PODCAST · sports
No Crying In Baseball
by Voxtopica
When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.
Episodes
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Moment of Poof
Jonathan Aranda has exceptional qHAR as well as winning the most improved vs the Evil Empire award. Chase’s walk up gets customized, and he has an exceptional birthday. We bid farewell to Kyle, Caleb (who gets a stern talking to), Spencer and Drake, both of the sad puppy dog eyes. José’s golf…
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The Important Thing is the Roof is Open Today
Roofs over ballparks, retractable or not, are in play this postseason, and ‘in play’ enough that they may change the course of a game. Weird that the AmFam Field ground rules have us complimenting the Trop on something, but here we are. Adley’s team is out and Pottymouth has a lot to say about…
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Look at All the Problems We’re Solving Today
Let’s tick them off: We reframed the whole Grand Tetons situation into how ‘bout you just play baseball in existing ballparks where you can see a national park from your seats? WAS, KC. etc.? In honor of her incredible performance in Game 5 of the WPBL finals, we’ve named pitching a complete…
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Clenching, not Clinching
The postseason bracket is coming into focus but we needed to shed some light on another race – the voting for the Roberto Clemente Award. Please vote as it is important to recognize the whole person, the community outreach, the giving back, and the character of our favorite players. Pay attention...
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We Don’t Have Time for all the Syllables
Patti and Pottymouth are back in the studio at last. Pottymouth is batting clean up on her fantasy team – when did all these changes happen? Patti shows personal growth regarding Adley on that other team. Your hosts’ bfs Sal and Kaz share a pretty cool rookie stat but is Kaz really a rookie? MIL...
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Epic Baseball Road Trip: The Origin Story
Patti and Pottymouth are back from our Epic Baseball Road Trip and are unpacking and remembering how to go to work or learning how to be retired, respectively. While we take a minute, we thought we'd share with you the inspiration for the adventure. Back in January, we had the honor of…
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Dippin’ Dots in Little Helmets for Everybody!
That’s our big thank you wish for all the fun and support on the Epic Baseball Road Trip. 8 ballparks, 10 beds, 2799 miles, a handful of breweries, wineries, and distilleries, one amazing day with Bob at the NLBM, one Scottish play, one evening of Mozart and Frank Zappa, more cheese than should…
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We are Not a Curse on the Home Team. Anymore.
We are over 1700 miles in to our approximately 2500 mile road trip. Today’s show covers the crazy game in MIL, our two game visit to Springfield to see the WPBL in action, and two games in Kansas City. MIL gave us an historic shut out, a tornado warning, and a “throwing error” for the ages. On…
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Because, Midwest
Lovely humans. Yes it’s our first episode from the Epic Baseball Road Trip: CLE, DET, CHI edition. We give you the NCiB takes on Progressive Field, Comerica Park, and Wrigley Field. What are pierogi nachos, really? Yes we care that the bathrooms are just that good. No, in fact “good” beer is NOT...
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Good at Loyalty, Bad at Fantasy Baseball
It’s a good day when Pottymouth can work “Durbinator” into a sentence. Patti, like parents of dogs, cats, and small humans all over Baltimore, cannot quit Adley so she will be making questionable if not terrible roster decisions. Luis is mentoring Justin, Salvy is impressed by very strong Jac…
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Tiny Cups of Tequila
It’s really the only way to cope with the trade deadline. Lots to cover in this super-sized episode, only partly fueled by very delicious (organic!) tequila. The big news was supposed to be Tarik Skubal, for which Patti doesn’t fault the LAD, she faults everyone else. The gut punch was once and...
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A Practical Thing to Knock on When the Knocking Gets Tough
Yeah, well, our teams killed each other’s streaks so we’re moving on to the trade deadline.While the Mead/Early trade got things kicked off, the big target is Skubal. Grady and the Rays set a record for a HS draft pick, but sometimes a water gun will do. Salvy sets a Royals franchise record, Kaz...
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We’ve got Hot and We’ve got Interesting
That described the two longest active winning streaks and coincidentally our two favorite teams, one of which was going down shortly after recording. More wood was knocked upon. Patti’s got two players of the week on her boyfriend roster, congrats to Drake and WIlyer. Several of our guys made…
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How Have You Not Knocked on Wood?
Everyone knows you can’t just talk about a streak without following it up with a protective action. Sure, you all know how the Home Run Derby turned out but we recorded the day before so you get the joy of our terrible predictions. We have some do it for Venezuela, some home field advantage, and...
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Is Throwing a Helmet Worse Than Throwing a Slur?
Pottymouth does not disappoint bringing you the Cavalli-Contreras rant you’ve been waiting for. Putting it firmly in the larger context of the devastating earthquake in Venezuela, Contreras’ home country, we walk through the “brush,” the slur that came awfully easily to Cavalli, and the ensuing...
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Which Fans Don’t You Want?
That’s the question posed by Kurt Weaver, the Executive Director of You Can Play, regarding how Pride events are handled in sports. Read more here, after the finger pointing, the absence of leadership, and the spin. The deadly earthquakes in Venezuela hit the baseball world hard. Venezuelan…
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Rainbow Flags in the Glove Compartment
Keep them everywhere, like ibuprofen. You never know when you need them. We have thoughts about Giants pitchers, DOJ and Attorneys General wasting taxpayer dollars on non issues, bigotry having consequences, and the chance for Book Club Girl to say Pride and Prejudice on a baseball podcast. The...
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We Can See Your Whole Face Now
That’s right, it’s Happy Retirement Week for Pottymouth – from her day job, not the pod! But that means a little less incognito. If there’s a beer in front of her face, it is because she’s drinking it, not hiding behind it. We’ve got some multihomer bfs this week, including one where others…
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Stop the Timid
Embrace the game! Stop your timid, even if it means running into the outfield wall. Twice. Josh Rojas has a minor league hit and a major league hit in the same day, in the form of an SAT question. Kazuma goes Tex Mex, adding a little Country with the quesadilla. Bello goes a little Devers. Matt...
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Hey Cage Fighters, Get Off My Lawn
We crosstrain with the Fascist-in-Chief tearing up the South Lawn of the White House in order to host a UFC event in honor of his own birthday and to celebrate America 250. Because nothing says patriotism, etc. Pottymouth finally gets Blaze on the roster, maybe a day late but it will be great and...
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Stay True to your Superhero Lore
We’re pretty sure Batman doesn’t mean what Nathan Lukes thinks it means. The Password is up for PIT and the Username is in Maine. Nick surpasses Rickey’s streak. Other Nick debuts in front of home town crowd. James Frickin Wood scores a real inside the park GS (sorry, JJ). Everybody loves Salvy,...
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62 or 12, You Make the Call
Welcome to the episode where we embrace retirement age and a respect for poetry at the same time our inner 12 year olds attempt to discuss cockfighting with the seriousness it deserves. That’s right, in the same hour we reference NPR and the National Baseball Poetry Festival, and Edwin Diaz and…
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Loose and Crackly
Tarik may have had loose bodies removed from his elbow but Patti’s pitching flock remains in shambles. Our boyfriends are getting beaned, sometimes by the aforementioned flock member. We don’t care for it, and yet what happened to warnings? Pottymouth catches us up on her overabundance of…
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Super Helpful for the Mental
We have streaks, and streaks that have been struck, and hello new guy, and some monster home runs fueled by quesadillas. Patti preps you for collective bargaining which should start Any Day Now. And she wants you to do some homework by reading this piece in the Athletic if you want to get all...
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Purge, Refill, Repeat
Is it the rant on the Boston massacre or an overview of the Cyclones’ Weenie Weekend? Take your pick, we’ve got both. Buckle up, Pottymouth has takes. Adley is back and he brought his bat, James spoils a debut, and Ben MacDonald has a UFO moment. The Mexico Series brought a split for SD and ARI,...
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Pope-a-Palooza
In which we consider the logistics of the CWS-branded pope hat giveaway. Are they inappropriate? Are they too tall to see over? What are the optics if pope hat-wearing fans brawl? Alas, it’s not for us to determine first hand, but we do get in an inadvertent “holy crap.” In the boyfriend report…
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Disco, but in a Good Way
It's the episode you didn’t know you needed. Patti and the Pottymouth review all eight new City Connect uniforms at one time. A+ for Baltimore and San Diego, who are both two for two (if we round up). The Os design leans hard into what makes Camden Yards great and an understanding of the…
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Maybelle Blair Brought Out the Sun
Drake Baldwin got mentioned in the same sentence as Henry Aaron, and Pottymouth invited Justin Crawford’s mom for vegan cheesesteaks. Carter overslept, Matt got salty, and Chase got the singalong started. We didn’t call it Police Blotter, but Jo robbed three home runs in one game. There’s a…
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Bad at Math, Good at Superstition
Join us as we try not to overreact to the small sample size that is Opening Weekend. The kids are definitely alright – rookie BFs Sal, Justin, Chase, and JJ are doing us proud. Dom hits a grand slam that hits especially hard, and Freddie hugs it out. The police blotter features LAD making a bad...
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A Labor of Love
Welcome to the 10th season of No Crying in Baseball! We appreciate those of you who have been with us since the beginning, those we’ve collected along the way, and we welcome you who are just joining in. It’s also the week of our favorite national holiday, Opening Day. That means it is time for…
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Not Just the Espresso Boys
We love the WBC so much and it’s not just for the espresso shot cellies or the hair that goes poof when a batting helmet comes off, but it could be. We are dismayed at the military overtones that Team USA embraces, and are pretty peeved about a specific Navy Seal brought in to the clubhouse to…
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So Much Sportswatching
The World Baseball Classic is testing the limits of our attention spans and our channel surfing. We are loving the father-son stories, the espresso shots, the real estate agents, the moms and high school kids, and all the Kims, and are wondering where the politics went. In our last boyfriend…
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A Little More Hubba Bubba
It’s our second to last boyfriend week of the off-season so we’ve got some Yankees and some Phillies to talk about. For NYY, All signs pointed to Jorbeet in Orbeet for Pottymouth, and how could Patti resist a big man who can fly and cook? Pottymouth dives into a next gen situation for the Phils…
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Hey New Guy, I don’t Even Know What Team You’re On
That’s right, spring training games have started and we’re getting alerts about players we don’t know. First though, we’ve got a legit scandal crossed with police blotter and wrapped in labor. Pottymouth is already a man down with her ARI boyfriend heading over to B’more. New boyfriends this week...
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Six Degrees of Bad Bunny
You can keep your Kevin Bacon, we are practically related to Bad Bunny. I mean, we stood next to Ronald Acuña Jr once and he was in the casita so here we are. Nick is off to unbutton his jersey in San Diego, where they also are not a beer league. Kiké continues his one year at a time pace with…
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The Scorecard Said Rojo and I’m Looking at Verde
It was a visually confusing finale for Serie del Caribe what with the Mexico on Mexico naming convention not matching the jersey situation. And then no jerseys to be had because, well, tariffs. In other major international tournament news, when it rains it tropical storms for Puerto Rico. Here’s...
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Hi, Your Son is My Boyfriend
This is not the first time we’ve selected baseball boyfriends because of their moms, but this may be the first time we’ve concocted a plan to bring them beer in person. This week we talk HOU and NYM. For the Astros, Pottymouth picks the mom in the stands reminding him to run and Patti chooses the...
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Quality, Post-Shoveling Resuscitation
Patti and the Pottymouth warm up with some baseball talk and hot toddies after attempting to shovel the snowcrete encrusting our respective sidewalks. We profile players from Detroit and Cincinnati, stops on our still theoretical epic midwestern summer road trip. For Detroit, Pottymouth goes for...
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A Healthy, Clean-Living, Mood Enhancer
No, we don’t mean us, we mean the PWHL, where Patti crosstrained with their “Takeover Tour” and helped set an attendance record for US women’s hockey this weekend. Our bfs this week, from Kansas City and San Francisco, are all all young guys doing good in the world and on the field. Pottymouth...
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I Literally Walked into What Would Become My Passion - Interview with Bob Kendrick
Bob Kendrick, President of the National Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, joins us for a conversation ranging from touring his childhood hero, Henry Aaron, through the museum, to the incorporation of Negro League statistics into MLB stats, the rebirth of the Indianapolis Clowns, Toni Stone, the...
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We All Wanted to Be Henry Aaron
We had the great honor of talking with Bob Kendrick, President of the National Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, which, in his words, “is one of the nation’s most preeminent social justice civil rights institutions – it’s just seen through the lens of baseball.” We share a few of Bob’s stories in…
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A Little Florida Confusing
We did not plan to go all Florida in this episode but you can’t fight the rankings. For the Rays, Pottymouth picks Jonathan Aranda of the excellent qHAR and Kirk friendship, and Patti goes sexy defense and trustworthy babysitter Carson Williams. For MIA, Pottymouth selects Jakob Marsee and his…
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Kinda Fun, Kinda Cute, or Cultural Appropriation?
In which our boyfriend profiles reference the chicken dance, churning butter, ballers, and something nice to look at. Welcome to (not the Sacramento) Athletics and Cardinals week. The long strange trip of Anthony Rendon is finally over. He may have been why we changed the rules on forever...
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A Sliding Scale of Villany
The road trip season has pushed us back a day but here we are squeezing in a show between Chanukah and Christmas. Vocabulary lessons this week include Competitive Balance Tax, because the Luxury Tax isn’t just for Monopoly anymore, and Prospect Promotion Incentive (PPI). Just because it's the...
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I Can Feel Everybody’s Dreams, Everybody’s Hopes
Brittany Apgar, professional baseball player, newly drafted to the WPBL’s LA team, joins us to talk heroes and villains, origin stories, and finding your true self in the face of others telling you who you should be. Patti may have just found an LA baseball team to get behind. Another LA baseball...
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Wake up, Sit up, and Pay Attention
On this week’s show we crosstrain with the NBA, the PWHL, the WNBA, and cats. We tell you exactly what you need to win for a share of the pre-arbitration bonus pool and Pottymouth makes a case for a similar pay equity system for public servants. As both of your hosts are public servants, we…
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Every Single Sport That Exists
Clara Rice “technically” played eight sports in high school and “also baseball” outside of school so how could she not be part of the WPBL’s first draft class? She’s been crosstraining her whole life for this. Don’t worry though, she’s down to just two sports in her junior year of college, and...
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What the Air Feels Like, What the Ground Feels Like
It’s rare you can watch a dream come true in real time. We’ve been following Paloma Benach’s career as part of DC Girls Baseball, captaining her high school varsity team, and more along the way. And now we had the pleasure of speaking with her as a professional baseball player – making history in...
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Kiké and Harry, Separated at Birth?
And we thought they were only connected by wearing LAD caps. But no, Kiké Hernandez apologies to all of Puerto Rico from his hospital bed for having to miss the WBC due to shoulder surgery. Just last week his twin, Prince Harry, was apologizing to all of Canada. PCA and Corbs join Team USA and…
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Starts Nice, then Trash Talk
Here we go into hot stove! And the one of us who is not a teacher by trade provides the vocabulary lesson. Stick with us and qualifying offers, arbitration, and super 2s will not confuse you. Congrats to Patti’s center fielders, PCA and Cedanne, for their Gold Glove wins, and to Pottymouth’s...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.
HOSTED BY
Voxtopica
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does No Crying In Baseball have?
No Crying In Baseball currently has 481 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is No Crying In Baseball about?
When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.
How often does No Crying In Baseball release new episodes?
No Crying In Baseball publishes regularly with 481 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to No Crying In Baseball?
You can listen to No Crying In Baseball on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts No Crying In Baseball?
No Crying In Baseball is created and hosted by Voxtopica.
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