Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

In this season finale, Cathy and Meredith wrap up season five by reflecting on what they're looking forward to this summer and sharing their hopes for families navigating the months ahead with teens. Drawing on stories from their own childhoods, they discuss the value of boredom, unstructured time, and opportunities for kids to build independence, creativity, and responsibility. They explore why meaningful work, manual labor, and experiences that broaden a teen's perspective can be so formative during adolescence. The conversation also offers practical ideas for parents, from doing things alongside their children to bringing them into the rhythms and responsibilities of everyday adult life. Cathy and Meredith also stress the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries on screen time and social media and remind parents to make room for rest, reconnection, and the kind of growth that happens when kids are given both purpose and space to thrive. Thanks for tuning in!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] The last episode of season five! [0:02:40] What Cathy and Meredith are looking forward to this summer. [0:05:07] Their hope for how summer shapes up for families with kids. [0:06:45] What they used to do when we were bored as kids. [0:09:50] A reminder to do something alongside your children during summer. [0:11:45] Why they are big believers in adolescents doing manual labor and serving a purpose outside of themselves. [0:15:45] The importance for kids to get proximate to difference. [0:17:20] The value of working on independence over summer. [0:18:30] Pressing into unstructured time to boost imagination, creativity, and reset the body. [0:19:00] Let them (the teenagers) rest. [0:20:40] Why parents shouldn’t relax restrictions around screen time and social media. [0:23:55] Bringing your kids to work with you. [0:25:00] Final thoughts from Cathy and Meredith on summer and season five. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Brian Stevenson Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What changed for teenagers this year, and what should parents be paying closer attention to? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith take a look at the trends they have been noticing across teens, schools, technology, and college admissions. Cathy and Meredith discuss how AI is affecting the way students learn, where students still need support, and why parents need to educate themselves on AI. They unpack the effects of social media and screen time on attention, critical thinking, and maturity, while also highlighting the entrepreneurial spirit and confidence they see in many teens today. They also delve into the uncertain future of liberal arts education, growing concerns about career preparedness, the cost of college, and the ways changing admissions practices are creating new stress for students and families. To find out what today’s teens are navigating and how parents can better understand the pressures impacting their teens, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Why Cathy and Meredith are talking about the biggest teen trends of the year. [0:02:12] Learn how teens are using AI as a unique and effective study tool. [0:03:12] Discover the risks of giving teens access to AI without boundaries. [0:06:20] Find out how handwriting, note-taking, and study skills are changing. [0:08:36] Examine why today’s teens may have a lower ability for critical thinking. [0:10:09] Understand how social media is reshaping attention, reading, and free time. [0:12:19] Unpack the confidence and entrepreneurial energy many teens display. [0:13:17] Explore why liberal arts education is facing an uncertain future. [0:15:25] Hear why students are more focused on jobs, money, and practical majors. [0:18:30] Overview of the admissions issues affecting deadlines and waitlists. [0:20:00] What the future looks like for colleges and admission processes.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Dr. Devorah Heitner Growing Up in Public The New York Times Episode 142: The Kids Are Alright: Good News About Today's Teens Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Are today’s teenagers really as disconnected, anxious, and screen-addicted as the headlines make them seem? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith take a more hopeful look at what is going well with this generation and why the kids really are alright. They discuss declining rates of risky behavior, the ways young people are becoming more open about mental health, and how today’s teens are often more comfortable talking about identity, inclusion, and social responsibility. They also explore how teenagers today are often more connected to their parents, more willing to have real conversations, and more interested in making a difference than simply chasing money or status. Tune in for an encouraging conversation about why parents, educators, and anyone working with teenagers should pause to notice what is working, and remember that there is still plenty of hope for the future. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:25] The motivation behind today’s topic: what is going well with teens today. [0:03:03] How risky behaviors like drinking, drug use, sex, and teen pregnancy have declined. [0:06:01] Hear how teens are more open about mental health and learning differences. [0:06:43] Find out how teens are more aware of identity and inclusion. [0:08:13] Understand how young people see justice, equity, and accessibility. [0:09:24] Discover why teens see fewer barriers to investing and business. [0:10:34] Explore how the internet has helped teens find and create opportunities. [0:11:05] Learn why community engagement is common for many teens. [0:12:34] Unpack why teens today are closer to their parents. [0:14:58] Simple actions for parents to highlight their teen’s positive behaviour. [0:16:20] Uncover how college pressure can make parents overlook what is going well. [0:17:36] Why Cathy and Meredith feel hopeful about today’s teenagers. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

One of the biggest parts of the college application process is the personal statement, and it has the potential to cause the most amount of stress for students! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are giving you a behind-the-scenes look into our Summer College Essay Intensive. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why the stakes are high for this assignment, why we have decided to do a workshop to support students with their essays, what the workshop entails, and so much more! We delve into why we get students to look at case studies before breaking down the different ways Meredith and Cathy approach college essays and how they make such a great team. We even touch on the importance of making this essay personal and how we help the students make it unique. Finally, we explain why we make our students revise their essays multiple times until they’re strong personal statements that will help them get into college. To hear all this and find out how to join the workshop, be sure to press play now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:22] Today’s topic: Insight into the Summer College Essay Intensive. [0:03:40] Why we do a workshop for kids to help them with essay writing. [0:06:59] Breaking down the structure of this workshop from days one to four. [0:10:34] How we help the students come up with a topic and why it’s difficult. [0:16:00] Why Meredith and Cathy are the ‘Yin and Yang’ of college essay writing. [0:18:50] The importance of making this statement deeply personal. [0:23:36] Why the strength in essays comes out through repetition. [0:28:23] How to enroll your kids in the workshop.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Summer College Essay Intensive Email us: [email protected]  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We’re told to pump up teens’ self-esteem—but that stuff is flimsy, more like a quick dopamine snack than a solid meal. One bad grade or missed hangout and poof, it’s gone. What actually sticks? Self-worth—the quiet, stubborn belief that they matter no matter what. Join Meredith and Cathy on today’s episode as they dig into managing a child who doesn’t seem to like themselves. They look at the difference between self-esteem and self-worth, unpack the signs of a child with an underdeveloped sense of self-worth, and share examples of how people-pleasing behaviors show up in adolescence. They also examine how well-meaning parenting can accidentally reinforce low self-worth and share thoughtful ways to help kids develop self-worth that holds steady through life’s ups and downs. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Introduction and welcome to another episode! [0:01:30] A thought exercise to kick off today’s topic. [0:02:40] Today’s focus: managing a child with low self-esteem. [0:03:45] The difference between self-esteem and self-worth. [0:06:50] Signs that a child has an underdeveloped sense of self-worth. [0:11:30] How people-pleasing behaviors can show up in adolescence. [0:13:45] Examples of parental participation that reinforce low self-worth. [0:19:25] Praising your child for who they are (not what they did/do). [0:20:00] What parents can do to build self-worth. [0:27:50] The importance of paying close attention to your child’s temperament. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Mental Health Red Flags (Episode with Cristina Perez) Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What is the difference between a good student and a good learner? Or are they the same thing? Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith unpack an article from the Harvard Gazette titled ‘What makes a good student’ and share their take on it. They explain that it’s not just about grades—especially with grade inflation—but about things like curiosity, integrity, and being open to different ideas. They also explore how integrity can look different in high school versus college, the importance of engaging with all the different aspects of your college experience, and what schools are really looking for in a student. They emphasize that a good learner is someone who takes risks, asks the right questions (and keeps asking them), and is someone who truly wants to understand more. The main takeaway is that real learning isn’t about perfect notes or staying busy; it’s about being engaged, thinking deeply, and genuinely wanting to grow.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:49] Today’s topic of conversation: what makes a good student. [0:01:12] Why it’s important we talk about this. [0:02:20] Our thoughts on why integrity matters (and the reality of it). [0:04:45] Entering college without understanding what a college professor counts as cheating. [0:05:04] The importance of minding all the different parts of your college experience. [0:06:10] A key distinction between a good student and a good learner. [0:10:15] Cathy and Meredith share practical tips to inspire intellectual curiosity. [0:13:00] Why students should ask the right questions (on repeat!) [0:14:30] A willingness to engage with perspectives that aren’t the same as yours. [0:18:10] Confusing busyness with learning. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘What makes a good student’ Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Did one awkward tour guide just cancel four years of opportunity? Is “The vibe was off” a valid reason not to apply? If you need some tips on navigating reasons your kids are ruling out colleges, then today’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You is for you! Join Cathy and Meredith as they talk listeners through the reality of the college process, the teenage brain, and ultimately, a list of (for lack of a truly better word) dumba** reasons kids give for not wanting to apply to certain colleges! They share practical advice on how to combat these reasons and highlight truths every student needs to hear as they navigate the journey to college. Thanks for tuning in!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:00:45] Today’s hot topic: Dumba** reasons kids give for not liking a college. [0:02:16] The reality of the college process. [0:02:40] Dumba** reasons NOT to cut a school from your list. [0:07:30] The teenage brain: the importance of fitting in. [0:07:50] More dumba** reason for not liking colleges. [0:10:18] Combatting the duma**ery: prove it. [0:14:15] Reminding your students that college is (actually) school. [0:15:15] Asking kids to be rigorous when they’re evaluating colleges. [0:17:20] A peek into the frustrations of the teenage mind. [0:17:30] The big one: high school sweethearts. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do's/Don'ts for Parents and Teens Are College Visits Necessary? The Real Impact of Campus Tours on College Choice Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Teenagers often overcomplicate the activities they participate in to impress colleges when, in reality, they can find something simple and meaningful that could be just as impressive, and in the process, they may actually discover a true passion. In this conversation, you’ll hear some real-life examples of a few of the interesting and ‘out-of-the-box’ things our students have done that they are passionate about and are compelling to colleges. From selling drawings of people’s pets for charity to helping a former teacher’s sister navigate ALS using technology, these examples are fascinating and inspirational! We even touch on a few activities our students have tried and failed at. Finally, we talk about purposeful and engaging things Cathy and Meredith are doing in their personal lives at the moment. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:19] Today’s topic: unique things teenagers are doing that are compelling to colleges.  [0:04:01] Some real-life examples of cool things teens we know are passionate about.  [0:14:06] A failed activity a student tried and how she overcame that obstacle. [0:16:17] Purposeful and engaging things we are doing in our own lives. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do’s/Don’ts for Parents and Teens Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Are you worrying about your high school student’s ability to be independent? You’re not alone! There are many things teenagers should be doing but aren’t, and they need to learn how to take care of themselves in order to be able to function without their parents when they go to college. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Meredith and Cathy sit down to talk about a few of the things teenagers should be able to do, but often can’t. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the importance of teaching teens to manage their time, budget, do their own laundry, advocate for themselves, and so much more! From packing for themselves for vacations to driving themselves around, this episode touches on so many things your high school students need to do alone to become functional members of society, so be sure to press play now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Today’s topic: what teens should be doing but aren’t.  [0:03:02] Why teens need to manage their time and drive themselves around.  [0:05:33] The importance of teaching teens how to use household appliances.  [0:07:52] Empowering teenagers to learn how to write their own emails.  [0:09:30] Why teens need to learn to advocate for themselves when things go wrong.  [0:11:45] The power of resilience and why teens should challenge themselves more. [0:13:18] Basic money management and budgeting for teenagers.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

There is a lot of college admissions advice out there, and honestly? A lot of it is just wrong. In this episode, we’re calling some of it out. We get into the kinds of tips a lot of people think are useful, but don’t actually help. Like forcing or inventing opportunities for volunteering, chasing a single “passion,” or loading up on as many APs as possible. Instead, we talk about what really stands out: curiosity, trying things, changing direction, and showing genuine maturity. Because at the end of the day, admissions officers can tell the difference between what’s real and what’s performative, and that distinction matters more than most people realize. Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:10] Why it’s important to discuss college admission advice that’s just wrong.  [0:03:45] How not to help your child get volunteering experience.  [0:06:53] Whether or not it’s actually important to have a passion. [0:08:19] Demonstrating leadership and maturity.  [0:10:50] Why you don’t have to take as many APs as you can. [0:13:31] What really needs to go into an essay (and what doesn’t).  [0:15:11] Meredith and Cathy’s four-day workshop on personal essays.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Inside the Yale Admissions Podcast Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

If you’re the parent of a child who is applying for college, you may need to take a big step back. During this episode, you’ll find out what helps the process and what actually hinders it, and why the most important thing is to allow your child to take ownership of the process. It takes confidence to do that, and during this conversation, we also unpack how to support your child by avoiding some of the pitfalls many of our parents fall into during this critical time. Join us to learn how to work with your college counselor and put your own anxiety and biases aside to truly work towards the best possible fit for your child’s future. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:09] Who you don’t want to be as the parent of a child approaching college age. [0:02:39] Why parents who refer to it as “our” college list are a pet peeve. [0:05:00] The “Ivy or bust” parent whose primary focus is prestige matching. [0:08:48] Anxious parents and excessive communication. [0:11:31] Parents who are convinced that they have the inside scoop on applications. [0:13:52] Why some parents are determined to put other kids down. [0:15:25] How college counselors would love parents to show up to college counseling meetings. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Your kid has finally received their decision letters from colleges, but now what? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith unpack the steps that follow after your kid gets into college and the protocols that parents should take into consideration. They delve into the various outcomes of college admissions, including acceptance, denial, waitlisting, and alternative options like spring admission or a year abroad. They explore how trends in enrolment management impact admissions, the steps that follow after receiving admission offers, and what aspects to consider when comparing schools. Cathy and Meredith also break down what waitlists really mean, when an appeal is worth it, and how colleges shift into “courting mode” once a student is admitted. They discuss why students should prioritize finding a place that feels like home and aligns with their personal and academic goals, how parents can communicate their expectations effectively without imposing their opinions, and how to help your kid navigate rejection and celebrate wins. Tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic. [0:01:48] Learn about the various outcomes of a college application. [0:03:22] Hear why colleges offer spring admits and year-abroad programs. [0:05:05] Explore the concept of ‘summer melt’ and how college waitlists work. [0:08:50] Find out how likely it is to get your kid off the waitlist. [0:09:49] Whether to appeal a decision after a denial. [0:11:17] How to pick the right school and the actual deadline for making a decision. [0:15:28] What aspects to focus on when deciding between similar options. [0:20:19] Advice for parents on how to support your kids through wins and disappointments. [0:26:48] Understand why it is important to celebrate wins with discretion.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

In this episode, Cathy and Meredith deliver a polite but unmistakable reality check: in the realm of highly selective college admissions, a couple of B’s — and especially a few C’s — are not simply “character building.” At institutions with acceptance rates in the low single digits, those grades can subtly move an application out of serious contention. In this arena, near-perfect academic performance isn’t a gold star — it’s the price of entry. That said, a disappointing grade is not the end of the story — it may simply redirect it. Join the conversation as they explore what a “bad” grade really means, the importance of thoughtful course selection and realistic calibration, and why a child’s self-worth should never be tethered to a transcript. Thanks for listening in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:45] The topic for today’s episode: can you come back from a bad grade? [0:02:50] What a bad grade means for a highly selective college admission. [0:05:30] Why you can’t pull your kid out and repeat the year somewhere else. [0:05:55] The asterisk: a transformational life event. [0:08:30] Calibration and course selection. [0:09:20] A positive note: there are a lot of non-selective, great schools in the US. [0:10:00] The comeback: Cathy unpacks how to come back from a bad grade. [0:12:00] Why we shouldn’t attach self-worth to the grade our children get. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Helping kids build motivation and overcome procrastination is one of the hardest things we teach as executive function coaches, and that you need to teach as a parent! It’s a delicate balance of guidance, patience, and strategy. In this episode, we dive into the complexities of coaching executive function, exploring why teaching skills alone isn’t enough to inspire real change. From navigating resistance and introducing consequences effectively to knowing when stepping back is the most empowering move, we break down practical approaches that actually work. Whether your child struggles with habits, motivation, or following through, this conversation offers insights and actionable strategies to support their growth without frustration. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:54] Why coaching executive function is about more than teaching skills. [0:04:55] The real challenge of convincing a kid to change their habits. [0:07:50] What to do when your child is unwilling to make a change.  [0:10:14] Why sometimes being ‘hands off’ with your child is the most empowering thing you can do for them. [0:13:22] Examples of what it might look like to introduce consequences. [0:16:57] Why endless threatening with no consequences is the worst thing you could do. [0:18:20] Adjusting your expectations of your child to adopt your systems.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

In today’s episode of Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera tackle the growing reality of “boomerang kids”—young adults who return home after college and struggle to relaunch into independence. Cathy and Meredith unpack the emotional tug-of-war parents face as they try to be supportive without enabling, especially in today’s challenging economic and digital job landscape. From setting clear financial expectations and timelines to redefining household responsibilities, they explore how parents can encourage growth without making home life too comfortable. This episode offers candid insight into drawing the line between support and stagnation, and how honest communication and smart boundaries can help a temporary return home stay just that: temporary. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Today’s topic of conversation: The Boomerang Effect. [0:01:50] A High School Cheer by Cathy Chen. [0:02:30] Why this is happening now, more than ever before. [0:04:10] The proverbial “rock and a hard place” for parents. [0:05:50] Turning the dial up on the home discomfort. [0:07:40] How the economy and job market are affecting our post-college kids. [0:09:30] The parent strategy: reset conversations, an established timeline, and boundaries. [0:13:00] The “real life” Wrinkle and how to navigate gaining professional skills in this market. [0:18:30 Parents fearing the complacency. [0:20:00] The lever for parents: financial control. [0:21:25] Meredith shares her thoughts on the difference between support and enabling. [0:22:55] What the bottom line looks like. [0:23:20] The difference between a launched kid at home and a boomerang kid. [0:25:30] Get those boomerangs out there! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is pushing your child to maximize their potential 24/7 doing more harm than good? On Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dig into the tension between kids who feel content and parents who keep pushing for more. They challenge the idea that success equals constant achievement, unpacking how that mindset fuels anxiety and fragility. Real growth, they argue, comes from balancing ambition with knowing when “enough” is enough. Tune in to hear why contentment isn’t a lack of drive, what life actually looks like for students who are always “maximizing their potential,” and how parents can model a healthier, more realistic version of “good enough.” Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:10] Listeners are introduced to today’s topic: contentment vs. potential. [0:02:50] Unwittingly training never-satisfied adults. [0:04:10] What is enough for our kids? [0:05:05] Conflating contentment with lack of ambition: check the facts. [0:06:50] The pressure to help kids discover what’s out there. [0:08:00] What we see with students who “Maximize their potential”. [0:08:50] When parents should pay attention. [0:10:45] Coaching versus controlling your kids. [0:12:30] The danger of narrowly defining potential. [0:15:40] Understanding what value is driving our high standards. [0:17:20] Why you can have it all, just not all at once. [0:17:55] Where parents can demonstrate “good enough” contentment. [0:18:25] Areas where Meredith and Cathy are going to practice more contentment this week. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Are you helping your teen or quietly running their life for them? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the subtle but common ways parents overcompensate for their teenagers and how that can unintentionally hinder the development of important life skills. They walk through the various real-world examples of excessive support, why encouraging independence and problem-solving skills in teens is essential, what drives parents to overcompensate, and a practical way for parents to check if they are doing too much. They also explore how providing too much support can prevent teens from learning essential life skills, how to shift from being a fixer/manager to actually being supportive of your teenager, and how to know when it is the right time to step in. Join the conversation to learn how to spot overparenting in the moment, provide healthier support, and help your teen build confidence. Tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:26] Outline of today’s topic and what listeners can expect from the episode. [0:02:49] Hear why emailing/texting on a teen’s behalf is a clear sign of overparenting. [0:04:25] What do to when your teenager asks you to communicate on their behalf. [0:05:47] How to know the difference between managing your teen and supporting them. [0:08:31] Explore how the need to manage often reflects the parent’s own anxiety. [0:09:45] A pattern where teens constantly seek approval and how parents reinforce it. [0:11:37] Discover why it is vital that teens overcome challenges on their own. [0:14:31] Uncover how to provide support while letting your teen learn important life skills. [0:15:14] Why repeated check-ins and reminders are clear signs of overparenting. [0:17:00] Find out how to know when it is the right time to step in and help your teen. [0:19:49] Unpack how a parent’s behavior toward staff can indirectly impact their teen. [0:21:50] Final takeaways and closing comments. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘Why Nagging Your Teen Doesn’t Work (and What to Do Instead)' Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

In this episode, hosts Cathy and Meredith dive into a well-meaning phrase adults often say to high school seniors and why it can do more harm than good. Telling students they’re “definitely getting in” to selective colleges may sound encouraging, but it can actually create unnecessary pressure and lead to major disappointment if rejection letters arrive. Cathy and Meredith unpack how today’s college admissions process is far more competitive than many adults realize, making these kinds of assurances unrealistic. Instead of offering false certainty, they encourage parents, mentors, and educators to celebrate students’ effort, growth, and resilience, and to remind them that their success isn’t defined by any single admissions decision. Tune in for yet another short but power-packed episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Welcome back: an update from Cathy and Meredith! [0:02:10] Today’s topic: adults saying things they don’t have the authority to say. [0:03:00] Why you shouldn’t say “you’ll get in [to college]” to a kid. [0:04:50] What we need to emphasize instead. [0:08:00] The well-intentioned alleviation of stress and what kids actually need. [0:11:30] Why preparing for rejection is more beneficial than false encouragement. [0:12:10] Alternative phrases you can say instead. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Sometimes the simplest habits can have the biggest impact on teenagers’ wellbeing. Today, Cathy and Meredith kick off the new year by naming three foundational habits they believe matter most for teens: sleep, screen use, and healthy play and physical movement. Drawing on years of coaching experience, they explain why sleep is essential during adolescence, how screens interfere with focus and rest, and why play and exercise are critical for mood and development. The conversation also looks at how phones, laptops, and emerging technologies shape teens’ daily lives, and why relying on self-control alone to resist them is not realistic. Along the way, Cathy and Meredith share practical ways families can support healthier routines without overhauling everything. These habits may sound basic, but they support long-term growth in powerful ways. Tune in for a grounded conversation about helping teens thrive by getting the basics right!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:02:02] Today’s topic: Three healthy habits we’d love for teenagers to adopt. [0:03:20] Why getting good sleep is such an important foundational habit for teen wellbeing. [0:04:56] Reminder: teens need more sleep than adults during this stage of development. [0:05:56] Building better screen habits: why screens are a major barrier to focus and rest. [0:06:47] The case for changing structures, not just asking kids to resist phones. [0:08:35] Concerns about kids and teens using chatbots to meet social and relational needs. [0:09:51] Creating screen-free time before bed as a family habit. [0:11:09] Why we’d love to see more teens engage in physical movement and healthy play. [0:15:05] How overscheduling crowds out sleep, movement, and downtime. [0:16:16] Playing the long game when supporting teen growth and development. [0:18:12] Why adolescents still need boundaries, not total independence. [0:24:08] Some of the habits that we are focusing on this year for ourselves. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: ‘As more teens use AI chatbots, parents and lawmakers sound the alarm about dangers’ ‘Teens are having disturbing interactions with chatbots. Here's how to lower the risks’ Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Visiting colleges has become more about fitting in and ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ than getting the information you need to make your college choice. Today on the show, we are discussing whether college visits are actually necessary. Tuning in, you’ll hear why Cathy thinks college visits are overrated, how her opinion has shifted over the years, what technology has done to change things, and so much more! You’ll hear when college visits may be helpful and when they may be harmful before we discuss why we need to deconstruct the ‘preciousness’ surrounding how we treat certain colleges. We even talk about how resilient teenagers are and why we believe they can make the most of their circumstances. Finally, we touch on the importance of critical self-reflection as college counsellors. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:48] Cathy’s unpopular opinion: college visits are overrated.  [0:03:37] What has shifted in Cathy’s opinion of college visits. [0:05:10] Why visiting colleges may be helpful and how technology has changed the game.  [0:07:53] An example of a situation where visiting colleges could backfire.  [0:12:09] When taking a visit to a college may actually be beneficial. [0:15:44] Deconstructing the way we treat certain, more ‘elite’ colleges. [0:17:36] The kinds of personalities that may need to visit colleges.  [0:20:27] How this discussion has reminded us to self-reflect more often.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Not all summer activities help teens grow, even when they look impressive on paper. In this episode, Meredith and Cathy take on the summer advice that drives them crazy and often leads teens and parents in the wrong direction. They unpack why cookie-cutter internships, pay-to-play “prestige” programs, and résumé-padding service trips often miss the point, especially when they are handed to teens rather than earned. Drawing on years of admissions and coaching experience, they explain why real growth comes from embracing discomfort, taking initiative, and doing the work yourself. The conversation explores how parental over-involvement can undermine maturity, why doing nothing all summer is not the same as rest, and how teens can get unstuck when they feel paralyzed by too many options. Listen in for a grounded, honest look at what actually makes a summer meaningful for teens! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:08] Today’s topic: What you shouldn’t do during your summer break. [0:04:52] Why most internships raise red flags for us. [0:06:15] The difference between earned opportunities and parent-arranged internships. [0:08:38] Our strong stance against pay-to-play academic programs. [0:09:40] Warning signs of expensive leadership programs that exploit parent anxiety. [0:12:39] When international service trips fall flat and when they actually matter. [0:16:57] Doing absolutely nothing all summer, and why that is also a problem. [0:17:34] Why teens shouldn’t choose summer plans based on friends or trends. [0:18:20] Navigating paralysis when teens have multiple interests. [0:20:17] Letting teens do the hard work instead of clearing the path for them. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

This time of year can be very stressful for seniors applying to college, and they all need a break from the college discussions and pressure that comes with it. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on what not to say during the holidays. You’ll hear all about what topics to avoid, why teenagers need a certain degree of privacy, how you can express care and interest without asking too many personal questions, and more! We talk about how to prepare your teenagers for these discussions before discussing what not to say to younger kids applying to private independent schools. Lastly, we share some examples of things you can talk about with teens other than college. Thanks for tuning in!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:20] Today’s topic: what not to say to teens during the holidays. [0:03:20] Why you shouldn’t ask teens about college and other private topics. [0:08:10] Cathy shares an example of an inappropriate holiday discussion. [0:10:20] How to express interest in college applications without prying too much. [0:11:34] What kids can say when they don’t want to answer personal questions.  [0:13:47] How this also applies to younger kids applying to private independent schools.  [0:15:46] What you can talk about with teens instead of talking about college applications. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

AI is changing how students navigate the college admissions process, and knowing how to use it well can save families time and stress. In this episode, Cathy and Meredith focus on the most effective and responsible ways teens can use AI for college search, planning campus visits, organizing supplements, preparing for interviews, and comparing schools. They explain why AI is a powerful tool for reflection and structure in essay writing, but not a replacement for a student’s real voice. They also address concerns about accuracy, misuse, and school policies around AI. Looking ahead, they share why AI will likely reshape admissions in the coming years and what families should keep in mind as the landscape evolves. Tune in for clear, practical insights on using AI wisely in the admissions journey! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:20] Today’s topic: how AI is shaping the college admissions process. [0:02:38] Cathy and Meredith’s mixed feelings about adopting new AI tools. [0:04:30] How students, parents, and counselors can use AI for college search. [0:06:06] Teaching students to research colleges using AI and multiple sources. [0:08:41] Why AI is helpful but never exhaustive in list-building. [0:09:54] Using AI as an essay-editing tool, not a writer, in the admissions process. [0:14:48] How AI can help you identify distinctive program features and compare colleges. [0:16:52] AI as a time-saver for planning tours and organizing writing requirements. [0:17:35] The right and wrong ways to use AI in admissions work. [0:17:56] Looking ahead at how AI may reshape future college applications. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Anxiety is a common experience among teenagers, and today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are sharing some tips for parenting teens with anxiety! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about how anxiety manifests differently in different people, what it looks like in teens on a basic level, how to know when it’s affecting how they function, and the importance of helping teens get out of their heads to combat anxiety. We delve into why feelings need to be named, acknowledged, and felt before discussing why anxiety is contagious, how to model behavior for your teens, and how to make sure co-regulation is effective. We even talk about the difference between sphere of influence and sphere of control and why you should validate your kids’ emotions first. Finally, we touch on the value of exercise for teenagers and how to keep an eye on your kids’ anxiety to avoid bigger, clinical issues. Thanks for listening in! Key Points From This Episode: [0:03:16] Today’s topic of discussion: how to parent anxious kids.   [0:04:41] How anxiety manifests differently in Meredith and Cathy. [0:06:42] What anxiety looks like in teens and how to know if it’s affecting them. [0:10:45] How to help teenagers bring themselves back to the present moment. [0:18:12] The power of modeling behavior and how to properly co-regulate.  [0:22:33] Why you should validate before you problem-solve (if at all). [0:24:21] Explaining the difference between sphere of influence and sphere of control. [0:25:49] The value of physical movement and exercise for teenagers. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Today we’re unpacking the UC application, partly because the online advice is… all over the place. With the December 1st deadline coming up, we break down why the UC application is different from the Common App and what actually matters. We walk through the Personal Insight Questions, how to choose which ones to answer, how to navigate impacted majors, and how to approach the activities section thoughtfully. We also touch on why context and extenuating circumstances should be included, plus a common UCLA mistake to avoid. If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed as you finalize your application, you’re not alone, and this episode will help you move forward with clarity. If you have questions or concerns, let us know.  Thanks for listening. Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:28] How the UC application differs from the Common App. [0:05:00] The personal insight questions included in the application process. [0:06:30] Strategizing around impacted majors.   [0:10:35] How to approach the UCPIQs.  [0:13:59] Why it is important to list extenuating circumstances or context in your application. [0:15:45] One of the common mistakes students make on their UCLA applications. [0:17:15] A common misstep around applications during this time of year. [0:18:55] How to approach the activities summary on the UC application. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: College Admissions Insider Interview with Gary Clark UC admissions REACTS to TikTok application advice Counselors and Advisers Bulletin Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The school profile is an essential document that provides the context, rigor, and strategic insight needed to build a smart, effective college application list. Join Cathy and Meredith for another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as they break down everything you need to know about the school profile — what it is, how college admissions use it, and why understanding it matters. They also share tips on reading transcripts, which GPA to focus on, and why no amount of extracurriculars can distract from a funky transcript. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] A proviso for today’s episode. [0:01:20] Today's topic: The School Profile (what the heck is that?) [0:03:00] How the school profile is used by college admissions. [0:07:10] Understanding grades within schools and the lack of ranking. [0:08:30] Why it’s important to know ranking and distribution when making a college list. [0:10:00] The materials schools send to colleges on behalf of students. [0:10:48] A note on transcripts and which GPA to look at. [0:13:00] Why students want to have information, the data set, and a strategy for finding the right matches. [0:14:20] Final notes on the school profile, where to find it, and why you want to understand it before building a school list.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

You finally hit “submit” on your college application, so what do you do now? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith walk families through what happens after the big moment, from the confetti on your screen to the first response email from your selected college. They explain how admission portals work, what to do if materials look “missing,” and why it’s normal for systems to take time to update. They also debunk common myths about submission timing, server crashes, and small errors, reminding parents and students alike that perfection isn’t the goal. With empathy and humor, they encourage parents and students to stay calm, be patient, and let the process unfold. Tune in for practical, sanity-saving advice on what really happens after you hit submit! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:58] Today’s topic: what to do after you hit submit. [0:02:39] What to expect from Common App and college confirmation emails. [0:03:52] Setting up admission portals to track your application status. [0:04:49] Why missing materials, like transcripts or test scores, aren’t cause for panic. [0:07:18] How colleges batch-process and match materials behind the scenes. [0:08:30] Why parents should avoid contacting colleges directly. [0:09:47] Making sure students pace themselves after hitting their first deadline. [0:10:41] The truth about submission timing and last-minute applications. [0:14:25] Debunking fears about Common App crashes on deadline day. [0:16:09] Why fear tactics don’t help students do their best work. [0:18:39] Reasons to consider letting your college text you. [0:19:54] Why small typos and formatting errors won’t hurt your application. [0:20:16] When and how to contact a college about a real error, like a wrong major. [0:21:22] Stay calm, patient, and let the process unfold. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Common App Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How much do those quirky one-line college application questions really matter? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dive into the world of application videos to reveal what colleges are really looking for (and what not to stress about). Together, they share the inside story behind the creation of USC’s original Quick Takes section, why it spread to other schools, and how applicants should approach it today without overthinking. They also discuss the growing trend of 90-second admissions videos and provide advice on what to wear, how to prepare, and explain why being authentic wins every time. Tune in to learn how to nail your Quick Takes, ace your videos, and show colleges who you really are without the stress.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Introduction and the motivation behind today’s topic. [0:01:52] Learn what Quick Takes are and why students find them stressful. [0:03:37] What colleges still use Quick Takes and how the admissions landscape has shifted. [0:06:28] Cathy gives an example of a bad admission for a quick take. [0:07:02] Advice on how students should answer quick take questions. [0:09:46] How to use Quick Takes strategically to complement the admission process. [0:11:11] The rising popularity of short applicant videos and how they mirror Quick Takes. [0:12:48] Hear tips and recommendations for recording effective application videos. [0:13:44] Find out why over-editing, heavy scripting, or gimmicky videos do not work. [0:16:19] Learn the difference between authentic quirkiness and trying too hard.  [0:17:43] Cathy and Meredith’s final takeaways: have fun and remember to smile! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

After Cathy attended the 2025 National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) conference—where a session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student" drew such an overwhelming crowd that police had to intervene for safety reasons—it became clear just how urgent this topic has become. The so-called "standard strong student" is academically exceptional: straight As, rigorous coursework, impressive test scores, and meaningful extracurricular involvement. Yet, despite being "perfectly qualified," many of these students are still turned away from institutions with single-digit acceptance rates. In today’s episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack what these students often lack, why identifying institutional priorities is nearly impossible, and how families can regain a sense of control in the admissions process. Tune in to hear all this and more, including why authenticity and alignment are the real keys to success in selective college admissions. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:00] Meredith and Cathy welcome listeners to today’s episode. [0:02:20] Today’s topic of conversation: the plight of the standard strong student. [0:04:00] We define what a standard strong student is. [0:05:00] What they lack: institutional priorities. [0:05:30] The difference between admission and enrollment management. [0:09:00] Why institutional priorities are impossible to see. [0:09:45] How we can give control back to students and families. [0:13:45] They replicate school lists as an example of how to go about finding the right school. [0:17:30] The point: are students diving deep enough into researching colleges that align with their goals and values? [0:21:00] Widen the lens: not having the exact same college list and the exact same majors. [0:24:00] Encouraging critical self-reflection early. [0:25:40] Tips for taking back control for our standard strong students. [0:26:36] The “village” approach and the standard strong student. [0:28:04] Making space for authenticity to grow in our children. [0:29:30] An example of why we need to cultivate other interests. [0:34:40] Key takeaways from today’s episode. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: What Is An Admissions Hook? Things That Make Us Go Ew Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Chasing medals and certificates rarely tells the real story of a student’s growth. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith break down how to approach the activities and awards sections of college applications. They explain how some achievements, like character awards, stand out more than others, and why colleges care less about collecting trophies and more about demonstrating character, commitment, and impact. From deciding which awards to include to making sure each activity passes the “so what?” test, they share insider insights from years in admissions and coaching. Tune in for a clear, no-nonsense guide that can ease the stress of application season! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:44] Introducing today’s topic: Awards [0:03:08] Choosing which awards to highlight and where to list them. [0:05:00] Our thoughts on how to determine which awards are impressive. [0:05:56] Why kids shouldn’t try to win awards to be impressive. [0:07:21] The importance of showing meaningful impact. [0:08:36] Providing thoughtful answers during interviews. [0:11:10] Why we (and colleges) love a ‘coach’s award’ and character awards. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

It's the Conference of all Conferences in the world of admissions: the National Association of College Admission Counseling, or NACAC. As the primary governing body for all aspects of admission, NACAC sets the tone for the year. Today, Cathy and Meredith dive into Cathy’s latest experience at the NACAC Conference. They unpack the biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker, explore the emerging trends and patterns in admissions, and discuss how colleges are navigating and adapting to the use of AI. Plus, Cathy shares her infamous NACAC 2025 dress debacle and breaks down NACAC’s crazy session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student." For all this, and a candid discussion on the organization's professionalism, start listening now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] We introduce today’s topic of conversation. [0:02:00] Cathy sums up the conference in (roughly) four words. [0:04:00] The biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker. [0:10:40] What we’re hearing in terms of trends and patterns in admissions. [0:13:04] How colleges have adjusted applications as a result of AI. [0:15:00] We comment on the professionalism of the organization (NACAC). [0:19:30] The NACAC 2025 dress debacle. [0:21:30] The crazy session at NACAC 2025: the plight of the standard strong student. [0:23:00] A teaser for a future episode on a standard strong student. [0:26:10] Final thoughts on NACAC. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: NACAC Brené Brown Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Nagging is a common tactic used by parents to get their teens to do what they’re told. But how effective is it really? And could it be doing more harm than good? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on the very relatable topic of nagging! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why parents tend to nag their teens, how effective it is, the damage it could do, and more! We delve into some more positive behaviours you can engage in instead of nagging, before discussing the power of helping your kids take control of their own schedules and setting natural consequences instead of nagging. Finally, we discuss how to find a balance between nagging and having no expectations of your children. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:38] Today’s topic of discussion: nagging.  [0:03:38] Why parents nag and why it sometimes works. [0:07:27] Nagging as a form of controlling behavior. [0:09:15] How effective nagging actually is. [0:13:42] What to do as a parent instead of nagging. [0:22:13] Empowering your kids to take control and setting consequences. [0:23:40] The danger of overcorrecting to the other extreme of nagging. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We are thrilled about everything we have lined up—and are still lining up—for Season five! To kick things off, we're talking about parenting essentials for the new school year. After watching a MasterClass on parenting, we knew we had to start this season by sharing some key principles to get you ready for another year. Join us as we delve into some key points from the MasterClass, including the importance of parental mental health, why what we model has a more profound effect on our children than the words we use, why parents need to stop optimizing, and how to identify optimization. We also highlight the definition of what “high stakes” with your child actually include, the importance of your relationship with your children, and why it’s crucial you love the heck out of them! For all this, and more, be sure to tune in now.   Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] Welcome to episode one of season five! [0:01:30] Today’s topic of conversation: a master class in parenting. [0:03:50] Why the mental health and well-being of parents is not optional. [0:06:00] Go to therapy: it’s nothing new and has been happening for generations!  [0:08:00] You (the parent) are not solely your child; you have a separate identity. [0:09:30] We teach more with our behaviors than with our words. [0:12:30] Feeling joy and purpose without disappearing completely into your child’s life. [0:13:05] Stop optimizing: think of yourself as a shepherd and not an engineer. [0:14:45] How do you know if you’re optimizing as a parent? [0:17:15] Why the stakes aren’t nearly as high as you think they are. [0:17:50] Distinguish your kid from who they are as a human, from what they do. [0:18:45] We define what “high stakes” actually are (when it comes to your child). [0:22:33] The importance of your relationship with your child. [0:23:45] What we mean when we say a protective relationship. [0:26:45] Loving the hell out of your kids. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Personal Values Sort App Apple MasterClass Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We are back with season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Make sure you join us every week as we give you the low down on all the shit your teenagers won’t tell you, because trust us, there’s a lot of it! We are pumped and ready to line up some amazing things for you in this new season, and be sure to also let us know what you want to learn about. Whether that be parenting struggles or navigating difficult challenges with your teens, we don’t shy away from anything. Because, let’s face it, we’ve seen it all! Follow us and stay tuned for episode one!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:46] Welcome to season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! [0:01:30] Celebrating 50!  [0:03:00] Highlights of our summers. [0:05:25] What we’re excited about for season five. [0:06:20] The importance of reading. [0:07:30] Exciting things we will line up for season five. [0:08:30] Follow us, and tell your friends to follow us too, for season five! [0:09:00] Stay tuned for episode one! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Meredith Herrera Consulting Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

This episode marks the end of our fourth season, and we’re taking the opportunity to share some insights we’ve gained over this time, with a special focus on what we have seen over the school year. We discuss some of the trends that have continued and increased and new ones we’ve noticed in the kids we work with. We touch on the power of boredom and why the true practice of gentle parenting shouldn’t mean permissiveness. Our conversation also dives into themes we’ve noticed in the world of college admissions in the past year, including gender bias and funky waitlists. Lastly, we discuss some of our plans for the coming year, including celebrating Cathy’s 50th birthday cancer-free. Thanks for listening.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:48] Reflections on four years of hosting this podcast.  [0:02:40] How the past year has differed from previous years and what has stayed the same. [0:05:20] What has changed in middle and high school education. [0:07:09] A year-on-year trend around reading and speaking. [0:10:31] How boredom can facilitate finding what your kids are truly interested in. [0:11:38] Gentle parenting, consequences, and permissiveness. [0:15:55] Themes in the world of college admissions this year. [0:20:11] Funky waitlists and weird offers. [0:22:00] Our plans for the coming year.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Have you ever wondered what the exciting, challenging, and confusing teenage years look like from the perspective of someone who sees it first-hand? And have you considered how insightful that perspective can be for you as a parent? Today, we are joined by school counselor, Jake Fauver, to discuss the most common struggles teenagers face and how parents can help them navigate this transformative time. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the dangerous world of comparison for teens, how parents can become aware of internal struggles (even when it seems like their kid is fine), how to get boys to open up, and so much more! We delve into Jake’s role as a school counselor and hear about common issues he’s dealt with this week before discussing common myths about teenagers. Jake even shares some advice for parents about how to navigate difficult conversations with their teenagers. Finally, our guest discusses the importance of helping your teenagers see different perspectives. Thanks for listening in!   Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:19] Introducing today’s guest, school counselor, Jake Fauver.   [0:03:51] The danger of the world of comparison for teenagers.  [0:07:16] How parents can evaluate the mental health of their high-functioning teens. [0:10:31] Jake shares some tips for getting teenage boys to talk to people. [0:14:36] The kinds of challenges teenagers spoke to Jake about this week [0:19:13] Jake tells us exactly what he does as a school counselor.  [0:20:56] Some tips on how to navigate difficult conversations for parents of teens.  [0:24:52] Jake debunks some common myths about teenagers.  [0:33:12] When and how to challenge your teenagers’ perspectives.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Jake Fauver on LinkedIn Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The end of the school year can be a whirlwind, both for teens and their parents! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore how to help your teenager close out the academic year with reflection and a sense of purpose. They unpack why May is such an emotionally complex month, how to prioritize conversations about growth rather than grades, and why summer is an ideal time for deeper check-ins. From celebrating quiet wins to letting go of disappointments with compassion, this episode is packed with insights on how to shift the focus from performance to progress. You’ll also hear why these conversations aren’t about fixing problems but creating space for your teen to feel seen, heard, and supported. Tune in to learn how to wrap up the school year in a way that sets the stage for a stronger, more intentional start to the next one! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:52] What teens and parents might be feeling as the year wraps up. [0:03:05] Choosing the right time to check in with your kids (when they aren’t too busy). [0:04:49] Questions to help them reflect on the past year. [0:06:29] Why you should praise your kid for growth, not just achievement. [0:09:33] A story of growth and self-confidence that Cathy observed in one of her kids. [0:11:50] Meredith’s account of a moment of empathy that shifted one student’s perspective. [0:12:56] Helping teens process disappointment with acceptance and compassion. [0:16:04] Give kids space over summer for decompression and reflection. [0:16:56] Making time to set intentions for the new school year. [0:18:49] Final tips on how to create a space where kids can authentically talk about their feelings. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What do you do when your teen insists they can’t go to bed because they still have hours of homework left, and you know they desperately need sleep? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the nightly standoff between academic pressure and teen well-being. They dig into what’s really happening when teens claim they “don’t have time,” and explore the common culprits behind late-night work sessions, from overscheduling and distraction to anxiety and perfectionism. You’ll hear how to play the short game and the long game simultaneously as a parent, when to hold the line, and when to ask better questions. This episode also offers ways to bring teens into problem-solving, prioritize family values, and rethink what “success” should actually look like. Tune in for insights, empathy, and real-world strategies, plus a few rogue metaphors and laughs along the way! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:22] The sleep vs. homework dilemma teens and parents face. [0:07:09] How parents can help their kids balance sleep with school work. [0:14:09] Identifying the causes behind “I don’t have enough time” claims. [0:15:51] How mental health issues like perfectionism or ADHD can impact homework time. [0:16:59] The hidden time drain: distractions teens don’t realize are happening. [0:18:28] Why teens need real breaks after long days, not just go straight to homework. [0:21:12] Modern teen schedules compared to previous generations. [0:22:32] Why kids are overscheduled due to selective college pressures. [0:23:17] Using family values to guide academic and well-being decisions. [0:25:10] Helping teens build problem-solving skills instead of just enforcing rules. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The college journey puts parents and counselors in a delicate position: walking the fine line between dream supporter and dream crusher. Join Cathy and Meredith in their post-Spring Break episode as they dive into how you can both encourage and champion your kids while helping them maintain a healthy degree of balance while crafting their dream school list. They unpack the difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process is, how to balance goals and ambition with reality, the danger of dangling the carrot of a highly selective school in front of your children, and explore the reasons why trying (and applying to all the highly selective schools in the country) can be problematic! For all this, and as always, much more, be sure to tune in now! Thanks for listening! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:10] What we got up to for Spring Break 2025. [0:02:10] The topic of today’s episode: dream supporter vs dream crusher. [0:04:00] A common tightrope parents often have to walk. [0:05:30] Identifying schools with higher acceptance rates that still reflect the qualities and characteristics of your child’s top-choice, highly selective schools. [0:06:15] The difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process truly is. [0:07:45] Unpacking what a “Dream School” is: balancing goals and ambition with reality. [0:08:50] The danger of using highly selective colleges as a carrot for students to work hard. [0:09:30] Why the “reality” part of college admissions is hard for parents. [0:12:40] Parents displacing the dream-crushing conversation: when it’s okay and not. [0:17:00] Can you support the dream but also balance the fine line of reality? [0:18:40] Where, as a parent, are you willing to disappoint your child, and where are you not? [0:19:40] Encouraging your child to go after what they want with a healthy dose of balance. [0:21:00] What’s wrong with trying? (Applying to all the highly selective schools in the country.) [0:22:55] What supporting the dream does and does not mean (in our opinions). Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We recently read a Forbes article about why your kid needs to attend a competitive summer program, and we have some thoughts. Join us as we get the facts straight about the article in question and break down what you need to be aware of when it comes to these expensive summer programs that claim to give your child an edge when applying for elite colleges. Find out how many of these programs misrepresent themselves (like by suggesting they are more selective than they are), the handful of programs that are credible, and how to tell the difference. We also discuss how these articles are specifically targeted at parents and teens, why their contribution to the media ecosystem is so harmful, and how to recognize when you are being marketed to. Tune in to get the full scoop on what to be aware of when it comes to these summer programs and their bold claims! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:42] The Forbes article we are discussing and why we are annoyed by it. [0:02:30] Article points we agreed with and the benefits of a program like this. [0:02:56] Why a summer program won’t necessarily help you stand out at elite colleges. [0:03:53] A breakdown of how many of these programs misrepresent themselves. [0:05:43] Clarifying which summer school programs are as selective as they claim. [0:08:36] How parents can navigate misinformation, especially regarding these programs. [0:10:37] A reminder that you cannot control the outcomes of highly selective colleges. [0:11:57] Critiques on how dishonest and exploitative these types of articles can be. [0:14:37] What truly matters for your child’s long-term development. [0:16:50] How you can get in touch with questions and suggestions about today’s topic. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 'Why Your High Schooler Should Attend A Competitive Academic Summer Program—And Which Ones You Can Still Apply To' COSMOS Pre-College Program Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Sometimes, disciplinary issues are signs of deeper pain or turmoil in our children, making it important to step back and see things from a new perspective. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith dive into the various complexities of school disciplinary issues. They break down how different schools might handle these situations, share real examples of what you as a parent can expect, and offer practical advice on how parents can best support their kids through the process. From the importance of reading the school’s handbook to knowing what to do (and what not to do), they cover it all. They discuss the importance of proportional responses to disciplinary issues and share why it’s crucial children learn from their mistakes and walk out their consequences with appropriately supportive parents. It’s about guiding them through the process while encouraging them to own their mistakes, not covering them up or making the problem disappear. Don’t miss another insightful conversation with Cathy and Meredith, be sure to tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:20] We introduce today’s topic of discussion: disciplinary issues in school. [0:03:00] You get a phone call, your kid has been busted: what next? [0:03:20] We look at an example of academic dishonesty. [0:04:10] Parents! Read your school’s handbook! [0:04:50] What parents should and should not do. [0:06:38] The best thing parents can do to help their kids through a disciplinary proceeding. [0:07:45] What the disciplinary process (actually) looks like. [0:11:00] The different types of disciplinary issues. [0:17:20] Issues that are not as uncommon as you might think. [0:20:00] The appropriate consequence and how that point is reached. [0:22:24] Disciplinary issues and mental health. [0:23:00] Our advice on how you, as a parent, can support your child. [0:25:04] The importance of proportional responses to disciplinary issues. [0:30:40] Why kids need to learn from their mistakes and work through their consequences (with the support of their parents!) [0:33:00] Disciplinary issues as a signal to deeper pain. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Our world is increasingly obsessed with excellence and exceptionalism. As a result, more and more parents are fixating on how to make sure their kid is everything but mediocre. But is mediocrity really something parents should be panicking over? And could their efforts actually be doing more harm than good? Today, we deconstruct all the fears parents have around mediocrity and examine how hard you should be pushing your kids when, statistically, most of us are pretty average. We dig into the harms of pushing for exceptionalism, why too much pressure and overparenting will likely reduce your teen’s ability to be exceptional, and how to accept – and celebrate! – that your child might be average. Our conversation also unpacks the skills that will help your kids thrive in the long run, how to cultivate them, and why trying different things (that they might be bad at) is critical for their development. Tune in now for a refreshing perspective on parenting that might just change how you see success! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:21] Why being mediocre isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. [0:04:31] Which parenting circles tend to fixate on exceptionalism. [0:05:17] How obsessing over exceptionalism is harming kids. [0:07:20] The downsides of overparenting: what the research shows us. [0:09:15] Why we need to recognize that most teens are simply normal teenagers. [0:11:16] Cultivating skills and characteristics that lead to long-term success. [0:16:51] The difficulty of going against a culture of exceptionalism. [0:19:45] How to embrace, support, and accept your kids for who they are. [0:22:17] Why you should encourage your kid to find joy and try things they are bad at. [0:27:26] How to approach challenges as a positive model for your kids. [0:28:27] Meredith and Cathy set each other challenges to get out of their comfort zones. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Madeline Levine Books The Rest is History Podcast Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Many parents wonder if allowing their teens to explore multiple interests in high school might hurt their chances of getting into a top-tier college. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith tackle a listener question about whether their ninth grader should focus on one passion early or continue exploring a diverse range of interests. They break down the myth of the "perfect admissions hook," the harsh reality of ultra-competitive college acceptance rates, and how admissions officers actually evaluate students. They also discuss the risks of forcing specialization too soon, the importance of encouraging genuine intellectual curiosity, and why a well-rounded, thriving teen is more important than a hyper-focused résumé. To hear why pushing too hard can backfire and how to support your teen in a way that truly benefits their growth and future, tune in today! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:05] A parent’s big question: should my teen start specializing now? [0:02:54] Focusing on thriving, not just college admissions. [0:04:58] Facing the facts: statistically, elite schools reject almost everyone. [0:07:06] The sometimes boring truth about the “all-in” specialist kid. [0:08:24] What really makes a student stand out in applications. [0:10:48] The risks of forcing a teenager into a narrow path too soon. [0:12:34] Reasons that some kids rebel when parents push too hard. [0:15:16] Why college admission is not the only measure of success. [0:16:20] The illusion of control and the impact of putting too much pressure on teens. [0:18:59] Playing the long game by preparing your kid for life, not just a school! [0:21:04] Real talk about how even the best kids don’t always get into top colleges. [0:23:09] Rethinking what “success” really means and how to support your kid. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Delulu is the solulu! This viral social media phrase encourages people to stay optimistic and self-confident in the face of challenges and remain grounded even in wackiness. Today, we look closer at the delulu side of things and try to find solutions to the common teen misconception that fame and success are achievable with minimal effort. We discover how the pursuit of instant gratification has made teens more delusional than ever, how inexperience informs delusion, how adults contribute to and even fuel the fantasies of teens, and how nothing great is achievable without hard work and dedication. Then, our hosts share vital advice on how to coach teens toward realizing their goals before debunking the societal pathway to success. We end with the differences between a life’s passion and moments of periodic interest, and we learn how to cultivate commitment and resilience in our teens.   Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:40] Delulu is the solulu: Finding ways to be grounded in wackiness.   [0:05:10] Why teens are more deluded than ever, starting with instant gratification.  [0:06:48] The way life experience informs delusion and the allure of big tech.   [0:09:07] How parents, teachers, and other caregivers contribute to teenage delusions.  [0:11:16] The way teens underestimate the hard work necessary for success. [0:14:18] Best practices for teaching your kids how to achieve their goals. [0:15:48] Debunking the societal (educational pathway) fallacy of success.  [0:17:11] How to help teens distinguish between a life passion and a seasonal interest.  [0:18:46] Cultivating commitment and resilience. [0:21:44] Our final thoughts on the role of caregivers in eliminating teen delulu.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Welcome to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today, we’re breaking down the college narrative. What it is, why it matters, and how to help your teen craft one that stands out. We’ll dive into how a college narrative differs from their school achievements, why it’s crucial to back up their story with real experiences, and how to make sure colleges see them for who they truly are. Plus, we’re sharing plenty of tips to make the process less stressful (for both you and your teen). We unpack the importance of authentically representing themselves to an admissions committee before discussing how to assist kids who are coasting along with no real specific interests or sense of self. Finally, we remind listeners that college admissions aren’t looking for impressive stories but rather, are looking for meaningful experiences in college narratives. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:48] Today we are talking about building a college narrative. [0:02:35] How to define what a college narrative is. [0:05:27] The difference between what they do and who they are. [0:10:05] How you can provide evidence of your kids’ college narrative in their application.  [0:17:08] The importance of true authenticity and how that appeals to colleges. [0:18:20] Why parents aren’t objective about their own children. [0:20:12] How to build a narrative when the child doesn’t really know who they are.  [0:26:30] Why you shouldn’t try to be impressive in your narrative, but rather, authentic.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

AI is embedding itself in all aspects of our lives, and the college admissions process hasn’t been spared! The University of North Carolina (UNC) now uses AI to evaluate the grammar and writing style of essays, which are then used to judge admission to the university, and this move by UNC is a clear indication of why everyone involved in post-secondary education needs to understand AI in college admissions. We discuss UNC’s AI screening protocol, what it looks like from a student’s perspective, how AI compares to tutors, parents, and school guidance counselors, and how to use AI responsibly. Then, explore why AI writing lacks human finesse, what holistic admission looks like in the age of AI, how high school processes may be affected, and how AI could forever alter the college admissions landscape. We end with the enrolment management consequences of AI, how we use AI for this podcast, and what we think the future may hold for colleges that embrace AI.  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Why AI in college admissions is a topic everyone should be discussing right now. [0:02:00] How UNC uses AI to review college essays and screen applications.  [0:03:58] Understanding AI from a student’s perspective.  [0:05:56] Whether it’s better to use humans (parents, tutors, etc.) instead of AI for guidance. [0:07:37] How to use AI responsibly and why this matters.  [0:08:35] Why AI writing will always lack human touch.  [0:09:32] How AI could change the entire college applications landscape. [0:12:50] Unpacking holistic admission in the age of AI. [0:13:45] What AI in college admissions means for the high school sector.  [0:16:19] The enrolment management consequences of AI.  [0:18:30] How we use AI to help produce this podcast.  [0:20:05] Our final thoughts and what we think the future may hold.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill | AI Acceleration  Timothy Brunold on LinkedIn Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

As coaches, we often come across self-confidence issues among teens; whether it be deep insecurity or grandiosity. So, today we wanted to discuss self-esteem, when it’s healthy and unhealthy, and signs that your teenager may be struggling with their self-esteem. Tuning in, you’ll learn about the signs of low self-esteem to look out for, when arrogance is masking itself as self-confidence, how kids with high self-esteem present, and so much more! We delve into how parents can help their kids build a good sense of self before discussing the danger of comparison. We even talk about how you can help your teenagers build a growth mindset! Finally, hear about the importance of showing your children unconditional love, even when they mess up. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:08] The topic of today’s episode: self-esteem. [0:02:05] What healthy self-esteem looks like and signs of low self-esteem. [0:10:03] How parents can contribute to helping their child build strong self-esteem.  [0:16:32] The dangers of comparing your experience to your child’s.  [0:20:54] Helping your kids develop a growth mindset. [0:25:56] The importance of showing your kids love, even when disappointed in them. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Cathy and Meredith are back with another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, and this time, they’re tackling the wild world of college visits! From planning the trip to squeezing the most out of every campus tour and, most importantly, figuring out what actually matters once you’re there, they’ve got you covered. Tune in to find out why signing up for the official college tour is a must, which parent-approved tours should really be optional add-ons, and what students should do before stepping foot on campus. They’re sharing the ultimate do’s and don’ts of college visits, why it’s crucial to "pop the hood" on every school, and how to take notes that actually help when decision time rolls around. If you’re a parent gearing up for college tour season, this is one episode you don’t want to miss. Start listening now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:00] We introduce today’s topic of conversation: how to visit colleges. [0:02:10] Step one: make an appointment! [0:02:45] Our street cred when it comes to college visits. [0:04:00] Options for visiting colleges and how to sign up. [0:05:20] The type of tour parents think is a good idea, but really should be an add-on. [0:06:55] What to do once you arrive at the college for your tour. [0:08:40] We share helpful tips for kids to do before they go on college tours. [0:12:10] Looking past a bad tour guide: what to look for on your tour. [0:14:20] Why we don’t recommend multiple college tours a day. [0:16:00] Getting off script and peeking under the hood (of the school!) [0:16:30] The importance of making notes and documenting your time on tour. [0:18:40] A tip for parents: helping your kid to ask the right questions. [0:21:00] Writing “life” observations when on tour (and what is meant by that!) [0:22:50] Now that the tour is finished: what not to do, parents! [0:25:30] The importance of the exploratory phase of college tours. [0:27:45] Getting what you want without strongarming your kid. [0:29:00] What you don’t want as a result of a college tour. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Does it seem like your teens are just coasting through school, disengaged, bored, and overwhelmed? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith explore the challenges teens face in academics and how parents can help them thrive. From fostering engagement in boring classes to building effective study habits, you’ll learn actionable strategies for overcoming obstacles like disorganized time management, over-scheduling, and distractions. You’ll also find out why sleep, nutrition, and routine are vital for your teen’s academic success and discover the power of small goals, rewards, study groups, and time-management methods like the Pomodoro Technique. Want to empower the teen in your life to take control of their education? Don’t miss these tips and tricks to help them navigate school with confidence! Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:02] Top academic challenges and engagement issues. [0:04:02] Study groups, connecting with teachers, and other tips to tackle boring classes. [0:07:18] The need to adapt study habits to curriculum changes and seek teacher feedback. [0:09:50] Common studying pitfalls: cramming, ineffective homework practices, and more! [0:13:15] How distractions and poor study spaces impact focus and learning. [0:16:47] Role of timing, sleep, nutrition, and boundaries in academic performance. [0:22:55] Teaching teens to chunk time and balance academics with other priorities. [0:25:39] Keys to leveraging the Pomodoro Technique and positive reinforcement. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Learning How to Learn: How to Succeed in School Without Spending All Your Time Studying 'Learning How to Learn: Powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects' Pomodoro Technique Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Deferrals—what do they mean, and what should your teenager do next? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we dive into the world of college admissions deferrals, breaking down the process, and provide actionable advice for crafting a standout Letter of Continued Interest (LOCI). In our conversation, we explore what colleges are really looking for and why the LOCI might not matter as much as you think. Discover misconceptions about the admissions process, find out why institutional priorities often outweigh student talent, and hear about the common LOCI pitfalls to avoid. Join us to learn about the ins and outs of college admissions and the secret behind crafting a compelling LOCI. Tune in now!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:00:45] Introduction and outline of today's topic. [0:02:06] What deferral means and how a LOCI can (and can’t) impact an application. [0:04:37] Learn the dos and don'ts of writing a compelling and concise LOCI. [0:06:15] How a typical LOCI is structured, what to include, and the accepted writing style. [0:11:42] Why overloading admissions officers with new materials can hurt your chances. [0:12:54] Find out why colleges require a LOCI for deferred applications.  [0:14:42] Uncover why Cathy thinks deferrals and LOCIs are tied to business strategies. [0:17:23] Explore the reasons why a student may be removed from a waitlist. [0:19:35] Final takeaways and why the LOCI is nothing worth stressing about. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram