Rachel & Sam Read a Story
by Sam Gasch & Rachel Bieber
Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books, but it's also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. Sit back and let us re-read your childhood favorites, and some new additions to the world of children's lit, and make fun of them all the while!
Episodes
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The Magic Word
Joined once again by our guest Bridget Renshaw (@BridgetRenshaw), we read a story about a child who ASCENDS past the mere limits of his own fragile child-self and becomes a GOD!! At least, that's my theory. See, this kid discovers the Word. The true Word. The Magic Word. And by the power of...
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Quit Calling Me a Monster!
There are monsters EVERYWHERE!! Well, not really, just one specific monster, but he IS on every page of this book! And sure, he's a monster, but he hates being called that. Floyd doesn't like labels. And we here at the podcast don't really like labels either. So here's out "friend" back again to...
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Leave Me Alone!
Rachel, if you did not already know this, is a fan of yarn. Like, a pretty big fan. The number 1 fan? Maybe not, but she's up there. So when she saw on the shelves a book about someone who just wanted to be left alone so that they could knit. SOLD. Easy. So we sat down today and chatted about...
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The Case of the Stinky Stench
If listeners of this podcast know one thing, it's that we LOVE Josh Funk (@joshfunkbooks). Also his books are pretty fun. This is the 4th Josh Funk installment and Rachel and I were DELIGHTED to sink our teeth into it. (GET IT?? BECAUSE FOOD!) Inspector Croissant is a food after my own heart. And...
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Blobfish Throws a Party
We all have our favorite animals. Mine happens to be the Peregrine Falcon because it is AWESOME. Well not all animals get chosen. Some of those animals are the Blobfish. But Blobfish needs love and friendship too! So Blobfish is going to throw a party! Using his INCREDIBLE SUPERPOWERS Blobfish...
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Even Superheroes Have Bad Days
It's a Nerdist School Network cross-promotion! Amanda Barnes (@BarnesWrites and @ComicBookNovice) co-hosts the super wonderful and fun podcast The Novice and Frank! It's all about the world of comic books and superheroes, but did we have the perfect book for her! Superheroes taught us a valuable...
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The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
We are joined this week by the incredibly talented and wonderful person, Harry Valentine (@hairyvalentine). And together we read a book that took three years to complete and won an ACADEMY AWARD. So I think THAT means that it should be good enough for you! The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris...
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Grover and Big Bird's Passover Celebration
It's that time again. Passover! That time of year when we give up the sweet, sweet carbs we love and settle down to a nice, underwhelming book. This year's entry is Sesame Street themed! And boy, was it.... fine. Grover and Big Bird are visiting their friends in Israel, for some reason, because...
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The Three Pigs
It's the Three Pigs! (editor's note: Not Little Pigs) One builds a house out of straw, another out of sticks, and a third out of bricks! But they build their houses out of THE VERY FABRIC THAT KNITS THEIR WORLD TOGETHER. AND NOW THAT FABRIC HAS BEEN TORN ASUNDER AND THEY MUST JOURNEY THROUGH THE...
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Interrupting Chicken
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a fine example of children's literature. As you can tell from the careful brushstrokes, to the-HEY EVERYONE!! YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO INTERRUPTING CHICKEN!! IT'S AN ADORABLE STORY ABOUT A LITTLE CHICKEN (note: Not Chicken Little) WHO ALWAYS FEELS THE NEED TO SAVE…
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Cowpoke Clyde Rides the Range
Did you know that they sold bicycles from catalogs? And di you know that they are, like, RIDICULOUSLY cheap? Neither did we. But Clyde knows. And Clyde took full advantage! With the help of his trusty dog, Dawg, Clyde gives riding a bike a try! Rachel and I already know how to ride bikes....
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This is not a picture book!
Rachel and I are back to our old tricks! And by tricks, we mean reading awesomely adorable children's books! This week's picture book is NOT a picture book. Except that it is. And isn't? It's confusing. The important thing is that Rachel know about baking and watching TV, and Sam actually…
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CROSSOVER - Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
Episode #150 It's our SESQUICENTENNIAL!! That means it's our 150th episode. And sure, with lost episodes, and bonus episodes, we may have hit this a couple weeks ago, but this is the podcast with the NUMBER 150!!! So we had to do something special! We were joined by special guests from across the...
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Saturday
Iiiiit's SATURDAY! Or it was when we recorded (and I uploaded) this episode! And who better to appreciate a Saturday then a wonderful child. Or an absolutely HORRIBLE child, in this case. Man, if I was this kid's parent, there is no WAY I would put with this level of shenanigans. But these…
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Ninja! Attack of the Clan
It ain't easy bein' a ninja. Especially when your family is, like, SUPER busy. But sometimes you have the best family. Ninja! is a fun little story about Maxwell, who is a self-made ninja which is REALLY hard to do, must take on the greatest foe he's ever faced.... a 5-year-old girl....
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Thunder Boy Jr.
Man, having a nice family is great. This week and next's podcast are all about just... the BEST families! Thunder Boy Jr., in particular, talks about a son living in the shadows of his Dad and wanting to find a way to find his own identity. It is adorable and beautiful! But I think that we can…
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Dante's Journey
Hoo boy, this book... The full title for this book is "Dante's Journey: An Infernal Adventure." And it... it is NOT good. I mean, if you're the sort of parent who wants to TERRIFY YOUR CHILD, then yeah sure, this book is for you. But if you're an parent who is in ANY WAY SENSIBLE, then DAMN. And…
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Nobody Likes a Goblin
Now, I don't know about you, but I play D&D. (I mean, I actually prefer the Savage Worlds play style, since it relies more on creativity and less on dice rolls, but since all I can get is D&D at the moment, it's fine.) And like anyone else who's played D&D, I have raided my share of dungeons and...
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We Found a Hat
After almost two and a half YEARS, Rachel and I finally returned to Rachel's author crush Jon Klassen (@burstofbeaden)! He wrote the books I Want My Hat Back and This is Not My Hat which are absolutely PHENOMENAL children's books. And now there is a third in the Klass-Hat-Based-Books! Hooray!…
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Are You My Breakfast?
So last month I took a little trip to something in Pasadena called DesignerCon! While there, I found a little booth where a nice gentleman named Dane Ault (@monkeyminion) was selling children's cooks that he had illustrated himself! And he even had a parody of the Rachel & Sam classic: Are you my...
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The Nightmare Before Christmas
We've all seen the movie. No, seriously, we've ALL seen the movie. But did you know that Tim Burton also made The Nightmare Before Christmas into a children's book? It's similar but different! Jack is way, WAY more of a narcissist. And, frankly, he wasn't doing too well on that score in the…
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The Big Monster Snorey Book
Monsters are TERRIFYING. If they aren't stomping around wreaking havoc and destruction, then they are trying to EAT you! Oh, these monsters are asleep. And this Little Monster is just telling us about them and making a little recording. That's okay, we guess! Maybe monsters aren't so bad after…
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Hello, My Name is Octicorn
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Or... EIGHT! Four? Um... Hello! This little guy's name is Octicorn and he is the result of a Unicorn Daddy and and Octopus Mommy! I think there's the potential for a lewd joke there, but this is a podcast about childish kid things so I won't make it! See, the thing about...
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Dino-Wrestling
Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, but you know what's MORE fun that Thanksgiving? Well, with my family, really anything, but in the context of this podcast... DINOSAURS WRESTLING!! Joined by Paul Laier (@PaulBrawl) we take a real close look at the world of wrestling when it's done by dinosaurs. And...
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Pirasaurs!
This week is Thanksgiving in the United States! A wonderful holiday where we all go home and argue with our families! No wait, it's the holiday where express joy over our annihilation of the native populace! OOOO absolutely not that, no. We are... thankful? Yeah! And this week we are VERY…
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Duck on a Tractor
And now it's time to get silly. And nothing is sillier than a duck on a tractor! Well, maybe not as silly as a duck and cow on a tractor. And even THAT isn't quite as silly as a duck and a cow and a goat on a tractor. And beyond THAT- Okay, some silliness is occurring and I don't want to get in…
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Lillian's Right to Vote
Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. In the United States that means that we are VOTING tomorrow. And in this particular year, it is INCREDIBLY important that we all vote. I mean, it's important every year, but I mean, 2016 is just sort of a, wow, QUITE an outlier. Rachel suggested, and I agreed, that this...
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Space Boy and the Space Pirates
Space. The final... book-tier. (That's a thing right? "Book-tier?" ... NO?? Fine. Whatever.) These are the stories of a young man, his dog, and robot co-pilot as they face off against Space's scariest nemesis. The....... SPACE PIRATE!! OOOoooooOOOOoooOOOOO!!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about…
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The Wump World
You guys, Rachel did it! She found this book from my childhood! It's is the tale of a magical world populated only by a WONDERFUL selection of capybaras. Can you think of a more ideal planet? No. And neither can I. Especially if that planet also has internet. But no really, you know how some…
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The Boy Who Cried Bigfoot
Because crying "wolf" is SO last millenium. Ben is a little boy who likes to tell stories. Or as we, adults, like to call them: LIES. Horrible, Horrible lies. Made up by communists. Unless those lies are true. And ESPECIALLY if those lies lead to the creation of a completely ridiculous reality...
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The Bear Ate Your Sandwich
The Bear ate it. We saw, or rather read about, the whole thing! And man, that bear sure had an amazing day! Just picture this bear on his FIRST day in the big city! Oh boy! He's gonna get an ice cream cone, take a picture at the top of the Empire State Building, through his lovely hat into the…
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Quackers
Quackers is a duck. Oh sure, Quackers may look like a cat, and SOUND like a cat. But I tell you true! Quackers is a duck. Mittens, on the other hand (Ha HA! Puns!), is the weirdest duck that Quackers has ever met and Quackers is excited to find out more. And also, at the end, an argument about...
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Bear is Not Tired
Rachel and Sam may be tired, but Bear is not. No sir. Bear will be hanging out ALL winter with his little ducky friends. But friends, Winter is Coming. And Bear must prepare. For the Night is dark and full of terrors. And Ducks. The night is dark and full of terror and ducks. I think that's about...
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Warning! Do Not Open This Book!
Be warned! The contents of this book have been known to be volatile and try to escape! Be secondarily warned! Sam's is having to skype in this episode and it's a little fuzzy. But most importantly, no matter WHAT you do, DO. NOT. OPEN. THIS. BOOK. But I mean... now we kinda gotta! Right? Rachel &...
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Dear Dragon
I've never had a pen pal before. It always seemed like a cool thing to have. When my friend Payim moved away when I was a kid, I suggested we be pen pals, but it never happened. Now this kid, George, he DOES get to have a pen pal. And it's a DRAGON! How AWESOME is that?? And this guy, Blaise…
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Elsie Clarke and the Vampire Hairdresser
How many haircuts does a person need at a time? ONE! Ah-ah-ah! Alright, you may now commence boo-ing. Y'know, like a ghost! Oh man, I can't stop myself. Anyway, this is a cute little book about a little girl who's afraid of getting haircuts, and what better what to get over one fear than having…
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Mother Bruce
You have to admire a bear that knows what he wants. And Bruce wants eggs, so he goes out and GETS them. Of course, eggs always have a different maturation time and if Bruce get's the timing SLIGHTY wrong, then- Well now we've got ourselves a Mother Goose Bruce. Rachel thought this book was...
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Frankencrayon
We are just on a 4th wall breaking kick! Frankencrayon promised to be an amazing book. Unfortunately though, it was CANCELLED. So what's a cast of crayons to do? Well I mean they HAVE to explain what happened. A book doesn't just get cancelled for no reason... right?? Frankencrayon is a fun…
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The Midnight Library
Times when you would be surprised to find the library open: Midnight. Times when THIS library IS open: Midnight (until Dawn). Patrons of previously mentioned Midnight Library: Aminals. All SORTS of aminals! We gots squirrels. A lady wolf. And a TURTLE! I like turtles. And you will like this book!...
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Samira and the Skeletons
You guys. Did you know that there is a skeleton INSIDE YOUR BODY, like, ALL the time?? Because I sure didn't know. Neither did Samira. It's sure weird and gross. Who'd even WANT a skeleton in your body? It would go wherever you go and see whatever you do! How weird is that?? All the weird. So…
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Please, Open this Podcast!
It's simple. If you stop listening, we slowly fade away. The attentive ears of a grateful audience are all that breathed life into us in the first place, and now, you're thinking about NOT listening? .....oh no! This book, Please Open this Book, is similar. These poor adorable animals only exist...
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The Guild of Geniuses
Poor Mr. Pip. If only people understood him more! Or if he were named after one of the less... thrown-away-y parts of a fruit! But I guess it's not all bad. He is owned by THE famous actor. So that's nice. Then he gets put on loan to what has to be the most well-funded science institute OF ALL...
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The Stinky Cheese Man
I have been requesting this book for some time. It is good book. Or rather, I should say it is a good part of an otherwise ALSO good book! The Stinky Cheese Man is one of those play-on fairy tales that so accurately captures the spirit of the original while simultaneously parodying it, that I…
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Kid Sheriff and the Terrible Toads
We did not see this book coming. Seriously, out of left field it was. Anyway, there's this kid that comes to town. Mighty fine sheriff this youngin' turns out to be. Now, sure, you might be athinkin' that ain't no kid should be policin' the streets of such a rough a tumble town. Well, you'd be...
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I Want a MONSTER!
I mean, sure, a lot of kids would want a puppy. Or a cat of some variety. They're quite popular after all. But, if your world is populated by baby monsters, then wouldn't you just want one of those adorable little fuzzballs for your very own? I dunno, probably! I Want a MONSTER! Is a super fun…
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How to Put Your Parents to Bed
Man, if there's one thing I've always hated... it's bedtime. Sure, there all fun during the day. And it's so cute when they try and get there work done or ask for help, but the end of the day... UGG. I really don't like having to put my parents to bed. Luckily there's a book with some helpful...
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Dylan the Villain
MuAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh, ahem, excuse me! I didn't see you sitting there. I was practicing my evil laugh. The teacher says that if I don't get it just right by next Tuesday, then I may have to stay back a grade. I wish I were a natural super-villain. Man, if this stuff came more easily, this'd be...
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Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast
You ever wonder what your food does as soon as you close the refrigerator door? Well, worry no more because Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast is here to answer that question using delightful rhyme-scheme. So sit back and enjoy this world full of horrible mutilations and presumed cannibalism! At...
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Steve, Raised by Wolves
Jungle Book is all sorts of popular right now. And it should be. It's great! But what if the kid raised by wolves actually lived with the rest of humanity? How endearing would it be then? Still quite endearing, it turns out! Steve, Raised by Wolves is about alternate universe Calvin, or rather…
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DaDa
Jimmy Fallon, you scoundrel you, how are you gonna convince your kids to say "Dada" before "Mama"? Ah, I see, you chose to write book where EVERY OTHER WORD IS DADA. *sigh* Look, I can understand the desperate need to defeat your wife. I really do. (Believe me) But I can't help but feel as though...
About this show
Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books, but it's also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. Sit back and let us re-read your childhood favorites, and some new additions to the world of children's lit, and make fun of them all the while!
Hosted by
Sam Gasch & Rachel Bieber
Categories