The 90s Never Happened

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Finally, we finish 1992-93's X-Men X-Over X-Cutioner's Song, and it has x-hausted us! This episode, we read parts 10-12 from 1993’s X-Factor #86, X-Men #16, & X-Force #18 and go out in style. Stryfe is still on his mommy/daddy fetishist bullshit, Wolverine wants some hot moon action, and all the plot points that have been driving us bananas are all resolved...ish. Get your teleporter fired up, your secret moon base full of beer, and your enemies all in one room for this massive ending to an overstuffed storyline! Do Dan, Jude, and Bree make it weird? You bet they do!  Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Dan, Jude, and Bree continuing their coverage of 92-93's mutant saga X-Cutioner's song this week with parts 7-9: X-Men #15, X-Force #17, & Uncanny X-Men 296. Stryfe give us some slam poetry while acting out some torture fetish shit with Cyclops and Jean, Cable hangs out with Wolverine and Bishop for some coffee talk, and Professor X is still dying. Find out what's going on with all your favorites in our penultimate episode of this massive x-over event! Also, what the fuck is up with Apocalypse and what the hell happened to Mr. Sinister?! This plot has been stretched to its limit, and we're still not done! Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Last time on The 90s Never Happened, we read the first chunk of 1993-94's X-Cutioner's Song crossover event! This time, we're still friggin' reading it! That's right, we're getting pouch-deep in parts 4-6 in X-Force #16, Uncanny X-Men 295, & X-Factor #85! The X-Men battles X-Force, Cyclops and Jean Grey are missing, Professor X is dead(ish), and there are more story arcs and villains than we care to count. So grab your daddy issues, wake yourself up early from your immortal slumber. It's time for a heaping helping of 90s X nonsense! Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  It's time for our next big crossover, and we're going back to X-mags to read 93-94's X-Cutioner's song event. Yes, I did spell that correctly. We read the first three parts laid out in Uncanny X-Men 294, X-Factor 84, & X-Men 14. Find out how many mutant heroes, villains, and human pals Marvel can cram into a single storyline. Start this crossover off with a bang and strap yourself in. This one is gonna be messy. Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  We asked and you answered by...uh...asking! For the first time ever, we answer some of our fan's most alluring questions. Who carries loose spaghetti in their pouch? Why is Jude on the run from Canadian Mounties? Who's nailing who at the X-Mansion? We answer these and more! Hell, we even answer some questions no one asked!  Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  For some hot summer "fun" we take a peek into some of the images inside Marvel's 1993 Swimsuit Special: Big Fun on Monster Island. Take a trip to wet dream paradise and join Jude and Bree while they're forced to describe the images Dan sends them. Discover the images that kickstarted thousands of prepubescent boners! It's not quite as steamy as Hot Swine Summer, but it'll do! Remember, masturbators, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  You wanted more Luke Cage, so we're bringing you more Luke Cage! Well, Jude and Bree wanted more Luke Cage, but we've brought you more anyway. In today's episode, we go over 1992's Cage issues 3 and 4 guest starring the 90's favorite grumpy gus: The Punisher. We  go over all the hits, kicks, time traveling, and leather-clad fun. And do the ladies get horny? You bet they do! Remember, kiddos, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Jude and Bree have been absolutely frothing at the bit for an episode about marvel's hardest hero. He's big, he's bald, he's badass. I'm speaking, of course, of Luke Cage. Daniel has his work cut out for him presenting the first two issues of 1992's Cage to the horniest women this side of a comic book store! So join the fun, bark like a dog, and cross the line into the inappropriate. And Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, be sure to tell them the 90s Never Happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  This week, through no fault of their own, Dan, Jude, and Bree find themselves lost in the Spider-Man/X-Force crossover "Sabotage". Black Tom Cassidy blew up the World Trade Center, brought Juggernaut back from an undisclosed dimension, and all hell has broken loose in New York City. Can the combined efforts of a forced crossover be enough to turn the tide and clean up all these dangling storylines? Unstoppable force, meet immovable object. Does this two-part Marvel mess stand the test of time, or does it fall flat on its face? We discuss the comics, the inherent racism, discuss if Liefeld was in on the 9/11 conspiracy, and a shitload more!  Remember, if anyone asks you what comics they should read, tell them Rob Liefeld predicted 9/11 and the nineties never happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  "What are we, some kind of X-Force?" Dan, Jude, and Bree finished New Mutants in lackluster style in our last episode, and we've moved onto Rob Liefeld's X-Force. We read the first three issues and dissect the art, writing, story, and discuss the mania around this new title. Does it hold up? In a word: no. Grab your best mutant pals and gather 'round your clandestine base. You're not going to miss of this new violent chapter in Marvel history! And don't forget, if someone asks you what comics to read, tell them the 90s never happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social.

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Last week we discussed the Rob Liefeld and his contributions to the world of sloppy comic book creation. This time around, we're reading some of his work in 1991's New Mutants issues 98-100. How did Robby do when he took over writing and drawing the final three issues of this iconic run? How many first appearances can be shoved into a single issue? Is Cable fit to to run an army of mutants too young to buy beer? Find out the answers to those questions and a lot more you didn't think to ask as we see the end of an era and lead into the beginning something new. Join Dan, Jude, and Bree as we Willy Wonka your ass into a world of big muscles, elaborate guns, teenage women in skimpy outfits, confusing battles, and f*ckable cats--All from the twisted mind of Rob Liefeld. But remember, if someone asks you what comics they should read, tell them the 90s never happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Amazingly, we've gotten to episode 18 without having to talk about 90s "icon" Rob Liefeld. Before diving into his run on New Mutants and X-Force, we get into the man behind the feet, pockets, and question-mark-shaped women. Who was Rob Liefeld, and can this podcast do his legend justice?  Take a journey to the 90s and discover how Rob got himself discovered, forced himself down all of our throats, and created Deadpool. The trash-mouthed comic artist everyone loves to hate has made his mark being a dick, infringing on IP, and causing a shitstorm that almost destroyed Marvel itself. Did we mention he created Deadpool? Because if you ask Rob, he'll tell you himself how he created Deadpool.  So get ready to ride the wave of mediocrity disguised as greatness before Rob Liefeld sends us a cease-and-desist to pull this episode. And remember, if anyone wants to know what comics to read, tell them the 90s never happened and Rob Liefeld created Deadpool. Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff to support the show. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Sometimes life gets in the way of reading comics, so instead of a new episode, we have a blooper reel for you. Hear a pile of slop cut from our first sixteen episodes while we plan our next big stretch. Please enjoy this nonsense made from nonsense and please don't tell any of our mothers what we said. We'll be back with new content in the new future, and it's going to be about Rob Liefled and X-Force, so be prepared. In the meantime, if anyone asks you what comics you should read, go right ahead and tell them the 90s never happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  Since everyone is getting high during podcast recordings (Bree, mostly), Dan decided to teach everyone a lesson about the dangers of drug use--90s style! We start with Captain America Goes To War Against Drugs (no shit, that's the title) and The Amazing Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice. What do Cap and Spidey have to teach young people about drug abuse and how to avoid letting your youth sports team down. Find out how evil space aliens want kids on drugs in a bid to take over the planet. Swing into action on the mean streets of Winnipeg and discover how hockey pucks play a role in drug smuggling!  Put down your bong or crack pipe, flush those quaaludes down the toilet, and stay out of grandma's medicine cabinet! Dan, Jude, and Bree are here to make sure you just say no! And if any strange men who might be drug-peddling aliens tell you the first time is free while asking about what comic books they should read, make sure to let the know the 90s never happened! Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about children using drugs, child abuse, drug abuse, and other topics that may be too much for sensitive listeners. Kids, don't do drugs. Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!  This week, Dan, Jude, and Bree get geared up for their first firefight with The Punisher. We read and review issues 47-48 from 1991 AKA The Brattle Gun. What was Marvel thinking when they advertised this as a Dessert Storm tie-in? Is Frank Castle's fake mustache a hate crime? Does the giant gun symbolize a penis? We'll get into all that and more! So get your bullet-proof jackets and your map of fake countries as our trio of faux experts take you on a journey to a part of the world that's seen more turmoil than a Marvel writing room! And if anyone tells you about these skirmishes in the Middle East while asking about what comic books they should read, make sure to let the know the 90s never happened! Content Warning: This episode contains historical facts and opinions regarding the area of the world commonly called "The Middle East". Though its discussed with a tongue-in-cheek tone, some listeners may be offended by the content since the source material was a tad on the Islamophobic side with a large scoop of Zionism on top. There are also descriptions of violence, sexual assault, and some political commentary based on the comics we reviewed.    Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Either that or you just don't care. At long last, we finish the saga of Peter Parkers on-again/off-again parents, and we do it without Jude! We're reading the Lifetheft (one word) storyline from Amazing Spider-Man issues 386-388 from 1994. What's the deal with Richard and Mary Parker. how does it tie into Vulture's plot to become young again, and why is everyone getting sucked dry? Let our trio-minus-one pretend comic book experts tell you! Remember, kiddos, if you find yourself no long and orphan and then possibly becoming one again in record time and someone asks you what comic books you should read, tell them the 90s never happened! Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Either that or you just don't care. If Johnny Cochran were alive today, he'd have a thing or two to say about this week's episode. Since he's gone, Dan, Jude, and Bree are stuck lamenting over the second nuttiest trial of the nineties. That's right, it's the Trial By Jury three-issue arc from Amazing Spider-Man 383-385. Our trio of pretend comic book experts put on their pretend lawyer hats. Meanwhile, Peter Parker's perplexing parental problems aren't getting any better. Also, Peter does the worst thing to Mary Jane we've seen on this podcast so far!  So if you find yourself on trial by a bunch of Iron Man wannabes while your aunt doubts your parents' existence, make damn sure to plead The 90s Never Happened!  Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!   This week,  Dan, Jude, and Bree continue their discussion on Peter Parker's pernicious parents. Are they who they claim to be, or are they clones, aliens, alien clones, boomer assholes, or something even weirder? Our crack team of comic book readers and pretend experts will get to the bottom of it all! Also, what's the deal with all these damn Spider Slayers messing up Spidey's "platonic" outings with his ex girlfriend The Black Cat?   Remember, kids, if a white-haired woman dressed in black showing almost all of her boobies asks you what comics you should read, be sure to tell her that the 90s never happened!   Like, subscribe, and do all that good stuff. Follow us on Bluesky: @90sNeverHappened.bsky.social

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask!   Because Jude and Bree demanded it, we're talking about Peter Parker's Parents and their 90s resurrection. Who are Mary and Richard Parker? Where have they been all these years? Why is Peter being such a little bitch about it? We answer those questions (probably) and more as we take a deep dive into this superhero who suddenly isn't an orphan anymore!  Also, we talk about Black Cat and Spidey's relationship, Mary Jane's relationship with those cancer sticks, and our relationship to one another. This week's suggested reading is Amazing Spider-Man issues 366-369 from the year of our spider lord 1992!  Remember, if your parents come back from the dead and ask what comic books they should read, be sure and tell them the 90s never happened!  

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Happy belated Valentine's Day from Dan, Jude, and Bree. On this special holiday episode, we read 1997's Marvel Valentine Special, which includes five short lovey dovey tales featuring Spider-Man and Mary Jane, Daredevil, Venus, Absorbing Man and Titania, and Cyclops and Jean Grey! Do these five stories bring up feelings of love or trigger our collective gag reflexes?   You may have eaten your last heart-shaped chocolate, but we're going to keep bringing you gifts in audio form! Like, subscribe, and tell your lovers. If anyone stops the coitus to ask what comic books they should read, be sure and tell them the 90s never happened! *** Content warning: Talk of sexual assault, domestic abuse, and other such topics are discussed while we cover the Daredevil "Love Hurts" story. Some strong language is used that may trigger or upset. If you wish to listen to this episode and skip this portion, it takes place from 19:45 to 37:31. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation and you need help, call the National Domestic Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-Safe(7233)

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! We finally get around to finishing Maximum Carnage! Dan, Jude, and Bree read part 14 in Spider-Man Unlimited #2. They discuss how Peter was right to lock Mary Jane out of his double life, why Spider-Man has such a hardon for sparing Carnage's life, and what happens when comic book writers don't know how electric facilities operate. Also, we talk about the comic book.  This roller coaster may be over, but this show sure isn't! Like, subscribe, and tell your friends. Go to confession while you're at it. If your priest asks what comics he should read, make sure and tell him The 90's Never Happened. *** Programming note: At the end of this episode we discuss jumping into Amazing Spider-Man 366-369 for the saga of Peter's parents. Instead, we'll be reading 1997's Marvel Valentine Special--just in time to be three entire days late for a Valentine's Day episode!

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Jude is back from her stint in prison, so we're web-shooters deep into Maximum Carnage. This week, we've read parts 9-13. In the penultimate episode of this crossover, we get exhausted from the amount of superheroes in this thing, Captain America's forced patriotism, and Peter's gaslighting of Mary Jane. And what the hell are Morbius, Deathlok, and Iron Fist even doing here? As always, like and subscribe. Tell a friend. Make sure your proctologist listens. Leave a review, especially if you hate us. This thing runs on props. If anyone asks you what comics to read, tell them The 90s Never Happened!

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Jude is missing for "reasons", so our coverage of Maximum Carnage is once again put off for another week. Instead of following the outline of episodes someone painstakingly put together, Dan and Brynn invite some dude named Matt Rose to the show to discuss 1994's X-Men #30 AKA The Ties That Bind AKA the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. We discuss mutant marriage rights, the consistency of wedding attire, and speculate on who's making the wedding all about themselves. Don't get to used to these lovey-dovey themes! We'll return next week with Jude with our penultimate Maximum Carnage episode. We'll be covering Web of Spider-Man 103, Amazing Spider-Man 380, Spider-Man 37, and Spectacular Spider-Man 203. As always, like and subscribe. Tell a friend. Tell your mother while she's drunk at a wedding. Leave a review, even if you hate us. Keep this machine running. If anyone asks you what comics to read, tell them The 90s Never Happened!

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, your one-stop podcast for everything you wanted to know about 90s comics but are too afraid to ask! Like Spidey, Maximum Carnage is kicking our asses. So, this week, Dan, Jude, and Bree decide to take a break from it to hear some lore. Back in 1993, Dan was punched in the stomach in sixth grade because of an issue of Maximum Carnage. Which one was it? How did Dan cope with the punching? Will Jude and Bree look at him differently after hearing this harrowing tale? Tune in and find out! As always, like and subscribe. Tell a friend. Tell your mother. Leave us a review or something. This machine runs on props and clout!  Programming note: At the end of this episode, we advertise Maximum Carnage parts 10-13 for the following episode. Due to some unforeseen nonsense, we will not be doing this next week, but we will be getting back into it soon! Instead, next week's episode will feature a guest host, and we'll be reading and dissecting 1994's X-Men #30: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. 

Dan, Jude, and Bree continue their reading of 1993's Spider-Man crossover Maximum Carnage with parts 6-9(lol). The sheer amount of new hero intros exhaust the crap out of us, but we persevere to discuss how Mary Jane is the real hero, Spider-Man is wrong about pretty much everything, and how the writers were venting their frustration in the narrative.  Programming update: At the end of this episode, we give Maximum Carnage parts 10-13 as next week's reading. Due to unforeseen events, those will be postponed. Instead, we'll be talking about a real-life nineties event Spider-Man adjacent. As always, like, subscribe, and deal with the fact that the 90s never happened.

Dan, Jude, and Bree get tits-deep in Maximum Carnage as they explore parts 2-5 of the 1993 Spider-Man crossover featuring too many heroes and villains to list in a podcast episode description. What does our gang think about the continuing saga of good versus evil? Will Team Spidey or The Carnage Family reign supreme? Did Mary Jane just pick up that pack of cigarettes?! Suggested reading is Maximum Carnage parts 2-5 in Web of Spider-Man 101, Amazing Spider-Man 378, Spider-Man 35, and Spectacular Spider-Man 201. Catch up on our episodes leading up to Maximum Carnage and don't forget to follow on your favorite podcast app. Like and subscribe for more 90s fun, and follow the pod on Bluesky: 90sNeverHappened.BSKY.Social.

The 90s Never Happened episode 3: An Undeterminable Amount of Carnage In this episode, Dan lays out part one of fourteen of Maximum Carnage with Spider-Man Unlimited #1. Spidey's getting ready to face his most deadly foe once more, but he's not going at it alone. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Jude and Bree are along for the blood-fueled ride where we see Carnage bust out of a mental institution, meet Kiss's number one fan Shriek, and tears ass through New York. Does the start of this epic showdown hold up, or is Maximum Carnage shaping up to be a big, floppy symbiote tendril? Tune in to find out! 

Our podcast is off and swinging like a certain man with spider-like abilities! On this, our second episode, we set up our first big storyline with Maximum Preamble. Since we'll be reading and dissecting the 1993 Spider-Man crossover Maximum Carnage, we're going to be going a little further back to see how it all came about.  Dan, Jude, and Bree go through Carnage's first appearance and storyline, starting with Amazing Spider-Man 361-363 from 1992. We continue with Spidey and Venom's "FINAL CONFRONTATION" and subsequent truce in issues 374-375 from 1993. How well did these comics do getting our trio of comic-reading miscreants ready for what's to come? Tune in and find out!   

Welcome to The 90s Never Happened, a podcast about 90s comic books. Join Daniel, Jude, and Bree as they discuss everything that made comics of this decade so nutty and out of control.  In our first episode, our resident heroes introduce themselves, talk about what brought them to the table, and some of the issues with the 90s. It what's hailed by critics as the "worst episode ever" we find out way too much about not enough.  Join us, won't you?