Not That Damn Show

Let’s say you’re a virgin in your mid-20s and decide the best solution is spending $1,500 at a legal brothel.Bold strategy.Now imagine getting home afterward and thinking, “You know what? I need to leave a Yelp review.”That’s where we begin.We also found a married couple who went to the same brothel FOR DINNER and were significantly more upset about missing ranch than the fact that they were eating chicken strips surrounded by prostitutes.Then Florida brought us a fake dick abandoned in a police car, Nana Squeeze Ass, two school principals getting separate DUIs in the same vehicle, and a 75-year-old man pepper-spraying children who wouldn’t pet his dog.Stroke also tells the story of getting attacked by a herd of lesbians.And then we watched old commercials about racist toothpaste, sexist coffee, Bill Cosby warning people about drugs and AYDS helping people lose weight. The past was weird.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy some merch before we actually make the “DON’T EAT HOOKERS” shirt and your family starts asking questions: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 You’ve clearly got something fucked up you haven’t told anybody yet. Ruin our day anonymously here: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow us. Subscribe. Leave a review. Five stars preferably, unless you also spent $1,500 and expected sex lessons: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 Watch the uncensored video on Patreon and actually see the moment “a herd of lesbians” becomes part of the English language: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNOT That Damn Show Americas Loudest Podcast DUI checkpoints humanoid teacher classroom robot robot sex porn industry VHS Beta Blu-ray HD DVD brothel reviews Sherrys Ranch Alice Little legal sex worker Las Vegas brothel French dip ranch dressing brothel food losing virginity male virgin prostitution sex worker Dont Eat Hookers Thunder Valley buffet pocket shrimp karaoke Patreon Florida Man fake penis Whizzinator drug test suspended license police car dildo Florida vanity plate Squeeze Ass school principals DUI pet store pepper spray lesbians herd of lesbians poorly aged commercials vintage commercials McDonalds commercial Maxwell House coffee sexist commercials Bill Cosby drug PSA AYDS diet candy Johnson and Johnson Johnson motors Darkie toothpaste Birds Eye faggots faggots and gravy British food groaty dick

Family is important. Apparently not important enough to ask your brother to donate sperm without turning every future Christmas into a psychological hostage situation.We also learned that powdered corpses used to count as medicine, a frightened whale can blast three gallons of intestinal “Ink”, and one German man somehow found room for 278 genital piercings. Then a rabid bat landed on a teenager’s face, Mortimer wiped his ass with a turkey sandwich after shitting on a wall, and Russia held a wedding for two robots because gay people apparently still asked for too much. Ian finishes the job by explaining why your two-hour wait, weak drink, missing TV channel, and sweaty table are absolutely not his fault, even though it is actually 100% his fault. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy a shirt before we turn the turkey sandwich story into one. Your dignity is already gone, so dress accordingly: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Confess whatever disgusting decision is keeping you awake. We’ll keep it anonymous and still judge it loudly: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow, subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm stops treating us like a plumbing company nobody wants to inherit: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 Watch the uncensored video on Patreon and see every face made during the sperm-donor debate. Audio alone cannot capture that level of regret: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNOT That Damn Show podcast Boardwalk karaoke Orangevale karaoke Coors Light family business inheritance plumbing company teacher career sperm donor brother family sperm donation infertility donor anonymous sperm donor turkey baster pregnancy rabies bat Canadian rabies death bat exposure rabies symptoms Mortimer turkey sandwich public indecency robot wedding Russia humanoid robot marriage Robert Matilda robots teacher student scandal OnlyFans teacher restaurant tipping server complaints restaurant wait weak drinks slow food service restaurant television restaurant temperature powdered human corpses corpse medicine whale diarrhea genital piercings System of a Down Chop Suey watermelon vegetable Eiffel Tower expansion campfire stress relief manzilian waxing adult virginity Filipino hooker confession weight loss pills Ozempic generation marijuana confession masturbation addiction drug recovery confession

Stroke went to the Mayo Clinic, surrendered 32 vials of blood, and learned he has a tropical parasite that may have been living inside him for years. Most people would process that information privately. We immediately asked him to inspect his poop and send pictures if anything worm-shaped appears.That somehow wasn’t the strangest part of the show.Ian explains why calling yourself a “regular” does not magically earn you better service, a better table, or the right to jump an hour-long karaoke line when you tip like somebody’s disappointed uncle. Fair point, honestly.After that, the internet takes over. A sign-language lesson accidentally teaches kids how to say “nut in my mouth,” a nervous woman stutters into the worst possible word during a public meeting, and a bison sends an old man high enough to briefly qualify as weather.The Dammits close things out with toxic advice, including trusting every fart and shitting your pants to avoid a ticket.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.👕 Your closet looks like it has given up on you. Fix that humiliating situation here: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩Tell us the thing you’re too embarrassed to admit to anyone with your real name attached. We’ll handle it irresponsibly: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow, subscribe and leave a review so the algorithm stops treating us like three men yelling inside an abandoned Chili’s: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 Watch the uncensored video on Patreon and actually see the bison launch Grandpa into another zip code: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNotThatDamnShow podcast Mikey Stroke Ian parasite MayoClinic liver transplant transformer DNA test clue worms poop entitled customers restaurant servers karaoke regulars tips Boardwalk WashingtonDC Minneapolis voicemail disability UPS driver dog pitbull emotional support animal radio lottery DigitalDump signlanguage ShaniaTwain divingboard bison attack fatcop toxic advice Everclear fart tickets JehovahWitness comments

This is not a normal episode. After a heartbreaking loss in the NTDS community, we’re going live to talk, listen, and try to make sense of something awful together.If you’re struggling or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7 in the U.S.

We brought in the spouses for this episode and within five minutes we were trying to launch a diabetic pee whiskey brand called “The Sweetness”From there, things somehow got worse.We talked about the Folsom Rodeo skydiver who almost got turned into a patriotic tent stake, Mikey’s deep hatred of birthday sombreros, and whether a UPS driver throwing a box at a charging dog is self-defense or proof that humanity peaked with caller ID.The confessions went from stolen doorknobs to a fake-burned-down Disneyland to butt douching, because the internet has given anonymity to exactly the people who should not have it. The Jenn still found time to make everyone guess whether strangers were siblings or dating, which is apparently a game and also a warning label. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.👕 Buy a shirt so strangers know you make questionable entertainment choices on purpose: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Got a secret so stupid it deserves witnesses? Dump it anonymously and let us ruin it with commentary: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐Follow, subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm stops pretending it has better taste than you: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 The uncensored video is on Patreon, where you can see the spouses, the regret, and whatever faces happened during “diabetic pee whiskey”: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShownot that damn show spouses lunch lady kyle mandy jen diabetic urine whiskey sweetness pretty penis folsom rodeo skydiver crash sombrero birthday el tapatio ups driver dog box dog attack ketamine confessions doorknob disneyland moist mushrooms tool aftershock shower head enema coffee enemas bukaki baby shower ian 90s list fireworks gingivitis strep penis lizard spouse sibling dating

The whole gang is back, which means the episode immediately goes off the rails and never even pretends to recover.It starts with Patreon math, starving African podcasters, Fourth of July jello shots, and the uncomfortable realization that OnlyFans has better analytics than most businesses. Then Random Facts shows up and ruins everybody’s day with pearlfish living in sea cucumber butts, tapeworms growing 30 feet, itchy organs, sled dog mascara, and Aztec priests wearing human skin until it rotted off. Cute little family show.The Dammits also delivered. Snow White got exposed as a dwarf-house trespasser. Jesse called in about bowling (we think) and maybe peeing on a police station…. or a PlayStation. We’re not really sure. Then what’s Your Damn Problem hit us with a dying ex wanting one last weekend and a wife asking for an open marriage after her husband’s accident.WTF News brings us a pastor beating a guy’s ass, a missing giraffe, fentanyl “sugar,” and a White Claw truck crash.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy the shirt before it disappears and you have to explain to strangers why you missed your chance to wear something stupid on purpose. https://www.nottds.com/store/ 📩 C Got a secret, confession, disaster, or life choice that would make a therapist quietly close their laptop? Send it in and let us drag it through the mud lovingly. https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2 ⭐ Follow, subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm knows we’re not just yelling into a digital trash can for cardio. https://linktr.ee/nottds 🎥 The uncensored video is on Patreon, where you can see every dumb face we make while pretending this is a respectable operation. https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShow

We took a week off, came back with three hosts, and immediately started doing math on how this show costs about 75 cents an episode, which somehow turned into us being the cheapest whores in podcasting.Mikey went to San Francisco for his birthday, saw lowrider gangsters blasting Miley Cyrus like the founding fathers intended, and somehow came home angry about some lying table-stealing breakfast goblin at Hot Off The Griddle in Rocklin CA.Then Random Thoughts went completely off the rails with beavers, claptor, golden retrievers as middle management, Hitler as a gay panda, and the question of whether ghosts are dumb for hanging out in cemeteries.Ian also ranked his 90s crushes and you’ll never guess who number was 🙄Then the Damnits confessed to Lance Bass AOL catfishing, sauna cum vapor mythology, fake zebras, Scotland’s unicorn problem, and the kind of sex logic that makes you want to stare directly into the sun. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy the shirt before we change our minds, lose interest, or get distracted by a fake zebra. https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Send us your worst confession. Not your “I ate the last cookie” nonsense. We want the kind of story that makes your ancestors request a name change. https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2 ⭐Follow, subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm knows we’re not just yelling into a haunted basement. https://linktr.ee/nottds 🎥 Watch the uncensored video on Patreon because some facial reactions deserve to be witnessed like a public safety warning. https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShow not that damn show america’s loudest podcast mikey ian jenn damnits patreon cheap whores boardwalk freedom weekend fourth of july drinks line dancing dwight anthony san francisco pier 39 haight ashbury lowriders party in the usa miley cyrus free bird wonderwall creed karaoke birthday fathers day hot off the griddle breakfast table party of eight restaurant confrontation oysters mongolian barbecue random thoughts beavers golden retrievers middle management claptor juniors hold my beer hitler furry gay panda ghosts cemeteries skip legs cloned dick bigger tv five minute crafts nineties crushes winnie cooper alicia silverstone pink power ranger tia carrere hilary duff melissa joan hart lucy lawless christina ricci topanga lance bass aol catfish helsinki sauna girls gone wild komodo dragon reindeer narwhals zebras scotland unicorn dirt squirrel florida man waffle house batman captain america leonardo the poon wolf everything is fake and gay

Ian ditched us for work, so Arnie States showed up, which immediately made the show feel like somebody handed the mic to a man banned from several Costcos.Stroke explained his Florida oyster pearl hustle like he’s running a seaside jewelry cartel, which somehow turned into “a pearl necklace from Stroke,” because this show has the maturity of a middle school locker room with Wi-Fi.Jess the song girl sent in a song about Mikey getting tea bagged …apparently this fanbase has lost all shame.Jenn showed up and explained why she was late: her kid got car sick on the way back from Santa Cruz and absolutely launched vomit all over the truck. Not a cute little kid puke either. We’re talking full projectile Exorcist situation.We breakdown why society got soft, from boneless wings to trigger warnings to people needing an app to remind them to drink water like endangered houseplants. And Jen brought back the prison dating game, where once again everyone made choices and immediately regretted being alive. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy the merch so we can keep making bad decisions in better shirts. Your closet is probably already embarrassing, so fix it: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Send us your worst story, dumbest secret, or whatever little courtroom sketch your life has become. We’ll judge it lovingly and probably loudly: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow, subscribe, and leave a review unless you enjoy watching independent podcasts slowly starve like Victorian orphans. Everything is here: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥The uncensored video is on Patreon, which means you can actually see the prison dating game pictures and understand the damage in real time: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNOT That Damn Show America’s Loudest Podcast Mikey Stroke Jenn Arnie Arnie Radio Ian fill in host Boardwalk Fourth of July line dancing Santa Cruz Lost Boys Corey Feldman Billy Bob Thornton Taylor Momsen Florida Man White Claw DUI banana chips Walmart flasher lawn flasher Delta flight attendant Chick-fil-A ecstasy stolen car fast food prices Wendy’s Frosty tipping culture Listerine mild Listerine intense soft society participation trophies trigger warnings boneless wings chicken nuggets kids boredom water app life hacks safe space prison dating game inmate dating money laundering narcotic trafficking murder teabag song moist foods poop facts Jimi Hendrix Morgan Freeman Gen X millennials

Stroke was out this episode, so we did the responsible thing and replaced him with Rick, our actual lawyer. Smart move, honestly, because this episode probably needs legal supervision.We started with a titties hat, then a dick hat, somehow invented “digital AIDS,” revisited the workplace phrase nobody should ever say out loud, and then took a hard turn into couples splitting bills 50/50. Joint accounts, separate accounts, who pays for dinner, who cleans the kitchen, who steals the money when everything goes sideways. Romance is beautiful, folks.Then Jenn gave us the news: China is allegedly using LinkedIn to fish for spies, a Florida grandma got arrested after falling for a fake Liam Neeson scam, Toronto has a beaver statue named Doug, and Joey Chestnut is apparently the Glizzy Guzzler now.After that, confessions got disgusting enough that Rick probably considered charging us by the hour.So here’s the question: should couples split everything 50/50, or is that fake fairness people use until somebody empties the bank account? Let us know in the comments Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy the shirt before it disappears and you’re left explaining to strangers why you refused greatness like some kind of clearance-rack civilian: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩Your secrets are disgusting and apparently unlimited. Dump them anonymously so we can read them, regret it, and keep the show spiritually unwell: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow, subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm knows we’re not just four people yelling into the void like a cursed family reunion: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 Get the uncensored video on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNOT That Damn Show episode 101 America’s Loudest Podcast Mikey Stroke Ian Jenn Rick lawyer guest host fake and gay shirt titties hat dicks hat digital AIDS smells like vagina workplace Dick in Commodore 64 Boardwalk Fourth of July Orangevale Minneapolis podcast plays land of ten thousand lakes Daughtry mom rock Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis Glenlivet whiskey couples 50 50 debate joint bank account separate bank accounts divorce custody agreement workers comp LinkedIn spies China recruiters Liam Neeson scam Florida grandma Canadian beaver statue Doug Great Beaver Quest Joey Chestnut hot dog eating contest glizzy guzzler Impossible Foods Patreon confessions hyphenated last name God crying rain ASPD HR law sex drawer lube rusty trombone social media evidence speed cameras bridge tolls felon gun rights Gangbang Gavin

This episode of Not That Damn Show somehow starts with dead bodies getting goosebumps and ends with a grown man explaining why he refuses to eat “BBL ass” like he’s delivering a TED Talk from a gas station parking lot. The gang falls down rabbit holes involving church fights, giraffes tasting piss, Pornhub page 448, HOA snitches losing their minds over Govee lights, and a law student secretly filming people in a bathroom because apparently society is hanging together with duct tape and and toothpicks from Dollar Tree. Then things completely collapse during Digital Dump with a dude yelling “hemo-sacial,” a fake vodka prank involving a dildo, and one of the creepiest cat-feeding videos ever uploaded to the internet. The making of a serial killer.Somewhere in the middle of all this, Stroke prepares for graduation while everyone else questions whether humanity should even continue unsupervised. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Your friends are annoying. Your coworkers are worse. Buy a “Fuck You” shirt and finally communicate like an adult: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Your secrets are safe with us. Mostly because we’re too distracted by whale farts and HOA arguments to remember them. https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐Follow the show, subscribe everywhere, leave a review, and help keep this dumb operation alive another week. https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 The uncensored video version is on Patreon because somehow this gets even worse when you can actually SEE everyone. https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowThis episode is brought to you by Morning Recovery and Liquid Focus from MoreLabs.Because some of you treat weekends like a federally funded liver destruction program.Use promo code NTDS at morelabs.com and save 25% before you wake up Sunday feeling like a baked potato.Not That Damn Show Mikey Stroke Ian Jenn giraffe pee ovulation pillow erection dead people goosebumps Pringles can burial Florida Man church fight HOA complaints Govee lights whale fart exploding head syndrome teratomas tumors with teeth Pornhub page 448 bunny helmet motorcycle chase UPS theft hot dog robbery drone DUI digital voyeurism Facebook neighborhood groups dumb tourist questions beach open cruise ship falling black church fights hemo-sacial dildo prank Costco caulk prank cat feeding video Morning Recovery Liquid Focus Morelabs graduation prank whale sexuality Digital Dump WTF News Florida stories funny podcast comedy podcast Patreon video podcast

This week starts with Mikey accidentally turning NOT TDS into Pornhub Lite after trying to monetize the website and immediately getting greeted by a giant vagina and a “girl 3 miles away wants to fuck” popup. Stroke’s getting his master’s degree while simultaneously questioning whether touring Thomas Jefferson’s slave mansion makes him racist by association. Jenn gets “higher than giraffe pussy” off a Mother’s Day gummy while watching Sally Field movies, and Ian nearly declares war on a couple camping in his restaurant booth for four hours over a few PBRs and six-dollar tip money. Then somehow the show spirals into awkward human interactions, slime-covered birthday disasters, getting hit by cars, and a full James Brown-style diss track called “Punk Ass Bitch” aimed directly at Ian’s couch mic and personality. Humanity may be cooked, but at least you’re not the guy accidentally running porn ads on a comedy podcast website. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸This episode is brought to you by Morning Recovery. Because some of you drink like your decisions don’t have consequences.Use code NTDS for 25% off at More Labs. Your future self is begging you.👕 Your closet looks weak and emotionally unsupported. Fix it with something offensive from the NTDS store before another boring person buys a “LIVE LAUGH LOVE” blanket. https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Got a secret that would ruin Thanksgiving dinner forever? Perfect. Send it to us anonymously so we can publicly judge you like decent human beings. https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐ Follow the show, leave a review, tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell the weird guy camping at a restaurant booth for four hours. https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 Want the uncensored video episodes, bonus content, and the stuff Spotify probably wishes we’d edit out? Patreon has you covered. https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowNOT That Damn Show Mikey Stroke Ian Jenn Morning Recovery MoreLabs porn website Chatturbait giant vagina website ads restaurant campers PBR waitress tips awkward moments elevators awkward drive thru awkward goodbye couch slime birthday party poor kid birthday invite Sally Field gummy edible higher than giraffe pussy Kevin Hart roast Shane Gillis Tony Hinchcliffe Chelsea Handler Thomas Jefferson ancestry kit black percentage body broker military explosives TSA Miralax airport awkward social interactions couch mic Punk Ass Bitch song James Brown style McGangBang Facebook Marketplace karaoke bar church parking lot body shots fencing awkward elevator airplane clapping Patreon Spotify video NOTTDS merch

Look, if you came here for a healthy, emotionally mature show, you absolutely clicked the wrong thing. We start with breaking “news” about Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide note like Mikey is CNN, then immediately derail into roasting Ian’s $20 couch mic until he straight-up disappears from the show like a pissed-off lesbian Bigfoot. From there it somehow turns into dragonflies jetting water out of their asses, and a very real discussion on how your partner’s nut allergy can actually kill them via, uh… extracurricular activities. We get voicemails about poop semantics, hair-based crime strategies, and confessions about whether body shots count as cheating if your junk is “in the zip code,” and then wrap it all in Florida stories featuring church bathroom creepers, coked-up fire chiefs, and a guy stealing a car just to drive it to the cops. Also, someone confesses they have a huge crush on Jenn while she murders a spider live on camera, because of course she does. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 If you like this kind of emotional damage, go wear it on your body. Drag your broke ass over to the store and buy something: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Got a secret, a crime plan, or a horny poem for Jenn? Vomit it into our inbox anonymously and let us judge you instead of a therapist: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2⭐If you laughed, choked, or got mildly offended, hit follow, subscribe, and drop a review so the algorithm knows we’re a problem: https://linktr.ee/nottds🎥 You want the uncensored video, Ian’s rage face, Jenn killing spiders, and all the dumb visuals we can’t explain in audio? That’s on Patreon and Spotify video: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShowJeffrey Epstein suicide note Not That Damn Show Morning Recovery Liquid Focus MoreLabs NTDS Florida man church bathroom camera Chick fil A flasher coked up fire chief Navarre Beach drill fight shed arson propane torch open relationships confession segment dragonflies jet propulsion butt virginity is cool Mormon video nut allergy semen did you know segment black tears fetus in brain Barney Mr Rogers predator catcher vigilante justice voicemail 916312DAMN Aftershock mass fart event hair DNA crime scene glass eye Mother’s Day softball Patreon uncensored podcast Rocklin California Arnie States Boardwalk Rock the Boardwalk