Pointless Global News

On today's show, fired drug sniffing dogs face an abysmal job market. Then, you can now get illegal drugs delivered by drones, in Florida of course. Next, another story about a man getting stuck in a porta-potty tank, you won't believe the worthless piece of crap he was trying to retrieve! Spoiler alert, Lilibet doesn't believe it can happen (just search the image online and see for yourself).  

On today's show, a British man wipes his ass with a sandwich in public, we'll tell you why. Then, I'll do a deep dive into why rats get the munchies when exposed to marijuana. Next, is Senator Mitch The Glitch McConnell dead or alive? I'll provide some answers.  

On today's show, while Trump is in Turkey, his poop gets flown back to the U.S. Then, I'l tell you why New York leads the nation in explosive diarrhea. Next, a young black bear wanders into a barbershop in Alaska, then leaves his calling card on the way out.  

On today's show, a man is arrested for waxing the dolphin in public at the Great American State Fair in Washington. Then, a man is arrested for craping 18 times in public pools. Next, a man drops his sunglasses in a vault toilet and decides it's a great idea to try to snag them out.  

On today's show, a live elephant urinates on the floor of the Texas Republican Convention. Then, I'll tell you about America's newest frozen treat, breast milk ice cream! Next, I'll tell you about the gross habits of some airline passengers these days.  

On today's show, the Pentagon declares that reporters are not allowed to walk down the hallways without a grownup. Then, I'll tell you what the brand name SPAM really means. Next, a Florida man is suing after being bit by a Florida Alligator. That story and a truly gross fashion trend involving rats.  

On today's show, Vladimir Putin's quest for immortality involves cryogenics and mini pigs. Then, a creepy abandoned puppet gets a job as a cop. Next, I'll tell you about an albino buffalo named Donald Trump.  

On today's show, a McDonald's manager licks the fries of an unsuspecting ex-girlfriend. Then, I'll tell you about the man who broke the record for breaking cocktail sticks. Next, a pony gets rescued from inside a tractor tire.  

On today's show, you won't believe what TSA agents are now allowing in carry-on luggage. Then in a related story, you won't believe what some folks are smuggling in their pants. Next, a MAGA man is caught shooting video in a public men's room, his explanation is as stupid as it is hilarious (not to mention illegal).  

On today's show, it's a poo D'detat at the Pooseum. Then, an irregular heartbeat might be corrected by rectal stimulation. Next, an all-you-can-eat restaurant in Spain now charges a vomit fee if you overstuff your gullet.  

On today's show, a Scotsman is caught dry humping a garbage bin. Then, I'll tell you the benefits of nude gardening. Next, we'll visit a major league ballpark with a rodent infestation. UFEBmF18LQ6oyJn9TsSY    

On today's show, Pope Leo spent his childhood observing clowns and now it's paying dividends. Then, I'll tell you about the woman who fell through the floor of a porta potty in Australia. Next, we'll go to a town where the police want you to get drunk and they'll supply the snacks and drinks.  

On today's show, a Chinese automaker has patented an in the car toilet, making carpooling much more challenging. Then, I'll tell you about a 40 pound beaver stealing wood from a store in Canada. Next, some of the weirdest incidents involving farts, because I have the comic sense of a 12 year old boy.  

On today's show, a life-like remote-rotating dildo is being recalled for safety concerns. Then, RFK Jr. is at it again, only this time it involves a dead raccoon. Next, I'll tell you about a water filled vacuum cleaner, running for mayor in the U.K.  

On today's show, the cancer prevention group F-cancer, wants men to beat off cancer….literally. Then, Truffles-a 3 foot tall teddy bear is rescued by Chicago police after being stolen. Next, are you a man with an itchy ass? I'll tell you what might be causing it.  

On today's show, the Food And Drug Administration recalls Boner Bear Honey. Then, a Florida Airbnb guest is accused of urinating on all of the furniture. Next, police charge a quadruple amputee professional cornhole player with shooting a man while driving his Tesla.  

On today's show, a proud British gent sets a new record for pulling a 2 ton car with his balls. Then, the story of a man raised by wolves as a boy, adjusting to life without wolves. Next, Chat GPT wants you to shove garlic up your ass!  

On today's show, there's a new side effect of drinking that might turn you sober, it's called "booze butt". Then, I'll tell you about the basketball coach who moonlighted as a pimp. Next, a New Jersey Girl Scout troop sets up shop selling cookies outside a cannabis dispensary.  

On today's show, the torturous "Cheek Splitter 9000" airline seat has many travelers worried about the future of aviation. Then, a determined beaver jaywalks and resists arrest. Next, in our continuing coverage of beaver news, it's Bu-cee's versus Mickey's in a trademark infringement case.  

On today's show, a Canadian man celebrates their hockey loss by taking a chainsaw to his TV. Then, the condom supply at the winter olympics lasted only 3 days. Next, a naked man steals an ambulance with a patient inside. Spoiler alert, it did not happen in Florida.  

On today's show, a Florida Man gets his freak on with a vacuum cleaner. Then, a rumble breaks out on a Florida pickleball court. Next, the government's new realfood.gov website has a chatbot that will cheerfully advise you what foods you can shove up your ass.

On today's show, in case you missed it, February 5 was National Fart Day and I'll tell you the backstory on the history of farting. Then, Canada's super pigs are poised to invade the U.S. Next, I'll do a deep dive into the penis injection scandal unfolding at the Winter Olympics!  

On today's show, a male manatee dies after having sex with his brother. Then, hundreds of pet rats in New York are now homeless and looking for their forever home. Next, the head of a Florida toilet cartel is caught and he's now flushed with guilt.  

On today's show, we'll start with 3 really pointlessly stupid warning labels. Then, a local inventor breaks the speed record for driving in a garbage can. Next, a doctor shares what really goes on when you're knocked out during a colonoscopy and yes, it's nasty like poop poo. Also, an apology for not doing a podcast last week......because we now live in a pointlessly  unfunny world. In other words, I had nothing last week. 

On today's show, the U.S. Department of War battles a Toronto sex shop. Then, a robot sues for damage after getting beaten up on TV. Next, it's our first Florida Man story of the new year and of course, it's hilarious.  

On today's show, having issues with your beaver? A Swiss hotline would like to know. Then, some mummified meat is screened by TSA agents at O'hare airport. Next, some buff bears break into a Colorado gym, to enjoy a protein shake and some power lifting.  

On today's festive holiday edition, a Trump wax statue gets removed after visitors punch it. Then, in the future, you may have a raccoon for a pet. Next, there's a new body wash made just to clean your anus.  

On today's show, smelling farts may prevent Alzheimer's. Then, an amateur verminator has a plan to keep rats from spoiling a movie. Next, if you can write poetry, AI can help you build a nuclear bomb.  

On today's show Ol' Golden Balls is back, just in time for Christmas! Then, a New York subway station will temporarily smell better, just in time for Christmas! Next, meet Kumma, the freaky talking A.I. teddy bear.  

On today's show, a man serves his friends feet meat tacos. Then, a man needs to quit his food challenge after only 6 minutes. Next, we'll meet the man who did a different kind of challenge, stuffing matches into his nose.  

On today's show, a man gets the ride of his life in a porta-potty. Then, I'll tell you how to stay out of the E.R. on Thanksgiving. Next, I'll tell you about a flight from hell and it had nothing to do with the current slowdown at airports in the U.S.  

On today's show, a solid gold toilet is headed for an auction, your chance to put your money where your mouth should never go. Then, there's a new mayor in a Canadian town and it's a cat. Next, I'll tell you about some very expensive coffee that comes from the butt of a weasel.  

On today's show, it's official, science confirms it's ok to breathe through your butt. Then, get ready to have nano-bots crawling up your nose to relieve sinus issues. Next, I'll tell you about Norbert the skateboarding pig and the record he broke! (and of course, Lilibet frowns upon this.)  

On today's show, an old man mistakes a dog poop box for a mailbox. Then, navigating Venice with Google Maps can be a soggy experience. Next, I'll tell you a story about a crime fighting pig.  

On today's show, a Florida man goes door-to-door picking fights. Next, you may never want to use a gas station microwave oven again. Finally, a new and creative place to carry your thermos that will shock you!  

On today's show, a Jersey City man finds a clever way to avoid paying tolls. Next, a firefighter gets even with her ex-boyfriend. Then, another Florida Man story to entertain us and a story about a new side hustle that involves nail clippings!  

On today's show, it turns out that foul odor in a high school came from a teacher. Next, a man saves an injured squirrel and now they are inseparable. Then,  we'll meet the ER doc with tales from the dark side.  

On today's show, pay toilets in China make you watch an ad first, before you can wipe. Next, a greedy burmese python, barfs up an entire deer in Florida. Then we'll wrap things up with a grave digging contest and a sleepy air traffic controller.  

On today's show, a doctor leaves his patient on the operating table for a booty call. Next, a man and his emotional support alligator are not welcome at Walmart. Then, we'll cover the annual ham throwing contest in the east of Spain!  

On today's show, we'll give you the 411 on Jet Belly and how to do it when nature calls. Then, meet the man who was so horny to amputate his own legs. Next, meet the U.S. Senator who believes radioactive shrimp will turn you into an alien.  

On today's show, a man is beaten up by a grocery store staff for trying to steal a car and then sues the grocery store. Next, an Idaho man breaks the record for wet sponge hits to the face. Then we'll wrap things up with corn chips that taste like 9 volt batteries and an orca that needs hands-on attention.  

On today's show, a meth fueled flight attendant gives new meaning to the mile high club. Next, Ozempic for pets, new hope for pudgy pooches and tubby tabbies! Then we'll wrap things up with an update on the serial butt sniffer we reported on last month. Spoiler alert, he was released a month ago by some idiot judge, so of course, he struck again.

On today's show, a 45 year old Texas man wants a diaper change. Then, a hospital in Thailand is using patient records as food wrappers. Next we wrap things up with a new toothpaste made from some truly gross ingredients.  

On today's show, 7 Hilarious, yet horrifying masturbation mishaps. Then, next time you get stressed out, have a binky. Finally, a naked man with a dildo on a stick is terrifying European tourists.   

On today's show, we have some freeway foreplay in West Virginia, with the expected results. Then, is cougar puberty better or worse than teenage puberty? Next, a zoo in Denmark is requesting your small pet as food for their predators. Then we'll wrap things up with some Google Street View shenanigans in Argentina and Smokey The Bear helps the cops in Florida!  

On today's show, Chuck E. Cheese is arrested for credit card fraud. Then, a kinky kitty wants your underwear, not your affection. Finally, a serial butt sniffer in Burbank is arrested….again!  

On today's show, a seedy swingers festival invades a sleepy British town. Then, a woman who was dead for 2 minutes reveals what she saw while dead. Finally, do sloths fart? I'll reveal the smelly facts.  

On today's show, it's a fashion trend, chimps in Zambia are sticking grass and sticks in their butts. Then, a giant beaver is named the official state fossil of Minnesota. Finally, balls out bowling in the nude comes to Pittsburgh!  

On today's show, Doctors in the U.K. beg people to stop bringing in unsolicited urine samples. Next, a Peruvian man claims an 800 year old mummy is his spiritual girlfriend, Finally, a man who enjoys prowling the beach at night as a cat.  

On today's show, the Mile High Club isn't just for passengers, the flight crews participate too. Then, we'll meet the Rat Whisperer of New York City. Finally, playing on the phone while on the toilet is both extremely popular and extremely unhealthy.