One of us is Board
by One of us is Board
Welcome to One of us is Board, a professionally unprofessional film podcast where two Scottish film graduates prove that a degree doesn't equate to knowing what the hell you're talking about when it comes to the movies. Why not join us and let us know what we got wrong? (All complaints to Calum please - he'd love to hear them!)
Episodes
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Song of the South (1946) - In Which We Dance on a Minefield
Song of the South (1946)is up next on our banned films month and we really can't win with this one. Not really sure why we thought this was a good idea, but it's watched now! If you wanna learn about Potter's Fields, you'll love this one. We do also discuss slightly less controversial things at…
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The Exorcist (1973) - Shocking or Frightening?
We bring you an unusual episode today, as not only did we watch The Exorcist (1973) together, but we also recorded it sharing the same microphone. Fear not, it sounds okay, and our banter is just as average as it always is! We get into a debate about whether we find this to be scary, so you'll…
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A Clockwork Orange (1971) - Not the Wholesome Glasgow Subway
Our banned films Halloween month continues with A Clockwork Orange (1971), a film which neither of us had seen and which neither of us can remember picking. This one is a film student's favourite, and we were both film students, high-scoring ones too, so was it our favourite? No, for we are not...
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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) - Danse Macabre
Welcome to our annual Spoopy month! This week, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) kicks off our banned movies month. All of them are scary in their own ways, but one is definitely not like the others. You will see. This is another classic horror film that Sam has not seen, so don't feel ashamed…
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Titanic (1997) - Thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean
Titanic (1997) is the last film in our cultural moments month, that has extended into October for reasons that we can't remember. Believe it or not, this is another one that Sam hasn't seen, but she somehow knows how it ends. Weird that. Is this better than the Godfather? You'll have to listen to...
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The Godfather (1972) - Don't forget the cannoli
This is probably really embarrassing to admit, but neither of us had watched The Godfather (1972) until right now. Both of us went to University for film and media, and got through four years of that course, and then spent years doing a film podcast - all without seeing this film. Why? Well, we…
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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) - Dodge. Duck. Dip. Dive. Dodge
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) is up next on our fever dream of a podcast. Speaking of which, Calum was very unwell for this episode, but we think it holds up okay. Does Dodgeball hold up okay though? Who knows. Certainly not us. Let us know your thoughts in the comments. Join us next…
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The Notebook (2004) - Rooted in Reality
The Notebook (2004) is finally here! It only took two uploads this time, so it's a good week to be a One us is Board stan. This episode was originally almost two hours, we're not sure how we got so much content from The Notebook, but then again it was cultural moment for a reason. Do you want to...
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The Fault in Our Stars (2014) - Okay.
We're back! This month, we're looking at some movies that brought about cultural moments that we somehow missed. The Fault in Our Stars (2014) was huge on tumblr and amongst book fans, and until now, neither of us have watched it. So, did we miss out? Or have now wasted our time by trying to…
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Tennessee (2008) - Sicky Voice
Tennessee (2008) wraps up our slightly delayed second 'not like other movies' month. We had to change it from quirky month because Calum decided to slot in a film about a cult. It is what it is. To make up for it, we have a half-hour special of the Calum listens to and describes the Fifty Shades...
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The Lobster (2015) - The Polar Bear and the Panda
The Lobster (2015) is up next on our month of quirky films, in celebration of our super quirky Calum. Good news, this one is actually quirky, not just disturbing. It is disturbing, too, though. What is also disturbing is our lack of geographical knowledge. If you want to hear Calum guess the...
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Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) - Whoever the F*ck
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) is up next, and having now seen it, we apologise that is part of our quirky indie movie month for Calum's birthday. We assure you that we don't think cults are quirky. Pinky swear. However, for those who don't know the offside rule, you do get a terrible...
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Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - I got a pocketful
Little Miss Sunshine (2006) is our next totally on-time episode. No technical issues here. The file just decided to be quirky, just like our theme this month. Calum has decided to punish us all by choosing movies that aren't like other movies, but he failed this time because everyone loves that...
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Ghost World (2001) - Manic Pixie Dream Buscemi
Ghost World (2001) is the beginning of a new theme! We're doing another "I'm not like other movies" month to celebrate manic-pixie-dream Calum. He is turning old and cynical this month, so he has chosen the perfect film to start us off. If anyone loved this film as teen, are you okay? How are you...
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Carry On Camping (1969) - Unwanted Parcels
Carry On Camping (1969) wraps up our very short Carry On Month. Don't worry, we will probably have another soon. The main thing is, we are back and we're watching one of the most highest rated Carry On films. Hopefully it lives up to expectations and we won't be labelled as fake Carry On stans…
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Carry On Cleo (1964) - Infamy
Carry On Cleo (1964) is first up in our third Carry On month. We are so very close to rebranding to a Carry On Podcast at this point. Being that this is our third go of these, you'd maybe assume that the quality is going down each time around. You would be wrong, but don't worry we are just as...
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Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (2025) - The End of an Era
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (2025) ends our era of Downton Abbey movies. Who'd have thought we'd all become so invested in the lives of the rich? A bit more happens in this one than in the others, but still, arguably, not a lot in comparison to the series. We do get some very messy choices…
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Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) - A Delightful Fanfic
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) is up next on our Downton Abbey Month, where all the episodes are on time, and nothing bad ever happens. Last week, the King came for a spot of lunch, and nothing bad happened. This week, we're all off to either holiday in France or watch a film being made, and...
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Downton Abbey (2019) - “I don’t argue, I explain”
Downton Abbey (2019), the first movie, kicks off our Downton Abbey month that Calum has somehow made happen. The King and Queen are coming for tea, and this causes many shenanigans. Will the staff get to give the King dinner? Will the rich people stay rich? You'll have to listen to find out, or...
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The Condemned (2007) - It's all OUR fault
The Condemned (2007) wraps up Sam's reality-TV birthday month, and not one trashy TV episode was discussed. Which is funny, because all the TV we watched in Portugal was trash reality TV: which, on that note, shoutout to Ridiculousness. So, it's a movie made by WWE starring Stone Cold Steve…
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Guns Akimbo (2019) - Millennials Shouting at the Cloud
We're back! Did you miss us? We missed you as we were tucking into our all-inclusive buffets and drinking cocktails by the pool. Guns Akimbo (2019) helps drag us back to reality. If by reality you mean a stylised, quirky Daniel Radcliffe movie with a nonsensical plot. It's more like a brain...
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The Truman Show (1998) - Happy Ending?
The Truman Show (1998) is up next on our reality TV month! Will it be better than EDTV? Yeah. Probably. Many people have analysed this better than we ever could, but that's fine; they don't have our dazzling personalities. Join us next week as we watch Guns Akimbo (2019)
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EDtv (1999) - EDits
EDtv (1999) is the first film of Sam's birthday month! We are doing some reality tv movies, mostly because Sam's dad wanted us to watch EDtv for the podcast, and Sam didn't have any better ideas. So, EDtv, a film neither of us has heard of, and a film largely overshadowed by The Truman Show, is…
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Scrubs (2026) - 200th Episode Special!
Welcome to our 200th episode! At least, we hope it is. We're not known for being great at maths. To celebrate, we decided to do something a little different this week and watch the two brand new episodes of the new season of Scrubs. Sam loved Scrubs, Calum was a casual viewer, so does this…
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The Host (2013) - Twi-lite
The Host (2013) is the divergent of our divergence month, because they ended at three instead of the four they were meant to have. It's a YA that came out in a similar era so we figured we'd be okay. How wrong we were. Having now watched it, we don't know if we would count it in that cycle. It's...
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The Divergent Series: Allegiant (2016) - Who's David
The Divergent Series: Allegiant (2016) is the last film in the Divergent Series, to the surprise of everyone involved, because it shouldn't be. For the first time since we started this podcast, we've watched an incomplete series. Oh well. Does the story end at a good point? Well, arguably, the...
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The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015) - Too Smart For The Box
The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015) is up next in our little Divergent series, and man, does the title make me sad. If the title written is more than one word long, dear listener, please know I've lost the internal battle to just call it Insurgent. What wonders are in store this time? Will we...
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Divergent (2014) - Smells Like Hunger Games, Tastes Like Twilight
We're back, and we're starting this dystopian year with a dystopian series. Divergent (2014) is our first film of 2026! You know that we're a fan of YA sci-fi films, so it only made sense to do the last of the holy trinity. Bonus, we also get to do a little personality quiz to see what faction we...
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Holiday in the Wild (2019) - Technically a Christmas Film
Holiday in the Wild (2019) gives you the unique opportunity to watch rich people fawn over elephants. It already sounds better than last week's film, and it is! Thank God! There was a very real danger there that we weren't going to feel the Christmas spirit through Netflix. Thank you for joining…
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Christmas Inheritance (2017) - Inheritance is a funny way to describe nepotism
Christmas Inheritance (2017) starts this round of Netflix inception. This film featured in The Princess Switch, The Holiday Calendar, and Falling for Christmas, so we've been dodging it for a long time. Apparently, this is considered to be the first in the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, so...
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The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023) - Thunderpants to Victory
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023) concludes our slightly extended Hunger Games month! We would love if Sunrise on the Reaping was already out to watch as well, but alas, we have not been offered a look at the rough edit. Join us next week as we start our Netflix Inception...
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part Two (2015) - Justice for Boggs
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part Two (2015) is the last part of our Katniss series, but it isn't the last part of our Hunger Games month. Seeing as we're so late in coming back, we decided to extend this month to include the prequel. Finally, we're back in an arena of sorts and not just watching...
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One (2014) - Justice for Cinna
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014) is a truly ugly title to type. Thanks, I hate it. It is up next on our Hunger Games month, though, so we'd better suck it up. This is the first Hunger Games without an actual games to it, so will we enjoy this one less? Will we remember Cinna? You'll...
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The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) - Justice for Mags
Welcome back to our Hunger Games month! This week we're watching Catching Fire (2013) because that's the one that comes after the first one. How many cannons will we give this one out of five? Will we get on board the Gale train? So many questions, such little time. Featuring a special outro!…
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The Hunger Games (2012) - We're So Starving
It's finally time for our Hunger Games month! We're sticking with this new thing in which we don't suffer through watching the films for the podcast. The Hunger Games (2012) is up first, and this is possibly Sam's first time watching it. We're expecting tons of corrections on this one from our...
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The Boy Next Door (2015) - But what of Mr Sandborn
The Boy Next Door (2015) is the last film in our half-assed Halloween celebration. We hope you enjoyed it and understood our rating system. If you did can you please explain the system to us? An alternate subtitle for this episode is “no one wants to hang out with Jlo's son.” We're a little bit...
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Unfriended (2014) - It's giving EyeToy
We're back! Did you miss us? We missed you! We're starting our triumphant return with our Half-Assed Halloween month! It's funny because we're starting in the middle of the month. Hopefully, we haven't ruined that by explaining it. Unfriended (2014) is the perfect film to begin with, which anyone...
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Devil and Angel/恶棍天使 (2015) - Ending with Chaos
Devil and Angel/恶棍天使 (2015) is the last film of Calum's Chineaboo Dream month and the last film we will cover on this podcast. Until we come back in September, that is. We thought we'd conclude with a movie that tens of people have seen and enjoyed. Is that a Wuxia film? No. Not in the slightest....
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Curse of the Golden Flower (2006) - Shakespearean Wuxia
Curse of the Golden Flower (2006) is up next in Calum's Chine-aboo Dream month! We have another Wuxia film, but this one is a lot less highly regarded than the other ones that have featured this month. Does this mean we enjoyed it less? Of course not, we are nothing but natural contrarians. We…
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Hero (2002) - Lessons Learned Through Calligraphy
Hero (2002) is up next in our poorly named kinda Wuxia month in honour of Calum's birthday. Hero is beloved on the internet, but is it beloved by Sam and Calum? Well, it certainly is colourful and that alone gives it points. We're easily distracted by shiny things. We expertly demonstrate our…
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House of Flying Daggers (2004) - Die Romantic
House of Flying Daggers (2004) is up next on Calum's Chineaboo Birthday Month! Calum has been given the early gift of a cold, so please enjoy his especially sonorous voice. If you miss Twilight month, you will probably enjoy this episode. If you enjoy this film, Calum is fine, Sam might be in...
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) - Everyone Ships It
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) kicks off Calum's birthday month. We're watching Wuxia movies, but we can't think of a name for this month that won't get us in trouble. Sam isn't educated enough, and Calum is Calum. Cookies to anyone who can think of a name. Hopefully, this month and this...
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Carry On Henry (1971) - Cecil (our podcast host asked to give it a name, so I did =) - Calum)
What better way to conclude our second Carry On month than with a look at another of Sam's favourites from her childhood? And hey! I'm getting to write a description for once! (It's me - Calum! Mwah hah hah hah hah!). Carry On Henry, as one might expect, follows a fictionalised account of Henry...
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Carry On Cruising (1962) - Good Lookin'
Carry On Cruising (1962) is next on our Carry On Carrying On Month. Will a cruise beat the highs and excitement of last week's spying heist? The premise would have you believe that it is unlikely, and it would be right. The stakes have never been lower, but that's okay, we're not here for the…
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Carry On Spying (1964) - Double Oh, Oh...
Carry On Spying (1964) is up next in our Carry On Again Month. Spoiler alert, this one might be Calum's favourite Carry On film (for now). If you haven't seen this one, you're missing out on some of the most quotable Carry On moments, and you know how we usually cringe at quoting stuff so that's...
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Carry On Cabby (1963) - The Little Hattie Who Could
Carry On Cabby (1963) starts our new month and new theme. We enjoyed doing on the Carry On series so much that we've decided to do some more. Sam has chosen another fun selection of films for Calum to enjoy for the first time. If you want to join us in the Carry On Rewatch, we're watching Carry…
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Yellow Submarine (1968) - Him
Yellow Submarine (1968) is the last film to feature in our Quirky Animation month, and this one certainly fits the brief. Believe it or not, Sam hadn't watched this until Calum decided we were watching this for this podcast. This means she doesn't get to keep her passport. She'll be moving to...
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Paprika (2006) - What in the Audacity
Paprika (2006) is up next in our quirky animations month. You'll have probably heard all about this month on social media because Sam has been really on top of posting about it. No one can remember why this film was chosen for us to watch, but it definitely fits the theme. Oh Japan. Join us next...
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The Iron Giant (1999) - Might Be A Hero Today BRB
The Iron Giant (1999) is next on our quirky animation month. This one is a bit of a palette cleanser as it's the least quirky, but it's still quirky enough to pass. The main character is called Hogarth and that says it all. This one was a bit of a childhood trauma for Sam, which is something…
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The Triplets of Belleville (2003) - Grotesque Charm
The Triplets of Belleville (2003), or Belleville Rendez-vous (2003) if you're in the UK, kicks off our Quirky Animation month! That's the second quirky movie month that Calum has chosen for us all, proving that he just isn't like the other girls. Sam watched this in French, Calum watched it in...
About this show
Welcome to One of us is Board, a professionally unprofessional film podcast where two Scottish film graduates prove that a degree doesn't equate to knowing what the hell you're talking about when it comes to the movies. Why not join us and let us know what we got wrong? (All complaints to Calum please - he'd love to hear them!)
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