Secrets Worth Sharing

What does it look like to work in the childhood sexual abuse sector? What are the challenges, and the joys? And what does collective action look like in practice? Join Sophia (she/her), founder of Secrets Worth Sharing, in conversation with Sean (he/him), the director of To Zero, as they discuss.📝 Show Notes 📝To find the episode transcript, information about your hosts and additional tips & resources, check out our show notes.🎙️ Similar Episodes 🎙️Institutions and Child Sexual Abuse💜 Where To Find Us 💜Support the showSupport the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

How do war and conflict settings amply the risks of childhood sexual abuse? And what happens when attempts at aid and support increase harm to displaced and vulnerable children and young people? Join Sophia (she/her), founder of Secrets Worth Sharing, in conversation with Charu (she/her), the founder of the All Survivors Project, as they discuss.📝 Show Notes 📝To find the episode transcript, information about your hosts and additional tips & resources, check out our show notes.🎙️ Similar Episodes 🎙️Cultural Sensitivity and Childhood Sexual AbuseVietnamese Language and Childhood Sexual Abuse💜 Where To Find Us 💜Support the showSupport the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

How is the experience of childhood sexual abuse different for trans people? How is it the same? What are the current changes in how we talk about trans people in relation to childhood sexual abuse and how does it need to change? Join Sophia (she/her), founder of Secrets Worth Sharing, in conversation with Raf (they/them), a trans person and survivor of sexual harm, as they discuss.📝 Show Notes 📝To find the episode transcript, information about your hosts and additional tips & resources, check out our show notes.🎙️ Similar Episodes 🎙️Repeated Behaviours & Childhood Sexual AbuseSex, Sexuality and Queerness💜 Where To Find Us 💜Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

In this bonus episode, survivors Soniah and Sophia discuss how to end a conversation on childhood sexual abuse, after the filming of their episode on repeated behaviours.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

[DOS AND DONTS EPISODE] For many who were sexually abused by other children, it can be common to ‘repeat’ the behaviours that wronged them, oftentimes without even realising. How do we start to address and prevent this reality in a way that manages shame safely? In this very intimate and raw episode, Sophia discusses the notion of being ‘an imperfect survivor’ with Soniah. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

For many who were sexually abused by other children, it can be common to ‘repeat’ the behaviours that wronged them, oftentimes without even realising. How do we start to address and prevent this reality in a way that manages shame safely? In this very intimate and raw episode, Sophia discusses the notion of being ‘an imperfect survivor’ with Soniah. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

[Dos and Dont's episode] How can the harmful stereotypes surrounding Black Men prevent recognition, understanding and healing from sexual abuse? Join Sophia and filmmaker Davy as they discuss disclosing as an adult, remembering the past, adultification biases, and the journey to healing. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

How can the harmful stereotypes surrounding Black Men prevent recognition, understanding and healing from sexual abuse? Join Sophia and filmmaker Davy as they discuss disclosing as an adult, remembering the past, adultification biases, and the journey to healing.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

[DOS and DONTS Episode] How can sex work, when chosen and practiced safely, be a powerful tool to explore sexual feelings around abuse, and take control of humour? What can we learn from sex workers about body safety and talking with children? Join Sophia and sex worker Chelsea Peach as they discuss.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

How can sex work, when chosen and practiced safely, be a powerful tool to explore sexual feelings around abuse, and take control of humour? What can we learn from sex workers about body safety and talking with children? Join Sophia and sex worker Chelsey Peach as they discuss.IMPORTANT NOTE: By platforming Sex Work, we are not condoning children accessing porn and recognise that the mainstream porn industry is toxic and abusive. However, to prevent childhood sexual abuse, conversations on consent, sex and bodies need to happen in age appropriate ways, and who else better to share their thoughts on that than a sex worker who is also a parent! Our work will always be about platforming the diversity of survivor experiences, and some survivors engage in sex work and have very important lessons to share on how to practice these conversations safely. We might not agree with all the perspectives and on ways to do it , but there are things to learn from each person and recognise that not all survivors are a monolith.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

[DOs and DONTs Episode] How can the values of Christianity be used by abusers, and how can they also be used by some to aid healing? Sophia interviews survivor and Pastor Chioma Alade, as she shares her journey with the church and teaches on what forgiveness actually means for survivors of sexual abuse. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

How can the values of Christianity be used by abusers, and how can they also be used by some to aid healing? Sophia interviews survivor and Pastor Chioma Alade, as she shares her journey with the church and teaches on what forgiveness actually means for survivors of sexual abuse. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

[DOs and DONTs episode] When is it appropriate to use humour and comedy to talk about traumatic experiences like childhood sexual abuse? How can this actually help to educate us better about support? Join Sophia and comedian Jonny Pelham as he shares his experiences writing and performing his set for Live At the Apollo, which focused on his experiences of childhood sexual abuse. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

When is it appropriate to use humour and comedy to talk about traumatic experiences like childhood sexual abuse? How can this actually help to educate us better about suport? Join Sophia and comedian Jonny Pelham as he shares his experiences writing and performing his set for Live At the Apollo, which focused on his experiences of childhood sexual abuse.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on dating with Sophia's wonderful fiance Michael. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on Vietnamese with Rachel An Vu. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on British Asians with Dr Anuja. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on Deafness, Male Survivors and Female Abusers with Sabian. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on Institutions with Wren Knight. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and dont’s for talking about childhood sexual abuse’, this time focusing on Sex, Sexuality and Queerness with Dr Ray. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

A reflection of ‘dos and donts for talking about childhood sexual abuse', this time focusing on disclosing with Jeremy Indika. Original episode aired on YouTube. We hope you enjoy this segment while we are busy preparing for season 2 of the podcast! Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

We're taking a much needed break over the summer before we come back with our events programme. Before we do, we're leaving you with this bonus clip of Sophia and fiance Michael talking about when and if they should talk to their children about childhood sexual abuse. Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

In an extremely rare and intimate episode, Sophia interviews her fiancé Michael (also known as Tig), about how they have navigated triggers, the future, and disclosing to each other. This is the first time the two have exper discussed this part of their relationship publically. Note: These are the experiences of a cis m/f couple, where one person has experience of childhood sexual abuse and one doesn't. We know that this experience doesn't count for everyone, but we hope that through sharing this experience we can encourage similar discussions within other couples about what works best for them.  Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

This episode is better on youtube (watch it here) For many British Vietnamese people who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, a disclosure also comes with language and cultural barriers when translating their trauma across generations. In this very special bi-lingual episode, Sophia speaks to Rachel An Vu, a Vietnamese bi-lingual psychotherapist, about the importance of therapy, the challenges of having a disclosure conversation in Vietnamese, and advice on specific phrases you can say in both languages to communicate with your elders. TRANSLATION DISCLAIMER: In Vietnamese, the use of pronouns is essential for conveying your meaning and relationship with someone. To protect the anonymity of the people mentioned in this episode, we have opted to use the pronouns 'Elders', to represent all adults who have an older and responsible role in the family. Many of the phrases used are for an 'abuser in the family' context, but we have tried to use phrases that can apply to wider contexts and situations. A special thanks to Minh Huynh for providing the Vietnamese - English translations, and to Mai Phuong and Rachel An Vu for providing the English - Vietnamese translations. RESOURCES IN THIS EPISODEFind out more about Rachels WorkVietnamese Mental Health ServicesFind a Psychologist near you on Psychology TodayFind a Psychologist near you on UKCPSupport the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

What can child sexual abuse support services in the UK do to adapt to British Asian contexts? And why is this even important? Join Sophia in conversation with Dr Anujavahinie Suntharamoorthy, CAMHS psychiatrist and Director of ANBU UK, as they discuss Vietnamese and Eelam Tamil contexts. They touch on intergenerational trauma,  disclosing in cultural contexts, and advice for charities and services. ADDITIONAL RESOURCESANBU stands for 'Abuse Never Becomes Us', and envisages a future where Tamil people impacted by childhood sexual abuse can find their voiceFind out more about their work on the ANBU WebsiteInstagram: anbu.uk Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

PLEASE NOTE: A captioned and British Sign Language Interpretation version of this episode can be found on Youtube.How is the experience of childhood sexual abuse different for d/Deaf people? Join Sophia (she/her) in conversation with Sabian (he/him), a deaf entrepreneur as they talk about child-on-child abuse, female abuse, and ways of listening without hearing.Thank you to Gavin Lilley for providing the British Sign Language interpretations for this video, which you can access on Youtube, and to Hannah Daisy for recommending him. You can follow more of Sabian's work @theuberhuman on Instagram and Tiktok.RESOURCES MENTIONED BY SABIAN IN THIS EPISODEAcademic article about Black American Male perspectives of being abused by women.**Please note - in sharing resources mentioned by our co-hosts, we are not necessarily endorsing all of their content, but we do so to allow you to make up your own mind.Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

What role do institutions play in childhood sexual abuse? Are they always on the side of the person who experienced the abuse… or is it more often that they choose to cover up, which can often mean siding with the abuser? Is anything being done about this? Join Sophia (she/her) and Human Rights Lawyer Wren (she/her) as they discuss the criminal justice system, work, schools and reports that are trying to change this.DEFINITIONSDuring the episode, Wren uses some legal terminology which we will define here:Issued proceedings = The issuing of proceedings involves filling details of the claim, such as the Claim Form and Particulars of Claim, at court. The court will then serve this on the defendant for them to answer to. (Scott Rees) This usually costs money.Settled out of Court = In law, a settlement is a resolution between disputing parties about a legal case, reached either before or after court action begins.Actual knowledge = Actual knowledge is direct and clear knowledge where the relevant party knows of a particular item of event that causes a breach. In Wren’s case, this was that her school had seen harmful messages sent to her from her abuser.ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED The Independent Inquiry Into Childhood Sexual Abuse“In December 2021, the Home Office published a study into the costs relating to children whose contact sexual abuse began or continued in the year ending March 2019. The estimated cost to society exceeded £10 billion.”The Truth ProjectIf you would like more information on reporting and handling your own situation, head to the ‘resources’ section of our website.Key Messages from the CSA centre about Insitutional Childhood Sexual AbuseSupport the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

Questioning your sexuality, narratives around disclosing and coming out, physiological responses to abuse... regardless of whether you define as queer, these are all incredibly important narratives that affect many people who were sexually abused as children. But what are some additional barriers and experiences which particularly relate to queer people? Join Sophia (she/her) and Irish psychotherapist Dr Ray O'Neill (he/him) as they discuss. ---- DISCLAIMER: We know that there are many dimensions to queerness, sex and sexuality, which Sophia and Ray's lived experiences alone do not cover. This particular episode is geared around gay, cis-male experiences.  To broaden this narrative, our listening club for this episode is co-hosted by trans and non-binary facilitators, Lou (they/them) and Elijas (they/them) as well as queer people of colour, Bava (she/her). We hope to record some more perspectives on this in future episodes.  ------ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:Wolfenden Report (mentioned by Ray), which recommends that: "homosexual acts between two consenting adults should no longer be a criminal offence" Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

Sometimes, we have to make some very hard decisions about what content makes the final cut. But in this case, we thought it would be good to share a frank conversation between Jeremy (he/him) and Sophia (she/her) about prosecuting and confronting their abusers. Jeremy tells us about how he tried to prosecute his abuser, and failing this, how he knocked on the abuser's door... Support the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.

In the world of childhood sexual abuse, 'disclosing' means to tell someone that you have been through this experience. But how do you get up to that point, should you even tell someone, and what happens if you do? Join Sophia Luu (she/her) and Jeremy Indika (he/him) for personal stories of their first disclosures, some common responses they have received, and the experience of going public. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Jeremy's Platform: https://jeremyindika.com/Link to Jeremy's interview with the neurologist: https://youtu.be/CzCEyxQag84 A template, from the CSA Centre, about finding and responding to signs of childhood sexual abuse: Signs & Indicators Template - CSA CentreSupport the showYou can find out more about the project at www.secretsworthsharing.com We're on Instagram and TikTok if you want to see more. You can also sign up to our newsletter.Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.