PODCAST · comedy
Temporal Culture War
by Clayton Ashley and Mattie Lubchansky
Mattie Lubchansky and Clayton Ashley figure out what the hell was going on in culture in the early 2000s while they wade through episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise
Episodes
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At Long Last: Florida 9/11
This week, Clayton and Mattie watching Season 2, Episode 26 "The Expanse," and talk about the week that was of May 21, 2003. This is it, folks. The long-awaited Florida 9/11 episode, where Florida gets 9/11ed, and we gaze upon the most beautiful Half-Life 2 ass looking rendering of it.
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Kago Comes in HOT
We're back to our usual programming this week with episode 2, episode 25 "Bounty"! We talked about May 14, 2003 last episode so it's just a lot of KAGO talk! Man we love Kago. More Kago!
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Pacey's Choice
This week, Mattie and Clayton cover the tearful finale, season 6 episode 24 "...Must Come to an End," and the week of May 14, 2003. WHO will Joey choose: Dawson or Pacey? After six long seasons, we finally get some answers. Wouldn't it be SO wild if we were supposed to be covering a different…
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[Robot voice} Continuity ERROR
This week, we're talking season 2, episode 23 of Enterprise, "Regeneration," and the week of May 7, 2003.
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I Heard You Guys (Gender-Neutral) Like Gender
This week, we're talking about season 2, Episode 22 "Cogenitor" and the week of April 30, 2002. Trip decides to become a feminist but for new kind of gender. Phlox does an IQ test. Malcom gets soooooo horny.
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Travis DIED For You!
This week, Clayton and Mattie watch Season 2, Episode 21 "The Breach" (Mattie's rating: 1 Fart Noise) and the week of April 23, 2003 (infinity farts)
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"Hey, Travis!" [APPLAUSE]
All aboard to our dinky little ship that sucks ass! This week, Mattie and Clayton watch season 2, episode 20 "Horizon," and the week of April 16, 2003. Travis goes home! We remember some sports teams! Etc!
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PREVIEW: THE CORE (2003)
Mattie and Clayton have a great time blasting to the center of the earth with Delroy Lindo and co. Listen to the whole thing over on The Patreon! https://temporalculturewar.com
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GREAT Ridgework.
This week, Mattie and Clayton talk about Season 2, Episode 19 "Judgement," and the week of April 9, 2003. We did it folks! We hit (sort of) A Rashomon. Now get in the trial tube (?) and let's hear your story. Head on over to our Patreon and for a couple bucks a month you can hear us talk about…
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Delroy Windows
You guys ever try this BREAD shit? It ROCKS! Wow. God. Anyway, this week it's season 2, episode 18 "The Crossing" and the week of April 2, 2003.
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The Adventures of Disgusting Faceman
This week, we're talking Season 2, Episode 17 "Canamar," and the week of February 26, 2003. Sorry I'm writing the description here and I keep thinking about the one guy's face. It's really awful. Just a lot of little danglies. Hop on the TCW patreon for an extra episode for just a buck!
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Stegosaurus Was an Herbivore. Stegosaurus Was an Herbivore. Stegosaurus Was an Herbivore.
This week, we're talking about season 2, episode 16 "Future Tense," and the week of February 19, 2003. Can you believe it, they remembered to do a story in the main arc of the show. Also: GOOD EPISODE ALERT? A SHRANLESS GOOD EPISODE? Dear God. It's true.
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PREVIEW: Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)
Somehow, a Star Trek movie with Tom Hardy and Ron Perlman as baddies is probably one of the worst Star Trek movie ever made. Feels hard to do on purpose. Head on over to the Patreon to listen to this one! Just a buck a month for a bonus episode. temporalculturewar.com !
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Polyamorous Ground Forces
This week we are talking about Season 2, Episode 15, "Cease Fire" and the week of February 12, 2003! SHRAN IS BACK! SHRAN!!!! This time he brought a mean lady.
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Take Phlox's Wife, Please!
This week, Clayton and Mattie watch Season 2, Episode 14 "Stigma," and talk about the week that was on February 5, 2003. A wild thing happens this week, which is that the episode is pretty good and its A- and B-plots tied together? Also, it turns out that Denobulans have invented HIGHLY...
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Trip and Zho'Kaan, When the Episode Aired
This week Clayton and Mattie talk about a bunch of what happened over the winter of 2002-2003, and the thirteenth episode of season 2, "Dawn." Trip is stranded on a planet with some guy! We hope he's not extremely weird! get on the TCW Patreon for an extra movie every month!
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PREVIEW: EQUILIBRIUM (2002)
In the near future, freedom...is a thing of the past. For this month's Bonus episode, we tackle Christian Bale's if-nobody-is-allowed-to-emote-only-criminals-will-have-emotions movie, EQUILIBRIUM! Mattie has an old DVD that did not work but we persevered without its TWO (!) commentary tracks. Hop...
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Too Sexy For This Episode of Star Trek: Enterprise
This week we're talking about season 2, episode 12 "The Catwalk" and the week of December 18, 2002. Another one that gets soooooo close. They almost know how to write a TV show. We swear. Hey if you happen to be in London, come see Mattie's other podcast do a live show?...
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Wait, Is That Padma?
This week we are watching season 2, episode 11 "Precious Cargo" and the week(s) of December 4th and 11th, 2002. The music? BAD! This episode? Bad! Padma Lakshmi? Hot!
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Go To Sleep, Sleepy Girl. It's Sleepytime.
This we're talking about Season 2, Episode 8 "Vanishing Point," and the week of November 27, 2002! It's sort of a TCW After Dark edition so we are maybe a little insane. It's fine! Just like this episode.
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T'Bottle Episode
Say it. It feels good to say. This week: Season 2, Episode 9 "Singularity" and the week of November 20, 2002! Weirdly: A good episode of the show Star Trek Enterprise? Weird! Pull up your chair (which needs to be fixed by the way) and get really, really, really, really, really really locked in…
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PREVIEW: Femme Fatale (2002)
Is Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale a bad movie? No. Is it a good movie? Harder to say, but it was definitely interesting! So hit up a you're favorite suspicious Russian streaming website before we spoil the twistiest movie of 2002. Slip into something comfortable like maybe an outfit that is 100%...
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Human After All
This week Clayton and Mattie talk about episode 8 of season two, "The Communicator" and the week of November 13, 2002! This one has a hilarious Trip subplot for some reason. Hop in! Let's go! Head to temporalculturewar.com to pitch in a few bucks to help us make the show and get a bonus episode...
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Eternal Sunshine of the Vulcan Mind
We are BACK from hiatus!!!! And we're talking about the week of November 6th, 2002, and the seventh episode of season two which is of course called "the seventh." T'Pol shot first. Get on the Patreon for a bonus movie every month!
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PREVIEW: Ghost Ship (2002)
SEA EVIL!!!!!!! Are you sea-ing evil? Well, we did! We threatened to watch GHOST SHIP (2002) and then we watched GHOST SHIP (2002). We demand you stop thinking about THE ABYSS and instead think about GHOST SHIP, Head over to the Patreon and toss us a measly one dollar! If you'd like to listen to...
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Are you Seven Samurai'ing me right now?
This week, we're talking about season 2, episode 6 "Marauders," and the week of October 30, 2002. Reach for the sky, and hand over the deuterium!!!! Everyone is mean to each other in this one, while the crew tries to do A Bug's Life without all the deception for some reason.
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The Long, Dark, Night of the Sickbay (with Jenna Stoeber)
This week we are joined by friend of the show and medical lube replacer Jenna Stoeber, and we talk about season 2, episode 5 "A Night in Sickbay," and the week of October 16, 2002. This one is a stinker! But as always OUR episode? Is very, very good. Please follow Jenna on YouTube or Twitch! Toss...
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Warp Plasma Can't Melt Station Beams
(By the way, this is the NORMAL speed version, sorry for the goof up!) This week we're talking about season 2, episode 4: "Dead Stop," and the week of October 9, 2002. In history, things are beginning to become very bad! However, this episode of Star Trek: Enterprise....is good? And we liked it?...
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They Never Really Got to Eat Breakfast
This week we spend a lot of time talking about Jackie Chan's The Tuxedo (2002) but then also Enterprise season 2 episode 3 "Minefield" and the week of October 2, 2002!
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PREVIEW: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
This week we are here with a BONUS(!) episode that you can listen to on our Patreon. We make Trek Podcast HERSTORY by being the first ones ever to talk about Star Wars. We of course must torture ourselves with a 2002 entry per the scope of our show, but here we are. Grab a tennis ball and do the...
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Up on Carbon Creek, She Sends Me
This week we're talking about Season 2 episode 1, "Carbon Creek," and the week of September 25, 2002! Listen to Mattie get really mad thinking about Avril Lavigne for some reason (she's fine with her actually. It's fine.) Join our Patreon to support the show!
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Take My Sky, Please! with Joshua Rivera
We did it! We made it to season two, where things are, well, not so good still. We've got a loooot of culture to cover between the seasons of the show, so we're joined by pop culture writer extraordinaire Joshua Rivera! This week: Season 2, episode 1: Shockwave, Part II and the week of September...
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This Weak's Episode
This week we are talking about the season one FINALE, "Shockwave Part 1" and the week of May 22, 2002. We're here, Mr. Clayton, at the end of all things. Sign up for the Patreon and get some bonus episodes!
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The Magician's Code
We don't want to alarm anyone, but it's been broken. The norms are dead! The magicians are rioting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Society is over! This week it's episode 25 of season 1: "Two Days and Two Nights," and the week of May 15, 2002!
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PREVIEW: JASON X (2002)
In this bonus episode, Clayton and Mattie watch the movie that killed the Jason franchise, 2001 (but really 2002)'s JASON X. Star Trek casting synchronicity is abound! And we don't just mean David Cronenberg. Head to https://temporalculturewar.com/ to join our Patreon and listen! Just one(!)…
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Luizi's Mansion
On May 8th, 2002, Star Trek: Enterprise aired not one, but two episodes in a single night. This wasn't a big deal at the time, but decades later, the hosts of a Star Trek: Enterprise podcast that focuses on covering culture released in the same week would have to scramble for something else to…
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All T'Pologies
PROTIP: Blast the theme song at 1.5 speed. It rips! Mattie gets to yell about Lagaan! We debut a brand-new STINGER! This week we're talking about Season 1, Episode 23 of Enterprise "Fallen Hero," and the week of May 8, 2002. Buy Mattie's book why not!
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Get Gooey
Okay. There's a lot of cum talk in this one. But it's not our fault. Blame Season 1, Episode 22 of Enterprise "Vox Sola," and the week of May 1, 2002. This one is like a beautiful gift, wrapped in a big wet clump of saran wrap and snot. Here's that news report we talked about:...
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Planet Guantanamo
This week it's episode 21 of season 1: "Detained" and the week of April 24, 2002. We've got THREE weeks of "stuff" to cover this week. Which: turns out a lot! Anyway, Dean Stockwell is in this one, where we find out: not ALL Suliban are evil, you RACIST! Preorder Mattie's book, or come see her on...
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PREVIEW: "Isaac and Ishmael"
We watched the West Wing 9/11 episode. We did it. This way lies madness....on the Patreon!
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Her Name is T'Pol. Her Name is T'Pol. Her Name is T'Pol.
This week we're talking about Season 1, Episode 20 "Oasis," and the week of April 3, 2002. Odo is in this one! What else is happening in it? Well, not a lot. Also, are we in the end of "the long 2001"? Fingies crossed! Read Spencer Ackerman's "This Is The Beginning of The End of The 9/11 Era."...
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Worthless Gold
This week, Mattie and Clayton talk about episode 19 of season 1: "ACQUISITION" and the week of March 27, 2002. The news is a bummer but it's an incredible week at the cinema! And also: A good (?) episode (?) of Star Trek Enterprise (???????) Who thought this was even possible. Who could have...
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The Least Dangerous Game
This week, we're talking season 1, episode 18 "Rogue Planet" and the week of March 20, 2001. The episode's a clunker but we get to talk about the "Ice Age" franchise and also FOX's celebrity boxing!
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PREVIEW: The Musketeer (2001)
For our inaugural entry in 2001 canon of "huh, that movie came out?" we scoured the Internet for the most popular movie of September 7th, 2001, the last weekend before everything changed. This wire-fu retelling of the classic (?) swashbuckling tale of the French King's secret service detail…
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My Mind to Your Mind
This week, Clayton and Mattie watch episode 17 of season 1, "Fusion," and talk about February 27, 2001. Please enter our new and experimental mind meld. With your permission, of course! The news this week is: heavy! The episode is: Fine! You can support Clayton + his comrades here.
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Bottlepisode One
Where could Enterprise S1E16 "Shuttlepod One" be taking place? Well, we find out, as well as what was going on in the culture the week of February 13, 2002. Pop in your DVD copy of Rollerball and settle in – who knows when rescue could come!
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DO YOU HAVE SHRAN IN YOUR HEART?
Shran fans rejoice! We discuss the season 1 episode "Shadows of P'Jem" and baby? Daddy (Shran) is home (in the episode!!!) Meanwhile in 2001, the New England Patriots and also their friend Bono are here to make us so mad for some reason.
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BONUS PREVIEW: Galaxy Quest
Head on over to our Patreon and listen to the whole thing! Just one dollar a month! We take a journey back to the heady days of the late 90s: Stuart Little and Santana are there, history has ended, and we're Blue (Da ba dee da ba di). Oh, and somehow a movie that got hacked to pieces in the edit...
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Don't Show Me the Targ. Please.
This week, Mattie and Clayton talk about season 1 episode 14 "Sleeping Dogs," in which some Klingons...do something?? while their ship sinks into something or other. Meanwhile, in the year 2001, the "Real West Wing" airs.
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There Should Be a Directive for That
This week, Clayton and Mattie talk about culture the week of January 23, 2002 and S1E13: Dear Doctor. We talk about the madness that occurred over the holidays at the end of 2001 and into early 2002, and also a PHLOX! heavy ep of Enterprise. Let's go!
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Temporal Culture War have?
Temporal Culture War currently has 61 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Temporal Culture War about?
Mattie Lubchansky and Clayton Ashley figure out what the hell was going on in culture in the early 2000s while they wade through episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise
How often does Temporal Culture War release new episodes?
Temporal Culture War has 61 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Temporal Culture War?
You can listen to Temporal Culture War on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Temporal Culture War?
Temporal Culture War is created and hosted by Clayton Ashley and Mattie Lubchansky.
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