PODCAST · leisure
Primary Attribute Incorporated
by Primary Attribute Cast
Primary Attribute is a Castles & Crusades actual play podcast where our cast unravels the mysteries of Arx Moltimus, a mountain fortress that contains the last surviving city, as it flies through the sky above a world consumed by a supernatural corruption and attempts to hold out for just a little longer. Battles are fought, romances blossom, secrets are uncovered, and city infrastructure is maintained against all odds.
Episodes
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No New Episode on 10/14/2026
Hey everyone! There's no new episode on 10/14/2026, due to the tight timing of the recording session and Ian's lack of a personal time machine. (They're working on it.) We'll be back on 10/21, but in the meantime if you're hankering for something to listen to, here's some choice productions from...
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248 – A Bird Dies as Itself
The shield is finally descending! In mere moments, the Arx will be protected from the Corrupted army outside their city. Unfortunately, they've still got enemies inside and allies outside. Can they make the switch in time? Wealdroa puts up walls between themselves and others. Steamboat Willie…
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247 – Hull Breach Imminent
The party desperately fights to prevent the door being breached, keep their people from being taken, and take down fuck-off-giant knights. And there's *still* a damn dragon to deal with, even if its mouth is glued shut. Fun times! Wealdroa rolls the dice. Steamboat gasses his allies. Cool Ranch...
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246 – It Fooshes
A cavalry charge plunges through the Arx defenders, and the party tries to stop it any way they can. They're going to take all the king's horses and all the king's men, and make sure they can never, ever be put back together again. Hopefully. Steamboat Willie starts a merger. Nacho Cheese Vons...
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245 – A Very Sudden Deceleration Over a Short Period of Time
The Arx tries the fast way down. After all, what's a little terminal velocity between a flying mountain and a hard place? Plus, it probably still counts as a landing if you're in contact with the surface at the finish, even if you're in several thousand far-flung pieces. Really, if you think…
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244 – Everything Goes Sideways
Okay, phew. That's the first wave (almost) down, and (mostly) everyone's still alive. What else could they have to throw at the Arx? Oh. Oh my. Grickx gets notified. Wealthy leaves no footprints in the sand. Cool Ranch Vons has a nice chat. Jyessi reunites with an old friend. Nacho Cheese Vons…
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243 – The Greatest Album Cover In History
The defense of the Arx continues as it descends slowly towards the ground. It's even doing so in a controlled fashion! So that's nice. Less nice are the corrupted infantry, tigers, and minotaurs, oh my! Grickx is ready to fly the Bug Stomper. Nacho Cheese Vons brings the frag to his grenade.…
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242 – Beginning Approach
Let's land this thing! It's a giant mountain, how hard can it be? The party forms ranks with the rest of the defenders of the Arx and stands ready to take on whatever the Corruption will throw at them. Perhaps literally. Steamboat Willie works an angle. Jyessi gives Annie Oakley a run for her...
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241 – Allocating the Resources
It's time for the party to dramatically lean over a map, point at things, and make strategic choices about where to assign their tactical resources. Because what are the friends you made along the way, if not ablative armor and/or cannon fodder? I mean, uh, loyal battlefield allies! Yes. That....
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SA030 – Leveling to 12!
It's time for one last level up before landing this thing! Everyone grows immeasurably in power, by which I mean incrementally and in a way defined by exact numbers. Basically the same thing. Also, potions are distributed the PCs, as well as the general populace. Because SOCIALISM. Grickx breaks...
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240 – Ziplock Baggie of Doom
The party crams in some last minute studying before the exam. And by studying, I mean pharmacological research, and by exam, I mean "holding the line against a Corrupted horde." So it's still basically the same as when you learned the entire textbook the day before your class final in college....
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239 – Don’t Frack, It’s Whack
The second set of drills is here, and the party practices their own parts in this master plan. How well will they do when they're the grunts, not the commanders? Like, that sounds like it could be hard?? Steamboat streaks. Vons tries not to suffocate people. Wealdroa gives Joe a hard time. Jyessi...
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238 – Such A Specific Phrasing
Drill time! It's drill time! The party drills the Arx citizenry on what to do in case of a landing during a Corruption onslaught. Will they manage to whip these folks into a focused fighting force? Or is everyone going to be goofing off while the teacher desperately tries to get their attention?...
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237 – An Ontologically Evil Moose
Steamboat Willie's fighting a moose! A corrupted moose! With no backup??? Everyone else scrambles to figure out a way back to help, but in the meantime we get to see how well sheer courage and audacity stack up against over 1000 lbs of raw, furious strength made flesh. Cool Vons goes around the...
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236 – I Always Remember the Word Arx-Hole
The grand experiment has gone awry, and now the Corruption attacks our brave scientists. With birds, the deadliest weapon (and confounding factor) known to Arxkind! How are they going to manage to start a small fire under these conditions??? Steamboat uses the boost! OG Vons weighs the pros and...
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235 – Sleepytime Tea Needs No Sweetener
It's time for a grand experiment! Can a dream fox start a fire so bright that their friends in reality can see it? Bonus question: How well can player characters handle being invisible? Wealdroa forgets something important. Vons moves to intercept. Grickx wiggles his fingers all creepy-like....
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234 – Tell Us About Your Liquids!
Vons finally revealed his terrifying dreams to the rest of the party. Now it's time to dig in and figure out how these things work and if we can use them for something cool! And let's throw in an emotional betrayal for fun. Vons runs out of string. Grickx realizes someone missed a backstory...
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233 – Gorgeous Picturesque Outdoor Views of Bullshit
Did you know that sometimes people sleep? And they risk dreaming?? Every time they do it??? Today, we follow Vons in a cautionary tale about what happens when you take that risk. Vons hates on Elvish make. Jyessi doesn't take "don't worry about it" for an answer. Check us out online! We're at...
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232 – Always Have a Backup
It's always good to have a backup plan, so the party works on building themselves (and the citizenry) another escape route. As a bonus, they to get to visit with a few old friends! Steamboat shakes down. Vons is proud of what he's accomplished. Grickx puts together a mandatory training. Wealdroa...
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SA029 – Other Awesome RPGs! (Part 2)
We're back for Part 2 of our dive into other RPGs we dig. This week we cover Night Witches; loose, improv-heavy games; and take a dive into accessibility in RPGs. Whit receives recognition as an author. Adam enforces. Erin shares one of their great unsolved mysteries. Ian checks the sadness…
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SA028 – Other Awesome RPGs! (Part 1)
This week, we try something a little different and talk about some other RPGs we enjoy! I know, we're *so* brave to admit it's okay to like more than one game. In our first of two episodes, we cover In Nomine and the Dresden Files RPG. Let us know if you enjoy these sorts of episodes! We'd be…
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231 – Robert Rulesmasher Can Get It
The rest of the party tries to help Wealdroa make a good decision when buying a mech body. Tries. Sort of. Cool Vons loves spoilers. Grickx checks reimbursement rules. Jyessi discusses a different kind of construct. Wealdroa likes 'em thicc. Check us out online! We're at...
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230 – Getting On Like an Explosive On Fire
Vons has to hurry, or he'll be late! He speeds along faster than a rabbit with a pocket watch, but it wouldn't be Vons if there wasn't at least one tangent along the way. Oh, and some other party members show up or something. Vons gets his paws all over someone else's equipment. Jyessi knows a...
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229 – Get in the F-ing Mech, Wealthy
The party continues to prepare for the upcoming landing. Whether that be by honing their weapons, considering what sort of body they want to ride into battle, or keeping themselves emotionally healthy by spending time with loved ones. I know, the last one feels off-brand to me, too. Steamboat...
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228 – Kobold Nipple Lore
It's time to do some campaigning! Grickx and Jyessi go out to knock on doors and talk to voters directly about the important issues of the day, like not letting everyone die from the Arx crashing, their feelings, and where they stand on all their past mistakes. Grickx busts out the suspenders....
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227 – Unpronounceable
The party finishes their night of partying, campaigning, and learning about personal existential threats. Then, for a nightcap, they conduct a home invasion. Grickx sells the surface. Jyessi is inherently trustworthy. Wealdroa remembers she forgot something. Cool Vons gets nachos. Check us out...
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226 – Rock the Vote in the Clerb
The party members each take some "me time" to go party. At the same place? Whoops. The only way this can get more dire is if two of them wore the same outfit! Cool Vons gets into the local art scene. Grickx shows the dance floor how it's done. Jyessi runs the merch table. Wealdroa gets some...
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225 – Arxeology
Preparations for the landing process begin. Everyone does their best to support the effort, ensure the safety of their loved ones, and make a killing on the glue market. Grickx gins up support. Wealdroa goes to a fancy store. Jyessi shortens their commute. Vons hears the ocean. Check us out…
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SA027 – Triassic Playland (Pt 3): Real Torn Up About It
We reach the thrilling conclusion of Triassic Playland! The party's really throwing their own spin on the story, and they decide to try a novel approach to solving their problems: shotguns. Vons reconsiders pet ownership. Grickx wears many hats. Jyessi shows the difference between a park ranger…
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SA026 – Triassic Playland (Pt 2): Leave Plan for the Time to Work
The party heads out into Triassic Playland for a sedate tour in state of the art EVs. All everyone needs for the day to go well is for the electricity to stay on and, preferably, for the weather to stay nice! Wait, what are those ominous clouds doing on the horizon? Grickx throws off the chains…
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SA025 – Triassic Playland (Pt 1): Insurance Purposes
We had a player down so it's time for an acting. Welcome to...Triassic Playland! As you can tell by the title, it's even *more* majestic than the original. Strap in as everyone gets to pet the dinosaurs and have a nice time. Definitely that. Wealthy glistens sexily. Grickx threatens a child....
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SA024 – Leveling to 11!
Everyone levels up to 11! Spells are chosen, hit dice are rolled, and a lot of wandering conversation is had along the way. Heads up that this level up session is extremely meandering! If you'd rather just get a short summary of people's level up choices, we'll be sure to quickly go over…
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224 – No Bad Ideas in a Brainstorm
The party convenes the leadership of the Arx Council to report their findings. It's time to make a tough decision: where's the best place to park. Jyessi makes a friend out of a coworker. Wealdroa desires a deep dive. Steamboat Willie readies to rebuild. Cool Ranch Vons is overcome with…
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223 – The Return of Skeleton Puppetry
The party's quieted down the city's core for now, and they even all lived to tell the tale. Unfortunately, being alive means they now have to do things like "make decisions" and "plan." Eugh. Maybe getting microwaved by magic would have been better. Cool Vons plays "what's that smell?" Steamboat...
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222 – Gravity is Subjective
The party is going to get this core locked down or die trying. Let's see which one they go with. Cool Vons has that mid-air energy. Jyessi ponders reaction intensity. Wealdroa warms up. Grickx drives the magic bus. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com P.S. The diagram...
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221 – The Zoomies Most Foul
The core proves resistant to the party's attempts to fix it, but they won't let a little magical bolt of energy here and there get them down! Unless it kills them. I guess they'd be pretty down if that happened. Best not to get hit, then. Easy! Jyessi slices and dices. Cool Vons does a flip.…
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220 – Too Hard for The Great Squirrello?
Into the core! It's finally time to see the heart of the Arx, and what can be done to maintain it. It probably just needs a little spackle and some fresh paint, right? Maybe a dusting? Grickx faces his greatest maintenance challenge yet. Wealdroa and gravity duel once again. Cool Vons bodyguards....
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219 – Current Status
After finding out that The Great Wizard Dave has come down with a rather nasty case of skeleton-itis, the party gets ready to wreck his graduation orb. And possibly steal his bones. No respect, these people. Wealdroa tries to resist peer pressure. Cool Vons infodumps. Grickx makes sure there's no...
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218 – The Inevitable Kind of Surprise
The secondary facility is back online and it's time to find the Great Wizard Dave. And more importantly, meet back up with Grickx and Steamboat! Grickx is back, baby! Vons finds a shiny. Jyessi knows how to talk to teens. Cool Vons wants to know what's hot and what's not. Steamboat Willie knows…
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SA023 – Solstice 2025!: A Bubble of Candied Whimsy
It's time for our 2025 Solstice Special! The party has a sweet cozy time on the Solstice where absolutely nothing goes wrong. Just kidding. The CK would never let that happen! Vons feels a little stiff. Jyessi gets an unenviable designation. Wealthy faces an old foe. Check us out online! We're at...
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217 – Oh No The Conses of My Quences
Each party member sees their reflection in the eyes of the Nonocculus. There's a brief moment of eye contact, where it seems the two sides of this fight might finally understand each other and find peace. It shoots deadly magic at them, instead. Cool Vons sets fire on fire. Wealdroa feels sick....
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216 – Die Hard on an Arx
The party tries to regroup, which is going to be tricky given three of the four of them are holed up behind barricades. Good communication is the only thing that can save them. …They're doomed. Original Recipe Vons makes some noise. Wealdroa pokes something with a stick. Jyessi needs to work on…
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215 – There’s A Children’s Song Coming Closer
The dreaded creature gives chase! To one squad. The others, meanwhile, bravely take advantage of the distraction and keep exploring to figure this place out. Clearly equally perilous situations. Weldroa goes down the hatch. Cool Vons has a very close encounter. Jyessi doesn't sugar coat the…
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214 – Depth-First Search
The split party moves swift and silent as they search the facility for clues on how to get it back up and running, all while being stalked by sinister creatures. Or, at least, they try to. OG Vons tries to build a sense of safety. Jyessi hears a chorus cry out. Weldroa frets about friends. Cool...
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213 – Evil Glow In The Dark Stars
The party enters a place full of the signs of struggle, magic gone wrong, and death. Then a strange song drifts up from the depths… Original Recipe Vons searches for a smackerel. Wealthy has a theory. Cool Vons finds a reference volume. Jyessi asks for directions. Check us out online! We're at...
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212 – The Forgotten Facility
The party arrives at the secondary facility and attempts to get inside. Easier said than done. I'm sure there's no good reason for these barriers. Or the written warnings. It's fine. Wealdroa has a bone to pick with everyone. Cool Vons gets methodical. Jyessi does forensics. Original Recipe Vons...
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SA022 – Halloween Special 2025!: Vons’s House of 1001 Spirits
It's our annual Halloween special! Vons is on the beach. The skies are grey, the rocks are alarmingly non-slick, and he has no idea how he got there. It begins to rain. But there's a familiar building nearby. Surely it's safe in there. Vons tries a subscription model. Jyessi pushes a ball. Grickx...
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SA021 – Punch Buddies Club (Part 2)
We finish out Punch Buddies Club(house)! There is: a twist. Also, violence! Vons only wants what's best for his buddy. Jyessi feels left out. Driving goes poorly for everyone. Gex is something beautiful. Philadelphia makes an appearance. Check us out online! We're at...
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SA020 – Punch Buddies Club (Part 1)
We're taking a quick break from our regularly-scheduled adventure due to irregular schedules! In its stead we present another fine Acting for your enjoyment. I'm sure you'll never guess what it is from the title. Jyessi is defined by stuff. Vons is so cool he gives Cool Vons a run for his money....
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211 – Pump the Shaft
The party scrambles to secure the flooded crystal chamber as cracks in its magic core threaten a breach that could kill them all. All they have to do is kill the enemies threatening to crush them, fix several subsystems, try to pump out a few hundred thousand cubic feet of water, and make sure…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Primary Attribute is a Castles & Crusades actual play podcast where our cast unravels the mysteries of Arx Moltimus, a mountain fortress that contains the last surviving city, as it flies through the sky above a world consumed by a supernatural corruption and attempts to hold out for just a little longer. Battles are fought, romances blossom, secrets are uncovered, and city infrastructure is maintained against all odds.
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Primary Attribute Cast
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Primary Attribute Incorporated have?
Primary Attribute Incorporated currently has 280 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Primary Attribute Incorporated about?
Primary Attribute is a Castles & Crusades actual play podcast where our cast unravels the mysteries of Arx Moltimus, a mountain fortress that contains the last surviving city, as it flies through the sky above a world consumed by a supernatural corruption and attempts to hold out for just a little...
How often does Primary Attribute Incorporated release new episodes?
Primary Attribute Incorporated publishes regularly with 280 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Primary Attribute Incorporated?
You can listen to Primary Attribute Incorporated on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Primary Attribute Incorporated?
Primary Attribute Incorporated is created and hosted by Primary Attribute Cast.
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