Purple Comedy

We've been off the air for a little while now, doing lots of othe things. If you want to catch up with John check out his brand new blog at http://johndburns.wordpress.com/ There'll be plenty to listen to on there soon when it goes audio! Special guest Anna talks about her Lesbian Handbook idea, loads of fun in this pocket sized episode, including how to motivate yourself to lose weight. Don't forget Inverness' new comedy club opens on the 28th of January at Ceol Mor, lot's of top acts including Keir McAllister who has been on Purple on a number of occasions. If you would like to find out more about the lesbian handbook you can read Anna's post here http://mcbitsandbobs.webs.com/thelesbianhandbook.htm

Irish Comedian Finchie Coveny comes on the show and tells us about his quest to take comedy to the oddest places on earth. Plus we review the film Another Year and Cornball Willicock III calls in with his views on the American penal system. Please help Kayley walk by making a small donation to her, visit her website here http://www.helpkayleywalk.com/

You must all die!! John explores some unusual ways of doing it. Plus the amazing Barry McDonald interviewed and performing at SNAFU comedy club. You really don’t deserve this. Here is a link to Barry McDonald’s website http://www.barrymcdonald.co.uk/Comedy/Home.html

It's disasters at sea with Purple Comedy's latest episode featuring comedian Jason C Murphy and singer songwriter Adrian Telfer. Check out Adrian's website here http://www.adriantelfer.com/ Visit Jason C Murphy's blog at http://whengigsgobad.com/

Purple Comedy’s back from the dead!!! Direct from the Edinburgh Fringe John visits Richard Plusford at Mirth of Forth’s HQ in the Fringe. Plus a journey to Strathpeffer to visit Emma Shearer’s Coffee shop concert with music from the amazing Jon Gomm. All this and news of a new Arts community website in the Highlands. Links... Links ....Links.... John Gomm http://www.jongomm.com/ Mirth of Forth http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=343049593939#!/group.php?gid=343049593939 Emma Shearer on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=529501715 Northings http://northings.com/ And Adrian Telfer who was also playing at Strathpeffer www.adriantelfer.com

John escapes from Inverness and visits the North of Scotland’s top Comedy Club SNAFU. Hear Gus Tawse talk about the club and perform live on stage. http://www.clubsnafu.com/ Also Ireland’s Colm Mc Glinchey performs some great stuff about the WII Check him out on facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=248659247560&ref=ts#!/profile.php?id=521900509&ref=sgm Colm is at the Glasgow Stand 10th 11th July And don’t forget to join us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=248659247560&ref=ts

Valdimir McTavish joins the show, live from SNAFU comedy club in Aberdeen and tells us all about his hilarious new book The Top 50 Greatest Scots of all Time, EVER! Who would your top 50 Scots be? How about your lowest 50 Scots/ John ponders who would be the top greatest American’s See more of Vladimir here http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/comics/VladimirMcTavish 20 mins Audio

John has a religious experience in his underpants, Rant and dick pollute the show, pushing back the boundaries of obscenity. 15 minutes of your life you’ll never want back. Click here for the Rant and Dick podcast and blog... http://rantdick.blogspot.com/

Birthday boy John Burns wanders bleary eyed through some of London’s comedy clubs. Drop into Islington’s Lion’s Den comedy club or learn how to survive in the Comedy Store. This and Cornball Willicock III’s views on obesity. More fun than you can click at. Check out the Lion’s Den at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=18253060302 http://www.lionsdencomedy.co.uk

John Steals ideas from Forum posts on Stephen Fry's website. Property is theft after all, except when your bike gets nicked when it's an insurance claim. Check out the original Forum here http://www.stephenfry.com/forum/topic/pet-hates

A bumper edition of Purple Comedy, Peter G Butler drops in from the Comedy Poop Podcast. Billy Kirkwood rants away and John decides ignorance is bliss. 20 mins audio Join Purple Comedy’s Facebook site http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=248659247560 Thanks for the rant Billy Kirkwood Gentleman’s Closet Podcast http://billykirkwood.podomatic.com/ Salt Box Comedy Club Norwich http://www.myspace.com/saltboxcomedy Comedy Poop Podcast http://petergbutler.podomatic.com/rss2.xml with Peter G Butler. Lucy Burgess. Peter Renton Stephen Fry’s Website http://www.stephenfry.com/

News from Purple Comedy land with Robert selling his Orc, John has an unfortunate conversation in a pub, Stephen Fry's website and, coming next on Purple Comedy, the Comedy Poop Podcast with Peter G Butler. check them out at http://petergbutler.podomatic.com/ Join Purple Comedy's new group on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=248659247560

John Burns drinks his way to midnight. Contains strong language and sluring.

The office party from Hell, Arthur Maid-Startler, Shadrack from the Vegetable liberation front and Cornball Willicock III all drop in for a mince pie and a drop of sherry. A big thanks to all our listeners for calling by and a happy Christmas from the Purple team. And don't forget Help John Burns in his attempt to become a TV presenter Vote for me here http://www.invernesstv.net/talentvote.html See John live 8.00 pm 11th Jan 2010 at Earls Court Laughing Horse gig http://www.laughinghorse.co.uk/ Have a Purple Christmas!!!

As John Burns continues to attempt to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for comedic success he travels to Glasgow, Scotland to visit his co-host Austin Low for some advice. Contains supreme silliness, controversial language and the occasional Welsh accent. 7mins Help Jon Burns to become a TV presenter Vote for him here http://www.invernesstv.net/talentvote.html

Advert for the devil. John decides to sell his soul to the devil for comedy fame. If you want to see John on Inverness TV and save him from the fire and brimstone click here and vote for John Burns http://www.invernesstv.net/talentvote.html

See John Burns live at Shaggers Comedy club Hootannany Inverness on Friday 11th of December 9.00 pm plus three other great comedians. Book here online http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=xxx&query=schedule&promoter=nikcoppin In this exciting episode, john wins the X factor, Austin wonders if you ever wanted to kill a loved one. He certainly does, this and much more in this episode of Purple Comedy 19 mins audio Oh we forgot here's the link to Kevin's podcast http://www.gcast.com/u/kjsisco

Heart breaking hilarity, the funny side of failed relationships & Austin tells John he’s full of shit. It can only be...Purple Comedy! Hosted by John ‘Burnsy’ Burns & Austin ‘Urban Joker’ Low Please leave a comment on this episode by clicking on the button above 17mins A big thanks to Flora Munro for her vocal talents in this episode.

John Burns travels the world in search of oddball events and people. In this edition, a bridge of butter from China, the world's worst driving instructor and much much more. Click here to watch the Australian baby falling under a train. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ24Mw_r0eo

Going down! The lift to hell, John get's searched at the airport and the sat nav takes us to another dimensin. All this and who is Zhou Libo! 8 mins audio

A special edition, Cornball Willicock III comes strait from the Swamp Cast with advice to Scotland's Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill on the American way of justice and why Al-Megrahi should never have been released.

Baldies rule, peeing on a train and the trouble with church. John burns returns to the web with more comic musings

This podcast can ruin your trousers. Exploding cigars, Batman and Robin and Dad visits a gay bar. All this and much less in our latest episode.

David versus Goliath, the English versus the Scots, great battles perhaps but in Crumpets versus Porridge who will win? John and Austin reduce thousands of years of history to a cookery contest. Dad visits a night club in Hello Son and Great Moments in History goes into outer space. Don’t miss our latest episode as excitement builds for the Glasgow Comedy Festival live show on 13.03.09 More details & book tickets at: http://www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/shows.aspx?ID=83 Audio 20 mins

John Burns (Old Git) & Urban Joker Austin Low (Man Child) bring you more madness from the world of Scottish Comedy…! Brand new sketches, stand up & the launch of the ‘Who the f**k are you!?’ Campaign! Email us: [email protected] Check out our live show & book tickets: http://www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/shows.aspx?ID=83 23 mins

Many people with autism struggle against prejudice arising from a lack of understanding of their condition. The charity Action for Children has produced a TV advert that reinforces those negative stereotypes. Listen to John Burns talk about how he, and many other people with direct experience of autism, feels about this advert. Please add your voice to ours and help defend people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Have a listen to our Autism Awareness Special edition (episode 46) for a different view of autism. You can view the advert here http://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/ Here is what Action for Autism has to say http://actionforautism.co.uk/2009/01/23/action-for-children-or-action-against-autistic-children/ Contact Action for Children here [email protected]

Podcast Pioneer John Burns & his silly sidekick, Urban Joker Austin Low delve into the world of Mushrooms, the inner workings of the human body, how the price of lettuce can be fatal and dancing Dads. All this and much less. With guest stand up, Bob Doolally + comic Kim Macaskill! 30 mins

Bomb blasts, how to eat a hornet’s nest and what is Scotland’s best chance of a Gold medal in the Olympics. Join John Burns and Urban Joker Austin Low, with chat, sketches and stand up from Scotland’s leading comedy duo. Live stand up from Bob Doolally rounds off this action packed show. 20 mins Bob Doolally stand up from Live and Half Cut CD courtesy of Sadly Dead Now records

Just a short Purple as Austin is busy right now. Introducing Quicksmart comedy writers and performers

Join the Indiana Jones of the Internet, John Burns & his offsensive buddy, Urban Joker -Austin Low for more classic comedy. This episode the daring duo discuss recent complaints about Austin's stand up, John's new diet & of course more awesome sketches! http://www.myspace.com/purplecomedy http://www.urbanjoker.com

Join Master-Podcaster John Burns & Urban Joker Austin Low for another action-packed edition of Purple Comedy! Jam'ed with brand new sketches, and stand up, this time from our very own Burnsy! (20mins) http://www.myspace.com/purplecomedy http://www.urbanjoker.com

All your questions answered. Why you should never offer your future bride cake? Who did John visit in Soho? What’s the truth behind Pirate Chat? What does Chris Carpenter do on the back seat of his car? Where is Newcastle? Audio 35 mins Pirate Chat Check out Pirate Chat too http://www.myspace.com/piratechat

Award winning actor and writer Bob Kingdom gives a fascinating insight into the life of Stan Laurel. Although he married 8 times, Stan was never able to replace his only perfect partner, Oliver Hardy. Listen to the show and find out more. To find out where you can see Bob’s one man play about Stan visit http://www.theculture.net/bobkingdom/ Audio 25 mins Check out the Laurel and Hardy Forum Podcast on Podomatic http://laurelandhardy.podomatic.com/ or for more info on stan and Ollie visit the forum http://www.laurelandhardyforum.com/