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The 3rd One Sucks

by Dan Ellis and Mark Beall

The 3rd One Sucks is a monthly podcast where our hosts Dan and Mark watch every film in a franchise and rank them from first to worst! It is definitely not an excuse for them to hang out with each other regularly and joke about movies! Uploads the first Thursday of every month.

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Episodes

  1. Spider-Man 2 (2004)

    We're back with Spider-Man 2 (2004)! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one left us with nothing... except Spider-Man. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Correction: I said flyback when I...

  2. Spider-Man (2002)

    It's the Spider-Man season folks and we're kicking things off with Sam Raimi's Spider-Man from 2002. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one our husband made for us? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  3. Season 8 Release Update

    See y'all in September.

  4. Cliffdiver - Birdwatching (2024) [Sophomore Slump]

    We're continuing our Cliffdiver run with their second full-length, Birdwatching. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one has a marimba type beat in it? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate…

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  5. Cliffdiver - Exercise Your Demons (2022) + F.A.K.E. (2023) [Sophomore Slump]

    We're continuing out Cliffdiver run with their first full-length, Exercise Your Demons. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one surprised at least one of us on relisten! Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  6. Cliffdiver - Small Hours & At Your Own Risk + 3 Singles (2018 - 2020) [Sophomore Slump]

    Hey sad bois (gender neutral), in response to their upcoming hiatus Mark and Dan are covering the discography of Tulsa natives Cliffdiver, starting with a collection of their early material. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one is good enough (enough for anyone)! Donate to the...

  7. Back to the Future Part III (1990)

    Hey you yellowbellies, we're going back to the old west in Back to the Future Part III as we decide which one is the best and which one has a GD STEAM TRAIN TIME MACHINE! Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate...

  8. Back to the Future Part II (1989)

    Hey buttheads, we're going back to the far off future of 2015 in Back to the Future Part II as we decide which one is the best and which one gave the highest office to a fascistic real estate despot who is terrible with money unless he has insider knowledge... you know, pure fiction. Donate to…

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  9. Back to the Future (1985)

    Hey Chuck, it's me, Marvin. You know, your cousin Marvin Podcast! I'm here to take you Back to the Future to find that new sound you've been looking for. Get a load of this episode as we decide which one is the best and which one has Marty's mom trying to fuck him the whole time. Donate to the...

  10. Jurassic World - Rebirth (2025)

    It's like some sort of, I dunno, Jurassic World: Rebirth. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one has those slutty little glasses. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 0:00...

  11. Jurassic World - Dominion (2022)

    The king of bugs has given us Dominion over this film! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one gots bugs in it. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 0:00 Audience Review -...

  12. Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom (2018)

    Something something the Kingdom has Fallen and we are struggling to talk about it. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one made a dinosaur that is part raptor, part other stuff and part raptor. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  13. Jurassic World (2015)

    It's a whole new Jurassic World this week! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one was a shiny new theme park built on the corpse of something we once held sacred. (Sorry about the mic noise in this episode) Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/...

  14. Jurassic Park III (2001)

    Square up, Spino Bros™! It's time for JPIII! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one... really surprised us? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 0:00 Audience Review - 1:13...

  15. The Lost World - Jurassic Park (1997)

    Grab your lucky pack because this second island of genetically bio-engineered dino monstrosities is a veritable Lost World - Jurassic Park 1997! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one features noted compy sadist Tim Roth. Donate to the below causes:...

  16. Jurassic Park (1993)

    Wanna hear someone gush about dinosaurs and 1993 cinematic masterpiece Jurassic Park for a couple hours? We got you covered. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one... oh who are we kidding, this one is the best. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/...

  17. Tron: Ares (2025)

    Tron: Ares is what Webster's Dictionary defines as "a movie" and we technically talk about it during this podcast. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one "stars" Jared Leto. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  18. Tron: Legacy (2010)

    We're really messing with your zen thing this week as we cover Tron Legacy and decide which one is the best and which one has a dope ass soundtrack. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Corporate…

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  19. Tron (1982)

    Wanna cyber? This week Cory Cox joins us once again as we cover Tron to decide which one is the best and which one derails the podcast for 20 minutes of arcade nostalgia talk. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/…

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  20. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

    Oh neat, Fleabag is here. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one blames continental drift for a 21,000 year time travel mishap. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Corporate Hell…

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  21. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

    Oh boy... This is certainly a film. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one... I dunno y'all, it's not good. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Corporate Hell - 0:00 Intro - 0:17...

  22. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

    Ask not why you seek the grail but what the grail can seek for you? Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one goes full Looney Tunes. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Corporate…

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  23. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

    My body is a temple in that it couldn't possibly be more doomed. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one is just uncomfortably racist in its depiction of Indians. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  24. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

    This week we're raiding uncharted tombs and punching nazis with Raiders of the Lost Ark! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one reveals Indiana as a sex predator? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  25. Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

    This week we're just a couple of big old babies taking our first steps with Fantastic Four: First Steps! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one has Daddy Pedro in it. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  26. Fantastic Four (2015)

    This week? Fant4stic. Choices were made. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one might give us a good The Maker in the MCU? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 0:00…

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  27. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

    This week we herald the arrival of Doug Jones with Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer. Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one we'd rather spend like 10 minutes talking about The Materialists instead of it? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/...

  28. Fantastic Four (2005)

    It's the Season 7 premiere! Fantastic Four (2005) is technically a movie and we're gonna talk about it! Join us as we decide which one is the best and which one ends with someone being iced and deported? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  29. Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - In Lieu of Flowers (2024) [Sophomore Slump]

    This week we wrap up our run through the Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties discography with In Lieu of Flowers! Join us as we decide which album is the best and which one comes full circle on that whole dead leaves scrapping concrete thing. Donate to the below causes:...

  30. Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - Routine Maintenance (2019) [Sophomore Slump]

    This we continue our trek through the works of Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties with Routine Maintenance! Join us as we decide which album is the best and which one we bawled our asses off to? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  31. Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - We Don't Have Each Other (2014) + Bittersweet (2016) and Orchard Park (2017) [Sophomore Slump]

    Dan drags Mark into the discography of Aaron West & the Roaring Twenties starting with We Don't Have Each Other, Bittersweet and Orchard Park! Join us as we decide which album is the best and which one has the a drunk white dude breaking his phone and putting holes in walls? Donate to the below...

  32. Pet Symmetry - Big Symmetry (2025) [Sophomore Slump]

    Let's get the fuck out of this place and back into the discography of Pet Symmetry with their newest record Big Symmetry! Join us as we decide which album is the best and which one drip-fed us singles across three calendar years. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/...

  33. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

    Cool Dadi-o? We're frozen! It's Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire time! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one won't let our girl kiss her ghost girlfriend! During pride month?! Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  34. Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

    Journey with us into the Ghostbusters Afterlife as we... well, you get it! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one takes place in rural Oklahoma. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate…

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  35. Ghostbusters (2016)

    If you haven't heard enough opinions on Ghostbusters (2016) from non-women then great news! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one taught us that an aquarium is a submarine for fish. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/...

  36. Ghostbusters II (1989)

    Get goo'd, nerds! It's Ghostbusters II time! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one has the better soundtrack, don't @ me. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 00:00...

  37. Ghostbusters (1984)

    Who ya gonna call? If you said Ghostbusters you've never been more wrong in your entire life! It is however time to bust some ghosts as we tackle the (alleged) classic Ghostbusters! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one should have been more like... Caddyshack? Donate to the...

  38. Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024)

    We're going way past fast this week with Sonic The Hedgehog 3! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one is undesirable to all possible genders. Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps:...

  39. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

    We're going even faster as we cover Sonic The Hedgehog 2! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one features a wedding in Hawaii? Donate to the below causes: https://translifeline.org/donate/ https://www.pcrf.net/ https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 00:00...

  40. Sonic the Hedgehog (1996) & Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

    We're finally going fast as we jump into the world(s) of Sonic the Hedgehog with a double feature covering the OVAs from 1996 (localized in the US as Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie in 1999) and the live action Sonic The Hedgehog film from 2020. Join us as we decide which film is the best and which...

  41. Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

    This episode is theoretically about Jumanji: The Next Level. Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one we spend most of the episode ignoring to talk about literally anything else. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled South at:...

  42. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

    We have Jumanji at home. Jumanji at home: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one Dan clearly had a bad time with. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled South at: https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro…

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  43. Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

    Jumanjiiiii Innnnnnn Spaaaaaaace! It's Zathura time, y'all. Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one has ole Joshy Hutch in it. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled South at: https://www.newdisabledsouth.org/donate Timestamps: Intro - 00:00 Audience...

  44. Jumanji (1995)

    You know we're over 30 because we're getting sucked into a board game. We're kicking off the new year with Jumanji! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one has a shoe factory that inexplicably baffles one of our hosts. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New...

  45. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974) & The Stingiest Man in Town (1978)

    Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. We're wrapping up our current trek through the Rankin/Bass extended universe with 'Twas the Night Before Christmas & The Stingiest Man in Town! Join us as we decide which special is the best and which one manages to make A Christmas Carol suck. Donate to PCRF...

  46. The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974) & A Miser Brothers' Christmas (2008)

    We're continuing our trek through the Rankin/Bass extended universe with The Year Without A Sanata Claus & A Miser Bros Christmas! Join us as we decide which special is the best and which one de-yassified the Misers. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled South at:...

  47. Jack Frost (1979) & Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys (2001)

    We're continuing our trek through the Rankin/Bass extended universe with Jack Frost & Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys! Join us as we decide which special is the best and which one is "cut rate dime-store VeggieTales wannabe bullshit". Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New...

  48. Frosty Returns (1993) & The Legend of Frosty the Snowman (2005)

    We're re-entering the Frostyverse with Frosty Returns and The Legend of Frosty the Snowman as we continue our journey through the Rankin/Bass extended universe! Join us as we decide which special is the best and which one throws canon in the garbage. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/…

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  49. A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)

    You'll want to get in on this day one as we round out this run with A Quiet Place: Day One! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one expects you to sacrifice yourself heroically for a physically healthy white man. Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled...

  50. A Quiet Place Part II (2021)

    This is your sign to dive into A Quiet Place Part II with us! Join us as we decide which film is the best and which one expects you to be scared of "grimy" Appalachian folk without clarifying what the actual threat is in the moment? Donate to PCRF at: https://www.pcrf.net/ Donate to New Disabled...

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

The 3rd One Sucks is a monthly podcast where our hosts Dan and Mark watch every film in a franchise and rank them from first to worst! It is definitely not an excuse for them to hang out with each other regularly and joke about movies! Uploads the first Thursday of every month.

HOSTED BY

Dan Ellis and Mark Beall

CATEGORIES

tv film

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does The 3rd One Sucks have?

The 3rd One Sucks currently has 177 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is The 3rd One Sucks about?

The 3rd One Sucks is a monthly podcast where our hosts Dan and Mark watch every film in a franchise and rank them from first to worst! It is definitely not an excuse for them to hang out with each other regularly and joke about movies! Uploads the first Thursday of every month.

How often does The 3rd One Sucks release new episodes?

The 3rd One Sucks publishes regularly with 177 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.

Where can I listen to The 3rd One Sucks?

You can listen to The 3rd One Sucks on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts The 3rd One Sucks?

The 3rd One Sucks is created and hosted by Dan Ellis and Mark Beall.
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