Episodes
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Ready, Set, Vent – I’m Back
The long national nightmare is over. I got off the couch and made a podcast. Everything is fixed now. You’re welcome.
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Sports Dorks – The Beatles Did Not Break Up
A quick appreciation of gambling brilliance before a nice winter’s nap. [S3E26]
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Sports Dorks – A Moment Of Silence
Frozen Testicles. Untainted Championships, 6 point teases. The cold weather has Scott & Andy separated yet walking in lockstep. [EP325]
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Sports Dorks – Swoop There It Is
Scott & Andy would like to take this episode description to give a hearty and salacious hello to Fairuza Balk in case she is listening. [S3E24]
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Sports Dorks – There’s No Crying in Podcasting
Join Scott & Andy on a parade as they take their talents to South Beach. Lay off the high ones and bring your own herring or Sheriff Gonna Getcha.
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Sports Dorks – Icarus the Painted Whore
Scott & Andy may be terrible at Myst but they’re great at Password. This flower power hug fest is not here to objectify women, but to get to the church on time. Don’t press send. Currahee! [EP322]
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Sports Dorks – Extra Chunky Christmas Special
Scott & Andy are joined by a mystery elf in this oversized stocking stuffer of sports grudges and more. Warning: You WILL get chlamydia. [EP321]
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Sports Dorks – The Armadillo or the Boot
Scott & Andy are just happy to be here bad touching Houston. You know the drill by now. Count the random Tony Bennet references! [EP320]
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Sports Dorks – Bobo The Clown
Get in the van for an episode that has it all. A trip to Niagara Falls, Indiana with Norwegian au pairs, testicle talk, and a surreal reveal that blew Scott & Andy’s minds.
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Sports Dorks – Marshall Marshall Marshall
Scott hits Andy in the nose with a football as they celebrate their ongoing hot streak. They have their cycles in sync and the drunk college kids are in the bleachers.
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Sports Dorks – You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby
Scott & Andy are reunited and it feels so good. Nobody is trading this slobberknocker of an episode for magic beans. Smoke up, Johnny and come smell my dogs. [EP317]
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Sports Dorks – Maybe He Had It Coming
Scott & Andy pass each other like two ships in the night. Two ships each griping about sports. [EP316]
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Sports Dorks – Another Shortie
This time it’s Andy’s fault. The episode may be short, but I hope you’re not sleeping on Scott and Andy’s profitable NFL picks. Make your money now before it all goes down in flames. [EP315]
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Sports Dorks – Fun Sized Episode
The magic of editing brings Scott & Andy together for a brief episode before Scott is potentially slaughtered in a haunted Maine hotel. Keep your fingers crossed.
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Sports Dorks – Charlotte’s Web of Lies
Scott and Andy waste their good drinking years talking about Grampa, bemoaning abysmal NFL rushing that has Walter Payton spinning in his grave, mourn Two Socks, and so much more. [S3E13]
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Sports Dorks – Nerd Joke
S3E12: Scott & Andy offer the option ‘Punch to the head or gut?’. We’re all going to jail, but at least we’re providing winning NFL picks.
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Sports Dorks – China Can Wait
S3E11: Scott is being held captive by bears in the deep woods of Maine but still gets his NFL picks in to Andy. Sometimes good things come in very small packages.
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Sports Dorks – To Ski Or Not To Ski
S3E10: Scott and Andy hold a funeral for the Bengals, give some surprising NFL Picks, Google Sammy Sosa’s pink hat, come out of an upbeat song for a little dog named Snuggles, and more. Go get ’em, Bing Bong!
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Sports Dorks – It’s Kind of in the Title
S3E9: Slobberknockers. Curtain Pullers. Somebody goes OFF on Bandwagon Cubs fans. (Hint: It wasn’t Scott.) Watch Andy get pissed off THEN get pissed on.
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Sports Dorks – Over 250 Wins in 30 Years
S3E8: Scott teaches Andy the shape of Maryland, and unlike Jewish cowboys there may be some questionable math skills on display.
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Sports Dorks – It’s a Map for Children
S3E7: Scott & Andy are more excited about their 0-1 football teams than you’d expect, so touch your knee to your torso and grab a phone number for a boat repairman. Truth is inconsequential.
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Sports Dorks – 15-1, Here We Come
S3E6: Scott gives Andy reason to be optimistic after the Bears loss, they open the Casino, decimate both a bad movie AND Koalas & much more.
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Sports Dorks – Laying on the Floor
What if I told you that Scott and Andy do forensics on their recent draft where crimes were committed? Then they drink wine and watch General Hospital with some cougars and Professor Barbenfouillis.
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Sports Dorks – Little Tiny Volkswagen Man
S3E4: Scott & Andy skip training camp and normal transitions to give a tip of the 40, hang with a sexual harassment bulldog, and make sure it gets properly brought. Or is it brung?
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Sports Dorks – Logger Pants
S3E3: Scott & Andy visit Redlegs Patchouli, reminisce about Benny from “L.A. Law”, and much more. If there was ever an episode for Brooks’ kid, this is the one.
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Sports Dorks – It’s NOT Puffer Fish
S3E2: Scott & Andy crash a quinceanera, do the Bus Stop, go to a clown party with a gorgeous hobo drifter woman and so much more. Gimme back my leg!
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Sports Dorks – Mountain Mama
S3E1: Scott & Andy celebrate the new podcast season, visit the moon, and respect the format. Listen now, or wait until Bill Simmons steals our ideas!
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Sports Dorks – Bubble Boy, Brah
EP247: Scott & Andy dick around on boogie boards, recap an ugly trip to Vegas, make butter sculptures andamore. Are you getting it? Farmageddon it?
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Sports Dorks – Hotdog Expert Gambler Person
S2E45: Scott & Andy demand a letter of apology from #ScottSecco, who has been hashtagged because they are serious. Move that dirt and APOLOGIZE!
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Sports Dorks – Andy’s Commentary Track for Frozen
S2E44: Hell froze over, and Andy finally watched Frozen. This is NOT for children. Synchronization instructions included. (Frozen / Copyright Walt Disney Co)
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Sports Dorks – Which One Is Sven?
S2E43: Scott & Andy get Frozen in the summer? Cubs baseball in November? Hotwings or Football? These puzzlers, and much more
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Sports Dorks – The Betrayal
S2E42: Scott & Andy, Mac Daddies, an underused Louie Anderson, Bronze Stalkers, a cruel and evil surprise, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – Helping Sgt. Ryan
Scott & Andy teach the primary colors, flee from the stalkers, deal with a bad floating accent, and more. Cocktail sauce at breakfast?
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Sports Dorks – Vermillion Carbon Footprint
S2EP40: Scott & Andy spend the entire episode in iambic pentameter. Or not. Plus, Peanut!
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Sports Dorks – Bring The Cow!
EP239: Scott & Andy agree that St. Louis is boring, make multiple references to The Outsiders, play poker with a German, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – I Hope Sharkie Is OK
Scott thinks everything is BS, Andy is sad and angry, and Swish is just…wow. The “T” stands for “The”. Or “Thornton Wilder”.
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Sports Dorks – Every Team Has Sick Kids
What hand pass? Join Scott & Andy as they ring the bells and cite Chaucer.
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Sports Dorks – Sharks Swim in Saltwater
EP236 Look Inward with Scott & Andy for dragon tactics, rigged refs, two yoots, boiling nitro, and more.
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Sports Dorks – Shasta Get Put Down
Take two steps back during a rain out and learn why Scott has never been more appropriately disappointed in Andy.
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Sports Dorks – Blood on the Ice
The greatest NHL Playoff game in history(?), cowboy hats, fawning over Robert Redford and Brad Pitt, and more.
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Sports Dorks – Staring Into The Abyss
Shake up the race with Scott & Andy as they invalidate trophies, learn about spreadsheets, wish for a mascot name named Milty, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – Utah Love
Rickie vs. Tiger. A lap sitting mascot. Notarized handshakes. Oki-Dogs. The Drew Wesley origin story. This episode has it all.
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Sports Dorks – Fancy Lads
Scott and Andy kvetch about losing baseball, concede brackets, and more. Mistakes are made. Plenty of mistakes.
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Sports Dorks – History Will Judge Us All
Scott & Andy get in a pickle at Kid Rock Stadium as they disappear into the 60’s while debating truth vs. embellishment. (You know these descriptions only make sense AFTER you’ve heard the episode, right?)
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Sports Dorks – Embrace The Tragedy
Scott & Andy talk chalk, Ichiro, the Captain Marvel/Shazam confusion, whether or not Tom Cruise shoplifted the pooty, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – Don’t Name The Mascot Oswald
Scott & Andy burn the footage, promote Rice Krispies, do basic math poorly, and more. Spoiler: Han Solo is dead.
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Sports Dorks – Raining Canned Hams
Join Scott and Andy as they solve the Jordan/LeBron GOAT confusion, kick it with some groovy baptists, shave points with Henry Hill, and more.
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Sports Dorks – Cubs Hackles
Scott and Andy wager over the upstart Reds, take a trip down Tobacco Road, lambaste the WORST MOVIE EVER, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – It’s NOT Gonna Be Gilly
Scott and Andy throw their hats on the ice, find a sports-book in Westeros, ride a motorscooter of shame, and so much more.
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Sports Dorks – Then Came Monday
Scott & Andy talk about a poker trip for Andy, take a virtual trip for spam & poi, take a good look at ‘The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh”, and so much more.