Rating Descending

Email us if you too have gone on a smart, hot, funny, blonde, big boob journey. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another treat from King Boll so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s risky director, underwhelming plot, and surprising German leading man

Mud, piss, and shit. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another Cuba Gooding Jr. low so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into film’s blandness, use of goo, and pop punk soundtrack

Axioms of cringe, bananapepperpickles, and clique math. This week Small Tits Wardelski and Shelley Claires watched this colourful tween classic so you don’t have to! They take a quick dive into the film’s Bratz lore, choice soundtrack, and chaotic sequences

Extra hunk, horny for Cage, and joeylovesflicks.com! This week Michelle and Abigail watched this evangelical disaster so you don’t have to! They take a quick dive into the films leading man, cooked source material, and evil message

Blue jeans, Italian motorcycles, and Steve Rogers stealing your car. This week Abigail and Michelle watched superhero travesty so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film's enigmatic director, White Lotus, and pulling your weight in Duolingo

Get your 9 steps to a 20 year plan! This week Michelle and Abigail watched the terrible last instalment of the classic fantasy franchise so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films puppetry, befuddling plot, and Falkor failure

Twenty hundred million dollars, hard sells, and Real Rob reflections. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another Happy Madison nightmare so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films SNL bad boys, stand out jokes, and more wholesome elements

The first of many Friedberger and Seltzer orders. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another fuckin’ Hunger Games parody so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films dastardly creators, source material, and occasional funny moments

Duolingo pacts, grande women, and 95 Dabbensteins. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this distasteful post-2010 horror so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films young cast, predictable plot, and the Slenderman mythology

Suck fuck circles, telepotties, and chedding. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another Bollywood flop so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into  the films leading ladies, radical progressiveness, and bad wrap

Pussy flaps, sketty o’betty, e storie Italiane. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another 2010s horror film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films slow pace, frustrating ending, and poorly chosen cast. Listen till the end for a Shania Twain treat. 

Never ending overviews, brain worms, and staged bear vs bicycle accidents. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this 70s cult classic so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films breakout star, shoddy production design, and piss weak plot

Family secrets, lame drag, and Civil War tangents. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this cult horror so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s breakout stars, memorable lines, and purposeful absurdity

Worms, seahorses, and Jimmy Jonathan Drake throwbacks. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this Pamela Anderson cult classic so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s leading lady, grungy aesthetic, and nonsense plot

Saloon doors, fishing nets, and responsive bodies. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the filmed that tanked Dana Carvey’s career. They take a quick dive into the films quality of jokes, cut scenes, and different disguises

Git R' Done, more fart jokes, and making another you. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another Larry the Cable Guy dud so you don't have to. They take a quick dive into the film's flaccid jokes, wasting Megyn Price, and prolific bumper stickers.

Ambient physical touch, deceptive muscles, and testi slips. This new year Abigail and Michelle watched this Sandler turd so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s leading man, redeeming Jill moments, and Pacino’s lowest era

31.9% montage, being a Never Hanks, and ending the Cold War. This bonus episode Abigail and Michelle watched Abigail’s favourite Rocky instalment and you should too! They take a quick dive into the film’s banging soundtrack, fear of Russia, and unexpected robot additions

Nebulous cages, winning the podcast, and the guy from Thermopylae. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this Pixar wannabe so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the expansive cast, emoji lore, and themes around identity

Popcorn mukbang, Turkish history, and spicy oily beans. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the final Recep Ivedik so you don't have to! They take a quick dive into the film's sporadic jokes, interethnic tensions, and finally finishing the Recep series.

Frog fights, zoot suits, and Back to Bateman. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this werewolf flop so you don’t have to! They take a quick dive into the films leading man, practical effects, and silliest lines

Tight pums, Paul Rudd gags, and the Great Mars Debate. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this E.T. rip off so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the nostalgic score, ket-addled aliens, and obnoxious product placement

Sci-Fi, Paranormal, and Just a Guy. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this surprising horror films so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films atmosphere, plot holes, and scary elements

Stargazy pies, archaic names, and shawsharks. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another DC flop so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films impractical costumes, scorned leading lady, and strange CGI choices

Mini Buellers, party guys, and watery slushies. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this unsolicited sequel so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the hit and miss cast, flat jokes, and lack of narrative objectives

Footy friends, ass men, and Where’s Laura Linney? This week Abigail and Michelle the pinnacle of an IMDb 5 star flick so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films stacked cast, directorial approach, and emotional soullessness

Nickelback jams, Buffy shirts, and justice for Sansa. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another “parody” so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into anything but this movie, including Kids in the Hall and winter fashion staples

Eyebrow interns, Abigail lore, and Scary/Ginger stanning. This week Stinky Spice and Silly Spice watched this cult classic and you should too! They take a quick dive into the films major girl power, best jokes, and stellar cameos

Taut torsos, liberating cringe, and Britney is Christ! This week Michelle and Abigail watched this feel good chick flick and liked it. They take a quick dive into the films underestimated leading lady, banished female director, and genuinely moving moments

Cute snakes, tank turtles, and cat telepathy. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the machinations of a lunatics so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films confusing plot, forgettable leads, and CGI monsters

Default kids, giant cookies, and eating shoes. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another Rodriguez eyesore so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s child stars, distinct visuals, and existential thematics 

Chopped up bees, injuring babies, and the suckle of life. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the latest Scary Movie so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s better instalments, stacked cast, and style of humour

Big D families, natural burps, and linear humour. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another Wayans travesty so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films crass jokes, excessive parodied movies, and prolific family behind it

Pawpaw accidents, aroma-scopes, and 1000 litres of water. This week Abigail, Michelle, and ol’ m8 Gaden Sousa watched another Spy Kids film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s CGI sets, rebooted cast, and Four Pivens™️

Cockney Paul Atreides, saving fluids, and going to Boboland. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this erotic parody so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films endearing leading man, source material, and sort of redeeming jokes

Working out, losing the game, and feeding 750 soldiers. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the last Police Academy so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films troubled location, returning cast, and tired jokes

I clumby, nut galleries, and the Leslie Nielsen Section. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this “comedy” so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films leading man, repulsive visuals, and the mark it never made

Michelle face, more Cumming, and incurable brain damage. This week Abigail and Michelle watch this prequel so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films pretty cast, best jokes, and cheap props

A short announcement regarding our upcoming schedule. See you in May!

Huge wife guys, mutiny people, and being xanied. This week Michelle, Abigail, and 100% real husband of the podcast Claude watch this fantasy disaster so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films performances, shoddy CGI, and D&D tropes

Madonna’s biceps, 135 day cruises, and “Sweetdaddy” reviews. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this Guy Ritchie disaster so you don’t have to. They take a quick look into the films leading lady, lack of subtext, and questionable takes on intimacy

Loving space, hating Cars, and being for anti. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this flop comedy so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s comedian lead, strong supporting cast, and funnier moments

Free teeth, teen stigmata, and inappropriate theme songs. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another Lohan film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films leading lady, ambitious decisions, and crappy dialogue

Nutty nut, cornholes, and Michelle Stepping In™️. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another so-called comedy so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films cast, good and bad jokes, and the talentless jerk who made it

Gala fornu, gossipgail, and Jeremy Glasses. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the unofficial Donnie Darko sequel so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s silly plot, weird dialogue, and mega-fan director

Sleep hygiene, busting a gut, and Abby On The Edge™️. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this absolute waste of time so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films overt sexism, homophobia, and cast of nobodies

Tarocash shirts, CGI bulls, and dick snips. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this Bollywood slog so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s luscious costuming, notable actors, and melodramatic reaction shots

Seaman monologues, no-fat February, and Cocaine Quaid. This week Michelle and Abigail watched the third Jaws film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into shark attacks, the original Jaws film, and the film’s lack of gore

Energy modules, r/horses, and jelly suns. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the last Reeve Superman film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the film’s leading man, shocking CGI, and camp villain

Batnipples, rubber lips, and toyetics. This week Michelle, Abigail, and special returning guest Shane Anderson watched this camp Batman instalment and you should too! They take a long look into the film’s hammy puns, notable cast members, and delightful director