Episodes
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THE BOYS IN BLUE with Paul Litchfield
This week we’ll be seeing what happens when you put the long arm into Little Botham. Will the results be part of the Cannon, or will they end up a major Balls up? Yes, it’s The Boys in Blue And joining me to have a John put a lamp up on his flagpole is Paul Litchfield
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GHOSTWATCH with Simon Love
Today we’ll be going live in order to find out what on earth possessed the BBC to make a show about a celebrity trapped in a house with a deranged maniac a full decade before Celebrity Big Brother thought of it. Yes, it’s Ghost Watch And joining me to tap three times on the ceiling if he’s…
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CARRY ON SCREAMING with Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas
Today we’ll be finding out what happens when you go hanging about in the woods at the wrong time. The toilet gets blocked, the wife goes hard and you lose a finger. Yes, it’s Carry on Screaming. And joining me to go down to the cellar to clean the dust and wax off in the dark is Dan Thomas and…
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THE LOST BOYS with Kate McCabe
Today we’ll be heading to the Murder Capital of the world to find out just what happens when you CROSS the wrong youths. There’ll be flying, dying, Frogs and dogs as Santa Carla plays host to a group of guys that really suck. Yes it’s The Lost Boys. And joining me to grab a bite, that she assures...
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A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET with Steve Hall
Today we’ll be meeting the man of your dreams! Good news: He’s got a great sense of humour, has his own place, loves kids and adores fingering. Bad news: He’s bald, mean spirited, loves kids a bit too much, and has claws for a hand. Yes, it’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. Joining me to get ready for...
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FROM BEYOND with Dan Thomas and Dr. Dean Burnett
Today we’ll be gathering all of our facilities and coming to our senses as we seek the ultimate in pleasure, gloop and bafflement. Yes, it’s From Beyond. Joining me to sellotape a sausage to our foreheads is award-winning Welshman Dan Thomas, and Dr. Dean Burnett
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10 RILLINGTON PLACE with Karl Coppack
Today we’ll be going back into the past in order to visit a genuine house of horrors. Yes, it’s 10 Rillington Place. Joining me to sort the fact from the fiction is Karl Coppack.
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NIGHT OF THE DEMON with Toby Hadoke
Today we’ll be playing the deadliest game of pass the parcel ever, and wandering around in the woods in order to find out just what is coming from the trees. Yes, it’s Night of the Demon. Joining me to find out what Mr. Meek will inherit is Toby Hadoke.
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EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas
Today we’ll be finding out if too much exorcise is bad for you, and how you should never drink when you’re riding a locust. Yes, it’s Exorcist II: The Heretic. Joining me for a day out at the Pazuzu is Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.
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FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3D with Tom Crowley
Today we’ll be heading to Crystal Lake to find out just why you shouldn’t go into the woods when there are not one, but three dimensions of terror! Yes, it’s Friday the 13th Part 3D Joining me to find out why being a jerk is better than being a nothing is Tom Crowley.
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DRACULA AD 1972 with Ashley Blaker
Welcome to another Halloween Special! Today we’ll be finding out if vampires hold a grudge after one hundred years, or if the stakes are just too low. Yes, it’s Dracula AD 1972 And joining me to leave the party before the fuzz get there is Ashley Blaker.
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THE VAULT OF HORROR with Anna Savory
Today we’ll be talking about the ART of dreams. So fix yourself a NEAT drink as you get ROPED in to hear all about the GRAVEST nightmares that hopefully don’t SUCK. Yes, it’s The Vault of Horror Joining me to explain why she can’t do anything neatly is Anna Savory.
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RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE with Tom Neenan
Today we’ll be heading behind the walls of Racoon City to find out why in this world of adventures not everyone is so keen to ride the nemesis. Yes, it’s Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Joining me to throw a match at a gas leak that doesn’t work and just goes out, is Tom Neenan.
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FRIGHT NIGHT with Dan Tetsell
Today we’ll be grabbing our binoculars, blessing our water, spying on the neighbours and hoping they don’t get too cross as we aim to find out what big stiffs they are keeping down in the dark. Yes it’s Fright Night And as we’ll be talking about the biggest DILF vampire in cinema history, it’s…
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GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROAD STREET with Simon Love
This week we’ll be going behind the scenes in the music industry to take a warts-and-all look at the day in the life of a proper pop star. We’ll meet Tom, Harry, and everyone will sadly end up looking like a bit of a d*ck. Yes, it’s Give My Regards to Broad Street Joining me to try and earn a Big...
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ROBOCOP 2 with Paul Litchfield
This week we’ll be heading back to old Detroit to fight crime and corporate meddling. We’ll find out that the kids are not alright and just what really happens when the police go on strike. Will it put noses out of joint? And if so who will picket? Yes it’s Robocop 2 Joining me to get Kane’d on...
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THE LONE RANGER with Jack Bernhardt
This week we’ll be going full Tonto, saddling up and heading back to the Old West to find out what happens when you have a dead crow in a silver mine, and end up with serious reservations about your mate’s new outfit. Yes it’s The Lone Ranger. Joining me to pull a train on an old bird is Jack...
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DIE HARD 4 with Paul Gannon
This week we’ll be going in through the back door in order to keep you in the dark and set off your waterworks. Yes, it’s DIE HARD 4.0, or LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, depending on your area. Joining me to be THAT GUY is Paul Gannon.
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GREASE with Simon Love
This week we’ll be slicking back our hair, sewing ourselves into our trousers, and jumping behind the wheel of a massive car to head back to the happy days of 1958. A time when men and women could enter a school in their mid 30s and not worry about being confronted on Tik Tok by a nonce hunter....
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COMMANDO with Ashley Blaker and Steve Hall
This week we’ll be loading up on guns and bringing friends, in order to let off some steam and take part in the most extreme version of bring your daughter to work day. Yes, it’s Commando And joining me to eat Green Berets for breakfast is Ashley Blaker and Steve Hall
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POINT BREAK with Kate McCabe
This week we’ll hanging ten and catching tubes in order to put away a man so evil and malevolent that he will put lives at risk merely for the promise of an endless summer, no, not Mike Love, I mean Bodhi, leader of the Ex-Presidents. Yes, it’s Point Break Joining me to eat the ass end out of a...
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ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK with Jim Maxwell
This week we’ll be heading behind enemy lines to a future so dark and dystopian that a rich and powerful man doesn’t want to go on a pod. Yes, it’s Escape from New York. And joining me to Duke it out with a one-eyed Snake is Jim Maxwell.
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THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE with Toby Hadoke
This week we’ll be joining the world on the brink of total flaming disaster and telling everyone it was hotter in 1976. Yes, it’s The Day the Earth Caught Fire Joining me to get the warm willies on a ghost train is Toby Hadoke.
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LIMITLESS with Dr. Dean Burnett
This week we’ll be popping pills and collecting skills as we find out just what someone would do in order to have a haircut. Yes, it’s Limitless And joining me to use 24% of his brain is Dr. Dean Burnett.
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SMERSH HITS: SPIDER-MAN
This week we’ll be going back to 2002 and dialling up the web to go on the hunt for the best swinger, and find out just who has been leaving sticky white stuff everywhere. Yes, It’s Spider-Man Joining me to mess with one and all of New York, is Tom Burgess. (From April 2025)
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STAR TREK: INSURRECTION with Paul Litchfield
This week we’ll get Ba-Ku to where we once belonged in order to find out just who has been giving Geordi 20/20 vision, Worf long pubes, Picard a baby face, and Riker the absolute bloody raging horn. Yes, it’s Star Trek: Insurrection Joining me to pull faces is Paul Litchfield
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FAST FIVE with David Hoare
Welcome to another FAST SPECIAL. This week we’ll be heading down to the sunny beaches of Rio to spend time with the family and maybe get a bit of Rock. Yes, it’s Fast Five. Joining me to do some very safe driving is David Hoare.
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SMERSH ON SCREEN: THE ODYSSEY
As part of a recent Snake Boys get-together, Tom Neenan and I had some time to sit down and chat about our thoughts on the new Christopher Nolan movie. We do drop a few spoilers along the way, to do ensure you've seen, or are at least familiar with the very old story. Check out The Snake Boys…
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CARRY ON LOVING with Paul Litchfield and Dan Thomas
This week we’ll be getting all Grubby as we put our long one in a hole in the wall and see what kind of Bliss we get when it comes out afterwards. Yes, it’s Carry On Loving And joining me to get a Gripper before we Plummet to new depths of depravity is Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.
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ROCKY V with Paul Whitelaw
This time we’ll be looking behind our ear for the will to live, packing up our stinky old jacket and hat, and heading back to the old neighbourhood to be thoroughly miserable for 90 minutes. Yes, it’s Rocky V And joining me to GO FOR IT is Paul Whitelaw
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RESIDENT EVIL with Tom Neenan
This week we’ll be going back to the heady days of 2002. A more innocent time when you want a go on nemesis, nip out for a bite without getting cancelled, and Umbrella going viral was seen as a bad thing. Yes, it’s Resident Evil. And joining me to ask ‘Who let the dogs out?’, is Tom Neenan
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SMERSH HITS: SUPERGIRL (1984) with Johnny Candon
This week we’ll be heading to Argo City to have a drink or two with Peter o Toole, and to find out if Superman’s cousin can save the day while he’s out. Yes, it’s Supergirl Joining me to be bathed in soft focus and lighting, is Johnny Candon. *Recorded December 2022
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X: THE UNKNOWN with Toby Hadoke
This week we’ll be looking at an X that only lives to suck energy, spew hate and pump out bad waves, no not the popular edge lord website, it’s merely an old science fiction film! Yes, it’s X: The Unknown And joining me to do what Noel Edmonds could never do, kill the Blob, is Toby Hadoke.
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TREMORS with David Hoare and Tom Crowley
This week we’ll be looking for Perfection as we sit down and watch a film that really grabbed our attention, and made the ground move beneath our feet. Yes, it’s Tremors. Joining me to get our big worms out for the lads, is Tom Crowley and David Hoare.
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SMERSH ON SCREEN: DISCLOSURE DAY with DAN THOMAS
Dan Thomas and I are fans of Big Stevie Spielberg. We went to see this film. We weren't keen. We vent here. WE SPOIL IT. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SWITCH OFF!!
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BATMAN with Dan Thomas
This week we’ll be stepping into the dark shadows of Gotham City in order to find out just what puts such a smile on the face of the citizens. Is it all that free money? Or something more sinister... Yes, it’s BATMAN And joining me to be of a mind to make some mooky, is Dan Thomas.
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INNERSPACE with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas
This week we’ll be defying convention and going out of our way to look for the beauty hidden inside a person, while also proving they have guts, seeing the world through their eyes, and admiring their balls. Yes, it’s Innerspace. Joining me to spend an hour in Meg Ryan is Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan...
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THE SAINT with Steve Hall
This week we’ll packing our dressing up kit and make up box as we head to Mother Russia in order to stop a despot giving cold fusion the cold shoulder. Yes, it’s The Saint. Joining me to find out just how simple Simon really is, is Steve Hall.
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KING KONG (1976) with David K. Barnes
This week we’ll be heading to the island and going ape! In order to find out just what happens when capitalism gets in the way of innocent love between a giant and a tiny lady. Yes it’s King Kong Joining me to wake up at the crack of Dwan is David. K Barnes.
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ROADHOUSE with Kate McCabe
This week we’ll be putting on the finest MOR known to man, brushing up on our white-guy karate, and taking out the trash in order to prove that a small town of nice murderers is better than one mean one. Yes, it’s Roadhouse. Joining me to to be nice until it's time to not be nice is Kate McCabe
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JOHN CARTER with Jack Bernhardt
This week we’ll be seeing red as we head back to the past in order to go to space and find out if a Mars a day keeps the sequels away. Yes, it’s John Carter And joining me to give us some right arm action is Jack Bernhardt.
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NEIGHBORS with Paul Whitelaw
This week we’ll be curtain twitching like there’s no tomorrow as we check out who’s just moved in next door, and sort of knock about for aimlessly for ninety minutes without really much happening - with hilarious consequences. Yes, it’s Neighbors! Joining me to eat a baby's butt through a park...
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THE WICKER MAN with Martin Fitzgerald
This week we’ll be heading to glorious Summerisle; a secluded paradise of rolling fields, welcoming harbours, and a thriving swinging culture that’s known to be fairly committed to making the ultimate sacrifice for its guests. Yes, it’s The Wicker Man. Joining me to see how he likes them apples…
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SCARS OF DRACULA with Ashley Blaker
This week we’ll be returning to Ye Olde Europe to find out who would Minder if Dracula killed their brother. Yes, it’s Scars of Dracula. And joining me to go batty for lashes, is Ashley Blaker.
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ALIEN: RESURRECTION with Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas
The tagline reads: "It's been more than 200 years... The beginning has just started". Whatever that means, it's time for the Monday Night Movie Club to get together and head into deep space to try and get blood from a clone. Recorded Feb 23rd 2026.
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ASYLUM with Anna Savory
This week we’ll be getting seriously committed in order to solve a puzzle. Just what refreshes the parts you cannot reach? Who makes a suit that’s simply to die for? And who is playing with himself far too much? Yes, it’s Asylum. And joining me in the hope that she doesn’t lose her patients, is...
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CLUB CLASSICS: UNDER SIEGE 2: DARK TERRITORY with Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas
To celebrate the birthday of Steven Seagal, John takes Dan and Dean for a choo-choo ride and discovers a whole casey of trouble. A Monday Night Movie Club episode from Feb 20, 2023. Subscribe to the Patreon here and find hours and hours of exclusive content here: https://www.patreon.com/SmershPod
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I BOUGHT A VAMPIRE MOTORCYCLE with Simon Love
This week in a bit of Boon for the show, we’ll test-driving a new hog - but not just any hog, this ride is possessed by a bit of a speed demon. It eats protocol droids for breakfast, it doesn’t run on gas, and goes 0-60 on pure undiluted blood of former Grange Hill actors. Yes, it’s I Bought a...
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The Umbrella Man and Other Stories: What We Talk About When We Talk About the JFK Assassination with Martin Fitzgerald
In a very special episode I'm joined by Martin Fitzgerald to catch up on JFK again, and talk about his new book "The Umbrella Man and Other Stories: What We Talk About When We Talk About the JFK Assassination", an incredible and fascinating book that you should all buy. We talk about everything...
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LUCY with Dr. Dean Burnett
This week we’ll be indulging in the time old cliche of travelling the far east in order to find ourselves, connect with new exciting people, and take so much drugs we turn appear in other people’s televisions into a computer. Yes, it’s Lucy And joining me to to use 100% of his brain, is eminent...