Peeling the Onion

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on the phrase: “be grateful, it could be worse” and the practices on gratitude at different levels and sometimes taken to extremes. They talk about: Being grateful and gratitude How sometimes can invalidate emotional experiencesEmotional bypassingBoundariesYou are allowed to complain People dont need fixingHere are the highlights of this episode:0:55 The words grateful and gratitude 2:43 You can’t complain4:16 It can invalidate emotional experiences 5:01 It stops you to think about what’s underneath 5:59 Emotional bypassing9:16 Complaining as a way of processing what needs changing10:39 Always being grateful and not complaining can also foster isolation 11:28 Negating the importance of the situation13:37 Sometimes people just need to be heard

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on the phrase: “the only thing holding you back is you” and how it's actually a form of blame. It takes a complex interaction of relationships, systems, privilege, opportunity, timing, and effort, and reduces it to a single cause, the individual. They talk about: Victim blamingDynamics and projectionCognitive biasBlame and responsibility Elemental SmugnessHere are the highlights of this episode:1:27 The amygdala gets hijacked.1:46 This phrase appeals to personal agency2:21 You are the only one responsible for anything happening in your life2:30 There are so many variables to take into account3:32 It takes away any critical analysis3:38 We don’t all have the same 24 hours in the day7:45 People can not just forget about their personal circumstances8:15 Dynamic and projection9:28 Positions of power and higher status 10:43 Elemental Smugness 11:53 You and only you is the one to blame 12:28 Cognitive bias13:13 People are doing their best with what they have

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on the phrase; “ fake it until you make it” and how it went from bringing courage in moments of self-doubt to becoming an unethical way to succeed in professions and life. They also talk about the implications of faking your emotions and pains which will then translate into burnout and poor mental health They talk about: Professionalism and ethicsThe two sides of the phrase “ fake it until you make it” How social media and some industries praise fakeness Reputation as a professional in any areaSelf abandonment False sense of successHere are the highlights of this episode:1:03 You don’t want a brain surgeon to fake it..1:48 How serious and real are you being? 2:09 There are two sides of the coin2:54 You don't want professionals to fake it but it’s also motivational3:44 Where is the responsibility in this?3:58 The false sense of grandiosity.4:41 Is it ethical?5:40 Don’t confuse ‘fake it until you make it’ with lack of knowledge,and professionalism7:49 The industry encourages you to fake it to then sell you -get over your impostor syndrome course.8:03 Safety is a key aspect 8:21 When we fake it… who are we putting first? Ourselves 8:53 Why is it ok for some professions to fake it but not for others?9:46 Social media can confuse people with all these phrases.10:52 Are you putting out a version of yourself that isn’t quite true?11:13 Is all about reputation11:39 The entrepreneurial industry has become a rat race that encourages people to fake it until they make it.12:32 Faking it may also mean you need to dismiss your emotions14:05 Self abandonment 14:47 Social media will wrongly rewire your thoughts16:16 Staying in your comfort zone because faking it is actually working

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones deconstruct the popular phrase "you're never given more than you can handle". They argue it's harmful, dismissive, and isolating. The duo also agrees it invalidates real pain, suppresses emotions, promotes solo resilience over relational support and discourages help-seeking, especially for women and across cultures.They talk about: Resilience is not a one-size-fits-all tool.Societal pressure to "keep up" alone; reinforces failure narrative and isolation.Suppressing feelings, invalidates pain (burnout, trauma, grief, chronic illness).British culture expects people to get on with it and in Latin American to accept God’s will Lack of connectionEmpathetic response options Here are the highlights of this episode:00:59 Life is not evenly distributed. How can we put everyone in the same group and say... you are never given more than you can handle?"01:31 If you're having a hard time... the implication is you should be able to handle it on your own.03:40 It isolates people instead of encouraging them to find the support they need. 04:32 It encourages emotional suppression.07:00 Do you have to endure the difficult situation no matter what? 07:55 Not looking for help top not look weak.08:27 Stiff upper lip09:27 It dismisses real pain10:20 This phrase is anti relational 10:44 This is hard, how can I support you?11:54 We thrive, heal and grow when we connect with others13:34 I am not valuable, I am not important enough14: 39 No pressure, take your time to process. You don’t have to handle it all on your own15:09 Struggle doesn't mean failure, it means something needs attention

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Fear as a primal instinct, was used for survival, nowadays it is used to name any emotion that brings discomfort and it should not be misused as it can be dangerous and reckless to use it lightly. They talk about: Fear as a primitive emotionThe difference between fear, discomfort, anxiety, vulnerabilityPutting fear in the same box as other emotions may not allow personal growthLearn to describe what you are feeling with different words. Here are the highlights of this episode:01:05 Fear as the most primitive emotion, evolved for survival.02:53 Fear is there to tell you there is danger ahead.03:32 But is it actually fear or is it something else?04:36 We can't make an informed choice about what we do because we're just blindly leaping in and doing it anyway.05:07 Putting everything in the same box does not allow us to perceive danger or maybe grow.06:03 Learn to describe what you are feeling to know what to do next.07:18 Standing on a cliff and jumping without assessing risks?09:15 People need to name the emotion and the feelings for what they are. 12:50 Name the emotion or the feeling using different words (expand your vocabulary)14:49 The internal narrative may tell us to do something we shouldn't15:23 Try not to confuse the emotions 16:40 Take your time to pause, to reflect, and to feel your emotions.

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “purpose” : find your purpose, live your purpose. By definition purpose is the reason for which something or someone exists, is done or is created. But purpose can also be as simple or as meaningful as you’d like.They talk about: Meaning of purpose by definitionWho are you if you have no purpose? Purpose can and may be dynamic and change overtimePurpose can be as simple or and meaningful as you’d likeBeing ok with who you are and not necessarily trying to save othersHere are the highlights of this episode:1:02 Meaning of purpose by definition 1:38 My purpose is to be ok with my decisions and the things that I do. 2:09 Not everything needs to make everyone happy all the time2:38 Finding purpose could create an awful lot of pressure on some3:05 Who am I If I don’t know what my purpose is?4:03 Doing purposeful things to please others and feel accomplished5:56 Does not need to be meaningful to other people nor huge6:03 Finding purpose and validation7:10 Purpose now can be different from what it was 10 years ago, 7:41 Purpose is dynamic 8:50 Maybe you don’t need to find your purpose right now9:56 I am better because I have a purpose and you don’t?10:52 Is it mandatory to have a purpose in life to be successful? 11:40 Purpose does not have to be grandiose 13:51 Purpose could be seen as aims or goals for different stages in your life

In today’s episode hosts Julia and Angela discuss the phrase "neurodiversity is a superpower" and the implications it can have for individuals with neurodiversity and encourage listeners to share their own perspectives and experiences, and to engage on LinkedIn post in a deeper discussion about the complexities and nuances of the "neurodiversity is a superpower" narrative.They talk about:"Neurodiversity is a superpower".Struggles and challenges individuals with neurodiversity face.Managing the anxiety of neurotypical and neurodiverse people.Validating the lived experiences of those with neurodiversityLack of real inclusion and diversity initiatives(01:07) Negating the struggles(01:47) We are all in the spectrum… no we are really not(02:17) Who came up with “neurodiversity is a superpower”, a neurodiverse or a neurotypical?(04:23) As neurodiverse I do feel judged and not accepted(05:43) “Neurodiversity is a superpower" can be an attempt to manage anxiety(06:16) Glossing over things, is never going to help people(07:14) Masking: coping behaviours to fit in and be accepted(07:52) Constantly masking can be hurtful.(08:37) The responsibility of having to be less(09:08) Is there really inclusion in companies and schools?(10:40) Nuances of neurodiversity(13:13) Invitation to share how do you feel about this phrase as neurodiverse adult or parent

Today Julia and Angela deconstruct “Always think/be positive” and share how positivity can be helpful, but forcing positivity can invalidate human emotions and prevents honest relationships, personal growth, and can build a sense of frustration or wrong doing. Healthy emotional life requires accepting all emotions.They talk about:1. Constant positivity is psychologically unrealistic2. The Pressure to stay always positive invalidates other emotions3. Emotions as data4. Suppressing emotions prevents awareness of problems that need change.5. Toxic positivity blocks authentic relationships.Here are the highlights for this episode:(02:22) Constant positivity is physically impossible(03:02) Pressure to stay positive at all costs invalidates other emotions(04:34) Emotions are data.(05:09) Children need to express and live with their emotions safely.(05:59) Learning how to express emotions and not be frighten of them.(07:26) Other emotions may allow you to see things thart need changing.(08:29) Staying positive all the time makes you avoid real issues that might need adressing.(10:06) We can not hide behind constant positivity just to avoid, conflict, difficult converstions and reality.(10:37) Staying always positive may not allow you to have real relationships(12:04) Pause and reflect about your feelings and emotions about different situations and peopleConnect with Angela and Julia

We have all read motivational statements on social media and pop psychology, but what happens when that statement actually negatively impacts our mental health and wellbeing?The hosts, Julia Rogers and Angela Quinones, challenge the common belief that if you keep working hard on something, it will eventually work out. They share personal experiences where instead this led to frustration and sense of not feeling enough. Instead suggest to keep goals and effort realistic, pivot goals when necessary and find the right support when things are not working the way we expected.(01:11) Exploring the notion that "If You Keep Working on It, It Has to Work"(03:53) Sometimes it is better to rearrange what you’re doing to make it work.(04:40) Sense of frustration. Stop-Refllect.(06:09) The Importance of Thoughts, Reflection, Consideration and Analytical Skills(07:53) Question yourself, without sabotaging(07:58) The need for balance between hard work and realistic expectations through reflection and critical thinking.(08:25) Realign and Pivot Goals if you need to(10:50) Realism vs Unrealistic Dreams(12:25) Awareness