PODCAST · arts
Somebody Wrote This
by Lexi and Kelly
Join Kelly and Lexi as they discuss books that get in your head and stay there forever, no matter how many holes you drink into your brain with vodka. These are not the best books or the worst - they're just the ones we need to talk about.
Episodes
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Episode 22: Lifetime's Dark Angel
Kelly and Lexi have not learned from their mistakes and are back to cover the second instalment of Lifetime's collab with the ghost of VC Andrews, Dark Angel. Heaven Casteel has a new name and yet another family to flee, but not before she makes out with her uncle. Some elements of the book were...
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Episode 21: Lifetime's Heaven
Due to relentless demand, Kelly and Lexi emerge from hibernation to tackle Lifetime's adaptation of the VC Andrews hillbilly opus, Heaven. With hugs that turn evil, anachronistic t-shirts, and generic cereals, does this extremely Canadian production live up to our lofty expectations for Fanny et...
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Episode 20: Ruby by VC Andrews
Only VC Andrews could make it happen: it's a holiday miracle, as Kelly and Lexi are back after all this time. Ruby might be set in the bayou instead of an attic, but it checks all the usual traumatic boxes, including hot parents, shopping sprees, dubious consent, death in childbirth, and, of...
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Episode 19: Witch - A New Beginning by L.S. Gagnon
Have you ever read a book about a witch and thought, I really wish this lady was helpless to the whims of her boyfriend, closest friend, and father? Well good news for you and bad news for us: Kelly and Lexi read L.S. Gagnon's "Witch: A New Beginning" and that's basically the gist. Gruesome...
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Episode 18 Part 2: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Ladies and germs, it's a big one: join Lexi and Kelly as they discuss the life-changing feminist fantasy masterpiece that is Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon. From the origins of Lexi's "Lancelot Problem" to the threeway that ended Kelly's childhood, this retelling of the Arthurian legend...
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Episode 18 Part 1: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Ladies and germs, it's a big one: join Lexi and Kelly as they discuss the life-changing feminist fantasy masterpiece that is Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon. From the origins of Lexi's "Lancelot Problem" to the threeway that ended Kelly's childhood, this retelling of the Arthurian legend...
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Episode 17: Plains of Passage by Jean M. Auel
The definition of insanity is Kelly and Lexi reading yet another Jean M. Auel book featuring everyone's least favourite cavemen, Jondalar and Ayla. And while the title of Plains of Passage, the fourth novel in the Earth's Children series, implies movement, change, and action, we get lists of...
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Episode 16: Fifty Shades Darker, the Movie
Kelly and Lexi briefly emerge from hibernation to experience Fifty Shades Darker, the movie adaptation of the unnecessary novel of the same name by EL James. All of our faves are back - except for the well-meaning director and writer of the first instalment - but there's still lots to talk about...
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Episode 15.5: Lifetime's My Sweet Audrina
We couldn't just walk away from VC Andrews' My Sweet Audrina without getting Lifetime's hot take on the whole mess, and so we present a very special, very sober edition of Somedy Wrote This. Starring lots of background noise (dogs, cats, airplanes), we take a look at this made-for-TV oeuvre and…
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Episode 15: My Sweet Audrina by VC Andrews
It's the one you've been waiting for. Lexi and Kelly read VC Andrews' My Sweet Audrina at your insistence. There are a lot of chips to lay down on our VC Andrews bingo card this time: hot parents, magic hair, a nympho tween, and terrible children's songs about rooms. But this one is so much more...
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Episode 14: Jemima J by Jane Green
Take Bridget Jones and Sex and the City, subtract the humanity and the light, and you're left with Jane Green's Jemima J, an indictment of the late 90s and all the rollerblading and suede that came with them. We're treated to some world-class fat shaming here, along with very early catfishing,...
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Episode 13: Bear by Marian Engel
A librarian acquires a new lover on a business trip to Northern Ontario, except that he's a bear, as in not a human at all. But is it a bear or a symbol of the reaffirmation of her sexuality and a victory over her alienation from her own body, its desires and the sublimation of her needs into an...
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Episode 12: Dark Angel by VC Andrews
We're back and so are Heaven, Fanny, Logan, mean old ladies, and incest. It's time to dust off our hilbilly accents and pick up where we left off with the second installment of the Casteel series, Dark Angel by VC Andrews. Heaven may have made it out of the Willies, but desperate poverty and…
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Episode 11: Belladonna by Karen Moline
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Episode 10.5: Fifty Shades of Grey, the Movie
We ventured into the frozen countryside and around the corner to bring you this inevitable special minisode about Sam Taylor-Wood's adaptation of EL James's Fifty Shades of Grey, a movie we thought we would hate, but maybe didn't? Is this episode almost as long as the movie (which was too long)?...
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Episode 10: Teleny by Oscar Wilde (?)
What do bottles, brothels and bladders of fat have in common? I wish I could say nothing. Tragically, however, the answer is Teleny, an upsetting attempt at Victorian erotica attributed to Oscar Wilde, although didn't the man suffer enough indignities to be spared this? Human delight Sarah joins...
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Episode 9: A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness
Ghosts, goblins and ghouls? That's nothing compared to crazy sweaters, wine metaphors and mixed-creature yoga. The scariest thing we've read so far is A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, all the more terrifying for being the first in a series. Never has an episode had more sing-talking or...
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Episode 8: Exit to Eden by Anne Rampling (aka Anne Rice)
The sun, the surf, palms trees nodding gently in the tropical breeze, laser discs and well-oiled sex slaves whimpering...Welcome to the all-inclusive resort you'll wish you'd never heard of, The Club, from Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (or Anne Rampling). Kelly and Lexi are joined by Fiona; this is…
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Episode 7: The King's Men by Christian Fall (Mark Gatiss)
Yes, it's that Mark Gatiss and no, he shouldn't have: Lexi and J discuss Christian Fall's The King's Men from Nottingham. Ostensibly set during the English Civil War, this work of skin-crawling pornography made us angry and despairing in turns, what with its toe-sucking and impromptu orgies, the...
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Episode 6.5: Starz's Outlander, the Series
While Lexi's gallivanting through the Highlands, Kelly does the next best thing and watches a sexy Scot ride through them on her television. The much anticipated Outlander series (based on the novels by Diana Gabaldon) premiered and all the right people saw it. Lori and Kelly discuss the lush…
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Episode 6: Heaven by VC Andrews
So much is wrong, once again, in yet another implausibly dysfunctional family. Kelly and Lexi struggle to figure out just how inappropriate the relationships are in the first instalment of VC Andrews' series on the Catseel family, Heaven. Sexy kids, cloakroom shenanigans, fradulent ceramicists,...
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Minisode 5.5: Lifetime's Petals on the Wind - No One Has Blue Eyes Where's Bart
We were supposed to be on a break, but Lifetime made us do it. Kelly and Lexi emerge from rehab to join those kooky Dollangagers for more incest, more donuts and less charisma in Lifetimes Petals on the Wind. Listen as we have difficulty remembering a movie we just watched. We just can't seem to...
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Episode 5: The Valley of Horses by Jean M. Auel
Kelly and Lexi wonder how these dumb cavemen managed to invent everything while doing nothing over 550 pages and 3 years. Neanderthal slurs, fur fruit rollups, domesticated lions, and portable crones - nothing can save this second installment of Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children (Clan of the Cave...
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Episode 4: Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Just in time for Valentine's Day, enjoy/despise this tale of leather rooms, serial killer supplies and the classic British novel, plus helicopters. It's the book everyone pretends they didn't read, E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey. Christian and Anastasia defy the rules of English and basic human...
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Minisode 3.5: Flowers in the Attic on Lifetime - The Sum of Its Barts
Kelly and Lexi watched Lifetime's actually a little bit good Flowers in the Attic movie and talked to Lexi's phone about it. Listen as Bart is lamented (again) and they struggle to remember the book's ending because of wine holes. Oh and the twins are still annoying.
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Episode 3: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
Join Kelly, Lexi, Rachel and Lori back in Scotland with double the booze and half the memories. Kelly even comes up with a theme song for Diana Gabaldon's Outlander. Some of us have read it too much, some of us haven't read it at all, but all of us talk over each other anyway.
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Episode 2: Shield of Three Lions by Pamela Kaufman
Kelly, Lexi and Lori commiserate about this baffling medieval romp that manages to slander the dead and fluster the living. Bagpipe outrage + wine = regret. Happy winter holidays and possible year change.
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Episode 1: Flowers in the Attic by VC Andrews
Kelly, Lexi and Rachel discuss the wonder of YA inappropriateness that is Flowers in the Attic by VC Andrews. Bonus if you like people that sound sick, people that say "like" a lot, people that talk over each other and Bart. Happy Halloween?
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Minisode 0: Hi?
We introduce ourselves and banter stiffly for about 3 minutes. Our first selection, V.C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic, is announced. The world trembles.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Join Kelly and Lexi as they discuss books that get in your head and stay there forever, no matter how many holes you drink into your brain with vodka. These are not the best books or the worst - they're just the ones we need to talk about.
HOSTED BY
Lexi and Kelly
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Somebody Wrote This have?
Somebody Wrote This currently has 29 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Somebody Wrote This about?
Join Kelly and Lexi as they discuss books that get in your head and stay there forever, no matter how many holes you drink into your brain with vodka. These are not the best books or the worst - they're just the ones we need to talk about.
How often does Somebody Wrote This release new episodes?
Somebody Wrote This has 29 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Somebody Wrote This?
You can listen to Somebody Wrote This on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Somebody Wrote This?
Somebody Wrote This is created and hosted by Lexi and Kelly.
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