PODCAST · society
My Spouse Died Too
by Emeric McCleary, Widower
The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!
Episodes
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Episode 96: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (3 of 3)
The last doctor visit, and why Jane's doctor cries. Hope discussion. Did Jarie have a hope stopping point, like I did? What love is. Jane's last written words, delivered to Jarie, after Jane dies. Now, how Jarie lives each day, even if it's a shytty day. Try this. Love after Jane. Is soon, too...
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Episode 95: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (2 of 3)
Vaping to cope. THC and CBD. Jane needs Jarie to be her ROCK. Failure lump in Jarie's throat. The feeling…how anxiety and stress manifest themselves. When Jarie, the man who loves a plan, asks himself "How am I going to fix this?" And then realizes "I can't fix this!" Chemotherapy ravages—Jarie...
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Episode 94: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (1 of 3)
If you marry, and mark your day with ceremony, you might include these wedding vows: To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part. Half-easy to recite, but fulfill—a...
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Episode 93: My Husband Died. Damn It. (3 of 3)
Gut-busting, emphatic, grand finale. First, listen someplace where it's safe to pee your pants. Why Susan's Uber driver advises her to lock the hotel door and under no circumstances come out until morning. Pretending all is okay--when it's not. Telling your family to shut the fuctuplets up. Is…
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Episode 92: My Husband Died. Damn It. (2 of 3)
Morphine, ahhhhh. Mark's last days. Wait, what about Sofie, Mark's dying dog? The last goodbye. Mark and Sofie wear American football team Green Bay Packers sweatshirts. From the Woo Woo and Taboo Department: before Susan's birth, her mom bore a son. He died at birth. Like a shameful secret…
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Episode 91: My Husband Died. Damn It. (1 of 3)
Widowed dynamo Susan Yelton jumps into action as my guest co-host in this first episode of a whirl-wind 3 part series. The series makes you: question, agree, cry, laugh, piss you off, shake your head and your fist, say oh my gosh, and holy shyt. Susan even makes me blush! In a later episode we…
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Episode 90: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (3 of 3)
"Are you sitting down?" When you answer your phone and the caller says this, does lousy news always ensue? Kady ruminates over how to deliver bad news to her teen daughter. Grief ambushes Kady. Kady details her what-ifs. Mourning what you thought could be. What Kady believes causes her grief—an...
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Episode 89: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (2 of 3)
Kady gives Mikey an ultimatum. Mother's little helper (the Xanax kind). Granting extra chances (breaking boundaries to stanch your pain and unease?) Kady says, "I don't need a man." Meet Kady's condominium complex busybody matchmaker, aka, Miss Pat. Wisdom from grandma. A suicide threat. Might…
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Episode 88: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (1 of 3)
You might label Kady's Ex a "major dyck head." Today, Kady and her new husband celebrate ten-plus years with two kids—a teen and a five-year-old. (The Ex fathered Kady's teen). And then Kady's Ex dies. Grief ambushes Kady. Secretly grieving, Kady struggles to make sense of it. Embarrassment and...
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Episode 87: LOSS and GRIEF: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals (2 of 2)
Welcome to part 2: Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals, with my guest co-host Linda Klein. Linda is co-editor of the book Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals. I shamelessly ripped off the book's title for the...
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Episode 86: LOSS and GRIEF: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals (1 of 2)
Why do professionals, surrounded by death, loss, and grief, think they must hold their shyt together for their patients, family, and themselves? For years, these professionals have been expected to bury their emotions, suck it up, and move on. Present stoically. No one must know if you seek...
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Episode 85: Available As Is: A Midlife Widow's Search For Love (3 of 3)
Do men only care about this one thing? Putting up with abuse for too long? The Devil you know vs. The Devil you don't. Is online dating a parade of emotionally bankrupt individuals? Reality check: Recovery from losing your spouse… is bloody and painful. Debbie's next devastating loss—her…
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Episode 84: Available As Is: A Midlife Widow's Search For Love (2 of 3)
After George's death, Debbie feels she doesn't deserve a future. Here's how she conquers that poisonous head trash. How colossal loneliness leads to a first intimate encounter. What really helps Debbie. How Debbie gains feedback to repair her life. Life when you are used to being half of a…
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Episode 83: Available As Is: A Midlife Widow's Search For Love (1 of 3)
Widowed guest co-host Debbie Weiss joins us. Debbie is an author and blogger from the San Francisco Bay area. Debbie just published her memoir: Available As Is - A Midlife Widow's Search For Love Since Debbie's high school prom, George is her man. For over 30 years, Debbie and George dine…
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Episode 82: Widowed Dad With A Toddler (3 of 3)
In this final episode, Derek goes back to work and details his challenges as a single dad. Then Derek describes how his impulsive Facebook birthday wishes to a former high school classmate four months after Emily passed, turn into a coffee date…and more. Now, Derek contemplates dating, the timing...
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Episode 81: Widowed Dad With A Toddler (2 of 3)
Deep into treatment, Derek's young wife Emily seeks a second opinion with the world-renowned cancer specialists at MD Anderson in Houston Texas. You'll hear what the doctors say, their plan. How Derek compartmentalizes: One moment he's a husband, the next, he's a caregiver, and at the same time,...
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Episode 80: Widowed Dad With A Toddler (1 of 3)
Newlyweds in their twenties, Derek and Emily dreamt of parenthood with a kid-filled home. For six years, pregnancy eluded Derek and Emily. One afternoon, during the summer of 2019, Emily gives Derek miraculous news "You're going to be a Dad." Infinite joy unleashes. Six months later, it's January...
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Episode 79: My Grief Was Gaslighted (4 of 4)
"How does one recover from narcissistic abuse?" Molly explores the question. You'll hear how, despite the years of psychological abuse, Molly conjures the courage, embodies resilience, and chooses to face her new life to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. When I shared with Molly the words "…to...
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Episode 78: My Grief Was Gaslighted (3 of 4)
Warning: Crash helmet is required for this mind-bending episode because Molly blows the roof off! If you haven't listened to parts 1 and 2, do that first or you'll be lost. Here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2. Elusive puzzle pieces and climactic revelations clearly appear. The breadcrumbs…
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Episode 77: My Grief Was Gaslighted (2 of 4)
In this episode (2 of 4), Molly's husband Dick makes one last-ditch effort to counter his failed treatments and inescapable prognosis. Dick receives a fortuitous referral to visit an eminent cancer doctor specializing in Dick's exact diagnosis. This doctor is at a top research facility...
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Episode 76: My Grief Was Gaslighted (1 of 4)
Widowed guest co-host Molly Murphy joins us. But there's a catch. Molly Murphy isn't her real name. Molly tells her story with an alias, a fake name because she must protect the truly innocent and the potentially guilty. Every widow or widower's story and grief is custom-made. And yes, all our...
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Episode 75: I'm Dating—Hear Me Sign-Up Live for Match.com (2 of 2)
Stumbling and bumbling, Barb Flynn and I finish my Match online dating application. This is part two. If you missed part one, you can click and listen to it here. Barb and I read and comment on actual women's profiles matched to mine. If someday you might consider dating, or if you're already...
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Episode 74: I'm Dating—Hear Me Sign-Up Live for Match.com (1 of 2)
WARNING. This two-part series is R-rated. If curse words and sexual innuendo don't send you running, then stick around. Guest co-host Barb Flynn kindly walks me through the actual live sign-up and setup of the Match.com online dating profile. We set my profile up because after four dates with the...
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Episode 73: Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now? (2 of 2)
Beer-infused evening ramble continues! Barb Flynn and I recorded just twenty-four hours before my upcoming third date with Miss Kayak. In this episode, I share what I believe is the most important part of an online dating profile— the written summary—this is where you say something about…
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Episode 72: Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now? (1 of 2)
Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now? Returning guest co-host Barb Flynn helps set up my online dating profile. Barb's deadpan sense of humor plays well with mine—naturally, we go off into the weeds (figuratively). We discuss gobs! Warning: Barb and I drank beer before and during recording,...
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Episode 71: Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating (2 of 2)
In this final episode of Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating, we pick up where we left off from part one. More Miss Kayak dates! Alcohol dissolves conversation filters. Head trash ups and downs. When should I kiss my date? Head vs. heart—which wins? Are my wardrobe issues irrational? Why you CAN'T...
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Episode 70: Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating (1 of 2)
"Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating" Eight years after my spouse Donna died, I wrote this heartfelt letter to her. In the first of this two-part series, I read the letter—it's about our first date (and how it almost ended in blows), dying, my improbable number one bucket list item, and what Donna...
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Episode 69: Book Recommendations for The Widowed
Four book recommendations for the widowed. Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts. Now, I'm not going to have an author on the show if I won't recommend their book.…
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Episode 68: The Good Widow (4 of 4)
The psychic prediction that came true—Is this mere coincidence? Listen and decide for yourself. After the death of her husband Tris, Jenny describes her first romantic kiss—what she didn't feel, but what she felt. All of a sudden, he got possessive. A switch flips and jerk behavior ensues. The...
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Episode 67: The Good Widow (3 of 4)
Why Jenny feels guilty and embarrassed (about most of her book). Jenny goes on thirty-six first dates. More thoughts on psychic healing. Widowed with stepkids. Your spouse is gone, will your stepkids drift away? The problem with perfectionism. Critical emoji texting etiquette: This emoji will get...
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Episode 66: The Good Widow (2 of 4)
I read essays from Jenny's book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. In one essay, titled Bone Cold, Jenny musters the courage to expose her innermost thoughts—pure raw vulnerability. When I ask Jenny, you'll hear her explain what was really going on when she wrote the piece. You might...
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Episode 65: The Good Widow (1 of 4)
Widowed guest co-host Dr. Jennifer Katz joins us. Dr. Katz is a tenured Professor of Clinical Psychology at the State University of New York at Geneseo. Dr. Katz just published her book: The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. Dr. Katz goes by Jenny. It's August 2018, Jenny and her husband...
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Episode 64: On Bended Knee (3 of 3)
Didn't the world stop when your spouse died? Letting go of friends and family--even if only temporarily. Since your spouse's death, are you more empathic or less or both? Glimpses of how Julie and I parent our respective kids without their respective Dad or Mom. Hint: It's not easy. There's no...
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Episode 63: On Bended Knee (2 of 3)
Julie and the supernatural hummingbirds--can you find comfort in supernatural signs. Are they God sent, serendipity, or something else? Julie and her fiancé John courageously move into a new house together. Fearing adult kid mutinous protest, can Julie and John figure out how to celebrate their...
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Episode 62: On Bended Knee (1 of 3)
Julie Metzger returns and pulls back the curtains for you to see the messiness and beauty in life. Exhausted from years of holding and lifting everybody else up, who's holding Julie up? Who holds you up? Vibes about people—how Julie trusts her gut. Julie's zero-calorie vampire tendencies. Julie…
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Episode 61: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (3 of 3)
Does widowhood define you? A therapist told me that's not so healthy. But when you first meet someone new, how do you introduce yourself? What are your biggest widow fears? Here's ours. Quirky sleeping habits (when no one else shares your bed). What kind of pity might you have for couples with...
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Episode 60: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (2 of 3)
Seven years ago, while on a phone call with his boss, Sherri's husband Greg suddenly died. Sherri wants to call the boss and ask about that call. Can I convince Sherri to call Greg's boss while we record? Sherri reveals why you won't find a framed picture of her boyfriend in her new house.…
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Episode 59: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (1 of 3)
Seven years ago Sherri's husband Greg suddenly died. Today, Sherri lives alone. Can you be single, widowed, and happy? Consequences if you remarry before age 60 (if you are eligible for American social security retirement benefits). Is Sherri's current relationship like high...
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Episode 58: You're Worthy Because You're Alive (3 of 3)
Barry bares his heart and shares his biggest fear. Might this be your fear too? How Barry thinks he comes across on first dates. In other words—why Barry really thinks his first dates don't usually lead to second dates. The sting of rejection. This has nothing to do with transplants. But finding...
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Episode 57: You're Worthy Because You're Alive (2 of 3)
Barry's face glows with promise and hope when he explains what one thing he's working on—building the rest of his life around—where he finds meaning and beauty. You'll also hear about Barry's ninety-day date-cycle. How Barry landed on the roof of a barn. The frustration of six first dates (and no...
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Episode 56: You're Worthy Because You're Alive (1 of 3)
Widower poet Barry Johnson returns! I first met Barry when we recorded about a year ago. Just four months before we recorded, Barry was almost dead. Three months before that recording, Barry's life was saved by a liver transplant. In this episode, Barry makes a confession—I urge you to listen…
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Episode 55: What I Learned (by doing the podcast)
What I've learned by doing more than fifty My Spouse Died Too podcast episodes. Not all-inclusive, just a taste of what I've discovered by talking for hours and hours with courageous widowed guest co-hosts. You'll hear my self-accusations, personality quirks, views on life and death. How I make...
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Episode 54: Comedian Widow: How Dark Humor Eases The Pain
Widowed at twenty-eight, Tawny Platis is the queen of dead husband jokes. Tawny is a comedian, voice actor, and host of the podcast Death Is Hilarious. Tawny's podcast explores how comedians and creatives use comedy and dark humor to cope with grief and trauma through storytelling and jokes. In...
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Episode 53: The Rebellious Widow (3 of 3)
The Rebellious Widow Jill Johnson-Young packs this final episode with personal experience and generous professional advice. What you'll discover… Stacie the Mortician—Jill's new (and current) love connection. The reticent minister who refused to officiate Jill's next wedding, and the baseless...
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Episode 52: The Rebellious Widow (2 of 3)
Part 2 of The Rebellious Widow with guest co-host, twice-widowed author, therapist, Mom, and entrepreneur Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW. Taste Part 2: How Casper comes back into the scene and what she asked Jill's Mom. How to break the widow rules so you can live life on your terms without guilt and...
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Episode 51: The Rebellious Widow (1 of 3)
Jill Johnson-Young guest co-hosts. Jill is an internationally known grief therapist, Mom, author, entrepreneur, and LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). While in her 40's, Jill lost her first wife Linda. Then, Jill lost her second wife Casper. Casper was first wife Linda's hospice nurse. And...
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Episode 50: Three and a Half Years Since (4 of 4)
Got psychotherapy? Freud's field day on the couch. Tim revisits a childhood memory. Over and over and over. The last time we made love. Tim recollects. Covid loneliness. Emeric struggles. The first thing you should do each morning, no matter what. Prescribed by a world-renowned clinical...
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Episode 49: Three and a Half Years Since (3 of 4)
Three and a Half Years Since (3 of 4). The marriage question—are you all in? I wonder why my widowed friends say they'll never marry again. And does that mean they'll never be 100% "all-in" on any relationship? Who was sleeping with the librarian? Three and a half years since Donna died, what's...
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Episode 48: Three and a Half Years Since (2 of 4)
Three and a Half Years Since (2 of 4). How not to end a relationship—Never do this chicken shyt thing. Was I right to be judgy? Why Tim mourned after his very first date. SCIENCE! The science of dating: Got chemistry? When will your family be ready to see you with another woman or man? Tim's...
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Episode 47: Three and a Half Years Since (1 of 4)
Previous widowed-guest co-host Tim Schneider returns and updates us. What life is like now—three and a half years since his spouse Donna died. How Covid-19 relieved Tim. Introducing Ziggy and Georgia, the two naked ladies in the basement. Tim gets set up on a blind date by an obvious Yenta—Tim's...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!
HOSTED BY
Emeric McCleary, Widower
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does My Spouse Died Too have?
My Spouse Died Too currently has 97 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is My Spouse Died Too about?
The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!
How often does My Spouse Died Too release new episodes?
My Spouse Died Too has 97 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to My Spouse Died Too?
You can listen to My Spouse Died Too on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts My Spouse Died Too?
My Spouse Died Too is created and hosted by Emeric McCleary, Widower.
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