PODCAST · comedy
Red String Theories
by Isaac Hantman-Weill
Every week, your hosts and lifelong best friends, Isaac Hantman-Weill and Matteo Velardo, take a look at five random news stories throughout the week and improvise a crazy conspiracy theory that ties them together.
Episodes
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Episode 31: Nightmareland (Floopsy Dooperstein’s Revenge) (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)
In this special Halloween episode, Isaac and Matteo meet a familiar face in a strange and spooky dimension. While there, they tie together some illicit injections, a paddling pumpkin, a fake funeral home, and a spooky Winnie the Pooh switcheroo into a theory about shady businesses trying to close...
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Episode 30: RUSTY CHAINZ (Sexually Liberated Witch with an OnlyFans)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo finally solve the kidnapping of Ines Bulletín. While there, they tie together an Onlyfans Officer, a dead decoration, a magical major, and a real life mummy’s curse into a theory about modern witches fighting back against stereotypes. Red String Theories...
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Episode 29: Gearing Up (F-Tier Seasonal Horror Movies)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo get ready for their covert mission with the help of an old guest.. While there, they tie together a GoFundMe gambler, a high-pitched purr, a penalized Popeyes Patron, and an asinine assassination attempt into a theory about a strain of altered catnip that has…
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Episode 28: Scottish Farm (Officer, This Chicken is Drunk and Belligerent)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo investigate the address on the receipt they received in Berlin, which leads them to a Scottish farm house. While there, they tie together the reappearance of Tripod the bear, a clumsy counterfeiter, a chicken on the lam, and a penetrating theme park attraction…
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Episode 27: American-Themed Restaurant (ChatGPT, Show Me Meg Griffin)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo take a break for a meal at the Boot and Scoot Capture Cows with Rope Red White and Blue US American Style Eating Establishment, an American-themed restaurant in Germany. While there, they tie together some railway wrestlers, a moving metropolitan area, a stowaway...
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Episode 26: Art Gallery (The Right to Chop Your Finger Off)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo follow a trail of hoofprints to an art gallery, where Isaac teaches Matteo about art appreciation. While there, they tie together an outhouse spelunker, a library laceration, a senatorial SUV snatch, and a Mormon marital murderer into a theory about a drug...
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Episode 25: German Sex Club (The Denizens of Funk and Underground House DJs)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo investigate Der Grosse Schnitzel, a sex club in Berlin! While there, they tie together a cattle Cadillac, a reindeer wrangling, a homeowner hound, and a brewski-binging bear into a theory about animals’ quest for independence. Red String Theories...
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Episode 24: Chateau Bulletín (Mr. Two Knives)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo visit the home of Pierre Bulletín, who offers them a job! While there, they tie together a Moscato monsoon, a wave runner, an office chair obstacle, and some chicken change into a theory about the second coming of a certain messiah. Red String Theories...
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Episode 23: Limousine (Body of Christ, Charcuterie Style)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are in a super deluxe limousine, on their way to the north of France! While there, they tie together a billionaire bunker, a narcotic neighbor, a gasoline guzzler, and a prosciutto pratfall into a theory about a secret underground bunker that the elites are...
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Episode 22: Paris (There’s Still Time to Delete New Jersey)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo run into an old friend in Paris! While there, they tie together a massive meat missile, a Baghdad blackout, a Power Wheel arrest, and a lottery win into a theory about a high-powered ad exec whose life is going down the tubes. Isaac Hantman-Weill...
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Episode 21: Amsterdam (Foot Guys Need to be Stopped)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are taking a turn around Amsterdam, seeing the sights, and checking out local attractions! While there, they tie together an angler’s wallet, a missing woman, a foot-focused freak, and cost cutting measure into a theory about a human trafficking ring within the...
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Episode 20: Dreamland (Office Worker Becomes GOAT Rapper)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are snooze-a-roozing, but a dream dimension spirit is watching over them! While there, they tie together an indecent interloper, a subway surname, a false fast food worker, and a bogus bear bluff into a theory about the Shakespearian tragedy of a man who lost his...
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Episode 19: Russian Prison (Stuck in a Recursive Cheese Slice Loop)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are locked up in a Russian prison, but their cell mate offers a chance at escape! While there, they tie together a rocky cookie recall, a great escape, a towering cheese sandwich, and a McNugget lawsuit into a theory about covering up civil lawsuit fraud by…
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Episode 18: Murder Train (AI Chatbot's Mental Health Day)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are riding on a luxury train, where someone gets murdered! While there, they tie together an AI for seniors, a hair house, a record-breaking collection, and a race of terror-pigs into a theory about covering up a nuclear disaster. Isaac Hantman-Weill...
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Episode 17: Chernobyl (Ernest Hemingway Was a Woke King)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are running from Russian soldiers through the wilderness of Chernobyl! While there, they tie together an un-aging billionaire, a salaryman alligator, a lookalike contest, and a buttery river into a theory about regenerative genetic experiments gone awry. Isaac...
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Episode 16: First Aid Kit (50% of Ghost Marriages Fail)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are hunkered down inside their first aid kit! While there, they tie together an amphetamine-contaminated steakhouse, a vandalizing mayor, a wallaby on the loose, and spectral scoundrel into a theory about people unknowingly ingesting meth in their Chinese food....
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Episode 15: First Class (This is my Son, Hellmann's)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are in first class, baby! And they're heading home, baby! While there, they tie together a pair of profoundly pitiful police parents, a swarm of urban aphids, a bear beating old lady, and an absentee italian teacher into a theory about an anti-work forum…
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Episode 14: Convenience Store (My Love Language is Cannibalism)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo find a strange machine in a Japanese convenience store, which may be their ticket home! While there, they tie together an obsessive ghosted stalker, a bovine con artist, a change in the Korean counting system, and a donated grenade into a theory about a grifting...
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Episode 13: Haunted Mansion (My Cool Uncle Lesbian Marco)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are trapped in a creepy mansion! While there, they tie together a resurrected woman, a mosaic smuggler, a building climber, and an experiment-ruining janitor into a theory about a Saudi billionaire attempting to assassinate K-Pop stars. Isaac Hantman-Weill...
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Episode 12: Ramen Shop (It's Gotta Be The Jeans!)
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo have made their way to a ramen shop in the Japanese countryside! While there, they tie together a soy sauce lawsuit, a vehicular womb simulation, a fake priest scam, and a velociraptor heist into a theory about a the Japanese tourism board drumming up business....
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Episode 11: The Bush Down Under
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo are left wandering through the Australian outback! While there, they tie together an overrun pig sanctuary, a hockey player/new father, a bear meat vending machine, and an inexplicably green waterway into a theory about a climate activists fighting back against...
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Episode 10: Mutiny on The Crimson Twine
In this episode, after they're rescued from the island, Isaac and Matteo are being kept below deck on a pirate ship! While they're there, they get shwasted on rum, make friends with Captain Corkboard, and tie together a poison cheesecake, a stolen backhoe, a cocaine-filled hotdog, and the oldest...
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Episode 9: Shipwrecked!
In this episode, after their conspiracy theory podcast cruise goes awry, Isaac and Matteo have been marooned on a deserted island! While they're there, they are attacked by seagulls, make friends with a carnivorous cow, and tie together a criminal senior prank, some vengeful orcas, a posthumous...
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Episode 8: Johnny Bigtimes
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together a century-overdue library book, Emmanuel Macron's unruly dog, a 911 call mix-up, and an impossible rental car bill into a theory about Artificial Intelligence keeping the government from regulating self-driving cars. Also, dear friend of the podcast,...
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Episode 7: Can I Get a Run and Tope?
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together an Oregonian mountain with an innapropriate name, an alligator made of sand, a fake stomach full of cocaine, and a silent Canadian dog park into a theory about a drug trafficking route from the ports of Miami all the way to a Nazi cult in the Pacific...
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Episode 6: A Late Night Lunch
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together a pile of abandoned pasta, some dirty mortuary transactions, a suggestive iceberg, a german exhibitionist, a galactic wedding, a lopsided sneaker theft, and an evil hotel clerk into a theory about a Star Wars themed transatlantic trip gone awry.…
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Episode 5: She Seems Guilty, And She's Guilty, But She's Not Guilty.
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together an inexplicably unsolved clownicide, some insecure short kings, an avian summer job, a modern art scandal, a hero seventh grader, and a sing operation gone awry into a theory about an artist becoming a drug kingpin. Isaac Hantman-Weill...
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Episode 4: Come on, Jigsaw
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together a Scandinavian seagull impression contest, some spilled rice, an overachieving college applicant, a ring stealing scoundrel, a contaminated water source, and a sleeper agent baby into a theory about a kid attempting to lure his absentee father into a...
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Episode 3: I Figured It Out
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together an incompetent hitman, an incompentent hitman hirer, a highway philanthropist, a chicken nugget thief, Kanye West's poorly run school, and a cave-dwelling religious zealot into a theory about a pack of hitmen trapped in their hideout. Isaac...
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Episode 2: Yo, Where the Heck is Big?
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together an airborn iguana, some chill as hell carjackers, a stunt pizza from Japan, a dedicated delivery driver, and an unstable German ballet director into a theory about Pizza Hut radicalizing Gen Z-ers with unholy quantities of cilantro. Isaac…
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Episode 1: The League of Morons
In this episode, Isaac and Matteo tie together an inexplicably unsolved Massachusetts murder, some anime convention attendees, a dead body switch, Pablo Escobar's invasive hippos, and a Doordash mummy into a theory about a sinister cabal of idiots controlling the world. Isaac Hantman-Weill...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Every week, your hosts and lifelong best friends, Isaac Hantman-Weill and Matteo Velardo, take a look at five random news stories throughout the week and improvise a crazy conspiracy theory that ties them together.
HOSTED BY
Isaac Hantman-Weill
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Red String Theories have?
Red String Theories currently has 31 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Red String Theories about?
Every week, your hosts and lifelong best friends, Isaac Hantman-Weill and Matteo Velardo, take a look at five random news stories throughout the week and improvise a crazy conspiracy theory that ties them together.
How often does Red String Theories release new episodes?
Red String Theories has 31 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Red String Theories?
You can listen to Red String Theories on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Red String Theories?
Red String Theories is created and hosted by Isaac Hantman-Weill.
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