PODCAST · comedy
Sburban Sprawl
by sburbsprawl
Three friends of dubious expertise and experience attempt to read the entirety of Homestuck. One chapter at a time. Maybe at some point they'll even understand what's going on.
Episodes
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Episode 37 Act 4 Chapter 4: Send Help
Oh god, the chums are cursed. This podcast is cursed. Here's a new episode while we still try to shamble out of bed. Who here likes vampires? Intro and Outro Music: Black by Toby "Radiation" Fox and Eddie Morton https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/black-3
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Episode 36 Act 4 Chapter 3: We're Back! A Podcaster's Story
Huzzah! The chums make their actual for real triumphant return to the Homestuck hole with chapter 3. Was it worth the wait? Did absence make the plot go yonder? Something something wine metaphor Cask of Amontillado? After catching up on the story they catch up on some old old drama at this point...
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Episode 35 Act 4 Chapter 2: Hi We Recorded This A Month Ago
Hey folks. I'm dropping the chum patter bullshit this time to say heyyyyyyy we're back! And what's the best way to celebrate a grand return than by releasing an out of date episode we recorded before our month-long hiatus in which we talk about books that aren't Homestuck for three-quarters of…
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Episode 34 Act 4 Chapter 1: The Land of Clouds and Meadows
Well, we're back. Not the podcast, we never left, but the chums are back to the real meat and more meat of Homestuck proper with Act 4. Will their time with the intermission leave them feeling any more charitable towards the proper comic? Probably not considering at some point they start looking…
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Episode 33 Intermission Chapter 6: Choose Stink
The podcast with the world's most inconsistent episode length strikes again as the chums ring out the end of the only part of Homestuck they've liked so far. Then they decide to unwind with some more personality quiz fun before giving their (for now) final word on this recent clown business....
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Episode 32 Intermission Chapter 5: Honk If You Love Genders
Oh boy it's real mad hours once again at the Sburban Sprawl virtual household! And we're not even out of the intermission yet! The chums briefly mention a chapter in which not a lot happens as the intermission winds down toward some kind of conclusion, then get really deep in the mud discussing...
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Episode 31 Intermission Chapter 4: You Got Sawbuck
You're really dumb. Like, REALLY dumb. You can barely get up in the morning without putting your pants on upside down and falling out the window. Forest animals flee at your approach. Everybody shows open derision and disgust whenever you're around and you're probably also a huge pervert. Take...
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Episode 30 Intermission Chapter 3: Spades "Steppenwolf" Slick
This week the chums let the good times roll with the best chapter yet! Incredibly they just keep getting better! Try not to think about how short this intermission is. Also: Spades is ice cold, Clubs is a funny little guy, and Hearts is REALLY tired of it. Intro and Outro Music: Hearts Flush by...
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Episode 29 Intermission Chapter 2: Hands Off The Pizzle
This week the chums continue to get their clocks lovingly cleaned by an intermission they continue to like! Kiiiiinda! For the most part! The stumbles are starting to add up, and only time will tell if they can sour the group's fun times. What WAS up with bill penis canes, anyway? Incidentally:...
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Episode 28 Intermission Chapter 1: Spades Universe
Nyeeeh, see? Dese chums are finding demselves in a little pickle. Da felt has knocked over da Midnight Crew's favorite den a inequity and da chums are caught in da middle! Does dis little intermission hold up to da hype, or will Hussie sleep with da dirt? In da ground? Cause he's dead. Intro and...
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Episode 27 Act 3 Chapter 11: The Hot Dog of Knowledge
That's another chapter in the bag! The chums celebrate yet another small victory over the hulking behemoth by actually talking about things they like for once. Things they like including more wiki idiocy. You'll like it too!. Plus: John puts a bad joke to rest, Rose breaks into her mom's wine...
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Episode 26 Act 3 Chapter 10: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, I'm Trying To Delete Homestuck
Whoops! The chums done goofed again! We went and accidentally read a chapter with no content again! Sorry about that! Hopefully we can make up for it by also reading a really sub-par apology(?) explanation(?) from Hussie himself about the Homestuck 2 rigamarole. Meanwhile AM is a pervert, RM is a...
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Episode 25 Act 3 Chapter 9: Homestuck 2 Is Dead, Long Live Psycholonials
This week is an tumultuous one as several big events rock the Homestuck world at once. The chums discuss the (seeming?) end of Homestuck 2 alongside the surprise beginning of Hussie's newest baby: Psycholonials. Afterwards they move on to a particularly terrible reading! Hackles get raised this...
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Episode 24 Act 3 Chapter 8: Fusion Skanking
The Chums finally get a break as the comic throws them a discussion-worthy bone and they have some genuinely complimentary things to say about the comic! Wow! John has some fun, Jade answers some questions, Rose is... somewhere probably. Plus an unofficial third segment as the chums design a…
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Episode 23 Act 3 Chapter 7: Driver's Licenses Please Don't Steal
This week the chums are lulled into a deep slumber by the chill beats of nothing happening. Instead they talk about politics or some bullshit it's probably not important to the future. John confronts his unconsciousness, Jade continues to sleep, Hussie snoozes through the plot. Don't worry...
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Episode 22 Act 3 Chapter 6: The Bonus Beandad Room
Welcome, colonists. This week the chums find themselves off the beaten path yet again as the comic continues to do its... thing. John has a fakedown, Rose has a rock dropped on her oversized noggin, and Jade goes to sleep. Same, Jade. But you're not here for that bullshit you're here for…
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Episode 21 Act 3 Chapter 5: Trilbystuck
This week the chums are shocked blind by incredible revelations about John's dad. Click here to be shocked! Be sure to wear a girdle to keep your sides unsplit, too. Also: Jade fails to find a dog, we meet someone who definitely isn't a character from both a better comic and a better…
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Episode 20 Act 3 Chapter 4: Pawful Modcasters
This week the chums blah blah blah I'm going to be honest I just finished my winter break from this podcast and I forgot to schedule it to upload until midnight on Sunday. If I go back to edit this to be more professional consider it a privilege you've been afforded. We meet a new wandering…
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Episode 19 Act 3 Chapter 3: Outer Hussies
It's a tough week for the chums as they make like a data tree and leaf for greener pastures. Several yawn-worthy fight scenes play out, Rose gets some exposition we didn't need, and we once again learn about stairs. Then the chums get in an extensive conversations about the merits of Fallout…
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Episode 18 Act 3 Chapter 2: Michigan Carbomb
This week the chums are assaulted by a wall of sight and sound as the comic reminds them of all the hanging plot threads it still hasn't bothered to resolve. Hussie wastes everyone's time, Jade wastes her own time, John gets his ass kicked, Dave gets his ass kicked, and everyone gets…
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Episode 17 Act 3 Chapter 1: Dawn of the Third Act, 72,000 Hours Remain
Chime the bells for it is the dawning of a new act! The chums get introduced to a brand new character (finally) and all of her many fun and interesting hobbies and of course instantly all fall in love with her because she's so cool. This has been a simulation of what it'd be like if this podcast...
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Episode 16 Act 2 Chapter 11: Sizzlin
The chums breathe a sigh of relief as they make it to the end of yet another act and decide to talk about internet archiving instead of whatever closes out this narrative arc. It's just more vagabond and vague foreshadowing, honestly. Bonus Fun: The Unofficial Homestuck Collection...
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Episode 15 Act 2 Chapter 10: Gimme 100 Signs
Rejoice! The chums draw close to the end of act 2, and the only thing that stands in their way is a deep, personal look at our favorite avatar of the author's hand: the Winding Vagrant or whatever. Then they finally find their places in the extended cosmos with a quiz. How will they deal with...
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Episode 14 Act 2 Chapter 9: Rehabillitation
This week the chums get deep in it with the drama as they learn the true history of Homestuck's most maligned music artist. And then because they get easily distracted they look at Homestuck fan projects and are introduced to the amusing horror of the extended zodiac. Additional Listening: Skaian...
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Episode 13 Act 2 Chapter 8: The Wizarding World of Hussie Potter
Hey and welcome to Fuck Wizards the wizard hate cast, fuck wizards. Not to be confused with Fuck-Wizards, the wizard fan cast. This week the chums aren't given much by the comic itself, so instead they do a deep dive into the symbology of puppets and one of Hussie's earlier works of magic: a...
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Episode 12 Act 2 Chapter 7: Absolutely Twisted
Welcome back to your regularly scheduled pain! This week the chums, er, I mean BOSOM FRIENDS, don't feel very welcomed by a comic, I mean PICTURED STORY, that doesn't seem to like them very much. They find themselves confronted with repeating jokes, ancient jokes, repeating jokes, and a continued...
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Episode 11 Act 2 Chapter 6: Oops All Serious
This week the comic refuses to provide the jokes to the chums so they don't either, instead having a frank, and frankly overdue, discussion on homophobia, the internet, fandom, projecting your values onto creators you like, and the gay singularity. Please have higher standards, you deserve…
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Episode 10 Act 2 Chapter 5: I Warned You About Sbahj, Bro
Literally nothing happens in this week's reading, so the chums take a nice break by reading through the entirety to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff (whatever's officially free online at least). Is it as good as they remember, or has time taken the shine off the teacup? You have pattern recognition you…
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Episode 9 Act 2 Chapter 4: Homophobic Puppets
It was a really great painting. Well, less of a painting and more of a poster. But it was a really great poster. The wizard looked like a really stereotypical wizard in a robe and floppy magic nightcap but the dragon was really weird and willowy. The wizard was standing on a hill holding his…
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Episode 8 Act 2 Chapter 3: Homeowners
The chums once again find themselves mired in strife and flash interactions as they brace for an impact of an infodump-y variety. Until then they take the time to learn about electrical engineering (thanks heave), the finer points of strife allocation (thanks heave), and the very nature of...
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Episode 7 Act 2 Chapter 2: We Have To Talk About Dave
Oh my god, is that Dave? Who invited Dave to the party I thought we agreed like not to tell him about it! Ugh he's gonna spend like the WHOLE night talking about his sword collection and trying to get the DJ to play his mix CD. Hey, be a dear and like go put the vodka away you know how homophobic...
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Episode 6 Act 2 Chapter 1: In Loving Memory of Racist Tentacle Man
Act 2 starts with a flashbang as the chums are thrown into the void of overly-long scene setting. It's okay though because Hussie sweeps them into his manly arms and just carries them through the story and directly into his DeviantArt so they can see his cool OCs. Meanwhile Rose just continues to...
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Episode 5 Act 1 Chapter 6: Goth Hussie GF
We made it, the final chapter. Of act 1. Of like a billion. But what's most important is that the chums live in their moment of success as they finally get introduced to a new kid who.... wait... no never mind she's just as bad as the last one. At least her mom fucking owns holy shit I mean have...
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Episode 4 Act 1 Chapter 5: This Episode Does Not Exist
Day XX Month XX This morning I woke up to find a file called "sburbspr_chap_5.wav" on my desktop. But... everyone knows Homestuck act 1 doesn't have a fifth chapter where nothing happens except Hussie tutorializes the basic mechanics of a fake game. I would remember the chums being given so…
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Episode 3 Act 1 Chapters 3 and 4: Terminal Poster's Brain
Things get spicy among the chums in this special-edition XXL episode as the comic FINALLY gets around to the whole plot thing and we get introduced to the mechanics(?) of Sburb. Everyone's getting restless and tempers flare in the arena of Sylladex before everyone rightfully remembers who the…
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Episode 2 Act 1 Chapter 2: The World's Most Expensive Zine
The chums are introduced to the strife specibus, harlequins, some genuinely nice music, and this underground figure known as "Betty Crocker". Shortly after having a collective breakdown over the absolute thin gruel they've been given. Look I... I promise things start happening soon just tough it...
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Episode 1 Act 1 Chapter 1: Stuck At Home
It's some kind of beginning as the chums delve into the first chapter of Homestuck and learn about its history as well as their own. Then it all goes to hell as they drown in opaque 90's references and impenetrable programmer jokes. It's gonna be a long project, folks. Plus: The present future of...
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Sburban Sprawl have?
Sburban Sprawl currently has 37 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Sburban Sprawl about?
Three friends of dubious expertise and experience attempt to read the entirety of Homestuck. One chapter at a time. Maybe at some point they'll even understand what's going on.
How often does Sburban Sprawl release new episodes?
Sburban Sprawl has 37 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Sburban Sprawl?
You can listen to Sburban Sprawl on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Sburban Sprawl?
Sburban Sprawl is created and hosted by sburbsprawl.
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