PODCAST · comedy
Smarty Pants Lance
by Lance Daniel
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial lawyer- hold your applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner of everyday, and not so everyday, topics. Topics include, but are not limited to- who else but an attorney would use such a phrase- cat people versus dog people, college days, being an actor extra in a movie, commercial or TV show, personal styles, cheapskates, slobs versus neatniks, dating apps, things people say but don't mean, weekends, flakes, medical doctors, a-holes, airlines. looks, getting locked out, membership warehouse stores You're invited to take a quick break, and enjoy a laugh, as Smarty Pants Lance weaves stories and descriptions containing a happy mixture of quirky experiences, nostalgi
Episodes
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Today's Music Sucks And So Did Disco Duck
Lance talks about today's pop and country music and why it sucks. He opines it's a filtering issue. There's just no filter on what flushes down the internet stream. There used to be record companies and radio and TV programmers standing guard. Though, all of them must have been asleep at the…
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Sex Sells, Clickbait Yells.
Lance teases about clickbait, air-headed celebrity endorsements, how sex sells- well, duh- and why he keeps getting click bait on Meta- which he still calls Face Book- about a photo of side boob of some model he's never heard of nor cares about. Are jingles superior sales tools compared to celeb...
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Lookin' For Work in All The Zoom Places.
Lance talks about employment interviews. He begins by telling us about work he did as a kid and for which he didn't apply. This work is known as, "chores." With marketing know-how, Lance suggests a new name for chores: "Blessings." "Hey, son, I've a few blessings for you to give the family. You…
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Better Mousetrap
Lance builds a better mousetrap thinking that'll lead to great success. It's what he heard during his growin' up years. Did building a better mousetrap help him get ahead in a government job? Hah, no. What about when he built a better one for private employers? PFFFHAHAHA, norious. Where did…
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Somethin' Somethin Turned Nothin' Nothin'
Lance describes how his plans for not just a little, but a lot, of "somthin' somethin" turned into nothin' nothin over a four day weekend. There was always some darned excuse: too tired from the week, too bloated and gassy after that outrageously expensive dinner, drank too much, again, and the,...
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Happy New Year 2023- You Didn't Vote for Trump Did You!?
Lance talks about New Years. He tells us NYE means different things depending on your age. One thing that wasn't different for decades was Dick Clark on the tele and watching "The Ball" drop." What if the ball suddenly dropped way too fast and smashed at the bottom into tiny crystal pieces? Now...
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Christmas v. Hanukkah
Lance discusses Christmas versus Hanukkah. At Sunday school he was told he must learn to think for himself. Except, when it came to religion, which is, as everyone knows, from "on high," and cannot be questioned. He tells us about the history of Hanukkah, the eight (8) day, "Festival of Lights,"...
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Strippers: Not Just a Stocking For Your Stuffer
And a 5,6,7,8-- Strippers: Not just a stocking for your stuffer. No doubt, countless guys, and some gals, have fantasized about being with, or living with a stripper. Lance shares his experiences, living with, and dating strippers. That's right plural! And the high school trophy for studliness…
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Thanksgiving: The Road Not Traveled
Lance says no thanks to the family Thanksgiving get together. The travel, the expense, the lousy customer service, the no so "world-famous" dishes, the annoyingly secretive and braggadocious relatives are all not worth it He ponders why he should put up with all the preceding just to spend time...
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Who Do DMV Employees Look Down On?
Smarty Pants Lance holds a stethoscope up to Medical Assistants ("MA"). Since they've no brains, he didn't expect a pulse. There are three kinds of medical assistants: dumb, dumber, and dumbest. Becoming , Lance gets the dumbest. Becoming a medical assistant is easy. It's perfect for those who…
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Smarty Pants Lance- Weekends
Smarty Pants Lance talks about the comings, goings, and doings of weekends. Is it true that everybody's working for the weekend, as the 80's band, Loverboy proclaimed. Are weekends made for Michelob? Didn't weekends come into existence, first? If so, Michelob was made for weekends; not the other...
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Flakes!
Smarty Pants Lance talks about flakey people. They're not just on the Westcoast, anymore! Why are people so darn flakey? It's not a new phenomenon. In the past, Lance has befallen victim by flakes since his high school days. These days he has a no flake policy. If meeting or getting together, the...
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Actions Speak Louder
Smarty Pants Lance delves into the old saw; "Actions speak louder than words." It's about those things people say, but don't really mean. Manipulations, game playing, misrepresentation to out-and-out-fraud, and niceties, too, such as , "Oh, my, what a cute baby! he/she/they/it are just soooo…
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Smarty Pants Lance- Lance Big Bangs His Way Into Podcasting.
At the insistence of so-called, friends, "Smarty Pants Lance," "Big Bangs" his way into podcasting with his first episode containing a short, humorous descriptions of a few of his life experiences, including: cheap and broken furniture and general messiness at radio stations, unusable toilets…
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Smarty Pants Lance- Cheap Bastards
Smarty Pants Lance talks about his experiences with penny-pinching, cheap bastards. Including: a tight-as-a-tick, cheapskate, landlady who was always trying to save a buck, including the time she baked rolls of toilet paper in the oven to dry them because they got wet due to a leak underneath the...
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Smarty Pants Lance Airlines- Airports- and the Just Plane" Outrageous
Smarty Pants Lance takes turbulent flights of comedy fancy when he talks about the airlines. From a true story involving outrageously stupid airport security who try to prevent an FAA flight inspector from boarding, to another true story featuring those stupid, stupid, stupid- not enough…
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Smarty Pants Lance-BMW For Sale- Do Not Open Sunroof!
Smarty Lance has a BMW for Sale. It has a broken sunroof which must never, ever, ever, ever, be opened. A succession of flakey and highly annoying perspective buyers come and go, then, The Law of Attraction, abracadabra's the right buyer, at the right time. Despite Lance's clear warning, she...
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Smarty Pants Lance- Oh, Doctor!
Lance goes on a semi-rant about doctors, chiropractors, dentists, and veterinarians. Yes, chiropractors, are doctors, but like veterinarians, they usually go by their first names- Hi, I'm Dr. Bob"- whereas, stuck-up, pretentious, pedantic, full of themselves, ego manic, MD's go by their surnames-...
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Smarty Pants Lance- Locked Out
Lance works a summer job at a radio station inside the dilapidated American Tin Can Factory on Cannery Row. The location included piles of old tin cans, a disgusting bathroom, and a very large daylight work room- which fell dark at night Becaus the owner of the station never trusted anyone with a...
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Smarty Pants Lance Dating Apps
Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences with dating apps. Smartphone apps lure you in with profiles of lonely supermodels with PhD's, who speak 10 languages, and lived in thirty nine countries, who don't care about another's looks or money because they just want to do acts of...
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Smarty Pants Lance College Days
Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences in college. Living with a dormmate obsessed with Diana Ross and brushing his long hair, to the Campus Crusade for Christ, to skipping class to play Dungeons and Dragons all day and all night, to college sports, gross bong water, to legendary...
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Smarty Pants Lance Dog People Versus Cat People
Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes differences between dog and cat owners. Pardon, "guardians." But not of the Galaxy, just pets. A doofus interrupts asking about lizard people. Lance via celebrity impression, defers to senior investigative reporter for Dateline NBC, Josh Mankiewicz for a...
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Smarty Pants Lance Extra, Extra!
Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences as a background artist/extra in the movies, on television, and in music videos. From long, uncompensated hours, to pay which is far less than a pimply-faced teen working fast-food to a-hole production assistants and assistant directors, to…
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Smarty Pants Lance Trailer
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, of politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance a long-time lawyer- hold the applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial lawyer- hold your applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner of everyday, and not so everyday, topics. Topics include, but are not limited to- who else but an attorney would use such a phrase- cat people versus dog people, college days, being an actor extra in a movie, commercial or TV show, personal styles, cheapskates, slobs versus neatniks, dating apps, things people say but don't mean, weekends, flakes, medical doctors, a-holes, airlines. looks, getting locked out, membership warehouse stores You're invited to take a quick break, and enjoy a laugh, as Smarty Pants Lance weaves stories and descriptions containing a happy mixture of quirky experiences, nostalgi
HOSTED BY
Lance Daniel
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Smarty Pants Lance have?
Smarty Pants Lance currently has 32 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Smarty Pants Lance about?
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial...
How often does Smarty Pants Lance release new episodes?
Smarty Pants Lance has 32 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Smarty Pants Lance?
You can listen to Smarty Pants Lance on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Smarty Pants Lance?
Smarty Pants Lance is created and hosted by Lance Daniel.
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