Mindfully Gay Podcast

Send us Fan MailAre We Going Backward? Queer Resilience in a Time of Backlash  Airs September 4, 2026 on The Mindfully Gay PodcastAre LGBTQ+ rights moving backward?After decades of progress toward marriage equality, LGBTQ+ visibility, transgender healthcare, and greater social acceptance, many queer people are asking a question that once seemed almost unimaginable: Are the rights we fought so hard to achieve becoming vulnerable again?In this timely episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie examine the political and cultural backlash facing the LGBTQ+ community--and what it means for our mental health, spirituality, relationships, and sense of belonging.Jerry shares what he is seeing among transgender clients in his psychotherapy practice, including renewed concerns about personal safety, healthcare access, identity, and the uncertainty created when transgender lives become political battlegrounds.But this episode isn't only about politics. It's about resilience.Jerry takes listeners back to December 2013 and the extraordinary morning when he and his longtime partner, Bruce, arrived at the Salt Lake County building unsure whether they would actually be allowed to marry. After nearly two decades together, they watched gay couples receive marriage licenses in Utah and realized their turn was coming.That victory represented something much larger than marriage. It represented dignity, equality, possibility, and hope.So what happens when that progress suddenly feels uncertain?John and Jerry reflect on decades of LGBTQ+ activism--from marriage equality and foster-care rights to conversion therapy legislation and the HIV/AIDS crisis--and talk candidly about activist fatigue. After fighting for so long, who picks up the torch next?They also explore how queer community has changed in the age of social media, smartphones, and dating apps. Gay bars, community centers, protests, rallies, and public meetings once gave LGBTQ+ people places to find one another, organize, exchange information, and build collective power. Have digital spaces made us more connected, or have they sometimes created an illusion of community while leaving us more isolated?John reflects on his experience as a Black man and the generations of civil-rights activists whose sacrifices created opportunities for those who followed. Both Black history and LGBTQ+ history remind us that progress is rarely a straight line. Every generation inherits both the victories and unfinished work of those who came before.The conversation also addresses tensions within the LGBTQ+ community. As transgender people increasingly become targets of political debate, John and Jerry challenge gay and lesbian people to remember our own history. Many accusations currently directed toward transgender people echo arguments once used against gay men and lesbians.Our liberation has always depended on showing up for one another.From political resistance, the conversation turns toward spiritual resilience.John shares his need for a "jolt of joy"--intentionally finding joy, movement, connection, and possibility when the news begins weighing down the spirit.Jerry draws upon lessons from sweat-lodge ceremonies and meditation, including the wisdom an elder once shared with him: learn to "be like the rocks." Rather than fighting against overwhelming heat, remain still and allow it to move through you.John connects that lesson to yoga. A difficult posture may make us shake, struggle, or want to escape--but eventually the posture ends.The discomfort is temporary.Stillness is not surrender.Yoga, meditation, ritual, breath, music, friendship, joy, and community can help us remain grounded enough to stand back up and participate when we're needed.Ultimately, "Are We Going Backward? Queer Resilience in a Time of Backlash" is about remembering who we are.Know your history. Find your people. Protect your joy. Support transgender members of our community. Listen to our elders. Mentor the generations coming behind us. And when you're called to show up--show up.LGBTQ+ history reminds us that frightening moments pass, progress can return, and queer people have always found creative ways to survive, organize, love, resist, celebrate, and create change.We are still here.Download and listen to The Mindfully Gay Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and watch the video podcast on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast.Then join the conversation: What has LGBTQ+ history taught you about surviving the challenges we're facing today?@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailAre We Going Backward? Queer Resilience in a Time of BacklashAirs September 4, 2026 on The Mindfully Gay PodcastAre LGBTQ+ rights moving backward?After decades of progress toward marriage equality, LGBTQ+ visibility, transgender healthcare, and greater social acceptance, many queer people are once again asking a question that once seemed almost unimaginable: Are the rights we fought so hard to achieve becoming vulnerable again?In this timely episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie examine the political and cultural backlash facing the LGBTQ+ community and, more importantly, what it means for our mental health, spirituality, relationships, and sense of belonging.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailThe Vibe of a Gay City: Finding Community, Freedom, and Connection Aired August 21What makes a city feel undeniably, unapologetically gay? Is it the rainbow flags, the nightlife, the history, the people—or something deeper?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie return after a brief summer hiatus to reflect on Jerry’s recent visit to Wilton Manors, Florida—one of America’s most vibrant LGBTQ+ communities. Their conversation expands into a heartfelt exploration of gay neighborhoods, queer belonging, chosen family, aging, visibility, and what it means to live in places where authenticity is not merely tolerated, but celebrated.Jerry describes Wilton Manors as “Gay Disney”—a place where gay-owned businesses, welcoming neighbors, Pride celebrations, and everyday interactions create an atmosphere of freedom, safety, and joy. Together, John and Jerry compare that experience with other iconic queer destinations, including Palm Springs, Provincetown, San Francisco’s Castro District, and Salt Lake City, examining how geography, culture, and history shape LGBTQ+ identity and community.The discussion asks an important question: What happens when we no longer have to explain ourselves, hide parts of who we are, or seek permission to exist?Along the way, John and Jerry explore:• The emotional impact of living in affirming LGBTQ+ spaces • The history and evolution of Salt Lake City’s gay community and Ninth & Ninth • Why some queer neighborhoods feel welcoming, while others carry different social energies • Internalized ageism among gay men and the power of seeing healthy, vibrant older LGBTQ+ role models • The relationship between community, self-care, fitness, and longevity • The importance of creating local spaces through game nights, movie groups, sober gatherings, and shared interests • Curiosity, teachability, and confronting internalized homophobia, transphobia, racism, and other biases within queer communities • The integration and visibility of transgender people within thriving LGBTQ+ cultures • Travel as a pathway to self-discovery, perspective, and personal liberationWhether you live in a major LGBTQ+ hub, a small town, or somewhere in between, this episode invites you to consider what makes you feel seen, valued, and connected. Community is not only something we find—it is something we create.What is the vibe of your city? What spaces allow you to breathe more freely? And how can we build communities where everyone has permission to show up fully as themselves?Download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and watch the full video conversation on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast. Join the discussion by following us on Instagram (@Mindfully_Gay), TikTok (@MindfullyGay), and visiting MindfullyGay.com for free social events, gatherings, and upcoming opportunities to connect.We would love to hear from listeners around the world: What is it like being gay where you live?@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailThe Vibe of a Gay City: Finding Community, Freedom, and Connection Airs August 21What makes a city feel undeniably, unapologetically gay? Is it the rainbow flags, the nightlife, the history, the people—or something deeper?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie return after a brief summer hiatus to reflect on Jerry’s recent visit to Wilton Manors, Florida—one of America’s most vibrant LGBTQ+ communities. Their conversation expands into a heartfelt exploration of gay neighborhoods, queer belonging, chosen family, aging, visibility, and what it means to live in places where authenticity is not merely tolerated, but celebrated.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan Mail“Beyond the Closet, Beyond the Church: Queer Faith, Shame, & Spiritual Freedom”Aired August 7th on The Mindfully Gay PodcastIn this powerful and deeply personal episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry explore the complicated relationship between queer identity, religion, spirituality, shame, and self-acceptance.Prompted by messages from listeners around the world — including countries where being LGBTQ+ is still criminalized or deeply oppressed — this conversation examines what it means to grow up hearing that who you are is somehow wrong, sinful, or in need of fixing.Jerry opens up about his experience growing up Mormon, serving a mission, marrying a woman, and desperately trying to “pray away” his sexuality through devotion, obedience, fasting, and faith. John reflects on growing up Catholic and receiving the painful mixed message so many queer people know well: “It’s okay to be who you are… just don’t tell anybody.”Together, they unpack the emotional and spiritual consequences of hiding, suppressing identity, and internalizing religious shame. They discuss religious trauma, conversion therapy, coming out in conservative environments, and the exhausting pressure many LGBTQ+ people feel to earn love, acceptance, and belonging.But this episode is also about healing.John and Jerry explore the possibility of reconnecting with spirituality outside the walls of organized religion — through nature, yoga, ceremony, mindfulness, community, ancestors, authentic conversation, and the wisdom already living within ourselves. They reflect on queer people as bridge builders, healers, truth tellers, and carriers of unique spiritual gifts and “magic.”This heartfelt conversation speaks directly to anyone navigating:Religious traumaFaith after coming outLGBTQ+ identity and spiritualityShame and self-acceptanceConservative religious environmentsQueer healing and authenticitySpirituality outside organized religionThe search for belonging and inner peaceWhether you are questioning your faith, rebuilding your relationship with spirituality, healing from rejection, or simply trying to live more authentically, this episode offers compassion, honesty, and hope.Watch the full video episode on YouTube at  The Mindfully Gay Podcast YouTube ChannelDownload and stream the audio podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.Visit  Mindfully Gay Podcast for updates, social events, and more episodes.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan Mail“Beyond the Closet, Beyond the Church: Queer Faith, Shame, and Spiritual Freedom” Airs August 7th on The Mindfully Gay PodcastIn this powerful and deeply personal episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry explore the complicated relationship between queer identity, religion, spirituality, shame, and self-acceptance.Prompted by messages from listeners around the world — including countries where being LGBTQ+ is still criminalized or deeply oppressed — this conversation examines what it means to grow up hearing that who you are is somehow wrong, sinful, or in need of fixing.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailPioneer Day, But Make It Gay | Mindfully Gay Podcast Air Date: July 24, 2026What does it mean to be a pioneer?In this special Pioneer Day episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry take a uniquely queer look at Utah’s Pioneer Day and ask an important question: Who are the gay pioneers who made our lives possible today?From the early LGBTQ+ activists who risked everything for visibility and equality, to the everyday people who dared to live authentically when it wasn’t safe, this conversation honors the trailblazers who paved the way for future generations of queer people.John and Jerry explore the importance of LGBTQ+ history, why many younger queer people may feel disconnected from the struggles and victories that came before them, and how understanding our collective past can strengthen our sense of identity, belonging, and community.The conversation touches on influential figures such as James Baldwin, Harry Hay, Marsha P. Johnson, Bayard Rustin, Harvey Milk, Larry Kramer, and countless others whose courage changed the course of LGBTQ+ history. They also reflect on the HIV/AIDS crisis, the evolution of Pride celebrations, the fight against conversion therapy, queer mental health advocacy, and the power of living openly in a world that often encourages conformity.Jerry shares stories from his work pioneering LGBTQ+-affirming mental health services in Utah, while John reflects on the mentors, teachers, and spiritual guides who helped him embrace both his faith and his identity.Most importantly, this episode challenges listeners to consider their own role in shaping the future. You don’t have to lead a movement, start an organization, or become famous to be a pioneer. Sometimes the most revolutionary act is simply telling the truth about who you are.Whether you’re newly out, questioning your identity, exploring queer history, celebrating Pride, or looking for inspiration to live more authentically, this conversation offers a meaningful reminder that every generation stands on the shoulders of those who came before.What part of LGBTQ+ history has inspired you most? And in what ways are you becoming a pioneer in your own life?Listen now and join the conversation.Download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Watch the full video podcast on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast.Visit MindfullyGay.com for upcoming events, community gatherings, and additional resources.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does it mean to be a pioneer?In this special Pioneer Day episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry take a uniquely queer look at Utah’s Pioneer Day and ask an important question: Who are the gay pioneers who made our lives possible today?From the early LGBTQ+ activists who risked everything for visibility and equality, to the everyday people who dared to live authentically when it wasn’t safe, this conversation honors the trailblazers who paved the way for future generations of queer people.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailThe Medicine of Pleasure: Queerness, Sensuality, and Sacred Practice Aired July 10th on The Mindfully Gay PodcastWhat if pleasure wasn’t something to fear, suppress, or hide—but something sacred?In this powerful and provocative new episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry explore one of their most transformative conversations yet: the relationship between queer identity, sensuality, spirituality, and the healing power of pleasure.“The Medicine of Pleasure: Queerness, Sensuality, and Sacred Practice” challenges the shame-based narratives many LGBTQ+ people have inherited from religion, culture, politics, and internalized homophobia. Together, John and Jerry ask what becomes possible when queer people begin reclaiming pleasure not merely as sexual expression, but as healing, embodiment, ritual, activism, and spiritual connection.From conversations about religious conditioning, sexual shame, and substance use in queer communities to tantra, body sensuality, sacred sexuality, and indigenous wisdom traditions, this episode offers an honest and expansive look at what it means to reconnect with your body, your joy, and your authentic self.Listeners will explore:How religion and cultural shame have impacted queer relationships with pleasureWhy so many LGBTQ+ individuals struggle to access joy, sensuality, and self-acceptanceThe difference between pleasure, intimacy, sensuality, eroticism, and spiritual practiceHow tantra, self-touch, mindfulness, and ritual can support healingQueer pleasure as activism and resistanceIndigenous and shamanic perspectives on sexual energy as sacred medicineThe importance of reclaiming joy, embodiment, and connection as part of healingThis episode is bold, funny, spiritually rich, and deeply personal—inviting listeners to rethink pleasure as nourishment for the body, mind, and soul.Whether you are healing from shame, exploring queer spirituality, reclaiming your sensuality, or simply curious about the intersection of pleasure and sacred practice, this conversation offers insight, empowerment, and reflection.Join John and Jerry on July 10th for a conversation that celebrates queer joy, embodied healing, and the radical act of fully receiving pleasure.Download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Watch the full video episode on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast.Because healing isn’t only about releasing pain. Sometimes healing is learning how to receive joy.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailThe Medicine of Pleasure: Queerness, Sensuality, and Sacred Practice Airs July 10th on The Mindfully Gay PodcastWhat if pleasure wasn’t something to fear, suppress, or hide—but something sacred?In this powerful and provocative new episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry explore one of their most transformative conversations yet: the relationship between queer identity, sensuality, spirituality, and the healing power of pleasure.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailSurvival to Thriving: The Evolution of Gay PrideAirs June 26thIn this Pride Month episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie reflect on the evolution of Gay Pride—from the activist roots of the Stonewall Riots to today’s massive Pride festivals, parades, corporate sponsorships, chosen family gatherings, and sacred queer spaces.As the 57th anniversary of Stonewall approaches, John and Jerry ask a powerful question: How do we move from simply surviving as gay men to truly thriving in our identity, community, joy, and authenticity?Together, they explore how Pride began as protest, resistance, and survival, especially for generations shaped by secrecy, stigma, HIV/AIDS, religious shame, and the need to find safety in bars, clubs, college groups, chosen families, and underground queer spaces. They also celebrate how those spaces became more than social outlets—they became sacred places of belonging, healing, self-expression, activism, and connection.This conversation looks at Pride beyond the parade. What makes Pride meaningful rather than performative? How do we honor the activists, elders, artists, drag queens, leather daddies, friends, lovers, and chosen families who helped create the world we now live in? And how do we carry Pride beyond June into our everyday lives?John and Jerry invite listeners to reflect on their own coming out stories, sacred gay rituals, personal milestones, and the communities that helped them feel seen. From Stonewall to same-sex marriage, from gay bars to brunch tables, from survival to joy, this episode is a celebration of queer resilience, gay history, LGBTQ identity, and the ongoing power of living truthfully.Download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and watch the video podcast on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailSurvival to Thriving: The Evolution of Gay PrideAirs June 26thIn this Pride Month episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie reflect on the evolution of Gay Pride—from the activist roots of the Stonewall Riots to today’s massive Pride festivals, parades, corporate sponsorships, chosen family gatherings, and sacred queer spaces.As the 57th anniversary of Stonewall approaches, John and Jerry ask a powerful question: How do we move from simply surviving as gay men to truly thriving in our identity, community, joy, and authenticity?@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailComing Out as Ceremony: Reimagining Pride as a Rite of Passage Aired June 19What if coming out was honored not just as a personal revelation, but as a sacred rite of passage?In this powerful Pride Month episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore a bold and meaningful question: How can we reimagine Pride and the coming out process as something ceremonial, communal, healing, and deeply affirming?Too often, coming out is treated as a private struggle followed by a public declaration. But for many LGBTQ+ people, the journey is much more layered than that. It can be lonely, emotional, liberating, and life-changing. In this episode, John and Jerry imagine a different possibility — one where coming out is witnessed, celebrated, and held with intention, much like rites of passage found in cultures around the world.Drawing from personal stories, spiritual traditions, queer experience, and community wisdom, this conversation explores the need for ritual, symbolism, belonging, and intergenerational connection within LGBTQ+ life. From the idea of a “coming out birthday” to ceremonial thresholds, rainbow sashes, community blessing, elder guidance, and a living “quilt of life,” this episode offers a moving vision for what queer celebration could become.John and Jerry also talk about the deeper hunger many gay men and queer people feel after coming out: the search for real community, authentic connection, and spaces where they can be fully seen beyond labels, apps, and surface-level identity. They reflect on the importance of honoring queer elders, learning from different generations, and creating meaningful traditions that affirm who we are all year long — not just during Pride Month.If you’ve ever wondered how to make Pride feel more personal, more spiritual, more healing, or more rooted in community, this episode is for you.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why coming out can be viewed as a rite of passageHow ritual and ceremony can bring more meaning to PrideThe importance of queer community, visibility, and belongingWhy intergenerational connection matters in LGBTQ+ spacesHow symbols, storytelling, and celebration can help affirm identityWhat it means to honor queer life while we are living itThis is a thoughtful and heartfelt conversation about gay identity, queer healing, LGBTQ+ spirituality, Pride Month, coming out stories, and building stronger queer community.Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast Download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyJoin us for this special episode airing June 19 and be part of the conversation about what Pride could look like when it becomes not just a celebration, but a meaningful ceremony of authenticity, courage, and belonging.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailComing Out as Ceremony: Reimagining Pride as a Rite of Passage Airs June 19What if coming out was honored not just as a personal revelation, but as a sacred rite of passage?In this powerful Pride Month episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore a bold and meaningful question: How can we reimagine Pride and the coming out process as something ceremonial, communal, healing, and deeply affirming?@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does Pride mean after the parade ends?In this new episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry reflect on the deeper meaning of Pride during a time when many LGBTQ+ people are asking bigger questions about identity, belonging, self-acceptance, and how to live authentically in a world that still applies pressure to conform. Pride Month is often celebrated through festivals, parades, and public visibility, but it can also be a time for personal reflection, healing, and reconnecting with who you truly are. In “More Than a Celebration: Embodying Pride,” John and Jerry move beyond the party atmosphere and explore Pride as something more personal, spiritual, and lasting. They ask: Is Pride something we perform for a season, or something we embody every day? What does it mean to live openly, confidently, and in alignment with your truth—not just during Pride weekend, but in ordinary life? This conversation touches on some of the most meaningful topics many listeners are actively seeking during Pride Month and beyond: coming out, queer identity, internalized shame, gay self-acceptance, LGBTQ mental health, healing from religious conditioning, community, authenticity, and the search for purpose. John and Jerry talk about the loneliness that can come with coming out, the challenge of leaving old narratives behind, and the importance of finding rituals, practices, and supportive spaces that help queer people step more fully into themselves. They also explore the difference between gay identity and gay essence—between how queerness may be seen from the outside and how it is actually lived, felt, and embodied from within. The result is a thoughtful, heartfelt episode about radical self-acceptance, spiritual growth, and why Pride can be more than a public celebration—it can be a way of being. If you have ever wondered how to carry the energy of Pride into the rest of your life, this episode offers an honest and compassionate conversation about what it means to celebrate yourself, release old shame, and show up more fully as who you are.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does Pride mean after the parade ends?In this new episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry reflect on the deeper meaning of Pride during a time when many LGBTQ+ people are asking bigger questions about identity, belonging, self-acceptance, and how to live authentically in a world that still applies pressure to conform. Pride Month is often celebrated through festivals, parades, and public visibility, but it can also be a time for personal reflection, healing, and reconnecting with who you truly are.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailRewriting the Gay AgendaAired May 22, 2026What if the “gay agenda” was never what culture, politics, and religion said it was?In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry reclaim one of the most loaded phrases in queer culture and give it an entirely new meaning. “Rewriting the Gay Agenda” is a bold, heartfelt conversation about gay identity, queer authenticity, internalized shame, coming out, self-acceptance, healing, and living truthfully in a world that has often tried to define LGBTQ+ people from the outside in.With humor, vulnerability, and wisdom, John and Jerry unpack how the phrase “gay agenda” was historically used as a fear-based political and religious talking point—often tied to anxiety around gay rights, same-sex marriage, LGBTQ visibility, adoption, religion, and queer existence in public life. But instead of rejecting the phrase, they ask a deeper question: What if gay men got to write their own agenda?This episode moves from cultural commentary into deeply personal storytelling. John and Jerry reflect on their own early experiences of being gay—when survival often meant hiding, suppressing desire, performing straightness, or trying to “fix” what was never broken. They talk openly about the emotional cost of living under old narratives shaped by fear, religion, shame, family expectations, and external validation.From there, the conversation evolves into something more liberating: a new vision of the gay agenda rooted in authenticity, connection, mindfulness, self-knowledge, intimacy, compassion, spiritual growth, and radical self-acceptance.Along the way, they explore questions many listeners may be asking themselves right now:What am I really seeking?Where am I still performing?What would a more mindful, aligned life look like for me?How do I stop living for approval and start living from truth?John and Jerry also explore why gay men sometimes struggle to show kindness toward one another, and why real dialogue, vulnerability, and community matter so much. They suggest that the true “gay agenda” is not a conspiracy at all—it’s a personal commitment to living fully, consciously, and without apology.This is an episode for anyone navigating queer identity, healing from internalized homophobia, self-worth, coming out later in life, religious trauma, gay male culture, authenticity, or the search for deeper alignment and purpose.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan Mail“Rewriting the Gay Agenda”Airs May 22, 2026What if the “gay agenda” was never what culture, politics, and religion said it was?In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry reclaim one of the most loaded phrases in queer culture and give it an entirely new meaning. “Rewriting the Gay Agenda” is a bold, heartfelt conversation about gay identity, queer authenticity, internalized shame, coming out, self-acceptance, healing, and living truthfully in a world that has often tried to define LGBTQ+ people from the outside in.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailSex as Currency: The Hidden Dynamics of Gay Male ConnectionAirs May 8What if the way we connect as gay men has been shaped more by survival than by intention?In this thought-provoking episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore a powerful and often unspoken dynamic within gay male culture: the idea of sex as currency.Why do so many interactions between gay men—whether at the gym, on dating apps, or even at casual social gatherings—carry an underlying sexual expectation? Where does this come from, and how does it influence our ability to form meaningful connections?Drawing inspiration from a viral social media conversation, John and Jerry unpack how growing up in the closet, navigating shame, and living within a heteronormative culture may have shaped the way many gay men relate to one another. They discuss how sexuality—while something to celebrate—can sometimes become a gateway to validation, belonging, or worth.This episode offers a nuanced and honest look at:Why sexuality can feel like a form of “currency” in gay male spacesHow everyday environments can carry subtle (or not-so-subtle) sexual undertonesThe balance between celebrating sexual freedom and creating space for non-sexual connectionThe impact of cultural shame, religious conditioning, and internalized beliefsHow to build authentic friendships, intimacy, and community beyond expectationJohn and Jerry don’t shy away from complexity. Instead, they invite listeners to reflect on their own experiences and consider a new possibility: connection that isn’t transactional, but intentional.Whether you’ve ever questioned dating culture, felt pressure in social spaces, or simply want deeper connection within the LGBTQ+ community, this conversation offers insight, awareness, and a refreshing perspective.🎧 Download and listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailSex as Currency: The Hidden Dynamics of Gay Male ConnectionAirs May 8What if the way we connect as gay men has been shaped more by survival than by intention?In this thought-provoking episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore a powerful and often unspoken dynamic within gay male culture: the idea of sex as currency.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailInternalized Homophobia: The Stories We Tell About Ourselves (and Each Other)Aired April 24What if the hardest judgment you face isn’t coming from the outside world—but from the story you’ve learned to tell about yourself?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie name a pattern many gay men quietly carry: internalized homophobia—the inherited beliefs, fears, and assumptions that can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to other gay men, and how safe we feel showing up in community.John and Jerry explore how internalized homophobia often hides in plain sight:The urge to measure yourself against heteronormative “standards” of masculinity, worth, and belongingThe way painful experiences can turn into sweeping beliefs like “gay men can’t be trusted” or “I don’t fit in”Why so many gay men feel isolated from other gay men, even when they crave connectionHow social media comparison can intensify shame, exclusion, and the feeling that you’re “not enough”The nervous system fears behind simple moments—like why saying “hello” at the gym can feel loaded with anxiety or rejectionThis conversation is also deeply practical. John and Jerry share how to start interrupting the narrative loop—through small acts of courage, real-world connection, and community spaces that aren’t centered on partying or performance. From gym interactions to social groups, they reflect on how testing your assumptions in real life can dissolve the myths that keep you stuck.If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong, if you’ve judged yourself for being “too much” or “not enough,” or if you’ve pulled away from gay community out of fear—this episode offers language, compassion, and a path forward.🎧 Listen and download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.📺 Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailInternalized Homophobia: The Stories We Tell About Ourselves (and Each Other)Airs April 24What if the hardest judgment you face isn’t coming from the outside world—but from the story you’ve learned to tell about yourself?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie name a pattern many gay men quietly carry: internalized homophobia—the inherited beliefs, fears, and assumptions that can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to other gay men, and how safe we feel showing up in community.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does queer community really need right now—and what happens when Pride becomes more than a parade, a slogan, or a once-a-year celebration?In this special on-location episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie step outside the studio and head to the Utah Pride Center in downtown Salt Lake City for an eye-opening conversation with Executive Director Chad Call. Together, they explore what it means to build authentic LGBTQ+ community in a time marked by political pressure, cultural shifts, financial uncertainty, and a growing hunger for connection.This episode goes beyond surface-level ideas of Pride and gets to the heart of what many queer people are searching for right now: belonging, support, visibility, joy, healing, and meaningful community spaces. Chad offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the Utah Pride Center serves the LGBTQ+ community through youth programs, senior gatherings, therapy access, support groups, social events, volunteer opportunities, and grassroots outreach across the state of Utah.John, Jerry, and Chad also discuss the changing needs of queer people today. Why are more people looking for community spaces that are not only about struggle, but also about celebration, creativity, friendship, and queer joy? How do LGBTQ+ organizations stay responsive when different groups within the community have different needs? And how can listeners support queer spaces that are working to unite, empower, and celebrate people in real and lasting ways?The conversation also takes on difficult but necessary topics, including the current challenges facing Pride organizations across the country, the loss of corporate sponsorships, the importance of community-based funding, and the question of how LGBTQ+ spaces can remain inclusive while responding to urgent political realities. Throughout the episode, John and Jerry continue the Mindfully Gay mission of asking honest questions, making room for nuance, and amplifying voices across the queer community.If you’ve ever wondered what a Pride Center actually does, why queer community spaces still matter, or how we can show up for one another in a more thoughtful and sustainable way, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailMore Than Pride: What Queer Community Needs NowAirs April 10What does queer community really need right now—and what happens when Pride becomes more than a parade, a slogan, or a once-a-year celebration?In this special on-location episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie step outside the studio and head to the Utah Pride Center in downtown Salt Lake City for an eye-opening conversation with Executive Director Chad Call. Together, they explore what it means to build authentic LGBTQ+ community in a time marked by political pressure, cultural shifts, financial uncertainty, and a growing hunger for connection.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does it mean to feel invisible in a community that’s supposed to be yours?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry respond to the strong reactions sparked by their recent “Kindness” episode—and follow the ripple to something even bigger: why so many gay and queer men feel disillusioned with gay culture, and why it can be so hard to actually show up for the kind of connection we say we want.Jerry shares what he’s seeing in his therapy office again and again: men who feel dismissed, disconnected, and tired of the pressure to perform—whether it’s image, status, or the over-sexualized expectations that can dominate queer spaces. John and Jerry name the uncomfortable paradox: so many of us say we want community beyond hookups and nightlife—yet we hesitate to attend the very spaces designed for that (bowling nights, movie nights, retreats, and real conversation).From there, the conversation turns to a topic that hits hard for many listeners: aging in gay male culture. What happens when you start telling yourself you’re “not relevant” anymore? What happens when you put yourself out to pasture before anyone else can?Jerry opens up about confronting the stories he carried about getting older—body shame, desirability, confidence, and belonging—and how he’s choosing a new path through what he calls rebranding: challenging old narratives, engaging what feels intimidating, and creating a more honest relationship with his body, his sexuality, and his purpose.John and Jerry also explore what queer spaces may be missing: eldership, mentorship, and intergenerational connection. They compare that gap to cultures where elders are honored, included, and seen as essential—and they ask what it would look like for queer community to function more like a circle than a hierarchy. Not “who’s at the top,” but who’s at the table.If you’ve ever thought…“I don’t fit in.”“Gay culture feels superficial.”“I want deeper friendships, but I don’t know where to start.”“I’m getting older and I’m not sure where I belong.”…this episode is for you.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does it mean to feel invisible in a community that’s supposed to be yours?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry respond to the strong reactions sparked by their recent “Kindness” episode—and follow the ripple to something even bigger: why so many gay and queer men feel disillusioned with gay culture, and why it can be so hard to actually show up for the kind of connection we say we want.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and timely episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie take on one of the most talked-about queer TV series of the year—Heated Rivalry—and use it as a mirror to explore how gay men are portrayed in media, how those portrayals shape our self-image, and what it means to feel truly seen.While Heated Rivalry has been praised for its steamy chemistry and bold storytelling, John and Jerry go beyond the hype to examine what the show really says about gay love, intimacy, masculinity, coming out, and belonging. They reflect on how earlier generations grew up watching tragic or stereotyped depictions of LGBTQ+ people—and how modern shows are shifting that narrative, but not without complications.This conversation looks at the tension between sexual visibility and emotional depth, asking:Are we finally seeing ourselves represented… or are new stereotypes just replacing old ones?John and Jerry also compare Heated Rivalry with more emotionally grounded queer stories, talk about how Hollywood shapes gay identity, and connect these portrayals to the real-world fears many queer people feel about showing up, being judged, or not fitting in.From reality TV to dating apps, from drag culture to queer retreats, this episode explores how media influences what we think it means to be gay—and how we can reclaim our own stories with kindness, courage, and authenticity.Whether you loved Heated Rivalry, felt conflicted by it, or are just curious about how queer stories are evolving, this episode invites you to reflect on what resonates, what feels missing, and how we can build a more honest and inclusive community.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and timely episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie take on one of the most talked-about queer TV series of the year—Heated Rivalry—and use it as a mirror to explore how gay men are portrayed in media, how those portrayals shape our self-image, and what it means to feel truly seen.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat would your life feel like if you stopped performing—and started living from your truth?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie return to a conversation that sparked major interest in the community: reclaiming authenticity. This time, they take it further—introducing their upcoming men’s retreat centered on Radical Self-Acceptance and exploring what it actually means to come home to yourself.John shares a powerful image: many of us walk through life wearing too many layers—masks, roles, people-pleasing habits, old protection strategies, and stories shaped by family dynamics, shame, and comparison. Radical self-acceptance is the practice of removing those layers so you can meet yourself honestly and live more freely.Jerry and John explore how self-acceptance isn’t about perfection or “having it all figured out.” It’s about building enough self-trust to ask better questions—like:“Is that true?”“Where did that belief come from?”“What’s the evidence that I’m worthy, valid, and enough?”You’ll also hear why community matters so much in healing. The retreat model they’re creating is built around brotherhood, witnessing, and a supportive container where men can be seen without judgment and celebrated for their truth—especially when they’re still learning to see it themselves.This episode also includes meaningful conversation about:Queer ancestry and gay history through the practice of creating an ancestor altarWhy feeling “alone” is often the hidden barrier to showing up for communityHow nature helps the nervous system settle and restores perspectiveYoga as a physical path toward emotional clarity and inner strengthAnxiety, self-judgment, and why we often try to silence what might be guiding us toward growthIf you’ve been craving more confidence, self-validation, and a stronger sense of identity—this episode is for you.🎧 Listen + download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify📺 Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat would your life feel like if you stopped performing—and started living from your truth?In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie return to a conversation that sparked major interest in the community: reclaiming authenticity. This time, they take it further—introducing their upcoming men’s retreat centered on Radical Self-Acceptance and exploring what it actually means to come home to yourself.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan Mail"The Episodes That Hit a Nerve: A Year in Review"The Mindfully Gay Podcast with Jerry Buie & John CottrellAirs: February 13In this bold and reflective Year in Review episode, John and Jerry revisit the conversations that stirred the strongest reactions, sparked the most dialogue, and left a lasting imprint on listeners. The Episodes That Hit a Nerve looks back on a year of courageous topics, unexpected resonance, and meaningful growth--both for the podcast and the community that's grown around it.Recorded just before the holidays and released in the new year, this episode reflects on nearly 30 episodes recorded in 2025, the milestone 50th episode, and the podcast's expanding reach across YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. John and Jerry share heartfelt gratitude for listeners around the world--including a powerful message from a listener in South Africa--affirming that these conversations are landing far beyond their immediate community.At its heart, this episode explores why certain topics struck a nerve. From sex, intimacy, and performance anxiety to shame, self-doubt, identity, and belonging, John and Jerry unpack what made these episodes resonate--and sometimes provoke. They reflect on how the podcast has become a form of collective group therapy, offering space for curiosity, vulnerability, and real-life experience rather than polished answers or authority.Listeners will hear reflections on:- Conversations around sexual expression, kink, touch, and sexual health that normalized experiences many gay men struggle to name- Episodes exploring shame, fear, comparison, and the inner critic, alongside the question of how we move through--not around--these experiences- The growing desire for community, brotherhood, and being witnessed, especially in a culture dominated by soundbites and surface-level connection- The idea of rewriting inherited narratives--or "casting new spells"--to challenge stories of limitation and reclaim personal power- Guests described as modern-day "wizards," whose voices help shift cultural conversations around queerness, healing, pleasure, and authenticityThe episode also looks forward--teasing ideas for 2026, including town-hall style conversations, intergenerational dialogues, Pride and "on-the-street" interviews, and new ways of bringing more voices into the circle.This is more than a recap. It's an invitation to reflect on what moved you, what challenged you, and what conversations you're ready to keep having.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailIn this bold and reflective Year in Review episode, John and Jerry revisit the conversations that stirred the strongest reactions, sparked the most dialogue, and left a lasting imprint on listeners. The Episodes That Hit a Nerve looks back on a year of courageous topics, unexpected resonance, and meaningful growth--both for the podcast and the community that's grown around it.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when leather, kink, and queer mental health sit at the same table?In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry welcome "Mr. X," the current Mr. Leather Salt Lake, for a candid conversation about leather culture, BDSM, and why these communities are about so much more than just sex. Together, they explore how leather spaces can become powerful hubs for community, healing, and radical self-expression--especially for queer folks who have never felt like they truly fit in.Mr. X shares the story of resurrecting Salt Lake City Leather Pride after COVID and how the event has quickly become both celebration and service, raising over $10,000 for UAF Legacy Health. He traces the roots of gay leather culture back to World War II veterans in cities like San Francisco and Chicago, explaining how discharged and outed soldiers found belonging in motorcycle clubs, leather bars, and brotherhoods that offered structure, intimacy, and unapologetic sexuality.The conversation then moves into the heart of kink: bondage, power exchange, fetish, and BDSM as forms of radical sexual self-expression. Mr. X and the hosts talk about how some people use kink to reclaim power from past trauma and reshape old stories in a way that is conscious, consensual, and embodied. They emphasize the importance of enthusiastic consent, negotiation, and clear communication through tools like safe words, the stoplight system (green/yellow/red), SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual), and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).John and Jerry contrast this with hookup app culture, where boundaries and consent are often assumed rather than discussed. Mr. X explains how leather and kink communities can model healthier sexual communication for the broader queer world by centering education, ethics, and community accountability. He talks about local classes on bondage, spanking, fisting, and impact play that are designed to prioritize safety, sober participation, and emotional wellbeing.The episode also highlights the role of leather and kink communities in public health and advocacy--from Monkeypox vaccination drives and HIV/PrEP education to connecting folks with queer-affirming care at places like UAF Legacy Health. Throughout, inclusion is a constant theme: John and Jerry reflect on Leather Pride as a space where skinny twinks, bears, trans masc folks, and everyone in between are welcomed, seen, and celebrated.As Mr. Leather, Mr. X views his title as a responsibility: to fundraise, to educate, to mentor younger kinksters, to show up at rallies, and to use his privilege in service of marginalized members of the community. The episode closes with an invitation to anyone listening who feels curious, ashamed, or alone in their desires--reminding them that kink and leather spaces can be a gateway to deeper connection, better sex, and a more honest relationship with yourself.If you've ever wondered what really happens in leather spaces, how to approach kink safely, or how consent can transform your sex life, this episode is for you.Contact Mr. X:Ig: Mr.x.boundSlcleatherpride.comUaflegacyhealth.comSLC-pride.com@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when leather, kink, and queer mental health sit at the same table?In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry welcome "Mr. X," the current Mr. Leather Salt Lake, for a candid conversation about leather culture, BDSM, and why these communities are about so much more than just sex. Together, they explore how leather spaces can become powerful hubs for community, healing, and radical self-expression--especially for queer folks who have never felt like they truly fit in.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhy is it so hard to just say "hi"? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry take a thoughtful, honest look at kindness in queer male spaces--from the gym locker room to the neighborhood sidewalk to dating and hookup apps. They talk about those all-too-familiar moments when someone you've chatted with online pretends not to know you in person, when neighbors avoid eye contact, or when a simple "good morning" feels radical.Drawing on their work as therapists and community builders, John and Jerry explore how social media, anonymity, politics, and COVID didn't create our disconnection--but absolutely amplified it. They ask a hard but necessary question:Do we genuinely care about each other as queer men, or only about causes, bodies, and aesthetics?You'll hear real stories from their clinical work with gay men who feel dismissed, invisible, and "not good enough" in queer spaces. John and Jerry push back against the myth that beauty, muscles, or popularity equal emotional health, reminding us that cruelty is never attractive--no matter how tight your abs are. Instead, they celebrate the quiet power of everyday courtesies: saying hello at the gym, checking in after someone shares they're caring for a sick parent, remembering birthdays, or introducing people to one another at community events.They also get personal about their own introversion and social anxiety, describing how they psych themselves up to attend leather events, talk to strangers at the gym, or simply soften their facial expressions so they don't come off as standoffish. Along the way, they offer simple, doable practices for listeners who want to show up with more heart:- Normalize your nervousness and remind yourself, "I'm okay--even when I'm anxious."- Practice small pleasantries: a nod, a smile, a "How was your workout?"- Stop taking every cold interaction personally by revisiting ideas from The Four Agreements.- Treat apps like real life: if you wouldn't walk away mid-sentence in person, don't ignore people online.- Put your phone away at meals or gatherings and actually talk to the humans in front of you.- "Pass it forward": let one kind act ripple outward in your community.At its core, this episode is a love letter to queer humanity. John and Jerry believe that queer folks are capable of profound empathy, compassion, and magic--we just need to dust it off, practice it, and give ourselves permission to show up differently. If you've ever felt invisible in queer spaces--or wondered how to help change the culture--this conversation is for you.🎧 Listen to the audio episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify--and don't forget to download it so you can revisit the conversation anytime.📺 Watch the full video podcast on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast and join us in the comments to share your own stories of kindness, rejection, and connection in queer spaces.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhy is it so hard to just say "hi"? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry take a thoughtful, honest look at kindness in queer male spaces--from the gym locker room to the neighborhood sidewalk to dating and hookup apps. They talk about those all-too-familiar moments when someone you've chatted with online pretends not to know you in person, when neighbors avoid eye contact, or when a simple "good morning" feels radical.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does it really mean to have a bromance in today's world? In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie take an honest look at how men--gay, straight, and everything in between--create friendship, affection, and emotional connection without shame or fear.From hugs at the lodge to playful "bro pats," John and Jerry share personal stories about how men navigate closeness, masculinity, and comfort in different settings. They explore why gay men often adjust their behavior around straight friends, how internalized homophobia still affects expressions of affection, and why emotional safety is so vital in male friendship.The conversation also explores how sexual labels like friends with benefits or fuck buddies reflect different ways people seek connection--and how focusing too much on sex can limit deeper, more soulful relationships. Together, John and Jerry invite listeners to rethink what true brotherhood looks like: a space of tenderness, humor, and heart where men can be authentic, open, and emotionally present.Whether you're part of the LGBTQ+ community or simply curious about how men connect beyond stereotypes, this episode offers laughter, warmth, and thoughtful insight into how we can all show up more meaningfully for one another.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat does it really mean to have a bromance in today's world? In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie take an honest look at how men--gay, straight, and everything in between--create friendship, affection, and emotional connection without shame or fear.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailHow do we stay grounded when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control? In this powerful and heartfelt episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore what it means to live — and thrive — as queer people during times of global unrest, political turmoil, and collective anxiety.Recorded in the shadow of what Jerry calls “the reign of terror,” this honest conversation moves from the therapy room to the yoga mat, from personal stories to historical reflection. John and Jerry connect today’s fears to major cultural turning points — 9/11, the AIDS crisis, marriage equality, and beyond — revealing how the LGBTQ+ community has always found resilience in connection, creativity, and self-understanding.They remind listeners that true power doesn’t come from external validation — not from politics, religion, or social approval — but from the deep spiritual knowing of who we already are. Through stories of activism, self-care, and queer wisdom, they invite us to rebuild our sense of belonging through presence, purpose, and love.Whether you’re a therapist, activist, yogi, or simply a human seeking hope, this episode offers grounded tools for emotional resilience and a meaningful reminder:“We cannot be erased — not by fear, not by politics, not by silence.” Episode Highlights•Processing collective trauma in therapy and queer life after 9/11, Pulse, and the 2024 election.•How generational differences shape our reactions to fear and political change.•The danger of digital activism replacing real community.•Reclaiming spiritual authority and rejecting the need for external permission to exist.•The importance of queer history, mentorship, and intergenerational connection.•Redefining activism: showing up in community, teaching yoga, mentoring, or simply holding space.•How ritual, mindfulness, and nature help us transform fear into power.🎧 Listen to “Finding Grounded Strength in Uncertain Times” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube — search “Mindfully Gay Podcast.”💬 Join the conversation on Instagram: @Mindfully_Gay🌐 Visit MindfullyGay.com for upcoming free social events and community gatherings.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailHow do we stay grounded when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control? In this powerful and heartfelt episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore what it means to live — and thrive — as queer people during times of global unrest, political turmoil, and collective anxiety.Recorded in the shadow of what Jerry calls “the reign of terror,” this honest conversation moves from the therapy room to the yoga mat, from personal stories to historical reflection. John and Jerry connect today’s fears to major cultural turning points — 9/11, the AIDS crisis, marriage equality, and beyond — revealing how the LGBTQ+ community has always found resilience in connection, creativity, and self-understanding.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when we stop pretending everything's fine in the bedroom--and start talking about what's really going on?In this powerful and compassionate episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts Jerry Buie and John Cottrell welcome Shay Doran, a UK-born men's performance coach now based in Brazil, who helps gay men overcome sexual performance anxiety, erection issues, and intimacy challenges through emotional awareness and mindset work.Together, Jerry, John, and Shay explore how shame, fear, and cultural conditioning--especially around porn, hookup culture, and masculine ideals--can create stress that blocks sexual connection. Shay opens up about his own journey from corporate burnout to becoming a coach dedicated to helping men reclaim confidence, pleasure, and authentic intimacy.Listeners will gain insight into:- What really causes performance anxiety (and why it's not just "in your head")- How stress physiology affects arousal, climax, and erection- The role of childhood conditioning and trauma in adult sexual behavior- How to approach partners with openness and vulnerability- Why emotional safety and self-trust are the foundation of satisfying sex- Practical tools like box breathing and mindfulness for calming anxiety- The connection between erotic energy, tantra, and spiritual intimacyThis episode is an invitation to normalize conversations about sex, release shame, and approach intimacy as a holistic expression of body, mind, and spirit. Whether you've experienced performance anxiety yourself or want to support someone who has, this is a conversation every gay man should hear.🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify -- search Mindfully Gay Podcast.📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube -- subscribe to Mindfully Gay Podcast for new releases every other Friday.🌐 Visit [MindfullyGay.com](https://mindfullygay.com) for community events, retreats, and resources.Get in touch with Shay:Links:Performance Anxiety Quiz: https://shay-doran.com/free-quiz/Website: https://shay-doran.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doranExclusive Gift (Performance Anxiety Guided Meditation): https://vimeo.com/1127971151@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when we stop pretending everything's fine in the bedroom--and start talking about what's really going on?In this powerful and compassionate episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts Jerry Buie and John Cottrell welcome Shay Doran, a UK-born men's performance coach now based in Brazil, who helps gay men overcome sexual performance anxiety, erection issues, and intimacy challenges through emotional awareness and mindset work.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when queer community building gets moved to the morning--bright, intentional, and phone-free? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie sit down with Landon and Kevin, creators of Morning Wood (@morningwoodparty), a daytime, sex-positive social gathering designed to foster real connection, body positivity, and inclusive community--without the noise, the post-midnight pressure, or the performative vibe.You'll hear how a barber-chair idea became a fast-growing movement where men of all ages, bodies, and backgrounds meet, talk, flirt, and (if they choose) explore intimacy--with consent and communication at the center. We unpack how Morningwood challenges hyper-edited "Instigay" norms, why banning phones actually lowers anxiety and boosts conversation, and how trained social hosts help newcomers feel welcome from the moment they step in.The conversation also explores:- Body image & age inclusivity: showing real people, not perfection filters- Social anxiety tools: intention-setting, opt-in spaces, and "choose-your-own-adventure" design- Sexual wellness with Legacy Health (Utah AIDS Foundation): testing, PrEP/DoxyPEP education, and game nights as low-pressure entry points- Post-pandemic reconnection: rebuilding face-to-face community with mindful structure- Queer innovation: expanding the cultural narrative beyond nightlife to joy, safety, and belongingIf you've ever wondered where to meet quality people in a respectful, affirming environment--or how to host gatherings that balance pleasure, safety, and authenticity--this episode is your roadmap.Listen on audio: Download on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Watch the video podcast on YouTube (search: Mindfully Gay Podcast).Follow our free social events and updates: MindfullyGay.com and @mindfully_gay.And follow Morning Wood on Instagram @morningwoodparty@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when queer community building gets moved to the morning--bright, intentional, and phone-free? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie sit down with Landon and Kevin, creators of Morning Wood (@morningwoodparty), a daytime, sex-positive social gathering designed to foster real connection, body positivity, and inclusive community--without the noise, the post-midnight pressure, or the performative vibe.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when we stop assuming that every instance of male touch must be sexual? In this powerful conversation, John and Jerry sit down with Travis Matthews (WLF Massage, Salt Lake City) to explore how Thai massage, fascia release, and somatic bodywork help queer men relax, refresh, and reset. We unpack why touch between men is often stigmatized, how arousal can simply be energy moving (not a sexual invitation), and practical ways to cultivate safe, affirming touch that supports healing, intimacy, and community.You'll learn:- Why many queer men equate touch with sex--and how to shift that paradigm- The difference between erotic and sensual/energetic experiences- How Thai massage & somatic work release stored tension/trauma and invite vulnerability- Concrete practices to build touch literacy (hugs, handshakes, supportive touch) without sexual pressure- How "Relax, Refresh, Reset" can become a daily embodiment practiceGuest:Travis Matthews -- WLF Massage (Thai massage, fascia work, lymphatic & Swedish modalities) • Salt Lake City, UTWebsite: WLFmassage.comKey Takeaways:- Touch can be healing, relational, and spiritual--not only sexual.- Somatic work helps create space for new energy, clarity, and connection.- Build community by practicing non-sexual touch in safe contexts.- Reframe labels as conversation starters, not destinations.Listen on audio: Apple Podcasts & SpotifyWatch more: Mindfully Gay Podcast on YouTubeConnect: MindfullyGay.com • IG: @mindfully_gay • TikTok: @MindfullyGayHave a question or topic idea? Drop a comment or DM--we read everything.If this helped you, like, subscribe, and share with a friend who needs it.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when we stop assuming that every instance of male touch must be sexual? In this powerful conversation, John and Jerry sit down with Travis Matthews (WLF Massage, Salt Lake City) to explore how Thai massage, fascia release, and somatic bodywork help queer men relax, refresh, and reset. We unpack why touch between men is often stigmatized, how arousal can simply be energy moving (not a sexual invitation), and practical ways to cultivate safe, affirming touch that supports healing, intimacy, and community.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when queer generations sit down together to truly listen? In this thought-provoking episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie welcome two younger queer voices, Quinn and Andi, for a rich intergenerational conversation about identity, activism, and communityTogether, they explore how queer language and labels have evolved—from the days when “gay” and “lesbian” were the only visible terms, to today’s broader spectrum of identities like non-binary, transgender, gender-fluid, and queer. The discussion highlights both the empowerment and challenges of this expanded vocabulary, and why labels matter for history, identity, and solidarity.Jerry and John share stories from their activism in the 80s and 90s—organizing through phone trees, rallies, and protests—while Quinn and Andi reflect on Gen Z queer realities shaped by technology, online community, and political backlash. The group also wrestles with powerful questions:What can older LGBTQ+ folks learn from the passion and perspective of younger generations?How can younger queer people gain wisdom from the struggles, strategies, and victories of their elders?What does activism look like today, and how do we build queer communities that thrive across generations?This heartfelt and candid conversation reminds us that queer survival is about more than fighting—it’s about connection, joy, and vision for a liberated future.🎧 Listen to the full audio episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.📺 Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast.✨ Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with your community so others can join the conversation.Donate to Help Quinn Access Top Surgery: http://gofund.me/0fac6bdb@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when queer generations sit down together to truly listen? In this thought-provoking episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie welcome two younger queer voices, Quinn and Andi, for a rich intergenerational conversation about identity, activism, and communityTogether, they explore how queer language and labels have evolved—from the days when “gay” and “lesbian” were the only visible terms, to today’s broader spectrum of identities like non-binary, transgender, gender-fluid, and queer. The discussion highlights both the empowerment and challenges of this expanded vocabulary, and why labels matter for history, identity, and solidarity.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and heartfelt episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore the urgent question: How can straight and cisgender allies show up for LGBTQ+ communities in today’s political climate? Drawing from personal stories, therapy room insights, and lived experiences, they offer a clear roadmap for authentic allyship that goes beyond words.From the importance of listening without judgment to understanding the weight of privilege, John and Jerry share how allies can create safe spaces, stand in solidarity, and amplify queer voices. They tackle tough topics—including political contradictions, the harm caused by misgendering and deadnaming, and the emotional toll of feeling unseen—and offer actionable ways allies can make a meaningful difference.Whether you’re an ally wanting to do better, a queer person seeking support, or someone navigating the complexities of privilege and inclusion, this conversation will challenge, inspire, and encourage you to take intentional action.✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why active listening and “witnessing” are essential tools for allyshipHow to check your privilege and engage with someone else’s lived realityWays to support trans and non-binary friends respectfully and meaningfullyHow political and religious affiliations impact trust in ally relationshipsThe importance of safe spaces—and how allies can help create themWhy reciprocal allyship matters in both queer and straight communities📺 Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast🎧 Download the audio on Apple Podcasts & Spotify – and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share so more people can join the conversation.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and heartfelt episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore the urgent question: How can straight and cisgender allies show up for LGBTQ+ communities in today’s political climate? Drawing from personal stories, therapy room insights, and lived experiences, they offer a clear roadmap for authentic allyship that goes beyond words.@mindfully_gay (Instagram)