PODCAST · comedy
NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
by Patrick Melton
For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.
Episodes
-
March 4, 2026: KarmicX and Michael Ray Bower Discuss The World (Part 2)
Michael Ray Bower has been dipping his diabetic toes deeper and deeper in the Dabbleverse, and he’s lashing out at Patrick about it. Watch Patrick get wrecked by Donkeylips on a recent show. More impressive is his recent guest appearance with KarmicX which may require an old-fashioned deep dive…
more -
March 4, 2026: Stuttering John’s Contradictions! KarmicX & DonkeyLips Join Forces!
The ripples of Rodney’s big Friday event continue reverberating throughout the Dabbleverse, with nobody processing the event harder than Stuttering John himself. Watch the Duke of Dumb dig deep in to history to try and continue his self-gaslighting about the worst comedy show ever. Michael Ray...
-
September 1, 2026: Wishing & Coping! KarmicX! Mersh! Zumock!
The freaks out here fr fr cashing they government checks an errrthang. It is what is is. Donkey lips and KarmicX have had it with people telling them how to live thier lives! Why won’t you just give them money? Kevin Brennan dives in to Dabble drama and sinks to new lows. Chad Zumock is missing...
-
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: August 28, 2026 – Win Win Win? Another Event? A New Dance?
Join Patrick from Nobody Likes Onions, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts?, and Moody from somewhere in the Middle East as they cope and seethe for hours about the goings on of Aaron Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show in St. Cloud, Minnesota. This week is sure to be just another win for the…
more -
August 26, 2026: Goofin’! Trollin’! Cinnamon Rollin’! Mersh VS. Ice! A Gutter Trash Love Story!
Patrick has been in pain this week, and he might not be around this Christmas. Say your final goodbyes now, or forever just talk mad ish on Foursquare about it. Mersh versus Icedancer is getting nuts, and while Patrick is not completely caught up, the way this is unfolding might turn on really…
more -
August 19, 2026: Chad Zumock! Mersh! Plus a Chance to Earn Major Awards!
What a week it’s been. We began wondering if we would ever hear from Haley again after the trouncing she received from the Crabbleverse in the past few days. Cut to Wednesday and Haley is live making fun of Mersh being made twice the fool by his lady love, Icedancer. Plus Chad is really on one...
-
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: August 14, 2026 – Anniversary Slow! Haley Hyperventilation! More Misses!
Join Patrick from Nobody Likes Onions, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts?, Tookie from the Bedabbler Networkand Moody from somewhere in the Middle East as they cope and seethe for hours about the goings on of Aaron Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show in St. Cloud, Minnesota. This week is sure…
more -
August 13, 2026: Haley Done Did It Now! THE TURN!
You’re not gonna believe it! We’re weaving webs and walking on ’em barefoot out here! It’s late, I’m tired, and you deserve whatever I have left in the tank. Come catch me up since you know it all, nerd!
-
August 11, 2026: Is Haley One of the Baddies? The KarmicX Documentary!
Wouldn’t you like to get away? Did someone order a side of dabblesauce? Haley has a past that is rearing its ugly head and everyone wants everyone to respond! KarmicX has a new documentary that focuses on his personality defects in a most magnificent way!
-
July 29, 2026: Let’s Get WEDNESDAY WEIRD!
Let’s dive in to DJ Electra Fry and find out why the Dabbleverse is in a tizzy over this broad. Has Schmuel Buckman gone too far this time? Ethan Ralpha and Scarlett are great for each other! Karmic is thankful for pipes. both for waste and singing. Richard Leland Neal wants a YouTube job. Crazy...
-
July 28, 2026: BUSTED! Chad Zumock LIES O-Gain! Kevin Brennan MELTDOWN!
The drama around Chad Zumock and his comedy special is getting as juicy, as the Dabbleverse scrutinizes every move the Z-Man makes! Watch the man child crumble at every turn as the weight of the impending event creeps closer and reality sets in. Kevin Brennan is more interested in everyone’s…
more -
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: July 24, 2026 – The Hunch is Back!
Join Patrick from Nobody Likes Onions, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts?, and Moody from somewhere in the Middle East as they cope and seethe for hours about the goings on of Aaron Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show in St. Cloud, Minnesota. This week is sure to be just another win for the toe!
-
July 22, 2026: Chad Zumock Is A Man-Child! Yer Gunna Wunna Hang!
Kevin Brennan can’t stop sweeping for his boy Chad, who is currently in hiding from taking many facings in the past week revolving around his ever-increasing Go Fund Me. Watch what happened Saturday night one MLC! A tantrum for the ages breaks out when Anthony Cumia lights Chad up! Let’s catch…
more -
KB & ME: The Chad Zumock Story
Are we doing it? We are doing it! What should we do? I didn’t do it!
-
June 30, 2026: CHAD ZUMOCK CAN’T LOSE! Mersh Outcucks His Coverage! KB Be Bonkers!
This stream is from June 30, 2026. Chad Zumock struck this stream and told YouTube it was his show in it’s entirety and that it wasn’t transformative. You watch and decide who is lying. Chad has been sent paperwork from my attorney demanding a removal of the strike, and the cessation of bad faith...
-
May 29, 2026: Yooooooo! KarmicX Makes Amends! Chad Loses Control! KB Gets Pranked!
Patrick’s BACK again with another cope and seethe jamboree! Patrick wants to pick up where we left off- Hackamania! There’s so much old footage to go over and we need to get to it! Mersh snaps at Karl amidst Hackamania victimfest. Ethan Ralph wasn’t a big deal at Hackamania and he’s hurt about…
more -
May 25, 2026: Spitewave Radio! Realtionships Do Be Crumblin’ in the Dabbleverse!
Let’s see how long Patrick can go pain-free! There’s so much Dabbleverse news and we will do our best to get slowly caught up, but the immediate issues at hand revolve around the diminishing relationships in the Dabbleverse. Geno and Keanu. Ethan Ralph and Scarlett Hampton. Karmic and Gilly And…
more -
RODNEYS All Over Again? Can These Guys Even Sell Tickets?
Kevin Brennan, Bob Levy and Chad Zumock are putting on a show at Rodney’s and everyone wants to keep the highs of the past few months of live-event action going! Patrick is out of the loop but we will scour the net to try to watch the world burn live.
-
March 31, 2026: So You Think You Can DUMB? Chad Zumock’s Fake DUI! Ethan & Scarlett’s Bad Romance
Patrick has put himself in a bit of a pickle right before Hackamani and the whole event could be at risk! The spiraling by people in the Dabbleverse continues, with some of the dumbest takes you can imagine. Ethan Ralph takes another trip to Chicago to see Scarlett Hampton and it doesn’t go much...
-
This Little Piggy – A Steel Toe Roundtable Discussion (March 27, 2026)
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to…
more -
March 26, 2026: Hackamania Drama! Mersh VS. Moody! There Will Be Blood!
Hackamania is drawing closer and closer and people are losing their minds about it! Don’t miss the event of the year! The owner of Hogs & Heifers at The Plaza has decided to publicly respond to Patrick, and it’s something to behold! Mersh is trying to distract people from his overshare earlier…
more -
March 23, 2026: Mersh! Kevin Brennan! Chad Zumock! Hackamania Got ‘Em Feeling!
Michael Ray Bower is having heart surgery and we may not hear from him for a while. Chad Zumock is desperate to team up with anyone who will have him. Steel Toe is having a rough time winning and losing at the same time, and Kevin Brennan is back in the Keanu business.
-
March 19, 2026: Dabbleverse Catch Up & Juicy Gossip!
Patrick’s back after a week of things you shouldn’t concern yourself with, and there’s a lot to unpack. The Hackamania feud with Michael Ray Bower gets personal, Skitso Sean pays Vito another visit, and the PO Box finally gets emptied out with gifts. Plus the crew rates the Dabbleverse’s most...
-
March 12, 2026: Dabbleverse Catch-Up! Ethan Ralph vs. Mersh Explodes!
Ethan Ralph gets arrested in Wisconsin after a tumultuous weekend with Scarlett Hampton. Mersh is becoming Aaron Imholte before our very eyes. Chad Zumock acting like a real Chad Zumock. Plus whatever else catches our eyes on this late night fun spree.
-
March 11, 2026: Chad Zumock’s HORRIBLE Week! Scarlett Hampton Strikes AGAIN! Geno The Sperg!
Chad Zumock is having a rough week, between his racist tirade on MLC and the aftermath and cope that followed, and today announcing he has once again been banned from the Patreon platform. Ethan Ralph flew from Mexico to Chicago recently to visit Dabbleverse cornstar Scarlett Hampton, much to the...
-
March 4, 2026: KarmicX and Michael Ray Bower Discuss The World (Part 2)
Michael Ray Bower has been dipping his diabetic toes deeper and deeper in the Dabbleverse, and he’s lashing out at Patrick about it. Watch Patrick get wrecked by Donkeylips on a recent show. More impressive is his recent guest appearance with KarmicX which may require an old-fashioned deep dive…
more -
March 4, 2026: Stuttering John’s Contradictions! KarmicX & DonkeyLips Join Forces!
The ripples of Rodney’s big Friday event continue reverberating throughout the Dabbleverse, with nobody processing the event harder than Stuttering John himself. Watch the Duke of Dumb dig deep in to history to try and continue his self-gaslighting about the worst comedy show ever. Michael Ray...
-
This Little Piggy – A Steel Toe Roundtable Discussion (March 13, 2026)
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, Tookie and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to...
-
March 10, 2026: Geno & Keanu PANIC! Chad Zumock EXPLODES! KarmicX CRIES! Micro Ray Bower REFLECTS
Michael Ray Bower has some thoughts on his collaboration with KarmicX, who has also relented to his inner demons and started crying again live on his stream. Chad Zumock can’t put the bottle down, and goes on MLC in an unhinged rant full of feelings against Geno Bisconte. Geno and Keanu are on…
more -
March 2, 2026: The Rodney’s Spectacle Unpacked! All The Fakes! All The Takes!
Friday night was one of the most eventful in the Dabbleverse in quite some time, and all of the major players have been going over the events all weekend long. Let’s investigate some of the takes, get some feedback from the attendees, and unravel the sick ball of yarn that was one of the worst...
-
This Little Piggy – A Steel Toe Roundtable Discussion (February 27, 2026)
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to…
more -
February 26, 2026: The RODNEY’S Debacle! Karmic VS. Chad! Ray Talks Sex! MRB Is On One!
Keanu can’t stop looking for fights with ladies, and she ratchets up her aggression to get real tough! Ray Devito gets clipped in a rare occurrence of Cleveland’s second-favorite middle explaining the birds and the bees. KarmicX and Chad are fighting each other like real tards. The big show this...
-
February 24, 2026: Geno Bisconte Is Perma-Poor! Rumble At Rodney’s! Dabble Drama!
Can Michael Ray Bower bounce back after Friday night’s toxic brownie batter bungle? Mersh falls for a trap that wasn’t even meant for him. Everyone is buzzing about the Friday show coming up in NYC where Stuttering John, Geno and the Keek, Cumia and Kevin Brennan will be in attendance. Chad…
more -
February 19, 2026: Karmic’s New Pity Party! Chad Zumock Flounders!
Charles Chance is getting gacked about Hackamania! Michael Ray Bower has some thoughts on the Super Bowl halftime show. Chad Zumock has had some insane streams lately, and we really need to catch up while he’s on a YouTube hiatus. KarmicX is threatening to stop streaming in his latest tantrum…
more -
February 17, 2026: He Is Risen! Catching Up With Chad, KarmicX, KB, Bower & More!
Patrick isn’t dead, no matter how hard you wished for it to be true! So much has happened in the past week and a half that there isn’t really a way to make a plan. So let’s just get to it and see how much of the latest Dabbleverse dookie we can wade through. Sound like a plan? Micheal Ray Bower…
more -
Atlantic City Check-In! Ray’s Standup! Mami Meltdown! The Ghost of Mr. P Has Meats!
Patrick is in Atlantic City and wants to do a quick show to talk about the weekend developments, answer any questions you may have, and grift for money to play poker with as his spiral of losing continues!
-
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: LIVE FROM ATLANTIC CITY!
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, Tookie and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to...
-
February 2, 2026: A Really BIG Offer! Mersh vs. Schmuel! Summer Sinclair LIVE! KarmicX & More!
Patrick is heading off to Atlantic City for the Stupor Bowl meetup, but he wants to hang with you slerbs for a bit before taking off! Chad Zumock will not be in AC, because he’s a pro comedian doing pro work. We may or may not have a secret recording of one of Chad’s latest standup sets.…
more -
February 2, 2026: A Really BIG Offer! Mersh vs. Schmuel! Summer Sinclair LIVE! KarmicX & More!
Stuttering John has challenged Rocco to a boxing match, and Rocco has accepted. But in this world people are constantly challeging each other to fights that never happen. Will this be different? Summer Sinclair is cranking away at her comedy career and it’s time we checked in on her. Mersh is…
more -
BONUS NOTHING! Saturday Night Squirts!
Why don’t you duck-walk your silly ass on over here an plant one on me, Sally!
-
January 29, 2026: Matt Mead Can’t Stop! Mersh Explains! Steel Toe Beg Time! Chad Zumock Drunk!
Chad Zumock is having a rough time between his tiny apartment being revealed, harassing deliveries during his show, and now his fake girlfriend breaking up with him and his dreams of being a homeowner evaporating. Matt Mead still hasn’t learned damage control and continues to make things worse…
more -
January 26, 2026: BRING A SPOON! Chad! Kevin! Scarlett! Karmic! Toe!
Is Matt Mead the biggest simp you’ve ever seen in your life? Or is he just a complete idiot? You be the judge! Karmic gets cryptic about his life and wherabouts while revealing even more about his life an whereabouts. Scarlett continues her parade of shows while completely alienating her original...
-
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: A Steel Toe Morning Show Roundtable Discussion (January 23, 2026)
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to…
more -
January 22, 2026: Stuttering John On Hackamania! Bower In Distress! Chad Zumock Walk Stream!
Patrick has put out an offer for Stuttering John to come to Hackamania, but just like a bunch of buffoons before him, he’s handled in the wrong way! Felicia Gillespie has a track record of being completely nuts when it comes to relationships. Michael Ray Bower is trying to make the most of the…
more -
January 20, 2026: Kevin Brennan Provides LOLs! KarmicX MISERY Continues! Kitty Pineapple Is Back!
KarmicX is living at Felicia Gillespie’s place again, because he can’t be alone with his own thoughts in the frozen Minnesota north. But it doesn’t seem like he is finding peace and happiness in his newfound old relationship, and the cracks are already forming in this simple man’s facade. Kevin...
-
January 15, 2026: Chad Zumock Has NO IDEAS! DonkeyLips Is In NEW YEAR Mode! LOLCOW Soup!
Chad Zumock admits he has no skills and talent while rehashing what went wrong with his life, but still blames other people for his shortcomings. Let’s watch Chad learn about the internet in real time as he discovers his very own Pizzagate. Kevin Brennan is still obsessed with the numbers.…
more -
January 13, 2026: Kiki Gets Cheeky! Kevin Brennan’s NUMBERS Haunt Him! Broken Bone Therapy!
Kevin Brennan is living the dream. Sure, his Patreon numbers are down, but he’s not going to let that bother him. As a matter of fact, he’s playing a joke on all of us because he’s making up the money elsewhere. Don’t worry about him. He’s doing fine. You’re all just Melton trolls, anyway. Keanu...
-
January 12, 2026: Chad Zumock The HYPOCRITE! Ashley Cummings Stinks! Steel Toe PIVOTS On ICE!
Chad Zumock spent another weekend drunk in the tiny apartment he claims is only a temporary housing situation. Watch as he tries to confront Scarlett about her issues while his daddy Kevin uses her for chuckles. Ashley Cummings needs the Dabbleverse even though she claims to be tired of it. She...
-
THIS LITTLE PIGGY: A Steel Toe Morning Show Roundtable Discussion (January 9, 2026)
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to…
more -
January 8, 2026: Chad Zumock’s New (Used) Car! Karmic’s New (Used) Girlfriend! New Gadgets!
KarmicX reveals why he flip-flopped on Hackamania on Monday, despite not being offered anything – he’s back together with Felicia, the woman he complains controls his life and his show to his own detriment. Watch as this poor simpleton reckons with his own decisions in real time. Chad Zumock has...
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
No topics indexed yet for this podcast.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.
HOSTED BY
Patrick Melton
CATEGORIES
Loading similar podcasts...
Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does NOBODY LIKES ONIONS have?
NOBODY LIKES ONIONS currently has 50 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is NOBODY LIKES ONIONS about?
For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about...
How often does NOBODY LIKES ONIONS release new episodes?
NOBODY LIKES ONIONS has 50 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to NOBODY LIKES ONIONS?
You can listen to NOBODY LIKES ONIONS on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts NOBODY LIKES ONIONS?
NOBODY LIKES ONIONS is created and hosted by Patrick Melton.
URL copied to clipboard!