Rock-n-Roll Autopsy

The boys spend a Saturday in detention, romanticize adolescent alienation through the power of a raised fist, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Simple Minds’ 1985 coming-of-age anthem, “Don’t You (Forget About Me).”

The boys (minus one) make a major show announcement and celebrate the Fourth of July by embracing singular vision, authoritarian tendencies, and a fistful of bands that exemplify anti-democratic rock ‘n’ roll.

The boys hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, reconnect long-lost tour mates, gush over Rush, and marvel at Gene Simmons’ latest entrepreneurial adventure.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and take an unscientific look at Geezer Butler’s battle with depression through the dark poetry of Black Sabbath.

The boys regress to a state of peak late-’90s arrested development, mistake hormonal compulsion for profound artistic expression, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Korn’s 1997 acronym-powered ode to intrusive thoughts, “A.D.I.D.A.S.” News items and digressions include Loudwire’s list of the top five politically charged thrash metal songs.

Without the guardrails of science to fall back on, the boys trade evidence-based analysis for deliberately provocative, sensational, and often ridiculous hot takes about the world of rock ‘n roll.

The boys pick favorites, compare notes, and pluck away at Rolling Stone’s latest clickbait driven analysis of the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos of All Time.

The boys pick favorites, compare notes, and pluck away at Rolling Stone’s latest clickbait driven analysis of the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos of All Time.

The boys trash hotel rooms with self-aware charm, canonize burnout excess as aspirational living, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Joe Walsh’s 1978 millionaire-rock confession, “Life’s Been Good.” News items and digressions include Geddy Lee hiring a vocal coach ahead of Rush’s upcoming tour and Midnight celebrating 15 years of Satanic Royalty.

The boys descend into caveman horniness, celebrate primal riffage with alarming enthusiasm, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ted Nugent’s 1980 Neanderthal party anthem, “Wango Tango.” News items and digressions include Marilyn Manson opening up onstage about his sobriety journey.

The boys grapple with existential felt, reframe melancholy as a virtue, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Joe Raposo’s tender 1970 identity crisis, “Bein’ Green.” News items and digressions include Iron Maiden snubbing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and new music from KISS tied to their Vegas avatar spectacle.

The boys cosplay cool with alarming commitment, butcher borrowed swagger with suburban confidence, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Offspring’s 1998 novelty smash, “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy).” News items and digressions include Taylor Momsen, The Pretty Reckless, a venomous spider bite, and high-voltage touring alongside AC/DC.

The boys yank the starter cord on late-hair lowbrow lyricism, double down on vile vulgarity, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Jackyl’s 1992 no-subtlety-needed shock anthem, “She Loves My C**k.” News items and digressions include Angine de Poitrine and a blink-and-you-missed-it ascent to fame.

The boys craft iconic synth hooks, launch into an orbit of miscalculated light-years, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Europe’s 1986 arena-rock juggernaut, “The Final Countdown.” News items and digressions include Rush, Anika Nilles, and a triumphant return at the Juno Awards 2026.

The boys stretch out on fashionable furniture, lean hard into ironic detachment, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Wet Leg’s 2021 minimalist indie breakout, “Chaise Longue.” News items and digressions include Vinnie Vincent and his $2 million opus, Guitarmageddon.

The boys (minus one) welcome wise music swami and prolific author extraordinaire, Martin Popoff into the lab to discuss his latest book, KISS '76: Twelve Months That Defined the Hottest Band in the Land.

The boys slap on fake mustaches, chase down a fuzzy bassline, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Beastie Boys’ snarling rap-rock classic, Sabotage. News items and digressions include renewed forensic analysis suggesting the death of Kurt Cobain may have been a homicide.

The boys trash trash TV, rage against afternoon soaps, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Public Enemy’s rap-metal riot, She Watch Channel Zero?!. News items and digressions include Flavor Flav trading giant clocks for gold medals as hype man for women’s sports and host of a Las Vegas celebration honoring the United States women’s national ice hockey team’s championship run.

The boys flap their arms at hardcore’s art-school evolution, stage-dive into post-genre euphoria, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Turnstile’s ecstatic modern anthem, “Birds.” News items and digressions include the debut of Rock 101, where single-coils and humbuckers are dissected with the precision of bedroom tone scientists who own entirely too many guitar pedals.

The boys grab a slice of rock mythology, decode eight-and-a-half minutes of cultural bewilderment, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Don McLean’s 1971 folk-rock campfire epic, “American Pie.” News items and digressions include a look back at the tragic deaths of the Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, and Ritchie Valens.

The boys wind the clocks back to wholesome ’50s nostalgia, sculpt a perfectly greasy pompadour, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Bill Haley & His Comets’ proto-teen anthem, “Rock Around the Clock.” News items and digressions include Washington’s Rules of Civility and Paul Gilbert’s head-scratching lyrical inspiration.

The boys plug in power tools, relive the glory days of fretboard excess, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Mr. Big’s 1991 split personality promise, “Daddy, Brother, Lover, Little Boy (The Electric Drill Song).” News items and digressions include artists reckoning with their own cringe-era lyrics and hardware store innovation.

The boys use punk rock to mock programmed rebellion, sneer at corporate cool, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Dead Kennedys’ 1985 middle-finger-to-the-mainstream manifesto, “MTV-Get Off the Air.” News items and digressions include Alex Honnold free-soloing Taipei with Tool and enjoying overnight AM aliens with Art Bell.

The boys (minus one) break format to pore over poorly picked heroes, say goodbye to “Dangerous” Dave Mustaine, and review Megadeth’s seventeenth, self-titled, and allegedly final studio album.

The boys take a break from amateur pathology to acknowledge the death of music television, bask in the glory of boob-tube nostalgia, and celebrate the cultural earthquake that was MTV by sharing a proudly unscientific list of the ten greatest music videos of all time.

The boys read rhyming cue cards, sweat through minimalist flirty funk, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of INXS’ 1987 seductive single, “Need You Tonight/Mediate.” News items and digressions include Alex Van Halen and Steve Lukather spelunking through Eddie’s archives in search of new tunes.

The boys tiptoe around rock’s holiest relic, climb the most overplayed staircase in rock history, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Led Zeppelin’s 1971 untouchable epic, “Stairway to Heaven.” News items and digressions include Jane’s Addiction forgoing the fans and finally reaching a settlement after their onstage fisticuffs.

The boys bust out their tuxedo t-shirts, engage in nauseating self-congratulatory navel-gazing, and hand out Poddy awards for the best and worst episodes of 2025. Digressions include podcast divorce, fruit basket obsession, and copious KISS content.

The boys chase hooks through naval gazing arrangements, briefly flirt with accessibility, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Dream Theater’s unlikely hit, “Pull Me Under.” News items and digressions include Loudwire’s claim that hair metal’s biggest albums aren’t its finest.

The boys (minus one) welcome back YouTube veteran and newly prolific author, Tim Durling into the lab to discuss his latest book, THE SOUND THAT HAUNTS YOU: A Beginners Companion to Fleetwood Mac.

The boys call their shot, trot confidently toward the warning track, and slide headfirst into the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of John Fogerty’s 1985 ballpark anthem, “Centerfield.” News items and digressions include Paul Anka finally confirming Frank Sinatra’s legendary “size” and the baseball buzzkill that is advanced analytics.

The boys embrace chronic boredom, get candid about solo hobbies, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Green Day’s 1994 slacker anthem, “Longview.” News items and digressions include Sharon Osbourne’s fury over an early Black Sabbath manager releasing old demos and the male loneliness epidemic.

The boys drink raw eggs in gray sweats, triumphantly sprint up the courthouse steps, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Survivor’s 1982 training-montage juggernaut, “Eye of the Tiger.” News items and digressions include the AC/DC concert so loud it registered on a seismograph in Australia—and a debate over whether lighting farts could ever achieve similar geological impact.

The boys break the bro-code by chasing a Beatle bride, tack a piano outro onto a love triangle, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Derek and the Dominos’ tortured 1970 classic, “Layla.” News items and digressions include Metallica’s decision to go 100% digital live.

The boys flip their guitars upside down, plug into the cosmic mainframe, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Jimi Hendrix Experience’s 1968 psychedelic blues odyssey, “Voodoo Chile.” News items and digressions include Megadeth’s plan to cover Metallica’s “Ride the Lightning”—because apparently, therapy’s still more expensive than studio time.

The boys fire up the flux capacitor, time travel into corporate rock respectability, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Huey Lewis and the News’ immaculate yuppie anthem, “The Power of Love.” News items and digressions include Rush’s new tour with drummer Anika Nilles and navigating nostalgia versus escalating ticket prices.

The boys trade leather for life coaching, flex their motivational muscles, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Paul Stanley’s 2006 self-help mantra, “Live to Win.” News items and digressions include a farewell salute to the late, great Space Ace himself, Ace Frehley.

The boys (minus one) welcome YouTube veteran and newly prolific author, Tim Durling into the lab to discuss his latest panel discussion book, SING ME AWAY: The Night Ranger Album Review. Additionally, your intrepid solo host shares an impromptu and not very thought out list of his favorite rock music-centered YouTube and podcast content.

The boys peel off their filthy lab coats, put down their timeworn scalpels, and take a break from their usual autopsy table shenanigans to celebrate their 200th episode with an inspired and somewhat over-serious reanimation of the KISS ‘78 solo albums.

The boys awkwardly dodge lyrical landmines, get lost in problematic folk-blues lineage, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ram Jam’s 1977 foot-stomping barnburner, “Black Betty.” News items and digressions include Stevie Rachelle finally pulling the plug on the Metal Sludge Gossip Board and what that means for the lost art of digital trash talk.

The boys stumble out of the blocks, sprint through ironic 90’s detachment, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Cake’s 1996 endurance anthem, “The Distance.” News items and digressions include a heated debate over Ozzy-era supremacy: Paranoid vs No More Tears.

The boys flip through sticky magazines, discover their high school crush posing for glossy smut, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of J. Geils Band’s 1981 hit, “Centerfold.” News items and digressions include Vince Neil’s stroke and Mötley Crüe’s backing track bickering.

The boys trade cowbells for coat hangers, laugh through campy piano melodrama, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Blue Öyster Cult’s soap-operatic scare piece, “Joan Crawford.” News items and digressions include Sebastian Bach berating a fan for wanting a hug and the dangers of stage-side clinginess.

The boys swap authority for ax lessons, awkwardly air-shred through heartland hokum, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of John Cougar Mellencamp’s 1983 instructional anthem, “Play Guitar.” News items and digressions include a Korn concert cautionary tale, public indecency in the pit, and why some fans should never go hands-free.

The boys chug cheap beer in Babalouie’s, get drunk on sleazy psychobilly surf riffs, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Cramps’ raunchy rockabilly riot, “Let’s Get Fucked Up.” News items and digressions include Sammy Hagar’s paranormal tequila visions and David Lee Roth’s ghost-shaming stand-up routine.

The boys struggle with the logistics of headbanging in a papal robe, hum along to hymns of heresy, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ghost’s incense-scented singalong, “Ritual.” News items and digressions include Megadeth’s impending retirement and Dave Mustaine’s complicated legacy.

The boys chug through impossible time signatures, nearly dislocate a hip trying to headbang in 13/16, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Meshuggah’s 2008 polyrhythmic endurance test, “Bleed.” News items and digressions include Yondr bags, Ghost, Tool, Iron Maiden, and whether locking up your phone is the new mosh pit etiquette.

The boys peel off their filthy lab coats, put down their timeworn scalpels, and take a break from their usual autopsy table shenanigans to review Paul Stanley’s ‘78 solo album. It’s episode four of a four-part deep-dive into KISS’ unprecedented simultaneous solo releases.

The boys trip through sugarless enlightenment, cut calories with Canadian harmonies, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Guess Who’s oddly nutritious FM staple, “No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature.” News items and digressions include copious cups of black coffee and Ozzy-inspired burritos.

The boys (minus one) snort ants off the sidewalk of time, mumble incoherently through a haze of historic heavy metal, and pay tribute to the immortal, occasionally intelligible, prince of prime-time darkness—Ozzy Osbourne.