Purpose, not Pity: After the Impact

For the first time ever, Erika has a guest.Donielle Young, known as the Grief Disruptor, lost her husband to stage four colon cancer, is raising a teenage son alone, and built an entire movement for women who refuse to disappear after loss. She is the founder of MHDS Media and the creator of the G3 Method, a framework that takes you from grief, through the grit, to the glow up.But this isn't an interview. This is two women who know what it costs to keep going, sitting down together with no script and no performance.They go deep on what nobody talks about: the second loss, the one that comes after the funeral. The loss of who you used to be. They talk about why grief exposes everything you were before it arrived. Why the glow up isn't a finish line. Why joy comes with guilt, and where that guilt actually comes from. And what to say to the woman whose grief nobody brought a casserole for.This one is for every kind of loss. The death, yes. But also the divorce, the career, the identity, the version of yourself you thought you were finally becoming.Connect with Donielle Young at https://mhdsmedia.com/Instagram | TikTokBook: From Grief Through the Grit to the Glow Up

The lease renewal came. The rent stays the same. And Erika cried anyway.In Episode 4 of Purpose Not Pity, Erika Hernandez gets honest about what it feels like to face losing the first home she ever chose for herself. Not out of desperation. Not for her kids. For her. And how a survival decision she made years ago, an $825 car payment that exists because she chose to feed her family instead of ask for help, might be the reason she has to walk away from it.This episode also carries something heavier underneath it. In one week, her son Jovan would have turned 21. Erika is recording this knowing he is watching. And she is choosing to keep moving forward not because she has it all figured out, but because she owes it to his memory to not give up on her own life.This is not a highlight reel. This is the messy, real, unfinished middle of rebuilding. For anyone who has ever had to make a decision that looked like a step back but was actually survival. For anyone who has confused their square footage with their worth.You are not your rent. You are not your car payment. You are the one who survived the fire.

I recorded this episode four times. Did my hair. Set up the lights. Tried to make it look put together. And every single time, I deleted it.So this is version five. No makeup. No lighting. Just me in my pajamas being honest about something I did not want to say out loud.I am almost 46 years old. And a few weeks ago, I texted my mom to ask her to cover my rent.In this episode, I talk about what it actually looks like to survive a hard season when you are the type of person who refuses to ask for help. The delivery apps. The savings account I emptied out. The back that gave out twice doing Instacart. And the 20 minutes I sat staring at my mom's name in my phone before I finally sent the text.I also talk about the pressure that comes with being in your 40s, 50s, or 60s and still being in the middle of it. The shame of not being "set" by now. The lie we were handed about what this stage of life is supposed to look like. And why I am done pretending that getting through hard things looks like a 30-second montage with an uplifting song.This one is for everyone who is white-knuckling their life right now because they are too embarrassed to need people.You are not behind. You are just still in it.

Most of us don't question the structure holding our identity together, until it's gone. In episode 2, Erika gets honest about what happens after the loss you planned for turns into the disorientation you didn't see coming. The job. The relationship. The version of yourself that existed before the hardest thing you survived.This episode is about the invisible architecture we build our sense of self on, routines, roles, rhythms, and what shows up when that architecture disappears. Not just sadness. Not just anxiety. Something quieter and harder to name: the feeling of being mapless.Erika shares what unemployment looked like by day five, what a Sprouts grocery run had to do with identity, why shame doesn't need to be loud to do damage, and why the real question was never "when will I feel like myself again?" but "who am I now?If something in your life has shifted and you're still standing in the middle of it, this one's for you.Purpose, Not Pity drops new episodes every first and third Tuesday. Subscribe wherever you listen.

What do you do when life hits you again — right after you thought you had finally found your footing?Two days after the Season 1 finale aired, Erika's position was eliminated. In this episode, she opens Season 2 with the unfiltered truth about sudden job loss, financial uncertainty, and what rebuilding actually looks like when the ground starts shifting again.If you are navigating job loss, starting over after a setback, or rebuilding your life while managing grief, this conversation is for you.Because the question is not when will life settle down. The question is: who are you when it doesn't?Forward, intentionally.

No one is coming to hand you the stability you've been waiting for. That is not a harsh truth, it is a freeing one.Season 2 of Purpose, Not Pity: After the Impact is an honest look at what recalibration actually feels like. Not the performed version. The gritty, daily work of finding your footing while the ground is still moving beneath you.This season covers identity after loss, rebuilding after setbacks, and what intentional living looks like when the clarity is incomplete and the guarantees are gone.If you are in the middle of something right now, this season is for you.New episodes every 1st and 3rd Tuesday.Forward, intentionally.

In the Season One finale of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika closes the year with a letter, not to who she was, but to who she’s becoming.It’s a love letter to the future self, the woman still in the making, the version shaped by healing, motherhood, grief, resilience, creativity, and purpose.It’s about identity after loss, rebuilding after life breaks open, and becoming someone you don’t recognize yet, but hope to meet.This episode isn’t about grief as tragedy, it’s about grief as transformation.It asks: Who do we become after the worst thing happens? Who do we become when the world forces us to grow? Who do we become when survival stops being enough?If you’re in a season of becoming, after divorce, after loss, after heartbreak, after disappointment, or simply after a year that changed you, this episode is for you.Season Two begins March 17th. Until then, Erika will be sharing a new series on TikTok called The Intentional Interruption, for the moments life reroutes you, pauses you, or hands you a choice.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

In this deeply reflective episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika explores the quiet, often unspoken emotional space that many people find themselves in during the holidays after loss, heartbreak, or major life change.Not the kind of grief that demands attention.Not the kind of healing that looks inspirational.But the kind that shows up as restraint, reflection, and not knowing how to explain what you feel.Erika opens up about how the holidays have shifted for her over the years, from childhood magic, to single motherhood, to grief, to this in-between season where nothing feels wrong, but nothing feels the same. She speaks honestly about loneliness, peace, uncertainty, and the pressure to perform joy when your inner world has changed.This episode is for anyone who:Feels disconnected from the holidays but can’t explain whyIs healing but still grieving parts of the life they didn’t getFeels pressure to show up joyful when quiet feels more honestIs learning to let the season be what it is, without forcing meaningYou don’t need to fix the holidays.You don’t need to explain yourself.And you don’t need to feel alone in this.A gentle, grounding conversation for anyone navigating the holidays while becoming someone new.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika reflects on a recent real-life moment that revealed how much she’s changed, not through what she did, but through what she no longer felt the need to carry. Through honest storytelling and reflection, she explores the difference between accountability and emotional labor, and how healing teaches us to stop absorbing blame, guilt, and anxiety that don’t belong to us.If you’ve ever felt responsible for keeping the peace, carrying emotional weight that wasn’t yours, or turning difficult moments into proof that something was wrong with you, this conversation is an invitation to pause, and let something fall.Healing isn’t about becoming cold or detached. It’s about learning when to hold, and when to let go.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

In this deeply personal and unexpected episode, Erika shares the moment that stopped her in her tracks, a simple family photo on Facebook that opened a door to a truth she never fully acknowledged until now.What begins as an ordinary dinner with a friend turns into a powerful reflection on marriage, pressure, parenthood, old wounds, and the kind of healing that reveals itself years later. Erika opens up about the choices she made at twenty, the weight of expectation, the realities of a young and unsteady marriage, and the painful honesty of knowing something wasn’t right long before she had the courage to say it out loud.But this episode isn’t about regret.It’s about clarity. It’s about preparation. It’s about the way God sometimes removes what we’re not ready to let go of, because He knows what’s coming next.For anyone navigating heartbreak, release, forgiveness, or the quiet ways life prepares us for unimaginable storms, this episode is a reminder that:Letting go is not failure.Letting go is preparation.If you’re healing from a past relationship, struggling with letting go, or learning to trust the timing of your life, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

This episode explores the possibility that not all hardship is punishment, some of it is preparation. Inspired by a conversation on Angie Martinez IRL with Joe Budden reflecting on Kobe Bryant, Erika asks a powerful question:What if everything you survived didn’t shape you for pain… but for purpose, peace, and blessings you haven’t met yet?We talk about becoming emotionally ready for the life we want, understanding divine timing, releasing armor, and stepping into a season where strength looks like softness, truth, and self-acceptance.This episode will challenge the way you see your past and open your heart to a future where you don’t just survive, you become.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

A FaceTime call from my bonus son, Malachi, flipped my whole day. What started as a normal check-in turned into him admitting something he never says out loud… that since my son Jovan passed, he hasn’t been able to find that kind of connection again. And he feels lonely.In this bonus episode, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moment grief showed up out of nowhere and shifted everything. This is about the loneliness we don’t talk about enough, the connections we can’t replace, and the way grief hits even when life looks “fine.”If you’ve ever felt joy and heartbreak in the same day… this one is for you.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

Most people expect anger after loss to look loud and obvious. But what if your anger is quiet? What if it lives in your body, in long silences, in questions you can’t say out loud?In this “halfway” episode of Purpose, Not Pity (Episode 7), Erika Hernandez dives into the anger that doesn’t look like anger. She talks about the invisible rage after losing a child, being angry at God, herself, the justice system, and even the person accused in his death. She shares how she masked her pain, turned inward, and learned that true healing begins when you stop hiding your anger and let it lead you out of the dark. If your life looks nothing like you planned, this episode is for you. Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s not just your dreams that disappear,  it’s the version of yourself you thought you’d always be.In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what it feels like to stand in the wreckage of the life you once imagined and realize nothing looks the way you thought it would. From divorce and career setbacks to infertility, addiction, and loss, this episode is about what happens when the picture shatters, and how to find yourself again in what’s left.Because starting over isn’t about rebuilding what broke. It’s about picking up one piece that still feels like you and carrying it forward.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

When life breaks you open through loss, heartbreak, or tragedy, it is not just the person you lose. It is the friendships you thought would last forever. Some friends vanish. Some go silent. And sometimes, it is you who has to walk away.In this raw episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what nobody talks about: the disappointment of friends who never show up, the shock of realizing who actually stays, and the loneliness of trying to rebuild your circle after everything changes. From being the “mom friend” who always protected others, to questioning whose responsibility it is to reach out after heartbreak, to learning how to live with a much smaller circle, this conversation is for anyone who has ever felt abandoned, angry, or deeply alone.Because the truth is, friendships are not always forever. But the ones that survive? They are sacred.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What happens when grief collides with your menstrual cycle? In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika opens up about a deeply personal experience: a week of nonstop tears that felt like a setback in her healing journey, until she realized her period had arrived.Grief already weighs heavy, but hormonal shifts during PMS and perimenopause can amplify sadness, irritability, fatigue, and brain fog. Erika shares how living with rheumatoid arthritis made the symptoms even harder to untangle, why so little is written about the connection between hormones and grief, and why it’s time to start talking about it openly.This conversation isn’t just for women who menstruate. Grief collides with all of our bodies; through stress, sleep, illness, or aging. Whether you’ve lost a child, a relationship, or a version of yourself, this episode sheds light on the often-hidden ways heartbreak shows up physically and reminds you that you’re not alone in it.Join Erika as she breaks the silence on a taboo topic and invites us to track, prepare, and give ourselves grace when grief and our bodies intersect.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

On the second anniversary of my son Jovan’s passing, I’m opening this podcast with something deeply personal, a letter to him.This isn’t a story told from a place of healing already found, but from the middle of it. In this episode, I take you back to the hours before he left, the silence that followed, the anger I carried, and the truth I finally allowed myself to say out loud.You’ll hear about grief, yes. But also what it means to start over. To seek peace. To rediscover purpose, not because you’re ready, but because you have no other choice.This letter is where my story begins. And maybe… where some of yours will begin, too.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

Who were you before your heartbreak? Before the divorce, the loss, the diagnosis, the friendship that ended, the dream that slipped away?In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the version of me that existed before September 2nd, 2023, before I lost my son. I share what my mom, my sister, and my childhood friend remember about me, and how loss forced me to confront the truth: we are never the same after heartbreak.But here’s the hope, that’s not failure. That’s transformation.This episode isn’t just about my story. It’s about our stories. About how loss strips us down, reshapes us, and forces us to meet a version of ourselves we never expected. One that is wiser, softer, and stronger in ways we couldn’t see before.If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost yourself, this conversation is for you. You’re not lost. You’re being remadeSupport the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What does it really mean to live again after loss?In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the reality of rebuilding after Jovan’s passing, not in the big, dramatic moments, but in the daily ones. The first time I had to drive a car without him. The first time I showed up to work after crying in the parking lot. The first time I cooked, cleaned, or shopped for one less person.We’ll talk about the pressure people put on us to "move on," and the even heavier pressure of daily life that doesn’t stop when your world does. And then, I’ll share the turning point that helped me realize survival isn’t the same as living, and why joy after loss isn’t betrayal, it’s survival.This episode isn’t just about my story. It’s about all of us who’ve been cracked open by heartbreak, whether it’s death, divorce, addiction, lost friendships, or broken dreams. Together, we’ll explore how rebuilding doesn’t start with a blueprint, it starts with just one brick.If you’ve ever felt stuck in your grief, your heartbreak, or your own "first normals," this conversation is for you. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re rebuilding, even when you can’t see it yet.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What do you do when life breaks you open, and nothing looks like you imagined?Welcome to Purpose, Not Pity, a podcast for anyone who’s walked through loss, pain, or transformation and is learning to live with intention on the other side.I’m Erika Hernandez, storyteller, bonus mom, grieving mother, healing human, and in this space, we’re choosing truth over polish, presence over perfection, and purpose over pity.This short trailer will give you a glimpse into what’s coming, what this podcast is really about, and why you’ll never have to walk your healing journey alone again.🎧 Full episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month.Support the showStay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform. TikTok: @by.erikahernandezInstagram: @byerikahernandezYouTube: @byerikahernandez 🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month 📬 Want to share your story or connect? Email: [email protected] 💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.