Sex, Here & Now

Today’s episode dives into one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics I get asked about all the time, sex addiction. Or maybe more accurately, what people think sex addiction is. We are breaking down why the term is not officially recognized in the DSM-5, what clinicians actually look for when someone feels out of control, and why frequency alone is not the right question to be asking. If you have ever wondered, “Am I addicted to porn?” or “Is something wrong with me for thinking about sex this much?” this episode is for you. We explore the difference between behavior and function, how shame plays a massive role in how people interpret their sexuality, and why labeling something as an addiction can sometimes shut down curiosity instead of creating understanding. This is not about minimizing struggle. There are absolutely people who feel stuck in patterns that feel compulsive and distressing. But the goal is not to pathologize sexuality. The goal is to understand it. If you are questioning your relationship with sex, this episode will help you slow things down, get curious, and start asking better questions. You are not broken. You are human. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Today’s episode is a fun one. I am answering listener questions that range from how I got started as a sex therapist all the way to the bold question, why do men suck. We get into what I actually love about this work, including why spreading sex positivity continues to be at the core of everything I do, even with all the different roles that come with running a private practice. I also share a bit about my path into the field, from early experiences to burnout and eventually finding my way into sex therapy through AASECT. We talk about frustrations in the field, both the real ones like billing and the bigger cultural challenges around how we view sex, relationships, and autonomy. There is also a deeper conversation about the messaging boys grow up with and how that shapes men, relationships, and emotional connection. To wrap it up, I answer a really relatable question about feeling frustrated when a partner is always on their phone and what might actually be underneath that feeling. As always, this episode is about curiosity, reflection, and building more awareness in our relationships. If you want to submit a question for a future episode, head over to sexhereandnow.com/home and ask away. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt dives into a topic that still makes a lot of people uncomfortable to even think about, pegging. Not just what it is, but why so many people are curious about it and what that curiosity actually means. This is not about pressure or pushing anyone to try something they are not interested in. This is about understanding your body, challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, and learning how to have honest conversations about sex with your partner. Matt walks through where this curiosity comes from, why it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and how to explore it in a way that feels safe, grounded, and connected. If you have ever been curious but nervous to bring it up, or if you are trying to better understand your partner, this episode is for you.   If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

What if one simple exercise could completely change how you understand your sexuality and communicate your desires? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I break down one of the most foundational tools I use with clients and one that I believe everyone should try: the Yes, No, Maybe list. This deceptively simple exercise helps you explore your sexual interests, boundaries, curiosities, and limits by sorting experiences into three categories. While it sounds straightforward, the impact can be profound. The Yes, No, Maybe framework builds sexual self awareness, reduces shame, and creates a shared language for consent and communication in relationships. I walk you through how the exercise works, why “I don’t know” is actually a valid and important answer, and how this practice helps individuals and couples move away from guessing and toward clarity. We also talk about how mismatched desires are not relationship failures, how curiosity strengthens intimacy, and why consent is something that evolves over time rather than something decided once. Whether you are single, partnered, monogamous, or non monogamous, this episode offers a practical way to better understand your erotic map and build more honest, sustainable sexual connections. Grab a pen, open your notes app, and get ready to learn something new about yourself. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

On this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I sit down with my colleague and friend Julie Labanz for a conversation that feels both overdue and incredibly necessary. We dive into the lasting impact of purity culture and how so many of us are still untangling the messages we absorbed about sex, worth, shame, and “goodness.” Even if you did not grow up in a religious household, purity culture has shaped the air we breathe. It influences how we talk about bodies, how we experience desire, and how we respond to pleasure. Julie and I explore how these early scripts follow people into adulthood and into their relationships, often without them even realizing it. From there, we shift into a topic that shows up in almost every long term partnership: desire discrepancy. What happens when one partner wants sex more often than the other? How do we talk about it without turning it into a scoreboard? We unpack the myths that tell us mismatched desire means something is broken and instead offer a more grounded, compassionate framework. This episode is honest, practical, and rooted in the work we both do every day with clients. If you have ever struggled with shame around sex or felt confused by shifting levels of desire in your relationship, this conversation is for you. As always, stay curious. You can find Julie on Instagram @beknowntherapy Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

We talk a lot about how relationships change over time, and they do. Life gets busy, routines take over, and before you know it, you are not really dating anymore… you are just coexisting. In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I talk about why that shift matters more than people realize. Dating is not just something you do at the beginning of a relationship. It is what creates energy, curiosity, and connection over time. When dating fades, many couples start to feel disconnected, not because something is “wrong,” but because the relationship has stopped being intentional. I break down how small, consistent moments of attention can bring relationships back to life. This is not about grand gestures or expensive plans. It is about presence, playfulness, and choosing each other again and again. If your relationship has been feeling a little stale or distant, this episode is a reminder to go back to what creates connection in the first place. Because when you stop dating, you stop discovering. And the couples who stay connected are the ones who never stop choosing each other. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and rate the podcast. You can also find more sex positive content on YouTube at Cleveland Sex Therapy. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

When sex starts to feel distant, tense, or nonexistent, it is easy to panic and assume something is broken. In this episode, Matt slows things down and walks you through what to actually look at when your sex life feels off. From stress, burnout, and self disconnection to relationship dynamics, communication breakdowns, and the unrealistic expectations we are taught about desire, this conversation reframes sexual struggle as information, not failure. You will hear why sex fading is normal, not a sign your relationship is doomed, how to reconnect with your own desire before trying to fix partnered sex, and why skills like vulnerability, sexual check ins, flirting, and even scheduling intimacy are not unsexy but essential. Matt also challenges the idea that sex should be effortless and reminds listeners that intimacy in long term relationships is learned, practiced, and revisited over time. This episode is for anyone feeling disconnected, anxious, or stuck around sex and intimacy and wanting a grounded, shame free way forward that actually works. New episodes drop weekly! Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

There is this quiet belief that going to relationship counseling means something is wrong. That if you and your partner are “good,” you should be able to figure everything out on your own. In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I challenge that idea. Being open to relationship counseling is not about failure, it is about intention. It is about choosing to invest in your relationship before things fall apart, not after. We talk about why so many couples wait too long, how most of us were never actually taught how to be in relationships, and why counseling can be a space to unlearn what is not working and build something that actually fits. I also get into one of the biggest shifts I see in strong couples. They do not wait for crisis. They get curious early. They want to understand their patterns, improve communication, and create a relationship that feels safe, flexible, and real. If you have ever hesitated about therapy, or wondered if your relationship is “bad enough” to go, this episode is for you. Counseling is not the last resort. It is a resource. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and rate the podcast. You can also find more sex positive content on YouTube at Cleveland Sex Therapy. Stay curious. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Why do so many loving couples stop having sex? In today’s episode of Sex, Here & Now, I’m diving into something I see constantly in my therapy office: couples in their late 30s and 40s who are still deeply in love… but their sex life has disappeared. No big betrayal. No dramatic rupture. Just an erotic stalemate. Drawing from Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, the Dual Control Model of sexual response from the Kinsey Institute, and insights from Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski, I break down why passion naturally shifts over time and what actually brings it back. We’ll talk about: • Why intimacy and commitment can unintentionally dull erotic energy • How your “gas pedals” and “brakes” impact sexual desire • The parent-child dynamic that quietly kills attraction • Practical exercises to rebuild anticipation, playfulness, and connection If you and your partner feel stuck sexually but still love each other, this episode is for you. This is more common than you think, and it is absolutely workable. It just takes intention. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

We need to talk about something that does not get said enough. Sex is supposed to be fun. In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I challenge the pressure people put on themselves to perform perfectly in the bedroom. From queefing to losing an erection at the worst possible moment, I break down why these experiences are completely normal and why they do not mean anything is wrong. This episode is really about shifting your mindset. Moving away from performance and perfection and getting back to connection, play, and pleasure. I also walk you through a simple but powerful exercise to help you and your partner reconnect with what actually makes sex feel good. If sex has started to feel serious, stressful, or like something you have to get “right,” this one is for you. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

On this episode, I sit down with Kristen Lilla, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Educator, to talk about all things sex education and why the conversations we avoid are often the ones that matter most. We dive into her books, what inspired her work, and how she approaches teaching kids about bodies, boundaries, and consent in ways that are age-appropriate and empowering. We also get into why using the correct anatomical terms for body parts is not just about being clinical. It is about safety, clarity, and confidence. When kids know the right words, they are better equipped to understand their bodies, communicate their needs, and advocate for themselves. This is a thoughtful, grounded conversation about raising sexually healthy humans and challenging the shame that still surrounds these topics. You can find Kristen on Instagram @that.popup.book Links to Vaginas and Periods 101 and Penises 101 here Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

In this mini episode of Matt’s Musings, I’m diving into a topic that continues to spark curiosity, confusion, and meaningful cultural change: the rise in people identifying as bisexual. Recent research suggests that about 7 percent of people now identify as bisexual, and rather than asking why it is increasing, this episode explores a more important question. What happens when people finally feel safe enough to tell the truth about who they are? I talk about the history of bisexuality being misunderstood or dismissed as a phase, the unique pressures bisexual individuals have faced from both heterosexual and queer communities, and why this shift reflects something much bigger than a trend. It signals growing safety, expanding conversations around sexual fluidity, and younger generations feeling less pressure to fit into rigid identity boxes. This episode is a reminder that sexuality has always been more expansive than many of us were taught. As stigma softens and acceptance grows, more people are allowing themselves curiosity, self understanding, and authenticity without shame. If you have ever questioned labels, wondered about sexual fluidity, or simply want to better understand the evolving landscape of human sexuality, this short musing invites you to stay curious and compassionate toward yourself and others. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

In this personal and reflective episode of Sex, Here & Now, I share something a little different. I am getting married this July to my partner of nine years, and as we started writing our own wedding vows, it got me thinking about something we almost never talk about in relationships or marriage: sex vows. After nearly a decade together filled with growth, therapy, travel, and redefining what partnership looks like, I found myself asking why traditional vows celebrate love, commitment, and stability, yet rarely acknowledge sexuality as part of the relationship we are promising to nurture. As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I see every day how couples assume intimacy will take care of itself, only to realize later that erotic connection also needs intention, care, and ongoing conversation. In this episode, I explore the idea of “sex vows” and why treating sexuality as a shared value rather than an obligation can transform long term relationships. I talk about how intimacy evolves over time, why curiosity matters more than performance, and how couples can intentionally protect their erotic connection from resentment, silence, and disconnection. Whether you are getting married, partnered long term, dating, or intentionally single, this episode invites you to reflect on how you want to show up sexually in your relationships and how intentional conversations about desire can deepen connection far beyond the bedroom. I also share examples of sex vows my partner and I have explored together to help you start creating your own. Because intimacy is not something you promise once. It is something you choose again and again. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

A new study suggests that more than a quarter of Americans are interested in open relationships and honestly, my jaw hit the floor. Not because non monogamy is better than monogamy, but because it tells us something much bigger about where relationships are headed. In this episode, I explore what this growing interest in non monogamous relationships actually means for modern dating, intimacy, and personal identity. We talk about why relationship styles are not in competition with each other, how insecurity often fuels unnecessary debates between monogamy and non monogamy, and why there is room for everyone to build relationships that genuinely fit their lives. I also dive into how cultural shifts are changing the way we think about love. From the loosening grip of purity culture to increasing relational curiosity, more people are questioning inherited relationship scripts and asking a powerful question: What do I actually want? This episode is not about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It is about intentionality, self awareness, and choosing connection from authenticity rather than obligation. Whether you practice monogamy, non monogamy, or are simply curious, this conversation invites you to rethink how we define healthy relationships in a modern world. Cheers to building connections that are ethical, consensual, and truly aligned with who we are. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

What does it really mean when someone says, “I feel sexually neglected”? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I explore a topic that comes up often in my therapy office and in many long term relationships. Sexual neglect is rarely just about sex. More often, it is about feeling unwanted, unseen, or no longer chosen by the person you love. We unpack why feelings of neglect show up in relationships, how stress and emotional overload impact desire, and why differences in attachment styles can create painful pursue and withdraw cycles between partners. Drawing from research on attachment theory, Emily Nagoski’s work on context dependent desire, and real clinical experience, this episode helps normalize what many couples quietly struggle with. I also introduce the concept of emotional anorexia, how emotional disconnection can slowly impact erotic connection, and why many partners unintentionally hurt each other without realizing it. You will learn how to approach conversations about sexual disconnection with curiosity instead of blame, understand what sex emotionally represents for each partner, and begin rebuilding connection through vulnerability and intentional turning toward one another. If you have ever felt unwanted in your relationship or struggled to understand why intimacy has changed, this episode offers compassion, insight, and practical ways forward. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, I am roasting the idea of soulmates and making it more open to our growth as humans.  New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

In this episode, I break down what squirting actually is, what it is not, and why so many people have been taught to misunderstand it. We talk about the biggest myths around squirting, including the belief that it equals orgasm or is the ultimate measure of pleasure. Spoiler alert: it is not. I explain the physiology behind squirting in an accessible way, why some people experience it and many never will, and why neither means anything about how good you are at sex. We also talk about pressure, performance, cleanup, nervous systems, and how porn culture has turned one possible bodily response into an unrealistic expectation. If you are curious about squirting, confused by it, frustrated by the pressure around it, or just want accurate sex education that does not shame bodies, this episode is for you. This is an informational, myth busting, sex positive conversation about real bodies, real pleasure, and letting go of goals that do not actually serve connection. As always, the focus is not doing sex right. It is understanding your body and staying curious. New episodes drop weekly! Looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, I am talking about the inevitability that your sexual self and your relationship with intimacy change over time. Don't freak out! I got you! New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

On this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I sit down with Tiffany Chin for a conversation that feels honest, thoughtful, and very needed right now. Tiffany is officially my first interview on Sex, Here & Now, and I could not have asked for a better person to kick this off with. We talk about how we met, how our work overlaps, and why helping clients navigate dating as singles and solos has become such an important part of modern therapy. We dive into the difference between being “single” and being “solo,” drawing from Peter McGraw’s framework, and unpack why singlehood is not a waiting room for partnership. It is a fully valid and healthy relationship style. We explore how dating should be an addition to your life, not the thing that defines your worth. We also get into BARs, boundaries, agreements, and rules, and why they matter no matter your relationship structure. We talk openly about heteronormativity and mononormativity in dating spaces, and how those systems shape the way people move through apps, relationships, and even therapy. There is something powerful about connecting with clients through shared lived experience, and Tiffany brings new perspective to what it means to build a life that feels full, whether partnered or not. If you are dating, questioning dating, happily single, intentionally solo, or trying to figure out where you land, this episode will give you language, validation, and maybe a little permission to do it differently. You can find Tiffany on Instagram @tiffany_chin  Looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!  

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, we are talking about how awkward sex can be. Sex is awkward! And in fact, we want it to be.  New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Dating today can feel exhausting, confusing, and honestly… like you’re doing everything wrong. In this episode, I break down what it actually means to date for you instead of dating to be liked, chosen, or approved of. We talk about mindful dating, knowing your why, cultivating confidence, using dating apps intentionally, and how the media you consume quietly shapes your dating experience. I also share a personal story about “the hockey guy” and how ignoring early signals can pull us away from ourselves, even when someone looks good on paper. This episode is for anyone who feels burnt out, stuck in patterns that do not serve them, or questioning whether dating is supposed to feel this hard. Dating is not about performing or proving your worth. It is about connection, clarity, and staying aligned with who you are. If you are ready to stop dating on autopilot and start dating with intention, this episode is for you. New episodes drop weekly! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, we are going to be exploring how desire is not a personality trait and why we need to stop treating it like it is. New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Why would I choose polyamory when monogamy is the default, the norm, and often the expectation? In this episode of Sex, Here and Now, I share why I chose to be poly and what that choice actually came from. This is not an argument for polyamory and it is not a how to guide. It is a personal reflection on curiosity, honesty, attachment, fear, growth, and the unlearning that comes with questioning relationship scripts we are told are universal. I talk openly about what drew me to polyamory, what felt uncomfortable in the beginning, what surprised me, and what this relationship structure continues to teach me about intimacy, jealousy, communication, and self responsibility. I also challenge the idea that polyamory is about avoiding commitment or wanting more sex, and instead explore it as a framework that requires intention, emotional labor, and deep honesty. This episode is for anyone who has ever questioned whether the relationship model they were given actually fits. Whether you are monogamous, polyamorous, curious, or somewhere in between, my hope is that this conversation invites you to think less about the “right” way to do relationships and more about what alignment actually looks like. Not all relationships struggle because of polyamory or monogamy. Some struggle because we never stop to ask ourselves what we truly want. Past Poly Episode New episodes drop weekly! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about romance, connection, and great sex. So why does it leave so many people feeling pressured, disappointed, or disconnected? In this episode, I unpack why Valentine’s Day wrecks so many sex lives. From unrealistic expectations and comparison culture to obligation sex and performative intimacy, we explore how a holiday meant to celebrate love often ends up doing the opposite. You’ll learn why pressure kills desire, how social media distorts intimacy, and why good sex cannot be scheduled by the calendar. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt behind, broken, or like they were doing relationships wrong on February 14th. Whether you are single, partnered, or polyamorous, this conversation invites you to step off the script and redefine intimacy on your own terms. Because Valentine’s Day is not a performance, and intimacy is not something you prove. New episodes drop weekly! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Well, this is my first expert on expert podcast episode. Who's excited? Today, I am chatting with Julie Labanz, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, owner of BeKnown Therapy in Cincinnati, Ohio, and a close personal friend. Julie and I talk about all things relating to Porn, masturbation, and why dating younger feels so icky for us. Before we get started, a quick disclaimer. This chat was recorded during an Instagram Live, so the audio may not be as crisp as usual. But I promise you, you will love this conversation. Julie is incredibly knowledgeable and I learn so much from her every time we talk. And with that, sit back and enjoy my conversation with Julie Labanz. New episodes drop weekly!   Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, we are going to be exploring why you need to stop waiting to talk about sex and just do it!  New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

In this episode, we get real about why so many people aren’t having sex and why that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship. I break down five common reasons intimacy fades, including lack of communication, avoiding vulnerability, unspoken resentment, waiting to feel “in the mood,” and simply not prioritizing connection. This episode is honest, validating, and grounded in what I see every day as a sex and relationship therapist, with the goal of helping you better understand what’s actually getting in the way of desire and how to start rebuilding intimacy.   New episodes drop weekly!   Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

We are back! We are motivated! We are talking about Heated Rivalry! In this episode: - I will talk about my obsession with Heated Rivalry. - Explore why representation matters for athletes and queer folx. - Explore the sex, duh! - Explain why this kind of content resonates with women.  New episodes drop weekly!   Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

I wanted to talk a little bit about polyamory today specifically, why you don’t have to be afraid of it. We poly folx are not here to get you and turn your partners into poly monsters who crave multiple partners. Lol. Today I wanted to focus on a few reasons why people don't need to fear this perfectly health relationship style.  Website and Socials below: Website: www.clevelandsextherapy.com Instagram: @clevelandsextherapy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clevelandsextherapy Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/clevelandsextherapy    Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Emily Nagoski created an amazing analogy to describe how we learn our sexuality.    Website and Socials below: Website: www.clevelandsextherapy.com Instagram: @clevelandsextherapy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clevelandsextherapy Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/clevelandsextherapy    Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Today I wanted to talk about some of my favorite quotes from prolific sex therapists, educators, and researchers. So let’s dive in!    You are not promised time you are promised change  - Emily Nagoski    Emotional intimacy kills passion - Chris Donaghue   Consent changes from moment to moment. - Matt Lachman   Sexual creativity is blocked by social conditioning. - Melissa Walker   Vulnerability is having the courage to show up when you do not know the outcome. - Brene brown   Our partner's sexuality does not belong to us.  - Ester Perel   Anything that takes place between two or more consenting adults is their business - Various    Website and Socials below: Website: www.clevelandsextherapy.com Instagram: @clevelandsextherapy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clevelandsextherapy Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/clevelandsextherapy    Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

It is really exciting to be back and providing the sex positive content that we all need. I am going to be doing things a little bit differently this time. These first few episodes will be coming straight from my Patreon. They are early access videos for my patrons turned into podcast episodes. After the first three or so, which I have already recorded, the episodes will be slightly more raw and unedited. I want you all to experience how my brain works on these specific topics so instead of spending hours and hours editing, I figured I would just speak truly and authentically from the heart. So here we go!  Today’s topic is a quick one. My top five tips as a sex therapist. What do I tell all my clients.The bread and butter of sex therapy.   Website and Socials below: Website: www.clevelandsextherapy.com Instagram: @clevelandsextherapy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clevelandsextherapy Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/clevelandsextherapy    Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

And here we go again... I am so happy to be back and providing sex-positive content for all of you wonderful listeners. In this return episode, I thought I would demystify some popular myths regarding intimacy and sexuality. Enjoy! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @ClevelandSexTherapy and check out my website, www.ClevelandSexTherapy.com for more content and information! Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Hello Everything! I thought with all the talk of COVID-19, I would dedicate an episode to it! In this episode, I spend some time talking about what to do and not do when it comes to physical intimacy and sexuality, as well as general self-care strategies we can all incorporate! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and look at my website, www.ClevelandSexTherapy.com for more information! Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

And we are back! This episode I talk about one of my favorite topics in the field of sex and relationship research, Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM). I explore the use of terms like "traditional" and "non-traditional" when we describe relationships, different forms of CNM, and finally barriers to the practice!  Also, stay tuned, as I will have my first interview coming in the next few weeks!  Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and look at my website, www.ClevelandSexTherapy.com for more information! Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Sex, Here & Now is back! This season you can expect more "sexy" information, new interviews, and as always, more sex positivity!  Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and look at my website, www.ClevelandSexTherapy.com for more information! Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast! Stay tuned!

Hello Everyone! With this being my last episode of the year, I thought I would touch upon some techniques you can incorporate with your partner to help heat up this winter season!  As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast! Have a great holiday season and see you in 2020!

Greetings Listeners! This episode, I decided to tackle one of my favorite topics of conversation: Kink Play! I provide an explanation of what a kink is (and isn't), how to support someone who has a kink, and also how to open up to your partner if you have a kink. The world of Kink is fascinating and has many layers so do not expect to know everything about it when the episode is complete. But don't worry, I plan to do many more in the future!  As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

This episode is all about the issues surrounding the court cases that were heard by The Supreme Court on Tuesday, 10/8/19. I talk about how (of course) it impacts the members of my community, the LGBTQIA+ community, but also heterosexual individuals as well.  Also, I plan on doing a "Mailbag" episode and answering some questions that you all have! Feel free to direct message me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod. As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

This week, I tackle our society's need to degrade other individuals, and also pinpoint specific words and phrases that I think need to be taken back from the world of sex-negativity.  Also, I plan on doing a "Mailbag" episode and answering some questions that you all have! Feel free to direct message me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod. As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

This week, I talk to you about the phenomenon known as Arousal Nonconcordance and the pioneer behind it. Also, a new mini-break about scheduling intimacy!  WARNING: This episode does talk about rape and sexual assault. As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!    

Masturbation gets a bad wrap. This week, I explore the history of physical self-stimulation, why people feel shame about this pleasurable behavior, and provide input on how to break the sex-negative cycle.  Also, a new mini-education break about gaining trust back in your relationship.  As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

This week, I dive into the (still relevant) topic of Toxic Masculinity and talk about its origins, what it looks like, and how our society can fight back against it. I also introduce a new segment specifically relating to Sex and Relationship Therapy.  As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Sex Addiction is one of the most detrimental concepts that has infiltrated our society today. Join me as I introduce you to the term, its origins, and why it is important to stop using this term before it causes any more damage. As always, don't forget to follow me on Instagram @Sex_HereAndNowPod and my website, www.sexherenow.com.  Make sure you like, subscribe, and rate my podcast!

Hello Everyone! Thanks for checking out the first episode of Sex, Here & Now! I wanted to note a few things for you, the listener: 1) Those are birds chirping in the background at the beginning of the recording. Still trying to work out some things. 2) This is a shorter episode. I wanted to start putting content out ASAP. 3) Most episodes will be around 30 minutes in length once I get the hang of things.  I hope you enjoy! Feel free to message me on my social media for any questions you may have regarding the topic. 

Preview of my new podcast, Sex, Here & Now