No Homework

Jelly Roll's impending divorce nearly makes Ron drive into a pond. Lauren's desire for forklift certification destroys thousands of dollars worth of water softeners. Charles allegedly tapes over a priceless original recording of an extramarital affair.Lauren: https://bsky.app/profile/lauren.rotatingsandwiches.comBatting Around: https://www.patreon.com/cw/BattingAroundCharles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.socialPatrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyerRon: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.socialLiezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 

Charles steals valedictorian valor. Patrick is mocked by god for exhibiting too much character and fitness. Ron shows up fashionably late to the podcast, but does not attend graduation.Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.socialPatrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyerRon: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.socialLiezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 

Charles accidentally calls college "high school." Patrick accidentally calls law school "college." Ron accidentally gets his library defunded. We discuss valuable antiquities, both foreign and domestic, and their role in our plan to secure safe passage to China.Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.socialPatrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyerRon: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.socialLiezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 

With Ron away, Charles and Patrick are visited by Andy from ALAB, You're On Your Own and Mic Dicta and proceed to lay down the law. Topics include: tattletales, ancient judges, and people who are so stupid it defies common human logic. We also gawk at a cavalcade of poorly-behaved freaks and read from the Book of Grudges.Andy on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/wyattprivilege.bsky.socialCharles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.socialPatrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyerRon: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.socialLiezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 

Charles gets a negative teachers review due to being divorced. Ron gets tricked by a doctor and embraces MAHA. Patrick uses his pliable brain and the advice of a high school girlfriend to become ambidextrous. Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 

The boys discuss their complicity in fascism by posting on the wrong website. Ron teaches us about centipedes who hold grudges. Charles teaches us about monkeys who party. Charles' wife Carrie makes a special guest appearance to teach us even more monkey facts. Patrick discusses the best job he ever had.Drunk vervet monkey video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSm7BcQHWXk Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotorsPlease reach out to help Charles defeat Josh Boerman in the 2026 Podcast Guest Challenge: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0

Our guest Miles Klee becomes Kosherized. Charles teaches everyone fancy catering terminology. Ron was put in charge of hamburgers. Patrick returns home from Greece bearing tales of the Mediterranean, and also diarrhea.Miles’ book with Mads Gobbo, Double Black Diamond, is available at https://double--negative.com/002-double-black-diamond.html. The No Homework logo was designed by Leizl Estipona and her work, including a great photo history of the LA alt comedy scene, is at HeyItsLiezl.com.Please contact Charles to help him defeat Josh Boerman in his quest to have the most guest podcast appearances this year: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 Patrick’s music is available via Bandcamp at http://veryimportant.lawyer, as well as all streaming services in case you’d rather be a dick about it. His 2017 album Tonal Rotors is available on cassette via Big Sleep Records: https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotors

Week 4 of No Homework is here and with it a new guest. You probably know Anthony Atamanuik as the A+ Trump impersonation from The President Show or next-door-neighbor Sean on What We Do in the Shadows but Charles knows Tony as his poker buddy. Tony joins Charles and Ron to talk about workplace hardly-romance and some tangents into male loneliness, conspiracy and where they intersect. Patrick had better things to do.Tony's RFK Jr. comedy podcast "Good Science" with Gil Ozeri launches on June 2. You can watch the preview episode at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYpcHG-S2Pg. He's also rebooting his Twitch stream, Coffee With Tony Live! on Wednesdays at noon, starting May 6. https://www.twitch.tv/coffeewithtony/. Listen to Patrick Cosmos at https://patrickcosmos.bandcamp.com/musicListen to our sound kid Snxwyfish at https://snxwyfish.bandcamp.com/Look at our logo designer Liezl's photography etc. at https://www.heyitsliezl.com/All the fellas are on Bluesky.Charles: https://bsky.app/profile/ugarles.bsky.social L. Ron: https://bsky.app/profile/lronmexico.bsky.socialPatrick: https://bsky.app/profile/veryimportant.lawyerand our guest Tony: https://bsky.app/profile/therealtony.bsky.socialInvite Charles on your podcast! You can track his progress in the 2026 52+1 Podcast War With Josh Boerman here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0

Maura cold-calls a college-aged delinquent who is not Michael Crichton. Charles is not engaging Harvey Weinstein as a client at this time. Patrick knows a guy who is not on house arrest, and another guy who is. Elijah Wood is visited by a party ghost.Jeb & Maura’s Awful Party https://www.patreon.com/posts/jeb-mauras-awful-149199129familiesoverbillionaires.org https://bsky.app/profile/mauraquint.bsky.socialCharles’ running list of guest spots https://docs.google.com/document/d/1507RFbguOWnsrMFqsuRmHHIqjL2P1xtl8AEe3LzPZmg/edit?tab=t.0 Liezl Estipona https://www.heyitsliezl.com/ Patrick’s Bandcamp http://veryimportant.lawyerPatrick’s tape on Big Sleep Records https://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotors

Charles suffers temporary hearing damage. Patrick gets what he insists is not technically a paper cut. Ron is repeatedly blinded and falls down a hole.

Charles, Ron and Patrick discuss their first jobs, looking at cool cars, bootleg Oakley Razor Blades, and barfing into the Grand Canyon.