Stewards Of The Light

What I have learned about the Light. Bearing witness to the sacred works of God’s healing. The most powerful spiritual class of my life. The greatest gift the experience of cancer blessed me with. Thank you.

Meeting with the surgeon. The impact of the news. “Cancer Sucks”. The side effects that I hope never go away. I have been shown my future. The vital importance of viewing life with Spiritual Eyes.

Messages from the other side. What happens when we sleep. Working off karma in the dream state. Setting the intention. Surrendering the outcome. Prepared to go through it all again.

Everything is Energy. The importance of being at the cause of things instead of at the affect. Engaging the Life Force and learning from it. Giving away the light to one who needed it. Seeing it’s immediate impact. Engaging energy to help heal.

Getting back to the basics. I am remembering what healthy feels like. Another gift of perspective that changed everything. Purpose strengthens me.

I may never be the same!

I am shedding a spiritual skin. I’m still learning how to be sick. Looking to get a day off.

If God is love and God’s love is everywhere, then where is the love in that? The insight that answered that question for me forever. The blessings are many because the lessons are many. The dangers of the victim mentality.

The HU is a Love song to God. I’m sick again. There must be more for me to learn. How the HU is helping me heal. It’s the most powerful love song to God. The difference between pain and suffering.

Thankful for those who choose healing as a career. The next level of Truth is revealed for me. The relationship between trust and surrender and why I accept “Thy will” over “My will”. God never limits me. I limit me. Cookies and puppy breath. A powerful mantra.

Struggling with memories. An emotional return. PTSD? People living with dignity and grace. An intimate conversation with myself.

Radiation continues radiating long after the treatments end. Learning hard lessons. The power of declaring health. Paying tribute to the body. Experiencing the future. Making direct contact with Spirit. How I recognize It. I am feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.

A specific strategy that works. Fear is just another form of cancer. Pray big and bold because God is Love. Don’t listen to the Liar Dude. Face the light.

The double amputee. Conversations at the Hope Lodge. I have to protect myself from negative energy and weak people. I’m losing my hearing but gaining perspective. The disease is devouring one of my new friends. How to deal with worse case scenarios.

Staying in the fight. I can’t give it an inch. Managing pain and the mind. Creating a positive spiral. Navigating the opiates. The amazing healing powers of aloe. The healing energy is accelerating.

Getting into the Hope Lodge living facility. An interesting mix-up. The Hope Lodge is a place of healing. I think I need a feeding tube. Getting into the grind of things. Another lesson in surrender.

4 weeks in and 3 to go. Physical changes are happening. Fatigue is setting in, my neck has radiation burns and the worst “strep” throat ever. Trying to manage pain and symptoms. Getting deep lessons on self worth, self love and self acceptance. "I AM."

The relationship between trust and surrender. There is no partial surrender. We have helpers on the “other side.” Answered prayers everywhere. Surrender and let the magic happen…because it will. Everything is going my way

Meeting and engaging others with cancer. They are all heroes and inspirations. The importance of my bother to my healing. I wouldn’t exchange having the pain of the disease for the benefit of the lessons.

But the pain is starting. I have nothing to complain about. Support from the AA community. My mind is slipping. A new treatment to prevent mouth sores. The symptoms increase. Pain management the details matter.

Well meaning well wishers. Wah Z is another name for the Mahanta. The power of asking for help and the miracle. The power of changing perspectives and the benefits of this condition. Everything gets amped up.

Still room for humor and gratitude. Nothing will be the same after chemo. The treatment schedule. It’s getting very real now. Being present to my blessings and caring for my caregivers.

How the process unfolds. Every mask has a story. A message to my “mask compadres.” This stuff changes you but I decide how. The ultimate side effect

Dana Farbar is amazing beyond words.

My first “down” day. Doubt sets in and takes it’s toll. Feeling alone and dis-empowered. The third clear message is received. The bamboo story. The power of surrender, trust and being at the cause. Fighting back.

Deciding on the treatments. The tumor is still growing. Learning to surrender deeper and to listen better. I think I have to move. I am grateful and “I am all in.”

From anger to understanding. The second clear message is received. Telling the family. Never stop seeing the human in the human. I am in God’s class trying to understand the lesson being given.

Nothing is the same. Dealing with my mortality. Feeling claustrophobic. Making amends to my body; the apology. The first clear message is received.

I am Stage 3. I am not a victim...EVER. I don’t know how to do this; but God does. I am blessed to have a say in the outcome. I am really grateful. Plus, I have a great dog…

“I have one job and that is to heal.” Suiting up for battle. Being committed to being at the cause. Everything has to be loved and embraced; even the cancer.

Beginning the decision making process: Traditional or Holistic or both?Telling the family. The intimately personal nature of an uncertain journey. The spiritual tests begin. Life is a school. What class am I in?

A glossary of spiritual terms you will hear.

Learn about Jeffrey Deckman, his family and life.

The Backstory - How this came to be.