On The WetCoast Podcast
by Kat Stark
Welcome to On The Wet Coast, a blog & podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety. We talk polyamory and swinging, monogamish and open relationships; from dirty, dirty sex to heartbreak.We share our personal experiences and philosophy, observations and theories, what works for us...and where we messed it right up.
Episodes
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OTWC 045: Detoxifying Relationships with Mike Joseph
On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk to Mike Joseph, a radio personality, sex educator, and host of the podcast "Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone" It's a podcast that looks at the question, "What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century?’ Mike is an...
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OTWC 044: Sex and Relationships in Media with Kevin Patterson - On The Wet Coast
On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat & Flick talk to author and sex educator Kevin Patterson about representation of sexuality and relationships in media. Find Kevin Patterson @PolyRoleModels and KevinAPattersonl.com Buy Kevin Patterson's books - https://www.kevinapatterson.com/books or your...
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OTWC 043: Reconnecting with Dr. Liz Powell - On The Wet Coast
On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat & Flick talk to Psychologist Dr. Liz Powell about the challenges of re-entering the dating and sex game after more than a year of pandemic living. Find Dr. Liz @DrLizPowell and DrLizPowell.com Buy Building Open Relationships in pdf, ebook, or paperback -...
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OTWC 042: The Myth of "The Flow"
The most common question I get when talking about expressing needs during sex is, "Doesn't it wreck the mood?" As infuriating as I find it, I know it's not the fault of the person questioning since they can't help but have learned the lesson that any discussion is a mood-killer. From the first…
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OTWC 041: Tristan Taormino and Telling Your Story as Resistance
Our sex-negative culture pushes us to repress and feel shame about our sexuality or lifestyle. Stepping out of the shadows and telling your story becomes an important act of rebellion. There are risks involved in telling your story. More than just the frowning disapproval of judgy relatives at...
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OTWC 040: Novelty, Being in the Moment, and Gangbangs - On The Wet Coast
One of the most exciting things about non-monogamy can be the novelty of new adventures and new people in our lives. At the same time, one of the many sources of stress in our world is an excess of choice. How can we make the right decisions with so many options as we try to decide who to date…
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OTWC 039: Texting, Sexting, and Messaging - On The Wet Coast
There's a certain art to crafting the right kind of message to convey what we're feeling via characters on a screen. Since so much of modern communication is done on said screens it can be a lot of work figuring out your personal style and mode of messaging. Non-monogamous people spend extra time...
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OTWC 038: Accountability and Consent - On The Wet Coast
Accountability and Consent can feel like the least fun topics to discuss when it comes to sexy lifestyles but when we really focus on building these factors in a way that lets go of the definitions used by the justice system and focuses on the subjective experiences of the parties, our kink and...
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OTWC 037: Disappointing Dates - On The Wet Coast
It's always a bummer when dates don't go as planned or don't happen at all. There can be all kinds of reasons why things don't turn out as you'd hoped from unrealistic expectations, lack of connection, poor communication, uncooperative bodies, life circumstances, or just plain not being in the...
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OTWC 036: Strapping It On - On The Wet Coast
It's no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends...
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OTWC 035: Sexual Confidence - On The Wet Coast
We're always told that confidence is sexy, but how do we find the confidence to be our true sexual selves? How do we embrace our bodies and our kinks so we can enjoy the kinds of sex we desire? Finding the confidence in ourselves while living in a society that is all about tearing us down is...
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OTWC 034: Chosen Family - On The Wet Coast
Finding your people can be one of the most important things you do as you make your way in the world, and when you find them, it feels like coming home. Feels like family. Many of us have found a group or groups of people we consider to be family. Chosen family as opposed to biological or family…
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OTWC 033: Get Your Flirt On - On The Wet Coast
Figuring out how to express our interest in someone can be one of the most challenging things in dating, especially if we find them really attractive, fun, or interesting. What do we say? What if they're not into it? Why is it so hard to express ourselves in a fun, clear, non-creepy way? If what...
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OTWC 032 - Sex Work Matters - On The Wet Coast
Since the passage of FOSTA/SESTA in the US, sexual content on the internet has been progressively quashed, starting with shutting down places sex workers could advertise but flowing forward until Tumblr was all but shuttered when they were no longer allowed to have sexual content. Various…
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OTWC 031 - Libido - On The Wet Coast
Our desire for sexual experiences--both solo and with a partner or partners--fluctuates for countless reasons. Stress, fatigue, hormones, depression, body image, and connectivity are just a few of the things that can affect a person’s libido. Since we live in such a sex negative society talking...
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OTWC 030 - Building Community - On The Wet Coast
If you're lucky, the place where you're living has a thriving sex -positive community and it takes little effort to find and take part in events such as meet-ups, workshops, and conventions. Most likely, that's not the case and either there isn't much of a community or the community that is there...
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OTWC 029 - Consent - On The Wet Coast
Consent is a topic that has been an essential part of the non-monogamy experience, though not everyone is great at asking for or respecting it, and some feel like we talk about enthusiastic consent too much. In monogamous dating, it has only recently become a more nuanced discussion than the No...
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OTWC 028 - Have You Met Flick? - On The Wet Coast
We're doing something a little different on this episode. Many of you know a whole lot about Kat Stark thanks to their blog posts and book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut. Their co-host, co-conspirator, and true love is more of a mystery since he doesn't blurt his...
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OTWC 027: Jealousy Revisited - On The Wet Coast
Jealousy is a complex emotion that usually arises when we feel threatened or like we're not getting our needs met. It is almost always the reason people cite when they state that they couldn't ever be non-monogamous yet plenty of non-monogamous and polyamorous people experience jealousy…
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OTWC 026: Sex, Geeks, and Sexy Geekery - On The Wet Coast
Geekery & non-monogamy crossover in so many ways. So many of the people we've met, connected with, and sexed up have been fellow geeks that enjoy much of the same pop culture that we do, whether it's movies, tv shows, books, musical theatre, roleplaying games, or video games. You need to have...
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OTWC 025: Kinky Communication - On The Wet Coast
Sex, particularly kinky sex, is still a taboo subject in our sex negative culture. We're not supposed to talk about it so we don't learn good communication skills around it. It's one of those things that is supposed to just kinda happen. We hang onto a lot of the messages we got about sex growing...
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OTWC 024: More/Better Sex - On The Wet Coast
Click-baity title aside, many people would like to figure out how to get more sex and better sex in their lives. It's not a priority for everyone, and isn't required to be, but for those who are looking to get more sex in their lives, it can be a struggle. We're here to tell you it doesn't have…
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OTWC 023: Dating During Upheaval - On The Wet Coast
Ideally, when we’re meeting, dating, and sexing on people we want to be our best selves. We want to be feeling stable and settled and able to be present and focused for all the newness that might be coming our way. Unfortunately, circumstances are almost never ideal. Life constantly hits us with...
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OTWC 022: Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk - On The Wet Coast
Nearly everyone we know claims to be bad at flirting, the two of us included, but somehow many of us are scoring dates and getting laid. How do we get over our own brains to send that first message or turn a chat into something sexy and sassy? And once we're in a sexy space, how do we wrap our...
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OTWC 021: SCIENCE! - On The Wet Coast
Endless amounts of research has been done on the topic of love and relationships - generally focused on the heteronormative pair bonding that is the norm in our western culture. A few books such as Sex at Dawn and Mating in Captivity have been the go to tomes for the non-monogamous looking for...
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OTWC 020: Attraction - On The Wet Coast
Attraction is a mysterious thing. There are physical and personality characteristics in people we're almost always attracted to: perhaps a certain body type or sense of humour. Other times it can be harder to nail down why a certain person hits all the yes buttons for you, or what makes us…
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OTWC 019: Building Your Ideal Relationship - On The Wet Coast
Many of us in non-monogamy land started out in monogamous relationships. Not necessarily because those were right for us, but because they were the default. We didn’t even know that there were other relationship options. Once we start exploring ethical non-monogamy we discover countless…
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OTWC 018: Fantasies - On The Wet Coast
Fantasizing is big part of most healthy sex lives. We fantasize about things we’d like to have done to us and/or what we’d like to do to others. We also fantasize about things that scare, horrify, or even kind of (or completely) disgust us. All these things are part of healthy sexual brain...
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OTWC 017: Butt Stuff - On The Wet Coast
Butt stuff! It’s not just anal sex anymore, but a whole spectrum of ass play. What’s the appeal and the fascination? In our lifetime, it’s gone from being a secret perversion to borderline mainstream, referenced and discussed in pop culture both frankly and humorously. And some people feel...
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OTWC 016: Sex Toys - On The Wet Coast
We on the Wet Coast are huge fans of sex toys. We have a large collection and use them regularly both in solo play and with our partners. We've tried a lot of different things and have learned through extensive trial and error what types of toys work best for us, since not every toy works for…
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OTWC 015: Getting Things Started - On The Wet Coast
Getting things started is not always easy. Sending that first message on a dating site. Putting yourself out there with your romantic or sexy interest. Asking for that first kiss. Or even knowing how to flip that switch from social time to sexytime in a dating scenario - or play party. On this...
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OTWC 014: Pulling Back - On The Wet Coast
Like so many things in our lives, non-monogamous activity can be cyclical. There are times when we're out there dating a ton and boning all the sexy people, when we have the time and energy to enjoy the sexy connections we have made and will make. Yet there are other times when we need to pull…
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OTWC 013: Fitting In - On The Wet Coast
People whose identities don't conform to the norms within a community often feel isolated from that community. Figuring out how to fit in when you don't hew to the line of a group is an incredible challenge.
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OTWC 012: Impermanence, Breakups, and Relationship Transitions - On The Wet Coast
Not every relationship lasts forever--Whaaa?--turns out that happily ever after was kind of a fraudulent bill of goods we were sold as kids watching Disney movies. Relationships end or sometimes transition into subtly or entirely different forms. Tonight On The Wet Coast, Flick and I (Kat Stark)...
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OTWC 011: Sexy Vacations w Cooper S Beckett - On The Wet Coast
Sexy Vacations can be one of the incredibly fun perks of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Going to different cities and countries is always amazing, but going to different places and having sex with people: that takes the amazing factor up to a whole new level. From hitting up locals via a dating site...
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OTWC 010: Female Relationships Part Two - On The Wet Coast
In this episode of the On The Wet Coast podcast, we examine our experiences of public bisexuality through exhibitionism and how it relates to the male gaze, being good allies and supporting those more marginalized than us in the new political climate, and the pros and cons of doing the work of...
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OTWC 009: Female Relationships Part One - On The Wet Coast
The relationships between women in non-monogamy are rarely discussed other than that bisexual babes are hot together. Women have been taught to compete & struggle against even our closest female friends so how can we connect when there are people we love openly together? And how does it work when...
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OTWC 008: Group Sex Part Two - On The Wet Coast
One of the exceedingly fun features of non-monogamy can be group sex. Sexy, sweaty bodies writhing in a naked pile can be an outstanding experience, but it's not without complications. There are different things to take into consideration whether you're navigating a threesome, foursome, fivesome…
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OTWC 007: Group Sex Part One - On The Wet Coast
One of the exceedingly fun features of non-monogamy can be group sex. Sexy, sweaty bodies writhing in a naked pile can be an outstanding experience, but it's not without complications. There are different things to take into consideration whether you're navigating a threesome, foursome, fivesome…
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OTWC 006: Disclosure - On The Wet Coast
All relationships require communication, but good communication is even more essential in ethically non-monogamous relationships where multiple people's needs and wants intersect. Each partnership has its own needs & rules for disclosure. How & when to make new information known can be one of the...
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OTWC 005: Autonomy - On The Wet Coast
Autonomy is a challenging subject for many of us. We're encouraged to be independent while at the same time we're told that putting the needs of the people we love above our own is the definition of love & noble sacrifice. Most of us make life decisions based not only on how they affect us...
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OTWC 004: Triads - On The Wet Coast
On this episode we be discuss Triad relationships with special guest Iris @irisopens on Twitter Flick & I are podcasting from our first triad getaway (sorry about the unavoidable background noise) with our awesome girlfriend Iris and she's joining us to talk about this unique & challenging...
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OTWC 003: Mental Illness - On The Wet Coast
On this episode we'll be discussing mental illness in non-monogamy with special guest Cooper S Beckett from Life On The Swingset podcast and www.coopersbeckett.com Those of us in non-monogamous circles spend a unique amount of time relating with others in a very intimate manner. When we let go of...
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OTWC 002: Stress - On The Wet Coast
On this episode we’re discussing Stress in ethical non-monogamy. There are so many positive aspects about open relationships but one of the negatives we’ve discovered is how stressful they can be. Everyone knows that jealousy, self-esteem issues, or mismatched levels of feelings can take their...
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OTWC 001: Jealousy - On The Wet Coast
Welcome to On The Wet Coast a podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety. On this episode - originally released on the Gentle Perverts Social Club Podcast Episode 11 on Swingset.fm - we wade into the murky green waters of jealousy. We all know that as non-monogamous…
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About this show
Welcome to On The Wet Coast, a blog & podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety. We talk polyamory and swinging, monogamish and open relationships; from dirty, dirty sex to heartbreak.We share our personal experiences and philosophy, observations and theories, what works for us...and where we messed it right up.
Hosted by
Kat Stark