Schlockmasters

This time on Schlockmasters V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) discuss the Y2K cross cultural martial arts deep cut classic, Romeo Must Die, screen debut of the late great Aaliyah and Jet Li's first hollywood leading role. King of Iron Movie Tournament submissions close tonight so get in your last minute submissions while you still can. KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky Azi's way too long vertical resident evil video

In another installment of Schlockmasters actively trying to cultivate the worst SEO in podcasting, we are talking about a video game that was literallly never released. This time V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) discuss Polaroid Pete; the unreleased European English language prototype for the Japanese photography based Playstation 2 game, Gekibo 2. Sidenote: It wasn't until I finished the edit that I realized the photos in the game aren't even polaroids.  Also submissions for the King of Iron Movie Tournament will be closing on May 3rd, 2026 so get your entries in while you still can. KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky Azi's way too long vertical resident evil video

Never betray anyone unless you want to. On this episode of Schlockmasters V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) cover the 2022 wuxia revenge film the Flying Swordsman:  Out for Revenge also know as the Hidden Fox, and discuss complex revenge plots, chinese streaming services, and dramatic irony or lack thereof.  KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

This week V.V. (they/them) is joined by Damon Stallman to step into the world of anthropomorphic animal costumes with the independent film, Bitter Lake; Trust is a Fickle Thing, the first and seemingly only full length film shot with the entire cast in fursuits. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Damon's Bluesky Damon's Tumblr Damon's Twitter

Content Warnings: Extreme violence, discussions of real life misogyny and reactionary political extremism, and discussions of real life murders and suicides Live streams, murder, and square headed chumps. Schlockmasters is back to regularly scheduled programing and this time around V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) are discussing the found footage slasher film and Joe Keery vehicle, Spree. KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

Schlockmasters is gonna be returning to regular biweekly updates starting next month but in the mean time to tide you over, have this previously patreon exclusive interview with frequent guest Rathayibacter Toxicus. In the first Schlockmasters creator interview Valensa(they/them) talks to ttrpg designer Rathayibacter Toxicus(they/them) about their nightmarishly maximalist satirical war Funko Pop based war game, IMMORTAL Pop!bat 2: funK.O. (Definitive Edition). You can find IMMORTAL Pop!bat 2: funK.O. (Definitive Edition) here. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Rathayibacter's Bluesky Rathayibacter's Tumblr

Before Schlockmasters returns to regularly scheduled programing following our end of year break we are going to be doing a short series of mini episodes where the cast of Schlockmasters discuss the things they felt were especially worth celebrating from the previous year. For this first award V.V. Valensa has selected a game they've been playing nearly every day for the past year, Dragonsweeper by Daniel Benmergui, which can be found here https://danielben.itch.io/dragonsweeper  The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky  

For this Thing of the Year award V.V. Valensa (they/them) is joined by Damon Stallman (he/him) to sexualize the old men of Wake Up Deadman; A Knives Out Mystery. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Damon's Bluesky Damon's Tumblr Damon's Twitter

Note: This podcast was recorded january 24th, 2026. 2 days before the release of Highguard On this special episode host, V.V. Valensa (they/them) interviews the individuals behind the fake bluesky account for the online competetive videogame Highguard. These guests are listed below: -Nona (she/her) -Brie (she/her) @brie-r on Bluesky, Tumblr Pillowfort, Neocities, Wafrn, Website League and @BR on Mastodon -Rayna (they/she) -Zoey (she/her) @galvinian on Bluesky, Itch and @tenochre on Tumblr -Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) @rathayibactertoxicus on Bluesky, Tumblr, Itch Brie's itch.io Highguard Game Jam can be found here: https://itch.io/jam/highguard-jam The current Play Highguard parody Bluesky can be found here: https://bsky.app/profile/playhlghguard.bsky.social   The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon | Bluesky | Tumblr Valensa's Bluesky | Tumblr

Content Warnings: Homophobia, United States Politics On this special slightly belated US election season episode host V.V. Valensa (they/them) and guest Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) discuss the Amazon Prime Studios 2023 New Adult Romantic Comedy, Red White and Royal Blue. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Jane Mulcahy's Red White and Royal Blue video essays as mentioned in the episode cane be found here Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Rathayibacter's Bluesky Rathayibacter's Tumblr

This time on Schlockmasters V.V. (they/them) is joined by narrative designer Crowe Whitney AKA Hex Noblesse to talk about the indie table top role playing game EUREKA Investigative Urban Fantasy and discuss genre, mysteries, and monsters. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Eureka Itch page ANIM patreon Player vs. Monster: The Making and Breaking of Video Game Monstrosity Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Crowe's Bluesky

Content warning: Brief discussion of a real life case of suicide On this episode of Schlockmasters, Valensa (they/them) and Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) delve into the the odd little worlds of table top role playing game base horror and extremely midwestern no budget film, with 2001's Knight Chills. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Rathayibacter's Bluesky Rathayibacter's Tumblr

On this episode Valensa (they/them) and Azi (he/him) cover the excellent brand new indie run and gun platformer, Disaster Arms Impact Project B.A.H.N. and in the second half are joined by the game's developer, David Peters (he/they) for a conversation about the game's production and inspiration. You can find Disaster Arms on Steam here or Itch.io here Social Media Links David's Bluesky Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

Jack Black backshots, textual bisexuallity, and all around wretched vibes. On this episode Valensa (they/them) and Azi (he/him) cover the 2015 Jack Black/James Marsden black comedy/gay drama, The D Train. Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

In what might be the deep cut topic yet, Valensa (they/them) and Azi (he/him) talk about the South Korean web original mecha animated short film, Demian.  In this episode they have a discussion that covers giant robot tropes, korean animation history, streaming platform dumpster diving, and mischievious tricks played by one host onto another. Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

This week the show branches out from movies with Valensa (they/them) being joined by ttrpg designer Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) to discuss the 2006 indie table top game Don't Rest Your Head. They talk about indie TTRPG history, unreal nightmare worlds, and artifacts of pre-recession US politics. You can find Don't Rest Your Head here. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Rathayibacter's Bluesky Rathayibacter's Tumblr

Valensa (they/them) and Azi (he/him) discuss the oft forgetten and incredibly pre-9/11 Wesley Snipes vehicle, Passenger 57. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

Content Warnings: Discussion of racism, sexual assault, animal death, and violence In this episode V.V. Valensa (they/them) and special guest Azi (he/him) go on a wild meandering journey through the 18th century french country side as they discuss the incredibly distinctive 2001 french period horror/action/mystery film, Brotherhood of the Wolf, and it's striking aesthetics, questionable diversions, and surprising amount of kung fu. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky

Note: This podcast was recorded very soon after the G Quuuuuux finale and thus there are a couple things that come up in our discussion that have become out of date. Notably the trailer Mobile Suit Gundam Hathaway: The Sorcery of Nymph Circe was released after this recording where we discuss the film's troubled production. In this special episode Azi and Valensa talk about the most recent Gundam TV anime and discuss the experience of watching it week to week and especially discuss their feelings about the finale.

Content Warnings: Discussion of Homophobia, hate crimes, and abuse by medical professionals. Valensa and animator C.K. Korleski discuss horror luminary Clive Barker's dark fantasy horror adventure, Nightbreed. They talk about the film's legendary queer subtext, it's infamous edit situation, and the broader context of the hunky monster genre. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr CK's Instagram  

Content Warnings: Descriptions of fantasy violence In the first episode of the Schlockmasters podcast host V.V. Valensa (they/them) and special guest Azi (he/him) discuss the 1995 cult cyberpunk tokusatsu film, Mechanical Violator Hakaider, and talk about classic tokusatsu series, over the top rubber suit violence, questionable ideologies, and what does or does not get violated. The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2 Social Media Links Schlockmasters' Patreon Schlockmasters' Bluesky Valensa's Bluesky Valensa's Tumblr Azi's Bluesky