Needed to Hear That!

Title:What Actually Recharges You?Show Notes:On this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Pondoff start off dodging storms and talking about hail damage—but quickly land somewhere deeper: burnout, compassion fatigue, and the quiet question a lot of people don’t know how to answer...what actually helps you feel like yourself again?They unpack the difference between real self-care and the watered-down version we see online, and why something as simple as sitting in bed watching TV with someone you love might be more meaningful than anything that looks “productive.”There’s also an honest look at:- Why people in helping roles, recovery, or caregiving roles get drained—and how that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with them- The fear of being “selfish”…and how that fear keeps people stuck- Why starting therapy, asking for help, or making any real change can be messy, slow, and full of false starts- The pressure to optimize everything—even rest—and why that backfires- How many people don’t actually know what they enjoy anymore…and how to start figuring that outAlong the way, they talk about codependency, boundaries, recovery, therapy, and the strange reality that doing something good for yourself can sometimes feel scarier than helping someone else.This one’s less about fixing everything and more about noticing what gives you energy, what drains it, and whether you’ve ever really been given permission to find out.Key Moments:- Storm talk, selfish prayers, and real-life perspective- Feedback on the podcast and being present- Compassion fatigue in recovery and helping spaces- What self-care actually means, and why people hate the term- Fear of being selfish vs. learning to take care of yourself- Why therapy and change take multiple tries- The importance of small wins: making the call, showing up, trying again- What it means to like something vs. wanting to be liked- Finding simple ways to recharge and learning to trust themSponsors:McKelvey Insurance Grouphttp://mckelveyins.comCall Evan McKelvey at 618-623-0080LightSourcehttp://findyourlightsource.com

Today on Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about spirituality, recovery, humility, and the parts of healing that can feel genuinely terrifying.After a trip to Asheville for the Addiction Professionals of North Carolina conference, the conversation moves from treatment work and the helpers who keep showing up, to the danger of building our own beliefs by tearing someone else’s down. They talk about recovery programs, therapy styles, 12-step language, Buddhism, higher power, surrender, and why words like “powerless” can feel scary before they feel freeing.The episode also gets into spiritual humility — the idea that maybe the whole point is not pretending to have it all figured out. From the symbolism of Hotei Buddha to the fear and mystery inside religious and spiritual practice, this one is about learning to sit with what we don’t know, and maybe realizing we already carry more than we think.Also discussed:- Asheville, APNC, and Christian Slater- Being educated by the people you’re trying to help- Why bad experiences don’t always define an entire treatment center- CBT, Buddhism, and spiritual immaturity- 12-step recovery and fear around “God language”- Powerlessness, surrender, and the scariest day of getting help- Sacred daily rituals- One day at a time as more than white-knucklingThe Pondoff’s Anonymous Podcast Network is sponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group.Visit https://mckelveyins.comThis episode of Needed to Hear That is brought to you by LightSource Psychotherapy.Visit http://findyourlightsource.com

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Pondoff get into what it really means to take young people seriously. The conversation starts with trauma, recovery, and the power of hope, then moves into the emotional world of adolescents, where heartbreak, rejection, friendship, identity, and social pressure can feel absolutely massive...because to them, they are. Instead of brushing that off as drama or rebellion, Chaz makes the case that these years are full of real pain, real development, and real opportunities to listen better.They also talk about therapy as a safe space, why authenticity matters with teens, how social media turns ordinary struggles into public ones, and why labeling everything as “rebellion” misses the point. This one is for parents, helpers, recovering former teenagers, and anybody who could use a better framework for understanding what young people are actually going through.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Its Purpose01:59 Stories of Trauma and Recovery04:45 Creating Safe Spaces for Healing07:51 The Importance of Hope in Recovery10:53 Understanding Adolescent Emotions17:08 Navigating Teenage Relationships25:23 The Impact of Social Media on Youth32:02 The Role of Authenticity in Therapy39:47 Understanding Adolescent Rebellion42:04 The Role of Therapy in Adolescent Development46:44 Redefining Rebellion: A Developmental Perspective49:45 The Adolescent Brain: Myths and Realities52:21 Navigating Young Adulthood: Lessons from Experience01:01:51 The Importance of Listening to Young VoicesSponsors:McKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://www.mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapyhttps://findyourlightsource.com

In this episode, Chris and Chaz start with the very real aftermath of Chaz and Holly’s car accident, then turn that moment into something bigger: a conversation about why stories matter. They talk about family stories, the people who make us feel seen, the way self-compassion can change the stories we tell about ourselves, and why testimony, spirituality, and recovery all depend on honest human connection. It’s a thoughtful, grounded episode about how we make meaning out of chaos...and how sharing our stories can help other people feel less alone.Shout out to our sponsors:McKelvey Insurance Grouphttp://www.mckelveyins.com/LightSourcehttps://findyourlightsource.com/Timestamps:00:00 The Car Accident Experience08:38 The Importance of Storytelling15:22 Lessons from Family Storytelling22:15 The Impact of Interest in Others29:06 Navigating Personal Stories and Self-Compassion33:18 Reflections on Personal Stories and Legacy36:29 The Importance of Sharing Stories39:58 The Power of Personal Testimonies42:05 Storytelling in Spirituality and Religion47:41 The Role of Story in Recovery52:52 The Evolution of Personal Narratives57:22 Universal Themes in Human Stories01:01:10 The Need for Connection Through Storytelling

Some commitments are loud, but the ones that change us most are often quiet. In this conversation, Chaz and Chris reflect on sobriety, grace, and the small daily choices that keep us pointed toward the life we want to live. What unfolds is a grounded look at how real change happens—not through perfection or speed, but through ordinary acts of returning, again and again, to what matters most.They explore self-care beyond the buzzword, talking honestly about burnout, community, spiritual practice, shame, and the long process of learning what it actually feels like to be yourself. This episode is a reminder that healing is rarely a straight line, and that recommitment is not failure—it is often the deepest form of courage.00:00 Celebrating Commitment: A Journey of Sobriety05:48 The Nature of Commitment: Grace and Action12:29 Crawling Before Running: The Importance of Small Steps18:40 Self-Care: A Commitment to Understanding Yourself24:07 The Power of Incremental Change: Building Resilience30:23 Finding Joy: Rediscovering What Makes You Happy37:39 Exploring Movement and Self-Connection40:06 The Importance of Community and Trying New Things43:40 Spiritual Practices and Their Accessibility45:50 The Healing Power of Returning to Self56:23 Recommitment and Overcoming Shame01:01:20 The Challenge of Committing to Less01:07:22 Finding Simplicity in Self-CareThanks to our sponsors, McKelvey Insurance — https://www.mckelveyins.comand LightSource Psychotherapy — https://www.findyourlightsource.com

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz and Chris get into a heavy but deeply helpful conversation about parenting fears, attachment, shame, secrecy, vulnerability, and the kind of consistency people need in order to feel safe.They start with the fear that can come with loving a child in a world where addiction and mental health struggles are real, and talk about what it means to be a steady, safe presence for the people you love. From there, the conversation moves into the deeper emotional terrain of secrecy and shame, how those experiences get carried for years, and why being seen by the right people can begin to loosen their grip.Later, Chaz unpacks the difference between guilt and shame, why secrecy can become part of a person’s identity, and how vulnerability gets blocked when someone believes that being fully known would mean being rejected. Chris brings it back to recovery, connection, and community, naming how isolation feeds addiction while honest connection helps people heal.This episode is thoughtful, grounded, and full of insight about what helps people feel safe enough to come out of hiding, stay connected, and keep moving toward healing.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships01:44 Parenting Fears and Conversations on Addiction15:56 The Impact of Secrets and Shame29:04 Vulnerability vs. Shame54:57 The Importance of Community and AvailabilitySponsors:Needed to Hear That is sponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group and LightSource.McKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://www.mckelveyins.comCall Evan McKelvey at 618-623-0080LightSourcehttps://findyourlightsource.com

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris and Chaz talk about what therapy actually looks like, especially for people who have thought about reaching out but still feel unsure, intimidated, or not “bad enough” to ask for help.They get into why asking for help can feel so hard, what a healthy therapy process can look like, and how the right therapist helps you move carefully, not forcefully. Chaz also explains the philosophy behind LightSource, including the lantern in its branding and the idea of becoming “a lamp unto yourself,” illuminating one next step at a time instead of trying to light up everything at once.Later, the conversation turns practical. Chris asks the kinds of questions a lot of people have but don’t always know how to say out loud, like how specialties work, what kinds of therapy different clinicians offer, whether brainspotting is actually invasive, what level of care makes sense for different situations, and why it’s ok to leave therapy, come back, and not carry shame about that.It’s a thoughtful conversation about self-trust, support, attunement, pace, and giving people better language for taking that first step.Timestamps:00:00 Sponsor: McKelvey Insurance Group00:41 Intro and table talk02:08 Chris admits he’s feeling off03:25 Sports, grief, and emotional honesty06:09 Why this episode matters07:27 Normalizing hard conversations09:21 The “blue vest” metaphor11:15 How do we ask for help?11:45 Becoming “a lamp unto yourself”12:42 The LightSource lantern and what it means14:08 Why asking for help feels hard16:21 Why LightSource wants people to find therapy, not just their therapy18:09 Why therapy itself matters20:00 Your reasons for seeking help are valid21:26 Do therapists have specialties?23:06 What brainspotting actually is24:17 Is it still talk therapy?24:33 What are your eyes following?24:57 It’s not invasive26:32 Activated vs triggered28:19 Chris jokes about intense hockey coach therapy29:10 Dissociation and how the mind protects itself31:47 Therapy should be uncomfortable, not unsafe34:23 Matching people to the right kind of care35:39 Addiction, outpatient therapy, and higher levels of care37:54 What happens in crisis situations41:38 Psychiatrist vs therapist44:14 Meeting people where they are46:53 Why it’s hard to ask for what you need in therapy49:26 You can stop therapy and come back50:30 The shame people feel about returning54:05 What to look for in a therapist55:19 Therapy is about you57:47 Talking around the real thing01:00:45 Why therapists respect the process01:02:28 “Is there anything we haven’t been talking about that we should?”01:05:16 Why this work matters01:06:11 Chris makes the case that everybody should have a therapist01:09:19 Therapy as high risk, slow reward01:11:47 Closing thoughtsSponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group:This episode is sponsored by McKelvey Insurance Group. If you’ve ever felt confused or overwhelmed by insurance, McKelvey Insurance Group keeps it simple. They’re an independent agency, which means they compare options from multiple providers to find coverage that actually fits you, not just one company’s policy. No pressure, no jargon, just honest guidance and real help. Get a quick quote or a policy review at mckelveyins.com or call 618-623-0080.

In this episode of Needed to Hear That, Chris Pondoff and Chaz Franke take a thoughtful, honest look at loneliness, not just as being alone, but as the painful feeling of being unseen, misunderstood, unrelatable, or cut off from real belonging.Chris and Chaz explore the courage it takes to stay open after being hurt, why belonging matters so deeply, and how safety in relationships can help people come out of isolation. They also unpack the difference between loneliness, isolation, and solitude, and why connection is not about how many people are around you, but whether you actually feel known.Later in the conversation, they get practical. They talk about how to show up for someone without trying to fix everything, why presence matters so much, and how curiosity can become a real antidote to loneliness. One of the most helpful takeaways in the episode is a simple question for supporting someone well: do you need me to hear, help, or just be here with you?If you’ve been feeling disconnected, emotionally worn down, or unsure how to support someone you care about, this episode is a grounded conversation about belonging, vulnerability, and what it means to help another person feel a little less alone.Chapters00:00 Conference Insights on Child Advocacy06:15 The Importance of Community and Connection14:44 Exploring Loneliness and Belonging23:00 Understanding the Depth of Loneliness31:43 Courage in Vulnerability and Connection42:06 The Power of Presence and Listening44:13 Understanding Loneliness and Connection49:15 Navigating Relationships and Vulnerability55:25 The Challenges of Adolescence and Belonging01:00:05 Curiosity as a Tool Against Loneliness01:21:51 Closing Thoughts on Connection and HumanitySponsorsMcKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapyhttps://findyourlightsource.com

Grief Isn’t Linear: Ambiguous Loss, Overdose Stigma, and the Power of Small StepsGrief has a way of showing up everywhere—after a death, a breakup, a diagnosis, a job change, even in the quiet after a life you thought would look different. In this episode, Chaz and Chris sit with the reality that loss is woven into the human experience, and that so much of healing is learning to stop rushing the process. They talk about why “moving on” language misses the point, how anniversaries can hit unexpectedly hard, and why grief doesn’t shrink just because you find yourself smiling again.They also explore the layers that make certain kinds of grief harder to name—disenfranchised grief, ambiguous loss, and the grief that comes with addiction and overdose, where stigma often adds another wound. The conversation closes with grounded, practical encouragement for anyone feeling stuck: you don’t have to go from zero to sixty. Sometimes the most life-changing thing you can do is take one small, safe step toward support.00:00 — Sponsors01:26 — Why Grief Keeps Showing Up08:23 — Losing Grandma (Real Life Grief)10:05 — Anniversaries Hit Hard16:55 — Overdose, Language, Stigma24:09 — Platitudes & Blame30:19 — Mortality Wake-Up Call33:52 — Guilt, Anger, The Inventory44:51 — Chris: Losing Tom49:00 — “Dog In A Trap” Compassion56:22 — Breakups, Divorce, Grief01:13:53 — Grieving The Living (Ambiguous Loss)01:16:19 — Finding Grief Support01:22:22 — Small Steps Forward01:27:56 — Closing + SponsorsThanks to our sponsors, McKelvey Insurance — https://www.mckelveyins.comand LightSource Psychotherapy — https://www.findyourlightsource.com

Shame, Grace & the Healing Power of Being Truly Heard | Authenticity, 12 Steps & TherapyThere’s a quiet but powerful shift that happens when we move from shame to grace. In this episode, we unpack the difference between guilt and shame, why behavior change built on criticism rarely lasts, and how grace creates the safety necessary for real transformation. From body image and self-perception to the deeply human need to be seen without judgment, this conversation explores what it actually takes to live authentically—especially when parts of our story feel heavy or hard to share.We also dive into the 12 Steps as a change model, the liberating experience of forgiveness, and the role therapy plays as a container for healing. Through stories of humility, active listening, unconditional positive regard, and the tension between validation and enabling, we reflect on what it means to create safe spaces—for others and for ourselves. At its core, this episode is about learning to extend compassion inward, trusting that even our most flawed moments don’t disqualify us from belonging.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships02:54 Body Image and Self-Perception06:02 Shame vs. Guilt in Health Discussions09:01 The Role of Grace in Authenticity11:55 Sharing Personal Stories and Vulnerability15:05 Experiencing Grace and Forgiveness18:03 Non-Judgmental Living and Spiritual Insights21:01 The 12 Steps as a Change Model26:23 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness32:00 Experiencing Humility and Self-Compassion37:46 The Journey of Self-Forgiveness48:09 Therapy: A Space for Healing and Growth57:19 Authentic Validation vs. Enabling Behavior58:09 The Authenticity of Listening in Therapy01:01:46 The Pressure of Parental Expectations in Therapy01:05:08 The Power of Active Listening01:09:56 Unconditional Positive Regard in Therapy01:14:54 The Importance of Authenticity in Therapeutic Relationships01:19:46 Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability01:25:44 The Role of Ego in Helping Professions01:28:38 Common Humanity and Self-CompassionThanks to our sponsors,McKelvey InsuranceandLightSource Psychotherapy

Reckless Generosity, Grief, and the People Who Hold Us When We FallSponsored byMcKelvey Insurancehttps://www.mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapyhttps://findyourlightsource.comEpisode DescriptionWhat does it really mean to be generous without losing yourself in the process?In this episode, Chaz and Pondoff talk about reckless generosity, grief, vulnerability, mentorship, and the people who hold us up when life gets heavy. The idea of “reckless generosity” becomes a starting point for exploring how giving can be deeply human and life-giving, while also requiring boundaries and support to be sustainable.The conversation moves through grief and loss, including why grief doesn’t follow neat stages, why meaning can’t be forced, and how community can be both healing and complicated. There’s an honest look at vulnerability, especially for people who are known for being “strong,” and how asking for help can feel harder than enduring pain alone.Mentorship and friendship take center stage as well, highlighting the importance of safe people, emotional support, and the quiet power of not having to go through life alone. From recovery spaces to everyday relationships, this episode is a reminder that healing happens best in connection.Chapters00:00 – The Power of Generosity11:25 – Understanding Grief and Loss16:52 – Building Community and Relationships20:07 – The Importance of Vulnerability32:08 – The Role of Mentorship54:07 – Friendship and Emotional Support

Needed to Hear That — Episode 2: Change Is Hard Because It’s HumanHosted by Chaz Franke & Chris PondoffIn Episode 2 of Needed to Hear That, Chaz Franke and Chris Pondoff sit with one of the most universal—and uncomfortable—realities of being human: change. From addiction and recovery to mental health, relationships, careers, and grief, this conversation explores why change is so hard, why resistance is normal, and why compassion matters more than pressure.Chaz brings his clinical and spiritual perspective to unpack impermanence, the stages of change, and the quiet heroism of simply showing up—especially when life feels overwhelming. Chris grounds the conversation in lived experience, recovery, and community, reflecting on how growth requires patience, humility, and a willingness to try again.This episode isn’t about forcing transformation. It’s about honoring timing, recognizing courage in small steps, and reminding listeners that struggling doesn’t mean failing—it means being human. If you’re navigating change, resisting it, or exhausted by it, this may be something you needed to hear.Key Themes & TakeawaysWhy humans are biologically and emotionally wired to resist changeThe difference between maintenance and complacency in recoveryImpermanence as both a source of fear and hopeWhy “just stop” is never a helpful interventionThe stages of change and how we move through them non-linearlyCompassion for people stuck in difficult jobs, relationships, or mental health strugglesTherapy as a long-term container for healing and self-understandingSmall steps as legitimate, heroic acts of changeWriting, reflection, and gentleness as tools for growthChapters00:00 — Introduction & the heart behind Needed to Hear That14:56 — The challenge of change in recovery24:04 — Understanding the nature of change30:54 — Impermanence and what it means to be human38:00 — The resilience of the human spirit43:38 — Therapeutic relationships and long-term healing50:50 — Stages of change: preparation, action, maintenance01:02:44 — Compassion in the face of struggle01:07:42 — Writing as a tool for reflection and growthFinal ThoughtChange doesn’t require perfection. It requires patience, safety, and often—other people walking alongside us. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is take the smallest possible step and trust that it counts.Sponsored by McKelvey Insurancehttp://mckelveyins.com

In this first episode of Needed to Hear That, Chaz Franke and Chris Pondoff introduce a new kind of conversation.Less about dramatic turning points, more about what it actually means to be human… grief, connection, therapy, and the quiet work of healing that happens in between the big moments.This show is a space to slow down, reflect, and talk honestly about the things most of us carry but don’t always have language for.If Pondoff’s Anonymous is about the story, Needed to Hear That is about what comes next.In this episode: Why this show exists and how it’s different The story of Diego, a three-legged dog who became an unexpected teacher Grief as something we carry, not something we “get over” Why pets often feel easier to love, and harder to lose How loss shows up in recovery and mental health The importance of connection, shared stories, and being heard Therapy as a lifelong learning process Creating safe spaces for honest conversation Loneliness, isolation, and what they do to us What a Death Cafe is, and why talking about death can help us live betterChapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Show 01:33 The Launch of Needed to Hear That 02:52 The Story of Diego: A Three-Legged Teacher 06:40 Navigating Grief and Loss 12:02 The Uncomplicated Love of Pets 18:04 The Impact of Grief on Recovery 23:54 Finding Connection Through Shared Stories 29:55 The Importance of Lifelong Learning in Therapy 43:57 The Importance of Therapy 44:30 Navigating Grief and Loss 46:15 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy 49:27 The Role of Connection in Healing 52:01 Understanding Loneliness and Isolation 01:00:00 The Death Cafe: A Space for Conversations on Death 01:10:35 Closing Thoughts on Healing and HumanitySponsors:This show is sponsored by people who support the work without needing the spotlight.McKelvey InsuranceIndependent insurance guidance from people who actually pick up the phone.https://www.mckelveyins.comLightSource PsychotherapyThoughtful, human-centered therapy with clinicians who take your story seriously.https://findyourlightsource.comIf you’ve ever listened to a powerful story and thought, “Yeah… but now what?” — Needed to Hear That is for you.