Now With REAL™ News!
by Larry Nocella
Totally Real Not Fake News. It's not news. It's REAL™ News! In our modern age, it’s hard to know what is true. We aim to make it a little bit more difficult. We use only the highest quality satirical smart-assery. Our mission statement is to make fun of jerks, whatever their political origin. At least it would be if we had a mission statement. Thank you so much for trying us out. We love you. And by we I mean me. Me love you. Larry Nocellaeditor, Now With REAL™ News!Twitter: @LarryNocellaEmail: [email protected]
Episodes
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HO MALONE! Streaming App Screw-up Shows Porn “Ho Malone” instead of Christmas Classic
by Larry Nocella for Now With REAL™ News! It started out as a picturesque Christmas day for the Baumser family. It ended in disaster. “Who would have expected this?” said Nicole Baumser. “Christmas was ruined. Someone has to pay for this. Or at least lose their job.” How did it happen? What...
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SUCKER-PALOOZA! Scam Artists Eagerly Prepare to Fleece the Ever-Gullible January 6 Rioters
"These morons will believe anything,” said Mary (not her real name.) “I make serious cash by fleecing marks. To me, any gathering of the January 6 rioters is Christmas, Burning Man, and the Fyre Festival rolled into one.” Mary calls herself a “creative capitalist” but she is in fact what most...
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#JAN6 CHALLENGE! Republicans Film Selves Crapping in their Offices to Prove Jan 6 was No Big Deal
by Larry Nocella for Now With REAL™ News! The video starts off with a black screen and the text, “The #Jan6challenge.” It then fades in to reveal Texan Senator Redd Flooz (R-TX) in his office. He stands in front of his desk while wearing a standard dark blue business suit. Everything appears...
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THAT’S YOUR BRO-PINION! Fantasy Football Leagues are “Not At All Like Beauty Pageants” Insist Bros
Contestants perform before the judges in tight clothing, showing off their bodies. They do everything they can to catch a judge’s eye and impress. The competition is intense because of all the money on the line. There are coaches for every aspect the contestants need. There’s physical training,...
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A SLOW BURN! NRA Vows to Help Fight Wildfires with Flamethrowers
The NRA announced today that they have shipped several flamethrowers to Australia and California to help those regions fight raging wildfires. The move is part of the group’s recent efforts to expand its mission and attract new members. NRA membership has sagged in recent years due to the…
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APOLOGY IDOL! New Reality TV Series Begins Nationwide Talent Search for Best Public Apologies - Now With REAL™ News!
This episode is also available as a blog post here. “The public apology has become a fixture in American culture. The new series ‘Apology Idol’ seeks to capitalize on this trend.” So says visionary executive producer Maxim Korelbonne. “People get offended by anything and everything. There’s a…
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TWO BIRDS ONE STONE! U.S. Military Eliminates COVID-19 and Unemployment in Texas by Nuking Entire State - Now With REAL™ News!
This episode is also available as a blog post here. TWO BIRDS ONE STONE! U.S. Military Eliminates COVID-19 and Unemployment in Texas by Nuking Entire State March 5, 2021 by Larry Nocella, NWRN editor “I am pleased to announce that the number of COVID-19 cases in the state of Texas is precisely...
About this show
Totally Real Not Fake News. It's not news. It's REAL™ News! In our modern age, it’s hard to know what is true. We aim to make it a little bit more difficult. We use only the highest quality satirical smart-assery. Our mission statement is to make fun of jerks, whatever their political origin. At least it would be if we had a mission statement. Thank you so much for trying us out. We love you. And by we I mean me. Me love you. Larry Nocellaeditor, Now With REAL™ News!Twitter: @LarryNocellaEmail: [email protected]
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Larry Nocella