PODCAST · society
Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique
by Pitney & Amelia
Here, queer, and in your ear, every other Friday.A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY! We may be awful, but we're right!
Episodes
-
The End
"So, this is it. We're going to die." -- Arthur Dent That felt a little bit appropriate. Sorry if it freaked you out. It's the very last episode, y'all. Am I sniffling as I type this? You better believe it. This has been one hell of a ride. We love you. So long. Farewell. Auf wiedersehen.…
more -
She's Shitting on my Shoulder
Big announcement in the show intro. Huge. Ya gotta listen to find out! How to be more present and purposeful in your life instead of floating along and just reacting to the shit that happens to you, using a few witchy YouTubers as inspiration! Links for them both below. Peeves: Big box stores...
-
Gee, Your Hair Smells Like The '70s
I guess you had to be there. And by there we mean the 1970s. Smells and textures that you just can't understand if you were born after 1980. And if you're old like us, enjoy this very weird walk down memory lane! Peeves: People who park on the street and post bullshit comments! Promo: Octoberpod...
-
Hubba Hubba!
Heat, bugs, and peeling skin... it must be summer! Pitney remembers Spike-sitting. Amelia ponders making money off her feet. A discussion about eggs veers into memories from Guatemala and a slur in Spanish. Such fun! Peeves: Misuse of words like "genre" and "aesthetic" and phrases like "real…
more -
ADH-Whee!
Take a trip through our ADHD brains! How it feels to be on constant "side quests," and how to make life work for the brain you have. Then, since we have no need to keep to a topic this week, we were free to take the winding road from managing the excess flesh after weight loss, and the joys of...
-
Outrage Us!
When things that used to be important in your daily life just aren't happening any more and you hadn't even noticed. Like music, movies, TV, and routine stuff. Tangents about work schedules, Secretariat, the SF Giants Pride fiasco, Pitney's mom loves her Big Gay Son, Aunt Sis's ring, giant...
-
Disgusted & Thrilled
Happy Pride! Grab a brick! This week we share with you the delightful story of a queer drag aerialist and vaudevillian from a century ago who lived and died in Round Rock, Texas, a lawsuit against an anime convention where guys got sick after drinking "foot juice," and an Am I The Asshole story...
-
No Flossing in Public!
No Texas Frightmare Weekend again this year, because reasons. We take as few moments to harken back to the beginning of the podcast, which was closely tied to TFW! Memories of retail customers of yore: The Snob of Ross Dress for Less. The Lying Returner of the Purple Pumps. Miss Wine of the...
-
They Can't All Be ABBA
After a quick catching up (including dental work and horrible smells), Pitney and Amelia talk about the phenomenon of music acts being hugely successful around the world, especially in Europe, and yet they're unknown in the U.S., leading to a pledge to watch Eurovision this year. Amelia's peeved...
-
We'll be right back!
Life got in the way, as it does. So we weren't able to get a real episode out this week. Stay tuned. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite…
more -
Pickle Slut
An apology to those who googled "butter" and saw stuff. Pickles. Memories of Geocities. Catch phrases. Encores. And another long MCU-style post-credits scene. (Did you know we put those at the end of every episode? Just a little extra treat for those who stick it out!) Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps...
-
Personal Private Butter
The correct way to pronounce "Reese's Pieces." Alternative news media that fails to cater to its audience. Then... BUTTER. Private Butter. Personal, private butter. You'll end up as fascinated and confused as we are, I promise. Promo: True Crime South Africa https://truecrimesouthafrica.com/…
more -
Humpsmaxxing Your Camel
Pitney and Amelia share news stories with each other that reveal that the worlds of incels and camels are remarkably similar. And our pet peeves this week are clown-level false eyelashes and inappropriate clapping. Promos: Morbid Forest https://linktr.ee/themorbidforest 2 Skeptical Chaps...
-
Photobomb Aplomb
Peeves and tangents, that's us in a nutshell! Unfair and, frankly, creepy beauty standards for women. Making FaceTime calls in public. Vets who really love doggies. Befriending a local legend. Oh and by the way, that fabulous moment in the Marvel-style post credits scene came from this episode of...
-
Bears of Little Brain
Just when we think our brains stopped working because we're old, we realize we've always been calendar dumb. Showing up to things on the wrong day, not knowing what year it is... dumb. Commiserate with us! And this week in Peeves, people who dance in commercials and skinny bitches in fat chairs....
-
Like, Bag Those Opinions!
We're getting old and we don't care what people think! Generation Zygote needs to mind their business. Are we the first generation to ignore the whole idea of "age appropriate?" You're welcome, children. And in Peeves, the unnecessary complexity of unsubscribing and the arrogance of traffic…
more -
Get a Load of Byler
First off, the weekly peeves: annoying ways of talking and slamming doors! Then Amelia loses her mind a little bit after observing online fandom and how wrong it is, specifically what she saw while falling down a Stranger Things rabbithole. Then things take a Hallmark turn because Pitney is a…
more -
Oh! Oh! Olestra!
We're kicking off the new year like old folks with aches and pains and menopause. What's new for 2026? Doing our best to be a safe place to land when the world is too much. And introducing a very silly and bitchy segment, PEEVES! This week: People who don't read the information in front of them…
more -
Ho Ho Hozempic
We've reached the end of 2025! How the hell did THAT happen? We're letting out lifetimes of frustration about movies and music that are considered "Christmas" when they just aren't. Who makes the rules? WE DO. Promos: Octoberpod https://www.octoberpodvhs.com/ 2 Skeptical Chaps...
-
Thankful 2025
Can you believe this is our TENTH Thankful episode? We worked harder than usual to think of things that made us feel gratitude. Because it's been... well, YOU KNOW. We're thankful for the coven and all the hard work we did, renewed fandom feelings, losing touch with an old friend who apparently...
-
Crotch Couture
Yep, that's a dancing merkin you see there. She's tappin' her little heart out to sell some dumb crap for Kim Kardashian. But first, a catty side quest about language on the way to a long list of good stuff that's making us happy these days. Stuff like management having Pitney's back, Amelia...
-
Very Special Halloween Special
(Surprise! I put it out a few days early so you have time to share it before Halloween... so share it with a friend!!) Well, gang, we made it. Halloween 2025. You did so great that you've earned the best content we could give you: one segment after another of top-notch Halloween awesomeness. It's...
-
Cut Your Own Cheese!
The first of our one-two punch of Halloween! This week we get positively catty about an old favorite from the 1970s, The Hardy Boys Meet Dracula! It's giving pointless subplots, bad accents, and the Phantom of the Paradise. Sort of. Then Amelia flips her wiglet over all the little things bugging...
-
Pick Up The Phone!
Pitney celebrates his birthday by being outraged by young people. From texting versus phone calls versus email to fake eyelashes and contour and "a dewy finish," we're telling everyone to get off our lawn! _____________________________________________________ Coven meeting notes: Get Inspired –...
-
Important Info
Quick bonus replacement announcement whatever you'd call it to let you know what's happening today and what's coming up! Don't forget to check the blog! https://bitchenb.libsyn.com/site/better-weather-whither-leather We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn…
more -
Contarian About Marion
Way back at the end of August, when life was simpler and Amelia hadn't yet had surgery on her hands, we got together to record what was going to be a fairly normal episode. It's giving middle age aches and pains, it's giving Cracker Barrel, but it's mostly a discussion about that trashbag Marion...
-
Bubu Zuzu Delulu!
It's Labubu, and so much more...you know we're really back when we can't stay on topic to save our lives! A list of stuff we covered: Trae Crowder, Puttin On Airs, the Labubu craze, our first Hatin on Satan in ages, a quick AITA story, a gaggle of GoodGoodGoods, and what it's like to suddenly be...
-
Back Away from the Cannibal
We're back from yet another break! We are pretty sure we're done with breaks for the rest of the year. We're so glad to be back that we kick it off with all the goods. Then Amelia shares a scary conversation she had with a horror fan. Plus assorted health talk that's NOT about cancer; Pitney's...
-
Hooray for Boobies!
Boobs! Cans! Gazongas! Sweater puppies! Pretty much sums up the episode, but there's more to it. Amelia has brought her husband along to fill in for Pitney this week, and while they chat about their shared love of movies with lots of boobs in them, she realizes she never came out to him back when...
-
Doctor Whaaa?
Some chitchat about Pitney's week-long visit with Amelia, discussion about rude breeders in stores and parking lots, and then big frustration about what the hell happened in the season finale of Doctor Who. And we're still reeling from the accuracy of the tarot reading we did last month. You can...
-
Bitchen in the Kitchen!
We are bitchen in Amelia's kitchen this week, showing you a recipe for a delicious broccoli soup for people like Pitney who don't even LIKE broccoli! It's fresh, it's vegan, and it's got the NOOCH! (And yes, I said SHOWING. visit our YouTube channel to see the video version of this episode!) Soup...
-
Eight Pound Puppies
They say the human head weighs eight pounds. Find out in this episode what else does. We are back from our month long hiatus and we've got a lot to talk about! Family crap, medical crap, political crap… you name it, we crap on it. And then after the coven meeting, we get happy again with the Good...
-
Whistle Dixie!
Amelia explains why not paying your taxes is a stupid protest. We discuss cutting MAGA family out of our lives. Pitney saw a hot mess in the street. Plus Good Good Goods and a special announcement. Coven meeting notes: Get Inspired - Doing Hard Things Take Action - Time to Mobilize Touch Grass…
more -
Noocho Libre
Guess which one of us is going vegetarian... you'll be surprised! Coven meeting notes: The Wheel – Happy Ostara! Get Inspired – What's Next? Take Action – Say the Thing Touch Grass – Dirty Talk Reflect & Journal – The World MORE INFORMATION AT OUR BLOG: https://bitchenb.libsyn.com/site/saying-yes...
-
Schroedinger's Boob
Keeping it real the only way we know how... to take our personal drama and laugh at it. (A tiny Content Warning for attempted unaliving.) And this week, Good Good Goods is back! Coven meeting notes: Get Inspired – The Whirlpool of Despair Take Action – Harass your Congressfolk! Touch Grass – Nox...
-
Elon & The Funyun Bunch
It's giving DOGE, it's giving mass firings, it's giving "fork in the road," it's giving trauma, it's giving a first-hand account of what the hell is going on in the US federal workforce in the first four weeks of Trump 2: The Dumbest Dictator. Too angry to give the Good Good Goods this week, but…
more -
Hawk Two Three Four
Amelia asks Pitney about a couple sexual "trends" she doesn't understand to see if he has experienced either one. Namely, being choked, and spittin' on that thang. And also the other thang. Plus, Amelia busts out her Yoda voice, and we give you a round of the Good Good Goods! Coven meeting notes:...
-
Acting Like Adults
What starts as a discussion inspired by panties eventually turns tarot. And another round of Good Good Good! But first, coven meeting number three! Coven Meeting Agenda: Get Inspired - Discovering Your Power Take Action - One Heart at a Time Touch Grass - Offer Yourself an Orange Reflections and...
-
Obnoxiously Joyous
In this episode, you'll hear about silky radio voices, reboots of old anime, how Amelia's foster dog handled firework noise, bracing ourselves for the inauguration, and being obnoxiously joyous in the face of bigotry. Coven Meeting Agenda: Get Inspired - Looking Failure in the Face Take Action -...
-
Sage Against the Machine
It's time to kick off the Year of Personal Power! Find out what it means, how it will work, and how you are in charge of your experience of it. NO PRESSURE! Learn about: Following the Wheel of the Year - Yule Get Inspired - Being in "The Moment" Get Active - Preparing for Emergencies Touch Grass…
more -
Gettin Railed on Christmas
It's the end of The Year of Us and we are exhausted, what with all the dogs needing grooming and the holiday prep and whatnot. And we remember childhood Christmases, and we'll let you guess who was naughty and who was nice. And we talk about the WORST Christmas song ever. Also, we clear up some...
-
Thankful 9: Gratitude Out the Wazoo
It's Thankful number 9! And we might not really have gratitude out the wazoo, but we're trying! Pitney is thankful for vaping, Amelia is thankful for Agatha All Along, and we are starting a virtual motherfucking COVEN. And you're all in it, just by being here. You just gotta listen. Promos…
more -
Post-Election Pause
Yeah, it's still the Year Of Us, but it's also the Year Of Us Taking Care Of Ourselves. We were supposed to record a normal episode #222 the day after the election, but, as you can imagine, things didn't go the way we would have preferred. So we recorded this instead. Be sure to get yourself…
more -
Filler
An extra episode from back in April that gave Amelia a break while she got ready for Halloween! So it's all about stuff that was going on with us back then, like crying through a solar eclipse, mixing up neighbors, wearing Helen Lawson pants, sisters being stupid, and MORE! Promos: Invasion of…
more -
Stitch Witchery
Happy Halloween, y'all! We're talking about our love of making and wearing costumes, what we wore for trick or treating, being inspired to turn a costume we saw into something we could actually wear, and all the creative problem solving involved! Maybe we'll help you to realize that you can make...
-
Party Pants
It's Pitney's birthday, and we are serving birthday parties, birthday tantrums, arcades, roller rinks, the whole shebang! We ate that cake and left no crumbs! Promos: Witches Talking Tarot https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGz3eBeBSGd3A0Y0dWWdb5A 2 Skeptical Chaps...
-
Two Fingers of Vaseline
The Year of Us continues with a look back at our favorite episode. It's Vaseline Redux, darlings! Promo: Octoberpod https://www.octoberpodvhs.com/ (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves...
-
Hotel Motel Holiday Inn
We were only going to tell stories about motels we've stayed in over the years, but we got heavy on the tangents! A little Jesus foot fetish, a taste of Ashton Kutcher (Pitney wishes!!), then back to the motel for some disappointing sleep. Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps @2SCPodcast and Insinuation...
-
Eatin' Around It
Bad service. Bad food. Bad decor. But still we love these terrible restaurants! Promo: 3 Spooked Girls https://linktr.ee/3spookedgirls (Want to swap show promos? Email us!) We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And...
-
Current Events
This just in: LIFE IS HAPPENING. We've been sticking to our episode topic schedule really well this year, but suddenly there are all these THINGS going on in our lives. And they're super important, so listen up. TRAPRS Trapping, Rescue and Pet Recovery Service https://traprs.ck.page/ Support...
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
Here, queer, and in your ear, every other Friday.A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY! We may be awful, but we're right!
HOSTED BY
Pitney & Amelia
Loading similar podcasts...
Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique have?
Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique currently has 307 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique about?
Here, queer, and in your ear, every other Friday.A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES...
How often does Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique release new episodes?
Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique publishes regularly with 307 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique?
You can listen to Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique?
Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique is created and hosted by Pitney & Amelia.
URL copied to clipboard!