Revenge Of The 80s Kids

That's it then. Season done. 2021 done. I think we were hoping to be going out on slightly more of a high in this episode. Geek Towers is a thing, our new format is great, we've got our heads around the new tech. We have battled and emerged victorious. Surely we should celebrate? 2022 looks like it could hold a real re-surgence for the 80s Kids, and indeed it could, but there will be some shocking twists and turns in the evolution of the 80s Kids to make this happen. For now, Leo and Ian turn their own view in a different direction. They've been around the "new content" blocks enough times to understand that when they do something new for the folks at home then it has to stick within some fairly rigid existing rules. But is it time to bend some of those rules to breaking point? Very probably. It's going to be an interesting new year people. This week's episode features bedding music Continuum Filter by Data Rebel. The track is licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow the link for more information. Direct Link: hhttps://archive.org/download/metasode-007-one-of-us-doesnt-like-movies/Metasode-007-One-Of-Us-Doesnt-Like-Movies.mp3

I mean this one's a no-brainer, surely? The streaming juggernaut that is Disney+ rumbled onto instant global domination in March 2020 and since then it has wound it's content production up to deliver a series of high-profile body blows to the competition in the form of desirable franchise goodies dripping with loving care and high production values. The pace doesn't seem to be dropping, no, indeed, it's picking up. Everyone should be worried. Actually the two parties who should be worried in particular are the UK's Now TV whose content delivery potential has been stripped back severely losing primary delivery of Disney and Fox content libraries and, of course, Netflix who are now trying to carve out a brand that offers counter-programming to Disney's slate of super-popular franchise fare and edgy drama (on Hulu in the States and inside the Star section of D+ elsewhere). We haven't forgotten Prime Instant Video but Amazon delivers content as an after thought, not as a primary goal, so it seems. Of all these, then, Netflix seems like the one that's in most trouble, Now TV is just an offshoot of a satellite TV provider, Amazon couldn't really care less but Netflix, it has to fight for it's very identity and it can't just be a constant diet of Squid Game, can it? This week's episode features an excerpt of Lo-Moments by Skipless and bedding music Moon Forest (threads version) by 4T Thieves. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/143-netflix-is-screwed/143-Netflix-is-Screwed.mp3

It's way too early for new year's resolutions. That's a fact. But it is in no way too early for home entertainment resolutions, specifically 480p, 576p, 1080p and 4K. This week's show is all about the fact that we find ourselves in a world where home entertainment is available in a number of different flavours, DVD, Blu-Ray and UHD for physical, and then the digital counterparts. Marketing will tell you that you always want the 4K version of everything, after it got done telling you DVD was over and everything had to be in Blu-Ray 1080p To borrow a popular Thor meme   This week the Kids from the 80s assert that Just Like Heaven and the Lego Movie are never going to be better than they are at 576p (which is great but more definition does nothing to improve matters), Big Trouble In Little China and 12 Monkeys definitely look better at 1080p and 4K, well that seems to be a gimmick for Denis Villeneuve movies. Let's not even hunker down and consider how the definition of what even is 1080p varies wildly between a lovingly crafted prestige Blu-Ray and a cheeky Netflix stream, actually no, let's for a second. It's techie week on the 80s Kids and things have never been clearer, or sharper. This week's episode features an excerpt of Speak Easy by DarkSunn and bedding music Lost in dam central vs Exist by Planet Boelex vs Data Rebel. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/142-hi-def-initely-a-weird-time-for-home-media/142%20-%20Hi%20Def-initely%20A%20Weird%20Time%20For%20Home%20Media.mp3

Sometimes, from the ashes of disaster rises a Phoenix of Wonder... Then, sometimes we lose the recording of an entire show and have to come up with something to re-cover the same ground and then Leo gets over-excited and goes off on a tangent. Welcome to Choose Your Own 2013 Within this show those sunny days of the early teenies have been re-formed into a piece of interactive fiction and Ian picks his way carefully through the tricks and traps, all the while trying to work out what films have been referenced along the way. Welcome to 2013 the Adventure Game. This week's episode features an excerpt of The Andromeda Strain by 2 Bone Giants and bedding music Pherek kyson by MigloJE. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/141-escape-from-2013/141-Escape-From-2013.mp3

And Lo, the circle was complete. The Kids from the 80s form an ourobouros this year as they consider the top 10 movies from the year 2013, among other things that drift into our field of view. We are blessed, on the one hand, by the presence of Mr Mike Nudd this week, who is on hand to offer his opinions on that all important 2013 top 10. As we are blessed, however, so are we also cursed upon the other hand for we only had to strong arm a guest appearance because we actually recorded the whole show once and then, like idiots, failed to download the recording in time. Even so, we manage to give the Top 10 of 2013 a thorough kicking in this episode, from Hunger Games to Minion filled animations to Superhero movies galore, we run down the hit parade and marvel that Fast and the Furious 6 was in even as we marvel that Star Trek Into Khanness was out. There's not a lot to surprise here and still fewer giant mechs lamping seven bells out of kaiju and, honestly, that still smarts to this day. This week's episode features an excerpt of Innereyefull - Back Then and bedding music XHD by Aydio. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/140-2013-top-10/140-2013-Top-10.mp3

Following on from last week's Autopsy on all things 2020 we turn to the obvious question. If all the cinemas were shut what did your average cinephile do for entertainment whilst locked up in their homes for several months waiting for an end to the global pandemic? In Ian's case the answer is "not watch much on telly". In Leo's case the answer is: watch a bunch of stuff that was hurled in our general direction as a way of keeping us distracted as the world collapsed outside the window. So, different approaches, very different. But the underlying question is what did all the streaming services actually do with this literally captive audience? What was strewn before us to while away the long hours? How did the movers and shakers entice the idle and bored into their gardens of content? It may not surprise you to learn that the answer is... virtually nothing. As you shall discover, not one of these companies really had the muscle to throw out something seriously arresting, compelling and noteworthy during this time. I guess you just don't have to work as hard when you've got no competition. Oh, well, sigh... best wait on for the cinemas to opern up again. This week's episode features an excerpt of Ego Trippin' by Lo-Fi Scientists and bedding music Mystical Forces by Citizen Crane. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/139-will-just-stop-at-home-thanks/139-will-just-stop-at-home-thanks.mp3

AUDIO QUALITY WARNING: We were using a platform, since abandoned for precisely this and other technical niggles, that, unfortunately, made Ian sound like he was addressing us from the body of a large an empty church (I, Leo, am assuming it was a technical error and not something I need to stage an intervention for). So, sorry about that folks. Honestly, if we'd have screwed up like this on a topic show we probably would have re-recorded. But the autopsy relies on a certain amount of live reaction from the Ian, so we have had to issue as is. We have totally fixed this audio issue in all the rest of the shows in this season. Now, on to the show. 2020, that was a bit of a shock, wasn't it. We recorded a prediction show in Fedbruary and by April it was all moot. But that is not the end of the story. All the films we talked about, slated for release, existed. They had been filmed, they were ready to go. Marvel's Black Widow wasn't just going to disappear into the infinite, it was going to see the light of day at some point. Similarly DC's Wonder Woman. Similarly Fast & Furious 9 and so to the autopsy. We examine the fate of those movies which we predicted for in Feb 2020, a different world. Have the films been released? Where were they released? How much money did they pull in when they did get released? And obviously, what does all of that mean for the future of cinema in our mixed up, disease-riddled world of today? We don't have answers but suffice to say we're retiring the predictions format for a bit. This week's episode features an excerpt of Swag Rag by Riff Kitten and bedding music Everybody Has Another Life by Fodor Balazs. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/episode-138-2020-autopsy/Episode%20138%20-%202020%20Autopsy.mp3

Emerging once more, blinking into the daylight you'd think these things would get easier for the kids from the 80s, but that isn't the case in reality. Fatigued and battered from the global lockdown Leo and Ian have emerged with vastly different takes on the whole experience. Leo, for example, has decided to put classic Revenge shows in a rotator and fire up a 24/7 internet radio station. Ian, has been playing video games and trying not to think about it all too much. It wouldn't have surprised us if the pandemic had finally killed the cast. After all, it has effectively killed, or at least put on brakes, for our most exciting format the summer review and follow up. This season we're going to have to reflect on this stuff before we can go forward into the future. There will be reflection on the season ahead, a quick precis of what's to come, some technical niggles and the unfortunate technical fall out that one of us or other might end up sounding like the booming voice of good in the first two episodes before we sort it all out. So, just an average day for the kids, then? Yeah, pretty much. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/metasode-2-geeks-in-search-of-a-tower/Metasode_%202%20Geeks%20In%20Search%20of%20a%20Tower.mp3

Way back in the dim and distant days of Summer 2020 the 80s Kids decided to maximise their use of lockdown by recording this one 50 minute metasode and then not editing it until lockdown restrictions were largely lifted. You'd have thought that they could use their time with everyone holed up indoors to work on their community building or whatnot, but no, they just holed up with video games and Netflix and waited for everyone to be too busy to require an excess of free entertainment again. So, what's even in the Hotel for Elephants? Well, let's just say the number of guests it had at the time of recording has only grown. There's a lot of big talk in here about backing away from the cast and using our time more productively. And did we do any of it? Well, not in any way like we say we're planning to in the cast, that's for sure. So, really, this is just a moment captured, of where our heads were at after a couple of months of lockdown, when we dreamed medium-sized and ended up achieving little of what we set out to do for many and various reasons but mostly because remote collaboration is pretty hard. This episode uses an excerpt of the Anchor Hill's immense world beat banger "Shake Off the Shackles". The full track can be downloaded here. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/metasode-005-hotel-for-elephants/Metasode%20005%20-%20Hotel%20For%20Elephants.mp3/a>

The title of the show takes a cheap shot at the non-appearance of Bond this April. He's self-isolating from audiences for seven months with a case of Crowdplease Failure Virus (COFAIL-007). The reason for this extensive barrage of text punnage is that when we recorded the show on Feb 15th we thought Bond was a lot of things, tired, over-the-hill, on his last legs but a coward? No, sir, not one of them. Oh, how times have changed. Bond requesting a covert extraction aside the prophecy mill is in full swing as our jaunty adventurers pilot a course from damp aliens, via Jungle Rocks, through the blancmange swamp littered with recently Disney-fied Fox back-catalogue items. Now with added budgetary estimates, will their speculation on how much things cost (or knowledge of where applicable) help or hinder their quest to pick 2020's box office winners and notable losers? It's a tricky year, Marvel are taking a year off, Disney are trying to wrong-foot the oppostion by littering the battlefield with items they found in a lock-up garage formerly owned by Fox. Only one thing's for certain, Fast & Furious 9 is bound to cash in... after that, well, you'd need to be able to predict the future... This episode uses an excerpt of the Anchor Hill's unreasonably groovy "Funk Cabbage". The full track can be downloaded here. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/137summerpredictions2020/137%20-%20Summer%20Predictions%202020.mp3

In the beginning was Superman, and shortly thereafter Tim Burton's Batman. Marvel characters had no movies and the fanboys went without. And Fox brought forth X-Men. And Hugh Jackman probably didn't know how many times he would be called upon to play Wolverine, but the audience loved it, and so the studios saw that it was good. Shortly thereafter Sony brought forth the first Spider-man, Raimi's Spider-man, and, despite being a little bit creepy, generally, he too was deemed to be a good. Sony returned to the Spider-man well twice more, but on the third occasion the well of lucre was poisoned with unnecessary Venom, and the audience did feel that Spider-man 3 was bloated and now Spidey himself was just creepy, and even the Sandman and Hobgoblin could not save the movie from being underwhelming in the extreme. And Raimi did wander in the desert until making Drag Me To Hell, which was more his cup of tea. A very short time following Spider-man 3 Sony attempted to refresh the well. "Lo!" they said unto the audience. "Look thou upon new Spider-man, for he is Amazing!" And the audience did look upon the tall and handsome face of new Spider-man and did say: "Well, maybe not Amazing, but Adequate, definitely." And Sony spake thus: "We cannot call a movie franchise 'The Adequate Spider-man', so we will stick with Amazing." And Sony returned again to the well of lucre, but they did see in the next land that Marvel's well of lucre brought forth the wonders of yon "Cinematic Universe" and they were sore with envy. So when the Adequate... sorry, Amazing Spider-man 2 came forth from Sony's well of lucre it was tainted with envy and mutated by the worn stubs of a failed "Cinematic Universe". Thus did Sony come to Marvel and propose a deal. They offered to return Spider-man (who was just on indefinite loan from Marvel) on a limited basis if they would bless the Spider-man with the water of the "Cinematic Universe". And Marvel did work out the deal with Sony, and they plunged a newly minted Spider-man into a Civil War between the mid-ranking officer of the Americas and the man forged of Iron. The audience did see it and were now Amazed. And Sony and Marvel did turn to the audience and spake thus: "No, this Spider-man is NOT Amazing, he is just Spider-man" and the audience did say: "Well, if you're sure." At home later the audience did in secret speak thusly: "I am confident this Spider-man is more Amazing than the last one." And Spider-man did have his own movie in Marvel's "Cinematic Universe" which they did call "Homecoming" and Sony gritted their teeth, for the well of lucre did flow. And Spider-man partook in the Infinity War and survived the Endgame of those who Avenge, finally he found himself "Far From Home" and the well of lucre was bountiful for both Marvel and Sony. But Sony, once more overconfident and partaking of the iffy Venom, did snatch back the Spider-man. Marvel offered unto Sony a couple of possible deals but Sony declared them to be not good enough. The fandom saw this sundering of the "Cinematic Universe" and there was wailing, and gnashing of teeth. But Sony did not immediately back down. They spoke to the people and said: "Did we not deliver an averagely good Venom movie? And did we not also deliver unto thee 'Into The Spiderverse' which was much better than anyone expected?" And the people did accept this, but they did not wholly believe Sony could pull this off and they were sore afraid that the next Spider-man movie would be a big pile of poo. Lo! Marvel did offer another bag of money unto Sony, and they also passed secrets amongst themselves. And suddenly Spider-man was back in the "Cinematic Universe" and some people were even a bit disappointed because they had wanted to see what Sony would do. The stout ones, those Kids from the 80s watched upon all of this and shook their ancient heads. "Spider-man should literally be a license to print money," spake Ian. "I know." spake Leo. "People trivialise genre, but it is a lot harder and more complicated than it looks." And Martin Scorsese said nothing further. This episode uses an excerpt of Bongo Avenger by Eric & Ryan Kilkenny Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/136whyinthespiderverseisgenresohard/136-Why-in-the-Spiderverse-is-genre-so-HARD.mp3

When this episode was just a glint in the eye of the 80s kids we were aware that the "Joker" movie existed and that there was some "buzz" associated with the property. When we recorded the episode Joker was still a couple of months from general release. So, that will explain why we miss the opportunity of discussing how irrelevant Batman has become to Batman related properties. After the Dark Knight rose we, of course, got Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Irrelevance, a guest spot in Suicide Squad, and then, inexorably we went towards "Justice League". Ben Affleck got the filthy end of that particular stick and no mistake whatsoever. Suicide Squad, in fact, represents the last time to date that a movie has actively tried to pull eyeballs by mentioning the presence of one caped crusader. Of course, there's the Lego Batman movie... but does that really help? Add into the mix the presence of a non-verbal Bats in Teen Titans Go To The Movies and the proud absence of bat iconography emblazoned upon the face of popular TV epic Gotham and a pattern begins to emerge. You thought, no doubt, that Batman was waiting in the shadows, ready to strike at any time. Now you're beginning to suspect that those shadows are bat free and you're locked up all alone with the cowled one's gallery of sociopathic opposition. Who will save you? The 80s Kids? Nah, mate, we're just here to discuss matters and confirm that you, like Batman, are probably screwed. This episode uses an excerpt of Chant Of Night Blades by Kai Engel Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/135batmanisscrewed/135-Batman-Is-Screwed.mp3

The idea of the "Part 2" year shows, in what is still referred to as the "new format" even though we've been rocking it for two years and three seasons, is to look at key movies in that year and say: "Hey, there was some definite 80s influence there". And in 2012 we have a couple of proud examples of how that 80s mood was embraced and reflected upon 22 years after the 80s closed its doors and slung us all into the neon-lit, over-excited street carnival of the 90s. And once we've mopped the rose-tinted tears of joy from our eyes over fascist future cops and ironic cabin zombies we can begin to cry a different way, because we then get to talk about Looper. Don't misunderstand, we know that many people really love Looper and think it's clever and amazing. Leo and Ian are not two of those people. Indeed the glee with which Ian embraces the idea of working over a Rian Johnson movie is, maybe, a little unseemly. As his steel-toe capped commentary heaps in on the mishy-mashy time travel drivel you can hear him repeatedly whispering: "This is for Luke, you barstool." Or something like that. Leo has less skin in that game but still, has to agree, a master storyteller Mr. Johnson ain't, and having now sat through the Levitt-Willis funtime shotgun hour (and a half) twice in order to confirm exactly how much he disliked it he's not letting it go this time. Anyway, the question may occur, why watch Looper and talk about it if you don't like it. Well, it where's it's wannabe Philip K Dick creds like some kind of badge of honour, when really it just reminds you how good Blade Runner etc. really were in comparison. Loops? Where we're going we don't like loops. Let us count the ways. This episode uses an excerpt of Electrodomestico by The Coconut Monkeyrocket Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1342012thecabinofloopingdredd/134-2012-the-cabin-of-looping-dredd.mp3

There are two ways to look at the Top 10 movies of 2012 for franchise fans there was a total buffet of above-par iterations of their absolute faves. The first big-screen MCU crossover event dominated, of course, but then the Anniversary Bond was snapping at its heels with the Dark Knight rising to put in a creditable third helping before the DCCU well... you know. Then there's the rest of the list... The Hobbit, lumpy and grumpy and overstuffed. Ice Age and Madagascar for the kids, isn't that tantamount to neglect? The Twilight franchise delighted millions around the world, by ending. Spider-man was maybe just a touch too Amazing. There were 3 Men In Black, although two of them were the same and there was some timey-wimey stuff and well, then everyone fell asleep, by themselves, not because of some weird flashlight. Although, I have to say I still wonder if MiB3 was just a hallucination brought on by a gas leak. Nestled in amongst this volley of re-boots, crossovers, sequels, warmed-over-bull-doody and completely unnecessary and unwanted disappointments was the upstart Hunger Games franchise opener. It was a time when many people could legitimately say they wanted to rock up to a movie about kids given weapons and told to jolly well murder one another and still say "What the hell's that" when you offer to put on Battle Royale. 2012, with a few notable exceptions, was a bit of a hot mess at the top end, but, at the same time, it was a glorious year for cinema. No wonder people were too confused to make Dredd the box office success it should have been. More on which next week... This episode uses an excerpt of Raindrops by Predator Technique Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1332012top10avengersbanethatfellfromthesky/133-2012-Top-10-Avengers-Bane-That-Fell-From-The-Sky.mp3

We're unsure which of the multiple dismal Netflix Original SF movies pushed this button, but their roster of misfires definitely made the penny drop. The outburst goes something along the lines of: "Oh come on! What are they even doing, this isn't proper Science Fiction like The Matrix, or 2001, what are they trying to achieve?". Then, of course, you think: "Mind you, 2001 is a bit... slow. But The Matrix? Ah, there's the stuff. Good old Matrix. Sequels drifted a bit of course, but, still, The Matrix. And Predestination. That's a good one, although time travel... isn't that technically more a sort of philosophical fantasy?" That's where it starts to unravel, Pi? Mathematical fantasy. Cube? Kafka-esque social commentary. Primer? More time-travel whimsy. What movie is *really* pure science fiction. Of course, in both The Matrix and 2001 we have AI and we don't really know how that would work, but we have more of an idea than time-travel. How does paradox work? No one knows, and no-one in our lifetime is ever likely to know. Eventually, you have to entertain the possibility that SF and film will never have the same happy relationship as, say, spy thrillers and film, or romance and film, or high fantasy and film, or, of course, superheroes and film. The fact is Science Fiction is like an ingredient to a story in some other genre rather than a happy genre by itself. Core SF texts don't really care about character as much as they do ideas, and film needs characters in order to live and breathe. If you can have a spoiler for a discussion then watch out, because we come up with precisely zero answers for this proposition but we do give it a bit of a kicking. Whether we come back to the topic is down to whether anyone cares to opine whether we're "Wrong on the Internet" about this one. Time will tell, but SF is never going to be happy at the movies. Change our minds. This episode uses excerpts of User Friendly by Lee Rosevere Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/episode132somethingwhiffyaboutskiffy/Episode%20132%20-%20Something%20Whiffy%20About%20Skiffy.mp3

You found the battered VHS tape in a trunk stored in the cabin's basement. There was a lock on the clasp but the lid had rotted allowing you access to the variety of mouldy junk within. With shaking fingers you reach out to push the tape's spine into the old VCR, you feel the smooth raised surface of the word "GROOVY" written in office white-out along the space where a label should be. The tape begins... "Hi, I'm Leo and this is Ian and we have been researching urban legends, specifically this one about the so-called 'Hero From The Sky'. The legend relates that if you say the words 'Chuck Finley' into a mirror three times a man in leather pants with a dubious beard will come to your house and crash on your sofa for a week..." You have heard the legend yourself, but you've never been brave enough to so much as whisper the name of the unspeakable god of B-Movie schlock. What would happen should you succeed? What if he arrives in his other guise as OAP Elvis? What if he likes your place so much he parks a trailer on your front lawn and fills your attic with dead-ites? Sure, you're a fan, but are you really THAT much of a fan? This episode uses excerpts of Town Braggart by John Bartmann Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/131talesofthefandomchinabrucecampbellretrospective/131%20-%20Tales%20of%20the%20Fandom%20Chin%20-%20A%20Bruce%20Campbell%20Retrospective.mp3

As inevitable as the mighty finger-snap of Thanos the summer could only really belong to one mighty movie, and sure enough that was it. But, for the parent of that box-office juggernaut, Avengers Endgame, taking home the 1st place prize wasn't nearly enough. Indeed, even we were surprised by the absolute bucket load of cash the mouse has managed this summer. Outside of Scrooge McDuck's money bin it's been a rum old summer and no mistake. Virtually no action movies, way too many family movies, so much content that had release dates planned in February was bounced to later dates. If you were in the US movie business and your studio name didn't rhyme with Biz Knee then you weren't getting a big bite of the box office this summer, to be fair, it didn't even look as though you were really trying. The big question is not what happened but what does what happened actually mean for the future. People have been prophesying a disney-fied dystopia in the multiplexes and we're a couple of summers away from that being the world we live in. But is a dystopia filled with lovingly crafter Marvel movies, affectionately made Pixar animations and, er, endless live-action do overs of beloved classic animations really such a bad thing... Okay, maybe the last one could stand some work but, hey, nobody's perfect. Come and discover the monetary implications of the coming cinematic world and, like us, you will be amazed. This episode uses an excerpt of the Coconut Monkeyrocket's supberb "Illogical Boogie". The full track can be downloaded here. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1302019summerreviewdisneywins/130-2019-Summer-Review-Disney-Wins.mp3

So, here we are, several months later and a season of content wiser. You haven't heard that, of course, but you're about to. We stand at a great crossroads, confident that we have done all we can to tie down the format and present something that gives food for thought. We are, I think it is fair to say, proud of this season of content. Not that we aren't proud of Rot80sK's back catalogue and the great work it represents. The upcoming season is, if anything, a consolidation of everything we have been accidentally into something purposeful. Only one question remains, do the listeners like it? Revenge of the 80s Kids was always something we did for fun, and it kind of still is. The big split is whether we do something else for fun or if the Revenge audience can add that dash of special sauce that keeps us rolling into the future. We'd like to do more Revenge, but not on the current "howling into the void" model. If that's all that's on offer we may well do something else instead. What would that be? Well, we have some ideas. We've tried to pull something together whilst simultaneously committing to regular seasons of Revenge, that hasn't worked. It may be that we need to put Revenge on hiatus to get something else done. Everything is in the hands of you, the audience at this stage. Further explanation, and a full preview of the upcoming season in the metasode... Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/rot80skmetasode/Rot80sK%20-%20Metasode.mp3

Welcome, welcome, friends, and thank you for stopping by. You find the Kids from the 80s in reflective mood, for, hark, 'tis another Metasode, i.e. not an episode but, rather, a show ABOUT the show. We like to keep our navel gazing compartmentalized away from the main strand. This is so you can skip it if you only came here for the show and not to hear us waffle on about what we're planning or thinking about the show itself. On this occasion, however, we would urge you ON NO ACCOUNT SKIP THIS EPISODE, or its companion, due out at some point after all the fuss about Europe has died down in Leo's neck of the woods. For, you see, we come to begin contemplating the very nature of the show itself in this two parter. As we begin we lament the lack of interaction we have with listeners. We opine that maybe our content production focus should change to accomodate a new form of 80s kids content. Nostalgia for the 80s is fine and all, but as we have discovered, it doesn't appear to draw people in. So, we've considered what we might like our audience to be, as we have no idea. In this show we outline our plan for the content for the rest of the year in "vague mode". In part two we will inform you of the menu of delights that will form up the remainder of the content for 2019. In the meanwhile, why not check out our social media page on facebook, if you haven't already. Interim updates will be coming via that medium for the time being. If you get involved it might even chivvy Leo and Ian into action and get that sweet, sweet content piped to your earholes even sooner. This episode uses excerpts of Prazdniny (Vacation) by John Bartmann Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/M003HowWeReNotCriticsPartOne/M-003-How-We_re-Not-Critics-Part-One.mp3

We are the 80s Kids and we predict the future. It's that time again. Summer is upon us, has been since early Feb according to the studios, and the Kids have to play their game of picking the Box Office winners from the various genres as well as pointing out the notable losers and just generally giving everyone a heads up on the major players coming out this summer. The lack of major global sporting events leads to a less "doughnutty" distribution schedule this year. There's a steady stream of interesting items on the way. Even so, there's some curve balls and obvious bad ideas that things are still interesting. Hollywood has not, as yet, cracked the "good enough" level where every movie released is obviously going to appeal to someone. So, let's do a quick reconnoitre of the upcoming Summer and see what else is out apart from that Avengers movie, a Fast and Furious spin off and a thousand Disney "live action" remakes. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/129SuperheroesWinAgainSummerPredictions2019/129-Superheroes-Win-Again-Summer-Predictions-2019.mp3

Has it come to this? The 80s Kids have never done a Star Wars show before, and now they are doing one it's one about this... and things were looking so good a couple of years back. Round about the time of Rogue One the future of the galaxy far, far away (or the past as it was, a long time ago) looked rosy, the new owners of Lucasfilm were feeling their way into their new acquisition and appeared to be making many of the right noises. A couple of movies later and it's all gone to pot, however. How could it all have gone so wrong? And is there anything to be done to fix matters? The 80s Kids pull on their blancmange resistant shoes and wade into the mire of poor decision making and awkward problem-solving that has resulted in Star Wars being a thing that Star Wars fans are feeling it hard to care about any more. Oh, the misery! Oh, the sadness! Internet message boards are still full of posts that say: "Discovery doesn't feel like Star Trek but I'm watching it anyway" but equally are they full of "Star Wars still exists but I am finding it hard to give a crap". When we recorded Star Trek is Screwed little did we know that it's flashier cinematic rival would soon be in worse shape. Let's send 80s Kids Season 3 into its slumber until Christmas with a consideration of how the whole business just appears to have gone, well, totally Jar Jar. This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/305StarWarsIsScrewed/3-05-Star-Wars-is-Screwed.mp3

If you tuned in last week then you'll get the picture here right away. 2011 was a year that, cinematically, mostly happened around the edges. Nothing in the Top 10 was breaking new ground or enticing the keen movie-goer with more than the promise that you were getting something where you knew what it was. All the action was happening outside of the big box office. Maybe part of this was down to the death of wave-1 3D where 3D was slapped onto everything whether it warranted it or not and a few titles, Drive Angry I'm looking at you, were only released cinematically in 3D for no good reason whatsoever. Thankfully, however, where the 80s nostalgia was strong, 3D was seen as an unnecessary distraction from all the AWESOME 80s ACTION. At least, that's how we're choosing to read it. In some ways the 80s wasn't so strong with 2011, a Conan reboot attempt, a Fright Night remake, a Footloose remake and the prequel to The Thing makes a solid if unremarkable effort. But then we did get a Margaret Thatcher biopic thrown in the mix and, despite not being genre, that makes a solid 80s foundation to show the decade where all the best movies happened is still present in spirit. In a way, though, the very best 80s stuff was in the films that hadn't forgotten the spirit of the 80s whether that be in the robot karate kid form of Real Steel, the Eddie Murphy starring heist in the tower or the "Yoot On Bikes" alien invasion comedy Attack the Block. Whichever way you slice it the spirit of the 80s was strong in 2011 and that's just the way we kids like it. This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3042011Part2/3-04-2011-Part-2.mp3

It's 1-Star Reviews all around this week as we look at the top ten movies of 2011 and it's not the world's most inspiring list, filled with franchise bloat and soaked through with sequel sogginess. There are a couple of gems and some fun times, but, for the most bankable movies of any year, the general picture is pretty sad. Smurfs, Transformers, Muscle Cars, more sodding sparkly vampires, it's enough to make you want to drink, drink, drink until oblivion takes you, only to wake up the next day in some unknown location with no hair and a leopard in the bedroom. And yet, we didn't, and neither did anyone we know. All in all 2011 appeared, upon the surface of it, to be a pretty enjoyable year for movies, certainly the upcoming summer of 2013, infamous as the "Summer of Various Disappointments" had more to be glum about, so what gives? It would appear that the masses were swayed towards big, solid, bankable, critic-proof franchise fare, which is fine and fair enough when you're talking martial arts pandas, talking cars or super spies who may, or may not, be getting on a bit now. But the wonderful thing about 2011 is that it allowed us to have our own dreams, there were many smaller, non-top ten movies that filled in the aching void of hunger for something a bit more substantial. Great, Leo managed to get through that whole set up blurb without mentioning Captain America or Thor. Now to move on to next week, where he won't be mentioning them either. This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License EDITOR'S NOTE: At one point in this episode Leo boldly proclaims that Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor made x "thousand" dollars at the box office, he, of course, meant x "million" dollars but failed to catch his own mistake. I have covered it up as seamlessly as I can, hope no one notices... Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3032011Part1/3-03-2011-Part-1.mp3

It is the weird time, the time of long shadows, where the cold bites harder, above the ragged fingers of blackish clouds claw at the bone-white surface of the moon. It is the time of bizarre happenings, of disquieting omens and of throwback 80s nostalgia weird fiction that you can binge watch on a popular streaming service. Grabbing the chance as the kids whizz by (you know, on their bikes) those other kids, the ones from the 80s mull over the new hotness of all things 80s throwback. Is the current fad any more than that? Are kids on bikes integral to the vibe? Are these artefacts true to the era, or just fluffy (if tentacly) nostalgia for the time of the 80s? Does any of this matter if we're all having a good time? Taking in the sights along the way the 80s kids stroll, unaided by human-powered bi-pedal assistance, through the cultural thicket, and wonder what happened to the good old family weird fiction movie of yore. Has the double whammy of IT and Stranger Things created the illusion of a new phase of the 80s culture revival, or is there more to be gained in the future from the neon past of the Goonies, the Monster Squad and, of course, Explorers? This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/302HalloweenSpecialStrangerKids/3-02-Halloween-Special-Stranger-Kids.mp3

So the time of reckoning has come once more unto the kids from the 80s. It was a summer of blockbuster box office but also some bluster and blocked profits for titles that surely should have been bankable even though they were... erm... going solo. We ruminate for the mandatory amount of time about Sci Fi shenanigans, underwhelming dinos, overwhelming Star Wars ennui and purple dudes with universe-altering bling. But we are the 80s kids, and we are disciplined so on we trot in good time. Horror movies, kids movies, comedies, how did they fare in the summer of 2018, well, a hell of a lot better than your straight action thriller, that's for certain. As we ruin the Quiet Place with our noise and moan about the annoying rabbit we have to wonder, will Joe Carnahan ever get a break? In the comedies it would appear to be all about those Crazy, Rich Asians, leading to a question about whether things are as questionable as we first thought if they're making bank at the box office. One thing's for certain the summer of 2018 had its ups and its downs but Action Point still didn't make any money. This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/301SummerRoundUp2018/3-01-Summer-Round-Up-2018.mp3

Hey, regular fans! This is by way of an explainer for people joining us on anchor.fm where we're also going to be releasing future casts. Welcome Anchor-ites to the land of the 80s Kids. This isn't one of our real podcasts and, as you can see from the 2 in the title, isn't even the first "Not An Episode" of our little endeavour. If you want explanations of what the heck we're on about then this is what this "not an episode" has in spades. If you want a "real" episode of 80s Kids goodness then you might want to check back here next week. Until then you can head over to our Facebook page or our archive (link on our profile description) to get all Revenged up in the meanwhile. This episode uses Excerpts of Coconut Monkeyrocket's Juicy Jungle and John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, both available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/300AnchorMetasode/3-00-Anchor-Metasode.mp3

Indeed it is, and has been for so long that the title of this episode has been baking since 2013 when Ian first suggested it. Things weren't much better then, when Ian thought of the idea because a certain Time Lord's 50th Anniversary was coming up. The Doctor had bunting in his Tardis, cake and a War Doctor incarnation played by John Hurt to celebrate. At almost the same time Star Trek was coming up to its 50th. What did Kirk et al. get? A re-sequel of a re-boot and then forgotten for a couple of years. Then, like a zombie a second sequel to the re-boot came along as well as a shiny new series unavailable except via extortion in the country of its birth. Star Trek did not have the best birthday or aftermath of birthday. Has it ever been thus? The plug was pulled on Classic Star Trek but it wouldn't die, resurrected in the girdle-clad flesh to shamble on to cinema screens in competition with Star Wars. Then brought back to television and it seemed the rough years were over. Until, three patchy spin offs down the line, we crashed headlong into the shuffling embarrassment of awkwardness that was Enterprise, along with the crushingly awful Nemesis and that appeared to be it. But you shouldn't count your tribbles until they've been to the vet for neutering (no, seriously). There was the reboot, which was delayed in release so long it looked like it might just get shelved and then... well, here we are, spore drives and a movie franchise that may, possibly, have flatlined. Is this any way to run a Space Federation? Join the 80s kids in their final show for this season and let the moaning commence. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/206StarTrekEditFinal/2-06-Star-Trek-Edit-Final.mp3 This episode features an excerpt from Cutting To The Chase by the outstanding Kai Engel.

In a pleasing moment of serendipity 2010 loved the 80s almost as much as the old men who were children during it. So out came a rehash of Clash of The Titans, an attempted reboot of everyone's favourite car waxing tutorial, and, who could forget The A Team? Turns out nearly everyone has forgotten the A Team, including us, so we re-discover this neglected gem. And also consider the duo of sequels to 80s properties nestled away in here. Predators seeks to supplant Predator 2 as a sequel to Arnie's jungle based testosterfest, thankfully, this isn't Highlander, so although it fails to top the Danny Glover sequel it nestles comfortably in the Predator canon awaiting the next entry until someone can think of something more to add that doesn't suck (looks toward September, looks away again). And how can we ignore Tron Legacy? Well, we can't, in fact, we haven't on several occasions in the podcast. This most troublesome movie has grown from frustrating failure to flawed classic before our eyes. How much more 80s could you get than a zero to hero story that involves Jeff Bridges and synthesizers as key components? Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/205ClashOfThe80sRebootLightcycleTeam/2-05-Clash-Of-The-80s-Reboot-Lightcycle-Team.mp3

And so we pick up our knapsacks and alpenstocks once more, emerge from the lodge at the foot of "Mount Teenies" and wander purposefully into the 2010 foothills. We have aged since our impetuous youth pressed us into devoting a whole show to just one year. In the 80s that was achievable, in the 90s we were keen to be all done as quickly as possible, but then there were the noughties... my, didn't they have a lot to offer? Cramming one noughtie into a single show nearly killed us on more than one occasion and so, we have changed the format. In the teenies each year shall get two shows. The first considering the year's biggest money-makers and the second moving on to what we like to describe as "Key Texts" and what you may like to describe as "The 80s Kids trying to give the 80s credit for everything". In this show, therefore, we will consider the top 10 highest grossing movies of 2010, so Iron Man 2 was bound to crop up. Following on from that big obvious heap of MCU stuff what else do we have? Well, there's a lot of stuff for the kids! But... with How To Train Your Dragon, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One, Toy Story 3 and Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland your kids may need cheering up. Thankfully we also have Tangled, Despicable Me and Shrek Forever After to fall back on. So there should be at least one thing to make the children happy, even though there are a greater number of things to make them depressed and anxious. Grown Ups, on the other hand, got... well... Inception. That's the only thing in the top 10 not specifically chiefly marketed at people under 30. The only other entry being a Twilight Movie. Oh, yes, about that. We make a hasty assurance in this episode that leads us to hope, fervently, that we don't get too many listeners who are that bothered about Twilight. Let's move on. Quickly... very, very quickly. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/204DreamingOfDepressedChildrenAndTheWarMachine/2-04-Dreaming-Of-Depressed-Children-And-The-War-Machine.mp3

As we may, possibly, have remarked, we are the 80s Kids, and as we further may have mentioned, we predict the future. We only mention the former because no one knows who we are. We only mention the latter because, like latter-day Cassandras, no-one listens to our prophecies, so the only ones wigged out when they come to pass is us. It should be pointed out, to be fair, that we're a bit like those Cylons wired up in bathtubs from new BSG, parsing out our spooky visions of the future is rendered impossible because of the surrounding word salad, most of the time. This is our annual attempt to actually focus on the predictions at hand, a breakdown of what we consider to be the likely winners and losers in Summer 2018. It's no surprise that Superheroes are back at the cinema this summer, enough of them to get their own category, but what's the point of speculating on those, really? SF and Fantasy, on the other hand, asks us to nominate Solo or more Jurassic World, among a smorgasbord of other delights. In the world of action, it looks like it's all about Skyscraper and MI: Fallout. Then it gets tricky, can one really pick apart a slate of comedies including Game Night, Life of the Party and Super Troopers 2? Family movies wave the big shinies of Incredibles 2 and Hotel Transylvania 3 in our direction, but all of this may lead one to wonder WTF happened to a variety of entertainment, sure Avengers, Solo, Rampage and the Stath punching a Megalodon are all amusing, but where are the zingers and shouldn't there be a minion in here somewhere? Summer predictions, either they seem easy or they quite blatantly tell you they're impossible to pick. Let's see how the 80s Kids get on with this mess, shall we? Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/203WeAreThe80sKids2018SummerPredictions/2-03-We-Are-The-80s-Kids-2018-Summer-Predictions.mp3

Technical snafus, out of context Justin, gentlemen having problems, not being able to do things... anymore, these are all the things that made the 80s Kids a beloved, nay, tolerated, nay, largely ignored, cultural artefact of the latter years. But are audiences still into the authentic 80s Kids vibe? Or do they crave the great 80s Kids flavour without all that calorific canon weighing them down? Only one way to be sure: REBOOT! But can this really be a reboot? After all, this is labelled episode 119, Leo and Ian still bicker away at the podcast's core and someone called Justin occasionally chips in with a relevant or interesting tidbit. The theme tune has not been reworked, the format is mostly similar. Are these jokers trying to give us a continuation dressed up as a reboot? Is it enough that their eye is, most certainly, fixed on the franchise? It would appear that the only answer is for us to pull on our reboots and trample all over the reboots of latter times, The A Team, Batman Begins, Spider-man (twice!), Ghostbusters, Terminator and that ever present Vin Diesel Problem. The complicated and confusing world of reboots is bound to get the 80s Kids to venture into choppy waters this week. Let's hope that this podcast pays adequate respects to the podcasts that went before whilst offering new hope for growth and development in the future, shall we? Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/202RebootsEditFinal/2-02-Reboots-Edit-Final.mp3

We have established that Ghostbusters, Back To The Future, The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Gremlins, Aliens, The Lost Boys, The Terminator, Blade Runner, Conan The Barbarian, Brazil, Predator, Commando, Return of the Living Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street, Explorers, The Goonies, Robocop and dozens of other great moments in cinema took place in the 1980s. But does that mean the 80s were necessarily a better time for pop culture than any before or since? You cannot deny the 70s, the 00s and, sigh, even the 90s had their moments, but can it be true that in the 80s even the low points were higher? Is that a matter for ultimate aesthetic truth? Or is it just a bunch of grumpy old men crying into their Back to the Future trilogy box sets about past glories? As the All-New, All-Retro 80s Kids are determined to make the bright future pay homage to the neon-tinted age of shoulder pads it is absolutely vital that they ask "Why are we so obsessed with the 80s?" with the rise of Stranger Things and synthwave it may seem that we're not alone, but is all just the future glimpsed through Rowdy Roddy Rose tinted spectacles? Or does the 80s truly live again? Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/20180sNostalgiaEditFinal/2-01-80s-Nostalgia-Edit-Final.mp3 This episode features an excerpt from Whisper of Night Streets by the estimable Eva Schlegel.

Regular listeners to our show may be forgiven for having been sitting in the living room, worried sick, counting flowers on the wall, smoking cigarettes (health risks notwithstanding) and watching Captain Kangaroo (on DVD obviously). Now, here we come, bedraggled, the worse for wear, our key scratching at the lock, our clompy boots not the best for tiptoeing through this house of lies. We make our way, whispering in urgent tones, clearly assigning the blame for our misadventures amongst ourselves. And then we catch the eye of the listener, stone faced, curlers in hair, dressing gown cinched too tightly. We realise, the jig is up. We are going to have to explain where we've been since October 2015. Okay, yes, fine we can bring the regular listener a bouquet of 2018 Summer Predictions, we can promise to do better in the future, but the damage is done. The rgular listener was thinking that we'd succumbed to podfade out there, and yet, here we are with all our 80s nostalgia, and year shows, like nothing happened. The regular listener knows that Ian hates talking about our real lives, but this is a special exception. So, we settle down for this "Not an Episode" Metasode of the 80s Kids that seeks to begin setting expectations for the years ahead. After that, maybe we can get back to business, almost, as usual. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Metasode1SeasonOfThe80sKids/Metasode-1-Season-Of-The-80s-Kids.mp3 This episode features an excerpt from Nuevo Chanson by the excellent John Bartmann.

It's the most magical time of the year! Yes, that's right, Hallowe'en and not any other holiday at all. So what better time for the 80s Kids to group together and chew the fat over all things grisly, not to say gristly. So join Leo Scaryclown, Ian Curdlewell and Justin Why-god-whyatt for a discussion of that titan of modern horror: Stephen King. From Carrie to Kingdom Hospital, from Pennywise the Clown to a bunch of sentient trucks we're taking a look at one of the central figures of modern horror. You may be amazed at just how much pop culture has King's trademark tropes shot through it. We'll be asking all the vital questions like how come there's so much of this stuff? And why are most film adaptations bizarre, mediocre or both. Let's take a Stand, gather in our Dark Tower and enter the Dead Zone. It's Four To Midnight and some joke about the Shawshank Redemption that misses the mark by a Green Mile. Hoo boy, that's one hell of a Creepshow on the Graveyard Shift. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/117HalloweenSpecialKingMe/117-halloween-special-king-me.mp3

Six months ago they who shall be known as the 80s Kids made their summer predictions. They picked the movies that they believed would do the business at the box office and grab the summer movie dollar. Now comes the time of the Predictoreckoning! Were they on the money? Or were they hopelessly out of touch? Did they find the gobbliest turkey? Did they unearth a surprise gem? Tune in to find out! Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1162015SummerReviewLIVEish/116-2015-summer-review-LIVEish.mp3

Is it that time already? Lo, brother (and/or sister) it is late and the candle has burned low. Over three decades and twenty-six alphanumeric symbols later the time has come to rest. When we started this crazy show two and a bit years ago we could not have dreamed of how little anyone would care or how few people would listen. It truly has been an epic poke in the eye for the principle of the cream rising to the top. Not that I'm saying there was much intellectual value in this enterprise. In this last episode Leo, keeping up his brash know-it-all smug superiority states that it was Daedalus that rolled a rock to the top of a hill in Greek mythology. Clearly it was Sisyphus. Daedalus got away scot free after acting like a massively amoral smug git for his entire life. And what did Sisyphus do really? Well, loads of terrible things as it goes. What was my point? Yes, that's it, even at the last all the tropes are here, opening skit with fabulous production values, gentlemen we have a problem, Leo sounds like a know-it-all and then gets things horribly wrong, Justin leaves the cast halfway through due to other commitments... oh no, wait, that didn't happen. We missed one off the checklist. That's it, the finale is ruined. So, listen to the 80s Kids discuss sharks and when things jump over them, other things this podcast could have been called, and why we'll be lurking in corners where you'll never know if we're going to pounce. These are the last minutes of the 80s Kids Revenge, and they're the weirdest minutes you're likely to hear all week. TTFN! Incidental music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/115LookingForwardToFarewell/115-looking-forward-to-farewell.mp3

Oh how the years have flown by, and so it is like letters of the alphabet so are the days of our lives. The 80s Kids have bested three and a half decades of genre cinema and they're not going to let the weird end of the alphabet get them down. It's a three-of-four week so you can also speculate as to whether anyone will have picked a 'W'. X-citement will surely build to X-cruciating levels before, X-position being what it is the X-hausting truth will be X-posed. Y? You may ask. Y all the terrible puns? Y ask Y when we ask Y not? After all it's our second to last chance so Y not cut loose and enjoy ourselves. Finally we tackle the perennial problem of zombies. After all in TUV we talked about their charming bloodsucker counterparts. Do our movie monster choices have much to do with American politics? Well, there's only one way to find out the answer, and it will be one hell of a story. Incidental music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/114The80sKidsABCOfCinemaWXYZ/114-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-WXYZ.mp3

Gosh it seems like it's taken us a long time to get here. Which is BECAUSE IT HAS! Two and a bit years is a long time in anyone's book. If someone had put you in a box and buried you for that long you'd jolly well know about it by now... or maybe you wouldn't. Anyway, here we are. The 80s Kids faves of the 00s are about to be known by one and, indeed all. The implication of this is that with a little careful re-examination of the archive you could build some kind of Uber List of 80s Kids top movies from the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s. That's a lot of favourite movie action there people. Anyway, now you're back after your impromptu film festival of the last four decades(ish) of cinema I have to tell you that you missed up to 8 important movies. Yes, you, you're always running off to do stuff without thinking it through. The 80s Kids, and there are four of them, have two movies each yet to disclose. You went off to watch the rest and left these ones out. So you'd better sit down right now and listen to this podcast because only then will your life be complete*. Incidental music by incompetech.com *This may not actually happen. But it's a good podcast. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/113The80sKidsTop5OfThe00sFaceOffPartTwo/113-the-80s-kids-top-5-of-the-00s-face-off-part-two.mp3

You know the drill people, we start with 5 films, all withheld from each other's knowledge. We countdown from 5 to 3 taking turns to reveal our picks. Simultaneous choices could lead to harmonious joy or social awkwardness. Who knows which way it will go. Leo's pretty confident that he won't be interfering with anyone else's picks in the first part of the countdown. Sue believes she hasn't picked anything that other people will have gone for. Ian and Justin are both more wary. Will there be upsets? Harmony? Discord? Social Awkwardness? A rapidly shoehorned in Shia Lebeouf monster? There's only one way to find out! ... Yes... that's listen to the podcast. What did you think I meant? Hum. Okay, why would I have meant that? You need help. Incidental music provided as ever by Incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/112The80sKidsTop5OfThe00sFaceOffPartOne/112-the-80s-kids-top-5-of-the-00s-face-off-part-one.mp3

It's all getting a bit wild as we come to the end of the alphabet. Sure, T is a reasonably well behaved letter but U and V? Not many choices there... something will have to be done. To deal with the crossed T up front. Leo feels like a life on the ocean wave could get eerily repetitive. Ian needs to go, quickly. And Justin's going to head straight for the toy cupboard and dig out an exciting musical with loads of top quality acting talent. After that though, it's wild card time, expect the Unusual, the Unorthodox, the Unbelievable and, in a bizarre twist a possibility of Unicorn Umbrellas. Perhaps best to calm down and take a nap. As long as the room where you do so is fixed up with garlic on the sills and an excellent south facing aspect. Sonar confusing noise-emitters might also prove a boon. You could put a crucifix over the bed but I'm not sure they're still in fashion. V is for Vampire and we're going to round the show off by posing the question what makes a good vampire flick? Incidental music, as always, by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/111The80sKidsABCOfCinemaTUV/111-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-TUV.mp3

The 80s Kids finally run out of road, chronologically speaking, this week as they arrive at their stated destination of 2009. This being the objective of their quest from the beginning. You would expect a chequered flag, a ribbon to break, champagne, fireworks. Instead, and rather predictably, they just find a load of inconvenient questions... Where does one file "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"? Was it a good year to be a child? A sci fi fan? A horror fan? What if you like Literary Adaptations? Or just fancied a bit of a laugh? Or splosions? Everyone likes splosions! Surely? There was certainly a good quantity of product on offer at the close of the noughties. How much of it was any good though? The 80s Kids roll up their sleeves and get stuck into a year like any other, desperately so. In other news their mysterious nemesis, working on behalf of the evil arch-nemesis Big Bay, finally has the kids cornered. As they've managed to get this far without dying, and now their journey is at its end, you probably won't care much for the resolution of that plot strand though, will you? Hardly incidental, and actually rather good, music provided by incompetech.com Awesome. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1102009IsThatAllThereIs/110-2009-is-that-all-there-is.mp3

Perfectly primed the 80s kids begin the show reflecting on prejudice and pleasant times. Quite quickly though a queue forms querying the quixotic nature of the team's picks. Rallying redoubtably the troops regroup to rethink. Reconnoitre random ripping yarns from the silver screen. Slithering slinkily within sight come some suspiciously sublime selections to round out the show. If all that PQRS alliteration hasn't put you off then maybe themes of monochrome, stop motion, 70s style action, weird porcine adventures, voyeurism, ecology and the sad decline of bankable properties will. The only way to find out is to take the plunge. Come on in, it's very pleasant. Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/109The80sKidsABCOfCinemaPQRS/109-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-PQRS.mp3

SPOILER WARNING! This show is about the ends of shows. So the topic of conversation is necessarily spoiler-heavy. Listen with caution! You had to know it was on its way. There's only one year left in the Noughties, those final Top 5s and we're a mere 7 letters from the end of the alphabet. All that remains is for the kids to sweep up, arrange the barstools neatly and turn out the lights. Cue the emotional piano music, like all great shows the 80s Kids is winding up to the big finish. So, before we take that last step into the arena of finality, why not take the opportunity to get all beardy that one last time? In a conclusion to the "navel-gazing" strand of the cast Leo and Ian talk about show finales. They go hunting for the common threads in that most elusive of beasts: the satisfying conclusion. "Lost" is bound to come up again, as it does, but there's also a look at "Star Trek: TNG", "Buffy", new "BSG" "Fringe", "Blakes 7", "Babylon 5", "Twin Peaks" and "The Shield" among others. So as the roundabout slows try not to get anything in your eye. You can rest assured that the kids aren't going to go out in an "everybody dies" toys from pram kind of a finale. Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Episode108AndNowTheEndIsNear/108-And-now-the-end-is-near.mp3

There's some unexpected crossing over on 80s Kids Story Time this week where M and O provide a chance for the kids to find out what they have in common. It turns out that Ian and Justin both feel some concern that they might be judged, in a cosmic sense. Justin and Leo, on the other hand, are just both at home among hairy gentlemen with big swords, but find luminous dragons an issue. Aside from this the week's dark volume of lunatic tales ponders on the fatality that comes to British actors called Sean, the possibly copyright infringing silent creatures of the night, and numinous presences that take full advantage of the "N" loophole! It's enough to drive anyone mad. Possibly best to settle down for a nice meal at a high altitude, and watch out for snipers on the way home from the registry office, won't you? Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Episode107The80sKidsAbcOfMoviesMno/107-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-MNO.mp3

Striking back against Big Bay this week the 80s Kids revel in the year of the Revenge of the 80s Kids. 2008 was the year in which the modern world, and by the modern world I mean the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was born. After the joys of Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, though, what more did 2008 have to offer? The Punisher is brutal, for sure, and this probably leads to it being unfairly sent to the Marvel Studios naughty corner. Don't forget the other comic book joy on offer this year, DC's finest hour was born in the form of The Dark Knight, and Guillermo Del Toro presented us with Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Don't get me wrong, there was dross on offer in 2008: The Spirit, Eagle Eye, Quantum of Solace. The thing is, though, that when 2008 got it right it got it so so damn right. Let us not forget The Forbidden Kingdom, Doomsday, Death Race, Transporter 3, Vantage Point and Pineapple Express. That roster alone should tell you that the 80s Kids were being well served in 2008, let us not forget that this year also gave us the film that told us being a LARPer was fine, nay, not just fine but cool, in the shape of Role Models. Let's grab out rubber swords and geek out about one of the most joyfully nerdy years in cinema history. Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/106TheRevengeOfThe80sKids/106%20-%20The%20Revenge%20of%20the%2080s%20Kids.mp3

...And then the main characters found themselves embarrassingly in medias res without a chance to properly adjust. Such has become the lot of the television protagonist, their stories creatively non-linear, their issues never resolved in a single episode, their tales always working in the most convoluted of twists. This week the Kids from the 80s, for it is they, look at the phenomenon of prestige television in all its forms, from The Wire to Breaking Bad, from Abrams to Kring, all the big hitters are here. Asking the questions that must have occurred to all modern viewers of the telly box at some stage the kids pontificate about the problems of making things up as you go along and the limiting factors of studio interference and actor contracts. Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/105ArcShowsTheInevitableFillerEpisode/105%20-%20Arc%20Shows%20-%20The%20Inevitable%20Filler%20Episode.mp3

Back we go! Back to the toy box of the 80s kids to pull forth the pack of letter blocks, separate out three and challenge the kids to make a word from the results. Unfortunately the letters returned are JKL, so anything that is not a noise you make when you first stub your toe is out of the question. Conversation soon turns, inevitably, to film picks. Ian's first pick is about extreme woodworking, at least it's undertaken by a professional... Justin gets insulting with his first choice leading Leo to rifle through his Smiths records for a soothing tune about the ineffectiveness of snooze alarms on a significant other. Moving onto K, Leo has an axe to grind, as long as he's dancing while he grinds it, of course. Justin's pick is up to something and wears many hats in order to achieve its nefarious aims. Ian will put things right as long as he doesn't lose an eye playing with knives, or starfish, or both. They decide, predictably enough, to round off with L where Justin is contemplating failure. Ian is making a high score which could lead him into serious trouble. As the others depart Leo finds himself as the only one left... or some other way to describe that situation. Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/104The80sKidsABCOfCinemaJKL/104%20-%20The%2080s%20Kids%20ABC%20of%20Cinema%20-%20JKL.mp3

History itself has conformed to a shape that tells us the 80s Kids had a destiny, an epic birthright and a pleasing plot arc. For we have arrived at 2007, a mere three years from the finish line to find a wasteland, a cinematic apocalypse lurking in an unexpected location. 2007 was so devoid of worth that it's amazing that people let it pass as if it was just another year. Forget the fact that this is the year of the first Bayformers, we have and we feel much better for it. This is the year in which you could count the number of truly successful movies on the digits of two hands and not even need the thumbs. Hot Fuzz, Enchanted, Stardust, a Potter, a Bourne and we're pretty much done. Sure we had 300 featuring Gerard Butler in a pair of Y-Fronts and a cloak, a Spartan outfit indeed. We had a tepid Simpsons Movie. After those meagre pickings however you're in the arena of "letting things off the hook". Ratatouille did nothing for Pixar's reputation, Spider Man 3 is still derided for the creation of emo-Parker, I Am Legend was a vehicle for Will Smith's massive ego, Beowulf gave Sue a headache because of the 3-D and Leo a headache because of everything else, the less said about Bridge To Terabithia the better. The mediocre dross keeps spewing. The Golden Compass is like dust on the wind, 1408 is all but forgotten, Blood & Chocolate thankfully missed the Twihard wannabe boat, The Invasion was the remake ashamed of its own story, The Number 23 is as disappointing as only the 22nd sequel in any franchise could be, Hitman failed to hit the mark, Shooter suffered from a remarkable lack of action and War demonstrated that you shouldn't ever put Jet Li and Jason Statham in the same place at the same time. Ian tries to lighten the mood with a wry observation arising from the implications of AvP:Requiem. It's no good, however, we're trapped in a tin can in a vacuum at the mercy of our arch-nemesis and the air is running low. Truly the darkest point of the journey, so grim Justin can't even be bothered to make an out of context remark. Let's just hope we can extricate ourselves from this mess before it's too late... Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/103Films2007BigBayStrikesBack/103%20-%20Films%202007%20Big%20Bay%20Strikes%20Back.mp3

The Hellraiser series is an odd duck. A film series that has, over the years, churned out movies featuring that most iconic demon/angel with a love of S&M who cares not for the 'safety word' as he carries off for torture any who have been foolish enough to solve a certain puzzle box. The films have wavered in quality for arty reactions against the mindless slasher genre to patchwork visions of hell to actually being a mindless monster movie before becoming a property that while yearning for another 'Must see' entry in the canon seems to flounder every time and could be argued fares much better as something roughly jammed into a horror script that wasn't even supposed to feature them. And so a strange chain of 9ish movies stretching from our 80s home land and into more or less modern day lies before us, and while fan differ on exactly where the golden era exactly falls the jumbled sequence of largely unsynchronized films and DVDs seems to hang together as a body of work, where a wild and fascinating mythology seems to emerge between the cracks. Realizing there's always safety in numbers the 80s kids have enlisted the aid of horror enthusiast J R Park to help as they navigate their way through one of the most fascinating franchises out there. Hellraiser films good and bad take us between ultimate pleasure and ultimate pain. To think... we hesitated... Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/102Hellraiser/102%20-%20Hellraiser.mp3

It's after midnight at the beardy discussion diner. The 100th party is over, Justin's eaten too much cake and passed out, so out come the weighty philosophical ideas. What's baking Leo's noodle this week is the twin dilemma that lurks between current copyright law and our digital ability to back up everything. On the one hand it is sad that copyright material that is not cherished and preserved is lost forever, but creative things are lost all the time. Sure, for some reason we all know about Robin Hood the outlaw of Nottingham who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor but what about Melvin Tabard the Cheeky Bandito of Cleethorpes. He robbed from a variety of people, pooled the money and gave it back to them divided equally, also known as the Dutch Deliverer? We've all forgotten him, or I just made him up to illustrate a point. The unfortunate fact is that since the mid-noughties it has become almost impossible to get rid of a cultural artifact that, at some point, was rendered into digital format. This sounds good in theory but when people en masse prefer to recycle old things in the form of franchises, sequels, prequels and works based on other works how do we ensure that artists continue to create new, far less popular things? Ironically, copyright and its ridiculous terms has created, in addition to a sort of enforced forgetting, an enforced create something passably new situation. A work may be "heavily influenced" but it is, at least, its own thing. Does this make copyright an unintentional hero fighting for the cause of novelty? Almost certainly. Is this new idea likely to be popular? Probably not, new things don't gain much traction in this day and age. Good job we have copyright to fence off huge swathes of intellectual property from lazy artists eh? Who's with me! See, that's what I thought. Not a popular idea. But just WAIT for the sequel! Incidental Music by incompetech.com Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/101NostalgiaAinTWhatItUsedToBe/101%20-%20Nostalgia%20ain_t%20what%20it%20used%20to%20be.mp3