Morning Crankers: Comedy - News & Outrageous Real-Life Stories

Hans and Roxy are back with another wild edition of Morning Crankers! From the world's most disgusting ice cream flavors and an embarrassing French translation creating "pubic squares," to killer alligator attacks, a missing giraffe in Texas, overpriced World Cup food, beaver hunts, record-breaking kittens, yodelers cooling off in fountains, Karen Gillan's wrong-bus adventure, and hilarious Curious Cars moments—it's another morning packed with bizarre headlines and nonstop laughs.

This week on Morning Crankers, Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into the weirdest headlines on the planet. From the biggest movies coming in 2026 and World Cup players dodging snakes in a U.S. host city, to a shocking IVF mix-up, a Supreme Court ruling on gun rights, and a TSA warning involving America's favorite snacks. Plus, a Florida man with 34 open White Claws, a toddler tossed into an alligator enclosure, a rare tick-borne virus scare, and a bizarre medical case that has doctors sounding the alarm. It's chaos, comedy, and crankiness the way only Morning Crankers can deliver it.

 This week on Morning Crankers, Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into another pile of unbelievable headlines. A man gets stuck in a chimney trying to rescue his dog, an Australian designer shocks the internet with rat-covered underwear, and Pizza Hut gets a new owner. The guys break down White House UFC chaos, an alleged pathogen smuggling scandal, a YouTuber's lifetime ban from Six Flags, and a wife who allegedly used Gorilla Glue for the ultimate revenge. From shark attacks and fake pilots to lemonade stand robbers and social media sleuths tracking down a killer, it's another wild ride through the strangest stories making headlines today. 

 Missing scientists, courtroom meltdowns, political scandals, mummy bread, bug smugglers, Toy Story 5, and a buffalo that looks like Donald Trump. Just another weird week on Morning Crankers. 

Florida takes on OpenAI, sewer explorers creep through New York's underground tunnels, a teen burglar leaves behind a trail of dog poop, and anime fans are buying "Feet Juice." Plus, a mystery sonic boom shakes South Carolina, a woman battles a surgeon after a botched eye operation, and a couple tries cashing fake lottery tickets. It's another wild ride through the weirdest headlines on Morning Crankers!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aliens, cheese rolling, retro Pizza Huts, influencer cows, and a man pulling a police car with his manhood — this episode of Morning Crankers delivers one of the wildest news roundups yet. We break down bizarre headlines, conspiracy claims, weird lawsuits, and the strangest stories taking over the internet.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Morning Crankers, things get weird, wild, and completely off the rails. We’re talking criminals disappearing with ankle monitors, a gigantic ruby discovery, witches allegedly crawling through apartment ceilings in Springfield, pizza chains shutting down stores, strange hantavirus research, a Russian nuclear ship disaster, and a real-life WKRP radio station coming to Cincinnati. Plus, we share some personal family news with our daughter’s wedding and baby announcement, along with our trip to the surprisingly charming town of Washington, Missouri.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on the New Morning Crankers Morning Show, the crew dives headfirst into one of the weirdest news weeks yet. From the Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini scandal rumors getting even stranger, to mysterious deaths tied to sensitive U.S. research projects, things get wild fast. Plus, a “fossil shark” missing since 1898 suddenly shows up near Spain, scientists talk about resurrecting extinct Siberian lions, and Sean Strickland shocks the MMA world. Add in Mother’s Day facts, Taylor Sheridan’s Landman, the new Dutton Ranch trailer, Sony’s rumored next-gen Walkman, and a Utah Supreme Court resignation scandal… and you’ve got absolute Morning Crankers chaos.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.