PODCAST · comedy
Starting 5
by Dillon Jeffrey
A former sports journalist challenges his friends to draft functional basketball teams from varied topics, then the teams go head to head. Logic occasionally defeats volume.
Episodes
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Season Two Awards Show
It's officially over, and the boys (Me, Peanut, and Cody) can't believe it so we're breaking out the 'member berries (ya'll remember that South Park plot?) and reminiscing on the season. We give out the big awards like MVP, All-Starting-5 Defense First Team, and Assists Leader, and we also…
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Big Toon Tourney - The Final!
It's here, as promised: The Final. A year of episodes leads us to the epic conclusion of Season 2. Haters will say it was premeditated, but we've got Cohost Cody facing off against Peanut, the Creator. Steven drops in to keep us focused on the important things, like Stan Van Gundy quotes. This ep...
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Big Toon Tourney All Star Game
You've waited and waded through nearly a full year of flap-jawing and general bungus from us for this moment. It's finally here. Join us next week for the Big Toon Tourney Final. But for now, just listen in to three cool cats discuss the Starting 5 All Star Game. I draft against Peanut as Cody...
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Big Toon Tourney Final 4 - 2 Seed vs 3 Seed
It's the Final Four (brr brr dee brrr!) and we've got Peanut's 2 Seed Moon Goddess Incubation Chamber taking on Isaac's 3 Seed Po Boys in an epic clash. Steven drops by as a first-time moderator and makes sure we all get along. In this ep: Piccolo discovers something about himself, Isaac's team...
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Big Tourney Final Four - 1 v 5
In today's episode we dive deeper than ever before into two teams who understand the stakes. Teabo's 1 Seed Five's Five return like Groundhog Day to do battle against Cody's 5 Seed Seattle Divinity in a rematch of the Cartoon Network Final. Dillon is joined by Chase (Chestuh McBadBad) to decide…
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All Star Weekend
Alright ya'll it's All Star Weekend in the Starting 5-verse. Me, Cohost Cody, and Darius (Peanut (The Creator)) have a pleasant, uneventful, cordial series of conversations about which players deserve to make the team. We start off hot with a major communication issue and it's all downhill from...
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Big Toon Tourney Elite Eight - 1 v 8
In the last matchup of the Elite 8 we pit Teabo's 1 seed Five's 5 against Steven's 8 seed Steven's Seltzer 6 in what was just a flat out good time. In this ep: we slander the marching band; we reveal (or remember) Jenny the Teenage Robot's height; Blossom gets her flowers; King Boomie babbles…
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Big Toon Tourney Elite Eight - 3 v 6
Buckle up buttercup, cause this one's long. Coming at you live from Indianapolis mere moments after the College Football Playoff, we pit Isaac's 3 seed Po Boys against Kenny's 6 seed Gold City Mayors. We ramble, we jest, we talk some serious hoops, and we find flaws in our format. In this ep…
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Big Toon Tourney Elite Eight - 10 Seed v 2 Seed
In today's second round matchup we pit Darius (Peanut(ctrl alt p))'s 2 seed MGIC against Sammy Six Names' 10 seed Self Destruct in a game wherein we remember that Buzz Lightyear can fly. This ep has: a lovely new comps system, foosball, the possibility of a Green Lantern special beam cannon…
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Big Toon Tourney Elite Eight - 4 Seed v 5 Seed
In today's episode we break into the second round of the Big Toon Tournament. Justin's number 4 seed Bad Boyz host Cody's number 5 seed Seattle Divinity in a game that canonically takes place at the Palace at Auburn Hills directly after the Malice. Justin has packed the crowd and co-moderator...
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First Round Recap
In this quick little ep, Dillon talks about the First Round of the Big Toon Tournament. He salutes our fallen heroes and praises those who advanced before looking ahead to the marquee matchups of the Second Round. A must-listen for all those slackers who haven't paid attention to the games so far...
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PBS Kids Charity Filler Ep
Hey kids! It's the holiday season, which means only one thing: no one is available to pod. So this week, the OG3 (myself, Peanut, and Cody) present to you the PBS Kids Charity Filler Episode. It's a draft laden with team-driven, pleasant, extremely coachable players, and we warp that immediately....
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Big Tourney 7 Seed v 10 Seed
In this, the final episode of the first round of the Big Toon Tournament, we see childhood friends become the bitterest of rivals, while Cohost Cody and I attempt to calm the storm. While they both hang out in my living room, Roommate Andrew pits his 7 Seed The Mutant Metaphor vs Sammy Six Names'...
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Big Tourney 6 Seed v 11 Seed
In this installment of the Big Tournament, White Kenny seeks redemption with his 6 Seed Gold City Mayors while Dillon tries to teach his 12 Seed Kid's WB Shaft Drafters (The Michigan Meta) to play basketball. Swinging by to keep us in check are Cohost Cody and Roommate Andrew. We get pretty damn...
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Big Tourney - 5 Seed v 11 Seed
In today's Big Tournament matchup, Cody's 5 Seed Seattle Divinity take on Dillon's 12 Seed Cleveland Cowabunga. The God of Basketball starts his redemption tour against Gerald Johanssen. Dillon's ragtag team of Nickelodeon castouts puts up a stiff fight against Cody's well-drilled unit. Joining…
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Big Tourney - 8 Seed v 9 Seed
In today's first round Big Tournament game we've got the 8 Seed (Steven's Seltzer 6) vs the 9 Seed ((Jacob's) Daddy Issues) in a matchup that is knock-down drag-out hilarious. Starting with a locker room environment that is genuinely dangerous and ending with two villains abandoning the sport to...
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Big Tournament Seeding Show Extravaganza
You've asked for a behind the scenes, unfiltered, legitimately unplanned look into the War Room of Starting 5, and we're delivering. Take a peek behind the curtain as Peanut, Cody, and I rank the 12 teams that qualified for the Big Tournament. It's messy, it's frantic, it's pretty damn funny....
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Kid's WB Final - Unlucky Madness
It's finally here: the showdown to end all showdowns, the epic conclusion to the tournament. Two more influential members of this podcast you could not find (and I include myself in that list). Cohost Cody faces off against Peanut, the Creator. Will Cody's heel-turn to villainy work in his favor?...
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Kid's WB 3rd Place: Bat-Venom
The bronze medal match sees Roommate Andrew face off against White Steven in a battle that dares to ask how bad of a foul it is to dribble your opponent. This episode features: highly different basketball philosophies, friendly X-men, our first commercial, a loon, and the greatest what if of all...
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Fat Duck
In the second semifinal in the Kid's WB bracket, Cohost Cody takes on Roommate Andrew in a lovely battle of wits, references, and psychological barbs. Can Cody's greatest team ever assembled hold a candle to Andrew's croquet offense? Featured in this ep: Cody's dramatic heel turn, a Hebrew Card,...
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Bud Light Seltzers: They're Not Good - They're Great
The first match of the second round of the Kid's WB bracket sees Peanut the Creator face off against Steven (Big Bud Light Seltzer Fan) Jernigan. From the grip to the rip this episode is part intricate interplay of tactics and part plea for sponsorship. In this matchup it's established that…
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Kid's WB Shaft Draft
It's time for the toughest Shaft Draft yet - Kid's WB. To help us handle the stress, the boys welcome Cohost Cody into the mix. We gas up Teen Titans, get too deep into Dragon Ball Z, reminisce way more about Yu-Gi-Oh memories than currently shafted players, disregard Pokemon (see season 1),...
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Don't Call It A Comeback
In the final matchup of the first round of Kid's WB, Peanut the Creator gets his revenge match against Justin Kidd. Confidence is high, and so is the skill level as neither team came to mess around. This ep includes: yet another shoutout to Kelly Oubre, the dubious return of Krypto, a spineless...
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Let's Talk About Batman
In this episode battle lines are drawn between dear friends as Steven Jernigan faces off against Kenny Stempien. In a matchup that sports an impressive 4:1 ratio of jokes to actual basketball talk, the crew gets into some real shenanigans. Included in this ep: Kenny turns Saul-to-Paul style into...
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Blueberry Pie
In the second ep of the Kid's WB bracket, we get a matchup as old as time. Maybe older. Your gracious host vs Cohost Cody, moderated by future HoFer Chase. We hardly even touch on basketball as we spend much of our time trying to convince listeners to watch Batman Beyond. This ep features: the...
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Kid's WB #1 - It's Only A Phase, Mom
The first issue of the Kid's WB bracket features a dazzling (and much longer than I thought) matchup between Roommate Andrew and newcomer Tyler Jones. After a stolen first pick, this ep devolves into spite picks, fighting words, and some fun nerdy nonsense. This ep features: One of Steven...
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Disney Final: Disaster at Disney
For the gold medal game of the Disney Bracket, we've got Justin's Bad Boys vs Sam's Self Destruction. With dominant interior defense, raw athleticism, and a high reliance on the wiles of Agent P, Justin comes up against the wildcard, play the hot hand, survivalist offense of Sam's surprising MVP:...
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Force Choke Me, Daddy - Disney Third Place Game
We've got a battle of childhood friends for Bronze in the Disney bracket between Peanut (the Creator) and Kenny (Dr.) Jay. After about 15 minutes of chat, we go further than any episode yet. We're talking Celina Powell, the block assist, Nick Fury's blindside, a 1-1-2-1 zone, wet jumpers and…
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Web Management
This second round Disney matchup between Sam and Kenny lives up to the hype. Pretty damn violent, no reason to mince words. If you have any young children, especially one's who prefer Spider-Man's wrists intact, tell them to grow up and listen to this ep. In this game we discover: Tigger is...
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Unashamed: Let's Bash KD
We crash into the second round of the Disney bracket with a veritable clash of eras: Justin's beat-em-up, low post dominators vs. Peanut's pace and space, guard-heavy shooters. This matchup features the question of intangibility, an unmissable age gap, Steph Curry levels of off-ball screening, a...
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Shaft Draft - Disney Bracket
Peanut, the Creator drops by for another edition of the Shaft Draft. We talk nostalgia and spend almost no time on the goldmine of Star Wars and Marvel. We talk about all of Stitch's brethren, the unpicked members of the Recess Gang, the true star of Phineas and Ferb, an awful lot of ducks, and…
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The Force that is Marvel
Kenny Jay steps into the octagon to square off against Dillon in the final matchup of the first round of Disney. With Chase as the much-needed voice of reason, the boyz wade through the dangerous waters of DIsney XD's Marvel properties. Featured in this ep: size, a triangle, a couple of...
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Full Frontal Nihilism
In the third matchup of the Disney round, Steven returns to defend his deep Disney run against newcomer Sam, who's broadcasting live from the BnE in my own living room. This episode features a couple of powerful deep cuts, pure chaos, a grumpy uncle, enunciation, and a direct hero/villain…
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Disney + Dillon's Nip
In the second matchup of the Disney Bracket, newcomer Justin squares off against Commander Cody in yet another all-WCU Alum game. This episode features raw strength, Story Time with Cody, America's favorite secret agent, the power of a thousands winds, the 03-04 Pistons, and a couple of real...
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Duck Ballz
We kick off the Disney bracket with Peanut, the creator, looking for his first win and the return of a Talkin' Sauce ambassador whose last name is Teabo. Josh takes home the gutsiest pick award, and then manages to top that pick later in the draft. Covered in this episode we've got a couple of...
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Nickelodeon Final - Never A Doubt
The Nickelodeon Final is upon us. Steven and Isaac climb into the octagon in an episode packed with equal parts legitimate basketball tactics and wild hearsay. Covered in this lovely finale: King Boomie is caught smoking in the locker room for not the first time, Po eats some noodles, Jenny the…
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He Got His Neil Young
It's Third Place time again, kids. The Nickelodeon Bracket is coming to a close, and the two teams who didn't make the final (Jacob and Cody) are slugging it out in a game that features not one, but two players who actively do not participate. This bronze medal match also features a conversation...
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Canonically
Canonically, In the second game of the Nickelodeon bracket second round, Steven faces off against Cohost Cody. We discover, canonically, that there is a word we are no longer allowed to say, and it shockingly has nothing to do with the canonically gray area of Nega Chin's name. Please…
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Daddy Issues
In the first game of Nickelodeon's second round, Isaac faces off against Jacob in a fight of primo matchups such as Master Splinter vs Donatello, Princess Azula vs Fire Lord Ozai, and the Body of Evil vs Jorgen Von Strangle. This ep features: inventive defensive tactics involving a whale, a lot…
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Shaft Draft - Nickelodeon Bracket
Peanut "the creator" drops by to chat about all the characters who got left out, and the boys form an official Nickelodeon Shaft Draft Starting 5. This episode features: finally some recognition for Gerald, a deep dive into the Fairly Odd Parents, some Rocket Power love, redemption for the last...
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S.P.A.L.D.I.N.G. 1.0
Cohost Cody picks against a robot and that's really all there is to say. Featured in this episode: a shocking number of badass housewives, an accurate NBA comp for once, so many catchphrases, and an unnamed character.
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Zaza Pachulia
In the third matchup in the Nickelodeon bracket, Dillon squares off against first-timer Steven. The old English classroom piggybacking chemistry is rekindled and the power of subverting Zoom's 40-minute limit goes to Dillon's head a little. By his own admission, this is the hardest decision Chase...
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Cheerleading Whales?
Sitting just a few feet apart on separate Zoom calls, Jacob and James duke it out in the second Nickelodeon showdown. In the midst of troubling technological difficulties and some PTSD flashbacks of their smoldering last apartment, Jacob still manages to SHOUT OUT TALKIN' SAUCE. This episode...
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4 v 5
The Nickelodeon bracket kicks off with the man himself (CTRL ALT P) vs ill-prepared Isaac, who goes a long way towards changing his moniker. This episode brings out the premiere heavy hitters of the Nick universe and ends with a rant of epic proportions by the loser. Featuring the meanest…
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CN Final - Believe in Yourself
We've come a long way, and the day is finally here: Teabo's "Five's Five" vs Cody's "Seattle Divinity" in the Cartoon Network finale. Cue the fanfare, cause this episode holds up. There's a behind-the-scenes look into the shockingly dark locker room antics of Teabo's team, a magnificent call to...
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Beta Energy
Championship dreams have ended, only the diehards remain in the stands, players are scuffing their heels. That's right, it's the third place game. With a faux-bronze medal on the line, Dillon and Kenny slug it out in a war of attrition while Chase swings by to keep the energy levels reasonable....
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Numbah 5 > LeBron James
In the second game of the second round of the Cartoon Network bracket, we pit Kenny against Teabo in a mouth-watering matchup. Featuring positionless basketball, a dictionary definition of the word "dribble," a gun with no serial number, some high speculation on Numbah 5's vert, and the mental...
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Zone Divinity
In the first matchup of the second round, it's a war between Commander Cody and Dilly on the Street. With a birth in the Cartoon Network Final on the line, we bring in Jalen for some moderation. Get ready for extendo-dunks, Brandon Ingram comps, a costly mental breakdown, the 2011 Cartoon Network...
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Shaft Draft - Cartoon Network Bracket
In today's very special episode, Dillon brings in the creative driving force of this season (Darius, Peanut, CTRL-ALT-P, Big Daddy Roast) to review the picks that have been made in the first round and highlight the characters that got shafted. So if you've been listening along and screaming at…
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Gorilla Cat
In the final episode of First Round of the Cartoon Network Bracket, we get another blockbuster matchup. Creator of not only the musical accompaniment of this podcast, but also the idea for the entire second season, we have Darius (Peanut (ctrl alt p (Big Daddy Roast))). Standing opposite we have...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
A former sports journalist challenges his friends to draft functional basketball teams from varied topics, then the teams go head to head. Logic occasionally defeats volume.
HOSTED BY
Dillon Jeffrey
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Starting 5 have?
Starting 5 currently has 84 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Starting 5 about?
A former sports journalist challenges his friends to draft functional basketball teams from varied topics, then the teams go head to head. Logic occasionally defeats volume.
How often does Starting 5 release new episodes?
Starting 5 has 84 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Starting 5?
You can listen to Starting 5 on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Starting 5?
Starting 5 is created and hosted by Dillon Jeffrey.
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