Rich and Ally's Craven Newsround

Monday 15th June 2026 - V-Maxxing. Rich and Ally are back, though for Rich, maybe not for long, as Ally blurts out what he's going through this week. Ever the pro, Rich pushes onwards despite attempts to make the whole show nothing but same phrases to discuss the controversial topic of Vagina-maxing. Is this the right medium to discuss this? Yes it is. Remember, Rich thinks whatever you think about this and is very much on your side. Unless you're one of the dead-eyed people doing the operations.

Friday 12th June 2026 - Sodomised Gargoyles. It's the last Newsround of the week and a weary Richard Herring talks us through not one, not two, but three big news stories, travelling the world from Russia/Ukraine to Spain and then right out into outer space and unknowable time. You don't get that on the grown-up news.

Thursday 11th June 2026 - Blue Anchor. Rich and Ally are a bit put out to find out they are not the most popular thing in the show, but they plough on regardless, looking into the case of the mysterious cider drinking mannequin in Minehead. What really happened? The lamestream media won't tell you, but we will.

Wednesday 10th June 2026 - Scooby DUMB. Rich is a bit less tired than yesterday, but still quite tired and he can't believe that he is having his childhood destroyed. Just leave things the way they are. When they were good. When I was young. Plus big news about Prince Harry.

Tuesday 9th June 2026 - Milked in a Basement. Rich has been too busy or tired to do Newsround for a few days and to be honest probably should have given it a miss today. But news doesn't wait for someone to be in the mood to tell you what the news is and luckily one person on this show can enunciate. The boys are talking about creating sperm in a lab and what that might mean for humanity. It's an all time classic. Thank you Moriarty.

Thursday June 4th 2026 - Yvonne Boolabong. Ally tries his hand at some ventriloquism in this last episode of the week, due to a rare performance commitment, but eventually there is some bloody news and it's all about the return of an unpopular, unfunny 1990s comedy figure. Surely Richard isn't so self-obsessed to make all this about him? Come and see him live (while you still can): https://richardherring.com/gigs

Tuesday June 2nd 2026 - Question Time. Rich and Ally cover another story that the elitist BBC wouldn't cover, what are the unanswered questions in the Mandelson Files? And how many are there? There are more questions than answers, but not if you include wrong answers.

Thursday 28th May 2026 - Badly Burnt Penis. Rich and Ally are back from their holidays with all the news that the mainstream media won't touch. Because they won't touch penises. Is that all we do on this? Finally the truth about the people of Harpenden, plus touching up the Cerne Abbas Giant's private areas. It's absolutely pathetic.

Friday 22nd May 2026 - Unflammable. Rich and Ally are back, but there's some bad blood between them. Can't everyone just think of Rich's wider career? They are talking about the eternal flame, not of gonorrhoea this time, but in a Buddhist Temple in Japan and why it might be a bad idea to house that in a place made of wood.

Thursday 21st May 2026 - Foot in Mouth. Rich and Ally are back and looking at the STI figures in the EU and how best to sexily open a condom. Before falling out quite badly. Could this be the end of the partnership?

Wednesday 20th May 2026 - Spygate. Rich is back in more cheerful mood and there's finally been a major development in his puppetry skills. But how many cocaines has he taken? And is his real viewership waiting for him, ungestated, in the future? Today the boys discuss football like a pair of right lads, plus how to be like Rich.

Tuesday 19th May 2026 - Scott Baio's Tapestry. Rich and Ally are back with news of a very important study on the Bayeaux Tapestry, but then have to stop as Rich has to go to a parent teacher thing at his kids' school. Never happened to John Craven. That's why it's under 5 minutes today though.

Friday May 12th 2026 - The Gig Gokker. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and it's all about Riches and riches. Not a single song, so nothing to annoy anyone. I am sure everything is fine.

Wednesday 13th May 2026 - King's Peach. Rich and Ally have news about dogs being kicked in the head and PM's being kicked in the balls. With an exclusive interview with the next PM?? You don't get this on the lame-stream news.

Tuesday 12th May 2026 - Llama Farmer. Rich and Ally are back to get to the bottom of whether the Prime Minister will stay on and whether he is a damp rag or something else all together.

Monday 11th May 2026 - Pert Nipples. Rich and Ally are back after a weekend away and Rich is determined to keep the show to its 5 minute time slot. With all the news from the Met Gala. So should be a nice quiet one.

Friday 8th May 2026 - MV Hondius. Rich and Ally are back for the last time this week and they're looking at the brand new virus that will hopefully spread across the world and get us all into another relaxing lockdown. Plus a report from the deck of the doomed ship, but who will be the reporter today?

Thursday 7th May 2026 - Election Day. Rich and Ally cover all the comings and goings as some of the UK prepares to vote for Reform and not "Crack" Polanski.

Wednesday 6th May 2026 - Hypnotherapy Lies. Rich and Ally have breaking news about the most mendacious politician there has ever been and why we must never vote for anyone who tells lies. You will be shocked to the core by these accusations. Plus find out how to get bigger breasts. It's the show that gives you everything.

Tuesday 5th May 2026 - Mrs Doubtfire. There's news of an upcoming royal birth and suspicions of a clever ruse going on, but you can hear about it straight from the shamed-horse's mouth with a special interview with the grandfather to be.

Friday 1st May 2026 - Rings Of Uranus. Rich and Ally discuss some amazing space news in the first Newsround of the month, but the last one in the week.

Thursday 30th April 2026 - Truncated Due To Chicken Pox. The news is coming in thick and fast, Rich is back on the telly, the universe might end before that and Herring junior needs to be picked up from school. This never happened to John Craven.

Tuesday 28th April 2026 - What BP Do With Their Profits. Rich and Ally are back again with all the big news stories. Today, record profiteering from BP, from a war they didn't pay for and what that means for democracy to the chagrin of feudal kings. It's a very clever show, but we're not going to tell you why. If you're actually clever you'll understand it without having to have it explained to you.