Episodes
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S4E10: Twenty Years Together
This month marked twenty years since I met my spouse and almost five years since she came out as transgender. Knowing what I know now, would I do it all again? Yes. In this episode, I share my reasons for staying. Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide...
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S4E9: Navigating a Shift in Opinion
When word spreads that your spouse has come out as a transgender person, usually on an as-needed basis, the people you thought you knew suddenly have a shift in behavior and opinions form. In this episode, I talk about how opinions change after a longer period of time and the disappointing text...
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S4E8: Rebuilding Bridges
My father-in-law visited for the first time in four years, after a difficult start with my spouse's transition. In this episode, I talk with my spouse about how she decided it was time to invite her parents for a visit and whether it went as expected. Ultimately, relationships can be complicated...
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S4E7: 13-Year-Old with a Transgender Parent
Our son just finished his first school year in a new country. This episode is a quick check-in of how it was, if he feels the perception of having a transgender parent is different here, and if he has any advice for other kids with a transitioning parent. Due to current events in the US: Rainbow...
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S4E6: Performative Allyship
We've all seen it and some of us have done it: the people or companies who show allyship during Pride month and then pack it all up at the end of June and store it away until next year, like it's a holiday. In this episode, let's explore what performative allyship is, why it is harmful, and how…
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S4E5: My LGBTQ+ Family is a Nuclear Family
I call baloney on anyone who suggests that only a man and woman can lay the foundation for a so-called nuclear family. As someone whose marriage began in the heterosexual sense and morphed into a mixed orientation marriage, we remain more traditional than most. In this episode, my spouse and I…
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S4E4: The Root of Anti-Transgender Laws
A brief dive into how anti-transgender hate bills and laws are set in motion. It is a well-coordinated, 50-year-running long con to dismantle democracy. Mentioned or related to this episode: PBS LearningMedia: How Laws are Made in Congress Rock the Vote: State Legislatures, An Explainer American...
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S4E3: The Attempt to Erase Transgender People
New laws are trying to erase transgender people and Law SB 244 that recently passed in the U.S. state of Kansas is a prime example. Transgender people are here to stay and in this episode, I touch on how wasteful and cruel this law is for the transgender community, a sliver of the population who...
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S4E2: Coming out as an Adult
In this episode, my spouse shares whether she has regrets not coming out sooner and touches on the topic of what might have been missed since she came out as an adult. Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens...
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S4E1: Annual Disclosure Day Reflection
The new season begins with a reflection on the fourth year post-disclosure and how things looked then versus now. Mentioned in or related to this episode: PFLAG and International PFLAG: Support, Education, and Advocacy for LGBTQ+ People and their Loved Ones Due to current events in the US…
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S3E18: Season Finale with Encore Interview
The season ends with a message of hope and an encore interview with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help you...
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S3E17: The Decision to Tell or Not to Tell
It is an ongoing calculation to decide when to tell someone new that your spouse is transgender. Everyone in your circle may know, but one still has to decide if it is necessary, if you think your spouse will be okay with it if they're not there, and whether it is even up to your spouse when you...
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S3E16: Middle Schooler's Take on Moving Abroad
I asked my 12-year-old to share his perspective on moving abroad and squeezed out just enough to create a short episode. It is a reminder that kids are resilient and can handle big things as long as there is a support network to lean on — in this case, he has his parents plus family and friends...
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S3E15: Spouse's Take on Moving Abroad
In this episode, my spouse shares her feelings about moving abroad. "We are not chess pieces," she says, regarding the current anti-transgender climate in the US. That says it all. Mentioned or related to this episode: USA Today: Safest States for Gay and Trans People Rainbow Railroad TransLash:...
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S3E14: The View from Abroad
You know how we sometimes dissect our night out on the way home from an event — you think about things you said, what others said, what you would do differently. That's what it feels like I've been doing after living abroad for two months — looking back and wondering if things are as bad as I...
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S3E13: The Move and the Motive
In the U.S., the current administration has fueled a hate-filled climate toward transgender people that is false, dangerous, and manipulative. It is a loss for the U.S. when smart, kind, caring people who have the burden of carrying the stigma that the transgender label brings — leave the U.S. In...
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S3E12: Moving Hiatus and Self-Care
The big news in this episode is that I am taking a little hiatus until mid-September due to a big move with my spouse and our son. I'll miss you until then! I leave you with a few self-care tips that I hope are fresh enough to help carry each of us forward as we wade through these uncertain…
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S3E11: Hitting that Reset Button
It is easy to get distracted and drift off in one direction a little more than anticipated; sometimes we need to pause and hit the reset button when that happens. Recently, I have been laying it on thick as an ally to my spouse while forgetting about my own needs — not too difficult to do in…
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S3E10: Interview Removal and Reasons
A heartfelt thank you to the listeners, even my spouse, who brought it to my attention that the individual I previously interviewed and had in this slot was not presenting themselves in a truthful manner. I consider the podcast a community where resources, ideas, and honest opinions can be…
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S3E9: Interview - Renée Yoxon, Gender-Affirming Voice Teacher
In this episode, meet Renée Yoxon, a gender-affirming voice teacher who has created a suite of online voice courses to help you or the transgender or nonbinary person in your life to feminize, masculinize, or find something in between to shape that preferred this-is-me sound when speaking. Renée...
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S3E8: After Vocal Feminization Surgery
Two weeks post vocal feminization surgery, we hear what my spouse sounds like as she slowly recovers. She was on vocal rest for the past weeks and we talk about how she communicated, her reasons for opting for vocal surgery, and what she hopes the outcome will be in the months ahead. My favorite...
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S3E7: Surgeries Past, Present, Future
On the eve of her vocal feminization surgery, I talk to my spouse about surgeries she has had at this stage of her transition, the surgery decision process, and how she is feeling going into this one. Mentioned or related to this episode: GLAAD: Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31 FOLX…
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S3E6: Interview 2 of 2: Parent Reaction to Spouse Coming Out as Transgender
In this episode, I talk to my mom in her eighties about her reaction when I told her that my spouse had come out as transgender. My favorite quote from our talk: "You're not the one who has the right to judge." Mentioned or related to this episode: American Field Service (AFS) Book my parents…
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S3E5: Interview 1 of 2: Parent Reaction to Spouse Coming Out as Transgender
Telling your parents that your spouse has come out as transgender can be quite stressful; no two family dynamics are the same. In this episode, I talk to my midwestern, cisgender, former United States Navy officer, highly educated dad in his eighties about his reaction when I told him that my...
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S3E4: How Much Longer?
The news headlines about attempts to erase the transgender community can do a number on us. Partner up, it's going to be an unpredictable, bumpy ride. Rest when you need to, stay hydrated, and keep being you. Allies, time to step up. Trans Lifeline: Resources for Dealing with Post-Election Grief...
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S3E3: Let's Talk Critical Thinking
Misinformation and fake news are abundant, and knowing what's real and what's not can even take the savviest person by surprise. Transgender people are the current target and as the saying goes, repeat a lie enough times and people start to believe it. Let's change that. In this episode, I share...
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S3E2: Condensed Perspective of Three Years Post-Disclosure
It has been three years since my spouse came out to me as transgender. This episode reflects on how the first two years look from here, plus how things are going and where they are headed. Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People...
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S3E1: First Family Visit Post-Transition
It's a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in México to celebrate her dad's 80th birthday this past November. It has been…
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S2E22: Interview - Life Coach Helping Straight Partners Navigate Transition
The season ends with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help anyone, anywhere in the world. In this episode…
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S2E21: Middle School Slurs
One month into middle school for my son and a student has already used an anti-LGBTQ+ slur against another student in a locker room. The kicker is that we live in what is considered a very progressive area. In this episode, my son and I have a talk about this incident, how a teacher handled it…
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S2E20: Mental Strength Through a Partner's Transition
The Summer Olympics just ended and I'm always impressed by the overall mental strength component that athletes have to excel at their sports. It takes mental strength to succeed in sports, at work, as parents, and in a situation like many of us where your spouse or partner has come out as...
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S2E19: Meeting New Coworkers as a Transgender Person
New job, new people can be exciting for most of us and unchartered, anxiety-inducing territory for transgender people who just want to fit in with everyone else. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her first work retreat where she met new coworkers at an otherwise remote-based company....
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S2E18: Responding to Transphobic People... Actual People, Not Online
There are times when someone famous shows us their transphobic side or a transgender person makes poor decisions that come to light and they paint a negative image for the transgender community. Both examples actually had their moment in various news outlets this week and for those of us with a...
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S2E17: Why I Dislike the Term "Trans Widow"
The term "trans widow" is one that I thought I related to at first... until I didn't. It is actually quite transphobic and in this episode, I share why it doesn't sit well with me. Mentioned and Related Links: National suicide prevention lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) LGBT National Help...
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S2E16: Job Searching as a Transgender Person
For the first time since my spouse began her transition two and a half years ago, she is looking for a new job opportunity. She is a Latina transgender woman who is fortunate to be educated with a strong support system. Keep in mind that the transgender workforce reports low employment rates…
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S2E15: Labeling Struggles
It's Father's Day in the U.S. today and the first Father's Day post-disclosure was rough. Now, two and a half years in, it's not a big deal but I still struggle with how to label my spouse when she's not around. Is labeling my transgender spouse a "spouse" enough or is it necessary to add more or...
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S2E14: Allyship Beyond Pride Month
June is Pride Month, a time to raise awareness about the LGBTQ+ community, its history and remembering the Stonewall Uprising, current issues facing the community… and it's a time to celebrate diversity and acceptance, hope, progress, joy. I love that allyship is strong this month. Let's explore...
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S2E13: Voice Ch-Ch-Changes
A main giveaway that someone might be transgender is their voice. Speaking as a transgender person can be daunting and in this episode, I talk to my spouse about her road to sounding more feminine with the help of vocal therapy. Related Resources: American Speech-Language-Hearing Association...
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S2E12: Part 2 - The Transgender Bathroom Thing
I ask my spouse a few questions about her experience as a transgender woman using public restrooms. Related Resources: Article - The 19th: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary People Resource - Refuge Restrooms: a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for...
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S2E11: Part 1 - The Transgender Bathroom Thing
The idea that a transgender person should not be permitted to use a public restroom that aligns with their gender identity is misunderstood and places the safety of a transgender person in jeopardy. This episode touches the surface from my viewpoint as someone who lives with a transgender person....
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S2E10: Listener Appreciation
In this episode, I take a moment to share an overview of…you! Several of you have taken time to write to me and it means so much. You, listeners, are a diverse, interesting, wonderful group of people and I appreciate you. More transgender families: YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel:...
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S2E9: Why Are You Still Angry?
Anger is one of the first and lingering emotions that occur when a spouse discloses that they are transgender; lingering as in years. How does one let go of that anger and move forward? In this episode, I offer a few ideas of where to start and it requires being willing to accept that it is time…
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S2E8: A Positive Step Forward for a Parent of a Transgender Adult
After a death in my spouse's family, she has her first interaction with her dad in a very long time. Can someone who is unsupportive about their child's transition come around and realize that transgender people are just people? Possibly. For my spouse, her dad has taken a positive step forward....
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S2E7: Addressing Spouse as Male or Female in the Past
My transgender spouse mentioned that she wants to be addressed as female at all times, including our past. For me, it doesn't feel honest because I have only been married to a transgender woman for two years vs. 13 years with a male. In this episode, we chat about the issue from both perspectives...
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S2E6: A Child's Perspective on Facial Feminization Surgery
I ask our 10-year-old son how he is feeling since his male-to-female parent, my spouse, had facial feminization surgery (FFS) a few months ago in December. Judging by his responses, I needlessly worried about how he would do. Resources for Kids & Families: COLAGE Book - She's My Dad Book - He's…
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S2E5: FFS Part 2 - After Facial Feminization Surgery
In this episode, I share my real feelings about FFS before and after, and my spouse discusses how things look and feel two months post-surgery. Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health Transgender Legal Defense &…
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S2E4: FFS Part 1 - Before Facial Feminization Surgery
Early in December, my spouse had facial feminization surgery (FFS). The day before her surgery, we recorded a brief discussion to share with you about why she felt she was ready for it, if she was worried about how our 10-year-old son might react, and any other concerns she might have. As someone...
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S2E3: Two Year Disclosure Anniversary - How Things Look Now
Two years ago on New Year's Eve, my husband came out to me as a transgender woman. That was a dark day. But change is constant and this is the first year since disclosure that I'm looking forward to celebrating the day again. In this episode, I share what has changed in two years to reach this...
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S2E2: Holidays Part 2 - Dealing with Everyone Else
The rougher part of the holidays after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: dealing with friends and family at gatherings or coworkers and acquaintances at events. Whether you attend alone or together, 'tis the season to set boundaries and prepare ahead of time so you're not caught…
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S2E1: Holidays Part 1 - Self Check
Let's start the new season of the podast with a portion of the holidays that you can control after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: checking in with yourself. Take a deep breath, listen to yourself, and find something positive. Other stories with spouses or family members of a...
About this show
Follow the real journey of a straight wife as her husband of 13+ years comes out as transgender and they adjust to the changes.
Hosted by
Liese
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