PODCAST · society
The 2 Montys Podcast
by The 2 Montys
Hey, legends! Welcome to The 2 Montys Podcast, where Monty King and Monty Haron are basically professionals at talking absolute nonsense. We're serving up a wild cocktail of banter, laughter, and a sprinkle of surprisingly useful advice (but seriously, don't expect too much). So, if you're into laid-back vibes, laughter therapy, and the occasional nugget of wisdom, join us for a wild ride. The 2 Montys Podcast is not just a podcast; it's your virtual hangout with your two mates who've mastered the art of talking sh*t. Cheers to keeping it real and laughing along the way!
Episodes
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How old is Gavin Morris? - Ep 134
The boys are back, and this week’s episode manages to cover the 2027 2 Montys Charity Wedding, Newcastle’s Lord Mayor Gavin Morris, a potential New York talent agency mystery, wedding vendors who don’t understand the concept of staying out of the way, and one bloke who nearly destroys both knees...
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Groundhog Day - Ep 133
Benny the Magician is back, and once again he has absolutely no business being this good at magic. We kick things off with some genuinely f***ed-up magic before inevitably getting distracted by Bill Murray, Jason Statham, Groundhog Day, dill pickle chips, wedding speeches, graffiti in public...
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Banjo Paterson - Ep 132
Hey legends! This week King and Haron are once again joined by Benny the Magician, who nearly gets a bottle of prosecco through the ceiling proving a Coke trick actually works. Then it's a deep dive into King's camping trip disaster, the true story behind the "Banjo Paterson" bit, before the boys...
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Proof of Death Not Required - Ep 131
Benny the Magician is back with the 2 Montys to bend forks, minds, and hopefully not pull out anything from the bottom of his dress pants. Mentalism, groom drama, and a GoFundMe you won't believe. Spare a dollar?
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Hitler's Indigo Rabbit - Ep 130
We’re joined by Benny the Magician to talk weddings, magic, MCing and why everything at a wedding inevitably goes completely to shit. There are magic tricks, bent forks, mentalism, Hitler(?), a rabbit and a wedding guest hidden behind a hedge. So, basically, we're back baby.
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Beaver Out in the Stirrups - Ep 129
The boys are well and truly back and somehow the conversation goes from shotgun weddings and terrible wedding reviews to Meta glasses, celebrity crushes, Warhammer(?), Michael Bublé and some opinions that probably should have stayed in the car. Tom and Kate discuss the worst reviews they've...
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Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys - Ep 128
Tom and Kate from White Clover are back for another chat covering wedding season brain, the weird things you do on autopilot, impossible run sheets, roasting summer ceremonies and why every wedding professional ends up becoming an unofficial crisis manager. Plus a wild Darwin wedding story and...
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The $10,000 Song - Ep 127
Tom and Kate from White Clover Weddings are back and absolutely nothing stays on track. From wedding industry scams that genuinely have flown under our radar and awkward venue rules to scam callers, first aid at weddings and one of the all-time great emails to a Christian school, this one goes...
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Jim (John? Jack?) Ham? - Ep 126
This week on The 2 Montys Podcast, we're counting down to the annual 2 Montys Charity Wedding, where one lucky couple gets the full Montys experience while raising money for the Hunter Breast Cancer Foundation. Before the big day, things go completely off the rails. We dive into the weirdest…
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What's The Shelf For If It Isn't For My Schooner? - Ep 125
Haron accidentally finds himself defending a doctor called Lee, King jumps a median strip directly in front of a police wagon, the great "beer in the toilet" debate divides the room, and somehow the conversation ends with a dog enthusiastically licking blood off the floor of one of Australia's...
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Accosted for Living - Ep 124
This week, the boys are back with another beautifully unstructured episode that somehow covers everything from soggy DoorDash deliveries to being recognised by podcast listeners in the wild. We share the chaos of Divas on the Green, including one of the all-time worst jokes delivered after a few...
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Hanky Panky in the Back Seat - Ep 123
After a few weeks off, the boys are back and absolutely no topic is safe. This episode has a bit of everything: fighting Queensland traffic while half-dead from illness, an emotional wedding speech that proves exactly why photos and video matter, two dogs raising questions nobody asked and a...
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The Intern Did It - Ep 122
This week, Jack is back in the studio, and somehow we spend 30 minutes bouncing between AI wedding photography scandals, styled shoots, wedding expos, dodgy business practices, winter weddings, tattoos, social media burnout, and whether dolphins are bigger dickheads than cats. Along the way we...
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The Speech Written on a Box of Great Northern - Ep 121
This week, we're joined by wedding photographer Jack Ham (No relation to John Pork) for a wide-ranging chat covering everything from the wildest country wedding stories you've ever heard to the things wedding vendors secretly wish couples would stop doing. We dive into forgotten wedding rings,...
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Someone Tried to Lick Our Hands - Ep 120
This week on the Two Monty’s Podcast, we’re joined by Bizarre House to talk about one of the wildest event concepts Newcastle has ever seen. The Ball at Bartholomew’s is part immersive theatre, part fantasy gala, part fundraiser and apparently includes orchestras, roaming performers, hidden…
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Cardboard Coffins - Ep 119
What happens when a funeral director who actually gives a damn sits down with a wedding celebrant thinking about crossing over to the dark side (who previously has had choice words for the profession)? We get into the predatory tactics of big funeral corporations, why most people are in no state…
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The Architect of my Own Downfall - Ep 118
This week the boys are back and covering the full chaotic spectrum. The King opens with a rant about the parking inspector who rocked up to his tiny dead-end street to fine him $330 for parking his tinny the wrong way, and yes, the choice words he threw on the way past absolutely didn't help.…
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Snapped Taps and Stripped Threads - Ep 117
There's no escaping that this week’s episode is an absolute trainwreck. We battle audio issues for half the episode, somehow end up deep in a discussion about snapped taps, stripped threads and tyre prices, then completely derail into weddings, AI paranoia, daycare drama, country pubs, tattoos,...
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Ordained into the Chinese Hall of Fame - Ep 116
This week the boys are back with a proper mixed bag. From accidentally flooding a caravan park (and owning up to it… eventually) to freezing camping trips, questionable restaurant reviews, and the ongoing outrage of “fun size” chocolate getting smaller by the year. There’s also a deep dive into...
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It's Bath Time - Ep 115
One Monty is buried in laundry. The other is fully submerged in a bubble bath with a wine in hand. Business as usual if you ask me. This episode of Two Montys is pure, unfiltered chaos. We’re talking neighbour bin wars that escalate way too far, drive-thru design flaws that deserve jail time, and...
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Males in Malé - Ep 114
The boys are back and absolutely unhinged. This week it’s a full Maldives honeymoon debrief, from boozy resort loopholes and Malé to the kind of stories that definitely shouldn’t be told on a public platform… but here we are. We get into wild wedding moments (including one of the most cooked...
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The Etsy Witch King - Ep 113
If you’ve ever wondered whether astrology is complete nonsense, whether you can actually pay a witch on Etsy to control the weather, or how far people will go to avoid a rainy wedding, this episode delivers. The boys unpack some of the wildest things they’ve seen lately, from brides burying...
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The Only Catholic Priest in the World with a Fireworks Licence - Ep 112
This week, the boys continue to unpack the absolute chaos of a country wedding weekend. What starts with a simple trip to Glen Innes quickly spirals into fireworks run by a Catholic priest, the mystery of why a tiny town has so many lawyers, and the discovery that there are apparently only two...
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The Wedding of Monty and who?... Ep 111
This week on The Two Montys the boys recap the chaos of Haron’s wedding weekend in Glen Innes. What could have been a simple country wedding turned into rain, glamping tents, fireworks confusion, excavator entrances and significantly more. Monty breaks down the behind-the-scenes chaos of...
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They Froze $3,500 of My Money… So I Shut Them Down - Ep 110
This week is what happens when you lock two blokes in a room with microphones and no real plan. Monty’s firing off about hotel check-in times that make zero sense, online payment platforms holding money hostage, banks “processing” transfers like it’s 1987, and the absolute audacity of charging…
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Gay by Name, Gay by Nature - Ep 109
Episode 109 is a proper loose one. We kick off with some very questionable hand–eye coordination, throw in a bad back from picking up a phone charger, and somehow end up deep in the weeds about wedding vendors yelling “fully booked” into the void. Is it marketing? Is it ego? Is it just creating...
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Donkey Drag Racing - Ep 108
This week, we cover absolutely everything and solve absolutely nothing. There’s a drag race with teenagers at the lights, a deep dive into why ChatGPT rankings can’t be trusted, and a wedding so hot it nearly ended in heatstroke. Plus: Disney dealbreakers on Tinder, group chat oversharing,...
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Large 10 Nugget Meal - Ep 107
No plan, no prep, and somehow a full episode appears anyway. This week we cover the highs and mild panic of a charity wedding auction going right at the last possible second, questionable restaurant pricing (who is paying $42 for a cauliflower?), first days of high school, school zones with no...
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3 Celebrants and Whatever it is Scott Does - Ep 106
This episode goes completely off the rails when Jeremy casually reveals he’s been recording smut and somehow thinks this is a normal, scalable business idea. What follows is a deranged brainstorm involving anonymous submissions, monetising filth, whether you can sell erotica for the price of a...
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Time to Slam Some Clam - Ep 105
This week is… loose. The boys are joined by Scott, a longtime friend, barber and accidental elite gymnast, who immediately regrets coming on. There’s heated debate over who introduced who, whether Grafton is good actually, competitive gymnastics at an international level, getting kicked off…
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Dead Dads and Divorces - Ep 104
Episode 104 is loose from the jump. We kick things off with a truly criminal rendition of Country Roads, immediately derail into unsolicited life updates, and then welcome back our long-suffering friend Jeremy Bell, who somehow agreed to return after last time. From there it’s a rapid descent…
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I’ve Done 780 Weddings and I’m Not Wearing a White Shirt - Ep 103
The charity wedding auction is back for 2026. This episode is all about our annual charity wedding auction, where one couple can score a wedding worth around $80k–$100k by bidding at auction, with all proceeds going directly to charity. AUCTION DETAILS 📍 Adam’s Peak (as part of the Seidu Wedding...
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Merry Monty(mas) - Ep 102
Editor Note: Quick heads up, we’re taking a short break over the holidays. If you want to see us in the wild, come along to the Two Montys Charity Auction at Adams Peak. Back soon. From scavenger hunts and karaoke chaos to why most wedding speeches are far too long, this episode is a very honest,...
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Episode 100 (Adjacent) - Ep 101
Episode 101, and somehow we’re still here. This week, we spiral into celebrant organisation levels that feel borderline supernatural, unpack the idea of what’s “ethical” when it comes to ceremony scripts, and agree (once again) that horses for courses should probably be tattooed somewhere…
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The Big One - Episode 100
A hundred episodes of stories, chaos, weddings, vendors and pure madness, and this one might be the wildest yet. To mark the milestone we pulled in some proper Two Montys favourites to help unpack everything from drunk guests hiding bottles under tables to kitchens losing the plot, tight…
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Release the Bees, the Story of the Worst Wedding Ever, Seriously… Ep 99
White Clover join the boys for a wild deep dive into the most chaotic wedding they’ve ever played. Bees, blackouts, dodgy champagne maths, a grass fire and a maid of honour who faked a medical episode to avoid her speech. It’s all real, all from one unbelievable night. Plus plenty of chat about...
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Hip Hip, Hooray? - Ep 98
This one goes off the rails fast. We open with a wheelchair story, accidentally roast a blind man, talk about a guest who rocked up dressed better than the groom, and somehow end up deep in a conversation about latex outfits, cloacas and a goose with questionable intentions. There’s also a venue...
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The Big Lesbian Bush Doof - Ep 97
This week the lads dive deep into the chaos of weddings, vendors and the wild units you meet along the way. From escape-room key pickups at the Bay to vow books, scissors-scissors stand-offs, mystery text messages about sapphire foraging and the eternal battle for a decent vendor meal, it’s all...
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I’d Rather be Fishing - Ep 96
Will from Euphoria Films is back for another chaotic chat with the boys. This week, they unpack tales of the loosest celebrant you’ve ever heard of, question why dog people can’t go anywhere without their furry mates, and discuss posties hurling parcels at supersonic speeds just to save a few...
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Stained Track Pants and an Attitude - Ep 95
Welcome back to another episode of the world's favourite Monty-themed podcast. We're joined by (now) best friend of the show, Will from Euphoria Films, as we break down a rather wild story involving stained tracksuit pants, obnoxious camera placements and pettiness to an all-time level. Editors...
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How Airports and DVDs Work - Ep 94
Haron and The King are back with another completely unplanned ride, from airport chaos and dodgy travel habits to a passionate defence of the humble DVD. You've come to expect this, but let's be real, there's not much coherent about this ep.
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Get Rooted - Ep 93
The boys are finally back, cobwebs blown off and mics fired up. This week, they’re joined by very special guests Jayme and Kyle fresh off their charity wedding, one of the wildest parties we’ve seen. From confetti cannons to slab cakes, sax solos, and emotional vows (with a few rogue C-words…
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Enzo's World - Ep 92
Jayme and Kyle are back from their 2 Montys wedding extravaganza, slightly hungover, fully married, and ready to spill everything. From chaotic dance floors to canine fame, the boys break down how their dog Enzo accidentally became a TikTok superstar (to the absolute disgust of The King). It’s...
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Box of Tissues on the Parcel Shelf - Ep 91
Starlink internet rants, wedding day disasters, drunk tattoo reveals, old people behind the wheel, and the eternal mystery of tissues on the backseat shelf. Haron and The King spiral through stories of bridal meltdowns, Coachella-level outfit planning, and questionable life advice, all while…
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Come and Knock Our Backdoor In - Ep 90
King and Haron roll in with no plan (as usual) and somehow spin 35 minutes out of milk frothing, wedding chaos, and dogs that won’t shut up. Haron recounts dodging roadblocks through stranger’s paddocks just to make it to a Byron Bay ceremony in time, while King admits the only time he’s truly...
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Hey Kim, Want to do the Charity Auction Again Next Year? - Ep 89
This week Haron and King serve up pure chaos: kids being yeeted through wedding photos (the only podcast where babies become photo props), mums hijacking speeches to save marriage “for God and country” (Bible studies meets open mic night), and ninja vows that escalate into someone secretly buying…
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Is This What Gets Us Cancelled? - Ep 88
The Montys are back, coffees in hand and already taking the p*** out of each other. This week, it’s all about weddings that spiral into “organised chaos,” why the shoe game never really works, and how sometimes a packed run sheet just means more fun for the MC. Haron brings tales from a South...
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It's Always Sunny in Broke - Ep 87
The King and Haron are back in the studio on Riverside, but not before they catch up on a busy few weeks. The King recaps a "goat party" fundraiser he attended for a Newcastle photographer. Haron then talks about a last-minute trip to the Hunter Valley for a couple of days of wine tasting and…
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Burnt Orange? That’s What They Called Me in High School - Ep 86
The Montys are back, this time with fresh linen chat, questionable cocktails, and the return of their infamous side-tracks. From the joys (and failures) of online sheet shopping to oversized wine pours, awkward Uber etiquette, and a few too many stories about nudes gone wrong, nothing is...
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Scrub Daddy - Ep 85
Episode 85 of the 2 Monty’s Podcast is a wild mix of wedding world gossip, bizarre encounters, and questionable life choices. The King kicks things off with a story about working alongside a magician at a wedding whose tricks were so good they had vendors following him around like groupies. From...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Hey, legends! Welcome to The 2 Montys Podcast, where Monty King and Monty Haron are basically professionals at talking absolute nonsense. We're serving up a wild cocktail of banter, laughter, and a sprinkle of surprisingly useful advice (but seriously, don't expect too much). So, if you're into laid-back vibes, laughter therapy, and the occasional nugget of wisdom, join us for a wild ride. The 2 Montys Podcast is not just a podcast; it's your virtual hangout with your two mates who've mastered the art of talking sh*t. Cheers to keeping it real and laughing along the way!
HOSTED BY
The 2 Montys
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