Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Two things can be true at the same time. I am grateful to be alive long enough to go through menopause. I am also furious about how little we are told about what happens to our genitals as we age.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, after nearly 200 episodes, I finally said the words “clitoral atrophy” out loud. Mindset and lifestyle coach Tanya Leake joined me to walk through what actually happens. Falling estrogen thins the tissues. Blood flow drops. The clitoris becomes less sensitive, takes longer to wake up, and sometimes goes quiet. In some cases, the hood fuses over the head of the clitoris. There is a name for it. Clitoral adhesion. Most women have never been told this is a thing. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Many men who grew up in conservative households never received a sex education. Instead, they got silence, or shame, or a marriage arranged before they knew what desire even was. That silence can follow them for decades.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Joe Bains, a London-based biohacker and tantra practitioner, about what seven years at a tantra school taught him about intimacy, orgasms, and why your health is the biggest aphrodisiac there is.Joe came from a background where sex simply didn’t exist as a conversation. Now he’s multi-orgasmic, and he has a lot to say about how you get there.Here’s what we cover:* Why biohacking is just optimisation, and why it matters more to your sex life than you think* What “internal orgasms” actually are and how men learn to have them* Why health is the single most powerful driver of desire at midlife* How “how you do anything is how you do everything” applies directly to your sex life (even sweeping the floor!)* What it takes to escape a background of total sexual silence and start againFollow Joe here:WebsiteYouTubeFacebookLinkedInReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Most couples dealing with erectile dysfunction have no idea what else to do. So they rely on pills, which turns sex into a performance. Nobody’s having pleasure. They’re just trying to recreate what worked when they were 17.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Amy Color, intimacy and relationship coach with 20 years of experience, about why couples therapy so often makes things worse, what intimacy actually means, and why penetration is a man’s least effective move. She built her entire method because she couldn’t find anyone who could help her own marriage. Now she turns couples around in six weeks.Here’s what we cover:* Why couples therapy can feel like “a slow, expensive divorce.”* The real difference between love, sex, and intimacy* Why is erectile dysfunction quietly destroying men’s lives* How to explore whole-body pleasure that actually works at midlife* Why scheduling intimacy isn’t unromantic. It’s how you make it happenFollow Amy here:* Instagram* Facebook* LinkedIn * YouTube* Amy’s TED TalkReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s a side effect of prostate cancer surgery that almost no one warns men about – until it hits them in the bedroom. I’ve had more than one partner discover something was seriously wrong only after they lost their erections, and I’ve since learned they’re far from alone.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Jon Plate from Nordic Stem Cells about what he calls the “silent aftershock” of radical prostatectomy and why so many men are left to quietly grieve their sex lives while everyone tells them they should just be grateful to be alive. We also get into a new stem‑cell approach that claims to do more than just offer another pill or pump.Here’s what we cover:* The hidden sexual fallout of prostate cancer surgery* Why doctors gloss over erection problems – and how that feels for men* Shame, ageism, and why older couples stop asking for help* A stem‑cell treatment that aims to fix the cause, not just the symptoms* What men and partners should be asking before and after surgeryReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s no cut-off point when it comes to understanding what you like in bed as my guest on this week’s podcast, Kathy Kay, discovered. Kathy is, for those who know their podcasters, the wildly successful New York based host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and what a treat it was to have her come on Sex Advice for Seniors.Over 11 years, she has been collecting anonymous sexual confessions. Over 1300 of them and guess what? (She makes my 180+ episodes seem pedestrian, in comparison!). The over 60s are consistently her most surprising guests, with many in their 70s confessing that it was only recently they discovered their sexual preferences.There’s a couple in her new book, Secret Sex Lies of Total Strangers, who met after their spouses died and built a sex barn in their backyard. In their 70s. Neither of them saw it coming and they’re having a blast.Here’s what we cover:* Couples in their 70s having the best sex of their lives* The sex barn story you won’t forget in a hurry* Why open relationships are often closer than conventional ones* Men with decades of secrets and what finally changes at 50* Why desire grows as you get older, not the other way roundTo see exclusive photos of Kathy’s female guests, gain access to her private Discord channel where conversations get extra naughty, hear anonymous confessions, and receive all episodes early and ad-free, listeners can join the Strictly Anonymous Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcastKathy’s book, Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers—a collection of short, super sexy, true stories—is now available for pre-order. Get a copy here.To join SDC and receive a free trial, click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or visit SDC.com and use code 37712.Call the Confessions Hotline at 347-420-3579 (available 24/7). All voices are changed to ensure anonymity.Follow along:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=enWebsite: http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/All links: https://linktr.ee/StrictlyanonymouspodcastMy new program for men with Erectile Dysfunction. Check it out here, current introductory offer only $49.99 https://www.stayfirmprogram.comUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Ever wondered why some men in their 60s and 70s are secretly upgrading their cocks for bigger, harder confidence? Yup, it’s a thing. This episode features Chris Bustamante, known online as Injector Chris, a New York nurse practitioner who’s made a name helping men look and feel better below the belt. He’s down to earth, straight talking and not shy about the fact that for lots of men size matters for self-esteem as much as for sex.We talk about the treatments men are asking for and what actually works if you want to make your penis bigger, firmer, and more responsive, all without surgery or gimmicks.Here’s what to expect:Girth filler that adds real volume, both hard and softThe P-Shot using high-concentration PRP for stronger erectionsPenile Botox for quicker, fuller blood flowScrotal filler for men on testosterone who’ve lost volumeChris has seen how these procedures can transform not just bodies but confidence and relationships.Listen in - it’s candid, eye-opening, and might change how you think about ageing, pleasure, and performance.Ready to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Have you ever turned down a pool party because you didn’t want to be seen in a swimsuit? Avoided intimacy because you couldn’t stop thinking about your body? Junie Moon spent decades doing exactly that.Junie is a love coach who works primarily with women in the second half of life. She helps them navigate dating, starting over, and learning to want themselves again. But before she could do any of that work for others, she had to do it for herself. So in 2016, she did something most of us would never consider: she had her naked body painted by internationally known body painter Andy Golub, filmed the whole thing, and turned it into a mini documentary called Shed the Shame.It didn’t start as a grand statement. Junie had a live streaming show and Andy was a guest. Mid-conversation, she asked if he’d paint her body while they filmed. He said yes. And then the dread set in.Her stomach went into knots. Andy paints naked people. What was she doing? She spent a month sitting with the question: was this for attention, or was there a real message here? The answer came when she realised there was more risk in not doing it. She had already missed out on pool parties, beach trips, living freely in her own skin. The fact that she could even consider standing naked in front of a camera meant something had already shifted.She decided to go all in and she hired a videographer. She screened the resulting short at film festivals, sat in a cinema watching herself on a huge screen, naked. Not because she felt perfect but because healing is possible, and she wanted to prove it.What she found wasn’t perfection. It was about the fact that she’d given herself permission.That’s the word that keeps coming up in Junie’s work. Not transformation, not a before-and-after, but permission. Permission to take up space. Permission to let someone touch you. Permission to be seen, imperfect and whole at once. Her partner tells her he loves every inch of her, every curve. She can receive it, she says, because she’s done enough of her own work to mostly believe it.“My body is a vehicle,” she says. “It’s holding my beautiful spirit.” But there’s a lot of old messaging, she adds, that tells us we’re not enough. Her work is helping women trace that messaging back to its roots and stop letting it make decisions for them.It’s the same work I’ve been doing in my own way. I’ve been going to Cap d’Agde, a naturist village in the south of France, for years. Forty thousand naked people wandering around, shopping, cycling, living. (If you’ve never been there, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience!). And what you see quickly is that no one looks like the magazines. The women who look perfect in clothes have stretch marks. Everyone’s got something going on. It’s the single most effective cure for body shame I’ve ever found.Junie agrees. She’s done nude beaches herself. Seeing real, unfiltered bodies in their every shape and size just brings you back to reality, she says. The body is unique and beautiful and different. And even the people you’d wish you looked like have their own insecurities.That’s the whole message. Not that we have to love what we see in the mirror every day. But that we can stop being at war with it.Key Takeaways* Body shame isn’t a personal failure. It’s old programming, and it can be reprogrammed.* Seeing real, unfiltered bodies, at nude beaches, in documentaries, in honest conversation, is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame.* You don’t have to believe you’re beautiful every day. You just have to stop letting the belief that you’re not run your choices.* Confidence is the most attractive quality in any room, at any size, at any age.* You can keep your clothes on during sex and still feel fully seen. Do what works for you.* Movement connects directly to desire. When we move our bodies, we move our energy. Everything wakes up.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Walk into an AARP event expecting walkers and wheelchairs. Leave rethinking everything you thought you knew about senior dating. That was Dr. Gilda Carle’s experience, and she has never looked at this age group the same way since.Gilda spent eight years as a columnist and spokesperson for Match.com, writing the widely read Ask Dr. Gilda column. When the company sent her to a Washington DC event for AARP members, she assumed she’d be done in five minutes. “I thought these people were going to be so over the hill,” she told me. “I’m going to make my presentation and five minutes later I’ll be out of the door.”Standing room only. A packed auditorium. Questions coming faster than she could answer them. These were not people with one foot in the grave.The women’s burning question? How do I find a man who drives at night? Gilda responded by asking every man in the room to raise his hand. What followed, she says, was a mob scene.The men had a different concern. They didn’t want their age displayed on the platform. One man made the argument with complete confidence. Short, bald, slightly bent. Ninety-two years old. He told Gilda he liked to date women in their sixties, and that he had what it takes. She believed him. She went back to Match and lobbied on his behalf. They declined.From there, our conversation covers a lot of ground. Gilda talks about why she walked out mid-sentence on a date who had shown up twenty years older than his profile claimed. (She had given a fake name online for safety: Sparkle. He chased her out of the restaurant calling after her. Loudly.) We discuss a Bumble study showing women are now dating ten years younger on average, and why their younger partners are enthusiastic about it. And Gilda shares the story of a PhD psychologist who found love by reading the obituaries, tracking down recently widowed men in her neighbourhood, and arriving with casseroles. One of them married her.We also get into something I hear about constantly from women my age. Men who retire without hobbies, without purpose, without much to offer in a conversation. Gilda shares a statistic that stuck with me: people who retire with nothing to replace the work tend to live only seven more years afterward. The grind ends and there is no plan for what comes next. That’s not just a health problem. It’s visible when you meet someone. It’s not attractive.Gilda’s position is simple: get vital before you try to get seen. Work out. Present well. Have a life. Know who you are. Because older women, as she points out, already do. We have done the difficult relationships, made the mistakes, and come out the other side with something younger women often cannot offer: directness, self-knowledge, and zero interest in playing games.Jane Seymour said she has had the best sex of her life at 74. Four husbands, one brilliant partner, no judgment, no interference. That is the standard Gilda is holding out for. Honestly, so am I.What Matters* Ageist algorithms are real. Lying about your age online is a rational response to being made invisible, not a character flaw.* Women’s top priority in senior dating is vitality, not youth, not money. Vitality. Men who let themselves go are not losing out to the competition. They are losing out to indifference.* Men who retire without purpose often become dependent on a partner for entertainment. It shows in every interaction, and it is not appealing.* Older women are increasingly dating younger, and the men are into it. Bumble data confirms it. Transparency and confidence are the draw.* One woman read the obituaries to find love. She brought casseroles. It worked. Do not dismiss unconventional approaches.* Essence matters more than age. The goal is to find someone who wants your presence, not your practicality.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Most couples have their story memorised. When they met, what went wrong, why things aren’t what they used to be. They’ve told it so many times it feels like a fact.And that’s the problem.Dr. Dan Sneider is a couples therapist and the founder of IntimacyShift.com. He works with two distinct groups of older people: couples who’ve been together for decades, and people starting over in their 50s and 60s but carrying years of history with them. Both tend to arrive stuck in the same way, often telling a story about their relationship that stopped being accurate a long time ago.One of Dan’s favourite tools comes from researchers John and Julie Gottman. He calls it the Story of Us. He asks couples to tell the story of their relationship and he says, that most have it memorised. That, he says, is where the work begins because if part of that story is “the passion faded,” that belief is now embedded, and better communication alone won’t shift it.We also talked about something I personally found frightening in my marriage : disclosing my desires. Not the everyday stuff but the wants you’ve kept quiet about for years, maybe decades. The ones that feel genuinely risky to say out loud.Dan’s approach isn’t to say everything at once. He talks about volume knobs. Turning down the fear a little, not eliminating it and scheduling regular time to talk about intimacy the same way you’d schedule the gym. Building safety in small stages rather than waiting for a perfect moment that never comes.We got into conflict too. Specifically, why couples who live for big dramatic ups and downs are actually hardwiring themselves for pain. You know, the stuff of which movie romances are made. The repair is harder and the dopamine hit of drama becomes part of what they expect from love. Dan’s antidote sounds deceptively simple: I-language. “I feel unseen” instead of “you never.” It changes everything about how the repair goes.Dan uses emotionally focused therapy, a model developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. He recommended her book Hold Me Tight to anyone who wants to understand it. The model runs 12 to 20 sessions, and Dan is refreshingly transparent about this: if you’re not seeing progress within that window, more sessions won’t fix it.He also runs a 12-week online programme through IntimacyShift.com for couples who can’t access therapy locally or want to do the work on their own schedule. Yes, it’s expensive and that’s the point. Couples who invest are the ones who show up and do the work.There’s a free tool on his website as well: a six-step framework for unlocking intimate conversations. A good place to start if everything else feels like too much right now.What Matters* The story you tell about your relationship shapes how you feel about it. It can be rewritten.* Disclosing desires doesn’t require going all in at once. Build safety in stages.* Schedule intimacy conversations like any other practice that matters to you.* Fight with I-language, not you-language. The repair is easier, and so is the making up.* Rebuilding after infidelity or betrayal is possible. Dan has seen it happen.* Emotionally focused therapy runs 12 to 20 sessions. That’s the research-backed window for lasting change.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able at https://sexadviceforseniors.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s a version of male ageing that’s become so familiar we’ve stopped questioning it. Energy drops. Interest fades. The man who used to be the life of the party just… stops showing up. His partner wonders where he went. He probably wonders too.Dan Leach hears this story constantly.Dan runs Valens Health, a UK-based hormone optimisation clinic focused on men’s health, though as our conversation made clear, hormones are very much a shared concern. His path into this work started personally, noticing his own vitality shifting in his 40s and finding that mainstream medicine didn’t have much to offer beyond a shrug. So he built something that did.The core problem, he explained, is that conventional medicine is set up to treat disease. Hormonal decline in men involves gradual drops in testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid from age 40 onward. It often doesn’t register as pathology. The numbers land inside the “normal range.” The patient gets sent home. Nothing changes.But the normal range is enormous. And there’s a significant difference between landing somewhere in that range and being where you were in your prime.That distinction is what Valens Health is built around. Dan calls it hormone optimisation rather than replacement: finding where each person actually functions best, not just keeping them out of the red zone.The testosterone conversation tends to carry a lot of baggage. People hear the word and think aggression, shortcuts, something vaguely illicit. Dan’s reframe is simple: testosterone doesn’t make you someone else. It makes you more of who you already are. If your energy has dropped off, your libido has gone quiet, you’ve lost motivation and muscle mass: it amplifies what’s been suppressed. The lights come back on.I’ve been taking prescription testosterone myself for a few months now, and the difference has been real. Better focus. More physical stamina. More interest in things generally, including sex. I wouldn’t have discovered it through a doctor. I found out through a friend. That’s a story I hear far too often.One thing I hadn’t known about before talking to Dan: DHEA. It’s not a hormone most people have heard of, but it plays a critical role in whether your body can actually use the testosterone it has. Some men have reasonable testosterone levels and still feel terrible, because the activation pathway isn’t working. DHEA is essentially the key that turns the lock. Adding it, Dan said, tends to produce a fast, noticeable effect.Thyroid rounds out the picture. It sets the pace for your entire metabolism. When it drops, even to a level that still reads as “normal” on a standard test, everything slows: mood, energy, concentration, libido. Optimising all three together is where people start describing themselves as feeling 30 again at 57.There’s also a serious health reason not to ignore this. Dan was clear that unreliable erections aren’t just a sex problem. They’re a cardiovascular signal. Around 80% of men who start experiencing them regularly will go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years. It’s worth paying attention to.Valens Health works remotely, which Dan says most patients actually prefer. It starts with a free consultation and comprehensive bloodwork. The premium package, a dedicated doctor and ongoing optimization for a full year, runs £1,800, payable in instalments.Dan put it simply toward the end of our conversation: isn’t life about feeling as good as we can? Most men have been told the answer is no, that decline is just the deal. It doesn’t have to be.Key Takeaways* Testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid all decline from age 40 onward. “Within normal range” doesn’t mean optimal.* DHEA helps the body activate testosterone. Some men have adequate levels but can’t use them properly.* Unreliable erections are a cardiovascular signal, not just a sex problem. Around 80% of men who experience them regularly go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years.* Testosterone doesn’t cause aggression. It amplifies who you already are.* Valens Health works remotely. The premium programme is £1,800/year, payable in instalments.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to my sexy stories, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

You’re not past it. You may even be approaching your peak.A psychiatrist just told me that women tend to reach their highest sexual satisfaction at 64. I’m 64. And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the opposite message, that desire fades, that this is the time to wind down, that the body just stops cooperating.Dr. Shila Patel has been listening to patients talk about sex, relationships, and desire for 25 years. She grew up in Kenya, went to medical school in England, and spent the bulk of her career practicing psychiatry in the American South before retiring at 51. When the pandemic hit and the Me Too movement was at its peak, she started writing. Two books later, she’s on a mission to reach people that one-on-one clinical work never could.She’s also nearly 70, still sexually active, and completely unapologetic about both.What struck me most in our conversation wasn’t just the 64 statistic - which I found astounding (I hadn’t ever heard before!), it was the context. Because while women are approaching their sexual peak, men are often stepping back. Erectile dysfunction, reduced interest, withdrawal. Dr. Patel saw this pattern constantly in clinical practice, and she sees it in her own life and I’ve certainly seen it in my own. Women in her condominium complex, all roughly her age, laugh and joke about it. It’s a real thing. And most women, she says, just go quiet and accept it.That acceptance is partly cultural. Dr. Patel grew up in Indian culture, where sex was not discussed. Full stop. Not by parents, not between siblings, not even now. At 70, she and her sister have never once discussed whether either has had an orgasm. She described watching a preview of a Bollywood film where a group of women, talking about an upcoming wedding, couldn’t form the word for orgasm. They landed on “intense pleasure.” She said it with affection and exasperation in equal measure.But she’s quick to say this isn’t an Indian problem, or an Asian problem. It’s a human problem. Americans of her generation were raised the same way. Her 91-year-old mother still tenses slightly when hugged. The silence around sex, pleasure, and desire crosses every culture she encountered in 25 years of clinical work.What can be done about it? Quite a lot, actually.Dr. Patel was frank about her own experience with vaginal atrophy and vaginismus after a hysterectomy and the way the body can, as she put it, just close up. Her gynaecologist prescribed estradiol cream, and it changed everything. Lubrication, libido, comfort. It also dramatically reduces UTIs and vaginal infections, something most women are never told. I have my own version of this story: I found out about vaginal estrogen from a friend, not a single healthcare professional. When I complained about painful sex, she asked if I was on vaginal estrogen. I was angry that no doctor had mentioned it.If you’re avoiding sex because it hurts, or because desire has gone quiet, it’s worth asking about estradiol cream/pessaries or ring. It has certainly changed my life.Dr. Patel’s bigger message is about permission. Permission to still want sex at 70. Permission to tell your partner what you need — including that if they’ve stepped back, you might need to look elsewhere for that connection. Permission to adapt: different positions, more patience, a lot of laughter, and no more hanging off the chandeliers.She said it plainly: we only go through this life once. Are you going to make the most of what you enjoy?Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I unpack my long-held scepticism about so‑called “orgasm techniques” and the pressure on women to climax in multiple ways. Then I speak to Steve Bodansky, co‑creator of Extended Massive Orgasm (EMO), a practice focused on clitoral stimulation, deep relaxation, and “peaking” (edging) to prolong pleasure.We explore how extended orgasm works, why relaxation matters more than effort, and how orgasmic capacity can grow with practice — even into your 70s and 80s. We also talk about aging, self‑pleasure, conditioning the body for pleasure, and what it really means to invest in your sexual wellbeing for the long term. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Can a marriage survive infidelity?This week I spoke with Renelle Nelson, a licensed marriage and family therapist who’s spent 11 years specialising in affair recovery. She helps couples rebuild after betrayal, when everything’s shattered and nobody knows where to start.Turns out infidelity isn’t just sex outside the marriage. It’s anytime you go outside your relationship to get pleasure that should be shared within it. Money. Communication. Emotional affairs. Physical ones. Renelle prefers the word “betrayal” because it’s more accurate. You break contracts you didn’t realise you’d signed.Here’s the thing nobody talks about: it’s not a male sport anymore. In her practice, men and women cheat in equal numbers. Women are leaving marriages after raising kids, after becoming empty nesters. The emotional labour falls heavily on them. Sometimes an affair is escape from domesticity. Not dissatisfaction. Escape.So what does affair recovery actually look like?Different from regular marriage counselling, for starters. More talking won’t prevent betrayal. More sex won’t prevent it. More date nights won’t prevent it. The only things that stop betrayal are communication and not wanting to do it. That’s it.Renelle’s approach: you can’t heal what you can’t reveal. She works with the person who cheated first. Who did they become? What need were they trying to meet? Then she works with the person who stayed. Both deserve healing. Neither caused the affair, but both are responsible for their part in the marriage moving forward.I asked whether opening a relationship after betrayal ever works.Her answer was direct: it doesn’t. Couples who open relationships successfully do so from trust and solid foundation. Starting that journey on a lie, with one partner settling because they can’t keep the other person faithful, almost always fails. If you can’t communicate basic needs with one person, adding more people just multiplies the chaos.My favourite bit? Renelle’s seeing younger couples come to therapy after dating a month, maybe two. They want to learn how to communicate before problems arrive. They’re treating therapy as education, not crisis management. They want enhancement, exploration, education, eroticism. That last one matters most.Eroticism is what’s missing in long-term relationships, she said. When it leaves, people turn to porn. When you think you know everything about your partner, desire dries up.Literally.As Renelle put it: “When you think you know it all, that means you dried up. You’re not getting hard or wet.”Fair point.What Matters* Women cheat just as much as men now. The numbers are equal.* Affair recovery heals individuals first, then the relationship.* You can’t heal what you refuse to reveal. Truth comes before repair.* Opening relationships after betrayal rarely works. Trust must exist first.* Eroticism sustains long-term desire. Mystery matters more than familiarity.* Younger couples seek therapy as prevention. That’s actual progress.Check out these resources from Renelle:The Pleasure Agenda: Couples Edition Undated PlannerPleasure After Betrayal: Aftercare Edition Undated PlannerThe Couple’s Connection DeckConnect with RenelleWebsite https://renellenelson.thinkific.com/InstagramFacebookUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Ever wondered what it’s like to hire a matchmaker?This week I spoke with Tammy Shaklee, a heterosexual woman who specialises in matching LGBTQ+ clients over 50. She’s spent 14 years helping gay and lesbian singles find serious relationships.It goes without saying, I was curious to hear how she got her start. Turns out, after her divorce, Tammy hired a matchmaker and met her husband. Years later, a gay friend said he wished there was a matchmaking service for gay men who valued privacy. Tammy assumed one existed. She researched for 24 hours, pretending to be a 40-year-old gay physician looking for a dignified way to meet professionals online.She found nothing dignified.That’s when she realised matchmakers weren’t serving the LGBTQ community at all. Being entrepreneurial, she built a service exclusively for gay and lesbian singles seeking serious relationships called H4M.The biggest problem she encountered? Older gay men, it is assumed, want younger partners. Younger men want financial support. If you’re seeking someone your own age with similar stability, you’re stuck. App for gay men are more often than not hookup platforms. They don’t work for finding real compatibility. That’s where matchmakers come in - introducing you to people you’d never meet on your own.My favourite story of Tammy’s? A 66-year-old widow called Tammy, bursting with enthusiasm. She’d just spoken with her parents in their late 90s, still independent, still in love, still caring for each other. “I realised I have a 30-year relationship in front of me. We need to get started.” Tammy matched her twice. She met someone and never needed another introduction.Tammy’s filter for clients: “Would I have you at my holiday table? Would I set you up with my siblings?” She turns people away if she’s not the right fit, then helps them find someone who is.Cost: Thousands, not tens of thousands. She starts with a phone call. If the decision i is made to work together, Tammy will introduce you to one new person per month. She manages venues, reservations, and feedback calls. The process continues until one match clicks.The takeaway: “When you love the life you’ve built, that’s magnetic. People want kindness and someone happy with what they have.” Contentment attracts. Desperation repels. Don’t we know it?!What Matters* You might have 30 years left. Do the math on your own life.* People want partners who like their lives, not people who hate theirs.* Apps are hookup tools now. Use different tools for serious relationships.* Interview your matchmaker. Ask: Would they have you at their holiday table?* Enthusiasm wins. Hope beats pessimism every time.Connect with TammyWebsite https://www.h4m.com/Instagram H4M MatchmakingFacebook https://www.facebook.com/H4MMatchmakingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@H4MMatchmakingUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship for years (or decades), there’s a good chance this sentence will feel uncomfortably familiar: “We haven’t had sex in years, and I don’t know how to fix it.”That’s exactly why this week’s episode of Sex Advice for Seniors hits such a very familiar nerve for me, because it speaks to my own experience.My guest, Elana Auerbach, didn’t come on the podcast with a tidy theory or a list of bedroom “tips.” She came with something far more useful: a lived solution and I’m all about practical ways to fix everyday problems. After nearly twelve years of frustration, mismatched desire, and quietly building resentment in her marriage, Elana and her husband found their way back to intimacy through something surprisingly simple: a weekly, scheduled pleasure practice she now calls The Sure Thing .Yes, scheduled sex. You know, the type of sex I harp on about infinitum. In fact, as I openly shared in the conversation, putting intimacy in the diary can be deeply liberating. When the time is protected, there’s no negotiating, no wondering if tonight is “the night,” no mental load filled with grocery lists or laundry. The body and brain get advance notice: this time is for pleasure. For many women, especially as we agem anticipation alone can gently press our internal intimacy accelerator, much like a car long forgotten in the garage. Once neglected and dust-covered, it’s now a vehicle we’ve chosen to repair, restore, and bring back to life.What makes Elana’s approach refreshing is that it removes performance pressure entirely. The intention isn’t orgasm. Sex isn’t mandatory. Penetration isn’t the goal. The only aim is to deepen intimacy, pleasure, and connection. Sometimes that leads to sex. Sometimes it doesn’t. And paradoxically, that’s exactly why it works.A big turning point in the episode is the discussion around responsive desire - the very normal experience of not feeling “in the mood” until touch, closeness, or sensual context begins. Many older women assume their libido has disappeared when in reality it’s simply waiting for the right conditions. A kiss on the neck. Lying in bed together. Holding hands. Small things that let the nervous system relax and say, oh, yes, this feels good.Perhaps most powerful of all is Elana’s insistence that this practice doesn’t depend on having a willing partner. There’s a “solo Sure Thing” too, a reminder that pleasure, connection, and kindness toward our own bodies are not things we earn through relationship status.If intimacy has quietly slipped out of your life, this episode is a hopeful place to start. And if you think scheduled pleasure sounds unromantic, you might just discover it’s the most freeing thing you’ve tried in years.🎧 Listen to the full episode of Sex Advice for Seniors to hear Elana’s story, her practice, and why pleasure might be one of the most underrated forms of medicine we have.The Sure Thing is out on 3rd February. Order your copy here:00:00 Introduction to Sexual Frustration in Long-Term Relationships01:01 The Birth of the ‘Sure Thing’ Practice05:16 Scheduling Intimacy: A Path to Liberation08:12 Overcoming Resentment and Reconnecting09:26 The Solo Sure Thing: Self-Exploration and Pleasure11:59 Building Communication Through Rituals12:25 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire16:28 The Power of Small Touches18:16 Pleasure as Medicine: The Benefits of Intimacy21:35 Navigating Imbalances in Desire24:19 Starting Small: The Importance of Daily Connection24:57 The Release of ‘The Short Thing’ Book26:50 Kindness and Intention in RelationshipsThe Sure Thing is available from 3rd February. You can buy it from Amazon here.On similar topic, you may also want to check out this episode. Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure?In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood.Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom.A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame.🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration12:45 The Importance of Orgasms15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions31:37 Ending the Cycle of ShameUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I’m a big believer that we can receive good advice from anyone, regardless of their age. Emma Shandy Anway is a West Coast-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in relational and sex therapy. Although in her mid thirties, she has extensive experience working with couples aged 50+ and, during this episode, we discussed her work specifically with those aged 70+. Having chatted several weeks ago with Dr. Susan Campbell, herself in her 80s, about her sex life, I was curious on how someone fifty years her junior approaches the topic with her older clients because I have found that lived experience counts for a huge amount and sometimes those who have no concept of what it means to be older fall into familiar tropes and stereotypes that have no bearing on reality.I can’t say that about Emma whose approach with her older patients clearly demonstrates an openness and eagerness to help them embrace their sexual selves, whether that means exploring open relationships, kink or simply learning how to be a better lover to each other. As Emma says, age, illness and changing bodies do not have to mean the end of a vibrant sex life; the biggest shifts are in mindset, communication and willingness to experiment.​What I know is that it is never too late to learn, explore or rewrite your sexual story, as long as you genuinely want to and are prepared to be curious, honest and kind with yourself and your partner.You can find Emma here:https://www.esacounseling.com/abouthttps://www.instagram.com/pennyboardpsychHere’s a Yes/No/Maybe checklist I consider to be particularly comprehensive:You can find the episode with Dr. Susan Campbell here:Chapters00:00 Introduction to Sexuality in Later Life01:44 Understanding the Motivations for Seeking Therapy06:53 Redefining Good Sex: From Okay to Magnificent12:06 Navigating Disappointment and Apathy in Relationships16:19 Body Confidence and Aging: Embracing Change23:09 Exploring Alternative Relationships and Sexuality27:47 Communication Tools for Sexual ExplorationUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

As soon as I saw Dr. Nikki Monti’s photo, an older woman with her streak of blue in her dark hair, I thought, we’re going to get along. A psychotherapist, who also calls herself a ‘thought healer,’ Nikki has appeared on a variety of high profile TV shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians and recently published a memoir, ‘The Divine Traumedy of Nicki Joy: A True Grime Tale.’ This is a woman with a colourful past that includes three marriages, the first two short and chaotic, intertwined with drugs, alcoholism, violence and very brutal sex, which she now sees as reflecting how badly she treated herself. Her third lasted three decades and ended with the death of her partner, who following a prostatectomy, decided sex was over for both of them. Without wishing to spoil this very lively episode, her current partner, whom also had a prostatectomy, chose a very different path, embracing creativity, sensuality and adaptation, and with him she describes having the best sex of her life.Nikki is the living embodiment of my catchphrase ‘desire never retires’ and proof that, as she says, “older people can have rich sex lives if they stay in their bodies and stop running from themselves.” I encourage you to have a listen. You can find Dr. Nikki Monti here:https://www.instagram.com/drnickimontiAll her books and her website is available here:https://stucknomore.com/books/01:43 Exploring Relationships and Marriages04:20 Lessons from Past Marriages08:40 Navigating Love After Loss10:21 The Importance of Sexuality and Intimacy18:17 Finding Connection Beyond Type27:46 Rising into Love and Self-DiscoveryIf you like this episode, and you’re a man who has also had a prostatectomy, you might find these two other episodes useful:Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

As we age, the complexities of love and intimacy evolve, often leading to challenges that can impact our relationships. In this episode of “Sex Advice for Seniors,” I engaged in a candid conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Stewart, exploring the intersection of mental health, retirement, and sexual relationships among older adults. One of the key themes we discussed was the profound effect of mental health on sexual relationships, particularly for men in later life. Dr. Stewart pointed out that many older adults experience a crisis of identity after retirement. For instance, men who have defined themselves by their careers may struggle with feelings of depression and aimlessness post-retirement. This shift can lead to challenges in intimacy, as depression can diminish sexual desire. Dr. Stewart emphasised that it’s difficult to engage in a fulfilling sex life when one is battling feelings of inadequacy or sadness.Ageing is a complex journey that affects our relationships in profound ways. As Dr. Stewart highlighted, understanding the interplay between mental health, medication, and intimacy is vital for older adults. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore new forms of intimacy can help partners navigate the challenges that arise as they age together. By fostering understanding and connection, couples can maintain vibrant, fulfilling relationships well into their later years.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber. You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this conversation, I speak with psychotherapist and sexologist Suzannah Weiss about women’s sexual health, the challenges we face, and why it’s so important for us to advocate for our own needs. We discuss her book Eve’s Blessing, which explores how pain has been normalised in women’s lives and why healthcare systems need to respond more effectively. We also talk about empowerment, objectification, and the vital role of consent, especially in the context of sexual assault. Together, we explore how women can navigate their sexuality post‑menopause and the importance of finding healthcare providers who truly support us.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Sex Advice for Seniors01:21 Eve’s Blessing: Women’s Sexual Health and Pain05:30 The Importance of Healthcare in Women’s Sexuality10:11 Subjectified: Empowerment and Objectification17:29 Healing Through Narrative: Sexual Assault and Consent23:05 Navigating Sexuality Post-Menopause26:45 Conclusion and Resourceswww.suzannahweiss.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1549106https://www.amazon.com/Eves-Blessing-Uncovering-Pleasure-Behind/dp/1509566171/https://www.amazon.com/Subjectified-Becoming-Subject-Suzannah-Weiss/dp/150956019XUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber. You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Today on Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m speaking with Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship expert, psychotherapist, author, and host of The Trouble with Sex. Tammy joins me from Los Angeles to talk about her book Open Monogamy, a title that grabbed me immediately. We explore what “open” and “monogamy” can mean today, why relationship agreements are no longer one‑size‑fits‑all, and how couples can navigate changing needs, fantasies, jealousy, and long‑term desire with honesty, integrity, and transparency.In an era where traditional relationship models are being challenged, Dr. Tammy Nelson’s concept of “open monogamy” is gaining traction. This innovative idea invites couples to explore their commitments openly, redefining what monogamy means in today’s world. I’m curious to know - what does commitment mean to you?00:00 Introduction to Open Monogamy02:32 The Concept of Open Monogamy05:31 Navigating Relationship Changes08:17 Communication in Relationships11:03 Defining Monogamy and Non-Monogamy14:01 Jealousy and Relationship Dynamics16:33 The Role of Appreciation in Relationships19:35 Fantasies and Their Impact on Relationships22:26 Conclusion and Key TakeawaysYou can find Dr. Tammy Nelson here.Browse Dr. Tammy Nelson’s eBooks here.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber. You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of speaking with the remarkable Dr. Susan Campbell—psychologist, relationship coach, and author of Getting Real, The Couple’s Journey, From Triggered to Tranquil, and many more. Susan is in her 80s and in a loving relationship with a partner also in his 80s, and we had an open and wonderfully honest discussion about what sex, intimacy, and connection look like in our later years. She shared how she met her partner online in their mid‑70s, what makes their relationship thrive, and how they’ve both redefined pleasure as their bodies continue to change with age.Susan’s approach to intimacy is warm, playful, and I enjoyed our conversation immensely. We talked about how scheduling “love dates,” using mirrors, dancing, experimenting with new erogenous zones, and finding humour in the realities of ageing all help keep things fun and sensual. She reminded me that sex doesn’t have to mean penetration to be satisfying - it’s about staying curious, laughing together, and remaining open to new ways of giving and receiving pleasure. She even confessed that her orgasms are better than ever at 84, which gives all of us something to look forward to!What struck me most about Susan is her combination of wisdom and vulnerability. She spoke beautifully about accepting physical changes, supporting a partner through cognitive decline, and finding meaning and intimacy even as we experience loss. Her philosophy is all about honesty, compassion, and embracing life as it is — laughter, limitations, lust, and all. It’s truly inspiring to see what intimacy in your 80s can look like when you stay connected through communication, humour, and love.00:00 Introduction to Aging and Sexuality02:40 Navigating Online Dating in Later Life05:32 The Evolution of Intimacy and Sexuality08:04 The Importance of Communication in Relationships10:47 Building Confidence and Resilience in Dating13:45 Exploring Sexuality Beyond Penetration16:15 The Role of Humor and Playfulness in Intimacy19:07 Addressing Vulnerability and Loss in Aging21:48 Intentionality in Sexual Relationships24:26 Exploring Alternatives to Penetrative Sex27:08 Creative Approaches to Intimacy29:46 The Power of Vulnerability and Honesty in RelationshipsHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Thousands of people are saying, I’m so grateful Suzanne has taken on one of the big taboos because I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. If you’d like to support me talking about sexual pleasure in later life, hit subscribe.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”Subscribe now and discover why desire never retires. Sexy stories, stimulating podcasts, great deals on products to support your sexual health. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had a blast talking with Lauren  Elise Rogers, a certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy coach based in West Virginia. Lauren introduced me to a fascinating idea she calls weeding our sexual gardens—a powerful metaphor for examining and removing outdated sexual beliefs that no longer serve us. Through her gentle guidance, she led me through an exercise that explores the sexual and relational messages we absorb at ages 7, 14, and 21, helping us understand how those early “seeds” continue to shape our adult desires and choices.Lauren also shared her deeply personal journey from growing up in a conservative, evangelical environment to reclaiming her body, pleasure, and autonomy after leaving a difficult marriage. Her transformation is remarkable - from purity rings and religious shame to running SexEd4U, a global coaching practice focused on informed, ethical, and joyful sexuality. Our conversation touched on everything from pleasure as an antidote to pain, to how parenting and relationships evolve after midlife, and why empty nesters often rediscover who they really are.What resonated most for me was Lauren’s message that pleasure has no age limit and no moral hierarchy. As she beautifully put it, it’s not about what we do with our bodies but about knowing we deserve choice, consent, and joy at every stage of life. By “weeding our sexual gardens,” we can cultivate new beliefs that let our intimate lives flourish—whether we’re single, partnered, or still figuring things out.You can find Lauren here:Chapters00:00 Welcome and Introduction to Sexual Gardens03:09 Exploring Sexual Beliefs and Personal Growth12:03 Navigating Relationships and Parenting Dynamics21:04 The Importance of Informed Decision-Making in SexualityHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Thousands of people are saying, I’m so grateful Suzanne has taken on one of the big taboos because I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. If you’d like to support me talking about sexual pleasure in later life, hit subscribe.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”Subscribe now and discover why desire never retires. Sexy stories, stimulating podcasts, great deals on products to support your sexual health. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I sit down with writer Angela Burk, author of The Real Girl’s Guide to Over 55s. Angela and I first connected on Substack, and it was great to finally chat about her journey as both a writer and a woman redefining life after 50. She told me how the idea for her book actually began decades ago, when she was 35, and how rediscovering those old notes after retiring inspired her to start again, this time exploring transformation, self-discovery, and pleasure from a midlife perspective.Angela was wonderfully candid about her own sexual awakening. She spoke about learning to understand her body, discovering self-pleasure in her 40s after her divorce, and how finding a caring, open partner helped her reclaim her desires without shame. I really related to so much of what she shared - especially how exhausting it can be to write and reflect deeply on these topics while living them. We also talked about how difficult it can be for women of our generation to have open conversations about sex and the body, given how little information and support we had growing up.What be both share a belief that pleasure doesn’t have an expiration date. We talked about women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond who are finally finding the language and courage to talk about sex, menopause, and libido without embarrassment. We agreed that doctors often downplay these issues, and that we have to become our own advocates. Our conversation reminded me that reclaiming pleasure, at any age, is important and possible because desire doesn’t retire.You can find Angela here.00:00 Introduction to Substack and Its Community01:42 The Birth of The Real Girl’s Guide04:21 Reclaiming Sexual Power After 5010:16 The Impact of Upbringing on Sexual Awareness14:55 Exploring Pleasure and Self-Discovery19:20 The Importance of Communication in Relationships24:14 Navigating Sexuality in Later Life32:01 The Ongoing Journey of Sexual EmpowermentHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Thousands of people are saying, I’m so grateful Suzanne has taken on one of the big taboos because I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. If you’d like to support me talking about sexual pleasure in later life, hit subscribe.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”Subscribe now and discover why desire never retires. Sexy stories, stimulating podcasts, great deals on products to support your sexual health. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I sat down with Marie Morice, whom I have met in real life! She’s a clinical sexologist and advocate for sexual health, and we spoke about the importance of sexual justice and its intersection with ageing, pleasure, and health. With World Sexual Health Day as a backdrop, we explore the theme of sexual justice—ensuring everyone, regardless of age, gender, or ability, has access to sexual health, autonomy, and pleasure.Marie shares her insights on societal stigmas around older adults’ sexuality, the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals and those with disabilities, and the critical need for intersectionality in sexual health advocacy. We also discuss the impact of climate change on women’s reproductive rights, access to healthcare, and the harmful chemicals present in intimate products.Marie has recently designed Pleasure Atelier workshops, to help midlife and older women reclaim their relationship with pleasure and wellness, introducing them to innovative sex toys and emphasising the importance of embracing fun and pleasure in everyday life.For more information, visit Marie’s work at the Women’s Environmental Network or join her Pleasure Atelier workshops.00:00 Introduction to Sexual Health and Justice02:45 Understanding Sexual Justice05:54 Barriers to Sexual Health for Older Adults08:44 Cultural Perspectives on Sexual Health11:28 The Impact of Climate Change on Sexual Health14:16 Access to Sexual Health Services17:08 The Role of Pleasure in Sexual Health19:43 Advocacy for Women’s Health Products22:42 The Pleasure Atelier and Reclaiming PleasureHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Thousands of people are saying, I’m so grateful Suzanne has taken on one of the big taboos because I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. If you’d like to support me talking about sexual pleasure in later life, hit subscribe.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Sarah Ward helps people get undressed — literally and emotionally.As a Certified Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach, she guides clients to reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their pleasure, and shed shame rooted in religious and cultural conditioning.Before this, Sarah spent a decade as a wardrobe stylist and art director, with over 5,000+ photo shoots under her belt, to help clients feel confident fully clothed. Now, she helps them feel even better in their own skin.During this episode we explored the complexities of intimacy, communication, and sexual desires, particularly for older adults. We talked about the challenge of asking for what one wants in the bedroom, which I suspect, isn’t solely a problem of the Boomer and beyond generation, but is challenging at any stage of adult life! We also spoke about the impact of hormones on libido, and the importance of trust and safety in relationships. Our conversation also delved into the concept of erotic blueprints, which is Sarah’s area of expertise, and how understanding different desires can enhance sexual experiences. Ultimately, it all boils down to the need for open communication and the courage to explore fantasies without fear.Links:* Website: www.sarahward.co* Blog: * Social media: www.instagram.com/sarahward.coAs a FREE gift, Sarah invites you to download The Sensual Embodiment Guide, which is a 12-page ebook with an audio practice that listeners can use to help reconnect with their sensual selves. Why Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors? Because Desire Never Retires.Hi, I’m Suzanne Noble, author of the bestselling The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir, and passionate advocate for sexual pleasure at every age. If you’re curious about improving your intimate relationships as you age, then Sex Advice for Seniors is your ultimate resource.For just £6.99/month, you’ll unlock a wealth of benefits designed to inspire, educate, and empower you to live a more fulfilled, pleasure-filled life:What You’ll Get as a Subscriber:* Exclusive Content: Every week, I share personal stories, erotic experiences, podcast highlights, sex toy reviews, or fresh perspectives—all behind a paywall for subscribers only.* Practical Resources: Receive a free copy of my book Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, packed with tools to enhance your pleasure.* Private Access: Join a private chat community where you can ask me (or other members) personal questions in a supportive, judgment-free space.* Advocacy in Action: Your subscription helps me advocate for sexual pleasure in later life, from speaking at events to distributing practical guides like Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life. Together, we can smash those final taboos around aging and intimacy.Why Our Readers Love It:* “Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”* “I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”* “Straight non-judgmental information that relates to my needs.”By subscribing, you’re not just accessing valuable content—you’re joining a movement to challenge outdated taboos and celebrate the joy of intimacy at every stage of life.Let’s keep the conversation going. For just £6.99/month (or £49.99/year), you can help ensure that the right to pleasure and connection doesn’t end with age.Subscribe now and discover why desire never retires. Sexy stories, stimulating podcasts, great deals on products to support your sexual health. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this enlightening episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I am joined by Dr. Rebecca Lahann, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, to discuss the multiple challenges that older people experience in their quest for pleasurable sex, from physical limitations and hormonal shifts to the impact of medications. Dr. Lahan shares her insights on fostering emotional connection, adapting to physical changes, and debunking myths about ageing and libido.We also discussed the rising rates of STIs among older adults, the importance of communication, and the need for education on sexual health in senior living and retirement communities. Touching on LGBTQ+ experiences and non-traditional relationships, this episode emphasises the importance of redefining intimacy and exploring sexuality authentically at any age.Dr. Lahann offers practical advice, including safe practices, accommodations for physical limitations, and the role of healthcare professionals in supporting older adults’ sexual health. For more resources, visit Dr. Lahann’s website at drrebeccalehann.com.00:00 Introduction to Seniors and Sexuality01:50 Understanding the Impact of Aging on Sexuality05:37 The Role of Medications in Sexual Function08:19 Debunking Myths About Seniors and Sex11:10 Fostering Emotional Connection and Intimacy12:59 Adapting Sexual Practices for Physical Limitations16:31 Hormonal Changes and Their Effects on Sexuality18:32 Addressing STIs in Older Adults20:58 Supporting LGBTQ+ Seniors in Sexual Health24:39 The Need for Broader Sexual Health Education27:33 Future Directions in Sexual Health for SeniorsHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Thousands of people are saying, I’m so grateful Suzanne has taken on one of the big taboos because I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. If you’d like to support me talking about sexual pleasure in later life, hit subscribe.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”Subscribe now and discover why desire never retires. Sexy stories, stimulating podcasts, great deals on products to support your sexual health. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I welcome back Michelle Jermy, psychotherapist and founder of The Yoni Therapist, to discuss her groundbreaking work on women’s sexual health, low libido, and the often-overlooked relational aspects of desire.Michelle shares her mission to help clinicians and patients better address issues like low libido, pain during penetration, and the pressures many women feel to “perform” sexually. While current clinical tools like the Female Sexual Function Index, which I have never heard mentioned previously, focus on biomedical factors, Michelle emphasises the need to explore relational and emotional dynamics. She is developing a new toolkit to help clinicians ask deeper, more relevant questions, such as, “Do you feel pressured to have sex to maintain your relationship?” or “Do you know what brings you sexual pleasure?”The conversation highlights how women’s sexual health is often dismissed or under explored in clinical settings. We discussed the importance of clinicians adopting a more expansive view of sex—not just focusing on penetration, but including a full spectrum of intimacy and pleasure. Michelle also stresses how understanding basic wellness factors, such as sleep, mental health, and physical touch, is essential for restoring desire. We tend to think of libido as purely driven by hormones, but as we discussed in this episode and I have discussed in previous conversations with doctors such as Lauren Streicher MD, it’s much more complex than that!Michelle’s upcoming research project aims to train clinicians and provide tools for better addressing women’s sexual health concerns. For patients, she advocates for proactive communication with healthcare providers, even suggesting template letters to help women articulate their needs confidently.It’s so important that we normalise conversations about women’s pleasure and sexual health, in order to bridge the gap between patients and clinicians.Why Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors? Because Desire Never Retires.Hi, I’m Suzanne Noble, author of the bestselling The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir, and passionate advocate for sexual pleasure at every age. If you’re curious about improving your intimate relationships as you age, then Sex Advice for Seniors is your ultimate resource.For just £6.99/month, you’ll unlock a wealth of benefits designed to inspire, educate, and empower you to live a more fulfilled, pleasure-filled life:What You’ll Get as a Subscriber:* Exclusive Content: Every week, I share personal stories, erotic experiences, podcast highlights, sex toy reviews, or fresh perspectives—all behind a paywall for subscribers only.* Practical Resources: Receive a free copy of my book Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, packed with tools to enhance your pleasure.* Private Access: Join a private chat community where you can ask me (or other members) personal questions in a supportive, judgment-free space.* Advocacy in Action: Your subscription helps me advocate for sexual pleasure in later life, from speaking at events to distributing practical guides like Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life. Together, we can smash those final taboos around aging and intimacy.Why Our Readers Love It:* “Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”* “I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”* “Straight non-judgmental information that relates to my needs.”By subscribing, you’re not just accessing valuable content—you’re joining a movement to challenge outdated taboos and celebrate the joy of intimacy at every stage of life.Let’s keep the conversation going. For just £6.99/month (or £49.99/year), you can help ensure that the right to pleasure and connection doesn’t end with age.Subscribe now and rediscover why desire never retires.Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this week’s episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I sat down with Sabrina Baldini, a TED speaker, sex educator, and self-proclaimed “geriatric millennial,” to explore how ADHD impacts sex, relationships, and intimacy. As someone diagnosed with ADHD herself, Sabrina provided fascinating insights into how neurodivergence shapes sexual behavior and emotional dynamics. And, if you’ve ever wondered whether you may have ADHD, then this conversation may turn out to be a real eye opener!ADHD often manifests as extremes, hyperfocus or complete disinterest, which can significantly impact sexual experiences. Sabrina explained how people with ADHD may experience intense bursts of desire or crave novelty to stay engaged. This drive for dopamine can lead to risky behaviours, but it can also be channeled into creative ways to keep sex exciting, such as role play, sexting, or trying new activities.We discussed the challenges of mismatched sex drives, emotional regulation, and rejection sensitivity, which are common for people with ADHD. Sabrina highlighted how kink can be a powerful tool for those with ADHD, as its structure and clear boundaries provide a sense of safety and reduce the risk of failure. From brats and power dynamics to playful exploration, kink offers an outlet for creativity and novelty while fostering connection.Sabrina also illuminated the broader need to redefine sex as more than just penetration. By expanding our understanding of intimacy and pleasure, we can create more fulfilling connections… whether or not ADHD is part of the equation.This conversation was a real eye opener for me and if you’re curious about the intersection of neurodivergence and intimacy, I encourage you to have a listen! Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodivergent, Sabrina reminds us to stay curious, playful, and open to exploring what works for you and your partner.You can find Sabrina’s website here.00:00 Introduction to ADHD and Sex Life02:46 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Relationships05:33 Neurodivergence and Sexual Health08:23 The Role of Novelty in Sexual Engagement11:20 Authority Dynamics in Sexual Relationships13:57 Hyperfocus and Its Effects on Sexual Experience16:54 Navigating Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships19:45 Kink as a Tool for ADHD and Sexual Exploration22:43 Defining Sex and Intimacy25:35 Conclusion and Final Thoughts on ADHD and SexualityWhy Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors? Because Desire Never Retires.Hi, I’m Suzanne Noble, author of the bestselling The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir, and passionate advocate for sexual pleasure at every age. If you’re curious about improving your intimate relationships as you age, then Sex Advice for Seniors is your ultimate resource.For just £6.99/month, you’ll unlock a wealth of benefits designed to inspire, educate, and empower you to live a more fulfilled, pleasure-filled life:What You’ll Get as a Subscriber:* Exclusive Content: Every week, I share personal stories, erotic experiences, podcast highlights, sex toy reviews, or fresh perspectives—all behind a paywall for subscribers only.* Practical Resources: Receive a free copy of my book Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, packed with tools to enhance your pleasure.* Private Access: Join a private chat community where you can ask me (or other members) personal questions in a supportive, judgment-free space.* Advocacy in Action: Your subscription helps me advocate for sexual pleasure in later life, from speaking at events to distributing practical guides like Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life. Together, we can smash those final taboos around aging and intimacy.Why Our Readers Love It:* “Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”* “I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”* “Straight non-judgmental information that relates to my needs.”By subscribing, you’re not just accessing valuable content—you’re joining a movement to challenge outdated taboos and celebrate the joy of intimacy at every stage of life.Let’s keep the conversation going. For just £6.99/month (or £49.99/year), you can help ensure that the right to pleasure and connection doesn’t end with age.Subscribe now and rediscover why desire never retires.Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

On this week’s episode, I covered a topic I’ve never covered before: pegging. So strap onto your strap-on, this is going to be an out there ride! Joining me was Luna Matatas, a Toronto-based sex and pleasure educator with 15+ years of experience in kink, anal play, and Femdom. Luna’s expertise and humour made this conversation both fun and very spicy.Pegging, in simple terms, is when a cisgender woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a cisgender male partner. Beyond the physical act, it explores vulnerability and gender role subversion, which many find deeply thrilling. Or not. When it comes to pegging, my personal experience is that it’s like Marmite - the sticky brown stuff that the British love to put on their bread that tastes of beef stock. It’s personal whether you love it or loathe it. (Maybe that’s not quite the right analogy but I’m certain you know what I mean). And same goes for pegging. I know men whom became obsessed after a pegging session and a bigger group that think that any form of anal play means they are almost certainly gay.My personal opinion is that exploring our errogonous zones is one of life’s greatest pleasures so why should bums be off limit? However, when it comes to pegging, there are a few ground rules that make the whole experience much more pleasurable.Here are Luna’s practical tips:* Preparation Matters: Start small, warm up with external stimulation, and always use plenty of lube. As Luna says, “If you think you have enough lube, add more.”* Communication is Key: When bringing up pegging, focus on the feelings or desires behind the fantasy. This opens the door to mutual exploration without pressure.* Aftercare is Essential: Emotional and physical check-ins post-pegging are vital. Whether it’s cuddling, talking, or a warm bath, aftercare helps everyone feel grounded.We also discussed how societal attitudes toward pleasure and masculinity are shifting, with younger generations embracing curiosity and shedding shame.This conversation was a reminder to stay curious and open to new experiences. Luna was an absolute hoot, and I can’t wait to have her back to dive into more topics like Femdom. Until next time, take care and remember: desire doesn’t retire! 00:00 Introduction to Pegging and Its Appeal02:51 Understanding the Mechanics of Pegging05:38 The Emotional Aspects of Pegging08:28 Power Dynamics in Pegging11:19 Communication and Consent in Pegging14:20 Tools and Techniques for Pegging17:08 Building Confidence in Pegging19:47 Aftercare and Recovery22:50 Societal Changes and Attitudes Towards PeggingYou can find Luna Matatas here.Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review, podcast highlights or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend and to distribute printed booklets of ‘Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life.’Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr Shirin Lakhani, a GP, trained aesthetic technician, and founder of Elite Aesthetics, whom I first encountered during a preview for an upcoming Menopause Event called Pause and met in person this past weekend!Our conversation explored the often-overlooked topic of sexual health and intimacy as we age, a subject on which we have a mutual interest! Dr Lakhani’s work, including her Check Your Vulva campaign, encourages women to understand and embrace their anatomy, helping them recognise what’s normal and advocate for their health. (During the preview event the audience, composed mainly of women, were handed hand mirrors with Dr. Lakhani demonstrating the correct way to ‘check our vulva’ - fully clothed, I might add!). We also discussed the lack of adequate menopause training for healthcare professionals, which often leads to women being dismissed or misdiagnosed when seeking help for conditions like genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM).One of the highlights of our conversation was learning about the O-Shot and P-Shot treatments, which use platelet-rich plasma (PRP) to regenerate tissues and improve sexual function for both men and women. Dr Lakhani explained how these therapies enhance sensitivity, lubrication, and blood flow, making them effective solutions for issues such as painful sex, erectile dysfunction, and even stress incontinence. For women with hormone-sensitive conditions, such as breast cancer survivors, the O-Shot provides a non-hormonal alternative to treatments like estrogen. These cutting-edge therapies are a game-changer, offering hope and healing to so many.We also spoke about the importance of pelvic floor health, particularly for recovery after prostate surgery or childbirth. Dr Lakhani introduced me to advanced devices she uses in her practise that deliver thousands of pelvic floor contractions in just minutes, allowing patients to strengthen their pelvic muscles in ways they couldn’t achieve on their own. For men recovering from prostate cancer surgery, this kind of therapy can significantly reduce incontinence and improve erectile function - a real game changer.Finally, we addressed the challenges of diagnosing and treating lichen sclerosus, a condition that can cause severe discomfort and is often mistaken for other issues like thrush. Dr Lakhani shared how PRP and radio frequency microneedling can restore tissue health and improve the quality of life for those affected. This episode reinforced for me the importance of normalising conversations about sexual health at any age. We need better education, improved communication with healthcare providers, and greater access to treatments that can restore intimacy and joy in our lives. To find out more about Dr. Shirin Lakhani, visit her website here.00:00 Introduction to Menopause and Sexual Health02:39 The Importance of Sexual Health Education05:43 Understanding Menopause and Its Impact08:22 Innovative Treatments: O-Shot and P-Shot Explained11:12 Addressing Concerns: Hormones and Cancer Risks14:09 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health17:11 Success Stories and Future Campaigns19:25 Understanding Gender Differences in Anatomy and Perception20:05 The Importance of Pelvic Floor Health23:59 Exploring Lichen Sclerosis: Causes and Treatments28:34 Misdiagnosis and Awareness in Women's Health33:23 Addressing Vaginal Atrophy and Its TreatmentHi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review, podcast highlights or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend and to distribute printed booklets of ‘Sex Toys for Thriving in Later Life.’Let’s help smash one of the final taboos. Subscribe to Sex Advice for Seniors and discover why desire never retires.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Marianne Power is the author of Love Me, a book chronicling her journey to reclaim her sexuality and confidence through exploring tantra and workshops on intimacy. Marianne shares her initial hesitation when first invited to a tantra retreat, describing it as terrifying, especially given her Irish Catholic upbringing and years of feeling disconnected from her sexuality. However, curiosity and a desire for deeper self-understanding led her to attend, and despite her fears, it became a life-changing experience.She recounts her first retreat with tantra teacher Jan Day, whom I have interviewed for the podcast previously, where she faced exercises that challenged her preconceptions about touch, intimacy, and vulnerability. From walking toward strangers and making eye contact to simply saying "yes" or "no" to touch, she learned to confront insecurities and discover her true desires. For Marianne, the experience wasn’t just about sex; it was about reconnecting with her body, understanding her boundaries, and realizing that others shared similar fears and struggles.Through this journey, Mary Ann also explored other tools and perspectives, such as reading The Ethical Slut, which helped her embrace a non-traditional lifestyle of "friends and lovers." She’s now confident that happiness doesn’t have to follow the societal script of marriage and children. Writing her book allowed her to share this message openly, despite initial fears about how her family and friends might react. She found that being honest about her experiences has inspired others to reconsider their own paths to intimacy and self-acceptance.Looking ahead, Marianne continues living her unconventional life while working on her next book, Pay Me, which will explore her relationship with money and financial struggles. Her journey serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to explore intimacy, challenge societal expectations, and live authentically. Whether through tantra workshops, self-help books, or simply honest conversations, Marianne’s story demonstrates that reinvention is possible - no matter what your age! What’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of talking with Juliette LaMontagne, the creator of the Substack newsletter Touch Me There: Reclaiming Desire, Power, and Purpose in Midlife. Juliette shared her inspiring journey of rediscovering intimacy and connection in her long-term marriage after years of estrangement, using a transformative framework called the Wheel of Consent. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your relationship or disconnected from your own pleasure, Juliette’s story is proof that it’s never too late to reignite desire. For me, it was a pleasure to talk to someone who had lived experience of being in a sexless marriage rather than the person counselling others on how to reignite intimacy in their relationship.Juliette explained that the Wheel of Consent, developed by Dr. Betty Martin, is a tool for exploring intimacy through four dynamics: serving, accepting, taking, and allowing. She and her husband, after years of struggle and separation, used this framework to rebuild trust and connection. They started with small, structured exercises, like simply placing hands on her sock-covered feet, and gradually worked through deeper layers of intimacy, including exploring desires they hadn’t known how to express before. As Juliette described, it’s not about grand gestures but about learning to communicate touch as a gift and rediscovering each other in new ways.We also talked about how important it is to start with yourself. Juliette shared her personal journey of healing, which began with somatic sex work and even psychedelic-assisted therapy to reconnect with her own body and desires. She emphasized the importance of curiosity, whether it's through exploring frameworks like the Wheel of Consent or diving into shadow work and archetypes to uncover hidden longings. For her, this journey wasn’t just about saving her marriage but about rediscovering her own vitality and purpose.Juliette’s story is inspiring and proof that desire can be maintained in long-term relationships if you’re both committed to working on it! And if you’re curious about the Wheel of Consent or Juliette’s work, don’t miss her Substack, Touch Me There, for more wisdom and inspiration. 00:00 Introduction to Intergenerational Dialogue01:50 The Wheel of Consent: A Transformative Tool07:17 Personal Journeys: Healing Through Crisis11:06 Exploring Touch: The Dynamics of Consent17:05 The Evolution of Intimacy: A Three-Year Journey22:13 Understanding Desire: Following the Ache27:23 Finding the Right Framework for ConnectionWhat’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Susan Morgan Taylor, a somatic sex therapist from beautiful North Carolina. Susan works with couples to help them reconnect with their bodies and each other, using somatic methods to explore desire and intimacy. If you’ve ever wondered how to reignite the spark or expand your idea of pleasure, this episode will inspire you!Susan explained that somatic sex therapy focuses on the body and sensations rather than just talking things through. She shared how couples can learn to notice what feels good, express their desires, and explore different types of touch—beyond the obvious areas. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and creating space for pleasure to unfold naturally. I loved Susan’s reminder that pleasure and orgasm aren’t things someone gives you; they’re already inside you, waiting to be unlocked.We also tackled the common issue of mismatched libidos in relationships. Susan’s take? Stop blaming each other! Instead, understand how you’re both wired differently and learn to meet in the middle. She shared some brilliant tips, like finding your voice to express what you want and being open to what your partner needs. As Susan said, “What would change if you took 100% responsibility for your own pleasure?” A game-changing question, right?If you’re curious to learn more, check out Susan’s website, pathwaytopleasure.com, where you’ll find her retreats, masterclasses, and even a free ebook. She also hosts a great podcast called Sex Talk Cafe. This conversation was such a fun and eye-opening reminder that it’s never too late to explore new paths to pleasure and connection. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Somatic Sex Therapy02:57 Understanding Somatic Practices04:45 Benefits for Older Couples07:30 Exploring Erogenous Zones09:50 The Pleasure Keys Process12:01 The Power of Light Touch15:45 Types of Touch in Intimacy16:22 Desire Discrepancy in Relationships20:03 Navigating Sexual Expectations21:23 Finding Your Pathway to Pleasure24:31 The Importance of Communication27:06 Empowerment in Relationships29:10 Feedback and Desire31:04 Finding Your VoiceWhat’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Joli Hamilton, a jealousy expert who’s spent twelve years unraveling the messy, powerful, and often uncomfortable emotion of jealousy, especially in relationships. If you want to know everything there is to know about jealousy, Joli is your woman!We dove into why jealousy can feel so unbearable, how it’s hardwired into us, and why the idea of "just getting over it" is total nonsense. Spoiler alert: jealousy isn’t a bad thing -it’s actually a tool for deeper self-awareness and connection.Joli shared her own journey, which started when she opened up her relationship years ago and found herself (and her partners!) swirling in jealousy without a clue how to handle it. Instead of running away, she leaned in, studied the emotion for over a decade, and discovered that jealousy has a purpose: it’s there to keep us connected to those we value. But the trick is learning how to slow down, notice what’s happening in the body, and reframe the stories we tell ourselves about jealousy.We also explored how jealousy and envy often show up together, especially in open or polyamorous relationships. Joli explained how comparing yourself to others, whether it’s someone who’s funnier, younger, or more sexually adventurous, can trigger envy and self-doubt. The key? Stop feeling ashamed of these emotions, slow down, and address them head-on. It’s all about communication, self-awareness, and getting honest about your needs and boundaries.If you’re curious about opening up your relationship or just want to understand jealousy better, Joli offered some great advice: start the conversation with your partner before you’re in the thick of it. Don’t wait for jealousy to blindside you! Her insights were a brilliant reminder that relationships, whether monogamous or not, are all about navigating complex emotions with care and curiosity. Thanks, Joli, for such a fascinating and eye-opening chat!What’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Have you ever thought about packing it all in - giving up your home and hitting the road with no long terms plans in sight? Recently I’ve met a few people, in their 40s and above, who have done this, adopting the nomad lifestyle. One is my friend, whom I met when he came to live with me for three months, which has become an annual occurrence, Kevin Sessums.A woman whom I met via a Lovehoney campaign in which we featured, Tina Pemberton, whom is active on TikTok, is shortly going travelling with her son for a few months and then exploring the world on her own.Marni Battista, my latest guest is another, who shared her on transformative journey of self-discovery, including a life-changing RV trip that revealed the importance of facing fears and embracing change. Together, we discussed how to shake up long-term relationships, the application of design thinking to life changes, and the significance of curiosity, openness, and optimism in fostering intimacy and personal growth. Marni’s story is inspirational and, as someone who is now considering my next winter destination (currently looking like Thailand), emphasises the importance of taking small steps towards change and how to empower others to embrace their own transformations.You can find Marni’s website here.Her Substack is here.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Life Transformation01:57 The RV Experience: A Journey of Self-Discovery09:44 Shaking Up Long-Term Relationships11:02 Design Thinking for Life Changes14:44 Reviving Intimacy Through New Experiences19:15 Empowering Others to Embrace Change22:48 Applying Design Thinking to Relationships28:53 Curiosity, Openness, and Optimism in LifeWhat’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This week’s conversation is with Lucy Rowett, a sexologist who works with women who struggle with shame around their sexuality, especially those who come from a religious background that did not recognise a woman’s right to experience sexual pleasure.Together we unravel the intricate layers of shame surrounding sexuality, especially for women and vulva owners. Discover how faith backgrounds shape sexual identities and the vital role of understanding one's body and desires. The episode also highlights the unique challenges older women face, particularly during menopause, and the societal pressures around female pleasure and duty sex. Lucy passionately advocates for community support and open dialogue to dismantle shame, encouraging listeners to reconnect with their sexuality through diverse practices and resources.Find out more about Lucy here.Chapters00:00 Understanding Shame in Sexuality02:50 The Impact of Faith on Sexual Identity05:26 Unpacking Sexual Shame and Body Awareness07:58 Navigating Sexuality in Later Life10:57 The Role of Duty Sex and Female Pleasure13:52 Reframing Menopause as an Invitation16:42 The Importance of Community and Conversation19:36 Tools for Reconnecting with SexualityHere’s a free gift from Lucy!Feel Again: A guided practice to help you feel again during sex, from numbness and shutdown to pleasure: https://lucyrowett.com/heart-v-integration-practice/Hi, I’m Suzanne — the proud host of Sex Advice for Seniors and a 365-days-a-year champion for the right of older folks to experience sexual pleasure. No matter your age, size, shape, or the state of your knees, hips, back, you should feel free to embrace your sexuality. If you don’t wanna have sex anymore, that’s cool. But if you do? You absolutely shouldn’t feel ashamed about it.I’m on a mission to smash one of life’s last, stubborn taboos: the idea that older people can’t be sexy or sexual. SCREW THAT.Every week, I record at least one podcast where I sit down with an expert on sex, dating, or relationships.My podcasts are free for all listeners, but for my discerning readers who enjoy a little extra spice in their lives, I offer paywalled posts. These juicy extras might include sex toy reviews (yes, I test them all myself, so don’t say I don’t go the extra mile), personal stories from my sexploits, or deep dives into more intimate topics. I accept guest posts too.If you’re a paid subscriber, you’ll also receive my 32-page booklet, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life,’ and gain access to a private chat room where me and my readers swap stories, share tips, and ask questions. All this for what I think is a very reasonable £6.99/month—or, if you’re feeling savvy, you can snag the Senior Discount with an annual subscription at £49.99/year.So, whether you’re here for the laughs, the learning, or just the libido boost, welcome aboard.If you want to help support me in smashing one of the final taboos - the idea that older people can’t be sexy or sexual, it’s £49.99/year or £6.99/month. That’s only a cup or two of coffee per month (depending on where you live).Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”“Love the honesty and humour and the vulnerability too.”“I like that you acknowledge so openly and joyously that older people can still want and need sexual satisfaction. And that it can be better and more satisfying than when you were younger! But we also need open, honest, non judgemental advice in order to get the most out of sex in later years.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Join me, Suzanne Noble, as I chat with the brilliant Dr. Pete Tsambarlis, an associate professor of urology at Northwestern University, who knows more about prostates than most of us know about our morning coffee! Dr. Tsambarlis was introduced to me by a patient of his, fellow Substacker Bob Mizek-Menopause for men, so I knew we were going to have a fascinating conversation around importance of understanding prostate cancer, the effects of treatment on erectile function, and the recovery timeline after surgery. Dr. Tsambarlis emphasised the role of medications, lifestyle changes, and the significance of having a supportive healthcare team. The conversation also touches on Peyronie's disease and the importance of proactive health management for better sexual outcomes.Listen as Dr. Tsambarlis shares his wisdom on everything from avoiding the dreaded prostate cancer to why your heart health is your best friend below the belt plus tips on how to have those awkward conversations with your doctor without embarrassment or shame.00:00 Introduction to Sexual Health and Prostate Cancer01:56 Understanding Prostate Cancer and Prevention04:02 Supporting Men Through Prostate Treatment09:46 Recovery After Prostate Surgery10:56 The Role of Medications in Erectile Function14:18 Empowering Patients: Questions to Ask Your Doctor16:49 Exploring Peyronie's Disease22:32 Taking Control of Sexual Health28:06 Building a Supportive Healthcare TeamWhat’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

It’s always fun to talk to a fellow podcaster, especially someone like Karen Bigman, the host of the podcast Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50. Karen is a certified sexuality educator and menopause sex and relationship coach, and she’s on a mission to help women over 50 embrace their sexuality and pleasure without shame.Karen shared her incredible journey of self-discovery, which began after her divorce at 52, when she had her own “sexual awakening.” From awkward conversations with her gynacologist to discovering vibrators for the first time (doctor’s orders!), Karen’s candid and humorous take on her experiences was both inspiring and relatable.We dove into topics like painful sex, the lack of education around vaginal estrogen and testosterone, and why women shouldn’t settle for discomfort or give up on pleasure. Karen also talked about her experiences with online dating, the challenges of navigating men with complex lives (or no savings!), and the importance of setting boundaries and knowing your own worth.We laughed about ghosting, dating disasters, and the interesting (and sometimes baffling) reasons people give for ending things. Karen even shared her thoughts on how soon to have sex when dating and why it’s okay to break your own rules sometimes.Karen also talked about her new online course, Hotter, Wiser, and Wilder, which is packed with practical advice on navigating ageing, improving your sex life, and even tips for dating and writing better profiles. She’s also building a private community to give people a safe space to ask those intimate questions they might feel too shy to ask anywhere else.If you’ve ever felt like dating and sex in midlife is overwhelming or impossible, this episode is a reminder that it’s never too late to embrace your desires, have fun, and laugh along the way.You can follow here on Instagram here.You can find Karen’s website here and download a FREE Pleasure Playbook! You can listen to her podcast, Taboo to Truth here!00:00 Navigating Online Dating After 5002:38 Breaking the Taboo: Conversations About Sex05:29 The Journey to Sexual Awakening08:24 The Importance of Sexual Health11:10 Dating Disasters and Red Flags14:04 Ghosting and Communication in Dating17:03 Expectations and Realities of Dating19:33 The Role of Sex in Relationships22:27 Profiles and Authenticity in Online Dating25:03 Future Plans and Community BuildingSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.What’s this about?Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’ * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Galen is one of the few guests I’ve met in real life when he came, briefly, to London and I caught up with him in at a pub in Islington for a drink and a chat. As one of my older guests, in his seventies, I enjoy hearing his unique perspective about sexuality, informed by his decades of experience working with clients especially around kink and sexual shame. As an aside, he cites himself on his website as the inventor of the sex swing!He’s also a sex therapist, educator, and author of Decoding the Kink. Galen and I dove deep into a topic that I feel is so important for older adults, how embracing sexual authenticity and exploring kink can transform intimacy, especially as we navigate the changes that come with ageing.We talked about how kink is often misunderstood and stigmatised, but how it can open up new avenues for connection and pleasure, even when traditional notions of sex aren’t working the way they used to. Galen introduced me to the concept of the "personal erotic myth," a unique aspect of our sexuality that’s as individual as a fingerprint. He shared practical advice on how couples can start exploring these aspects together and even how to gently introduce these conversations to a partner when it feels scary or vulnerable.Galen also opened up about his own journey to living his truest sexual self, which started later in life after years of hiding his desires. His story is a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to reclaim your sexuality.This is such an inspiring and hopeful conversation for anyone over 50 who feels like they’ve missed their opportunity to explore their desires. Trust me, you haven’t! This stage of life is full of possibility, and I hope this episode gives you the encouragement to start your own journey.00:00 Introduction and Context01:48 The Role of Kink in Later Life08:42 Overcoming Shame and Fear14:16 Pathways to Sexual Authenticity18:05 The Importance of Connection25:10 Embracing Sexuality at Any Age27:46 Final Thoughts and AdviceYou can discover more about Galen via his website: https://galenfous.com/about/Galen’s book, “Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires” is available via Amazon here.This week marked a significant milestone for me: I reached 90 paid subscribers and was featured on the front page of one of the UK’s best-selling newspapers, the Sunday Mirror.I am deeply grateful to each and every one of you who has chosen to subscribe to my Substack. As a token of appreciation, you should have received a downloadable copy of my 32-page book, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you haven’t received it, please let me know, and I’ll ensure it’s emailed to you right away.As a reminder, paid subscribers enjoy exclusive benefits, including:* Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life (digital book).* My weekly podcast, delivered straight to your inbox.* An exclusive paywalled post each week—often something intimate, like a real-life story, a sex toy review, or any topic I feel inspired to share!* Access to my private chat room, where we can connect and discuss topics in a safe space.Subscriptions are just £6.99 per month or £49.99 per year. Your support allows me to dedicate more time to interviewing some of the world’s leading experts on sex, relationships, and dating in later life.Thank you for helping me keep this show on the road! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe