Sorry In Advance

Welcome back to Sorry In Advance, where Danny, Nick, and Jon rank the absolute best and most embarrassing ways to permanently log off. This week features lawyers accidentally shooting themselves in court just to prove a point, the sheer badassery of Marine legend John Basilone, and Danny’s highly specific, LSD-induced Men In Black exit strategy. Toss in a fictional Carolina squat truck swan dive and a real-life Florida Man meeting his maker in a cat door, and you've got an episode to die for.

The Return to Space: We break down exactly what the Artemis missions are, why we are finally going back to the South Pole, and how it is setting the stage for Mars. Conspiracies & Cinema: We walk through the absolute wildest Apollo landing conspiracies and debate the best (and worst) space movies of all time. The Lunar Packing List: The guys discuss whether they would actually go to space if selected and run through a round-robin of the absolute dumbest things to pack for a zero-gravity vacation. Strap in, watch out for the "Lunar Condom", and get ready for launch.

Jon has officially hit the milestone, and his fiancée joins us to help navigate the wreckage. We’re breaking down the 40+ Power Ups (better filters, elite dad jokes, and top-tier sneakers) versus the 40+ Reality Check (mysterious sleep injuries and the "noise tax" every time you sit down). From Dashboard Confessional becoming "grocery store music" to the ultimate question: Is 40 actually the new 30? (Spoiler: Not according to Jon’s recovery time).

The crew gets "Upper Crust" this week as we attempt to stay classy while drinking a bottle of wine apiece—one glass every thirty minutes, no exceptions. Danny plays sommelier, teaching us how to sniff and swirl like the elite, while we roast your wine choice: from the "adult grape juice" Moscato crowd to the Shiraz lovers who live for group chat drama. On the menu: Rich Speak: Decoding terms like Coxswain, Complications, and Escrow. Service Stories: What really happens behind the scenes at high-end weddings and Marriott events. Loud vs. Old Money: Why Jeff Bezos rents out Venice while Warren Buffett lives in a $31k house. It’s a deep dive into the "King of Wines," the "King of Egos," and why the elite suck. Sorry in advance for the slurring by the final glass.

In this episode, Danny, Nick, and Jon take a painful (and hilarious) walk down memory lane to review the resolutions they set for last year. Spoiler alert: We failed. Spectacularly. From gym memberships that gathered dust to "hobbies" that lasted exactly four days, we’re breaking down exactly where it all went wrong. But because we never learn our lesson, we’re doubling down! We share our brand-new goals for this year and discuss why this time will definitely be different (it won't). In this episode, we cover: The Audit: Which resolutions did we actually start, and which were dead on arrival? The Excuses: Why life (and laziness) got in the way of our "peak performance." The Rebrand: Our specific goals for the new year and the bets we’re making on who fails first. Listener Call-outs: Why you should probably stop listening to us for life advice. Whether you’re crushing your goals or—like us—already eyeing the couch, grab a drink and join the chaos.

We're sorry for ruining Christmas. Original song

Original song about a group of Noggers making the greatest Egg Nog

We turned “raindrops on roses” into whiskey shots and questionable life choices. This episode covers it all: the music you bump solo vs. with friends, why “day drinking” counts as a team sport, and which billionaire we’d actually let crash the cookout. Nick confesses his crush on Livvy Dunne, Jon explains the fine art of a Darjeeling standpipe (don’t Google that at work), and Danny reveals the one instrument he’ll never touch—besides himself. Toss in our favorite drinks, mottos, and TV shows, and you’ve got an episode that’s half highlight reel, half HR violation.

We cracked open one of our most popular episodes and gave it the sequel treatment. This week, we’re adding brand-new laws to the sacred Bro-Bible—and swinging the gavel to abolish a few outdated ones. From sneaker etiquette to facial hair crimes, nothing is safe. Think of it as constitutional reform… but with more beers and fewer powdered wigs.

This week we tested each other’s brains with a game of Crazy Facts. The rules? Simple: guess if the fact is true or total nonsense. Guess wrong? Bottoms up. By the end, things got… fuzzy.

This week, the crew takes a wild ride through the world of confidence—real, fake, and full-blown delusion. Are you the cool, collected type or someone who thinks they could land a 747 because you watched a YouTube video once? Danny breaks down why 50% of men think they could be emergency pilots (spoiler: they absolutely could not), Jon wonders where confidence ends and douchebaggery begins, and Nick brings his own spicy take. Plus: overconfident gorilla fighters, Dunning-Kruger breakdowns, and the shocking percentage of men who think they could take a point off Serena Williams. (They’re wrong.) Buckle up—no seriously, buckle up—we're crash landing this episode with confidence.

Plastic surgery takes center stage—BBLs, nose jobs, fillers, and the rest. Unapologetic, unfiltered takes on the procedures everyone’s getting (and pretending they’re not).

We've all been mean before. Whether you meant to or not, admit it, you were an asshole. I this episode we talk about some of the times we were d-bags, and also list from A-Z, things that fit that category. 

The guys talk about how stupid New Years resolutions are, then we proceed to make our own.

The boys talk about some of their favorite ONE HIT WONDERS. No one is surprised about Jon's terrible taste in music!

We know, the Holiday's can be a depressing time. But if you think you have it bad, wait until you hear some real tragedies that happened around this time

The boys are starting their own PR firm.

Don't know about you, but we are starting to feel old. Kids these days... am I right? We discuss some things that make us feel old, things that we just don't understand about the youths, and even some current slang trivia.

Shout out to all the baby mommas out there! This one's for you!

So you call yourself a "SpOrTs FaN" huh? Everyone watches football. Baseball is Americas Pastime. You think that now because you watch soccer, you're better than everyone? Well what do you know about cheese racing? Hobbies Horse Show? What about Calcio Storico, basically imagine if the NFL, Rugby and the UCF from the 90's had a twisted ass baby! Take your helmet off and pick up the cheese wheel, LETS GO!

We discuss some of our favorite songs and also some of our worst. Naughty and nice lists and a gift exchange!

In today's episode we discuss the little things you do that could make you a trashy person. Maybe it's clipping your toe nails on an airplane, maybe it's the way you clean your ass. Either way everyone has a little trash inside of them. 

Times are hard, and we're ready to point the finger. We try and figure out who's responsible for the crazy inflation and how we plan to combat it. Plus a little game at the end where the loser takes a shot.

The guys are drafting a super team for different sporting categories. From uniforms to tailgating. Listen in and let us know who you think won!

Did you have a weird neighbor who thought their pet opossum was just the cutest? Maybe a crazy aunt who had a beady eyed rat as her plus one? This one's for you. 

Welcome to the wackiest episode of "Chaos & Coffee," where we dive headfirst into the wildest current events from June 2023! Buckle up and grab your life jackets as we explore the depths of the ocean with the Titanic submersible, dodge relentless Instagram product ads, and race through town in electric car chases! Join your hosts, Jolly Jules and Hysterical Harry, as they navigate the curious world of underwater exploration. Hear the tale of Captain Daring Dave and his daring dive into the depths to find the lost remote control. Did he really discover a hidden civilization of mermaids or just a stash of forgotten pizza crusts? Tune in to find out! Next up, we tackle the pervasive presence of Instagram product ads that seem to pop up every time you blink. Are they secretly spying on us or just trying to tempt us with a never-ending supply of self-stirring coffee mugs? We'll share our tips on how to outsmart those sneaky algorithms and avoid ending up with a closet full of banana slicers. Finally, hold on tight as we race through the streets in the latest trend of electric car chases. Who needs the Fast and Furious when you can witness Granny Gertrude zooming past on her suped-up mobility scooter? Find out how local authorities are trying to keep up with the increasing demand for electric getaway vehicles and what happens when you accidentally mix up your self-driving car with the ice cream truck. So grab your popcorn and prepare for a sidesplitting, rib-tickling adventure through the absurdities of June 2023. We promise you'll laugh until your coffee comes out of your nose (but please don't try that with your new self-stirring mug). It's a rollercoaster ride you won't want to miss on this hilarious episode of "Chaos & Coffee"! Note: This podcast episode description is meant to be funny and fictional. It does not represent real current events in June 2023.

We break down some unbelievable robberies and heists. Also discuss the greatest heist movies.

This episode, we talk about some of our past jobs, some funny stories and what our dream jobs would be.

Some of the wildest definitions from the famous Urban Dictionary

If you're broke as hell, this is the episode for you. 

Whether it's fair or not, it's hilarious to go back and look at news articles and things people said and judge them for what we know now. Here are some of the most shocking and a few that surprised us.  

One thing that isn't said enough is, Woman Really SUCK! Hear us talk about some of the worst of them!

Whether you hate or love Valentines Day, it ain't going nowhere. Here's our thoughts

Sports betting has replaced weather as the Go To small talk convo starter. It's new to Ohio and we talk about what we know and more importantly what we don't

Happy Festivus! Find out why Jon never believed in Santa.

Ever stood in the shower and had a random thought? Like, "Most people aren't scared of being alone in the dark — they're scared of not being alone in the dark."

A little controversial, we are diving into body image and everything surrounding it

If you read this please email [email protected]. If you are the first one to send the email you will win a prize.

Crypto is confusing, but if you've come here to looking for answers you don't know us very well!

We've all heard of the term Alpha Male. Where did this come from? Who are some well known AMs?

We talk about our own school experiences and what we think schools should be teaching

Just a bunch of random topics we each bring to the table

Grab a beer and see how many times you have to drink!

Ever wonder why you didn't get that auto loan, or maybe why your dumb ass didn't get into college? Keep telling yourself it wasn't the 14 you got on the ACT.

We all know that the story we were told in school about Thanksgiving was a load BS. But do you know what really happened? 

Are you superstitious or do you actually just have OCD? Well we're here to give you unsolicited medical advice! 

Wacky stories out of Hollywood

Questions from our listeners. We've gathered some of the best questions our listeners have sent us and answered them with maybe a little too much information. 

Nick and Jon run down some of the best duos in history

Pretty self explanatory, what really bugs the shit about you?