PODCAST · tv
Straight People Movies
by Dylan Garsee & Kirk Van Sickle
A podcast where two gays watch a movie for straight people and ask, "why?"
Episodes
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I Heart Huckabees
It's our 100th episode, we're doing literally whatever we want, who cares!
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Garden State
This song will change your life *proceeds to play "Play by Play" by Autre Ne Veut*
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John Wick
Recorded live from the assassin hotel whose name Dylan didn't bother looking up before writing this joke.
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Armageddon
You will NEVER catch us closing our eyes OR falling asleep.
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The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Sorry for the delay, we had to drop something off at Mount Doom and that took longer than expected.
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Million Dollar Baby
Just gonna move this stool out of the way real quick gimme a second.
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Skinamarink
This happened to us.
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Prisoners
Recorded live from a pit under a car.
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Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Come with us if you want to slay.
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Knives Out
*Jojo Leave voice* Get out (Knives!), right now.
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Enchanted
This movie is straight just watch it and try to convince us it's gay.
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Saving Private Ryan
Saving Private Ryan? Oh honey we'd rather Save Ryan's Privates.
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UHF
This week's episode is a parody of Straight People Movies
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The Shining
All work and no play make Kirk and Dylan very gay boys.
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The Mist
It's so cool that Marcia Gay Harden won an Oscar for The Mist don't look it up.
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It
This week we decided to talk about a movie with a title so generic because we refuse to grow our audience.
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Misery
Alexa play my favorite P!nk song featuring Steven Tyler.
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Don't Worry Darling
Don't worry darling?? Don't ever tell me what to do, I'm going to worry extra hard now.
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Clerks
Wait, so if Kirk and Dylan have been in the front this whole time, who did I just...in the bathroom????
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Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
This week we're talking Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and not Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, the movie Dylan kept saying in their head every they tried to remember which movie we were watching this week.
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Vertigo
¡Uno...dos...tres...catorce!
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Heat
This week the Gays watched every straight person on Twitter's favorite movie, Heat! Finally the spell has been broken and we are finally heterosexual.
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Big
Kirk and Dylan went to a Zoltar and wished they were big, and the next day they woke up as Las Culturistas.
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Se7en
In honor of this week's episode, we're rebranding as Str8 People Movies.
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Jerry Maguire w/ Mase Kerwick
Show me the homosexuals! With guest Mase Kerwick
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Cool Hand Luke
This week instead of an episode, we recorded an ASMR podcast of us each eating 50 hard-boiled eggs.
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The Notebook
Note: We recorded this episode in the pouring rain after taking a canoe ride to admire some ducks.
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Joker
Unfortunately we have been Joker-pilled.
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Team America: World Police
America! Fuck no! This week we watched the naughty puppet movie by the South Park dudes, and you'll never guess what we thought of it.
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Wet Hot American Summer
Dylan and Kirk are back from Barcelona, so we had to talk about the wettest, hottest, and most American movie in the world!
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The Straight People Movies Draft w/Chris Martinez & Jason Pollard
This week we're doing something a little different and drafting ourselves! Taking a queue from sports (!), we're drafting the perfect episode of SPM from the past episodes we've done. It's a rowdy time and yes, there is a lot of yelling and no, it's not about the movie you're thinking of.
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Jurassic Park
Laura Dern? Laura Dern. Laura Dern...Laura Dern. Laura; Dern.
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Top Gun: Maverick w/ Kyle Romero
This week the gays are joined by one of our favorite returning guests Kyle Romero as we ride into the Danger Zone aka the lighthouse in Annihilation.
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Men
We just won an Austin Chronicle Critics prize, so naturally we decided to do an episode on a divisive movie that no one has seen, Men!! Alex Garland's long awaited follow-up to Annihilation, Men is, well let's just say unforgettable.
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Always look on the bright side of life *whistle* (Yes I know that's a different movie, the music in this one isn't as good as Life of Brian)
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Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
We did it. Marvel Mamma is over We are never talking about another Marvel movies as long as we live.
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Spider-man: No Way Home
Marvel Mamma, a series we decided to do under our own volition, is taking a toll. We are nearing the end of our sanity. Soon we'll be talking about the red dress. Save us from this.
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Avengers: Endgame
Siri play Endgame by Taylor Swift from her incredibly underrated masterpiece Reputation. This week The Gays watched Avengers: Endgame as part of our MARVEL MAMMA series. And if you can't tell, we were maybe a little bored.
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Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Week 2 of MARVEL MAMMA!!! This week we're talking about the Boy Scout himself Captain America and his frenemy with a metal arm, The Winter Soldier! A 70's paranoid thriller-homage, this movie divided the hosts so much, one might say it's Straight People Movies: Civil War.
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The Avengers
In honor of the upcoming Doctor Strange and The Multiverse of Madness, we're launching our latest mini-series: MARVEL MAWMA! We've lost our everloving mind and are doing FIVE Marvel Movies in the upcoming weeks (as well as The Northman, this is our podcast not yours). We're kicking it off with…
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Mandy w/Brian Bonnet
Crying in the bathroom wearing nothing buy tighty-whities and taking slugs from a bottle of booze, what is this a Tuesday night???? This week we're joined by Nicolas Cage scholar and host of the upcoming podcast But It Matters to Me, Brian Bonnet!! In honor of the upcoming film The Unbearable...
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Swiss Army Man
This week we're tootin' and fartin' our way to a possible restraining order, that's right we're talking Swiss Army Man. The Daniels' newest film Everything Everywhere All At Once is out this week so we're talking their first film and all of the heterosexuality that goes along with it.
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Men in Black
Here comes Straight People Movies/You're favorite podcasters/Here comes Straight People Movies/This ep we're talking bout the Cremaster (More specifically, the Cremaster Cycle, a series of 5 video installations by acclaimed artist and breaker of Bjork's heart Matthew Barney) Anyway we're talking...
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The Dark Knight
In honor of The Batman, we're tackling one of our most requested movies, The Dark Knight! Christopher Nolan's magnum opus (Intersetllar people, sshhh) is a point of friction between the gays, but we settle on one thing: The Joke is 100% one of us if you catch our drift. We're rewriting the…
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Nightmare Alley
This week we're talking Nightmare Alley, 2021's most baffling Film Twitter fave. Returning guest Kyle Romero helps us break down why straight people are obsessed with Guillermo Del Toro's latest.
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The Mitchells vs the Machines
This week, the Gays watched The Mitchells vs The Machines, Netflix's animated sci-fi family picture! It's got everything you could ever want: possessed Furbys, Olivia Colman as an evil phone, and a dad that one of the hosts would do unspeakable things to.
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Ocean's 11
Steven Soderbergh can do no wrong, so in honor of his latest film KIMI, we're talking Ocean's 11. Dudes do a lot of things in this movie: rob a casino, blow up vans, hold a man's hand so tight and discuss moisturizing techniques. But most importantly, the dudes rock.
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The Day After Tomorrow
More like The Gay After Tomorrow (Dylan is available for any and all stand up gigs). In honor of Don't Look Up AND Moonfall, the movie where the moon falls, we watched Roland Emmerich's 2004 climate change disaster classic(??). Dennis Quaid is hot, Jake Gyllenhaal is hot, the fake president is…
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Jackass: The Movie
Hi, we're Kirk and Dylan, and welcome to Straight People Movies. This week in honor of Jackass Forever, we're discussing movie that started it all, 2002's Jackass: The Movie. This movie made one of us throw up from the debauchery, tune in to find out who!
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O Brother, Where Art Thou?
We just got back from the river to pray and we're back with a brand new episode! In honor of The Tragedy of Macbeth, we go back in time to 1930's Mississippi in O Brother, Where Art Thou?! The Coen's southern fried musical-ish adaptation of Homer's The Odyssey is every southern grandpa's favorite...
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Straight People Movies have?
Straight People Movies currently has 92 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Straight People Movies about?
A podcast where two gays watch a movie for straight people and ask, "why?"
How often does Straight People Movies release new episodes?
Straight People Movies has 92 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Straight People Movies?
You can listen to Straight People Movies on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Straight People Movies?
Straight People Movies is created and hosted by Dylan Garsee & Kirk Van Sickle.
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