Tell Me About Your Father

“When your child is having an extreme outburst of emotions, for whatever reason it might be, repeat to yourself, ‘He's not giving me a hard time. He's having a hard time.’"The dad-themed books of my childhood were always found on the back of the toilet, or nearby. Filled with jokes about golf, alone time, toilet seats, alcoholism and contact sports, these short, often illustrated paper products reflected the expectations we had of fathers as the man in the house who most deserved a nap. On this Father’s Day episode of TMAYF, Erin and Elizabeth talked with Kevin Maguire of The New Fatherhood.org, and author of the new book of the same name, about the stark history and new realities of being a dad in the 2020s, his own experience with post-natal depression, how men have evolved as a species, breaking the cycles we inherit, and why psychedelics may hold the key to a personal paradigm shift for parents. Here’s to the guys who are doing the work like their children are watching. Happy Father’s Day to you and yours,Erin, Elizabeth & MattIt’s cool. Just do it. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In our annual Pride episode, Matthew is joined by film and culture critic Richard Lawson for a living room conversation over cocktails. Starting with Richard's fresh-out-of-the-theater reaction to He-Man: Masters of the Universe and Matthew's just-finished viewing of Richard Gadd's HBO series Half Man and what they have in common, they move into queer coding in animation, Pedro Pascal's career calculus, the relentless nihilism of Half Man versus the false resolution of Masters, and what it means when a creator tears themselves open onscreen.Follow this podcast on Instagram hereFollow Matt Phillp here / Follow Erin Hosier here / Follow Elizabeth Thompson hereGet full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

A couple weeks after The Pitt’s second season ended, we’re still thinking about Kathryn VanArendonk’s essay “Robby Has Never Been Your Daddy.” Kathryn joins Erin and Elizabeth to discuss Noah Wyle’s vision of Robby, the show’s shifting ideas about masculinity and caregiving, and why people seem to have forgotten how to watch TV anymore. Especially this one, omg!Kathryn was also on set for the filming of the "wild pregnancy" emergency C-section scene in the Season 2 finale. (Three words: whipped cream cheese.) Plus, we get into the Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance of it all, Robby/Whittaker/Abbot dystopian pregnancy fan fiction, and the internet’s need for this man to check himself into 90-day inpatient for mean guys at work. Hit play. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

“ Am I just becoming my father and there’s really nothing I can do about that?”What does it actually feel like to change? Not the story you tell about it afterward. Not the version you post. The actual, messy, doubt-filled experience of becoming someone different — or realizing you already have.On this episode of Tell Me About Your Father, Matt Phillp is joined by New York Times Bestselling author, journalist, and professor Benoit Denizet-Lewis to talk about his new book You’ve Changed: The Promise and Price of Self Transformation. They talk about how transformation can sometimes happen slowly and it can hit you like a revelation about your sexuality on a street corner or at a Christian youth convention telling you to give you life to God. They also discuss kind of change you can’t fully take credit for because other people made it possible…like your parents whom you’ll inevitably resemble. Some of what we get into:Why do we often insist that real change has to come from within — when almost none of it actually does?What does doubt during a major life shift actually signal? And why can’t we talk about it publicly?What does it mean when the person you’ve become turns out to look a lot like your father?Benoit has spent his career writing about identity — sexuality, addiction, the stories we tell about who we are and who we’re becoming. This book is his most personal yet, which comes across quite clearly in this episode.Listen by clicking play above, or find this episode on Apple podcasts and wherever else you may attend to your podcast listening. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

By the time Dan Pelzer died last year at the age of 92, he'd accomplished many admirable things. Over the decades, he'd worked as a Marine, a Peace Corp volunteer in Nepal, a seminary student, a passionate campaigner for Jesse Jackson's presidential run in the 80s, a security guard, and as a beloved social worker for incarcerated juvenile delinquents in Columbus, Ohio. Dan was a loving husband to his wife of 52 years, Mary Lou, a hands-on father to their kids Marci and John and his grandchildren, and an engaged member of the community, where he regularly volunteered to feed the hungry. A life well lived by all accounts.But there was something else notable about Dan's life: between the years pf 1962 and 2023, he kept a handwritten record of every book he read, stopping at the very end of that year, a list totaling 3,599 titles of every possible genre, from the pop science classic Rats, Lice and History (1935), to contemporary memoirs by Sinead O'Connor and Jennette McCurdy, and every novel by his beloved John Grisham since A Time to Kill.  On this episode, Dan's daughter Marci reminisces with Erin about reading Gabrielle Zevin's Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow with her father, finding the full list after his death, the surprises therein, and what she's learned from strangers about her dad's life since sharing the list with the world. You can see a digital copy here at Dan's exclusive literary destination, the Columbus Metropolitan Library. And the original handwritten list via What-Dan-Read.com.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It’s that time of year again. Every year, we put the 10 Best Picture nominees under the same deceptively simple microscope: How are fathers portrayed?Joining this conversation, as always, is: member of the New York Film Critics Circle, author of the Premier Party newsletter, host of the Critical Darlings podcast, culture writer Richard Lawson. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

At 15, Natalka Burian’s last words to her father were “I hate you.” That afternoon, he died at 44. Now a parent the same age he was, Natalka joins Erin and Elizabeth to talk about regrets, the fear of repeating a parent’s fate, and how to make peace with what you cannot know. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

 2025 began with Elon Musk's 4-year-old son X telling Donald Trump to shut his mouth, and it ends with us - the father of all award shows. We're rounding up the men who surprised and delighted us this year, and the one who repelled, in pop culture, politics and beyond. Love you and thanks for listening! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Christian Nightmares, our favorite chronicler of evangelical Christianity’s tightening grip on American politics in 2025, returns to Tell Me About Your Father for a look back at a truly frightening year in Christian Nationalism that aims to ensure that America is truly one nation under God Trump. In this episode, the anonymous editor of Christian Nightmares, who goes by “Christian”, walks us through his top 5 purveyors of Christian Nationalism this year, which feature such luminaries as pastor Joel Webbon, who matter of factly believes women don’t belong in public life and shouldn’t vote, much less podcast, and Eric Orwoll, whose white power organization Return to the Land is hard at work building a “fortress for the white race” in Ravenden, Arkansas. We also talk with Christian about how the year has given rise to a glut of militarized Christian branding and survivalist drag, complete with camo, tactical gear, and merch for battles that don’t exist. (We know what this country needs: more gun-toting men and boys.)Then there’s the growing Christian Nationalist war on “empathy.”As another gruesome grifter, pastor Josh McPherson says: “Empathy is toxic. Empathy will align you with Hell.” We try to parse why Charlie Kirk also couldn’t “stand the word.” It’s a world view in which care for others is a trap set by childless uggos and fat Army generals. Compassion is always a weakness, and the people who believe it wholeheartedly are right in the center of power in the US. It’s not your mama’s Golden Rule(book). And, as Christian explained in the interview he did with us back in 2021, he knows this world well. Raised in an evangelical church that instilled constant fear of a punitive god in its members, his work has become a living record of the fundamentalism that shaped his childhood and has since crept its way into the White House under the cloak of Russell Vought’s Project 2025, curling up at Stephen Miller’s feet.Rob Reiner tried to warn us, but we’re not sure the country will listen until Vought takes away their porn.We are wishing you all a happy and healthy holiday break from your jobs, surrounded by the love of your chosen family, favs and friends.Yours,Erin, Elizabeth and MattThis podcast is 100% creator and reader-supported. To help us keep it up, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Jeff Buckley spent his life trying to escape the shadow of his estranged father, folk musician Tim Buckley. Yet after both died young, Tim of an overdose in 1975, Jeff in a tragic river accident in 1997, their stories became inseparable. Rolling Stone editor David Browne, author of Dream Brother and Jeff Buckley: His Own Voice, joins Erin and Elizabeth to discuss the Buckley legacy and why Grace still haunts new listeners three decades later. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It’s not quite accurate to say that Hester Kaplan’s father Justin Kaplan was a man of few words because Justin Kaplan was a man of many. His first book, a biography of Mark Twain published in 1966, won both the Pulitzer and the National Book Award, a debut that ensured Kaplan would enjoy a long and prestigious career as an author and editor. It was an idyllic life in Cambridge, Massachusetts, that he shared with his wife Anne Bernays, also a novelist, and their three daughters.But Hester doesn’t remember her father ever looking her in the eyes or letting any of his three kids call him ‘Dad,’ not out of any cruelty or neglect, but more of a mysterious inability to go there. Hester remembers the steady clickety clack of his typing behind the study door as a child as he wrote, his quiet retreat in a household filled with estrogen, and craved the connection over his own memories of growing up that were never revealed.Even after Hester became an author herself, she had never read any of her father’s work - nor had he read hers. But after his death in 2014, Hester embarked on a new book, TWICE BORN: Finding My Father in the Margins of Biography (available now), wherein she biographs the biographer, unearthing not only the parallels between Joe/Justin’s interior life and those of the literary giants he memorialized, but also finds intimacy in her memories of a surprisingly tender man who eschewed sentimentality but nevertheless always had a chestnut for the people he loved. Here’s more of my conversation with Hester Kaplan. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In the Task finale, "A Still, Small Voice," TMAYF gets into three Fs that have always been at the core of the series: faith, forgiveness, and fatherhood. (Also, feathers, but this is our least bird-centric recap to date.) We also discuss Mark Ruffalo’s Phillies-cup redemption arc, say goodbye to DelCo’s saddest dads and the yawning expanses between their actions and self-awareness, and talk about the miracle of grace, even when it’s hard to find. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

The one thing we don’t discuss in this, our penultimate, recap of HBO’s Task is that the title of episode 6 is a play on a line from a poem by the 13th century Persian poet Jelaluddin Rumi (sorry if you already knew that!). We just thought its meaning was self evident because there IS a river in this show.Here’s what we do cover:* Goodnight, snickerdoodle* There are still more moles! Stop it! Enough! * Tom’s search for a replacement son* Gertie's evocation as a Lego and what constitutes an impression of a chicken *Robbie's final moments. Golden Globe for Tom P or are we the only people watching this show? Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Writer and filmmaker Julian Brave NoiseCat joins Elizabeth to talk about We Survived the Night, his new book about his father, Indigenous North Americans, survival, and storytelling. Listen as he reflects on his dad—found as a newborn in an incinerator at a Catholic-run residential school—and how that legacy shaped his family and his understanding of love and forgiveness. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

“Vagrant,” the fifth episode of HBO’s Task, which we are recapping for TMAYF nation, is overflowing with more moles than a dermatologist’s office. And don’t get us started on the animal references in general in this episode alone: at least four different kinds of birds, a baby giraffe, the dead deer from Sam’s nightmares, Gwen Stefani’s spiderweb, and a dragonfly (which tattoos tell us is a sign of transformation). Still, this was the ep we’ve been waiting for, because those ubiquitous HBO poster images of Robbie and Tom rushing toward each other with guns drawn in the forest finally make sense, as these two dads try to reconcile the impending threat of death for both, and the inevitable pain their losses will have on their myriad children. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In this recap of episode 4 of HBO’s Task, we wonder aloud for 58 (tight) minutes about why this show isn’t actually called I’m Going to Tell You About Some Fathers, unpack Lizzie's chunky highlights, anoint Maeve, once again, as the only functioning adult in the room, and do impressions of birds that will rock you to your core. Plus, Robbie and Harper's heartbreaking conversation, fish drama, and the sweet escape of Grassodoodle.We’ve got 3 more episodes left and we know there are more bird metaphors to come. See you next week! The best is yet to come. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

This week on Operation Recap HBO’s Task, we ask why Task isn’t called Dads of Delco or Maeve of Easttown, or even, For Fifty-Year-Old Men, By Fifty Year Old Men, and actually deliver an answer that we heard on another podcast. BUT, don’t worry - you are getting fresh insights here, when we break down the major question mark of this episode: who are the moles?Join us next week for Ep 4! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Pull up a seat with an alarmingly overstuffed hoagie, because it's time for this week's episode 2 recap of HBO’s Task! From FBI war rooms to chicken coops (both are essentially shacks), Task keeps building its character-driven “Sons of Anarchy reject script” storytelling around the big question: who counts as family, and how far will you go to protect them?Episode 2 maintains the dramatic anchor of Task in in its characters, through messy families and the dangerous weight of responsibility. Naturally, children are in the crosshairs, Harleys are rumblin', and there is a Pearl Jam song prominently featured. How mad is Sean Penn that he is not in this?! Hit play and see you next week. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to our first weekly recap of HBO’s latest Sunday night prestige crime saga, Task. This Delco-set Tale of Two Sad Dads from Mare of Easttown writer-director Brad Inglesby stars Mark Ruffalo as a grieving ex-priest–turned-alcoholic FBI agent with a philosophy degree, and Tom Pelphrey as a garbage man–turned–robber trying to keep his family afloat. Sign us UP, girl! Starting next week, our Task recaps will live on tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com. All you have to do to hear them is hit “subscribe.” It’s free. Save your money for wooder ices. See you again next week. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Literary It girl Caroline Calloway joins Erin Hosier and Elizabeth Thompson to talk about her father's tragic suicide amidst her viral public shaming in 2019, her obsession with the late Prozac Nation memoirist and Gen X agent of chaos Elizabeth Wurtzel (who Erin knew well as EW's first assistant in 1999), and the generational legacies left by their unknowable fathers (particularly Wurtzel's secret bio dad Bob Adelman). Caroline interviews Erin about the making of Wurtzel's 2001 advice book, Radical Sanity - which is the inspiration for Caroline's latest - and the three discuss the fallout of the daddy issues complicated women inherit from complicated men. [1:00–12:00] Becoming Caroline CallowayThe rise of Caroline’s Instagram-era fame, her viral captions, and the internet culture that turned her into a lightning rod. Caroline shares how grieving her father led her to a midnight pilgrimage to the Harvard library, connecting with the version of him she loved most.[12:00–20:00] Scammer and SurvivalCaroline leans into the “scammer” label and reframes it.[20:00–36:00] Father FalloutTW: A frank discussion of Caroline’s father’s suicide, mental illness, and the parallels the hosts draw from their own paternal losses.[36:00–53:00] Ghosts We Can LoveCaroline reads from Scammer, reflecting on the “younger version” of her father she grieves and how memory can be redemptive.[53:00–1:03:00] The Wurtzel ConnectionErin recounts her friendship with Elizabeth Wurtzel and the confessional literary era of the 90s that reshaped women’s writing, and the tragic true story of EW's secret father[1:03:00–1:14:00] Literary LineageCaroline explains her obsession with Wurtzel, the artifacts she collected, and why “messy women” matter.[1:14:00–End] Mentorship, Madness, and MeaningA spirited discussion of mentorship, fandom, and finding beauty in complicated legacies. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Author Aatish Taseer, whose new book A Return To Self: Excursions in Exile comes out this week, did not meet his father, Salman Taseer, the former Governor of Punjab, Pakistan until he was 21 and their relationship was, to say the least, complicated. In 2009, he wrote a book about the experience, Stranger to History, about his journey to meet his father that was also an exploration of what it means to be a Muslim in the 21st Century. Shortly after Aatish made contact with his father, in early 2011, Governor Taseer was assassinated by his own bodyguard for pardoning a woman who had been sentenced to death for allegedly insulting the Prophet Mohammed. On this episode of Tell Me About Your Father, Aatish Taseer talks with Matt Phillp about his new book, the complicated response he continues to have to his father’s violent assassination, the value and beauty of going on a pilgrimage, what it means to identify with a nation, and how it feels to have been ejected by one.1:24 – Stranger to History & Aftermath. The journey to meet his father, writing Stranger to History, and how the book was used in the trial of his father’s killer.4:06 – Exile from India & Dual Identity. Losing Indian citizenship after criticizing Modi, and grappling with home, identity, and belonging.5:10 – Pilgrimage & Spiritual Encounters. Travel, grief, and spiritual moments in Morocco and Mongolia — including Aatish’s first adult prayer and an eerie experience in the Sahara. 21:43 – "Venus & Serena" and royal racism. Aatish recounts his relationship with Lady Gabriella Windsor and the story of Princess Michael of Kent’s black sheep named Venus and Serena.25:23 – Fragility of Privilege & Royal Absurdity. Reflections on British aristocracy, EasyJet royalty, and being exiled from elite circles.33:41 – The Power of Ritual. Burning Man, sacred spaces, and the shared human need for grief and connection.39:28 – Pilgrimage as Memory. A Mongolian shamanic ritual leads to insights on memory, loss, and reconciling with the past.53:21 – Fathers, Futility & Freedom. The complicated relief after his father’s death, and commentary on liberalism, values, and the West.1:00:07 – Family, Writing, and What Remains. On estrangement, inheritance, finding home with his husband, and the writer’s role in making sense of it all.Follow this podcast on Instagram hereFollow Matt Phillp here / Follow Erin Hosier here / Follow Elizabeth Thompson here Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It's Gay Pride (in America)! To commemorate iconic homosexual musician George Michael in the week of what would have been his 62nd birthday, and for our fifth annual Pride episode in the last week of Pride MONTH, Matt takes a look at the enduring cultural impact of George Michael's song Father Figure, and the idea that, as eminent American producer, Dick Clark once put it “Music is the soundtrack of your life.” And from there, Matt talks about how George Michael’s music helped him as a small boy to re-discover the fun of pop music, and maybe even life, after the sudden death of his father. It’s an episode about a whole lot of things, it runs a slim, almost 27 minutes (a commute!), and it includes Liza Minnelli, Stephen Sondheim, and The Pet Shop Boys in a small but reassuring way.Subscribe to our substack hereFollow us on Instagram hereFollow Matt Phillp hereFollow Erin Hosier hereFollow Elizabeth Thompson here Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

On today’s bonus episode of TMAYF, we look back at 6 episodes over the last 5 years that we just can’t stop thinking about. Featuring political podcaster Ravi Gupta, psychic medium Victoria Laurie, fine artist Chris Santa Maria's on his Uncle Bunky, Superstar Molly Shannon, author Gretchen Cherington, and the incomparable Christian Nightmares. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In Part 3, we take a closer look at Elon's descent into Dark MAGA, his unshakeable bond with his father Errol (who now hosts a YouTube channel called Dad of a Genius), and the hopeful rebellion of Musk’s daughter, Vivian Jenna Wilson. Sometimes, being your own dad is the only way out. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In Part 2, we strap ourselves into the roller coaster of Musk’s chaotic romantic relationships, his obsession with fathering a “legion” of children, and the dumb pro-natalist ideology behind it. From pay-for-silence pacts with exes to a compound in Austin for all the sister wives, this episode is about how Musk parents his kids, and by extension, the world he thinks he’s going to save.. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In part one of our two-part series on Elon Musk, based mostly on Walter Isaacson's 2023 biography, we look past the desperate memes and fuckwit chainsaws to see the bruised man underneath the $400 billion net worth. From apartheid South Africa and a violent father to ketamine-fueled Oval Office farewells, here's what happens when a person turns his daddy issues into the world's problem. Part 2: How He Parents (His kids and America) drops next! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Erin & Elizabeth talk with Gen-X icon Ione Skye (Say Anything, River's Edge, Zodiac), the actress and author of the NYT-bestselling memoir SAY EVERYTHING. Ione's father is the 60s folk wizard and Sunshine Superman, Donovan. But while Donovan did claim Ione's brother Dono as his own, he referred to Ione since birth only as "the girl," only meeting her for the first time when she was by that point a famous teenager. Ione tells us about how his abandonment affected her early romantic relationships with musicians (Anthony Kiedis, Adam Horovitz), what her husband Ben Lee has taught her about consistency, love and fatherhood, and how the road from rejection to reconciliation is paved with self-protection.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Erin talks with Laurie Woolever, the author of the new memoir Care & Feeding, out this week from Ecco/HarperCollins. Laurie was Anthony Bourdain's assistant from 2009 until his death by suicide in 2018. She coauthored the cookbook Appetites and World Travel with him, and is the New York Times bestselling author of Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography. Care & Feeding is an extremely honest portrayal of Laurie's personal and professional coming of age as a high-functioning addict (to alcohol and excess) in the anything goes era of the food gods of NYC; her first job in the industry was as the assistant to the maniacal Mario Batali for a few years in the early 2000s. Laurie also talks about her actual father, John, whose lifelong caregiving of her mother amidst chronic illness taught Laurie a thing or two about how the care and feeding of others can and must extend to the self.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It’s our annual TMAYF Academy Awards special, in which we examine the ten Best Picture nominees through the lens of literal and symbolic fatherhood. Joining us, as always, is the founding cousin of the TV recap, Vanity Fair’s chief critic, and co-host of the Little Gold Men podcast, Richard Lawson. Together, Matt, Erin, Elizabeth, and Richard chat about dadly silver screen topics, including tyrannical father figures who loom large even in their absence, the seemingly shifting depiction of male mentorship, and, of course, the enduring influence of totalitarian dads, be they popes, oligarchs, or wizards. We also get into the Anora of it all, whether it's time for Timothee to put away childish things, and hear Richard's winner predictions. Hit play! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

On this episode, Erin & Elizabeth talk to animal intuitive Phoebe Hoffman, one of the stars of the new documentary about NYC psychics, Look Into My Eyes (currently on Max). The film hints at Phoebe's colorful life growing up with her divorced father Stanley, who Phoebe lived with in a studio apartment in Manhattan throughout her teenage years, when she dropped out of LaGuardia High School of Music and Art in 9th grade. Stanley, an English teacher who nonetheless played fast and loose with the concept of mentoring, was compared to Philip Roth in 1974 when his debut novel was published, but his literary dreams ended with a gig writing forScrew magazine. As Phoebe chain-smoked the Marlboros her dad procured for her, she skipped school to watch John Waters movies on repeat, all while longing for boundaries, apologies, and parenting. A botched stint in therapy with Stanley led to Phoebe finding a way to lovingly detach from her dad, and led to an unlikely new purpose in life: pet psychic. Phoebe tells us about an otherworldly experience with a horse changed everything, what's up with animals as the conduits of our dead loved ones, and whether our pets love us as much as we love them.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It's the end of 2024 and the time has come for TMAYF's 788th Daddy Awards, which recap the year in masculinity and spotlight the actions of notable fathers and daddies who made our listeners ask themselves, how did we get here, and when will it end. Our shortest ep of the year features all new categories like the Holding Space Award, that recognizes people who have inspired us to wait longingly, sometimes desperately for them, not unlike a father who works late because he hates coming home. And who will win Most Divorced Dad of 2024? (Hint: it's Ben Affleck), which follows the I Can Fix Him award that honors a hot man under 40 right on the cusp of potential and disaster. There's also gongs for the most Dylan-y of Bob Dylan's tweets, Canadian animals dads, and RFK Jr.'s brain worm. See you next year, next month, promise (unless we die)! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

This Thanksgiving holiday, Erin pays tribute in the form of a eulogy for her late friend, mentor and stepfather, Terry Orvis, who died in August after a long illness. It's a collaborative approach, as Erin includes conversations she and Terry recorded in 2020 after he was diagnosed with dementia, and tells the story of a complicated, brilliant artist, architect, misanthrope, sports fan, Dylan-head, sailor, poet, cook, friend, husband and father of children lost and found. Erin and Terry met when she was in high school when she was invited to her best friend's divorced dad's Thanksgiving day, where they began a conversation that would go on to last 35 years, especially once Terry met Erin's mom, Paige. If you need a break from the bullshit, listen to this, tell the people you love why you love them, ask them why they love you, press record.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Peyton Dix, writer, social media strategist, and hilarious co-host of the eminently watchable new pop-culture podcast Lemme Say This, has been on Elizabeth's Tell Me About Your Father guest shortlist for a while, and the day has finally come! Peyton joins her to discuss her comedian dad, their occasionally complicated relationship, and the ways in which their dynamic, as she puts it, has helped her learn to speak two languages: "problematic Black father and English." We also discuss some of her favorite pop culture dads, from the too-hot-to-be-cringe Ethan Hawke to the steadfastly supportive Dwyane Wade—and even America's brother by way of Malibu, Chet Hanks. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to our first ever presidential election ep not about Biden, wherein we break down the (daddy) issues of the core 4 candidates in the way only TMAYF can or will. Some fun facts about our candidates' formative lives: Kamala's father - named Donald - did not congratulate her on being named VP in 2020, and did not attend the inauguration. According to Donald Trump's psychologist niece Mary, his father Fred was a sociopath, who, "short-circuited Donald's ability to develop and experience the entire spectrum of human emotion." JD's father - also named Donald - never claimed him, and Tim Waltz's dad was a humble HS teacher who died when Tim was just 19. Plus, we parse Michelle Obama's punk AF speech the other night in Kalamazoo. Please vote. Love ya. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Erin talks to Cleveland writer Indira Samuels about her Jamaican immigrant dad, Lionel, and their unique bond, cemented by watching television together up until the day Lionel died in 2014. Like so many dads we talk about on this show, Lionel was a man of few words himself, especially when it came to the big stuff like his daughter's teenage pregnancy, her acceptance to a prestigious university, her robbery and assault, or his illness. But what he could share with his youngest daughter before his death in 2014, was a love of storytelling through the syndicated sitcoms and game shows of the 80s. A favorite of them both: The Golden Girls (Lionel saw himself as a Sofia, but Indira thinks her dad was very much a Blanche) and Jeopardy, the show that taught her the most about her father by his trivia answers. We also talk about testing the taste of men through tv, the messiness of Bob Eubanks, Jerry Springer's on-brand game show called Baggage, and processing grief through mourning Alex Trebek. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Emmy nominated writer, comedian, producer and podcaster, Erin Gibson talks with Matt about growing up in Texas with a father who was, deep down, an actor and writer, but who was put through a military academy, fought in Vietnam, and who became an engineer and never saw his natural talents come to fruition. She recalls, three years after his death, what it was like to be by his side for his final month as he fought a losing battle with cancer, and how his death taught her not to be afraid of death and to take more chances. Click here to follow this podcast on InstagramClick here to support this podcast on Spotify Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Matt Phillp talks with Komail Aijazuddin, author of new memoir Manboobs about what it was like to grow up Muslim, fat, and queer in Pakistan - with no ability to hide any of those characteristics. He talks about the process of extricating himself from the oppressive silence of his family and from Lahore and what it was like to discover that the America he’d seen through pop culture was nothing like the real thing. Click here to follow this podcast on Instagram.Click here to support this podcast on Spotify Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Elizabeth talks with journalist Tricia Romano, author of the new oral history The Freaks Came Out to Write: The Definitive History of The Village Voice, the Radical Paper That Changed American Culture. Tricia, who was a contributing writer at the Village Voice for nearly a decade covering New York City’s nightlife and club scenes in the early 2000s, spent six years and hundreds of hours interviewing the newspaper's former staff, dating back decades to its founding in 1955 by Norman Mailer, a psychotherapist, and an editor. Tricia discusses the white macho roots of the publication and its eventual evolution to include female, queer, and Black writers who helped the Voice redefine itself. She also talks about the Voice's prescient coverage of Donald Trump and his father Fred Trump, and the paternal influence that a complicated editor there had on her own life. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Erin and Elizabeth talk with Margaret Wappler, author of A Good Bad Boy: Luke Perry And How a Generation Grew Up, which was excerpted in Vanity Fair. The "Bad Boy" refers to Luke Perry's character on Beverly Hills 90210, Dylan McKay, a Gen-X James Dean with a tender heart. A Good Bad Boy is a dual biography of Luke Perry and Margaret as a teenager mourning her father's death.Margaret regales us with tales of Luke's heroism, like defending Tori Spelling from her abusive boyfriend and waking Jason Priestly from a coma. We also discuss the art of the masculine identity drag show that is the WWE, which Luke admired and his son proudly performs in under the names "Jungle Boy" and "Scapegoat." Luke Perry was a good man, an acclaimed dad, and a mensch in an industry known for its hubris. We salute him this Father's Day month, five years after his loss. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It’s our PRIDE episode! Recorded a few days before her new song, SPRKL, dropped - Christian country music star and drag queen Flamy Grant talks candidly about her journey out of the evangelical southern church in which she grew up and became a worship leader, through her parent-sanctioned ex-gay therapy, and eventually out the other side as a gay man and drag queen who sings about the experience.  She talks about the estranged relationship she has with her father and how she places him in perspective in her life, about what she does to stay fortified as she takes her detractors head-on via social media, and what’s giving her life this Pride. Follow Tell Me About Your Father: https://www.instagram.com/tellmeaboutyourfatherFollow Matt Phillp: https://www.instagram.com/mattphillpFollow Erin Hosier: https://www.instagram.com/erinhosierFollow Elizabeth Thompson: https://www.instagram.com/bizzytVisit https://www.tellmeaboutyourfather.com Subscribe to Tell Me About Your Father on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tell-me-about-your-father/id1504751145Subscribe to Tell Me About Your Father on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ygvpIg8BTp64jKXRal9rb?si=9fda4b3075cd4dd9 Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Tim Alberta joins Ravi Gupta to discuss his new book, “The Power, the Glory, and the Kingdom." The book takes an in-depth, personal look at the birth and rise of America’s evangelical movement and explores how deceit, scandal, and fear have contributed to the wreckage it stands on today.Subscribe to Lost Debate on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lost-debate/id1591300785Follow The Branch on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebranchmediaThe Branch website: http://thebranchmedia.org/Subscribe to Lost Debate on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7xR9pch9DrQDiZfGB5oF0FFollow The Branch on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebranchmedia/ Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

On this Memorial Day weekend episode of Tell Me About Your Father, Matt talks with former Obama staffer and school principal and current co-host of both the Majority 54 podcast and the Lost Debate podcast, Ravi Gupta, about growing up with  a democrat mother and an increasingly right wing father and how the conflict between them often took form in political debate. He talks about what it was like to travel with his father to the village in India in which his father grew up for the first time since his father moved to the US decades ago, how he’s managed to find a way of engaging with his father despite their extreme political differences, and gives advice on talking with hostile right wing people who just want to “own the libs”.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Matt talks with Alex Steed, producer and co-host of the podcast You Are Good - a feelings podcast about movies -  about choosing to live with his father in rural Maine at 12 years old - a dynamic he describes as “a 12-17 year old living with an old man as a roommate,” how his childhood led him to become a “chaos goblin” and how he worked through that, and how nursing his father through cancer helped him to let go of his fear of death. He talks about what was behind changing the name and focus of his podcast Why Are Dads? to You Are Good and explains who his dad is when it comes to Los Angeles, the upcoming election, and in the film Lake Placid. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Elizabeth and Erin chat with indie rock icon Miki Berenyi of the '90s band Lush about her critically acclaimed memoir, "Fingers Crossed," hailed by Rolling Stone and Rough Trade as one of the best autobiographies ever. Miki opens up about her unique upbringing by her eccentric Hungarian sports journalist father and her Nazi-sympathizer grandmother, the turbulent London post-punk scene, and the highs and lows of being in a band that influenced so many musicians, including Kurt Cobain. In this interview, Miki tells us about the agonies and ecstasies of life with a boundary-less, hard-partying, single dad at the helm, and the perils of being treated like an adult when you're six. She also shares the shocking family secrets uncovered in her memoir, which Miki didn't know about until the end of her father's life. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It's our annual Oscars episode with Tell Me About Your Father pal Richard Lawson, chief critic of Vanity Fair, discussing all the dad themes in this year's Academy Award-nominated films. We've got J. Robert Oppenheimer as the father of the atomic bomb in "Oppenheimer", a perma-wounded mad professor dad named "God" in "Poor Things," a philandering dead father whose shadow is cast across "American Fiction," and another dead dad who provides solid proof that writers should almost never be married to each other in "Anatomy of a Fall." Plus "Killers of the Flower Moon," snubs galore (Zac Efron in Iron Claw, you deserved more) and some quick Barbie discourse - we know when to say Kenough! Roll out the red carpet and smash play. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Who was this year’s Best-Worst-Late Father-of-the-Year? Who was the best animal dad? Which saviors of culture are in line to clinch the Patrick Swayze Memorial Award for Excellence in the lifelong practice of Holistic Hotness? From Elon and King Charles to the best of this year’s celebrity memoir tell-alls, the celebrity dads of Tik Tok, and the finest incomprehensibly verbose headlines of the Daily Mail - we sum up the dad-moments that made this year special with the 787th Daddy Awards. It's the father-centric podcast industry biggest awards ceremony of the year! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Matt Phillp talks with culture writer Marcie Bianco, author of Breaking Free: The Lie of Equality and the Feminist Fight for Freedom about her childhood growing up working class in South New Jersey with a father who, as she puts it “erased himself” and how that foundation informs her perspective on society and politics today.  They talk about how her family dynamic shifted when she got a sports scholarship to Harvard, a moment that changed her life forever, how she learned to defend herself at an early age against her father’s violent outbursts, and what it means to throw off the shackles of systemic oppression and create a life of your own making.  Given how bleak it is to truly look at systemic, white patriarchal oppression - another manifestation of father-centric culture if ever there was one - and how it continues to play out in myriad ways for anyone who isn’t a straight white man, Marcie’s take on culture and her book are both fundamentally hopeful, even if she initially struggled to find that sense of hope. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

This is our third episode, since the launch of TMAYF, dedicated to the life story of Britney Spears. Erin and Elizabeth discuss her long-awaited memoir The Woman in Me, and look back at the cultural mood that led to the pop princess tragically being held prisoner by a legal conservatorship that gave her father Jamie the right to control her person and her fortune for 13 years after she had a nervous breakdown in 2008. We unearth a Daily Mail article from 2008 entitled "The Day I Saw Britney Spears' father pull a knife,' by a journalist named Sharon Churcher that highlights - 15 years ago - just how unfit Jamie Spears was to take care of anyone. We discuss the legacy of alcoholism, mental illness, and misogynistic abuse across the Spears family tree, and the sadly enduring trope of abusive patriarchs-as-managers in Hollywood. Later, we also hear from Matt and writer Marcie Bianco - whose new book Breaking Free: The Lie of Equality and the Feminist Fight for Freedom is the perfect chaser for this story. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we are joined by Leta McCollough Seletzky, author of the recent book, “The Kneeling Man: My Father's Life as a Black Spy Who Witnessed the Assassination of Martin Luther King Jr." Seletzky's father, Marrell "Mac" McCullough, appears in the famous photo of Dr. King seconds after he was shot at the Lorraine Motel on April 4, 1968. In the photo, King lies in a pool of blood, surrounded by aides urgently pointing in the direction of the gunshot, while Leta's father kneels at his side, applying pressure to his wound. Upon discovering in her teens that Mac was undercover for Memphis Police that day, Leta's book unpacks his complex life—from spying on Black activists and the racism he endured from white colleagues to the 1998 polygraph test he was subjected to as part of a DOJ investigation. Her conversation with Elizabeth details her work to help piece together her father's legacy and tell his story, long shrouded in secrecy, seeking a complete understanding of the man whose life was forever marked by that pivotal moment in history. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

For the season 4 finale and 2023 Pride episode of Tell Me About Your Father, Matt spoke with comedian, TV and film actor, and Emmy award-winning writer Bryan Safi. As the co-host of three weekly podcasts, "No Autographs Please," "Ask Ronna," and "Attitudes!" formerly known as "Throwing Shade," Bryan is as much a master of comedic improv as he is a shrewd cultural critic, and political commentator. The child of Syrian immigrants on his father’s side, Bryan grew up gay in a deeply conservative household in El Paso, Texas in which his mother suffered from ongoing mental health challenges and his father - who also had a tough father - was extremely difficult to connect with. Listen as Bryan talks about how he eventually extricated himself from his parents’ home, moving first to New York and then Los Angeles where he’s built a successful career, how he now maintains a relationship with his parents despite their political differences, and how and why he’s grateful for some of the things his father taught him. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe