"She Seems So Normal" by Leigh Mackenzie

Episodes

1. 60

   Episode 60: Epilogue and The Rest of the 23rd (End Season 1)

   We wrap up the season with a bonus episode: The end narrative, final notes, and the rest of the 23rd psalm. How appropriate this final episode publishes three days after my 52nd birthday, on the 23rd of 2023? God has a crazy sense of humor. What's next for me? Stay tuned. Look for anxiety toolkit...

   May 23, 2023

   8m
2. 59

   Episode 59: Forgiveness Is Not A One And Done... Until It Is.

   The final gripping chapter in "She Seems So Normal" as the Holy Spirit helps me finally - truly - forgive, confront, and heal. You can't make this stuff up, Friends. Get the full story and all the resources: Buy The Book On Amazon-- Buy two and donate copies to your local ministry leader…

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   May 19, 2023

   6m
3. 58

   Episode 58: Forgiveness Is The Key To The Kingdom (ONLY TWO MORE EPISODES IN SEASON 1)

   Can we release others from their part in our suffering and pain? Is it possible to forgive the unforgivable? Is there absolution for abusers in heaven above - are s3xual predators saved from hell? With Jesus, the answer is yes. +++ “I do not think that all who choose wrong roads perish; but their...

   May 16, 2023

   8m
4. 57

   Episode 57: His Hand Covers Mine - "Precious"

   What does biblical healing look like between a husband and wife when one has trauma? How can God move a Christian marriage forward, heal deep rifts, and destroy lies from past distorted beliefs and storylines? There's hope for anyone questioning if their marriage can bounce back post-s3xual…

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   May 13, 2023

   6m
5. 29

   Episode 29: Don't Let Go (a creative fictionalized story of hope)

   A little girl abandoned in a dark cave, afraid she's all alone until she encounters a shining man with kind, gentle eyes with scarred feet and wrists. Can she trust him? **TW: While this is a creative fiction story, it may be triggering for anyone who has endured CSA, considered su!d!dal…

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   Dec 29, 2022

   9m
6. 34

   Episode 34: WHOOP WHOOP! Earnest Prayer PLUS BONUS INTERVIEW with Christopher

   "I just know (praying earnestly) really DOES work... I didn't care that I didn't know (all the details); I just needed it to work so that's what I prayed for. I don't understand, but God does, and so that's what faith is." *** What's the difference between praying and EARNEST praying? Ask...

   Dec 29, 2022

   15m
7. 11

   Episode 11: Is Mental Health the New Leprosy in Church? (Part 1, Condemnation is not a Spiritual Gift)

   ***WARNING: Though there is nothing explicit or overly descriptive, this episode contains material about su!cide ideation and depression.*** As someone who's struggled with mental health and trauma, I often wondered if I was disqualified not just from Christian service, but from being…

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   Dec 29, 2022

   5m
8. 54

   BONUS EPISODE: A Son's Perspective on His Traumatized Mom -- An (Entertaining and completely UNEDITED) Interview with Julian Mackenzie

   I am honored to share an interview with my son, Julian Mackenzie. (Follow his crazy antics on IG at jouglas_t!) ******* This one hurts. It hurts because it's raw and real. Really. I could've deleted this episode or changed my mind about leaving it unedited so you'd think better of me, but that...

   Dec 20, 2022

   25m
9. 46

   Episode 46: Warping the Image of God (Just when I thought it was getting easier to podcast... )

   TW: Dysfunctional food and eating issues are covered in this episode along with body dysmorphia and how it tied to my childhood grooming. *** Gah. Still struggle with this. That's why it's so HARD to release this one. There are some things that might always be broken in my brain. Can we ever heal...

   Dec 20, 2022

   11m
10. 56

    Episode 56: My Husband's Toes (MANY COPING STRATEGIES IN THIS "Where's Waldo?" episode )

    Yeesh. Feet. Who knew they were such a massive trigger for me? It all goes back to childhood memories and flashbacks I could never resolve until now. Friends, I am so thankful to know the truth, to find understanding, and to gain power over my past through the wisdom, knowledge, and love of the...

    Dec 13, 2022

    5m
11. 51

    BONUS EPISODE: Ewwwww, more toes. However... this is funny. I'm growing up.

    Gross--more toes, but I laugh through the entire episode at the back-and-forth between Christopher and me on this one. #traumahealing #ChristianMarriage #lovingyourhusband #loveoneanother #healingpodcast

    Dec 12, 2022

    3m
12. 55

    Episode 55: Sabotage Narratives We Write About Others (without their permission...)

    How many times do we write narratives about ourselves or others completely SABOTAGING our relationships? We make assumptions not based in reality or fact, we think we "know" someone when we haven't even given them the benefit of the doubt or a chance to prove us wrong... My session started with...

    Dec 9, 2022

    4m
13. 54

    Episode 54: Powered by Pickle Jars and Family Support--The Glass Smash

    The love of a husband for his traumatized wife and how one little family supported a beloved survivor through her healing process. I'm thinking I need to get Christopher a "PICKLE JAR POWER!" t-shirt now. Anyone have a good logo or design suggestion? :) This one is a long one. Split into two if…

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    Dec 6, 2022

    15m
14. 53

    Episode 53: Tools of the Trauma Trade "God's Toolbox" (Part 3)

    K, I'm so excited about this one! It's the last of the Three B's, BLESSING, and then we're gonna look upward toward heaven to examine God's Unlimited Toolbox! **** Did you know the book, She Seems So Normal: Shatter the Plastic Princess, Embrace Authentic Faith is available on Kindle and in print...

    Nov 29, 2022

    5m
15. 52

    Episode 52: Tools of the Trauma Trade: BREATH + BRAIN + BLESSING (Part 2 of 3)

    Three B's for your Anxiety Toolbox: BREATH + BRAIN + BLESSING = DE-ESCALATION. Chatting about the first two of three B's today. You won't wanna miss this... ***** Did you know She Seems So Normal: Shatter the Plastic Princess, Embrace Authentic Faith is now in the top fifty of Amazon Bestsellers...

    Nov 25, 2022

    9m
16. 51

    Episode 51: Tools of the Trauma Trade, Part 1

    This is a 3-part series on trauma. Today, we talk about negative coping tools. ****** Did you KNOW? You can now buy the book, She Seems So Normal: Shatter the Plastic Princess, Embrace Authentic Faith!! In it you'll get the FULL MEGILLAH, the whole story. I'm excited for you to read it....

    Nov 22, 2022

    5m
17. 50

    Episode 50: The Three Ways the Enemy Isolates; Isolation --> "I Solution"

    There's a HUGE difference between the spiritual practice of solitude and the enemy's methods of isolation. In this episode, I'm gonna share a few secrets of how d'Evil plays his wicked game and how you can defeat him. ******* Did you KNOW??? You can now BUY THE BOOK! ;) Read and then donate to a...

    Nov 18, 2022

    5m
18. 49

    Episode 49: Do A New Thing

    Can you do a new thing, pivot, and go in a new direction? OF COURSE YOU CAN! I did. Just ask NICODEMUS... Speaking of NICODEMUS, this religion-led dude figures it all out after a fifteen-minute convo with the Savior, but takes a "piano, piano" approach over time--little by little growing his...

    Nov 11, 2022

    5m
19. 48

    Episode 48: Underdogs Part 2. True Colors (Worship, Poverty, Suffering)

    One of my favorite teaching moments is in this episode. Honestly. I've wanted to write an entire book about the ladies of the Gospels for YEARS and I finally found a way to slip them in here. Maybe this needs to be another signature talk cuz I LOVE THEM! #traumahealing #healingpodcast...

    Nov 8, 2022

    5m
20. 47

    Episode 47: Underdogs, Part 1 (Gideon)

    SHARE THIS ONE. RATE THIS PODCAST. LEAVE A COMMENT how much you're enjoying it, okay? Ohhhhh, does God love the UNDERDOG? Yaaaasssss, Baby! You gotta hear this one. I loved how this turned out, Friends. Won't you LMK your thoughts here? #underdogs #traumahealing #traumawarriors #gideonteaching...

    Nov 4, 2022

    6m
21. 45

    Episode 45: What is "The Beautiful Fight"?

    If this sounds familiar to anyone, it's part of a talk on Suffering I gave years ago to more than 500 people at a women's conference. Though it's been modified for the book and my present circumstances, I remember praying and fasting in the 40 days before I gave this presentation. (check out the...

    Oct 28, 2022

    5m
22. 44

    Episode 44: What's Beautiful To God?

    beau·ti·ful /ˈbyo͞odəfəl/ adj. 1. pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically; 2. of a very high standard; excellent. *** A lotta people think they know what's beautiful. I thought I did. Boy, was I wrong. #traumahealing #godlovesyou #youarebeautiful #itsnotwhatyoudid #sheseemssonormal #healingpodcast

    Oct 25, 2022

    4m
23. 43

    Episode 43: New Normal - Embracing Authentic Faith (loads of Scripture for ya!)

    Where does God reside in our BROKENNESS? How does JESUS feel about our suffering? What does the Holy Spirit say about YOUR Broken Self? You might be surprised. Permit me to speak words of LOVE and HEALING over you in this short lil episode. (Then go read Psalm 103 in The Passion Translation!)...

    Oct 18, 2022

    4m
24. 42

    Episode 42: He Sings Over Me - Christopher Gives Me A New Song...

    Music trips my trigger like nothing else. See, my solo school singing stopped after my preschool graduation when I was just five years old. However, you're gonna hear me sing twice on this episode... yeah, it's scary and vulnerable to do it here, but you're getting the real vintage me. +++ DID…

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    Oct 14, 2022

    9m
25. 41

    Episode 41: When It Feels Like There's Too Much To Fix

    Friends, there are times when you're healing that it seems like there's just too much to fix. You wonder if you'll ever be better, ever have your ISH together... I got to the point of asking God if I was just too screwed up to be normal. (Are we allowed to say "screwed up" as nice Church people?...

    Oct 11, 2022

    5m
26. 40

    Episode 40: (Whaaaaat?!? 40 episodes?) Overcoming SHAME in Sacred Circles of Support

    Shame sucks. Research professor Dr. Brené Brown says to overcome shame, you have to speak what's unspeakable. What are we waiting for? ++++ DID YOU HEAR? The "She Seems So Normal: Shatter the Plastic Princess, Embrace Authentic Faith" book is now available for PREORDER in Kindle and paperback on...

    Oct 7, 2022

    6m
27. 39

    Episode 39: Prayer of the Loved and Lovable + the SHAKE IT OFF power of Jesus

    This is the second part on PRAYING... and the power of healing. "Thank you, Father for loving me and creating me to be lovable. Help me to overcome these lies. Your almighty power and glory are overwhelming and I bow down at the throne before you. Jesus, that you protect me from wrath by your...

    Oct 4, 2022

    5m
28. 38

    Episode 38: Hey! Change How You Pray--Loved and Despised

    How do you pray for OTHERS? How do you pray for YOURSELF? While I was perhaps good encouragement to those around me, I rarely encouraged myself in a truly godly way as I prayed. Instead, I spiritually poked “Me” with a stick, like a caged animal that is despised and hated, but one you put up with...

    Sep 30, 2022

    7m
29. 37

    Episode 37: The Power To Choose

    Words MATTER. What we say about OURSELVES matters. How long will we allow ourselves to be infected with what others have said about us or spoken over our lives? In Christ, we have the power to CHOOSE. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to...

    Sep 27, 2022

    5m
30. 35

    Episode 35: Su!c!de Is Off The Table (and how this affects your kids when they know it)

    The day I took su!c!de off the table for myself changed my relationship with my son. For those of you who know him, if you thought you loved my son Jug-Bug before, you'll see now what an absolutely remarkable young man he really is. Special Announcement: Bonus Episode of my interview with Julian...

    Sep 23, 2022

    7m
31. 33

    Episode 33: Writing Through Su!c!de, Important Information and Coping Mechanisms

    *****TW: Since it's National Suicide Prevention Month, I'll discuss about my own un-aliving struggles.*** If you or someone you know are struggling with this issue, please seek support and help immediately. Share this podcast episode--it's a little longer, around ten minutes, but it's worth it if...

    Sep 16, 2022

    10m
32. 32

    Episode 32: Avoid Isolation: It's Dark and Dangerous (plus a little about LIONS)

    "There's a big difference between quietly communing with the Father on a hilltop (solitude) and sharing communion with the enemy in our heads (isolation). One spiritually blesses and builds us up; the other spiritually bludgeons and bleeds us dry." How do YOU handle stress and anxiety? 1 Peter 5:...

    Sep 13, 2022

    7m
33. 31

    Episode 31: Unholy and Made for Destruction?

    TW: Description of potential physical mutilation. ************************************************ d'Evil--my name for satan... he is evil... and he doesn't deserve a capital letter indicating proper noun cuz there's NOTHING proper about his tactics and attacks. Spiritual Warfare is wicked. The...

    Sep 9, 2022

    7m
34. 30

    Episode 30: Jeremiah's Broken Pot

    Can God piece me back together? Is there any way to be valuable after trauma? The answer to both questions is a resounding YES! Click to see images of Japanese wabi-sabi kintsugi. Click and read Jeremiah 18.

    Sep 6, 2022

    2m
35. 28

    Episode 28: God and I Share Different Views on Brokenness

    Sometimes you're too far into therapy to step back out again or stop, but it seems like you'll have to endure an epic odyssey to get through it. This is where I found myself at this point of the narrative, desiring to go back to who I was before (she was at least "functioning") but knowing I...

    Aug 30, 2022

    8m
36. 27

    Episode 27: Halfway, The Worst of the Red Room

    ***TW: This episode alludes to a very short portion child r@pe and s*xual vi0lence without describing it in detail and includes my PTSD/trauma reactions to finally unraveling the mystery of the Red Room.*** Have you or someone you know been the victim of CSA? What advice do you have for others…

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    Aug 26, 2022

    3m
37. 26

    Episode 26: Back to the Living Room w the Littles: Fiends Masquerade as Friends

    "... even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." 2 Corinthians 11:14 (NASB) Have you ever been duped by a demon? Ever considered spiritual warfare? Let's just say that satan is a dirty dealer, a liar, and the master manipulator, shall we? When he convinces little girls to isolate, to…

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    Aug 23, 2022

    9m
38. 25

    Episode 25: Racehorses & Dancing with the d'Evil

    It was never about the effing horse. There I said it. If you need to unfollow this podcast I understand, but NOTE: I never actually say or write the real cussword... *** Dasanka was a beautiful beast who embodied, yea, personified evil to Little Me. God bless that equine, her memory became the…

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    Jul 12, 2022

    8m
39. 24

    Episode 24: Cancer SUCKS - Becoming Orphans

    FORGET 50/50. Marriage is always 60/40. You never know who's giving what or where you're sliding on the scale in that 20% spread, especially when you've been married 30 years like Christopher and me. "Cancer SUCKS - Becoming Orphans" is about the TRAUMA of losing a parent inside of the TRAUMA of…

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    Jul 8, 2022

    8m
40. 23

    Episode 23: The Baklava Day Analysis. What the Heck.

    Yeah, I know. Baklava comes up a lot, doesn't it? (Click on the LINK to discover a recipe for it!) What do you do with a PTSD event? Analyze it. ******* RESOURCES: all resources are suggested resources I found that might help you. They are not endorsements. Mayo Clinic information on PTSD…

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    Jul 5, 2022

    6m
41. 22

    Episode 22: The Children At War Within Me - Teen Me (part 2 of 2)

    **TW/CW: This episode contains discussion of ED (specifically an0rexia and bul!im!a), and vague su!cide and runaway ideations.** Any parents or tweens or teens here? (Raise yo hands! We need prayer!) The TEENAGER. She's a toughie, huh? I lived 35+ years with mine inside my head and she was a...

    Jun 29, 2022

    9m
42. 21

    Episode 21: Children at War Within Me - A Red Karmann Ghia and The Little Me's in the Living Room of My Mind (Part 1 of 2)

    Ever been emotionally hijacked... by your OWN BRAIN? **** My husband Christopher tells me he's leaving for business. A month in advance. Cuz he's thoughtful and kind like that. I completely WIG OUT. WHY? It all goes back to Little Me's memories of her daddy driving away in the Red Karmann Ghia.…

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    Jun 24, 2022

    11m
43. 20

    Episode 20: Red Christmas Trees and Perfectionism

    Recovering from trauma isn't all serious business, even when you're doing it before a world lockdown. Back before Christmas 2019 and before we had any inkling of the brewing pandemic a mere three months later, I began EMDR trauma therapy. Perfect timing. From a distance, it's good looking back…

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    Jun 21, 2022

    6m
44. 19

    Episode 19: If It Were A Snake... It Would Have Bitten You! (Look for support God is sending.)

    How many times has the LORD sent someone to help and YOU MISSED THEM? *** Huge shoutout to my 2019-2020 posse by name: Dr. Michele Novotni; Allison Harris; Tara Krueger (my EMDR therapist); Robin Wisner (compassionate processing partner); Tina Chambers Smith and Judy Dunagan (spiritual warfare...

    Jun 17, 2022

    4m
45. 18

    Episode 18: Big Emotions and my "Disneyfication" of Scripture

    You might think I'm crazy for asking, BUT... Have you ever imagined people from the Bible as Disney characters OR applied a rose-colored kaleidoscope to Scripture when it comes to strong emotions like ANGER? I laughed writing this episode thinking about Moses and meditating on King David. Sadly…

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    Jun 14, 2022

    6m
46. 17

    Episode 17: Never Jump Scare Me! Never. (... and Back to Baklava)

    If you're losing your ISH all over the place as I did, you might consider some professional help. ;) Wisdom matters: Proverbs 15: 22; 11: 14; 20: 18. *** Yeah, it's not a pretty story, but I'm still calling out my buddy Johnno in this episode. Funny, I think he now works for the sheriff......

    Jun 10, 2022

    6m
47. 16

    Episode 16: Burned Hands and Baklava

    Hey, Friends! It's Leigh. I took a few weeks off to finish up edits on the book, "She Seems So Normal: Shattering the Plastic Princess, Embracing Authentic Faith" but we're back on track for more podcast episodes! **All you bakers out there gonna be shakin yo' heads...** (PYREX FOLLIES) Maybe I'm...

    Jun 7, 2022

    7m
48. 15

    Episode 15: One Night Changed My Future - Why Didn't I Leave The Room? (Part 2 of 2)

    A walk into darkness. Learned Helpless and Trained Powerlessness. Elephants. Pointed questions answered. * **POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING EPISODE** Though there is no explicit content, some listeners may have a trauma-triggered response. Subject matter contains vague descriptions of SA, r@pe,...

    May 17, 2022

    12m
49. 14

    Episode 14: One of the Hardest Stories I've Never Shared--Why Didn't I Leave The Room? (Part 1 of 2)

    **POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Contains potentially mature content. Vague descriptions of hazing, intimidation, and coercion.** What do grenades have to do with a trauma journey? In 1989, I received my congressional nomination for the prestigious US Military Academy at West Point, and though I...

    May 13, 2022

    9m
50. 13

    Episode 13: Is Mental Health The New Leprosy Inside The Church? (Part 2: What Is Courage?)

    People say it takes courage to go through therapy and tell their story. I haven’t felt courageous whatsoever. Mostly, I've felt terrified, afraid of really knowing - and afraid of never knowing - what my issues were. If courage is the ability to persevere and withstand danger, fear, or…

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    May 6, 2022

    5m