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis. This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of shame and about how and why it may negatively impact men in midlife. Rob explains how shame contributes heavily to the feeling of unworthiness that many midlife men report, resulting in an emotional crisis of behaviour and mental wellbeing. Shame plays a central role in shaping our behaviours, relationships, and sense of worth, and left uncontained, the self judgement and criticism that can result from this can be extremely harmful. The need to understand and address shame to mitigate its impact on mental health and behaviour is therefore incredibly important. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-shame-midlife-crisis I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, who shares his journey of rediscovering purpose and meaning while navigating self-doubt, and explains how speaking with others on his podcast has broadened his understanding of what it means to embrace change. Simon reflects on how conversations with others have highlighted common themes, including the role of intuition, self-awareness, and the courage to make transformative life changes. He talks about how these individuals have often found meaning by stepping beyond self-limiting beliefs and embracing uncertainty but how, for him, the process of change is ongoing and challenging. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-simon-burgess I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Long-term exposure to chronic stress can reduce life expectancy by anything from two to twenty years. It is estimated that one in nine UK adults feels stressed every single day, while three-quarters have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope at some point in the past year. This week Paul talks to stress expert Katie Maycock about the harsh realities of burnout and the impact it can have on the physical and mental health of midlife men. Katie takes Paul through the six stages of burnout, revealing how seemingly small behaviours can escalate rapidly from heightened productivity to full physical, mental and emotional shutdown. As well as sharing her own uniquely personal experiences, Katie also shares her proven three-pillar approach to building resilience and, for those beginning to feel the weight of burnout, Katie provides practical tips for daily self-awareness and simple, impactful routines to break the cycle before it escalates. This is a must-listen show for anyone seeking actionable strategies to manage stress, boost resilience, and improve overall wellbeing. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-stress-anxiety-burnout I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Many midlife men struggle with emotional pressures, feeling frustrated, lonely, stressed and lost. And they often feel unheard, reluctant or unable to speak up for fear of ridicule or rejection. But when it comes to self-help, there is a question that looms large: is there a lack of information for midlife men, or is it that they’re not interested in accessing it? In a bid to answer this discussion, Alice Kearney conducted research into what resources are available for midlife men and into what men’s feelings are about the topic. The results seemed to highlight that there’s a lack of interest in seeking help until such point as there is no other option. This is in contrast to women, who actively seek support. The research also highlighted a lack of midlife role models for men, a dearth of online communities despite an apparent willingness to embrace these, and the need for more information and support tailored to midlife men. Could it be that addressing this gap could help men better navigate midlife challenges before they reach breaking point? You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-why-men-help-themselves I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

A couple of years ago a trend called ‘the soft life’ started to emerge on the internet. But unlike most other internet trends, this one has particular relevance to midlife men, focusing as it does on emotional wellbeing and self-care. A strong advocate for the soft life is Dr Sarah Nicholls, an A&E doctor, burnout coach and YouTuber who embraced this way of living after experiencing her own spell of burnout. This week Paul talks to Sarah about living a life that reduces stress and instead priorities mental wellbeing, ease and personal fulfilment.  Sarah explains how adopting a soft life helped her manage anxiety and insomnia, and allows her to navigate stressful situations more calmly and productively. She talks about the value of making time for oneself and practising self-compassion, and about how adopting small daily habits can make a significant difference over time.  The conversation also addresses the need to recognise and address chronic stress, which can lead to a loss of identity and joy. And it discusses how living a soft life is about making mindful decisions to create a more balanced, joyful, and fulfilling existence. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-soft-life I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Adam Cranfield is typical of many midlife men in that he’s gone through most of the life events that society expects of a 48 year old man, such as marriage, children and jobs, but not without a growing sense of unease. Not least of this is the way that creating and maintaining meaningful connections has become much more of a challenge than it should be. This week Paul and Adam discuss the stereotypical male focus on needing an activity to bond, and why men struggle to organise and sustain deep relationships compared to women, who are generally better at maintaining social networks. Adam also talks about his own view of the workplace and about how workplace pressures and societal expectations can lead men to feel disconnected from their true selves, and about his role as a father in guiding his children to be more open. And he shares his experiences with therapy, both the benefits in navigating depression but also the drawbacks compared to the mutual support found in friendships. The conversation highlights the differences in how men and women form connections and the potential for men to learn from women’s openness and social dynamics. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-adam-cranfield I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

Poor mental health among men is a common and complex issue. It has many causes and, arguably, a serious lack of positive practical action to solve. But things are starting to change, albeit slowly, and there are some calling for society to support men's mental health more effectively. One such person is Katie Goodrum, founder of men’s underwear brand And Then. This week Paul talks to Katie about her mission, inspired by her partner's struggle during a long divorce, to encourage men to become the best versions of themselves and to break the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. The show explores the unique challenges men face, such as the pressure to conform to outdated stereotypes, the lack of support during crises, and the societal expectation to suppress emotions. It also discusses the struggles of modern parenthood and how to raise boys to be emotionally open and empathetic, despite the pressures to appear ‘tough.’ And it unpacks the importance of creating spaces for men to communicate and the need for society to normalise discussions around mental health. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-mens-mental-health I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com