PODCAST · music
Tapasya Loading
by T.L. Mazumdar
Tapasya Loading, is a safe space to attempt honest, raw and authentic conversation in homage to the ancient act of stoking a sacred fire. Hosted by Musician/Educator T.L.Mazumdar, it pays proverbial homage to the ancient act of burning fear away with love and joy by inviting raw and authentic conversations and exchanges with fellow artists and path-breakers.
Episodes
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Naming it: How music theory taught me more about my feelings
There's a gap between what we can feel and what we can name; between sensing something and being able to articulate it to the world or even to ourselves. Seen Heard Held releases 16th Oct 2026 on Warner Chappel Music. Pre-save the album Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Seen, Heard, Held (and the Burden of Explanation)
Official announcement of my upcoming 8th album 'Seen Heard Held' with thoughts on the why, how and what of it all. Seen Heard Held releases 16th Oct 2026 on Warner Chappel Music. Pre-save the album Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Voices Returned: Sheila Chandra on Echo
Sheila Chandra returns to Tapasya Loading for her third appearance to discuss Echo, a collection of live recordings she describes as possibly her final album. Her first album as producer reunites her with Stuart Bruce, a collaboration dating back to Sheila’s Monsoon sessions in 1982 and continued...
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Coming out wrong. A 10-year reflection.
With roughly a month to go before my eighth album comes out, I’m revisiting the work I’ve dedicated the past decade to, and what I was searching for through it. This is a look back at that search, and how my upcoming album, Seen Heard Held, aims to be the counterbalance to what Re_movement was.…
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‘Fighting’ Clean: Three Weeks After a Racial Attack
Three weeks after a racial attack in Berlin, I move from shock and helplessness into anger, and sit with the discomfort of agreeing with what someone is fighting for without knowing if I could fight the same way. A solocast about racism, belonging, contradictory truths and what humanity means…
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The truth about online coaches (2026)
The coaching industry has fractured into two distinct worlds: one grounded in genuine education and responsibility, another built on engineered dissatisfaction and circular profit models. Between them lies a dangerous gap where the language of transformation masks the machinery of extraction, and...
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Rocking the Boat w/ Vivienne Aerts
Five years after her first appearance on Tapasya Loading, New York-based Dutch vocalist, composer, producer, educator and psychologist Vivienne Aerts returns as our first-ever guest to make a second reappearance. Her new album, Current, was created aboard a tiny wooden sailboat that Vivienne and...
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The Problem With ‘Holistic’
What happens when you stop trying to force incompatible parts of yourself into a single coherent identity, and recognize that the relationship between those parts is the identity itself instead? Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Why AI is embarrassing, not threatening
In an era when machines generate the appearance of creativity, understanding the difference is not sentimental. Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Coaching vs Therapy (2026)
The boundary between coaching and therapy has become impossibly blurred, particularly for independent artists navigating both creative ambition and psychological weight. Most distinctions you've heard collapse under scrutiny, revealing instead that what actually matters is scope, competence,...
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Identity and the Growth Mindset
Why a Growth Mindset less about trying harder and more about loosening your grip on who you think you are. Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses Music and Audio Production: www.everynowheremusic.com
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The perils of 'like' culture
How the relentless pursuit of "likes" ended up reshaping art. Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Self-Loathing: The Signal We Misread
Self-loathing is a harsh word to acknowledge, but what it points to is real. And what it shows up as in our daily decisions are the buildings blocks of the pattern that threatens to pull us away from our own creative centre. Brought to you by: https://holisticmusicianacademy.com/...
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The Full Fee: On Worth, Receiving, and Babysitting
I was a toddler when two women at a doorstep decided what I was worth. It took me decades to hear the lesson inside that deal. This one is about value decided, not discovered. About us waiting for circumstances to hand down a verdict that was never theirs to give. And about the harder half:...
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Dirty Work: What Nobody Tells Creatives
Why a manager, team, assistant, audience or patron might be useless to us until we understand this first. Brought to you by: https://holisticmusicianacademy.com/ https://safeandsound.studio/ Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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From Rock Machine to Human Be w/ Uday Benegal
Uday Benegal is the founding vocalist of Indus Creed (formerly Rock Machine), the Bombay band that that arguably forced the rest of the world to acknowledge the existence of a culture that had always existed inside post-colonial India amidst the crossfire of an East and West not always as...
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"Limiting Beliefs" — A Limiting Belief?
Most creatives know that beliefs are holding them back. Some can articulate them, analyse them, even replace them with supposedly empowering alternatives. Yet the behaviour often remains unchanged, and the resistance stubbornly intact. What comes up: Why "limiting belief" might be the inaccurate...
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Familiarity is not safety
The brain mistakes repetition for safety, comfort for understanding, and endurance for choice. This confusion runs deeper than personal relationships; it shapes entire careers, industries, and the inherited scripts we mistake for our own lives. What comes up: Why the decisions that change your…
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Saying 'No'
Saying no sounds simple. It isn't, and not for the reasons most people think. In this episode I unpack why the word itself was never really the problem, what's actually happening when we can't hold a line, and why the emotional aftermath of a boundary is harder than the boundary itself. Drawn…
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The Lost History of Indian Jazz w/ Sandhya Sanjana
There is an entire chapter of Indian music history that has shaped global music in unknown ways remains preserved only in the human memory of a select few. Sandhya Sanjana is one of those humans. Long before "world music" became a marketing category, she was part of a generation of home-grown...
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Gift Economy vs Transactional Economy
In this episode, I unpack two economic philosophies that sound academic but are anything but. The gift economy and the transactional economy. What they actually mean, where they came from, why the gift economy keeps surfacing as an alternative to the chaos of how power and wealth get distributed...
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The Pain of Not Being Seen
The fear of invisibility haunts nearly every one of us, especially creatives. We're quick to blame the algorithm, the platform, the saturated market, and AI. But what if the real source of that pain runs much deeper? Rooted not in metrics, but in older wounds we're carrying? This piece traces the...
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Capacity vs Capability
In an era obsessed with relentless output, we often make the subtle but dangerous mistake of confusing our outward capabilities with our internal space. While modern hustle culture demands flashy performances, new skills, and louder opinions, the profound art of truly "holding space" is quietly...
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The Myth of Accessibility
What does “accessibility” really mean when the door looks open, but power still decides who gets in? Using the music world as a revealing lens, this episode discusses how current culture turns openness, authenticity, and even vulnerability into branding tools that can mask exclusion…
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The Neuroscience Behind Narrow-mindedness
What if creativity is not just an abstract concept, but a vital physiological necessity rooted deeply within the human brain? What if creative freedom isn’t a luxury at all, but a biological requirement for humanity? The striking connection between stress, brain function, and creativity reveals…
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Confirmation Bias and the Law of Attraction
Pop psychology can often flatten complex neurological phenomena into simplistic manifestation slogans. But the actual mechanics behind how our brains organize reality is far more fascinating. Read the article. Free Artist Training Coaching + courses
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Safety, Trust and the Piano w/ Pallavi Mahidhara
When a serendipitous turn of events resulted in Mahidhara's international debut being on one of the most visible stages of the world, the cascade of events that followed leading to an illustrious career that breaks multiple stereotypes in the arts industry by default, was not on a premeditated...
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What is 'Emotional Labour'? (Why We Need to Know)
Ever wondered why those heartfelt conversations with friends leave us drained, even when no one's keeping score? Emotional labour is one of those terms that's either completely unknown or been flattened by overuse. It shows up insidiously in wellness content, relationship advice, and workplace...
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'Outsourcing' our voice.
A single offhand line in a hotel café, (“Get someone else to sing it”) can crack open a much bigger question: who gets to decide whether our voice belongs? This personal anecdote dives into my experience of being pushed into a category, and the deeper truth that creativity isn’t just craft or...
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Performing vs Being Performative
What if the biggest challenge for us isn’t learning how to perform well, but discerning true expression from a hunger for approval? Read the full blog post: https://holisticmusicianacademy.com/blog/performing-versus-being-performative Explore coaching + courses for independent creatives:...
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Identity: First Step Last — Live Q&A @ Pianist Academy
This episode is a live Q&A session from my Workshop 'Identity: First Step Last', delivered at the Pianist Academy, founded by award-winning pianist Charles Szczepanek. Although the workshop was conducted for pianists, the conversation quickly moves beyond music into larger questions of…
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Exhaustion vs Burnout: (Why They’re Not the Same Thing)
Is Your Tiredness Actually Burnout? The Distinction That Could Change Everything Feeling exhausted while simultaneously experiencing some of your most creative and meaningful work might seem like a paradox—but it's far more common (and far less alarming) than you think. While exhaustion and…
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Freedom, Love and Identity w/ Peter Crone
For over twenty years, Peter Crone (‘’The Mind Architect’’, ‘’Human Ayahuasca’’), has worked with some of the world’s most elite athletes, CEOs, artists, and Hollywood icons, helping them dissolve the mental constructs that create limitation and suffering. His approach doesn't attempt to offer...
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'Online Education' is Dead
When medium gets confused with memory, and quality gets buried under endless content, it’s easy to blame the screen instead of the real culprits: unprocessed pandemic associations, collapsed discernment, and marketing masquerading as teaching. Read the full blog post (with academic references):...
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Intentionality vs Awareness
Join the Peter Crone Live Podcast Taping RSVP here Read the full blog post (with academic references): https://holisticmusicianacademy.com/blog/intentionality-vs-awareness Explore coaching + courses for independent artists: holisticmusicianacademy.com ––– Work with me: → C.I.A.R. self-paced…
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Why You Should Take it Easy In January (2026)
The idea of taking a step back might seem counterproductive. But embracing a period of rest and reflection in January could be the strategic move needed to fuel your creativity, prevent burnout, and enhance overall productivity. By allowing your nervous system the time and care to regulate, you…
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Sincerity vs Perfectionism
In a world that often equates perfect with excellence, it's easy to overlook how such mindsets can obscure the true essence of creativity: sincerity. This episode delves into the emotional complexity behind how many of us inadvertently sacrifice the genuine sincerity that breathes life into our...
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Buying New Gear for Your Studio (and Why It Won’t Help)
In the whirlwind of year-end sales and irresistible deals, many artists find themselves caught in a familiar cycle of seeking external fixes for deeper creative uncertainties, often without realizing the true cost. This pattern, fueled by emotional urges rather than genuine progress, can leave...
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From Busyness to Sustainability w/ Sæunn Thorsteinsdóttir
Sæunn happens to be one of the most respected cellists in the world, performing with orchestras like the Los Angeles Philharmonic, BBC Symphony, and Iceland Symphony, and in venues like Carnegie Hall, Barbican, and Suntory Hall, to name just a few accolades. She’s basically one of the best out...
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Signal vs Noise: Music Production Turned Psychological Literacy
In a world overwhelmed by information, the concept of "signal-to-noise ratio" as used in music production can be a powerful life philosophy in our everyday lives. Clarifying what truly matters amidst the distractions can steer us from reactive chaos to intentional harmony. Read the full blog post...
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Why Seeking Help Can Feel Wrong
Seeking help can feel like a luxury or something that qualifies us as 'weak' by default. By the time we finally are ready to reach out, we've experienced what I refer to as one of the Five D's—Death, Disease, Divorce, Discernment, and Disillusionment. Today's episode explores how these critical...
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Creative Agency vs AI and the Problem with Problem-solving w/ Miles Miniaci
Professor Miles Miniaci returns to the podcast, with another exchange filled with effortless resonance and curiousity. A mentor writing instructor, we crossed paths serendipitously at the Tate Modern in London right after my master’s graduation ceremony, to launch immediately into the beginning…
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Where the Music Lives: Bandmates, Cities and the home within w/Corey Congilio
In this episode, I reconnect with guitarist, educator, and fellow Effortless Mastery retreat graduate Corey Congilio—a musician whose presence in the Nashville scene is more than skill; it’s a standard. Corey’s work as a pioneering educator has shaped players across generations, with a roster of...
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On the Mat Forever w/ Ryan Hurst
Ryan Hurst returns to Tapasya Loading on the launch of his much-awaited book On The Mat Forever (OTMF), with a conversation that leaves as powerful and deep an imprint as our first 3 years ago. Ryan holds four black belts, and spent twenty-eight years in Japan immersed deep in the study of…
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Surrender, Mortality and why Sound Remains w/ Rez Abbasi
Guitarist, composer and educator Rez Abbasi joins T L Mazumdar for a conversation that begins with music but doesn’t end there. Born in Karachi and raised in California, NYC-based guitarist Rez Abbasi has long been a bridge between worlds: jazz, South Asian and urban traditions, intellect and...
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Why Artists Stay in Unstable Systems (Even When It Hurts)
You play the gig. You get the praise. Then silence. You send the pitch. No reply. Then—out of nowhere—a playlist bite. Enough to keep you hooked. Not enough to feel whole. This episode is about a subtle but powerful loop most artists find themselves in without even realizing it: **Intermittent...
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Artists and Trauma-Bonding
Art often emerges as a vital sanctuary for those navigating life's deepest fractures, offering a sense of connection and safety. Yet, this very refuge can unwittingly evolve into a subtle trap, where unprocessed wounds forge unbreakable ties that blur the line. As artists chase authenticity and...
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The Toll of Hustle Culture on Artists
In the fast-paced world of independent artistry, the concept of "hustle" has evolved from a symbol of self-reliance to a relentless pressure to produce and promote without pause. This episode delves into the historical roots and modern implications of hustle culture, revealing how it has shifted...
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Otherness, Art, and the The Myth of the ‘Professional Musician’ w/ Soumik Datta
Composer, sarodist, and cultural shapeshifter Soumik Datta joins T.L. Mazumdar for a conversation that goes far beyond the usual talk of craft and career. Born in Mumbai and raised in London, Soumik grew up between cultures, mentored by Pandit Buddhadev Das Gupta in Kolkata and later trained in...
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How to Find a Music Mentor (Without Falling for the Hype)
A real mentor isn’t someone polishing your next single for the algorithm. They’re a guide who holds space for your whole journey—creative, human, and messy. In a world crowded with 'coaches' promising shortcuts, the difference lies in lived craft and soul. Real mentorship goes deeper than…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Tapasya Loading, is a safe space to attempt honest, raw and authentic conversation in homage to the ancient act of stoking a sacred fire. Hosted by Musician/Educator T.L.Mazumdar, it pays proverbial homage to the ancient act of burning fear away with love and joy by inviting raw and authentic conversations and exchanges with fellow artists and path-breakers.
HOSTED BY
T.L. Mazumdar
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Tapasya Loading have?
Tapasya Loading currently has 100 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Tapasya Loading about?
Tapasya Loading, is a safe space to attempt honest, raw and authentic conversation in homage to the ancient act of stoking a sacred fire. Hosted by Musician/Educator T.L.Mazumdar, it pays proverbial homage to the ancient act of burning fear away with love and joy by inviting raw and authentic...
How often does Tapasya Loading release new episodes?
Tapasya Loading has 100 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Tapasya Loading?
You can listen to Tapasya Loading on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Tapasya Loading?
Tapasya Loading is created and hosted by T.L. Mazumdar.
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