PODCAST · fiction
Thaestra - The Incursion War
by GrumpyGeek
RealPlay D&D 5e Podcast taking place in the Homebrew world of Thaestra. It details the adventures of a small military unit during the Incursion War... A battle between the denizens of this world and an invading demon army. Low quality audio, and even lower quality humor!
Episodes
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Thaestra - #098 - "Nobody makes Ovlan Think Thoughts!"
Wherein our Heroes, still piloting their less-heroic personae, discover the depth of Jethro's sociopathy, and are the victims of stunt casting. Also, a grand battle ensues with much shenaninganizing.
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Thaestra - #097 - "Grenablins"
Wherein our heroes' personae do battle with the security forces of the Kobold technocracy. Questions are answered, answers are questioned, and living grenades are invented.
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Thaestra - #096 - "Fisted Weapons"
Wherein we rejoin our heroes as they pilot their past personae through the streets of the Kobold technopolis, encountering (and eventually killing) many of its denizens.
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Thaestra - #095 - "This is cool, but it's dumb!"
Wherein, the party turns what was supposed to be a brief, chance encounter into a session-long stress-fest that nearly ends in a TPK. CONTENT WARNING: Emotions are high at the end of the session, and some of the players voice their very real feelings.
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Thaestra - #094 - Throwing a Radiant Steve
Wherein our heroes wrap up a brutal fight as their other personae in this twisted role-play scenario within a role-play scenario. Have they completed this bizarre dream sequence and fulfilled their quest? Or is there more to learn here?
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Thaestra - #093 - Sudden Jerking Motions
Wherein our heroes take on new personalities as they enter the mind of Thorgurin, the giant who's skull sits atop the temple in Yoges's village.
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Thaestra - #092 - Flurry of Thar She Blows
Wherein our heroes do battle with an unnameable, kraken-like monstrosity and a fish. (Don't worry... the fish survives.) Oh, and there's some mystical druid stuff, too.
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Thaestra - #091 - You don't have the Garst Tingle yet...
Wherein our heroes head off across the inland sea to where the Druids are rumored to dwell. But alas, no trip is complete without an encounter!
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Thaestra - #090 - No, this is a Sad Room!
Wherein our heroes meet the leader of Yoges's ... tribe? ... clan? Whatever. And get some insight into his particular brand of trauma. It gets a little... dark.
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Thaestra - #089 - Ok! MRS. BUG!
Wherein our heroes deal with the terrible evil that has crept into Yoges's village (and its people!) It's one long combat session, so hold on to your hats and glasses!
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Thaestra - #088 - You See His Waddle Become Engorged
Wherein our heroes finally make it to Yoges's village after weeks of travel, only to find that something is not right!
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Thaestra - #087 - Hooteromity
Road trip! Wherein our heroes travel for the better part of two months, and barely speak a word to each other! (Oh, and there's a bit of action at the end.)
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Thaestra - #086 - Hang in there!
The exciting Season 2 Premier, in which our heroes make travel plans! And, yeah... that's pretty much it.
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Thaestra - #085 - Fireballs Can't Melt Crystal Beams (Season 1 Finale)
The Season 1 Finale, wherein our heroes say goodbye to a long time friend who is striking out on a new path, and say hello to a new member of their team.
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Thaestra - #084 - In Gay Rave Culture...
Wherein we hear the thrilling conclusion of the epic battle between our heroes and Marcus Telranus.
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Thaestra - #083 - We're defending you, jackass!
Having been teleported into a forced audience with Marcus Telranus, our heroes confront him about his evil empire and demand change. With a few minor exception, it goes about how you'd expect.
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Thaestra - #082 - He's No More Enslaved than Before
Wherein our heroes battle their way up the tower, searching for Targigoth. Will they find the gangster-turned-corrupt-government-official? Will they put an end to his reign of tyranny? Will their be any sudden and unexpected plot twists? You'll have to listen to find out! (But seriously, would I...
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Thaestra - #081 - It's Meant to be Holsey
Wherein our Heroes attempt a daring prison raid!
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Thaestra - #080 - C's Get Degrees as You Stab 'em in the Knees!
Wherein our heroes secure plans, acquire resources, and begin their infiltration of the prison!
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Thaestra - #079 - Why the Fuck do you All Have Action Surge!?
Wherein the party ruins the best laid plans of the DM.
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Thaestra - #078 - Oh, this is SAD bedding...
Wherein much planning is attempted, but little is accomplished. (This is a short session due to technical difficulties.)
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Thaestra - #076 - Nice.
Wherein our heroes fight to survive a deadly ambush!
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Thaestra - #075 - Yoges is a B-tard, too!
Wherein our heroes find out that their covert incursion into enemy territory has not been as covert as they had hoped.
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Thaestra - #074 - "A Team Full of Shaqs"
Wherein our Heroes collect their special-ordered armor, explore their faith, and have their identities questioned. (Not necessarily in that order.) HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot pulling our feeds down to train an AI? If so, we'd love to hear from you! Join our Listeners' Discord...
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Thaestra - #069 - Kinkronomicon
Wherein our heroes find themselves with time to kill during a stopover in a small town. They visit a museum, discover new insights into Garst's background, and almost do a heist! HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot pulling our feeds down to train an AI? If so, we'd love to hear from you!...
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Thaestra - #071 - Excited About Volzzat Flaps!
Wherein our Heroes wrap up their battle with the deadly adult dragons attacking the train, and then navigate the complexities of avoiding attention for their heroic deeds. Nothing to see here, folks! Move along! HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot pulling our feeds down to train an AI? If...
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Thaestra - #070 - Except I'm Wearing Cleats!
Wherein our Heroes engage in epic combat against the nigh-overwhelming forces of evil, and Niv'ek extols the virtues of appropriate footwear. HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot training an AI? If so, we'd love to hear from you! Join our Listeners' Discord channel and introduce…
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Thaestra - #072 - Every time we use cocaine, we level up!
Wherein our Heroes arrive in the town of Teichos Aurista, where they will lay low and avoid as much attention as possible while waiting for the next Magi-Train departure and interrogating their "guest" about Targigoth's operation. HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot training an AI? If so,...
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Thaestra - #073 - Daniel, I want to hear about your pubes
Wherein our heroes find themselves in yet another shopping episode, this time spending their hard-earned coin on enchanted armor, with everyone getting a little something for their trouble. (Except Garst, but he doesn't count.) HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot training an AI? If so…
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Thaestra - #067 - One Boat, As Is.
Wherein our intrepid heroes learn many things: The extent to which Prince Gordon can help us, some disturbing news about Volzzat's past, and the nature of loss and how it can affect a magic-user's conjurings. What we don't learn is what they're going to do for the next two days while they wait…
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Thaestra - #066 - Aiming Straight for the Crack
Wherein our heroes encounter a possible ally who wishes to first see what it's like to be our enemy... At least temporarily. HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Are you something other than a bot pulling our feeds down to train an AI? If so, we'd love to hear from you! Join our Listeners' Discord…
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Thaestra - #058 - Daniel suffering in a generic way isn't funny.
Wherein much is discussed, little is decided, and virtually nothing actually happens. (There's a small shopping trip, but even that is pretty uneventful.) HEY LISTENERS! Are you real? Not just a bot pulling our feeds down to train an AI? If so, we'd love to hear from you! Join our Listeners'...
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Thaestra - #057 - I'm Willing to do Side-Quest Stuff...
Wherein new warriors join the cause, new enemies are revealed, and a new mission is assigned to us that comes with a revelation about a hero from another adventure. Oh, and Garst finds new ways to piss off his teammates.
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Thaestra - #051 - Oh, He Can Do Some THINGS...
Wherein our heroes are embroiled in an inter-dimensional war. A mighty battle ensues, and things look grim indeed!
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Thaestra - #052 - Split Him from Skull to Taint!
Wherein we find our heroes still locked in mortal combat with a nigh invincible army of terrors from the deepest pits of hell. Garst is there, too.
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Thaestra - #056 - Zela-Deez Nuts
A short-ish session, wherein Garst and Volzzat find themselves surrounded by assassins and must take swift and brutal action to escape.
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Thaestra - #053 - I'm a Perfect Specimen
Wherein our intrepid heroes return to the capital city of BLANK. There are some frank discussions about our future in the army and about Garst's "father", and some serious shopping in the magic markets. There is much haggling, bickering, and hemming & hawing.
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Thaestra - #054 - Get Out the Loopy Juice
A short interlude, in which plans are made for what we do while in town, and Garst tries to involve Volzzat in a capitalist scheme involving branded merchandise.
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Thaestra - #055 - Grumpy's Dadly Disappointment
In which Garst, Ni'Vek, and Yoges decide to become gladiators in the arena, while Volzzat takes a back seat to their shenanigans.
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Thaestra - #048 - No More Touching Stones
Wherein our Heroes dither about, taking their sweet time making plans for scouting the island. Much is argued, little is agreed upon, but action is finally taken, and a terrifying discovery is made. Also, contrary to all prevailing wisdom, they split the party. Three ways.
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Thaestra - #047 - Freudian Slur
Wherein our Heroes make quick work of the DM's mini-boss, much to his chagrin. And a long-awaited milestone is reached.
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Thaestra - #042 - We are the Malaria, My Friend
Wherein our heroes engage in dramatic combat with a host of fiendish enemies. There is much complaining about terrible rolls.
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Thaestra - #046 - It's Just Fire
Wherein our vaunted team of heroes has landed after their harrowing battle on dragon-back. They debate rest length, celebrate Volzzat's lucky arrow strike, and argue over which tactics to employ in their final confrontation with their evil nemesis.
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Thaestra - #045 - The Fall Before the Storm
Wherein our Dragon-Mounted Heroes mop up the rest of the flying demons, but are forced to land on a bare volcanic island, wounded, tired, and unsure of the status of their primary target.
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Thaestra - #043 - They fly now!?
Wherein our intrepid squad is given an important mission, post-betrayal. In order to succeed, they'll need to make some new friends and take to the skies! Technical Note: Missing some episodes? Confused about what's going on? We're posting this the same night we recorded it. We'll post the…
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Thaestra - #033 - Roark's Side-Quest #01 - Rock Beats Everything
Wherein we join a new group of adventurers (and one familiar face) as they find themselves going toe-to-toe with a shredded shroom, a pumped peridium, a ripped rhizomorph: the dreaded Mycelium Macho! (And very nearly have their asses handed to them!)
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Thaestra - The Incursion War - #032 - Dad came back with the milk... LET HIM COOK!
Wherein the battle for Helm's Keep comes to a thrilling conclusion, and our weary adventurers experience JigglePhysics for the first time. (Not necessarily in that order.)
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Thaestra - The Incursion War - #031 - I died as I lived: at disadvantage!
Wherein our heroes begin an epic, multi-session battle against an unspeakable evil, and Saika gives birth to a green, gooey baebae.
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Thaestra - The Incursion War - #030 - But What About Second Basement?
Wherein a truce is parleyed, basements are explored, traps are detonated, and monologues are recited.
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Thaestra - The Incursion War - #029 - At Extra Death's Door!
Wherein another stage of combat is resolved, and more prisoners are captured (surely to be tortured by Garst, and then covertly released or euthanized by Volzzat.)
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
RealPlay D&D 5e Podcast taking place in the Homebrew world of Thaestra. It details the adventures of a small military unit during the Incursion War... A battle between the denizens of this world and an invading demon army. Low quality audio, and even lower quality humor!
HOSTED BY
GrumpyGeek
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Thaestra - The Incursion War have?
Thaestra - The Incursion War currently has 71 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Thaestra - The Incursion War about?
RealPlay D&D 5e Podcast taking place in the Homebrew world of Thaestra. It details the adventures of a small military unit during the Incursion War... A battle between the denizens of this world and an invading demon army. Low quality audio, and even lower quality humor!
How often does Thaestra - The Incursion War release new episodes?
Thaestra - The Incursion War has 71 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Thaestra - The Incursion War?
You can listen to Thaestra - The Incursion War on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Thaestra - The Incursion War?
Thaestra - The Incursion War is created and hosted by GrumpyGeek.
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