PODCAST · society
Polycurious
by Fernanda
Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but you might be curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I became surprised by this unexplored topic. In Polycurious I have casual and intimate conversations with non-monogamous couples, sex and relationship experts, friends, and even people who tried polyamory and realized it wasn’t for them. This podcast is for the polycurious, whether you have explored non-monogamy or not.
Episodes
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85. The Invite: Does The Movie Get Non-Monogamy Right?
Today I share my thoughts about The Invite, a movie about a married couple who invite their neighbors over for dinner. Things are awkward from the start, but they get even more awkward, funny, and real when an unexpected invitation to explore non-monogamy comes up. The Invite is directed by…
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84. Could I Live Without Non-Monogamy?
Sarah Stroh talks about her book, Monogamaybe, her process coming to terms with her non-monogamous identity and finding a partner who supported her in that journey. We discuss how to manage and process jealousy and what agreements look like in non-monogamy when you want to be your best poly self...
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83. Opening Up After Infidelity, Breakups and Living with Your Metamours with Natalie Davis (author of Saying Yes)
Natalie Davis, author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, shares her journey into polyamory, from opening up her marriage in her 40s after her husband’s infidelity to navigating living with her metamours. Natalie also opens up about the end of a decade long relationship after…
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82. Lessons From Building a Triad with The Kink Collective
Cat, Natalie, and Joshua from The Kink Collective talk about their experience building a triad. We talk about honesty and transparency in non monogamy, especially when telling the full truth feels scary because you’re worried about your partner’s reaction, and what happens when you struggle to...
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81. When Your Partner Doesn't Want Non-monogamy with Courtney and Nate (the Mono-Poly couple)
When Courtney proposed opening their marriage on their 17th anniversary, their relationship was struggling. Nate was a devoted father and provider, but he had become emotionally distant. Courtney’s proposal was initially met with anger, judgment, and fears that she was trying to replace him....
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Open to Open Panel Recording
In this special episode, I'm sharing a live recording from Open to Open, a panel discussion I joined in Denver hosted by coaches Bella Schauer and Booster Blake. We share our personal experiences and answer questions about New Relationship Energy, honesty, repair after conflict, and boundaries,...
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80. How To Process Jealousy and Difficult Emotions
In this solo episode, I'm sharing the emotional processing tool that's completely changed the way I handle difficult emotions. It's called RAIN, and while I didn't create it (it was popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach), I've adapted it over the years for myself and my coaching clients....
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Opening Up Without The Mess (Meet-up)
What We Cover How to know if your relationship is ready What to expect: jealousy, guilt & imbalance Common mistakes to avoid Why you should move at the pace of the slowest partner How to handle jealousy Jealousy is normal and workable Communication is everything: don't bring up issues in the…
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Bonus ep.79 Exploring Bisexuality as a Man
In this episode, Sam opens up about discovering his attraction to men later in life, what it was like having his first boyfriend, exploring sexual compatibility for the first time, and working through internalized shame around bisexuality. Listen to Sam's episode:...
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79. The Problem with NRE (New Relationship Energy) with Sam Charles
Sex and relationship coach Sam Charles joins me to explore the shadow side of New Relationship Energy: the nervous system rollercoaster. We also talk about the reasons he is no longer over-compromising in romantic relationships, and he shares great tips for navigating the challenges that can…
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78. Domming at a Sober Kink Party & My Daddy Issues
Today I share my experience unexpectedly domming someone for the very first time at a sober kink party, and how stepping into my dominant side helped me rethink my relationship with non-monogamy, begin to untangle some of my daddy issues and feel incredibly empowered. Resources mentioned Carnival...
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77. Kink, Power Dynamics & Knowing When to Walk Away with Vee from Girls Gone Deep
Today, Vee from Girls Gone Deep shares her journey into kink, what makes a great dom, and what people can actually gain from exploring BDSM dynamics. We also dive into what it feels like to want a level of commitment your partner can’t offer, and how to know when it’s time to walk away Resources...
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76. I Said Yes to ENM But My Body Panics with Bella & Patrick
What if your head is on board with non-monogamy, but your body freaks out when your partner dates someone else? Today, Bella and Patrick, who started their relationship long-distance and non-monogamous, share how they learned to navigate multiple partners, set clear agreements, and regulate their...
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75. Can You Learn Compersion? ft. Evolving Love Project
Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project return to share more about their journey opening up their relationship. They unpack why fairness doesn’t always mean doing the same things, reflecting on Abbey dating solo for two years before Liam did. They also explore whether compersion—the feeling...
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74. Do This Before Opening Up with Nancy & Jonny
Nancy and Jonny spent months focusing on education, workshops, community, and strengthening their communication before taking their first steps into non-monogamy. In this episode, they share what that intentional process looked like, the challenges they encountered, and how moving slowly helped...
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73. I Wanted Sex with One Partner But Not The Other with Libby Sinback
What happens when you stop wanting sex with your long-term partner(s)… but not with someone new? In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and host of Making Polyamory Work, Libby Sinback. Libby shares openly about a four-year period in her marriage when she and her husband didn’t have…
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72. I Questioned Monogamy and Heteronormativity and Couldn’t Go Back
In this episode, JJ shares how he went from being in a monogamous relationship to fully embracing his queer and non-monogamous identity. He opens up about working through shame and what it’s been like navigating queerness and non-monogamy as a man in a heteronormative culture. Resources…
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71. Can BDSM Be Therapeutic? with Nicolle Hodges
In this episode, Nicolle Hodges shares how she discovered the world of kink, became a lifestyle dominatrix, and realized BDSM can be profoundly therapeutic (the subject of her upcoming book!). She also reflects on her experience in a polyamorous relationship, including navigating a throuple, and...
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70. Jealousy is Information with Kayla + Carl (Part 2)
In part two of my conversation with Kayla and Carl, we explore how jealousy can be a powerful source of information, helping us understand what we want more of and how we can grow. We also talk about a major milestone in their non monogamy journey: Carl’s first experience stepping outside his...
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69. Non-monogamy Saved Our Marriage with Kayla + Carl (Part 1)
Kayla and Carl, a married couple with young kids, share how non monogamy helped them move out of a decline in sexual connection and communication. While Carl was initially not interested in exploring outside the relationship himself, his support of Kayla’s exploration became a major turning…
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68. Having Three DADT Partners with Alex & Skyler
In this episode, we explore what it looks like to navigate three Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell relationships in which all partners want escalation, while Skyler is not ready to step onto the relationship escalator with any of them. This tension is especially present for Alex, who is in her mid-thirties…
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67. What Two Terrible Breakups Taught Me with Jesse
Today, Jesse opens up about two challenging breakups that unfolded in the context of non-monogamy, how those endings impacted his reputation within his community, and how they shaped the way he saw himself. He also shares how later, healthier relationships helped him rewrite those old narratives....
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66. All Roads Lead To Poly with Fer (Your Host)
In this episode, I finally sit on the other side of the mic. I’m interviewed by my friend A (who you might remember from the episode with her husband J). We talk about my upbringing, what I learned about my sexuality (including discovering masturbation much later in life), my journey with Seth as...
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65. Making Peace with Your Insecurities with A & J (Part 2)
In the second part of my conversation with A and J, we talk about how J learned to face and work through his insecurities instead of letting them dictate how A connects with others. We also explore how differently they’ve each approached non-monogamy, with A actively dating while J has taken…
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64. Should You Have Rules When Opening Up? with A & J (Part 1)
A and J opened up their relationship after nearly three decades together, when menopause sparked a surge in A’s libido. In this episode, we talk about their process of untangling enmeshment, how they moved from a rule-heavy dynamic — with J, who was initially hesitant about non-monogamy, setting...
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63. Handling Big Emotions in Polyamory, Triads and Breakups with Evita Sawyers
Today, Evita Sawyers ((@Lavitaloca34) shares how she went from letting jealousy and anger take over to becoming more grounded and less reactive. We talk about her experience being in a triad and how opening her marriage revealed gaps in her relationship with her husband, ultimately leading to…
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62. When Your Partner Chooses A Nesting Partner with Roshi & Frankie
Roshi and Frankie have been navigating a long-distance polyamorous relationship for over three years, where they both have other partners. Today, we talk about: How to balance multiple relationships without losing a shared vision Their experience building a long distance partnership Finding...
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61. Meet My Secondary Partner Part 2 with John
In my conversation with John, my secondary partner, we get into how our relationship grew from friends-with-benefits into partnership. We revisit an early incident that brought up his fear of disappointing partners and my own struggles with trust and safety, and how that shaped our early days. I...
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60. Two Families, One Polycule with Catherine and Brian
Catherine and Brian went on Feeld looking for a threesome but things took a turn when Catherine fell for a woman who’s also married with a daughter. Now the two couples (and their kids) have formed a loving polycule built on honesty and care. In today’s episode, we talk about how Brian stays...
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59. Masculinity & Non-Monogamy: A Man’s Memoir with Adam of Seek the Risk
Adam is the author of Seek the Risk, the only memoir I know of by a man about non-monogamy. In this episode, he shares how being with a female partner who was more sexually active than he was challenged his sense of masculinity. He talks about how he overcame those feelings using techniques from...
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58. All About MFM Threesomes with Didi & Alex
In the second part of my conversation with Alex and Didi, we’re diving deep into MFM (male-female-male) threesomes, something they’ve explored together, and that Alex has a lot of experience with solo. He shares how he went from feeling uncomfortable with seeing his partner receive pleasure from...
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57. Navigating Couple-to-Couple Play with Didi & Alex
Today, Didi and Alex talk about what it’s like to be in a relationship where one partner is just beginning to explore non-monogamy while the other has years of experience. We also get into the complexities of couple-to-couple play, including the communication challenges, mismatched expectations,...
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56. Can a Kinky Relationship Be Asexual? Annie Undone Says Yes
Today, Annie Undone opens up about her long-distance Dominant/submissive relationship (where she was the dom) with an asexual partner and what it taught her about intimacy. She also shares her journey from monogamy to polyamory and back again, her experience leaving an abusive marriage and dating...
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55. Aryn & Josh From Couples Therapy
Today Aryn and Josh from Couples Therapy discuss their decade-long journey navigating polyamory, including their experience in a triad, Josh’s process of overcoming discomfort with Aryn dating other men, and how they use conflict as an opportunity to model how they want to be treated by each…
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54. When Their Actions Don't Match Their Words with Daniella Guimaraes (Velvet Ties)
Daniella Guimaraes is a non-monogamous matchmaker and founder of Velvet Ties social club. Today she shares her CNM journey, why she prefers starting relationships fully open, and lessons from a past partner whose actions contradicted his words. She also tells us how Velvet Ties is bringing the...
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53. How to Fortify Your Relationship with Lamees and Nick
Lamees and Nick are a monogamous couple who previously tried non-monogamy and decided it wasn't right for them. Today, they discuss their journey and introduce their "relationship fortification" framework for having honest conversations about relationships. Visit the relationship fortification...
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52. How to Find Safety with Luna & Leo
Today, I’m sitting down with my dear friends Luna and Leo for what might be the longest and most insightful conversation I’ve ever recorded. Luna shares her journey of leaving a toxic non-monogamous relationship and finding something healthier and more fulfilling with Leo. We dive into their...
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51. Hotwife, Mono-Poly or Something Else?
Ellie and Cole went from both being non-monogamous to just Ellie playing with others. But that doesn’t mean Cole doesn’t benefit! Ellie shares videos and pictures of her encounters and brings the sexual energy into their relationship when she gets home. We dive into how this (some might say...
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50. Mono-Poly and Non-hierarchical
In this final episode of the Mono-poly mini-series, my assumptions about these relationships get seriously challenged! Shy is solo poly, non-hierarchical, and a relationship anarchist, while Gabrielle, who’s monogamous, has a surprisingly open (some might even say poly) mindset. We dive into what...
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49. When You're Non-Monogamous and Your Partner Isn't
In this episode, I sit down with Cassie and Schuyler, a couple navigating a mono-poly dynamic—Cassie is open to dating others, while Schuyler has remained monogamous (so far!). We dive into their journey of embracing this relationship style, from Cassie overcoming feelings of guilt to how their...
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48. Don't Ask Don't Tell But Different with Fer & Seth
In this episode Seth and I talk about why he’s never lost his confidence as a monogamous man in a non-monogamous relationship. We unpack how we approach "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (spoiler: it’s not what you think!) and share what we’ve learned about making a mono-open dynamic work. Resources...
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47. How to Deal with NRE (New Relationship Energy)
Today I'm giving you a little sample of a Patreon episode. Feeling NRE (New Relationship Energy) in non-monogamy for the first time? If you're connecting with someone outside your primary relationship, you might freak out a bit (I sure did!). Here’s what I wish I knew: Thinking about your new…
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Announcement!
https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious
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46. More Than A Mother with Molly Roden Winter
In the last episode of the Poly Parents mini-series I spoke to Molly Roden Winter, author of the New York Times Bestseller More: A Memoir of Open Marriage. We spoke about her experience overcoming shame as a non-monogamous mother and how opening up her marriage helped her grow and learn about...
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45. Poly and Pregnant with Sarah Stroh from Monogamish
Today, I talk to writer and coach Sarah Stroh (Monogamish_me on Instagram), a week before giving birth. We speak of how becoming pregnant changed the dating game for her and put her identity as a flirty and adventurous person into question. She also tells us about what led her to decide to...
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44. Opening Up After Two Decades Together
In the second part of my conversation with this couple, we discuss their transition from being open to polyamory, partially due to their three kids leaving for college. They each share their unique methods of dealing with jealousy and other challenging emotions, as well as how they've adapted to...
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43. Opening Up After Two Decades Together
This couple decided to open up their marriage after two decades together. Today, they share some of the challenges they faced during that transition, such as learning how much to share about their outside relationships with one another. They also tell us how they used Craiglist (believe it or…
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42. Can Non-Monogamy Make You a Better Parent? with Evolving Love Project
Abbey and Liam are the voices behind Evolving Love Project, a platform that explores non-monogamy and conscious relationships through Abbey’s writing, their podcast, and conversation evenings and retreats in Australia. In our conversation they tell us how being non-monogamous has helped them...
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41. Getting Comfortable with MMF Threesomes with Chamberlin & Michael
Chamberlin and Michael struggled a lot in their relationship, having periods of opening and closing, cheating and hurting each other and ultimately breaking up. About a month after they broke up, Chamberlin found out that she was pregnant. And for reasons we discuss in the podcast, this pregnancy...
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40. Metamours Who Are Friends with Aviva, Lorena & JD
Today I chat with metamours JD and Lorena, as well as their common partner Aviva (a metamour is a partner’s partner.) Even though Aviva and Lorena were dating first, JD has become Aviva’s nesting partner. And today we chat about how even though that transition was a little difficult, Lorena was...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but you might be curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I became surprised by this unexplored topic. In Polycurious I have casual and intimate conversations with non-monogamous couples, sex and relationship experts, friends, and even people who tried polyamory and realized it wasn’t for them. This podcast is for the polycurious, whether you have explored non-monogamy or not.
HOSTED BY
Fernanda
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Polycurious have?
Polycurious currently has 88 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Polycurious about?
Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but you might be curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I became surprised by this unexplored topic. In Polycurious I have casual and intimate conversations...
How often does Polycurious release new episodes?
Polycurious has 88 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Polycurious?
You can listen to Polycurious on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Polycurious?
Polycurious is created and hosted by Fernanda.
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