Now What Podcast

In July 2024, Taniya, a member of the class of 2021, reflected on her experiences during the pandemic and how they shaped her journey. Taniya shared the isolation and frustration of learning from home, the importance of getting therapy, and the need for more ethics training in both education and work. She also discussed the lack of accountability in education, both during and after that time. Now, as she builds her cybersecurity business and continues her education, we reflected on the long-term effects of those years and the urgent changes still needed in education today.This episode is a reminder that the pandemic’s impact on students didn’t end when schools reopened. I also hope it gives you insight into how incredible my students are and why they were, and still are, worth fighting for.Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

By February 2021, my students discuss how mentally and emotionally drained they were. One incredibly talented and caring student described how all her friends were failing, and how the school’s response only made things worse. Another shared how the endless assignments, the lack of social connection, and the constant grind were just sucking the life out of him.And that’s when I broke down. I remember how terrible I felt, crying in front of my students for the first time, wondering if it was the “wrong” reaction. But I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I couldn’t understand why we were doing this to them. Why weren’t we listening? Why couldn’t we fix this?I just wanted someone to take responsibility for the mess we created—admit that we were wrong, and that these kids didn’t fail, we failed them.This is about more than just virtual school—it’s about reaching the breaking point. It’s about being ok with showing vulnerability. It’s about admitting we got it wrong and demanding accountability. It’s about the adults in our school systems demonstrating what it means to be an adult. Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

My student Emoni was struggling with her mental health, and it was clear: the response from the adults in the school—the ones who were supposed to care—was only making it worse.I told her the truth—this wasn’t about taking the easy way out by transferring. The system was broken, and we had failed to give her the support she needed. These conversations were becoming more than just feedback; they were turning into a record of the emotional and psychological toll the pandemic had on students.We need to stop pretending that virtual learning was just “hard.” It was harmful. And if we don’t start listening to students now, we’re going to keep failing them.Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

In this conversation from December 2020, my student talks about the mental toll virtual learning took on her and her friends. The lack of social interaction, the pressure to keep up, and the unrealistic expectations had worn them down. They weren’t learning, and they had lost their motivation.I agreed. We were asking too much from students in a system that couldn’t deliver. My student’s honesty reveals a mental health crisis that was unfolding in real time. This isn’t just about virtual school—it’s about what we were allowed to put public school children and teenagers through, against all research, logic, common sense, or basic human decency.Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

In November 2020, during virtual school, I noticed that my once thriving students were struggling, so we started recording our experiences. I wasn’t trying to criticize anyone; I just wanted to figure out what wasn’t working and fix it. I believed that we could make things better. These conversations didn’t lead to the change I wanted at the time. My hope is that, while their voices were ignored then, these recordings can now serve as a resource for other students, families, and policymakers as they adopt new strategies for education. It’s time we stop pretending these failures were inevitable. Let’s listen to their voices, and start asking why their concerns were dismissed—and how that dismissal is still affecting schools today. This is also part of my own healing process. Sharing this story helps me work through the disillusionment and pain of being misunderstood, part of my journey to recover from the institutional abuse I endured for what I thought would be welcome student advocacy and the PTSD it caused. It also shows who I am as an educator, and I hope that through sharing this, I can find a place that values the talents and principles I bring to the table.Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

There’s a lot of talk about chronic absenteeism in schools and an equally troubling narrative around students who haven’t found success. Too often, the conversation narrows to just two options: lower the standards or let them fail. I strongly disagree with either of these options.Before sharing my own thoughts, I revisited my archives to hear what my students had to say.In Judaism, there is an obligation to “judge everyone favorably.” After listening to student recordings, I realized that one of the guiding principles in my practice is Unconditional Positive Regard—the idea that students should be accepted without judgment, which allows them to engage deeply in their learning. Ethan’s experience with his extended essay is a perfect example of this.When he visited the library three years after graduation, he reflected on his hesitation to push beyond his comfort zone due to a fear of failure. In many of his classes, the focus had been on what he hadn’t done, which only reinforced his apprehension. However, the environment I created was different. It wasn’t about past shortcomings; it was about offering time, space, and support without judgment. This allowed Ethan to explore his potential, take risks, and ultimately enjoy the process.As Ethan put it:"In most of my classes, it felt like the focus was on what I didn’t do, and that only made me more anxious. But in the library, it wasn’t like that. It felt safe. I could work at my own pace without worrying about being judged, and in the end, I not only finished my essay, but I actually enjoyed the process."Ethan’s story highlights the power of Unconditional Positive Regard and the importance of judging students favorably. When educators move from being judges of past work to allies in students’ present and future success, we create the conditions for real learning and growth. This isn’t just theory—it’s a practice that can transform how students experience their education.I want my students to develop both the skill set and the mindset to thrive in college and beyond, regardless of their prior learning experiences. When we embrace approaches like Unconditional Positive Regard, we set them up not only for academic success but for life—and give them a reason to want to come to school.However, after virtual learning ended, the environment in which I thrived was no longer welcome. I was told that before I could even listen to students, I had to make sure they had always done every single thing right in every class. My focus on creating safe, non-judgmental spaces for learning was dismissed, replaced by an expectation of perfection from students before they could be heard. This shift goes against everything I believe about fostering student success. Instead of helping students move forward, this mindset pressures them into silence and fear.But I won’t stop advocating for a better way—a way where students are met with understanding, support, and the belief that their current efforts, not just their past, are what matter most.Anyone need a librarian or writing coach?Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

Somehow, we decided that children could learn without motivation, meaningful connections, a sense of purpose, the teacher-student relationship, joy, support, proper teacher training, or any link between effort and achievement. We divorced teaching from learning, and our schools are living with the consequences.“Without that teacher bond, you're not really gonna be a great student... it’s just giving out work and doing work.” Teachers, though trying individually, were overwhelmed and disconnected. They were “just talking to a screen,” while students fell behind.The lack of interaction, the absence of friends, and just staring at a screen all day left students feeling like they were attending a never-ending business meeting. “It’s like having a substitute every day.” There was no motivation, no joy, just a relentless barrage of assignments without the necessary tools or support to succeed.This wasn’t just about a lack of effort from teachers; it was about a system that was ill-prepared and unwilling to admit that its methods were failing. We had no training in trauma-informed teaching or supporting depressed students, yet we moved forward as if we did, ignoring the reality that what we were doing contradicted everything we know about how kids learn.What we put these kids through was not just flawed; it was insane, inhumane, and counter to all educational principles. They were expected to function in isolation, self-motivate without connection, and meet the same standards without the same resources. “It’s not that the kids were depressed and that’s why they weren’t doing well,” Isaiah argues. “They got more depressed because they couldn’t do what was being asked of them.”Students like J lost all motivation and dramatically changed their future plans. “This year has been so bad for me that I’ve entirely changed my plan to community college or just trade school after high school.” It’s not that these paths aren’t valuable; it’s that the shift wasn’t born of choice but of resignation.This was not a failure of our children; it was a failure of the adults that were unwilling to adapt, to listen, and to meet the real needs of the children it was supposed to serve. My priority throughout was clear: how do we keep these kids on track? Yet, this focus on what students truly needed somehow turned me into, in the words of my assistant principal, “a pariah.”The most significant step we can take now is to admit that this approach didn’t work. It caused profound changes not just in our students, but in their families and the schools themselves. It’s time to rebuild with an honest acknowledgment of these failures and a commitment to truly supporting our students. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

Although no one is reporting on it, schools continue to treat students worse than they did in the before times. People complain that there are no consequences for bad behavior, as if this explains the ongoing quagmire, but the bigger issue is that there are no longer consequences for GOOD behavior. Virtual school showed schools what they can get away with in their treatment of kids, and that is how many continue to treat them. Full stop.These kids are achievers. Many get to school early, really early. Baltimore City Public Schools do not use classic school buses; students ride public transportation. Baltimore City College students come from the top 20% of Baltimore City Schools middle schools, and many take two or three buses and have a walk to get to school. Some parents even drive their kids across town before work for the opportunity to attend City. Before Covid, shortly after we opened the doors at 6:30 am, students would enter through the loading dock doors and sit in the cafeteria, where they could eat the free breakfast provided by Baltimore City Schools for all students.During 2022-2023, about 35 students were shot on or around their high school campus; 6 died. And City is not immune to crime. We’ve had volunteers walk our students from bus stops to keep them safe; at least one student was carjacked in the student lot, a teacher was mugged in the teacher lot, and multiple students have been stabbed and shot at the bus stop.Amari’s testimony isn’t just about being cold; it's about a systemic failure that affects many students like him. He represents those who do everything right—waking up early, commuting long distances, and showing up eager to learn. Yet, instead of being welcomed, they’re left outside in the cold, both literally and figuratively.When Amari says, "Every time I'm here, there's always a bunch of kids out here standing in the cold," it's not just about discomfort—it's neglect. Amari’s experience reflects the reality for many students (and their families) who are dedicated and committed but overlooked. The message is clear: good behavior and effort no longer matter. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

Jade’s story highlights the disconnect between schools' claims of support and the reality students face. While most teachers were supportive, the school overall—and one teacher in particular—continued the ineffective practices from virtual learning, offering little real help. Jade, who struggled with mental health and was hospitalized during her senior year, received failing grades despite having medical documentation for her absences. When she and others were required to quarantine after COVID-19 exposures, the school had no structured plan to support them, showing a lack of preparedness and understanding.Part of Jade’s frustration stemmed from her school’s decision to double down on virtual assignments and digital learning platforms like Cognity to help students catch up, despite clear evidence that these methods failed students during virtual learning. The reliance on ineffective virtual assignments for students already struggling from gaps caused by remote learning was exacerbated in Jade’s situation because of limited access to WiFi and technology, which are now critical for completing assignments. Although most of her teachers accommodated her with paper copies of assignments, others refused, highlighting the disconnect between school policies and the realities faced by students without reliable internet access.Jade’s experience reflects the struggles of many students, revealing the lack of coordinated responses from schools, inadequate mental health support, and unrealistic expectations placed on those facing disruptions. Edited Transcript:Jade (Black Female): I'm waiting to find out if I am going to pass (senior year) because of math. I was hospitalized in October till around November. I was back in school for like a week and ended up back in the hospital and the day I was being evaluated, I woke up and my mother was gone. That was two days before Thanksgiving. I was put in foster care. I go back to school, dealing with foster care stuff, dealing with the challenges of already being behind. And a lot of my teachers really helped me get past it. But when I came back, it wasn't even a week when my classmate got COVID. We had contact tracing, so I had to go home for 10 days after I had just come back to school. They say go home and do your work. But I had just come back to school and there was literally nothing from my math teacher. And as soon as the quarantine ended, our school’s heat broke and our last few days before winter break were virtual. And then for weeks following the day we were supposed to come back to school the school had no heat. So we were virtual again.I had medical leave with all of the documents needed. And what people forget, last year, you're learning online. Me and my friends had weekly sessions on Google meets where we would work on math together. Did we actually learn? Not really. A big thing of last year is we didn't learn anything. We just forced ourselves to go. Now I did work hard and I’m going to Towson university in the fall. But much of this school year I did not have access to wifi. And a lot of my teachers were understanding and worked with me or gave me paper assignments. My math teacher is like, well, you need to do your Cognity practices. Cognity is a website that we use for math. It's supposed to help you learn and understand things. But I'm going to say this right now. It doesn't help. They just give you Cognity assignments, expect you to do them. And it doesn't help you understand things. Like if a person is trying to understand something and you say, oh, well go do Cognity work or read the sections of Cognity and you'll understand, there's a really good chance that you won't.My class has been through so much. We've lost two students to suicide. We have a sexual assault problem at the school. The reality is when you try to address things, things aren't addressed. When you ask for help, you don't get it. And now I sit here and wait till I find out whether I pass for the year, while also thinking about, why are these things out of my control. Jenni Berg: So what happens if you fail?Jade: I’d go to summer school. When you go to summer school, you don't get to walk with your class. And you feel the embarrassment because it's not something that people aren't going to notice. It's not something small that people are going to ignore. People are going to be like, why isn't this person here? Jenni Berg: but you're still gonna be able to go to Towson next year.Jade: I should be fine, but it's the stress of not knowing, and also the stress of knowing that you tried and it really feels like it was for nothing. Jade:  A lot of my classes teachers actually put in the effort. So you can try to learn. They'll give you examples, they’ll take their time, be there to answer questions. Then there's teachers who just don't try. And it's just, it's not, Jenni Berg: it's not fair. Jade: It's not fair. And some people would say, oh, that's life. And yes, we're not going to get everything that we want. And yes, life is not going to be easy. Jenni Berg: but it’s high school, not a PHD. After a year and a half of virtual school. I just don't get it. There's a lot of kids not passing math right now.Jade: We have group chats and we're crying and we're just trying to see if even if we have to go to summer school, will you let us walk. So we don't have to face the embarrassment.Jenni Berg: So you would be happy if you could walk and take the class in August? Jade: My thing is I can graduate in summer school. I can officially graduate in August. But I can never take back the experience of not being able to walk with my class. I can never take back the experience of being able to say, congratulations, you graduated, you did it. At this point it feels like all of the work that I've put in is for nothing. Jade did not pass math. She did not walk with her class and when she showed up to prom, despite the school taking her money to attend prom, she was escorted out.  This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

In March 2020, I was the librarian at Baltimore City College, or “City,” a school filled with dedicated teachers and students with great academic promise. But when the pandemic hit and schools closed, everything changed.My students, once on clear paths to college, were suddenly knocked off course. I began recording their thoughts about virtual learning, convinced that if the school understood how bad things were, they would step in. But as the year dragged on, my students weren’t just slipping through the cracks; they were being pushed and abandoned by a system that had promised to care. Over half of our 311 seniors were failing. These were students from the top 20% of middle school achievers, and now many—particularly non-white students who had never struggled academically before—were at risk of not graduating high school.I fought with everything I had. I compiled data, shared stories, and practically begged for someone to take these kids’ experiences seriously. I believed we could work together to find solutions. Instead, I was dismissed as “crazy” and told my advocacy had made me a “pariah.”I couldn’t believe the lack of foresight. As one student put it, “They don't realize that by making things harder, there's a higher chance of running into problems. And those problems become even harder.” He was right, and no honest person could deny it.Pandemic schooling changed students' relationships with schools. I’ll share videos, recordings, texts, and interviews from 2020-2023 to help reveal how and why. We can’t fix our schools while we continue to hide the parts we’ve broken.Thanks for reading Now What! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

This recording captures the candid voices of students from a Baltimore high school, sharing their thoughts on the transition from virtual to masked, in-person learning. Their words reveal the lasting impact of this shift on their social lives, motivation, and overall perception of school. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com

Transcript Dija: COVID is actually one of the reasons why I got more into wanting to be a special education major. I had to help my brother. He's a regular functioning child. He's done everything, you know, he knows all the things, he knows how to maneuver a game system and all of that good stuff. He didn't know jack nothing on that computer. Jennifer: Right. Dija: Didn't know jack nothing. Having to supervise him while my mom was out doing stuff. Sitting next to him, a lot of the students that had their cameras on, they were sleep. They were not engaged. Jennifer: And he was in first grade? Dija: I think it was first. This is his first real year in school. Jennifer: And they're sleeping.Dija: So cute. Such a cute thing. But it's like, I would watch the teachers put them in breakout rooms. And it would be a different teacher with each group of the students. So I say all of the first grade classes together.They would have three breakout rooms. The okay kids who are doing good who their parents are making sure they're doing everything. The okay kids who are, you know, they're kind of doing good, but you know, some of that grades are, and then it's the ones that's really falling. They're still in that kindergarten mind. They're still babies. So watching that whole thing pan out, it was like, I need to get in here. I need to help. Let me do something. So now I'm one-to-one with students who are on the spectrum of autism and different disabilities. Going back and rewinding and thinking about when my brother was in that pre k class, it was really first grade, but I felt like it was pre k.That pre k class, it just felt so invasive. It felt like the students didn't have anything. And I felt so bad. Jennifer: Like, so how many kids were in the class ─ Dija: I’d say five to six. A couple of them had like three students or like they would have some students just sit in a breakout room waiting for a teacher and that was like the students who which my brother ended up falling into the students who were below. They would give those students what they needed then move on to the next group. Give those students what they needed, move on to the next group and then that last group which would be the students who needed more help they would stay and They would like Let's say, for example, read a book. They stay, she read a book, they go on, um, what's it called, iReady. They go on iReady. You know the students have to do iReady by themselves, but the teachers would, like, walk them through different examples of the iReady. A first grader don't know what a damn example is, Jennifer: They were completely confused. Dija: You had to be your own one to one to your students. As a parent, you had to be your own one to one to a student. As a guardian, as an older sibling, I had to be my brother's own one to one. I had to explain this to him. He's going to first grade, so he's just learning how to read vocab Like, to the point where I have to read him. What is da da da da? He has to, you know, whatever, and it's like, full circle moment, because this is what I did in COVID, when it was with my little brother. So, yeah. Sat and helped him with assignments and sat and tried to understand what the teacher was teaching because I'm not in your class and Now I'm doing that same thing with students who have disabilities, so it's like if we give students this much support as we're giving the students that I work with now if we gave them that during covid they would thrive. Jennifer: Right, Most kids will thrive, if you give them what they need. Like, so, so I'm confused, so when you helped him, and you were doing the one on one thing, were you supposed to be in your own classes? Dija: yes, but you know,  It was to a point where I could text my friend. Hey, can you screenshot this? I need to help my brother. I would get the screenshot. I had the whole lesson. Jennifer: Right, the whole lesson in a screenshot, that's how useless it was. Dija: Most of them classes mute turn that camera off help my little brother. Jennifer: Right,Dija: I can hear you. I'm okay with just hearing you. Jennifer: When you really think about that we did this for a year and a half, like, it's insane. These six year olds in their house, and then you're a teenager doing your class, but you have to help them because they can't, that's absurd to put these six year olds in a Zoom breakout room and tell them to do something.Dija: , like, I didn't think about it this little ones. I thought it was crazy with you guys, but like, that's really crazy. Oh, When I seen what those little kids were going through, I said, it's not, no way.And then I started thinking about, what about those kids that get pulled out of class? What about those kids that need a little extra help?Wait a minute! AndJennifer: I'm glad it inspired you, but these kids, man. And they wonder why they're not where that's the thing is when they came back, it was like, why don't you know this? Well, why? Like, as if, oh, you didn't do it during virtual? No, of course. Why couldn't we have just at the very least to just take some accountability and say, it didn't work and start like,  But like to come back and to then be like, What's wrong with these kids? Well, what do you mean what's wrong with these kids?Dija: Let me tell you what's wrong with these kids. There's a generation of kids out here. One specifically that I know I'm pretty, I'm a little too familiar with them, but they know the game.They got used to not going to school or sick days and asynchronous work or not having to go to school, but still getting the work, So it's a big gap for these kids and my little brother is a part of this sadly, but that's what they were used to. That's , when they first started school, this is what they had.Yeah. It's been what, a year and a half, two years.Jennifer: but that's like when your brain develops, the thing is they didn't try to rewire the brain. Like you wired a brain a certain way, and then you came back and expected them as if they were there that like, that's like,Dija: grade.Jennifer: Right, like, they just, oh, let's just, now it's second grade and we're just gonna pretend that they had school for first grade.They didn't have school for first grade. These years are actually kind of arbitrary, you know, in, in Finland, which has one of the best, schooling, like, they have the, one of the best school systems. Do you know they don't start school until they're seven?They play outside until then. So there's no, it doesn't have to be that you start,  Like when he came back in second grade, they should have done first grade work instead of pretending they had gotten it. And so the problem was they pretended they got it. now they're still confused because they don't have any foundation. Like, it didn't matter. That's the part where I don't get it. Like, why did we have to pretend that virtual school worked? It didn't work. And I think that the idea that we decided to just blame individual students instead of an actual emergency system that we set up that didn't work, um, is the biggest problem.Dija: less, it's a lot less of individuality when it's a group, That's not just one's fault. If it's a whole group, we can't blame every one student.No,Jennifer: Right. That's how I feel like, if you had a product that you were selling and it broke for half the kids you wouldn't be like, they used it wrong, they didn't try hard. They didn't listen, read the directions. The product sucked. Like the directions, like that many kids didn't do it. It failed. Like not the kids, you failed, like the product.Dija: it didn't work. ItJennifer: Right. And we know that with everything else.Dija: And I feel like adults not the now adults, , because we're the adults now, unfortunately, you know, but the older adults, like our teachers and our teacher teachers, they believed that they were always right. I'm the adult, you're the child. I talk, you listen, I'm right, you're wrong. It was always that. But, as an adult, take some accountability because being 18 in high school that was when I realized and it clicked for me like, we're both adults here.You're not gonna sit right here and not take accountability or not accept what I'm telling you because I'm being honest with you. And I will argue a teacher down right now. I will argue a teacher down about anything because at the end of the day, even though being online kind of made me a little bit lazy, you know, it took away from a lot of my social life.But one thing it did teach me is to advocate for myself. I can say that. One thing it did teach me is to be by myself and to learn myself. And that's something that, you have to learn when you get to college. And you do a lot of things by yourself. It's sad, but it's true.It's very sad, but it's true. And online schooling, that's what I can say. It did benefit me in that way to show me my independency, show me my self advocacy, show me how I can show up for myself instead of depending on a lot of other people who might not have my best interests at heart. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jennibgaither.substack.com