Talking Tripe & Twaddle

Get your sea legs on as Christopher, Oriel and Paul get down and dirty with the pirates of the seven seas. Asking the question "what did those pirates really carry in those barrels?" Yo Ho me hearties, Yo Ho!

Join The Penny Morthouse Podcast as Chris, Paul and Oriel bring you the final instalment of Aleister's busy life. What could possibly lie in store for everybody's favourite Dark Magician, will he finally get Alan a pouch of duty free baccy or will his lust for a new religion end in death and disaster. 

Alisters back and he's feeling magical. Dipping his toe into the world of invisibility and vampires. Lads off his head!

The gang has reunited and come back with a bang, getting down and dirty with the Golden Dawn. Some say Aleister Crowley was the most wicked man in the world, others say he was a really bad magician. One thing we can confirm...He was proper good at filthy poems. 

Are you a witch yes or no, well I'm going to shave your entire body bald and search you for teats. Welcome to the world of the "The Witch Finder General". This week let The Penny Morehouse Podcast take you back to a time when witch hunting was more than a vocation it was a gold mine. Not that that was the main motivation for Matthew Hopkins and his mob, surely the thrill of a freshly shaven old hag was all the job satisfaction required.

Let us take you on an interstellar journey, across the galaxies and through a black hole to Todmorden and Rendlesham. These universally famous towns where a hot bed of U.F.O activity back in 1980 and quite frankly the UK's Roswell. Tune in as The Penny Morthouse delves into the unheard truths of these incidents and brings you the hard facts that Aliens do in fact walk amongst us and it's definitely not the number 9 bus. Trust in Alan.

Get bent Ant & Dec, these lads brought us the original Saturday Night Takeaway. A bottle of whisky and an empty Herring Barrel could make you a pretty penny in days gone bye. This week The Penny Morthouse take a trip to Bonnie Scotland and the realm of body snatching. All isn't as it seems down in Surgeons Square as Dr. Foxy Knoxy chops of Jamie's hoof, but at least it's clear who the real criminals are.

 A top hat and natty moustache can get you pretty far in Victorian England bit thankfully not even this confused Canadian could confirm the Metropolitan Peelers. Join Chris, Paul and Oriel as this week The Penny Morthouse Podcast jumps into the time machine to confront London's most famous serial killer. "Jack the who? Never heard of him!, I'm Dr Thomas Cream".

 Throw off your wheelchair and run away from the jolly fat woman! The Penny Morthouse Podcast is here with grapes and flowers to help you get better. In this episode you better stick it out to the end before you call in the lawyers. Yes I know we are sicko's but even we have standards albeit low. Bet you laugh, we certainly did following the story of Dee Dee and Gypsy Blancharde.

  "The truth is out there!" RUBBISH, The truth is right here at The Penny Morthouse Podcast. Join Paul, Chris and Oriel as we take you past the manufactured mass media truth designed to control your tiny minds and bring you the real truth behind Hitler's tache and Trump's quiff. Just don't tell the authorities or they'll shut us down.

Close your eyes, open your ears and mount Black Bess for the ride of your miserable life. Yes! The Penny Morthouse Podcast is back with Dick Turpin spurting into your lug holes. Jump on side saddle as we canter back to 1705 and the birth of this miserable little prick. It's amazing what a bit of good P.R and 3 centuries does. Well we'll bring you the truth, as our most dedicated listeners know, only the truth will do.

Fancy some sunshine on your bones? Then join the Penny Morehouse Podcast as we set sail for...... Wait a minute where did they go? 

Grady Stiles Jnr - Killer Crab Scuttle over and grab that gun, Lobster Boy doesn't take no Shizzle. This week The Penny Morthouse Podcast investigate just how deadly a crustacean can be. In the town of the circus freak show Grady is king and you better not forget that, or it's the furry side of the pincer coming your way. With The Electrified Girl, The Human Blockhead and Midget Man in tow what could possibly go wrong in this tale of freaks, murder and deceit.

If you like your women manly and your dinner made from arse cheek, join The Penny Morthouse Podcast this week as we delve into the story behind Australia's most fearsome lady, the Black Knight. A fully belly and empty balls are the order of the day for this temptress just be sure you drink her under the table and don't fall asleep.

The Gunpowder Plot - That Fawkes Guy Whizz, bang! Oh shit. So close, yet so far for our plotters. Join The Penny Morthouse Podcast this week as we discuss what could've been the biggest game changer in UK history. However is was not to be and ended up as just eight blokes making a massive cock up, not that we want to give the ending away.

DB Cooper. The Perfect Heist? 'I'll have a bourbon and coke and $200k please'. This week The Penny Morthouse investigates one of America's most favourite mysteries, the tail of DB Cooper. With 1970s sexism in full swing we try to unravel the facts. Did he make it off with the loot, did he move to the Copacobana or was he simply eaten by sharks. Draw your own conclusions on this one and don't forget to dispose of faeces appropriately.

Ned Kelly the Bush Kangaroo. Bang bang you're dead. Here comes Ned to menace you wearing a pair of stocking's in a fine denier. This week The Penny Morthouse chart the life and times of Australia's most famous outlaw. Will Ned ever escape the attentions of the law, will his armour save him from a hail of bullets, from hero to zero Ned is only a hop, skip and a jump away from the hangman's noose.

Cans are a crackin! It's Friday night in the London Studio and the cider is flowing. This week the Mad Monk is in town. Manic eyes and a massive wanger Rasputin sets his sights on conquering Russia and vaginas. Mysterious ringing a plenty as Chris indulges in his favourite hobby of recapping and an old friend pops in to say hello.

Cakes and pies it's swinging London, 1963. A gangster auction brings two clans together to form an inept super group. Hairdressers and Florists a plenty it's going to go off big style. Let's just hope Ronnie can keep it all together and no one forgets to feed the cat.

Run run run or just calmly close the front door. Join the Penny Morthouse as this week we delve into the squelchy world of Zombies. Historical fact collides with biblical fiction as the dead rise and we scrape the Zombie barrel. Romero Round Robin and weapon of choice. It's all good ball slapping fun.

Put on your Personal Protective Equipment and tune in your dial, The Penny Morthouse is back to put an end to John The Con. It's bang and pump as Mr Melty continues on his quest for wealth. Vol Au Vents and real butter, I just wish Lenny Henry would fuck off.

No Christmas dinner, well what did you expect? Maintaining factual inaccuracies and incorrect pronunciations the Penny Morthouse is back after hiatus. Religious fanaticism and a lust for glamour land John in the nic. Terrible fraudster or terrible vampire? Melted mice and money are just the beginning.

I don't know but I've been told, rottin' corpses get mighty cold. This week, The Penny Morthouse gets back to murderous basics with serial killer and army superstar, Dennis Nilsen. Often said to be "the British Jeffrey Dahmer", Dennis is surely so much more than that. Now, where's my grandad?

"What, like you've never been ill?! Join The Penny Morthouse for a pioneering episode recorded through the magic of Skype. This week, we discuss tonsils, bullshit, and also try to mention a Scottish cannibal known as Sawney Bean. You have been warned. Why don't you go and listen to our Fred and Rose West episode instead?"

Dracula - Killer. Beast. Snooker player? The Penny Morthouse sinks its teeth into the subject of vampires and, more specifically, the King of the Vampires himself, Count Dracula. With special attention paid to history, literature, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not one stone is left unturned in the telling of the legendary monster's story. But please, make sure your husband's shirt fits him correctly before listening to this episode.

Lizzie gets finished off in more ways than one. This week, The Penny Morthouse wraps up The Borden story. Will we crack the case and finally prove who murdered Andrew and Abby Borden? Almost certainly not.

Here's a girl who'll give you a real splitting head. This week, The Penny Morthouse talks Lizzie Borden - American hero and possible axe murderer. A Victorian mystery stuffed full of lesbian action, shitting in buckets, and pigeoncide. Chop chop, get listening!

Rule, Britannia! The Penny Morthouse gets down and dirty with Britain's most mysterious wild creatures, definitively separating beast fact from beast fiction. The Loch Ness Monster, winged serpents, the Ratman - we'd be honoured if you'd join us for our burqa party.

Get your charms, your cauldrons, and your black pussies ready for The Pendle Witches, England's most famous coven. The Penny Morthouse discusses broom usage, curses, and all things magical in seventeenth century Lancashire. Just be careful you don't get bewitched by DemDikes.

CRASH. Let's get steamy, let's get wet. The Penny Morthouse travels back in time to the year 1912 to explore the wonders of the magnificent RMS Titanic. Join us for our in depth discussion on one of the finest maritime disasters in recent history. Our research reaches deeper than the floor of the Atlantic. Bring a warm jacket.

Fred and Rose are back for their last hurrah! The Penny Morthouse looks into the second half of the lives of our serial murdering, serial shagging, serial DIYing couple. Will it all end in tragedy? Will Rose hire a stylist? Will Fred ever finish that patio? Is he destined to become... just a shelf boy?

Romeo and Juliet, Kathy and Heathcliffe, Fred and Rose. Join The Penny Morthouse as we discuss the lives and work of Britain's sexiest serial killer couple, Fred and Rose West. Murder, buggery, and farmer voices abound - you will be intrigued, you will be horrified, you will be somewhat aroused and then feel a deep, deep shame down in your belly. Fred and Rose West - sex, murder, farmers, boobs.